paradisestarfishh
paradisestarfishh
St☆r
1K posts
~⁠(⁠つ⁠ˆ⁠Д⁠ˆ⁠)⁠つ⁠。⁠☆ 21 - Free Humanity 🤍 - New to writing pls don't judge lol - Masterlist coming soon sorry (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
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paradisestarfishh · 11 hours ago
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Can people understand that’s i’m like them I don’t get donations and not the one who make people donate…
Sometimes I feel I’m going crazy because of what’s happening and overthinking stressing about my brother and my responsibilities
Every time i say i want to stop sharing and helping i go back and a lot of scammers even people of gaza some of them are scamming and do more than one campaign.
I’m sorry for anyone I didn’t respond to and shared i have been doing that for one year
I’m not good at speaking and speak out how i feel and what i think.
Tumblr is a family for me .. I still need your help for my brother because isarel weaponized hunger against the people of gaza you need fortune to buy some food like canned food if you found it and there’s no flour.
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paradisestarfishh · 11 hours ago
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paradisestarfishh · 15 hours ago
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DADDY WILL KISS (fuck!) IT ALL BETTER!
pairing: ex-best friend’s dad!sukuna x bitter!reader content tags/warnings: smut! minors dni, cheating (reader gets cheated on by her boyfriend), age gap- reader is in her early 20’s and sukuna is in his late 30’s/early 40’s, sukuna is uraume’s bio dad, uraume’s a shithead in this- oops, taboo, cunnilingus, overstimulation, praise, light degradation (just sukuna calling the reader brat and a history of him being an ass), female reader, piv sex, rough, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it, kiddos!), dilf!kuna, size kink/difference, huge cock, daddy use/daddy kink, choking, hair-pulling, thumb sucking/biting, light dumbification, sukuna gets fuckin pussydrunkkkkksummary: after you make a surprise visit to your boyfriend, hakari's, apartment, you catch him balls deep inside your best friend, uraume, and leave before they catch you. later on, you decide to confront uraume, only to end up disappointed when only sukuna is home, and uraume is still off, busy fucking your boyfriend. but it’s fine. uraume can have your boyfriend. you’ll just have to keep yourself busy getting stuffed by their dad instead!author’s note: i always see dilf!nanami with yuji and dilf!toji with megumi and this that and the other thing…  but how about dilf!sukuna with uraume? under-represented! so, as a thank you for so much love on my last sukuna work… instead of great dad sukuna, here’s a nice one shot of sukuna being a… well, not so great dad, kinda, haha. but hey! barely anything else matters (in fiction!!!) when there’s cock to be had, yeah? anyways, enjoy!!! word count: 4k words
—————
to say you were angry was an understatement. you were seething. you were pissed. your fists were shaking so violently as you slammed your car door shut and marched up to your ex-best friend’s front door, that it was a highly possibility the next thing you touch might cause a whole fucking earthquake from how strong the vibrations of your rage were. it was too much for you. it was too much to feel so suddenly. too much time wasted on a little boy who couldn’t appreciate you. too much time wasted on a nobody.
and to make matters worst? it was with your best friend.
you never thought uraume would betray you so deeply, much less with your boyfriend. the two of you had been through thick and thin together. friends since childhood.
well, until you stopped by your boyfriend’s apartment to drop off soup and medicine for him since he’d cancelled your date night because he was “sick”... only to see uraume’s car in the lot… and then hear your boyfriend balls-deep inside uraume, very clearly not sick like he’d claimed he was.
they didn’t know you saw them. you didn’t say a word. you just left. and cried. for hours. and then you’d decided to go to uraume’s house to question them. you were ten times hurt by their betrayal than your stupid boyfriend’s. boys came and went. weren’t friends supposed to be forever?
as you banged on the front door, your fist slamming over and over on the door like it’d been the one to fuck your boyfriend, your face was red. it was raining, dripping outside, causing your hoodie to drench and cling to your skin, your boots squishing slightly in the puddle at the front door of uraume’s house.
you didn’t expect uraume’s father, sukuna, to open the front door with a scowl on his face. tears were dripping down on your face at the point, and maybe to anyone else, it would’ve just looked like your face was wet from the rain, but ryomen sukuna wasn’t a fucking moron. he could tell right away. you were crying. you weren’t just crying, even. you were angry sobbing.
“why the fuck are you banging on my door, brat?” sukuna’s gruff voice came out, harsh and raspy, like you’d just woken him up from his sleep. his attire, a black wife-beater shirt that exposed his massive biceps and ink-stained skin, and a set of red and black plaid pajama pants with black socks padded over his big feet, supported your theory.
you were shaking. you’d never quite gotten along with uraume’s father. when the two of you were children, he was tolerable. he’d never gotten along with his wife, you noticed, well aware that he’d only accidentally knocked up the woman and wouldn’t even consider marrying her, until she finally left both him and uraume and never looked back. and then he was just worse. especially as you got older, constantly making comments about why you would wear the things you did and why you were so fucking loud and why you were always in his house… but he’d never ask you to leave. and when you even insinuated it? he’d always just shut up, grumble incoherent obscenities under his breath, before eventually just trudging back off to his room and leaving both you and uraume be. 
“i don’t have the energy to deal with your fucking attitude, sukuna. where is uraume?” you snapped, your entire body shaking now, your fast twisting in rage. a flash of lightning snapped across the sky, wind whipping your hair behind you, causing you to quickly brush your hair out of your face with an aggressive huff, the rain only pouring harder.
clearly, sukuna could tell by the expression on your face and the way you spoke, that you hadn’t been joking. instead of answering, sukuna just stepped to the side with a grunt, opening the door a little more. “just come in the fucking house before you get struck by lightning or swept away by the wind.” he grumbled.
without missing a beat, you stormed right into the house. sukuna watched you storm past without another word. he let out a low grumble as you went right up the stairs, making him huff in annoyance. “you’re tracking mud throughout my house, brat. take your shoes off.”
you stopped at the top of the stairs. you looked down, before you unlaced your boots. sukuna walked halfway up the stairs, furrowing his eyebrows as he watched you, before he finally spoke up. “i know you’re not expecting me to bring your fucking shoes at the door-”
“URAUME, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!” you didn’t even let sukuna finish, bringing your foot up, before you kicked in uraume’s bedroom door, caving it in and sending it flying right open, slamming against the wall next to it with a hard thud. you walked into uraume’s room, raising the boots like you were going to throw them right at uraume, but you paused after you turned the bedroom light on… uraume was gone.
and then you felt a gruff of confusion and annoyance behind you. sukuna leaned in the doorway behind you, arms crossed, before he reached up and calmly snatched your boots right out of your raised hand. he placed them in his hands, about to turn and bring your shoes downstairs (even though he said he wouldn’t), when he lowly grumbled, “uraume’s not home. they’ve been at a friend’s all day. why are you so pissed at them anyway? they steal your hairbrush or something?”
sukuna was not expecting you to suddenly fall to your knees, shaking, and release a loud, devastated, unbearably broken sob. sukuna paused in the hallway, turning back, looking at you when he heard the thud of your knees hitting the ground. he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, watching your head hang low as you cried, your tears dripping down your cheeks and off your face, onto your already soaked jeans. sukuna furrowed his eyebrows, pausing, before he lowered your shoes. he just sighed. he used his free hand to open the door a little more, looking down at you, furrowing his eyebrows.
he’d never ever seen you cry before, in all the years he knew you. he’d seen his kid cry. even as an adult. and you were always there. but he had never seen you cry. what the hell did his kid do?
“hey,” sukuna said after a moment, his voice slightly softening, not quite a bark but not moreso with sternness and concern. “what’s going on?”
after a moment, you bring your hand up. you sniffle, defeated, wiping your cheeks and your eyes with the hells of one of your hands as you let out a soft whimper, feeling nothing but defeated. the rage had left your system, now draining out of you, your heart shattered and in millions of pieces all over uraume’s floor. you sniffle, trying to collect yourself, before you push yourself up off the ground with a soft, weak grunt. “nothing.” you whisper, your face barely above a whisper. “i’m sorry.”
as you reach forward to take your boots from sukuna, so you can just leave and go home and cry, sukuna suddenly pulls his hand back, his eyebrows furrowed as he looks down at you. immediately, you look up at him, your fingers outstretched. you timidly pull your hand back, looking up at sukuna, your face softening as you feel a weak throb in your chest.
“you nearly punched my front door to bits, kicked my kid’s door in, and assaulted them with… these.” sukuna held up your heavy and worn black boots still dripping with mud and rainwater from the outdoors, looking at them and scrunching his face a bit, before looking down at you. “clearly, it’s not nothing. and i think you owe me an explanation because this is my house you just barged into and busted.” he said, before gesturing to uraume’s bedroom door, then down to you.
you looked back, looking at uraume’s bedroom door, which was now just barely hanging on by one of the hinges, before you looked back up at sukuna, and then down. “i’m sorry.” you murmur, the realization of your rage hitting you, before you reached up to grab your shoes. “i wasn’t thinking. i’ll leave now. and i’ll pay to fix uraume’s door.” you murmur, only for sukuna to hold the boots back up higher now, dangling them over your face. sukuna was much taller than you were, but then again, he was taller than everyone, staggering at over seven feet tall and beefy. uraume was taller than you, as well, but it was clear that they inherited their height from their normally-sized mother.
“i didn’t ask for an apology or reimbursement. i asked you what the hell is the matter with you.” sukuna insisted, furrowing his eyebrows. “you gonna answer me or not?”
you looked up at sukuna, lowering your hand down again, letting out a small, weak breath. you looked at him, at your shoes, back at uraume’s door, and then at the ground by your feet. “...i caught uraume fucking hakari.” you murmur weakly, your voice barely above your breath. 
sukuna’s eyebrows furrow, and he lowers your boots a bit, though he doesn’t release them or let you take them yet. “your little boyfriend?”
you nod your head weakly, staring down at your feet. sukuna falls silent. and so do you.
after a moment, sukuna lets out a small breath. “...you got any clothes in uraume’s drawers or anything?”
“no.” you say, your voice barely above a whisper. “any of my belongings i have here, uraume can keep though. i don’t care anymore.”
“i was asking because you’re drenched in rain water and i don’t want you getting it all over my house.” sukuna comments back with a gruff huff, before he turns, keeping your boots in his grasp. “go take a shower. i’ll bring you a change of clothes. i’m ordering chinese.”
———
while you didn’t expect to end up in your soon-to-be ex best friend’s dad’s bed, empty chinese containers clattered n the ground, sheets tangled and in nothing but his oversized black t-shirt, your thighs spread and a much older man with his head between your thighs, devouring you between your legs like a pussydrunk beast…. you weren’t exactly unhappy about it.
you gasped, your back arching off the bed as sukuna pushed two of his fingers between your gaping, empty hole. your knees bucked, your heels digging into ryomen sukuna’s bare back, your thighs squeezing his head mercilessly as he shoved his thick fingers deep inside your walls, his tongue repeatedly lapping as your clit like a starved man. “stupid fucking boy.” he murmured into your overstimulated bud, sore from your repeated orgasms. you’d lost count at five, and that’d been a long while ago.
you let out a loud cry, your thighs shaking as you felt another orgasm crashing over you, our fluids squirting and splashing onto sukuna’s fingers as he pumped them in and out of you, your mind lost in a daze. “r-r-ryo-” you sobbed, your tears dripping down your face as sukuna’s fingers dug into your g-spot over and over again, finger-fucking you through your orgasm as he tongue licked up and down your pussy, sucking on your folds so he could devour every last bit of your flavoring. “ahhhh! can’t… can’t take anymore!” you sobbed out, your fingers digging at his disheveled pink hair, which you’d been tugging at for over an hour now. 
suddenly, after coming down from your orgasm, you felt your sore legs shift, your legs pushing up so your knees were now flat, your legs up, your ankles just barely brushing against sukuna’s broad shoulders as he looked down at you, his face soaked with your fluids. he leaned down, immediately crashing his lips into yours, one of his hands resting next to your head while the other kept your face, holding your cheek and cradling it as if it was the most precious thing in the world. his tongue swirled around your mouth as you parted your lips, granting him access, your body shaking as you eased your fingers in his hair, smoothly rubbing the nape of his neck, before he pulled away.
“been wanting this pussy for too long now.” sukuna murmured in your ear, before he began to kiss your neck, your jaw, your ear, biting, nibbling, tugging, pulling, kissing and licking, sucking on your skin like he was trying not to devour you whole. 
