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Would Rincewind from Discworld survive Castle Dracula?
I've got multiple asks apiece for Sam Vimes and Moist von Lipwig, but HECK YES I wanna talk about Rincewind!
If Rincewind knows one thing, it's when to run away from a bad situation. The Dead travel fast but Rincewind is faster. Rincewind does not want to be here. Nobody nopes like him. At the very first red flag Rincewind is RinceOUT.
...unfortunately Fate hates him. Inevitably, he ends up sheltering for the night... at Castle Dracula.
(Re: the crucifix, "for your mother's sake" is unlikely to move him, since she ran away before he was born. But Rincewind doesn't shave - he needs his beard, he has too little as it is!)
Rincewind is a coward by birth, upbringing and vocation. He is pretty good at convincing people not to kill him and he usually looks too pathetic to be worth the bother. He is not at all good at convincing people not to force him into heroic roles that he absolutely does not want. But staying alive is pretty much his speciality.
Rincewind is afraid of perfectly ordinary women - he is terrified of the Girlies, and is just as good at running from them screaming as Jonathan is. Better, arguably. I don't think anyone has ever said "I too can love" about him though, and I don't think anyone is going to. Dracula may not rescue him from the Girlies ... but he gets lucky and escapes them somehow.
Fate may hate him, but the Lady think he's her specialist little guy. Rincewind's luck is extraordinary.
And that's the clincher for me. Rincewind is Fate's chewtoy and DEATH's hobby, but he is the champion of an actual literal god, and She is going to pull him through kicking and screaming.
For anyone asking why he doesn't try magic, magic is not going to help him because he's real bad at it. Dracula is an objectively better wizard than he is, and I honestly don't know how this informs their relationship.
...oh man if Dracula takes his hat he's gonna be so mad. So mad.
His one biggest hurdle is going to be the wall due to his crippling fear of grounds. But I think the Lady will have his back on this one, so when he accidentally trips and falls out the window he'll have no choice but to climb. He'll hate ever second of it. But once he makes it down, the Jon-a-Thon is precisely what he's best at.
I sadly don't think Dracula's library is extensive enough to allow him to access L-space.
I do think Rincewind would try to fight Dracula with a half-brick in a sock over the baby steal. Rincewind loves kids and gets occasional bouts of heroism in spite if himself. But the door is locked and he can't get out of his room.
I am fudging this a bit, but I do not believe the Lady will let him die if it can be avoided through sheer dumb luck. And so therefore Rincewind the Wizzard can survive Castle Dracula, but would vastly prefer not to have to
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Thought:
Vimes - Vetinaris terrier, no questions asked. Like fist on eye.
But then what the heck is Lipwig. Vetinaris racoon?
Sounds about right
@excelsian
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"Back during the pandemic" "when covid was still a thing"
Covid is killing over 1000 Americans each week. Covid is the 3rd leading cause of death in the US. Covid is still spreading and mutating. Only 16% of Americans have gotten their boosters in a "vaccine only" strategy to fight the disease (that doesn't work because vaccinated people can and do catch and spread covid). Covid is still a very real threat to you and those you love. Stop talking about it in the past tense. Stop living a lie. It's not 2019. You'll never live in a "post covid" world. Our wishes for "normal" have destroyed any chance of a true end to the pandemic unless we act. Mask up and stop the spread if you really want to past-tense covid.
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Hey so, ofmd and wwdits fandom, is anyone going to mention that Taika Waititi is supporting Israel? Anyone at all? Are we going to just ignore this is happening?
