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everyone start having unethical fantasies about me NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Don’t flirt with me. I’ll fall in love with you like a starving dog you fed scraps to.
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I’m sorry I dehumanized you and talked to you in that voice owners use on their dogs. That wasn’t nice for you, was it? No? Nooo, you didn’t like that did you? Aw I’m sorry I didn’t mean to belittle you and put you beneath me like you’re a dog. I’ll do better, okay?
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Heaven must be missing an angel, because she's here with me humping my boot. She's pressing her face into my thigh, weaving her little fingers into the material of my pants. Holding on for dear life. Whining, begging with her big wet doe eyes. Gazing up at me in such complete and utter adoration, the likeness borders on that I have only seen in the most pious of church dogs.
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someone asking “is this actually turning you on?” in the most condescending tone possible is my kink
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we need to normalize men sending thigh/lap pics. i wanna see what im supposed to be sitting on! 
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