“r-r-really?” you panted, your voice trembling softly, your fingers shaking as you looked up at the ceiling, before you gasped as sukuna bucked his hips up into yours, his bulge hitting right against your hips, your soaked fluids and sukuna’s saliva on your pussy immediately wetting the fabric that was snug so tightly to sukuna’s throbbing cock.
sukuna nodded his head into your neck, rolling his hips forward, causing a needy whimper to escape your lips as your toes curled, your feet threatening to fold inward as you attempted to arch your back off the bed again from the pressure of him directly up against you. okay, so maybe you could take a little more- scratch that! you needed it.
“mhm. four summers ago.” he answered, panting, his own voice slurred from just how absolutely wrecked he was after devouring your cunt for almost two hours straight. “walking around my backyard in that string you called a swimsuit.” he grunted, rolling his hips up against your pussy again, causing you to gasp again with need. one of your hands moved down, fumbling to try and push his pajama pants down so he could just fuck you already, your fingers trembling and pushing at him to try and free him to no avail as he kept speaking. “and then you saw yuji fall in the deep end of the pool and you jumped right in and saved him.”
your eyes widened a bit, your heart thumping at the memory. it was clear as day. uraume had a big pool in their backyard, and their family would often host barbecues during the summer, sukuna’s side of the family stopping by to join them- you were always the only non-family member who was got invited, apart from yuji’s older brother choso’s girlfriend, Yuki, who was his wife at this point and so was now actually family. 
you and uraume had been by the pool, tanning in the beach chairs after eating, when you heard a sudden splash. nobody had even noticed it or had been paying attention, even the boy’s father- jin- who was always usually watching his son like a hawk. but you’d seen it. the little splash of sudden pink, and then watching it float down to the bottom of the deep-end, the little boy struggling. you were diving into the water and carrying him back up to the top moments later, dragging you both out of the pool and sitting on a beach chair as uraume rushed to grab towels and the rest of the family rushed over to the little boy who was shaking and crying and clinging to you like his life depended on it (and he’d clung to you ever since). 
“spent too many nights up thinking about how i wished it was my face stuffed into your chest instead of his,” sukuna grunted after a moment, before he reached down, lifting your (his) shirt up just rough to expose your heaving, bouncing breasts as he swatted your hand away from his pants, desperate to take his time with you. sukuna leaned down, pushing his face between your chest, letting your tits hug his face as he began to kiss down the valley of your breasts, before beginning to bite down into the plushy flesh, marking up your skin as he murmured into you, “i think i prefer doing it this way, though.”
you gasp, arching your back, whining as your pussy throbs, desperate for more of him, your legs shaking. “r-r-ryo! need you!” you cry out, moving your hands back to his hair, before feeling him reach down to his pajama pants and push them down, feeling the violent thwack! of his cock springing up, slapping your ass and overstimulated pussy, before hitting his stomach, some of his pre-cum splattering down onto you.
immediately, you look down, your eyes growing wide as you look at him, watching as his cock twitches and pulses, big enough to poke out above his own belly button, thick and hard and violently red, dripping with pre-cum and what you soon make out as cum, your cheeks turning red at the realization that he’d cum while eating you out, making sukuna chuckle as he grabbed your face with one hands, pinching your cheeks and redirecting your gaze up at him.
“see something you like?” sukuna chuckled, before pushing his thumb into your mouth as his hand cups and squishes your cheeks, his other hand pumping his cock a few times as he preps himself to stuff your needy cunt full of him. “you gonna be a good girl and take daddy’s cock, yeah?” he snickers down at you, watching as you weakly nod, your pussy throbbing at the word daddy, your stomach doing backflips as it becomes invaded by perverted butterflies. 
sukuna leans down, pressing his lips gently to your forehead, before he tilts your chin up, making you look him in the eyes and keeping your gaze up on him. “good girl. keep your eyes on daddy, okay? wanna see the look on your face when i fuck you stupid.” he murmurs, before watching as your eyes grow wide as he pushed the tip into you, your hips bucking up, a scream from the sting escaping your lips, muffled by sukuna’s thumb and his grip on your chin. “aw, i know, brat… daddy’s big, isn’t he? it’ll be okay. just suck on daddy’s thumb. bite down on it if you have to. daddy’s gonna go nice and slow for his needy little thing, okay?” he hummed down at you.
you weakly nod your head, the tears flooding out of our eyes and down your cheeks no longer a signal of pain and betrayal from your best friend and your boyfriend, but rather by the pain and pleasure of fucking your best friend’s sexy father and adjusting to such a big cock that was borderline inhuman. you whine, feeling as sukuna pushes a little more into you, stretching your walls open, and yet you can’t help but want to push and buck your hips up into him, desperate for him to fill you even more.
“keep your hips down and be patient, brat. you are going to take all of me, don’t worry.” sukuna grunts as he lets go of his cock, moving his hands to shove your hips down into the bed as he pushes himself deeper into you, causing you to see stars as he stretches your raw pussy open. you can feel his heartbeat with each throb, each curve of his pulsing veins, and every little drip of cum and pre-cum spilling into your pussy as he pushes himself into you, before finally he bottoms out, his head pressed snug against your deepest and most sensitive areas, before he ruts his hips, a sudden flooding feeling exploding inside of you as he cums the moment he bottoms out, a low groan erupting from his throat.
you gasp, sucking on his thumb as you feel how angrily and needily his cock pulses inside you as he fills you up, his fluids already dripping out of your bright red, straining hole. sukuna leans down, kissing your tears off your face, cooing down at you before he pulls his hips back slightly, only to push deeper into you. his hand swaps from your hips to your stomach, pressing down on your stomach- and the bulge he’s creating in it from his cock pushing so deeply into you- causing him to chuckle as he twists his hand just enough for his fingers to spread out across your swollen tummy and his thumb to press right up against your clit, rubbing circles on your needly bud as you suck harder on his thumb, biting down harshly on it when he starts to fuck himself into you, his thrusts growing meaner and more brutal as he speeds up his face, his bright red eyes growing wider and his pupils dilating as he pants slightly, chuckling to himself, his muscles sensing and squeezing and bulging from his arms and his hand as he loss himself in lust, staring down at where your bodies are so intimately intertwined.
“fuck, baby- such a filthy, tight fucking pussy you have for daddy,” he growls out, his hand 
holding your face tensing as he begins tp pummell his cock in and out of you, thrusting and slamming his hips against yours as your ankles manage to finally hook over his shoulders a bit, your feet turning so that they lock around the back of his neck and on the back of his head. “bastard’s a fucking idiot for missing out on this- fuck, you are squeezing me so tight, brat. this pretty pussy deserves so much better, baby… she doesn’t want a boy. no, she needs a man.” sukuna grumbles to himself, pushing himself deeper into you now, causing you to see stars as you cry and pant, sucking and biting on his thumb as your muffled moans and screams fill the room, your heart pounding as you feel your innards practically explode from how hard you cum on sukuna’s cock, your legs shaking as you sob, feeling him spill inside you again, pumping you full with yet another load of his thick, creamy cum.
as he pulls out of you, you pant, your head spinning from your intense orgasms, before you gasp, your body suddenly flipping as sukuna tosses you over so you’re laying flat on your stomach. one of his hands wraps around your throat from behind, squeezing onto you and restricting your air for a moment, making you see stars as you babble incoherently while he pushes back inside of you, his free hand snaking between your legs as he lifts you just enough for his second hand to return to its previous position, rubbing your clit with his thumb as his fingers and his palm take in just how deep inside of you he is while he brutally fucks up your guts with his insatiable cock.
“don’t give up on me yet, brat. i’m not even close to done with you.”
———
the next morning, the sun gently peeks into sukuna’s dark bedroom, his bedroom door just barely cracked open. sukuna’s bed is a mess, and you’re long out cold, covered in hickeys and bruises and handprints, your hair an untamed mess from sukuna tugging and pulling on it, your neck slathered in his marks, your entire unconscious body sore as sukuna spoons you from behind, clinging to you as the two of you sleep, tangled together after the night you spent together.
uraume, wearing far less markings than you with a tired face, drained and displeased from a night of unsatisfactory sex and then getting dumped since hakari can’t sneak around anymore and bought a ring for you and needed to be an honest man and settle down, walks up the stairs, pausing when they see their door hanging on barely by the hinges. they pause, walking past the bathroom, noticing clothes in the laundry hamper that are half-soaked and definitely belong to you, before uraume finally stops when they see your boots, coated in dried-mud, sitting right outside their father’s door…
uraume picks the boots up off the floor, huffing and grimacing, before they push open the rest of sukuna’s door, looking down at them, “dad, why are my best friend’s things there?! was she here last nig-”
uraume freezes, looking up as sukuna’s red eyes stare right in uraume’s own, your bare, sleeping body curled up into sukuna’s, still deep in a fucked-out sleep. sukuna just huffs, rolling his eyes, before he simply grumbles, “since you and her ex boyfriend are apparently so close, you can let hakari know not to worry. she’s in much better hands now.”
—————
masterlist! not proofread. please do not copy, steal, repost, and/or translate. copyright protected by blitziwitchwrites.
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paradisestarfishh · 17 hours ago
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Really?
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Warning = injury, fights, kinda violent
Pairing = Rukawa Kaede x reader
Summary = During a heated game, Rukawa and Sakuragi fight, leaving Rukawa injured. You step in, help him to the nurse, and see a rare glimpse of his softer side.
Word count = 1.4k words
Read below 👇
The game has been very intense so far. There was so much going on in the court. From the ball was going back-and-forth between the two teams to the arguments. It was mostly that new red-haired guy, Sakuragi or something, that had been at Rukawa’s throat since the second quarter.
It started with a few harsh words and shoves, but it started to get worse when it escalated to a full-blown fight right there on the court. You’d never seen Rukawa so visibly frustrated like that before, but the way Sakuragi was annoying him relentlessly, you really couldn’t blame your boyfriend.
"You’re trash, Rukawa!" Sakuragi yelled, attempting to shove past him again. But Rukawa, clearly done with him, shoved him back with more force than necessary. The collision knocked Sakuragi off-balance. 
“Ugh! You darn-!” Sakuragi screamed before throwing a punch at Rukawa.
Then it turned into a full blown fight in the middle of the court. 
The players and coaches and others just stood around them frozen. Everyone was unsure whether to break it up or let them settle it themselves. But all you could do was watch in disbelief as the two of them went at it, exchanging shoves, punches, and insults. You could see Rukawa trying to keep his cool, but Sakuragi’s wild, reckless energy pushed him to his limits.
You rushed to the sidelines, hoping to intervene before things got even worse. But then, in the chaos, it happened. As Sakuragi threw another wild punch, Rukawa dodged, but his foot slipped and he fell on the ground.
The next moment, you saw Rukawa crumple to the ground with a sharp gasp, clutching his ankle.
“Rukawa!” you shouted, rushing toward him without a second thought.
Sakuragi, clearly realizing the fight had gone too far, stopped and stared, his eyes wide. “Crap! Is he okay?” he muttered, stepping back awkwardly.
Rukawa winced, clearly trying to mask the pain. “I’m fine,” he growled, but the look on his face said otherwise.
You knelt beside him, ignoring his protests. “No, you’re not fine. You’re hurt.”
"Don’t touch me," he snapped, but you could see the pain in his eyes, even if he was too proud to admit it.
“Shut up and just let me help you.” You moved to inspect his ankle, carefully moving his foot. The injury didn’t look good, and you could tell he wasn’t going to be able to use it for a while.
Sakuragi scratched the back of his head, looking more sheepish than usual. “Uh… Maybe I went a little too far?”
Rukawa shot him a glare as you gently pressed his ankle with a cold towel. “Damn right, you did.”
Sakuragi took a step back, unsure whether to keep apologizing or just leave. “I didn’t mean for you to get hurt, Rukawa. I swear I didn’t.”
Rukawa’s only response was a sharp exhale and an expression of face twisted in annoyance. "Yeah, well, maybe you should learn how to keep your fists to yourself."
You could feel the tension between them, even as you focused on Rukawa's injury. “Alright, enough bickering,” you interjected, more to break the tension than anything else. “Rukawa, stop acting like you’re fine. You need to sit down before you make it worse.”
Rukawa gritted his teeth, clearly hating how helpless he felt. “I don’t need your help.” His voice was low, stubborn, but you could tell he wasn’t as confident in that statement as he wanted to be.
