paradigm-of-total-control

[paradigm-of-total-control]

If I showed Napoleon what a fantasy football league was, he'd probably turn my team of scrubs into champions in 6 weeks. Waiver wire king. Trades would be insane. He'd get bored with that and move onto daily fantasy. Next thing I know he is deeply involved in a fantasy baseball team. I catch him watching Moneyball, he wants to know more about "sabermetrics". He starts sneaking out - he's in the "war room" with 11 other dudes. It's another live draft, he is managing 4 teams at once.

"Babe I need this," he says waving his arm at the dry erase board, "I have first pick. I'm taking Ohtani."

I've introduced him to the modern battlefield. He is cheating on me with sports analytics. Nothing can be hotter.

And I dunno, he might have fun bowling too sometimes. So that would be cool.

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