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#this is fucking disgusting#i still remember a day my dad stood there staring at me with a straight face while I screamed at him to go away#and he said he was MAKING A POINT#BECAUSE I DIDNT CLOSE THE DOOR#STFU#I forgot and no one was home a minute ago#i was fucking furious and he didn't understand why it was weird and gross#or he did which was more disgusting but it was all just so fucking cringe#if my father ever did this I think I'd punch him#if I didn't have to wipe myself I would've lunged at the prick but I was frozen as I held my shirt over myself
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#part of me is glad she moved on but how do people do it#i know I didn't love her the way I thought I did.. or maybe she wasn't who I thought she was... I chose to walk away because I deserved#better.. and yet the thought of her moving on so easily is causing discomfort in my chest. or maybe it's easier to say this is why my heart#aches#the truth isn't always as easy to talk about#or maybe it's the person I thought didn't give a shit about me coming around admitting to feelings are still present?? bro I didn't know#you did in the first place
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Me: I'm not getting into the work drama
Coworkers: BUT!
Me: no
*gets disrespected over and over again, witnessed a human we work with treat my coworkers like shit and try getting them in trouble. Constantly belittling everyone and talking shit to our manager... but is nice to me sometimes or at least apologized 10 percent of the time that she's a bitch*
My traumatized ass: It's not that bad.. I still see this human has good in her.. I probably deserve this. Obviously I'm doing wrong. She likes me more than anyone else so maybe I can just take it and stay on her good side.
Coworkers: BUT.....
Me: no...
HUMAN: fhjfkskidfhsiid!!!! *yelling, gaslighting and backpeddaling none stop for over a week.. causing problems with everyone* jdjfjskdkfjsidk!! <more yelling
Me: well.. I now see what everyone else does... but no, it's not my shit.
*has a new employee with disabilities come in and get treated like he's dumb*
Me: THIS BITCH WANTS TO THROW HANDS.
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There's something really heartbreaking about looking at old pictures and seeing the slow progression of losing yourself. Watching the light fade from your eyes, and realizing you've fuckn lost yourself and you have no clue who you are right this moment. And you're only losing yourself more with every passing day.
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Clementine Von Radics, from In A Dream You Saw A Way To Survive; “You are on the floor crying”
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