“Too bad,” you muttered, gently lifting his injured leg. “Because you’re getting it whether you like it or not.” You glanced at Sakuragi, who was still hovering awkwardly nearby. “Go get the coach or someone. He needs to get off the court.”
Sakuragi hesitated for a moment, then gave a small nod, mumbling something under his breath as he ran off to find the coach.
You focused back on Rukawa, feeling a mix of frustration and concern. “You’re really stubborn, you know that?” you said, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re not invincible.”
Rukawa looked at you, his eyes slightly softer than before, though the typical scowl was still there. “I know that,” he muttered. “Just don’t make a big deal out of it.”
You gave him a small, reassuring smile. “Not making a big deal. Just making sure you don’t make it worse by trying to walk on it.”
He stayed silent for a few moments, his gaze drifting to the floor, then back to you. The usual aloofness was still there, but there was a hint of gratitude in his eyes and you swore you were not drunk.
“Thanks,” he muttered.
You blinked in surprise at his sincerity. "You're welcome. Now, stop being a pain and let’s get you off this court."
With Sakuragi away to find the coach, you decided to help bring Rukawa to the nurse’s office before the situation could get any worse. You gently helped him to his feet and let him lean on you to not put too much pressure on the injured foot.
"Hey, you don’t have to help me," Rukawa muttered, his usual pride still evident in his voice. "I can walk just fine."
You raised an eyebrow at him. "You can barely stand, Rukawa. Don’t be an idiot."
He shot you an irritated look but didn’t argue further. Instead, he let you guide him down the hall, his weight resting more on you than he’d like to admit. You kept him steady, making sure his steps were as painless as possible as you reached the nurse’s office.
The nurse, a middle-aged woman, immediately stood up as she saw you both walk in. “What happened?” she asked, eyeing Rukawa with a raised eyebrow.
"Sakuragi happened," you replied, trying to keep things light despite the situation. "He went a little... overboard with the fight."
The nurse gave a small sigh, though there was no surprise in her voice. "Typical. Sit down, Rukawa." She motioned to one of the beds.
Rukawa grumbled but did as instructed, carefully sitting on the bed while you helped him settle. You stood by, watching as the nurse began to assess his injury.
“It’s not broken, but you definitely sprained it,” the nurse said after a quick examination. “You’ll need to minimize pressure and put some ice on it for a while and you’ll be good to go.”
Rukawa grunted in response. "I told you, I’m fine."
"You’re not fine," you said firmly, giving him a look that quickly shut him up. "If you don’t listen to the nurse and rest, you’ll make it worse."
The nurse handed him an ice pack. "Here, keep this on for at least twenty minutes. Don’t try to walk on it too much today, okay?"
Rukawa didn’t argue this time. He took the ice pack from her and set it on his ankle, muttering a quiet thanks under his breath. You couldn’t help but notice how different he seemed. He seemed a lot calmer and less arguments coming from him.
You grabbed a chair and sat beside him, giving him an amused smile. "You know, I’m starting to think you might actually be human after all."
He rolled his eyes but didn’t retort. Instead, he leaned back slightly, his posture relaxing just a bit. "Don’t get used to it."
You chuckled quietly, not pushing any further. "I’ll take what I can get."
The nurse left the room for a moment, giving you both some space. The silence in the room was comfortable, and for once, Rukawa didn’t seem so distant. He didn’t speak, but there was a subtle change in the way he presented himself. It was less tense, and he wasn’t afraid to show his vulnerability to you.
You leaned back in your chair and sighed. "You know, if you just stopped trying to act like you’re invincible all the time, you might actually let people help you."
Rukawa glanced at you, his lips twitching slightly. "I don’t need help."
You smirked. "I think you just need to accept that it’s okay to let people take care of you every once in a while."
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paradisestarfishh · 23 hours ago
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(┬┬﹏┬┬) found the sakuragi headcanon really cute.. Would you mind making a romantic headcanon for rukawa? I find the idea of tutoring him hilarious since he'd just fall dead asleep, so feel free to expand on that idea if you'd want. Thank you for taking the time to read my request!
Rukawa Kaede x Gn!Reader Headcanons
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The face in the gif is all I can see him having while in a relationship and committing romantic acts.
I'm going to start with the most obvious fact: Rukawa isn't a big fan of PDA, but he doesn't hate it either. He won't be the one to initiate affection in public. However, he also isn't the type to slap away your hand when you're trying to hold onto his. If anything, I see Rukawa stuffing both yours and his hand in his pockets.
Rukawa is quiet by nature. He is satisfied with sitting and listening to you talk about your day, if-you-won't-ask-he-won't-share type of guy. But if you're not much of a talker, he is content with the silence and mutual understanding shared in this relationship.
For some reason... I see Rukawa as a mouth person, not in a sexual way, he just really adores any type of lip shape you might possess. When you both get comfortable with intimacy, I don't think Rukawa will miss a chance to kiss you and feel your mouth shape rest on his. Oral fetish just gets his love-starved brain and the closeness the action brings is pleasant for Rukawa.
I see him as a quiet tease, he needs no words to point out how much taller he is, elbow on your head and all. Oh, you don't like cats? He casually lets the one he is holding paw at your arm. Oh, you like cats? His eyes give you a side eye as two cats get closer to him and leave you with your hands outstretched.
Concerning basketball tho.... I have to be honest. Rukawa has no reaction to you showing up to his matches, I can only see him giving you one glance before the play, so you better time it right to show him your support (maybe with a thumbs up and a smile?) even if he won't meet your gaze until after the match. Rukawa might not show it, but he definitely appreciates the subtle gesture.
I can see bike rides as his second favorite dates, so try to keep up with him because he won't wait for you to catch up to him lol. As a compromise, he'll buy you ice cream.
His first favorite dates is cat cafes. Pretty self-explanatory.
He values his privacy so asking for relationship advice from ANYONE, let alone the Shohoku club, is out of the question.
The more time you spend with him the more you understand his thought processes and how it revolves around his naps, so yeah, tutoring will be adjusted to fit his style since Rukawa can't solve one equation without his head lying sideways on his arm and not to mention him taking a ten-minute nap before he moves on to do another subject. Between him and you, you have more chance to fall asleep for hours, since Rukawa always ends up waking up after ten minutes.
He is also a light sleeper and a clingy one too, good luck trying to get him off of you. His stubbornness shows up at the worst times.
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paradisestarfishh · 23 hours ago
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Hi~ your post on study session headcanons was so relatable for me, because I’m preparing for exams right now! Wish Kogure-sempai could keep me company while I revise… Sigh
Would you do headcanons for Mitsui, Rukawa, Kogure, and how they’d make up with their s/o after an fight?
Thank you so much! Keep up the good work!
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─꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱─ slam dunk : kiss & make up ☆
⸝⸝ tl;dr : fights are always the worst thing to have with your partner. work features mitsui, rukawa, kogure, and you !
⸝⸝ note : not really hurt/comfort, but more so just the comfort after talking it out with the sd boys ! and thank u sm, peach, wishing you the best on exams ! (even though its vv late) =DD
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you don't even remember what you fought about . was it a conflict on schedules ? were you being too clingy ? or lack thereof ? whatever it was, it felt awful .
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mitsui hisashi . . .
look, i love the guy, but he's not the best at communication
chances are, he'll be giving you the cold shoulder for a couple of days, even though his heart yearns for your presence and his eyes automatically search for your name whenever his phone lights up with a notification
i feel like he'd be a bit prideful, not replying for hours on end and giving you terse replies whenever you speak — like i said, awful communication skills !!
secretly though, he'd be asking his friends for advice — kogure, specifically. and to some extent akagi as well; he knows that both of them are level-headed enough to hear both yours and his side of the story.
eventually, he breaks ; he misses being around you : (
mitsui stops you just as you were about to leave the room. it was late afternoon, the sun's rays slanting through the classroom windows. dust motes swirl lazily in the light as mitsui steps towards you once, twice, three times, until eventually you two are facing each other. his eyes are downcast, his feet shuffling on the worn wooden floors. "look, i - uh -" he starts, and he curses. why the hell can't he talk ? even when you're not doing anything, you can still render him speechless. he stops, takes a deep breath, starts again. "i just wanted to say that i'm sorry, for you know, not answering your messages and not calling you back. ignoring you. i - i have no excuse for that; and i'm not proud of it, either. but i just wanna say that, whatever we fought about, we- we can talk it out, if you're okay with that. i wanna make this right. i don't like being in fights with you, and it feels weird, not talking to you. and the thing is, i-" he sighs again, his gaze finally coming up to meet yours. his words come out in a whisper, his statement meant for you and you only. "- i missed you."
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kogure kiminobu . . .
easily the best communicator out of the three !!
he's the type of person that strives to end any miscommunication before it could even begin, so fights and arguments with him are infrequent, if not completely rare
the only scenario i can see wherein you'd get in a fight with him is about how maybe you're working too hard -- studying from the time you get home to the early hours of morning with no breaks in-between
kogure hates seeing you suffer, so often times he tries to offer advice, even if you don't want or need it
eitherway, an argument would happen ; maybe some hurtful words were thrown around, words that neither of you meant
regardless of who instigated, kogure would always be the one to first make amends
all around you, the world goes on -- students chatting excitedly over lunch, footsteps echoing all across the campus, birds and cars and people all just trying to move forward. but in this corner of the school, the one with the flowering cherry tree behind the cafeteria, the world only consisted of you and him. you fidget with the water bottle in your hands, the condensation making your palms wet. the sweltering noontime heat makes you dizzy. (or was it from your lack of sleep?) you raise your handkerchief to swipe at your sweat, but kogure beats you to it -- gently, he dabs his at your forehead, then your cheeks, then your neck. his hands are cool despite the heat. "i'm sorry for what i said the other day," he says as he cools you down. "i ... i just don't want to see you having a hard time. i know that your deadlines were near and you have so much to do but i just really don't like seeing you so ... tired. you haven't been talking much lately and i haven't seen you smile all week so i - i just --" "kiminobu." you cut him off, leaning your cheek into his palm. kogure's heart pounds in his chest ; you say his name so sweetly, so softly. "it's okay." "are you sure?" he stammers, leaning forward to caress your face better. "it's just that i know i said some things that i shouldn't have said and it's --" "kiminobu," you repeat again, your tone firm but gentle at the same time. you rest the weight of your head on his palms (along with the weight you've been feeling all week) and you smile at him. "it's okay." kogure stares at you for a moment, then he smiles back, his eyes crinkling and a laugh spilling from his lips. "okay," he repeats, nodding his head. "okay." he laughs, and it feels like he's weightless, floating on cloud nine.
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rukawa kaede . . .
not much to say for rukawa tbh
but in all seriousness, the aftermath of your fights with rukawa would be silent and cold. much like mitsui, he tends to prioritize his pride and sore heart over actually making amends with you.
but that doesn't mean he doesn't care !
more often than not, he ends up with his fingers hovering over his phone's keyboard, trying desperately to think of a way to apologize to you, before sighing and just turning his phone off
he plays basketball to let off the steam, and also to occupy his mind from the lack of your presence : (
the sounds of rukawa's basketball hitting the floor echoes throughout the empty gym, mixing in with the sounds of cicadas chirping in the trees. moths gather under lamplights, their wings silvery in the night. bam-bam-bam goes the ball, before his pace stuttersto a halt. he wipes the sweat off his forehead and checks the time -- 7 pm. that's enough practice for one day. the cold night air greets him as he walks out the gym. as he swings his leg over his bike, he sees a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye. "you're still here," he states, deadpan. he still hasn't figured out how to apologize to you, and his stiffness shows in his voice. "yeah," you reply, clutching your bag tighter. you had been in the library with your classmates up until that point, working hard to finish a group project before tomorrow's deadline. silence between the two of you. you walk on, and so does he, the click-click-click of his bike wheels the only sound disrupting the quiet turmoil of each other's thoughts. the two of you exit the school campus, and for a moment you both falter on the concrete sidewalk, shoes scuffling the grit underfoot. "i'll- i'll go this way, then," you mutter. what the hell, he hates this! everything feels so ... stilted. before rukawa could reply, you turn on your heel and start walking in the direction of the train station. you barely manage three steps before rukawa cycles by, blocking you with his bike. he takes your bag and puts it in the front basket. pats the passenger seat of his bike with a determined gaze. "i'll take you home," he says. his voice is softer now. there wasn't much else to do except to sit on the backseat of his bike and let him pedal you home, the night air causing goosebumps to erupt on your skin. "wrap your arms around me," rukawa instructs. the wind carries his words, lifts it to your ear. you swear his breath hitches just the tinest bit when you do what he says, adding in a small nuzzle to his side for good measure. "i'm sorry," you whisper after a while, voice half-muffled by the fabric of his coat. your fingers toy with the zipper of his jacket. rukawa is silent for a bit, then he takes one hand off the handlebar and puts it atop yours. he intertwines your fingers with his, squeezing. his pulse vaguely thumps through his skin, sending beats vibrating through your palm. "i'm sorry, too."
