oysters-aint-for-me - Tumblr blog

[oysters-aint-for-me]

the cashier at barnes & noble just gave me this duck at checkout and they said “i give these to children and people with a certain vibe.”

floored to know something about me aligns with this duck

[oysters-aint-for-me]

English added by me :)

[oysters-aint-for-me]

Please does anybody have the picture of the orange kitten sitting in front of old yellowed wood paneling and it’s smiling like this. The post where I saw it went something like “little kids before they learn how to smile in photos”

[oysters-aint-for-me]

I love when dogs and cats just let you pat the shit out of them and they enjoy it so much. Like yeah dude real quick I just need to play you like a bongo and they’re like god yes I’ve been waiting for someone to play me like a bongo

[oysters-aint-for-me]

Just a dandy boy 🌻

[oysters-aint-for-me]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

funniest character dynamic in the world to me is when you have one guy knows hes gay but doesnt realise hes in love with his best friend and another guy who knows hes in love with his best friend but does not know hes gay

[oysters-aint-for-me]

Lmao at this lesbian cable worker who said this right in front of Dick Cheney when fixing his internet. What a hero.

[oysters-aint-for-me]

What's the trope name for when someone finds out they're the Chosen One(tm) and is like "No, thank you" and goes and does something else

[oysters-aint-for-me]

In an era where our daily lives are increasingly plagued by Gadgets, Gizmos, and Devices, the humble garbage disposal represents one of the last true Contraptions. You're telling me I have a forbidden switch next to the kitchen light that turns on a noisy spinning vegetable shredder underneath the sink? What is this chitty chitty bang bang ass invention?

[oysters-aint-for-me]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

[oysters-aint-for-me]

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

[oysters-aint-for-me]

NGK

when you quietly browse IMDB and then you find this:

Oh I love every little detail in this picture

[oysters-aint-for-me]

last night i had a terrible dream that someone had gone onto a wikipedia page i had edited and reverted all my edits, and on the talk page they were saying stuff like "Yeah [user] is always making edits to things they don't know anything about, citing unreliable sources" and a bunch of people were agreeing with them! so i went to the journal I had gotten the citation from and the article I had cited looked like an actual article but the rest of the journal's content was cartoon fetish art about human women being pregnant with crabs instead of human babies

[oysters-aint-for-me]

The four stages of becoming a birder:

🪹Nestling Phase: You start with a casual interest, peeking out of your cozy comfort zone to notice the birds around you.

🐤Fledgling Feats: You spread your wings, equipped with binoculars and guidebooks, ready to explore new habitats and spot diverse species.

🐦‍⬛Perching Proficiency: Your skills sharpen as you learn to identify birds by their calls, habits, and plumage, and feel a sense of accomplishment with each new sighting.

🦅Masterful Migration: Finally, you soar confidently, traversing landscapes near and far, sharing your passion with others. In the end, the true joy of birding lies in the journey itself—every chirp, flutter, and waddle along the way.

Happy National Go Birding Day!

[oysters-aint-for-me]

Thank you to @sleepnoises for making the original poll & for giving us the idea to to this :)

Sorry if we couldn’t get your favorite on here, we were limited to only 12 options (11 if you don’t include the “other” option).