pandagirl0730

[pandagirl0730]

I mean I know a certain level of projection on fictional characters and situations is inevitable and even healthy, but sometimes you got to step back into the real world to remind yourself that Character X is not your shitty parent/abusive ex/asshole boss/bully from high school, and that people who like Character X are not personally victimizing you.

[pandagirl0730]

tumblr is such a different animal than other social media platforms for so many reasons obviously but one thing i really find funny about it is how on other sites if i see something that doesn't interest me i don't follow or don't like the post. but on here if someone i follow starts posting exclusively about something really niche that i have no interest in my reaction is never to unfollow. its just part of the natural environment. like oh mutual is now really into pro wrestling? ok i guess ill be seeing these guys around now

[pandagirl0730]

Evan “Buck” Buckley.

1.07 // 2.07 // 3.07 // 4.07 // 5.07 // 6.07 // 7.07 // 8.07

[pandagirl0730]

Buck going from an annoying wannabe frat boy in season 1 to a bisexual, borderline socially inept sweetie who stress bakes and wears aprons and whose biggest problem is that he just loves people too damn much is SO IMPORTANT to me

[pandagirl0730]

[pandagirl0730]

I'm appalled. they crushed that fucking baby appalled im now realizing this is more gorey than I anticipated. tw

[pandagirl0730]

so my family went to the tulip fields and my little sister didn’t have a good time at all

[pandagirl0730]

I find it incredibly funny from a meta/author perspective, that Ancient Greece decided to name their protagonist that angers many people “Anger Bringer” but, even funnier, is the in universe understating that anyone who meets Odysseus must have had the thought “oh dear, how unfortunate to be named hateful/hated” and then they have exactly One conversation with him and go “Ah I see now”

For reference, Odysseus’ name sounds very much like the Greek word odussomai, which can roughly mean “I am angry at” or “I am the cause of anger” (or simply “to hate” or “to dismiss”), a fact that is used for ironic effect frequently in the Odyssey.

It’s also specifically stated in Book 19 that Odysseus’ grandfather, a master thief and one who has also pissed off a lot of people, specifically named him this because “I am disliked by many, all across the world, and I dislike them back. So name the child Odysseus.” 19.428

Bro looked at his grandson and thought “Ahaha, this one’s going to be a troublemaker like me. Better get him started early.”

It’s like a terrible allegory for cause and effect or something.

[pandagirl0730]

Bruce, High on pain killers: I hate to tell you this, but one of you is adopted

The Batfam: …

Dick: .. only one?

[pandagirl0730]

Jason and Dick falling back into being brothers after Jason gets resurrected except both of them keep forgetting that although Dick is still older, Jason is now very much not a small little Robin anymore.

Dick, pointing to an ugly old guy on TV: that’s you

Jason, gesturing to a pug: that’s you

Dick: *flicks the side of Jason’s head*

Jason: do that again and i’ll smash your face in

Dick: bring it on, little wing!

Jason: *jokily shoves Dick off the couch*

Dick: *flies two feet and smashes through a glass table*

Tim and Damian watch Dick try and sneak up on Jason from behind to shove him in the pool but Jason doesn’t even budge, and they see Dick’s eyes widen in regret before he gets judo-flipped into the water. Jason tries to jump in after but forgets how big he is and manages to both land directly on Dick’s flailing body and cause a wave big enough to drench Alfred standing at the other edge. Damian turns dead eyes onto Tim,

Damian: promise me we’ll never be that immature.

Tim: we can learn from their stupidity

Alfred, dripping onto the tiles, Jason and Dick struggling in the background: please see that you do.

[pandagirl0730]

Jason, freshly adopted from the streets. Still freaked out, wondering downstairs for breakfast.

Kid!Tim, munching on cereal: hi!

Jason: who are you?

Tim, wiping his hands clumsily on his pants and sticking it out for Jason to shake: Timothy Jackson Drake. Pleased to meet you!

Jason, shakes nervously before looking around: ah. Yeah. Jason.

Tim, seriously, eyes wide and innocent: did he steal you too?

Jason: What?

Tim: Did Batman steal you too?

[pandagirl0730]

Bruce: So, the CEO of United Healthcare was shot and killed

Jason: What? Why's everyone looking at me?

Bruce: Did you do it?

Jason: WHAT? Do you really think I would do something like that?

Dick: Yes

Tim: Yes

Damian: Yes

Steph: Yes

Cass: Yess

Jason: ....without telling everyone? If that was me I would be shouting it from the rooftops.

Bruce: Just tell me if you killed the CEO or not

Jason: Bitch I'll kill a CEO right now if you don't start acting right.

[pandagirl0730]

Duke spent all his childhood and most of his teenage years in a middle class family, so I like to think that he carried these habits into his rich life as well.

Example 1:

Duke: who the fuck is wasting our water? Do you know how expensive the bill will be next month?