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paradisestarfishh · 2 days ago
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Eyes On You
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summary - you finally decide to give the gym a go, getting yourself involved with a man who's dead set on pushing you to your limits
wc - 5.4k
content - MDNI, insecure!reader x gymowner!Sukuna, mentions of weight, Sukuna's harsh at first, eventual mutual pining, solo mast. (m + F, separate), 0ral (f receiving), face s;tting, handj0b, slight body worship, submissive reader, freaky in the gym shower (anyone could hear them...but no one does?), teasing, hella unrealistic, really amateur writing like please I'm cringing so hard
an - uhm I've never written a mini fic before !! please excuse the awkward writing
Lazily proofread by me mb
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It took all the courage you had to even think about signing up to the gym that opened down the road, but the little voice in the back of your head was telling you to go. Just check it out, it said. Walk around a little, and then right back out. Shouldn’t be hard, right?
Right?
Wrong. How wrong you were. It was easier said than done in hindsight, but you didn’t expect the heavy thud of rock music to blare throughout the facility until you felt your bones tremble. Nor did you expect large gaggles of gym bros swarming around the equipment, a few heads turning the moment you pushed open the glass door. Sure, there were enough women there also, but not enough to deter you from yanking the drawstrings of your hoodie. Your vision became obstructed as the hood tightened around your face, whispered curses leaving your lips.
“Shit, shit, shit,” you muttered, eyes darting side to side as the social anxiety set in. You were close to turning around on your heel and out of this building, leg already twitching. But a low, gravelly voice called out to you from beside a water fountain you were unfortunately standing too close to. 
“Lost? Nervous? Which one is it, girl?”
You don’t know how you missed this giant of a man, especially when his cropped, pink hair made him stick out like a sore thumb. Some strands were plastered to his sweaty forehead and concealed the judgement of his stare. Barely. His tank top also did a poor job of hiding those hulking muscles, flexing slightly with full veins as he gripped his water bottle. Looks like you caught him mid-workout. Oh, and you’re gawking like an idiot.
Nice going. 
“Are you deaf or something? Speak up already,” the stranger clicked his tongue impatiently, and you internally panicked. You wondered whether manifestation was real and if you could will for the stranger to just explode. Actually, make it the entire room. An embarrassed grimace appeared on your face as you realised you had the attention of a couple of people on you.
“Uh, no. No, I’m not deaf. Just looking around,” you began to explain, undoing the drawstrings of your hoodie once you realised how utterly stupid you must have looked. But then the stranger gave you a grimace of his own, lips quirking up as his eyes landed on your dishevelled hair. You looked like a mess. 
Way to go. Now you can’t show your face in public. And yes, it really was that deep.
And so you smoothened your hair out and plastered an overly enthusiastic grin on your face to compensate for the fact you couldn’t socialise. “Where do I sign up?”
He snorted, a sceptical brow raised as he checked out your incredibly outdated attire. “You want to sign up?” 
You nodded. Fuck, you weren’t even meant to say that. The urge to slap a hand over your forehead grew tenfold, but you fought it.
A shaky breath left you as you gave in to that little voice reminding you that no, you didn’t fit into those jeans you’ve had your eyes on for a while. No, your mom hadn’t stopped making comments about your body and lack of love life. 
“...Yes, please,” you said after a beat of silence, and that was that. Sukuna, who was apparently a trainer, led you through the whole process. Sign this, read that, fork over some of your wage. You know, the typical procedure. The new you was coming very soon, you told yourself after internally crying over the money spent. You’ll buy those jeans in no time.
═══════★
“Sloppy fuckin’ form, girl. Sharpen up,” Sukuna barked, circling around you like a goddamn hawk. 
Oh, you swore you were going to quit that gym soon. He had been riding your ass for the past couple of weeks, pushing you further than you’ve ever pushed yourself. Sukuna called you out on your bullshit that first day when you tried hiding in the corner with your phone out, coaxing you onto a mat and making you stretch. Since then, Sukuna kept an eye on you, making sure you were red-faced by the end of the workout. 
A sharp click of his tongue brought you back from your thoughts. You groaned, raising your hips from the floor and spreading out your limbs. You were currently doing a plank, which appeared to be dissatisfactory in Sukuna’s eyes. 
“I’m doing it, I’m doing it,” you hissed, head tilting up as best as you could so that you may glare at your tormentor. A scoff left his lips.
“Yeah, you’re as intimidating as fuckin’ pebble right now. Head down.”
Your head dropped reluctantly. The quiet grunt you accidentally let out didn’t escape the trainer, but he wasn’t about to soften up. Neither were you out of sheer stubbornness. 
However, the burn in your thighs and arms became more noticeable. An ‘oof’ sound left your lips as your jellied arms buckled and you face-planted the floor. Another tut and more chuckles from the other members scattered in the gym. 
“Take five,” Sukuna couldn’t help but roll his eyes at you. 
A dismissive noise left you as you remained face-down on the floor, Sukuna’s fading footsteps and mutters of annoyance filling your reddening ears. Your face burned. 
Swallow your pride and quit, the voice in your head mocked. 
But two weeks in? You couldn’t. Not when you had stupidly formed a grudge against Sukuna for pushing you so hard too early on. You shook your head and got back into form, lower lip jutting out in sheer determination. You were completely unaware of the approving nod from the other end of the room.
═══════★
Walking was simply out of the question today. You threw the covers off and gritted your teeth at the way your legs throbbed with each shift of your body. 
It had been maybe five sessions since you had face-planted the floor in front of Sukuna. It didn't look like he'd ease up any time soon after that incident. In fact, he grew meaner. That apparently made you like him more.
The mere thought of him made you shrivel up in bed and grimace, but you couldn’t fight the slight inkling of attraction you felt towards him, slight being an understatement.
It was bound to happen eventually, right? You'd be stupid not to be attracted to him. Each muscle looked like it had been carved right out of stone. Hell, now that you think about it, it was probably also those unamused looks he was throwing your way that made you keep going back to that cursed gym. 
You were there now after hyping yourself up in the mirror back home. Not for too long, though. One look at your chest flailing around was enough to make you curl your lip and shrug on that tacky pair of sweats and hoodie you liked to work out in. You skipped breakfast and settled on a shitty cereal bar you found in your kitchen. It wasn't the best thing to do, but you were set on losing weight. 
The air reeked, to be frank. It was the first thing you noticed after walking into the gym. Testosterone and sweat mixed with a strong hit of regret. Regardless, you pushed through and continued shuffling on your boneless legs. You set your bag down in some lonely corner and mentally prepared yourself for Sukuna to berate you about God knows what. It was something new every time you came here. 
“Told your stubborn ass to stretch after the workout,” he drawled once he sauntered over, an amused look on his face. “Just had to stomp out like a little brat, didn’t you?”
“That's not true. I just wanted to go home and shower,” you scoffed in response. But Sukuna didn’t reply. Instead, he raised a brow that screamed oh, really? You could feel the back of your neck prickle with an uncomfortable heat as he stared you down. 
And then he walked off. Asshole.
“So fucking weird. I mean, who does that?” you rambled to no one, getting in form and raising your arms over your head as you stretched. The slight sting of your muscles being used was actually rather welcome for once. 
═══ Later ═══
By the time you were done, you were warm and sweaty. Sukuna hadn’t spoken to you much today, too busy chewing out a new member of the gym. Poor dude, you thought. But at least it wasn't you. 
This gave you time to look in the mirror, a poor habit of yours. Your eyes cast over your body agonisingly slow as you checked for any changes in physique. Little bursts of cool air hit your flushed skin when you lifted your t-shirt with one hand slightly to inspect yourself, the other hand fanning your face. You then sighed, running a hand over your hip. 
“The fuck are you doing?” 
A garbled yelp left you as you dropped your top and looked at Sukuna from the mirror without turning around. His red eyes were trained at your hip, and he looked almost disappointed at the fact that your clothes had covered again. You whizzed around and stood there stiff. A pause, and then you were wondering why the hell your mouth was starting to run. 
“Nothin’. None of your business,” you chuckled nervously, hands clenching at your sides. “Just checking progress.” 
“Yeah, ‘cus that’s the only reason why you cop a feel of your own body after every session looking like a kicked puppy,” Sukuna’s eyes remained lidded, flicking between the mirror and you. 
“Oh, cmon. I look nothing like a kicked puppy-”
“Yeah, you do. Every single time.”
“You're watching me like some perv-”
“And what?”
You paused and inhaled deeply, a stupid smirk appearing on Sukuna's lips as you grew increasingly frustrated with him. “Will you at least let me finish my sentence?”
“No can do. Wanna explain yourself?” He asked, beefy arms folding over his chest. You had to forcefully drag your eyes away from the slight jiggle of his pecs, your body reacting similarly to that of a Victorian male seeing an ankle for the first time. 
“Eyes up here. Talk to me,” Sukuna repeated, softer this time. Your hands fiddled with each other as you debated whether to open up to this hothead. It was likely that he'd a) make fun of you, or b) propose on the spot and fawn over how perfect you were (extremely unlikely, but a girl could dream).
Sukuna watched as your lips parted and the lie tumbled out of your mouth since it was easier than telling the truth.
“Just stretching.”
An unimpressed grunt rumbled in the man's chest. “Bullshit, but keep telling yourself that.”
“Tch. What else am I doing then?”
“Fuck knows, but quit it. That's not healthy,” a finger jabbed at your forehead, and you swatted his hand away without thinking. Your chest tightened slightly. Was that genuine concern?
Sukuna saw your reluctance to accept his words, making him shoot a deadpan look your way. “I'm being serious. Stop grabbing at yourself before I throw a dumbbell at the mirror,” he scolded, narrowed eyes boring into yours.
“I see you busting your ass every time you're here. You may not think I notice it, but I do. Trust me. Do you really think I’d push someone so hard if I didn’t see something in them?”
He was speaking to you like a trainer now, but you could hear some of his own personal feelings slip through the cracks. It made your throat feel tighter. 
“To be honest, I didn't think you'd see,” you mumbled, swallowing the lump in your throat and wiping your increasingly sweaty hands on your t-shirt.
“Well, I have. Now, stop touching your hips like that. They're fine,” he scolded. Sukuna didn't even wait for a reply as he walked off, probably to slap the back of someone's head again.
For the first time that day, your body felt less heavy. 
And you could confidently meet your eyes in the mirror again. 
═══════★
With your eyes fluttering shut, you shifted and lay on your back whilst reminiscing on Sukuna's words. Maybe it was your memory playing tricks on you, but you swore his eyes lingered on your body in an appreciative way. Maybe he saw more in you than you had ever seen in yourself. But realistically, maybe you were that attention deprived that you were making up scenarios to feel special. 
An exasperated groan left you as you rubbed your face in your hands, heat creeping up onto your cheeks yet again. Honestly? You couldn't remember the last time you felt so whipped over someone before. It had been just under a month since you joined that gym, and Sukuna was already plaguing your every thought. 
It's not like Sukuna was your teacher or anything. You were both legal adults. Yeah, maybe you were just some stubborn brat who frequented his gym. But that didn't mean you couldn't feel anything for him. 
But why did you feel guilty? Was it the way he was so uncaring yet so observant at the same time that made you feel this way? Or was it the fact that you saw yourself as unworthy of this arousal?
Regardless, you could feel your cunt beginning to ache. You tried relieving it by squeezing your thighs together, but it was useless. The muscles in your body still felt tight, and the effects of the gym lingered. God, why couldn’t you escape him?
Slick noises filled the bedroom not long after you began questioning your whole dynamic with Sukuna. Yes, it was deeply embarrassing and you’ll surely regret it later. But right now, the sensation of your fingers rubbing tight circles over your clit was too pleasurable to ignore. 
