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I think one of the best and unintentionally funniest worldbuilding aspects in Star Wars is the reasoning of why did Bail and Breha adopt Leia instead of having their own children. Leia is first established as the princess of Alderaan before she is written to be Luke's sister. So now we need to figure out how she got to Alderaan. She was adopted because she needed to be hidden and separated from her brother. Bail was placed there to be one of the only people who knew so there would be a reason why it was them who got her. They specifically wanted a daughter. Why? Because Alderaan is a matriarchal society, so they needed a princess. Why didn't the Queen and her husband have biological children? Because they can't. Why? Because the Queen can't have kids. Why? Because she got injured as a teenager and got her internal organs replaced and her body can't handle a pregnancy. How did she get injured so badly? She fell off of a mountain. How did that happen? She was climbing it. Why was the future Queen climbing a mountain in the first place? Because she needed to go through three challenges in order to inherit the throne and one of them required her to go through something physically impressive. Why? Because before that they just held a Battle Royale for all the heirs and the one left alive got the throne and they at some point figured out that maybe they shouldn't be doing that, actually. Oh, okay.

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Text:

Jon: you ever get so tired you start seeing spiders?

Sasha: Me when I take 17 Benadryl and start seeing the man with all the bones in his hands

Jon: THE WHO!?!

Sasha: this is not a safe place suddenly

Because Sasha and Jon are both unhinged individuals and there’s a 0% chance something like this didn’t happen at some point

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This is so fucking funny. Late 90's early 00's syndicated scifi was great.

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M*A*S*H + text posts and stuff

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Reblog with the star wars character(s) based on your last meal or snack

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you don't get it bro. there's this song called we are the champions. adrenaline music. hypes you up kinda music. gets me in a frenzy. he says we're the champions of the world. the world dude

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frodo in Valinor be like

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Clone Wars in chronological order

Note: I got this order from the Star Wars website

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I watched all of Atlantis twice before watching Sg1 and this is arguably the funniest and most interesting order to watch things in. One of the first things I noticed is that the Pegasus Galaxy is so much more unhinged than our galaxy.

Sg1 goes to make an alliance with the Tokra and they're like "we shall now convene the council and debate for the next several hours the possibility of an alliance in this great war." And then there's Atlantis trying to make alliances and everyone they talk to is just like "we made nuclear bombs!", "we cobbled together a hyperdrive out of parts we scavenged or bartered for. It occasionally lights on fire and there's a small amount of deadly radiation, but it's super fast!", and "I won't talk to you unless you let me eat someone."

The Goa'uld would not last a day in pegasus. They would rock up to the galaxy and try to do their whole we are gods thing and the Satedans would just be standing there, covered in blood, surrounded by the mutilated bodies of wraith, going, "Really? Cause we carved out the internal organs of the last guy who said that."

Hell, if the wraith met the Goa'uld they would think it's great, because, "Wow! Human and symbiote! That's two life forces to eat! A two for one deal!" In a Wraith vs Goa'uld fight the wraith would win. The Goa'uld wouldn't stand a chance.

Atlantis commits more war crimes in their first year than sg1 does in a decade. And it's not just that. The sgc as a whole is so orderly and clean. They wear their uniforms. They're semi-well trained. They're military. The Atlantis crew is so much messier. Their hair is disheveled and their uniforms wrinkled. They're sleep deprived and drenched in sweat. They're running on massive amounts of caffeine and need so much therapy. Atlantis and Pegasus in general is just so much more bloody and dirty. Their hands are soaked in blood, their face is covered in mud and they're getting up for another round.

In short, I love sg1 so far but there is something so raw and desperate about Atlantis that is so fascinating.

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Yeah, I’d watch Muppets Lord of the Rings

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i think i've said this before but when i first listened to the magnus archives i was descending into madness because my boss (a genomics professor) had loaned me out to a limnology professor for several weeks to work alone in a lab in the basement sorting tens of thousands of tiny macroinvertebrates out of stream samples, one square inch at a time.

for seven hours a day i listened to the magnus archives almost nonstop, staring through a dissecting scope.

i was also dealing with a nightmare living situation & a stalker so i had temporarily moved into a tent in a national forest. so you can imagine the headspace i was in.

my reprieve that kept me going was an upcoming trip to Cornwall to visit my best friends there.

as we were planning our agenda during my lunch break one day, I was temporarily so detached from reality that I opened my mouth to suggest that when I fly into London, we check out the Magnus Institute.

It's funny now but I was so alarmed by this that I took off two days of work to lie on the ground in the woods outside my tent and recalibrate. I thought perhaps that 48 hours without basement insects would help me. However, I kept listening to the Magnus Archives

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I like to think about what if the Kaminoans just, fucked all the way up and made the clones telepaths on purpose.

