ozzy-in-the-void

[ozzy-in-the-void]

How come every time i think ive hit rock bottom, theres a fucking layer underneath, im struggling so fucking much

[ozzy-in-the-void]

I love you so much, and im sorry

[ozzy-in-the-void]

Sorry for not posting in months, every single day seems to be worse than the last and im on the verge of suicide

I watched my dad die (he was able to he resuscitated, but spent a month in hospital) during that month, i barely ate or slept, kept passing out and my legs kept just not working for hours at a time, my step mum shouted at me daily for not doing enough to clean my dads house even tho I was literally spending 24 hours a day cleaning it, and spending over 600 quid on the house and my brother, because of that my disabilitys have gotten significantly worse. I had to tell social services about my step mum, then because of that sarah had to find out because social services wanted her contact info. When i came back to college, some random drunk guy in town groped me to 'see if I was a girl or a boy', every damn day at work has been so goddamn shit, ive had to pick up more shifts at work to the point my body is giving up on me because social services are helping me move out in a few months but its insanely expensive and because im 17 im not entitled to housing benefits, my step mum found out im trying to move out and shes treating me worse than she has maybe ever, last night i was up most the night because people at college were spreading rumours id been kicked out and obviously i needed to set the record straight, even tho i had to wake up early for work. Every day im scared im gonna wake up to find out my dad died because he needs a liver transplant but he has to be totally sober for 6 months solid.

[ozzy-in-the-void]

Yall remember that god awful cough i had almost 2 years ago? Yeah well... I was at work yesterday and i had at least 5 different people telling me i should go tell the manager i need to go home lmao, i am not feeling good at all

[ozzy-in-the-void]

Guys in the space of 6 months ive gone from being a virgin to sitting outside whetherspoons, guy on one side, girl on the other both snuggled up to me begging me to fuck them wtf

[ozzy-in-the-void]

A tens machine is the greatest device known to man my god it really just goes like bvrrrrr then actually helps my pain?? It literally helps more than overdosing on cocodamol and alcohol???

[ozzy-in-the-void]

I feel so so ill, im crying so much i just want a hug, everything hurts so much.

[ozzy-in-the-void]

I have to fight tooth and nail for a better future. I just have to

[ozzy-in-the-void]

Heaven help us by my chemical romance goes harder than any song has ever hit

[ozzy-in-the-void]

I wish i could just move out, go no contact

[ozzy-in-the-void]

Back at college after half term, god it's so nice to be somewhere i actually feel like im worth the space i take up

[ozzy-in-the-void]

Partner has been ignoring me for more than a day, why tf they think im gonna chase after someone i met irl twice, and have been dating just over a month idk. Said it time and time again, i dont need anyone, im not chasing none of yall.

[ozzy-in-the-void]

Last posts emotion lasted an hour before the chronic pain made me remember why i hate this world and everything in it

[ozzy-in-the-void]

Hung out with 2 of my best mates, no longer going to kill myself u guys

[ozzy-in-the-void]

When hanging yourself, you shouldnt just do the typical kicking the chair under you. That way, youll be left suffocating and in so much pain and fear until you die. Instead, what you want to do, is get up somewhere and jump down, that way when you get caught by the rope, itll snap your neck and you'll die near instantly.

[ozzy-in-the-void]

I have a plan, i just need to figure out a location, buy the supplies then I'm fucking gone. Im done, im so fucking done.

[ozzy-in-the-void]

You know your life is rough when even the psychiatrist bot on character ai agrees its not gonna get better and they don't see the point in trying either