With each ashamed jerk of your hips as you lay there, the plush skin of your thighs shook as you raised it slightly and bent your knee. Even though you lived alone and no one was around to hear you, you bit into your fist to conceal the plethora of needy mewls and gasps falling from your lips. The towel had come undone, exposing the curves of your writhing body. The cool air contrasted deliciously with the wet heat between your parted legs. Now that your breasts were free, the hand at your mouth moved lower so that you lazily brush a couple fingers over a hardened nipple. 
But the moment you did that, existential dread crept over you and you withdrew your hand. Self-consciousness hit you like a ton of bricks and you sat up abruptly, face burning at the fact that you were getting off at the thought of some musclehead at the gym. Your eyes fluttered down, unfocused and blurry from denying yourself of an orgasm. You guessed it was time for another shower. Maybe that’d wash the shame off of you. 
═══════★
After a few days of ignoring the urge to go to the gym, you gave in and dragged yourself out of your home. There’s no way you could look at Sukuna in the eye now. That was one of the many thoughts whizzing round your head as you kept your eyes low and headed to your usual corner of the gym. You could smell the lecture coming from the pink-haired man from a mile away, and boy, you were right. 
You were barely done with your first warmup set when you heard his gruff voice cut through the blaring music. He was not amused. 
“You suuure took your sweet time coming back, Sick of working out already?”
And that’s when you froze. Your heart quite literally dropped to your ass once you managed to stand up straight, but your eyes remained on the mat below you both. 
“Was busy, that’s all,” which was a bold lie. He could tell.
“Hm,” Sukuna began. “Looks like you were too busy to even do your stretches properly.”
A thick set of fingers met your back, the digits pressing into your spine so that your posture was correct. An awkward noise left your lips at the contact.
“Straighten up. At this rate, you won’t even be able to workout because of body pains.”
But that was the least of your problems. Fantasies of his hands coaxing your thighs open and his tongue doing unspeakable things to you filled your mind, causing you to move back sharply. You cleared your throat, noticing again the displeased look on Sukuna’s face.
“I didn’t think you’d care if I turned up or not,” you admitted sheepishly, a bold assumption on your end.
A low, hum of laughter rumbled in his chest, which quite frankly did nothing to soothe the steady pulsing between your thighs. “Oh, I don’t. I just don’t want to be losing out on money through your absence.”
Ouch. 
Your head turned, and he saw the mildly offended look on your face. His words were just enough to make you forget about the heat of his body as he walked around slowly to stand in front of you. 
“I’m kidding, i'm kidding. Mostly," he borderline purred. "Is everything okay, though? You’ve been ignoring me more than you usually do,” Sukuna cocked his head to the side, and you wondered how he could sound both amused and irritated at the same time.
A short huff left your lips, almost sounding amused. If only he knew why you had been avoiding him.
“Nah, everything’s good. Just working out, y’know. Like a normal person would.”
Sukuna’s lip quirked up again, a stupidly attractive habit he had when he felt playful. “Riiiight. If that’s the case, stop lookin’ at me like I’ve fucked your life up or something.”
Your brows furrowed as you struggled to keep your eyes on him. The fuck did he know?! But that frantic look on your face didn’t stop him from running that mouth of his. 
“Oh, but who knows? I might have already. And in that case?” he let his voice drop down a couple of notches, leaning forward until you could practically taste his aftershave on your tongue. “You’re welcome, I guess.” He let his eyes drift down, pausing at your lips, and then down to the swell of your breasts through your t-shirt. 
Were you meant to ask him to look for longer, or slap him?
Once the realisation that maybe, just maybe Sukuna was attracted to you settled in your stomach like a heavy weight, he pulled back and walked away slowly, eyes on you until the last possible moment. You blinked once, then twice. 
You were dumbfounded, but also aroused. What the hell was going on with you both?
═══════★
Sukuna’s private office was…something. Low hanging fluorescent lights flickered periodically as he sat there in the busted chair, sun already having set outside. The occasional clang of metal reverberated around the gym outside of the private wall, and the air inside was heavy with dust, sweat, and intense longing. 
Sukuna’s eyes were screwed shut, unable to physically eat the half-chewed apple on his desk. His cock was aching in his sweats. It’s only been under a week since you came back to the gym, and he’s losing it. He’d be lying if he said you had caught his eye immediately. Sukuna remembers the day you came bumbling in like an idiot into his gym all wide-eyed like you’ve never seen a man before. 
But how wrong he was. You had a mouth on you under all that awkwardness. But most importantly, you were so reactive. He doesn’t know why he liked it so much, but seeing you stiffen up at his touches, push out your lower lip when he pissed you off… It really set him off. Not to mention the noises, God. Your soft pants after a workout, your low groans as you stretched those legs of yours.
Honestly? Sukuna didn’t understand why on earth you were so insecure. He had the urge to drag you away from the mirror every time he saw that disappointed look on your face after each workout session. He could spend ages running his hands across every soft inch of your body to show you that you were fine. There was no need for you to push yourself so hard. 
The mental imagery of burying his face deep into your pussy pained him. It was embarrassing, really, the way he was always ogling at you bent over the dumbbell racks or watching your throat bob with every gulp of water. Sukuna rubbed his face with his hands, groaning and manspreading further in his seat as his cock practically weeped to be freed. He could feel the front of his boxers dampen with his precum, which he had been trying to ignore for a while now. But it was useless. Sukuna may have felt like a hormonal idiot for freeing his length from the confinements of his sweatpants, but he saw no use in denying himself the pleasure of fantasising you on top of him. 
It wasn’t long before Sukuna had a large hand nestled deep in his pants, wrapped around his throbbing cock. He couldn’t be bothered taking it out, and something about ruining his clothes to the thought of you made it all the more thrilling. When he shut his eyes, he could see the full outline of your body underneath your clothes, the way the outline of your sports bra was visible due to sweat after vigorously exercising. 
His cock twitched in his hand and he finally began pumping his hand lazily. Sukuna could imagine you walking in on him, the frazzled look you’d shoot his way. He wanted you to see him like this, but unfortunately for him, you had gone home. 
“Fuckin’ hell, you’ve done it now. Messed me up all good and p-proper, huh?” His hand continued to move, wrist rolling expertly. Almost as if he was used to jerking off to the thought of you. Sukuna’s head tipped back as he pictured you on your knees, lips glossy with his cum and body eager to please him. Oh, you'd look so pretty with your tits pressed together as you sat their obediently.
The chair creaked once he started rutting into his hand frantically. His hips jerked once, then again as his orgasm hit him. It hit him hard. It was messy and the waves of shame hit him at the same time ropes of thick cum coated his fingers and the insides of his sweats. 
Uneven pants filled that small office, and Sukuna finally withdrew his fingers and wiped them clean with a nearby rag he kept nearby. He could feel his heart hammering in his throat, and he actively avoided looking down at the mess he made inside of his sweats. 
Maybe Sukuna felt ashamed. He definitely should have. But there was no way in hell Sukuna would ever stop thinking about you. 
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You should have gone home and showered there like you usually did. But the tension between you and Sukuna exactly two days later had you on edge. You weren’t thinking straight, water bottle empty and chest heaving from overexertion. Your aching feet dragged to the gym showers instead, where you stripped after setting up all of your belongings. That berry-scented body wash just screaming your name. 
Sukuna however, came with other plans. He was thanking the stars that the gym was mostly empty, and there was little to no chance of anyone walking in. Plot armour, one may call it. 
You were in the middle of washing your body, washcloth scrubbing at your chest and getting them all soapy. How odd Sukuna was acting today, you muttered to yourself, recalling how his stare never left you and how his jaw remained tightly clenched. You were almost afraid he’d break a tooth.
The obnoxious creak of the shower-room doors brought you out of your daydreams, and you were glad the curtains concealed you from the eyes of whoever had just walked in. You were thinking to yourself that gosh, they really should oil up the hinges, but the curtains opened. Your eyes landed on a very pent-up Sukuna, whose eyes were shamelessly ogling at your nude body. You merely blinked at him, brain trying to catch up with what was going on.
“So, hey! One person per shower!?” you practically shrieked, backing up when Sukuna entered the shower and shut the curtain behind him. He’s soaking in the sight, clothes becoming drenched as the hot water beat down on both of you. Sukuna’is breath met the steam as he exhaled heavily, finally forcing himself to speak. 
“Gonna tell me to fuck off any time soon? Say something, pretty girl,” he cooed raspily, head cocked slightly to the side as he hunched over you. You could only stare back up at him, blinking away the spray of water. But the way your pussy clenched around nothing told you all you needed to know. You were positive you wanted him, so you gave him a nod. 
That was enough of an invitation for Sukuna to capture your bottom lip with his teeth, sucking it lightly into his mouth as he initiated a kiss under the spraying showerhead. You wanted to kiss back, but everything about Sukuna screamed urgency. You could barely register the fact that he was nipping at your neck, sucking a nipple into his mouth as his greedy hands pawed at every inch of skin you had to offer. 
“R-ryo, please wait-”
“No waiting. Don’t you dare tell me to wait,” he gritted out, sinking onto the tiles and using his hands to maneuver you around so that your rear was in his face. You winced at the sensation of the cold tiles your breasts were pressed up against, but you had no time to complain about it when Sukuna used both hands to spread the supple fat of your ass apart. A sharp gasp ripped out of your throat and your head whipped behind you to check.
“What exactly do you think you’re doin-”
He doesn't allow you to finish your sentence. The fiend angled his head, flattened his tongue and licked a fat stripe from your pussy to ass. You shrieked, hands flailing as you tried to grip the tiles unsuccessfully. A sharp swat to your ass served as a reminder to keep quiet, so you slapped a hand over your kiss-bitten lips. Sukuna took this as a chance to grab one of your calves and lifted it to the side, allowing him to groan deeply at the way your pussy spread so nicely for him. The fact that he could do so with such ease had you positively shaking. 
Your foot slipped ever so slightly on the wet tiles, but Sukuna was there to grip you even tighter, digging his fingers into the ample layer of fat over your hip to steady you. He dove back in, mouth hot on the entirety of your cunt as he ate you out like a man possessed. A garbled cry left your lips as you let your hand leave the tile. Sukuna was beyond pleased when you twisted his short hair into your fist and tugged, beginning to practically ride his face. 
“Fucking starving today, y’know?” he huffed in between filthy slurps. “Acting all shy for what, when your body is this fuckin’ slutty. Think I wouldn’t notice, huh?”
He went on and on, pausing to languidly roll his thick tongue over your pulsing clit. Sukuna sucked it into his mouth, nose buried between the crevice of your ass. You couldn’t respond, rendered to stupidity as ragged breaths left your lungs. The only time the man under you pulled away was to spit directly onto your pussy before diving back in. 
“P-pull away, gah, pull away, Ryo. M’gonna-,” you whined before being rudely cut off. Sukuna chokes on a curse at the nickname you have for him, and he wraps his arms around your waist. You’re sitting on his face, spasming with a cry as he begins shaking his head to the best of his ability. He’s a certified munch for a reason, devouring you from the back as you release all over his face with a strangled cry. 
You wiped the water from your face and slumped against the tiles. A kiss was planted against your ass, and then another. 
“Fucking hell. Should have done this sooner. Much sooner,” he muttered as he eventually rose to his feet. Sukuna’s knees ached, but it was worth it. “Pussy tastes sweeter than anything I’ve ever had.”
You managed to focus your eyes on him, face undeniably flushed as you pushed yourself away from the tiles. It did something to you to see Sukuna so pussydrunk and hard in his boxers. Somewhere along the way, he had tossed his shorts aside, which was perfect. His erection was straining against the fabric, and you took that as an invitation to sling an arm over his bulky shoulder. Your other hand slid down his torso, dipping in every curve of muscle it could find. You left his pecs alone, deciding to squeeze them another day. 
“Oh, oh. You want this as much as I do?” he teased before stopping himself from speaking anymore once he saw the look in your hazy eyes. You didn’t want sex. Not today, at least. So you settled on timidly freeing his length from his underwear and brushing your thumb over the flushed tip. The larger man almost moaned aloud when you rested your forehead against his chest and looked down, a soft noise of awe escaping your mouth at how deliciously thick his cock was. All thoughts of covering the stretchmarks on your hips, the thickness of your thighs, all of it… they were long forgotten at that moment. You started stroking his length almost lovingly, and you heard the slight crack in his usually confident voice.
“Hahhh, s-shit. Got a reaaal sweet pair of hands on you, don’t you, pretty girl?” he simpered, raising your head with a hand and affectionately resting his warm forehead against yours. The way Sukuna praised you had you doubling your efforts, wrist twisting as you pumped him earnestly. 