Tim: Do you know that even if we had opened all the taps in the manor, Bruce would still have no problem paying for them for at least the next ninety years?

Duke, closing the faucet: yeah, what's your point?

Example 2:

Duke: It's literally a rip-off! Six dollars for a fucking yogourt?! Nah, let's go Cass, bet I can find an analog for three.

Cass, handing him the hundred dollar bill that Bruce gave them to buy two yogourts (he didn't know the price and just hoped that it was enough): ?

Duke, dragging her out of the store: It's a principle now, let's go.

Example 3:

Dick, accidentally dropping his phone: oopsie-

Duke, without thinking: of course, go on and break it. We are all billionaires here, aren't we?

Dick, pretty much confused: well, technically…

Duke: I see you, victim of capitalism.

He also constantly turns off the lights when someone leaves the room for more than 0,5 seconds, because it pisses him off.

[pandagirl0730]

people don't talk enough about how fucking funny it is that bruce can sub in his kids as batman when he's too busy. like can you imagine it from the league's perspective? imagine you have this really mysterious, geniusly scary guy that you know next to nothing about, never cracks a smile and yet always comes out on top, and one day he shows up to a league meeting and there's just something... off. about him.

you can't pin it down because he's literally acting exactly the same as usual and there's no reason to think there's anything wrong, but maybe he shifted in his seat one to many times, or he looked just a tad bit too bored during green lantern's case review, but something's just... odd. so you quietly ask superman after the meeting if anything's up with the bat bcs you know those two are closer and also clark can hear heartbeats so if something's wrong surely he'll pick it up? and without hesitation he leans over to you and mumbles 'yeah batman was busy, that's his 17 yr old son. he's a crime lord and kills people sometimes though so we're not allowed to let him into the weapons department.' and then walks away like it's normal.

like the whiplash the league must go through every time they realise that no, this is not their fearless dark and brooding leader, this is in fact one of his dipshit kids being forced to sub in bcs the real batman broke an ankle, is incredible.

wonder woman: so that's my proposed plan, what are your thoughts batman?

batman: hn. i think that- *voice raising two octaves* oh shit hold on my phones buzzing

the league:

batman, answering the phone and immediately dropping the Bat Posture™: what do you mean- aw come on little wing that's not fair! but- no, NO DON'T YOU DARE TELL ALFRED I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU- IM SORRY OK I'LL BUY YOU MORE- *catches sight of the league watching him, baffled* *stiffens* ok listen i promise to replace them but i gotta go, please show me mercy iloveyoubye *hangs up*

the league:

batman:

batman: *coughs awkwardly*

superman: *sighs*

batman, to superman: ...red hood found out i ate his chocolate pretzels-

superman, shaking his head: just... just stop.

the flash: so this isn't batman either, is it?

wonder woman: if this one's also a criminal im losing my mind.

superman, tiredly: no no, this one isn't a criminal. this one's actually a cop.

batman: *sinks down in his seat* b's gonna kill me

green lantern, mystified: where does he keep GETTING you all from!?

'batman' dick, who made a pact with jason to Always Fuck With Bruce Whenever The Opportunity Arises: batman is a whore.

they think they've finally sussed out all 2 of batman's kids and then one day during a meeting 'batman' ends up on a 30 minute rant about different hacking methods this tech villain could be using that results in him half way through a sentence breaking off to say '-oh uncle clark could you pass me that pen- thanks, anyway so-' and then five minutes after that when the league have all been exchanging incredulous looks he finally freezes and is like. SHIT.

wonder woman: you're different from the other two, aren't you?

batman: maybe i am maybe i'm not, you can't prove it.

wonder woman:

green lantern: so like, are you new or have you just managed to avoid sub duty up until now?

superman, coughing: actually, this is this ones ninth occasion of replacing batman. you've just never realised before.

the league:

batman: yeah actually the other two are kinda mad i lasted longer than them...

the flash: how the fuck does he keep getting kids with the exact same build as him!??!?

'batman' tim, spent 20 minutes padding the suit out so he would look the part, still mad that bruce keeps palming WE work off on him: oh he forces us to take steroids for it.

the league, concerned:

superman, pinching the bridge of his nose: now come on red robin-

batman, fully tearing up and looking distraught: PLEASE uncle clark, it HURTS, you can't keep COVERING FOR HIM!

superman, frantically to the league: this one lies.

bonus

the league, squinting at batman:

the league: ...

superman: *head in his hands, too disappointed to do anything*

the league: *silently exchanging looks, wondering if anybody's brave enough to say anything*

duke as batman, fully aware this is fucking stupid but jason and tim fell on the floor laughing when dick came up with the idea and frankly, he wanted to see if anybody would have to guts to call him out: so, are we all ready to start the meeting?

[pandagirl0730]

[pandagirl0730]

"Robin brings light to the darkness" or something

[pandagirl0730]

But make them techno punk