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apparently rhys darby is also a zionist 🙃
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suffice it to say i can never watch ofmd again without feeling like im going to throw up lol
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here's the fucking letter
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nothing about a ceasefire, nothing about the 5000 palestinians killed, almost 50% of whom are children, the carpet bombing, nothing about the 150,000 palestinians killed since 2008 out of which 30,000 were children, nothing about the surveillance, apartheid, dispossesion, racism, rape, murder and ethnic cleansing that the palestinians have been subjected to for decades by their beloved genocidal regime israel, also the FUCKING LIE ABOUT THE BEHEADED BABIES that even biden himself admitted that he hadn't actually seen which pretty much assures you that it's a lie because if there was such a thing you can be assured that it would be plastered 24/7 on cnn bbc because obviously war crimes committed by the hamas are somehow much more illegal than the war crimes committed by israel because the palestinians are inherently "HUMAN ANIMALS" and must be dealth with as such. they're basically saying "thank for giving israel full freedom to commit genocide and war crimes ❤️"
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suffice it to say i can never watch ofmd again without feeling like im going to throw up lol
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here's the fucking letter
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nothing about a ceasefire, nothing about the 5000 palestinians killed, almost 50% of whom are children, the carpet bombing, nothing about the 150,000 palestinians killed since 2008 out of which 30,000 were children, nothing about the surveillance, apartheid, dispossesion, racism, rape, murder and ethnic cleansing that the palestinians have been subjected to for decades by their beloved genocidal regime israel, also the FUCKING LIE ABOUT THE BEHEADED BABIES that even biden himself admitted that he hadn't actually seen which pretty much assures you that it's a lie because if there was such a thing you can be assured that it would be plastered 24/7 on cnn bbc because obviously war crimes committed by the hamas are somehow much more illegal than the war crimes committed by israel because the palestinians are inherently "HUMAN ANIMALS" and must be dealth with as such. they're basically saying "thank for giving israel full freedom to commit genocide and war crimes ❤️"
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going on the record to say that i dont think zheng actually killed steak knife, I think he was just immobilized <3
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Ask game - ever written amnesia fic?
Technically yes, but on my secondary account and also it was deliberate badfic so I'm not counting it.
I'm not super into the kind of hurt/comfort that often comes with amnesia fic. I do like a bit of emotional whump but more the kind where people remember what they've done and mmm yes wallow in your guilt some more :D
Which brings me to 'how would I write amnesia fic?' and:
One party deliberately causes the amnesia because they think it's for the best and mmm wallow in your guilt and bad decision-making, 10/10. I suppose this is kinda similar to 'make them forget we've ever met' for the same kind of guilt wallowing and one party knowing more than the other. For OFMD, maybe Stede goes 'oh no I ruined Blackbeard, I will visit a sea witch to make him forget we ever met' because we can fit so much self-loathing into this sad dog of a man!
The dumb comedy take where one party fakes amnesia and hijinx ensue but also they feel kinda bad. For OFMD, I read one fic prompt for s1e4 where Stede wakes up and Ed convinces Stede he has amnesia because Stede has forgotten about the two of them! And that idea is great, because you get tactician Ed going 'obviously I can trick this rich guy into thinking we were together before I steal all his stuff' and Stede panicking and trying to be a good boyfriend and Ed falling in love while feeling bad. Alternatively, Ed fakes amnesia in s2 after everything he did because hey, what better way to restart?? :) This is a very healthy and sensible plan!! Which is less comedy hijinx and more 'Oh Ed :('
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ah, wait a sec. I've pinpoint the specific fandom trauma.
The suicidal character learning to go on, living to protect his family, growing comfortable in his skin, finding the joys he's denied himself for so long, beginning to exist outside of the relationship he's defined himself by his entire life.
The fear that all will be spat on, that he'll die for the person he always revolved his life around, that he always thought he'd die for, and it will be called his Good Ending.
I take you gently by the hands. It's okay. This isn't Dean Winchester.
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Ngl still feel weird and need answers and justice for Fang's dog
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Pathetic NekoMEN: BlackPurrr, Stede Pawnet and Moewzzy Hand from Our Flag Means Death
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my ofmd stizzy fic is here!! 5k, rated E :) check it out!
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my unpopular opinion is that i’m not really bothered that actors cannot talk about their shows rn
i mean i feel bad for them that they cannot do anything if they want to, and that they are stuck in uninteresting conversations for cons etc. of course, most of all that they are in a strike that affects their ability to work and projects that they might be excited for etc etc. like absolutely don't get me wrong i support the strike and i hope it ends soon with an amazing deal
but i also think it's refreshing in a way. like fandom is so obsessed with the cast these days, which i definitely get. but like. those people are not our friends, shouldn't be on pedestals and imo don't really belong in fan spaces.
and i also think it's unfair to actors that they are expected to do promo or be online at all. i'm sure it's fun to some degree, but also the amount of actors who leave or partly leave social media after gaining popularity tells us something.
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WTF why did I take so long to realize that stede and Ed’s colors are reverted this fateful day (stede seemingly in black and Ed in light blue)
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Joel Fry as Frenchie
finally getting around to posting some art so here's something that started as a pose study and got out of hand. trying to learn both consistency in depicting a person as recognizably themselves and variety in terms of stylization and levels of detail. there's another study already in progress (an excellent excuse to stare intensely at pictures of Joel Fry)
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