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pandakins-blog · 12 years

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Temporarily Astray

From the path I tread in hand,

Alone, my legs walking are like lead,

My mind spins around like a hurricane

My heart never forgets the stabbing pain.

I search so desperately for what it was

That made my Soul jump so gleefully.

What was the cause?

Now that there is only empty space… I think painfully.

I was temporarily astray,

But when I knew it was you,

I knew everything was okay…

…Only if I knew…

That you’d leave on that journey,

Keeping me unawares of anything.

I thought you’d be part of my story, our story.

But now, it’s blank, the pages empty, just nothing.

I realize that I really don’t need you,

I can smile and see the sunshine,

I know I can be okay, alone too,

And finally, I know even without you, it will be fine.

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pandakins-blog · 12 years

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I used to think that when you immediately find one person that changes your life, they're the one... unfortunately. Life comes and slaps you on the face, you curse it with all your might and you laugh... laugh that maniacal laughter that fills the void of your thoughts with the anger swelling up inside your being. Apparently, life is happy, but also cruel. Sometimes you meet people that are scre wed up themselves, and sometimes you have to be hard in order to take the crap being thrown at your face. No... I didn't make right choices in my life, I screwed up sometimes and I had crappy friends who betrayed meh or hurt meh at one time or another. Hah, well, the spiritual path is hard enough, so what do I do now? Trudge on and see what is at the end. At the moment though, I am so glad that I had to go through screwed up people and make crappy choices because without them, I wouldn't have known how to be the person I am today and I would have great people come my way.

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pandakins-blog · 12 years

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Look.

Look at you, now happy with your boyfriend and basically telling him the same kind of promises you have told meh. But that is okay, you know why, I have moved on and I have also found someone that is beyond amazing. :) Continue making your promises to your boyfriend and be happy and I will do so to my amazing girlfriend. I love her and I am sincere. I hope you are to him too. I know how insecure you can be and I am at least glad he can stand up to that. So, I say this now, any time, your relationship could either be built strongly or get destroyed completely. I mean, look at what happened to us, bhest, we THOUGHT we would stay together, but apparently I caused it to go downhill and I am sorry for that. But anyways, we are on our separate ways and we have our own loves. So, may happiness rule over you.

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pandakins-blog · 12 years

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Relationship and love. The "ultimate" mystery...

I am starting to think that being in a relationship nowadays is because to either make oneself "complete" by having another person to be there and hold. Sure, we need contact, but we do not NEED to be complete by having another person there. Relationships, if ideal are supposed to be supportive and driven to be able to attain the highest possible happiness together. Meaning, to reach God together

and individually. Respect the relationship is ever in one, and to cherish the moments. Not by physicality, but by loving. Call meh old fashioned but to meh this is key. Hah, I know I screwed up in my first one, but I am realizing things I never did. We should never think that the situation will be okay because anything can happen. So live in the moment, happy and prepared. We could try to not be driven too far into a relationship with someone because heartbreak is a pain when it happens. And we slowly depend on that person rather than our own important priorities. They are only an addition. And they will not be until you are fully committed, i.e, marriage. There is no such thing as a serious relationship unless God is in there. there will be disagreements, but seriously... Who provided the ability to even love? God. And in a sense, we are loving God by loving another person, so why not start loving God first? Or meeting someone that will love God first than yourself?

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pandakins-blog · 12 years

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