The water kept running, but Sukuna could worry about the bill another day. A chorus of guttural growls left him, strokes growing increasingly slick with his precum. The periodic twitches spurred you on, your eyes lighting up the closer he came to orgasm. Your gaze broke away when Sukuna’s lips pressed against your temple in a feverish manner, aaall the way down until he could claim your lips once more. The slight musky taste of your own slick graced your mouth. You should’ve pulled away, but you enjoyed the way his saliva mixed with yours.
“W-woah, there. Steady, fuck. I’m about to cum-”
One last flick of the wrist and a sweet peck on the cheek was all Sukuna needed to cum all over your fingers with a final grunt of your name. His release was warm, ropes of it shooting up to his abs. The urge to pop your fingers into your mouth grew, but the water washed it away. Neither of you spoke for a minute, trying to gather your wits about the change in dynamic between you. The steam continued to swirl around you both, providing a more intimate cocoon for you to relax in.
“Let me wash you up, yeah? Can’t be going home half-cleaned,” Sukuna murmured after pulling back from your face, trying as gently as he could to wipe the sodden strands of hair off of your face. He’s made a mess of you, but you were a gorgeous mess. One he’d happily devour a million times over. 
“Ah, well. That’s your fault, no? I suppose you should be the one taking responsibility,” you laughed weakly, mild exhaustion setting in. The orgasm combined with the heat of the shower was getting unbearable, and you wanted to leave. Sukuna picked up on this, making quick work of cleaning you both up. 
“Is that so, hm? Let me take you out then. Properly,” he said, followed by a nip at your ear. Large hands rubbed at your skin, thumbing at the curve of your waist. A swat of your hand landed on his chest, but Sukuna didn’t pull away. Oh, he was deathly serious. 
“...Yes, please.”
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divider creds - @cursed-carmine
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paradisestarfishh · 2 days ago
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pamper me only
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paradisestarfishh · 2 days ago
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BLACK SHEEP!!
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synopsis: who knew that the shy, awkward and dorky girl Suguru thought was weird would end up being the love of his life? WATERMELON
pairing: college!suguru geto x dork!reader
<<previous
contains: fluff, angst, suggestiveness, strangers to lovers, geto being a dick, recreational use of wed, partying, tbd
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“What do you mean, I got an F?”
Yaga sighed at one of his most…talented students’ words. God, he really wasn’t getting paid enough to deal with such annoying students.
“Yes, Mr. Geto, an F. Your midterm was horrible, disgusting, and not to mention, late.”
Geto groaned at his sensei’s statement, headache from his hangover coming back. 
To be completely honest, he didn’t even remember what the fuck he sent to Yaga two weeks ago. It could’ve been that one hate text message he sent one of his rivals at two a.m, or the half made essay about how all humans will turn into crabs. 
But it doesn’t matter. He fucking failed an exam worth a fourth of his grade. 
“You have a lot of potential, Mr. Geto. But no discipline.” Yaga scolded, frowning. 
“And…that is why, I’ll assign you a tutor. And I will give you another exam to do.” 
Geto nodded, rubbing his aching forehead. Good, that was good. Yaga was usually a super strict professor, so it was a miracle itself that he even assigned a tutor to Suguru, much less give him a second chance at an exam. 
He knew that he had to fix his life again, that he wasn’t a rockstar. Not yet at least. For now, he’s just a psych major. 
If he was honest with himself, he should probably stop drinking every night and sleeping so late. He’d age horribly if he continued this way. 
Suguru only needed one incentive to stop his horrible lifestyle…
You tripped into the lecture hall due to your hair masking your vision, your tea falling all over you.
“Aw, shit. This was my favourite hoodie.” You cursed under your breath, taking off the Pokemon hoodie that you were wearing, your glasses getting stuck in your hair while you struggled to take the sweater off. 
Suguru could’ve seen an angel the moment you entered. His eyes widened, looking you up and down.
Pokemon? Oh, you two already had so much in common. He loved Pokemon. That could totally be a point of conversation. 
“Ah, your tutor’s here.” Yaga said, walking back to his desk. 
…Suguru thought it was fate. He mindlessly nodded at whatever Yaga was saying, getting up from his chair and walking all the way to you with his long legs. 
This was his first time talking to you, he had to be as charming as possible. 
“Hey, I’m Geto. It’s so nice to-” The moment he saw it, he felt as if he was going to throw up.
Your face.
How didn’t he recognize you? Sure, you didn’t have those big glasses that made your eyes look like a fish. A very…cute fish, might he add. But your face was easily recognizable. 
Well, to him at least, since he totally hated you. He totally didn’t feel guilty about what he said last month. He totally didn’t get almost run over by Shoko and Utahime after the latter picked you up ‘crying’. 
He totally didn’t throw up in disgust at his own actions. 
In his defense, he was terribly drunk, high on adrenaline and many other things, but he also felt like he was on top of the world. 
His hand was extended, frozen as his thoughts scrambled all over. 
“What do you want?” You spoke up, trying to seem confident, but your voice cracked.
You stood up rather quickly, leaving his hand empty as you clutched all your books to your chest, shy at the fact that you were wearing a simple tank top in front of the judgiest man you know. 
Geto blinked, frowning. “I…You’re my tutor.”
You froze, flushing as you turned to the teacher. “Mr. Yaga, are you serious?” You blurted out.
Yaga shrugged. “Yes, you signed up for the tutor program.”
…Right. You did. You needed the extra money. 
“How much am I getting paid?”
The silence was very loud, the hall echoing your question. 
“Twenty bucks an hour. He’s paying. Now get the hell out of my classroom and work.”
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“Hey…uhm, about that…thing that happened…last month.”
“We don’t need to talk. I will just help by explaining.” You said back, crossing your arms. 
The library was mostly empty, with only some of your friends studying. 
It was awkward, spending time with the same dude that cussed you out of his party, but twenty bucks were twenty bucks.
Not like you did anything, though. He was smart, he could study by himself. 
So, you were nose deep into your little booklet, writing poems for your next literature class. It was a new class you had been taking, mostly to fill your schedule.
Even if you could stay in silence for hours without letting out even a peep, Suguru did not have this ability.
He was tapping everything. His pencil, his foot or his cup. It was annoying, but you tried to ignore it until he spoke up.
“Look, I’m not trying to justify why I was being a dick-”
“I don’t care. You sure didn’t that night.” You shrugged, pushing your glasses up. 
“Then how can I make it up?” He asked in a deep tone.
“Nothing. Mistakes are made. That’s it.” 
Geto scoffed at that. Why did he want you to accept his apology anyway? You never talk to each other. He still calls you a loser. 
Suguru didn’t even know himself. He feels pissed off at everything these days, but maybe that F on the assignment put some things into perspective. 
Or…maybe he feels guilty. You’re…well, you didn’t have the chance to have a first impression without him being sober. 
Maybe he wants to change that. Or maybe he wants to prove to himself that he can still be the charismatic Suguru Geto he was before this whole band thing.
Speaking of, he did have practice, so he should probably cut the tutoring session.
“...I have to leave.” He said plainly, taking his wallet out and giving you a very generous tip.
You blinked at the multiple bills in your hand, confused and slightly flustered. 
“Wh…what?” You stuttered out, looking up at him with a frown.
Suguru shrugged, a smirk on his lips.
“It looks like you need it. I mean, that hoodie of yours is ruined. Might as well buy yourself something new.” He purred, determination in his eyes.
You pursed your lips, perplexed. Was…Was he flirting with you? No, that wasn’t possible.
He stood up, walking away without his books. 
“What a fucking weirdo.” You mumbled under your breath as he left, looking down at his stuff. 
As you did, you noticed that your poem booklet went missing. 
Did…did he just steal one of your most treasured items? And he still wants to make amends? 
You may be a dork, but Suguru Geto is a whole different level of weird. 
Geto smirked to himself as he snooped through your book, already brewing a plan.
Suguru knew what he wants as an incentive, even if you already hate his guts. He’ll win you over, he’ll prove to himself that he still has it. 
He just has to find a way to make you like him.
Which was impossible, considering that one drunken mistake put him in your death note. 
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a/n: we are NOT gonna be manipulated chat. Also, the tag list is closed ;( Everybody who didn't get tagged the index has the chapters.
taglist: : @sailorbu @eolivy @rociofda @se-phi-roth @hopefulpeachcolor @rcveriees @meowpopsicle @somethignelse @sukukuna @tojismilkbag @canary58143 @kidd3ath @11thlife02 @thenightperson @whoreforjjkmen @iluvujt @f4iryfxies @sunehry @raggedypansexual @love-me-satoru @isuckatmakingnamess @miguellover6969 @piercddprincess @iamrgo @tokyi999 @uhhellnogetoffpleasenowty @lunapoowq @deethe80senthusiast @angelinecat @creatureof-chaos @applepi405 @gojotech @kenmaria @myabae @blusterry-bomb @momoewn @kumabs @koolayee @cosmotoic @yama13 @serendididy @beabamboo @lveegsoi @bunbun444 @pillkits @crunchycathy @livingmydreamlife5555 @vxrycooldude @enhasrii @chameleonsoul111 @maybe-a-bi-witch @blossomflowerpott @indiewritesxoxo @dovenu @gojoethereal @kensqueent @no-yes-lol @beereadzzz @megumisdivinedogs @katsukiseyebrows @emelangluls @cheemedcake @get0sdoll @chelluv @disapointedpeaches @the-banshee @princessofenkanomiya @lilac-witch @berrierenn @garden0fyves @luvkyl @erluu @captainsarcasmandsass @pandabiene5115 @stillswoon @crispymoonperfection @naruseshou @chxosunbound @plutobaee888 @wingedladystudent @samxnavialover @buttermilktea11 @vvonunie @sunehry @crocodilethesir @emoedgelord @ccherishme @candy-s72 @lalalandincraz @krazyk @raritysspouse @claudiab22 @eclisth @cuupidsss @dreamingoftomorrow @pipisbeloved @okayiamkassandra @goldenglow149 @prettygalbusiness @ihe4rtme @itsliaah0e @jasonpetertoddismygod @digitaltrippers @haithamsbb @fortunatelyfurrygiver @tiredasiandaughter @mikasaswifw @helo1281917 @chimichangagirl @nina-from-317 @jinniebby2 @harper1666 @kingfisher25 @muscariama @pinacoladagod @inawonderfulworld @sillymercury @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads @academiq @luna-v-roiya @euniciane @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @heheneee @kosherwitchy @betzy-chan @lol29stuf @salma062022 @minabear123 @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @knkou @concretewishes @corvid007 @an-ever-angry-bi @bdusndi @cinnaniyoom @satorupied @txjis @ll0rona @mokiczk @kouyoumarryme @garejuremuzum @tiffyisme3760 @francesca-the-1st @coolleftcollectorstrawberry-blog @qsidrea @transparentfannightmare @faeryli @azulesworld @angeleclipsey @jillver @gojosukuna2268 @crstilia @gradmacoco @yourst3pm0mmy @slowlyshycomputer @ilovesugurugeto69 @yungcc04 @xhoneycombx @everywonuu @mimi-111 @apr1ldust @pocoom @4evahevah @jadinparis @waywardfanwinner @rosegiyanabing @ilymonos @nana1344 @noooo-onee @serena6728 @viaaasdiary @cellophanediamond @skeweusmain-number1pantalonestan @1sweetheart1 @roomie7669 @yoongithebean @lolilokkk @jvnlei @slutlight2ndver @kaidostwin @littleemissperfecttt @armani78 @valentsoup @zozo321 @maomaoinhanfu @deepreviewfun @urfavcousin3333 @ryubae @you-need-namjesus @readerg77 @sanzuhoe @kumabs
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paradisestarfishh · 2 days ago
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BLACK SHEEP!!
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synopsis: who knew that the shy, awkward and dorky girl Suguru thought was weird would end up being the love of his life?
pairing: college!suguru geto x dork!reader
contains: fluff, angst, suggestiveness, strangers to lovers, geto being a dick, recreational use of wed, partying, tbd
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index
black sheep | watermelon | hush |
muse | party 4 u | creep | friends
r u mine | afraid |
comment to be tagged! Taglist is closed:(
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paradisestarfishh · 2 days ago
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Eyes On You
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summary - you finally decide to give the gym a go, getting yourself involved with a man who's dead set on pushing you to your limits
wc - 5.4k
content - MDNI, insecure!reader x gymowner!Sukuna, mentions of weight, Sukuna's harsh at first, eventual mutual pining, solo mast. (m + F, separate), 0ral (f receiving), face s;tting, handj0b, slight body worship, submissive reader, freaky in the gym shower (anyone could hear them...but no one does?), teasing, hella unrealistic, really amateur writing like please I'm cringing so hard
an - uhm I've never written a mini fic before !! please excuse the awkward writing
Lazily proofread by me mb
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It took all the courage you had to even think about signing up to the gym that opened down the road, but the little voice in the back of your head was telling you to go. Just check it out, it said. Walk around a little, and then right back out. Shouldn’t be hard, right?