Kamino is in the Rishi maze, the equivalent of total buttfuck nowhere. This is like a cattle processing plant in rural Montana manufacturing an order for Shenzhen as outlined by a third party intermediary from Monaco who keeps contact with neither production nor “client” and nobody’s first language is Basic. Jedi are like, totally psychic right? Right. Psychic army for psychic clients, sounds right, checks out. There are whole ass telepathic alien species out there, some of which are also Jedi. Why would they want NON-psychic clones. Get it done, Tally Ho or Nala Says or whatever her name is. Chop chop.

Cue like seven years into production and the Kaminoan project leads are starting to get some… inklings…. that maybe some of the deliverable specs were perhaps not so much well-researched as based off cross-galactic hearsay some underpaid analysts pulled off space reddit. This is a business, okay? You’re not gonna make profit manufacturing two million units of fucking anything if you treat it like a luxury product, but especially not if the product has goddamn childhood development & socialization needs. Of fucking course some shit maybe slipped through the cracks. What are we supposed to fucking do now, Lama goddamn Sue sir, tell the Jedi or the pickled fucking Sith that oopsie woopsie, we got the specs wrong half a decade in and have to start over again?

No. No we are not. We are going to lie our fucking semi-aquatic asses off, is what we’re gonna do, and so will you clones if you know what’s good for you. NONE of you are fucking psychic, and you never were. Got that? Understood?

Fast forward to Jedi pickup D-Day and every time anyone with a lightsaber gets within aural biosystem of choice distance the clones immediately start loudly and dutifully Having Conversations.

Hello Commander Sir, It Is I, Trooper McSoldierClone, What A Weather It Is Today, Ha Ha? Over. Yes Indeed McTrooper One Two Three Four, I Am Agree, Now Here Is An Order To Follow Which I Am Vociferously Giving You, Acknowledge Orally, Over. Every clone making rock-hard sweating eye contact like don’t fuck it up as they mentally chant encouragement and script notes and jeering performance feedback at each other. Cadets trooping to fucking speech practice to learn speaking out loud with all the enthusiasm and skill of the average white suburban Floridian teenager taking their fifth mandatory Spanish 1 class. The jedi are like damn these poor asylum grown freaks are so unsocialized and uncomfortable around us, Their Owners, this is so tragic and horrid and unfortunate and meanwhile every clone standing silently in formation is mentally spectating the 400-person telepathic tetris team sport they invented with the same vibes as a football world cup back alley street party complete with official & unofficial betting pools and expert panel commentary

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There's something I need this fandom to understand about Martin Kartin Blackwood.

IS he an expert manipulator? Yes. Does he have some serious skills in using people pleasing and framing and psychology to his advantage? ABSOLUTELY. He is gaslight, gatekeep, girlbossing his way through the first 3 seasons and we LOVE him for it.

On the other hand, though, I feel like we don't acknowledge enough as a fandom how isolating people pleasing can be in itself. I ranted about this in the tags of another Martin post, but basically, the person you create to be palatable to as many people as possible becomes a wall. A barrier between you and the outside world. Yes, everyone likes you, but that comes at the cost of no one knowing you in your entirety because you don't let them see the parts of you that are harder to swallow.

Martin effectively trapped himself in his own web of lies, suspended 30 feet away from his own life. He's dissociated from it all from the beginning, which is what made him the candidate Peter chose in the first place. He was always slated for The Lonely as much as he was The Web.

That leads me into my next point, which is that MARTIN PRE-LONELY WAS NOT ENTIRELY DISINGENUOUS. I see so many people implying that Martin straight-up wasn't anything like he said he was in the beginning. Common fandom reading comprehension L. He really does like people, and he really does want to be nice. It just also happens that you don't end up people pleasing to those lengths without it having developed as a defense mechanism!

Take the wall I introduced earlier. You surround yourself in this persona and swallow your teeth to protect yourself from other people. Realistically, it probably started with his mother, who is implied in Canon to not have been kind to him. There's a 3rd partner to Fight or Flight that doesn't get discussed very often, and it is "Fawn." This is the people-pleasing response that we see him exhibit. Ultimately, what he fears is rejection, and therefore, he fears being alone. He's nice and kind and polite and swallows his teeth in order to keep people around.

Post-Lonely Martin is the other extreme. He has no energy to please anyone anymore, and it doesn't serve him. He is tired and angry and constantly stressed. He doesn't bother hiding his teeth anymore, and he's prone to lashing out. Post-Lonely Martin is when he's surpassed his limit. Post-Lonely Martin is burnout.

As someone who relates to Martin Blackwood very much, I can tell you that the quiet moments where he's not deeply distressed either way is where we see the real Martin. He still loves and cares in private, and we see that over and over. The love is real. He just doesn't believe he deserves it in return, so he tries very hard to be someone who does. To "make up" for it.

Thank you and goodnight.

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i'm so suggestible and convinced i'm easy to read that if i was a celebrity reading rpf about myself i'd just be like wow....maybe i AM irrevocably in love with my co-star ...?

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Martin Killbill Blackwood my beloved

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guy who says "im getting real into the color green lately"