Right?
Wrong. How wrong you were. It was easier said than done in hindsight, but you didn’t expect the heavy thud of rock music to blare throughout the facility until you felt your bones tremble. Nor did you expect large gaggles of gym bros swarming around the equipment, a few heads turning the moment you pushed open the glass door. Sure, there were enough women there also, but not enough to deter you from yanking the drawstrings of your hoodie. Your vision became obstructed as the hood tightened around your face, whispered curses leaving your lips.
“Shit, shit, shit,” you muttered, eyes darting side to side as the social anxiety set in. You were close to turning around on your heel and out of this building, leg already twitching. But a low, gravelly voice called out to you from beside a water fountain you were unfortunately standing too close to. 
“Lost? Nervous? Which one is it, girl?”
You don’t know how you missed this giant of a man, especially when his cropped, pink hair made him stick out like a sore thumb. Some strands were plastered to his sweaty forehead and concealed the judgement of his stare. Barely. His tank top also did a poor job of hiding those hulking muscles, flexing slightly with full veins as he gripped his water bottle. Looks like you caught him mid-workout. Oh, and you’re gawking like an idiot.
Nice going. 
“Are you deaf or something? Speak up already,” the stranger clicked his tongue impatiently, and you internally panicked. You wondered whether manifestation was real and if you could will for the stranger to just explode. Actually, make it the entire room. An embarrassed grimace appeared on your face as you realised you had the attention of a couple of people on you.
“Uh, no. No, I’m not deaf. Just looking around,” you began to explain, undoing the drawstrings of your hoodie once you realised how utterly stupid you must have looked. But then the stranger gave you a grimace of his own, lips quirking up as his eyes landed on your dishevelled hair. You looked like a mess. 
Way to go. Now you can’t show your face in public. And yes, it really was that deep.
And so you smoothened your hair out and plastered an overly enthusiastic grin on your face to compensate for the fact you couldn’t socialise. “Where do I sign up?”
He snorted, a sceptical brow raised as he checked out your incredibly outdated attire. “You want to sign up?” 
You nodded. Fuck, you weren’t even meant to say that. The urge to slap a hand over your forehead grew tenfold, but you fought it.
A shaky breath left you as you gave in to that little voice reminding you that no, you didn’t fit into those jeans you’ve had your eyes on for a while. No, your mom hadn’t stopped making comments about your body and lack of love life. 
“...Yes, please,” you said after a beat of silence, and that was that. Sukuna, who was apparently a trainer, led you through the whole process. Sign this, read that, fork over some of your wage. You know, the typical procedure. The new you was coming very soon, you told yourself after internally crying over the money spent. You’ll buy those jeans in no time.
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“Sloppy fuckin’ form, girl. Sharpen up,” Sukuna barked, circling around you like a goddamn hawk. 
Oh, you swore you were going to quit that gym soon. He had been riding your ass for the past couple of weeks, pushing you further than you’ve ever pushed yourself. Sukuna called you out on your bullshit that first day when you tried hiding in the corner with your phone out, coaxing you onto a mat and making you stretch. Since then, Sukuna kept an eye on you, making sure you were red-faced by the end of the workout. 
A sharp click of his tongue brought you back from your thoughts. You groaned, raising your hips from the floor and spreading out your limbs. You were currently doing a plank, which appeared to be dissatisfactory in Sukuna’s eyes. 
“I’m doing it, I’m doing it,” you hissed, head tilting up as best as you could so that you may glare at your tormentor. A scoff left his lips.
“Yeah, you’re as intimidating as fuckin’ pebble right now. Head down.”
Your head dropped reluctantly. The quiet grunt you accidentally let out didn’t escape the trainer, but he wasn’t about to soften up. Neither were you out of sheer stubbornness. 
However, the burn in your thighs and arms became more noticeable. An ‘oof’ sound left your lips as your jellied arms buckled and you face-planted the floor. Another tut and more chuckles from the other members scattered in the gym. 
“Take five,” Sukuna couldn’t help but roll his eyes at you. 
A dismissive noise left you as you remained face-down on the floor, Sukuna’s fading footsteps and mutters of annoyance filling your reddening ears. Your face burned. 
Swallow your pride and quit, the voice in your head mocked. 
But two weeks in? You couldn’t. Not when you had stupidly formed a grudge against Sukuna for pushing you so hard too early on. You shook your head and got back into form, lower lip jutting out in sheer determination. You were completely unaware of the approving nod from the other end of the room.
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Walking was simply out of the question today. You threw the covers off and gritted your teeth at the way your legs throbbed with each shift of your body. 
It had been maybe five sessions since you had face-planted the floor in front of Sukuna. It didn't look like he'd ease up any time soon after that incident. In fact, he grew meaner. That apparently made you like him more.
The mere thought of him made you shrivel up in bed and grimace, but you couldn’t fight the slight inkling of attraction you felt towards him, slight being an understatement.
It was bound to happen eventually, right? You'd be stupid not to be attracted to him. Each muscle looked like it had been carved right out of stone. Hell, now that you think about it, it was probably also those unamused looks he was throwing your way that made you keep going back to that cursed gym. 
You were there now after hyping yourself up in the mirror back home. Not for too long, though. One look at your chest flailing around was enough to make you curl your lip and shrug on that tacky pair of sweats and hoodie you liked to work out in. You skipped breakfast and settled on a shitty cereal bar you found in your kitchen. It wasn't the best thing to do, but you were set on losing weight. 
The air reeked, to be frank. It was the first thing you noticed after walking into the gym. Testosterone and sweat mixed with a strong hit of regret. Regardless, you pushed through and continued shuffling on your boneless legs. You set your bag down in some lonely corner and mentally prepared yourself for Sukuna to berate you about God knows what. It was something new every time you came here. 
“Told your stubborn ass to stretch after the workout,” he drawled once he sauntered over, an amused look on his face. “Just had to stomp out like a little brat, didn’t you?”
“That's not true. I just wanted to go home and shower,” you scoffed in response. But Sukuna didn’t reply. Instead, he raised a brow that screamed oh, really? You could feel the back of your neck prickle with an uncomfortable heat as he stared you down. 
And then he walked off. Asshole.
“So fucking weird. I mean, who does that?” you rambled to no one, getting in form and raising your arms over your head as you stretched. The slight sting of your muscles being used was actually rather welcome for once. 
═══ Later ═══
By the time you were done, you were warm and sweaty. Sukuna hadn’t spoken to you much today, too busy chewing out a new member of the gym. Poor dude, you thought. But at least it wasn't you. 
This gave you time to look in the mirror, a poor habit of yours. Your eyes cast over your body agonisingly slow as you checked for any changes in physique. Little bursts of cool air hit your flushed skin when you lifted your t-shirt with one hand slightly to inspect yourself, the other hand fanning your face. You then sighed, running a hand over your hip. 
“The fuck are you doing?” 
A garbled yelp left you as you dropped your top and looked at Sukuna from the mirror without turning around. His red eyes were trained at your hip, and he looked almost disappointed at the fact that your clothes had covered again. You whizzed around and stood there stiff. A pause, and then you were wondering why the hell your mouth was starting to run. 
“Nothin’. None of your business,” you chuckled nervously, hands clenching at your sides. “Just checking progress.” 
“Yeah, ‘cus that’s the only reason why you cop a feel of your own body after every session looking like a kicked puppy,” Sukuna’s eyes remained lidded, flicking between the mirror and you. 
“Oh, cmon. I look nothing like a kicked puppy-”
“Yeah, you do. Every single time.”
“You're watching me like some perv-”
“And what?”
You paused and inhaled deeply, a stupid smirk appearing on Sukuna's lips as you grew increasingly frustrated with him. “Will you at least let me finish my sentence?”
“No can do. Wanna explain yourself?” He asked, beefy arms folding over his chest. You had to forcefully drag your eyes away from the slight jiggle of his pecs, your body reacting similarly to that of a Victorian male seeing an ankle for the first time. 
“Eyes up here. Talk to me,” Sukuna repeated, softer this time. Your hands fiddled with each other as you debated whether to open up to this hothead. It was likely that he'd a) make fun of you, or b) propose on the spot and fawn over how perfect you were (extremely unlikely, but a girl could dream).
Sukuna watched as your lips parted and the lie tumbled out of your mouth since it was easier than telling the truth.
“Just stretching.”
An unimpressed grunt rumbled in the man's chest. “Bullshit, but keep telling yourself that.”
“Tch. What else am I doing then?”
“Fuck knows, but quit it. That's not healthy,” a finger jabbed at your forehead, and you swatted his hand away without thinking. Your chest tightened slightly. Was that genuine concern?
Sukuna saw your reluctance to accept his words, making him shoot a deadpan look your way. “I'm being serious. Stop grabbing at yourself before I throw a dumbbell at the mirror,” he scolded, narrowed eyes boring into yours.
“I see you busting your ass every time you're here. You may not think I notice it, but I do. Trust me. Do you really think I’d push someone so hard if I didn’t see something in them?”
He was speaking to you like a trainer now, but you could hear some of his own personal feelings slip through the cracks. It made your throat feel tighter. 
“To be honest, I didn't think you'd see,” you mumbled, swallowing the lump in your throat and wiping your increasingly sweaty hands on your t-shirt.
“Well, I have. Now, stop touching your hips like that. They're fine,” he scolded. Sukuna didn't even wait for a reply as he walked off, probably to slap the back of someone's head again.
For the first time that day, your body felt less heavy. 
And you could confidently meet your eyes in the mirror again. 
═══════★
With your eyes fluttering shut, you shifted and lay on your back whilst reminiscing on Sukuna's words. Maybe it was your memory playing tricks on you, but you swore his eyes lingered on your body in an appreciative way. Maybe he saw more in you than you had ever seen in yourself. But realistically, maybe you were that attention deprived that you were making up scenarios to feel special. 
An exasperated groan left you as you rubbed your face in your hands, heat creeping up onto your cheeks yet again. Honestly? You couldn't remember the last time you felt so whipped over someone before. It had been just under a month since you joined that gym, and Sukuna was already plaguing your every thought. 
It's not like Sukuna was your teacher or anything. You were both legal adults. Yeah, maybe you were just some stubborn brat who frequented his gym. But that didn't mean you couldn't feel anything for him. 
But why did you feel guilty? Was it the way he was so uncaring yet so observant at the same time that made you feel this way? Or was it the fact that you saw yourself as unworthy of this arousal?
Regardless, you could feel your cunt beginning to ache. You tried relieving it by squeezing your thighs together, but it was useless. The muscles in your body still felt tight, and the effects of the gym lingered. God, why couldn’t you escape him?
Slick noises filled the bedroom not long after you began questioning your whole dynamic with Sukuna. Yes, it was deeply embarrassing and you’ll surely regret it later. But right now, the sensation of your fingers rubbing tight circles over your clit was too pleasurable to ignore. 
With each ashamed jerk of your hips as you lay there, the plush skin of your thighs shook as you raised it slightly and bent your knee. Even though you lived alone and no one was around to hear you, you bit into your fist to conceal the plethora of needy mewls and gasps falling from your lips. The towel had come undone, exposing the curves of your writhing body. The cool air contrasted deliciously with the wet heat between your parted legs. Now that your breasts were free, the hand at your mouth moved lower so that you lazily brush a couple fingers over a hardened nipple. 
But the moment you did that, existential dread crept over you and you withdrew your hand. Self-consciousness hit you like a ton of bricks and you sat up abruptly, face burning at the fact that you were getting off at the thought of some musclehead at the gym. Your eyes fluttered down, unfocused and blurry from denying yourself of an orgasm. You guessed it was time for another shower. Maybe that’d wash the shame off of you. 
═══════★
After a few days of ignoring the urge to go to the gym, you gave in and dragged yourself out of your home. There’s no way you could look at Sukuna in the eye now. That was one of the many thoughts whizzing round your head as you kept your eyes low and headed to your usual corner of the gym. You could smell the lecture coming from the pink-haired man from a mile away, and boy, you were right. 
You were barely done with your first warmup set when you heard his gruff voice cut through the blaring music. He was not amused. 
“You suuure took your sweet time coming back, Sick of working out already?”
And that’s when you froze. Your heart quite literally dropped to your ass once you managed to stand up straight, but your eyes remained on the mat below you both. 
“Was busy, that’s all,” which was a bold lie. He could tell.
“Hm,” Sukuna began. “Looks like you were too busy to even do your stretches properly.”
A thick set of fingers met your back, the digits pressing into your spine so that your posture was correct. An awkward noise left your lips at the contact.
“Straighten up. At this rate, you won’t even be able to workout because of body pains.”
But that was the least of your problems. Fantasies of his hands coaxing your thighs open and his tongue doing unspeakable things to you filled your mind, causing you to move back sharply. You cleared your throat, noticing again the displeased look on Sukuna’s face.
“I didn’t think you’d care if I turned up or not,” you admitted sheepishly, a bold assumption on your end.
A low, hum of laughter rumbled in his chest, which quite frankly did nothing to soothe the steady pulsing between your thighs. “Oh, I don’t. I just don’t want to be losing out on money through your absence.”
Ouch. 
Your head turned, and he saw the mildly offended look on your face. His words were just enough to make you forget about the heat of his body as he walked around slowly to stand in front of you. 
“I’m kidding, i'm kidding. Mostly," he borderline purred. "Is everything okay, though? You’ve been ignoring me more than you usually do,” Sukuna cocked his head to the side, and you wondered how he could sound both amused and irritated at the same time.
A short huff left your lips, almost sounding amused. If only he knew why you had been avoiding him.
“Nah, everything’s good. Just working out, y’know. Like a normal person would.”
Sukuna’s lip quirked up again, a stupidly attractive habit he had when he felt playful. “Riiiight. If that’s the case, stop lookin’ at me like I’ve fucked your life up or something.”
Your brows furrowed as you struggled to keep your eyes on him. The fuck did he know?! But that frantic look on your face didn’t stop him from running that mouth of his. 
“Oh, but who knows? I might have already. And in that case?” he let his voice drop down a couple of notches, leaning forward until you could practically taste his aftershave on your tongue. “You’re welcome, I guess.” He let his eyes drift down, pausing at your lips, and then down to the swell of your breasts through your t-shirt. 
Were you meant to ask him to look for longer, or slap him?
Once the realisation that maybe, just maybe Sukuna was attracted to you settled in your stomach like a heavy weight, he pulled back and walked away slowly, eyes on you until the last possible moment. You blinked once, then twice. 
You were dumbfounded, but also aroused. What the hell was going on with you both?
═══════★
Sukuna’s private office was…something. Low hanging fluorescent lights flickered periodically as he sat there in the busted chair, sun already having set outside. The occasional clang of metal reverberated around the gym outside of the private wall, and the air inside was heavy with dust, sweat, and intense longing. 
Sukuna’s eyes were screwed shut, unable to physically eat the half-chewed apple on his desk. His cock was aching in his sweats. It’s only been under a week since you came back to the gym, and he’s losing it. He’d be lying if he said you had caught his eye immediately. Sukuna remembers the day you came bumbling in like an idiot into his gym all wide-eyed like you’ve never seen a man before. 
But how wrong he was. You had a mouth on you under all that awkwardness. But most importantly, you were so reactive. He doesn’t know why he liked it so much, but seeing you stiffen up at his touches, push out your lower lip when he pissed you off… It really set him off. Not to mention the noises, God. Your soft pants after a workout, your low groans as you stretched those legs of yours.
Honestly? Sukuna didn’t understand why on earth you were so insecure. He had the urge to drag you away from the mirror every time he saw that disappointed look on your face after each workout session. He could spend ages running his hands across every soft inch of your body to show you that you were fine. There was no need for you to push yourself so hard. 
The mental imagery of burying his face deep into your pussy pained him. It was embarrassing, really, the way he was always ogling at you bent over the dumbbell racks or watching your throat bob with every gulp of water. Sukuna rubbed his face with his hands, groaning and manspreading further in his seat as his cock practically weeped to be freed. He could feel the front of his boxers dampen with his precum, which he had been trying to ignore for a while now. But it was useless. Sukuna may have felt like a hormonal idiot for freeing his length from the confinements of his sweatpants, but he saw no use in denying himself the pleasure of fantasising you on top of him. 
It wasn’t long before Sukuna had a large hand nestled deep in his pants, wrapped around his throbbing cock. He couldn’t be bothered taking it out, and something about ruining his clothes to the thought of you made it all the more thrilling. When he shut his eyes, he could see the full outline of your body underneath your clothes, the way the outline of your sports bra was visible due to sweat after vigorously exercising. 
His cock twitched in his hand and he finally began pumping his hand lazily. Sukuna could imagine you walking in on him, the frazzled look you’d shoot his way. He wanted you to see him like this, but unfortunately for him, you had gone home. 
“Fuckin’ hell, you’ve done it now. Messed me up all good and p-proper, huh?” His hand continued to move, wrist rolling expertly. Almost as if he was used to jerking off to the thought of you. Sukuna’s head tipped back as he pictured you on your knees, lips glossy with his cum and body eager to please him. Oh, you'd look so pretty with your tits pressed together as you sat their obediently.
The chair creaked once he started rutting into his hand frantically. His hips jerked once, then again as his orgasm hit him. It hit him hard. It was messy and the waves of shame hit him at the same time ropes of thick cum coated his fingers and the insides of his sweats. 
Uneven pants filled that small office, and Sukuna finally withdrew his fingers and wiped them clean with a nearby rag he kept nearby. He could feel his heart hammering in his throat, and he actively avoided looking down at the mess he made inside of his sweats. 
Maybe Sukuna felt ashamed. He definitely should have. But there was no way in hell Sukuna would ever stop thinking about you. 
═══════★
You should have gone home and showered there like you usually did. But the tension between you and Sukuna exactly two days later had you on edge. You weren’t thinking straight, water bottle empty and chest heaving from overexertion. Your aching feet dragged to the gym showers instead, where you stripped after setting up all of your belongings. That berry-scented body wash just screaming your name. 
Sukuna however, came with other plans. He was thanking the stars that the gym was mostly empty, and there was little to no chance of anyone walking in. Plot armour, one may call it. 
You were in the middle of washing your body, washcloth scrubbing at your chest and getting them all soapy. How odd Sukuna was acting today, you muttered to yourself, recalling how his stare never left you and how his jaw remained tightly clenched. You were almost afraid he’d break a tooth.
The obnoxious creak of the shower-room doors brought you out of your daydreams, and you were glad the curtains concealed you from the eyes of whoever had just walked in. You were thinking to yourself that gosh, they really should oil up the hinges, but the curtains opened. Your eyes landed on a very pent-up Sukuna, whose eyes were shamelessly ogling at your nude body. You merely blinked at him, brain trying to catch up with what was going on.
“So, hey! One person per shower!?” you practically shrieked, backing up when Sukuna entered the shower and shut the curtain behind him. He’s soaking in the sight, clothes becoming drenched as the hot water beat down on both of you. Sukuna’is breath met the steam as he exhaled heavily, finally forcing himself to speak. 
“Gonna tell me to fuck off any time soon? Say something, pretty girl,” he cooed raspily, head cocked slightly to the side as he hunched over you. You could only stare back up at him, blinking away the spray of water. But the way your pussy clenched around nothing told you all you needed to know. You were positive you wanted him, so you gave him a nod. 
That was enough of an invitation for Sukuna to capture your bottom lip with his teeth, sucking it lightly into his mouth as he initiated a kiss under the spraying showerhead. You wanted to kiss back, but everything about Sukuna screamed urgency. You could barely register the fact that he was nipping at your neck, sucking a nipple into his mouth as his greedy hands pawed at every inch of skin you had to offer. 
“R-ryo, please wait-”
“No waiting. Don’t you dare tell me to wait,” he gritted out, sinking onto the tiles and using his hands to maneuver you around so that your rear was in his face. You winced at the sensation of the cold tiles your breasts were pressed up against, but you had no time to complain about it when Sukuna used both hands to spread the supple fat of your ass apart. A sharp gasp ripped out of your throat and your head whipped behind you to check.
“What exactly do you think you’re doin-”
He doesn't allow you to finish your sentence. The fiend angled his head, flattened his tongue and licked a fat stripe from your pussy to ass. You shrieked, hands flailing as you tried to grip the tiles unsuccessfully. A sharp swat to your ass served as a reminder to keep quiet, so you slapped a hand over your kiss-bitten lips. Sukuna took this as a chance to grab one of your calves and lifted it to the side, allowing him to groan deeply at the way your pussy spread so nicely for him. The fact that he could do so with such ease had you positively shaking. 
Your foot slipped ever so slightly on the wet tiles, but Sukuna was there to grip you even tighter, digging his fingers into the ample layer of fat over your hip to steady you. He dove back in, mouth hot on the entirety of your cunt as he ate you out like a man possessed. A garbled cry left your lips as you let your hand leave the tile. Sukuna was beyond pleased when you twisted his short hair into your fist and tugged, beginning to practically ride his face. 
“Fucking starving today, y’know?” he huffed in between filthy slurps. “Acting all shy for what, when your body is this fuckin’ slutty. Think I wouldn’t notice, huh?”
He went on and on, pausing to languidly roll his thick tongue over your pulsing clit. Sukuna sucked it into his mouth, nose buried between the crevice of your ass. You couldn’t respond, rendered to stupidity as ragged breaths left your lungs. The only time the man under you pulled away was to spit directly onto your pussy before diving back in. 
“P-pull away, gah, pull away, Ryo. M’gonna-,” you whined before being rudely cut off. Sukuna chokes on a curse at the nickname you have for him, and he wraps his arms around your waist. You’re sitting on his face, spasming with a cry as he begins shaking his head to the best of his ability. He’s a certified munch for a reason, devouring you from the back as you release all over his face with a strangled cry. 
You wiped the water from your face and slumped against the tiles. A kiss was planted against your ass, and then another. 
“Fucking hell. Should have done this sooner. Much sooner,” he muttered as he eventually rose to his feet. Sukuna’s knees ached, but it was worth it. “Pussy tastes sweeter than anything I’ve ever had.”
You managed to focus your eyes on him, face undeniably flushed as you pushed yourself away from the tiles. It did something to you to see Sukuna so pussydrunk and hard in his boxers. Somewhere along the way, he had tossed his shorts aside, which was perfect. His erection was straining against the fabric, and you took that as an invitation to sling an arm over his bulky shoulder. Your other hand slid down his torso, dipping in every curve of muscle it could find. You left his pecs alone, deciding to squeeze them another day. 
“Oh, oh. You want this as much as I do?” he teased before stopping himself from speaking anymore once he saw the look in your hazy eyes. You didn’t want sex. Not today, at least. So you settled on timidly freeing his length from his underwear and brushing your thumb over the flushed tip. The larger man almost moaned aloud when you rested your forehead against his chest and looked down, a soft noise of awe escaping your mouth at how deliciously thick his cock was. All thoughts of covering the stretchmarks on your hips, the thickness of your thighs, all of it… they were long forgotten at that moment. You started stroking his length almost lovingly, and you heard the slight crack in his usually confident voice.
“Hahhh, s-shit. Got a reaaal sweet pair of hands on you, don’t you, pretty girl?” he simpered, raising your head with a hand and affectionately resting his warm forehead against yours. The way Sukuna praised you had you doubling your efforts, wrist twisting as you pumped him earnestly. 
The water kept running, but Sukuna could worry about the bill another day. A chorus of guttural growls left him, strokes growing increasingly slick with his precum. The periodic twitches spurred you on, your eyes lighting up the closer he came to orgasm. Your gaze broke away when Sukuna’s lips pressed against your temple in a feverish manner, aaall the way down until he could claim your lips once more. The slight musky taste of your own slick graced your mouth. You should’ve pulled away, but you enjoyed the way his saliva mixed with yours.
“W-woah, there. Steady, fuck. I’m about to cum-”
One last flick of the wrist and a sweet peck on the cheek was all Sukuna needed to cum all over your fingers with a final grunt of your name. His release was warm, ropes of it shooting up to his abs. The urge to pop your fingers into your mouth grew, but the water washed it away. Neither of you spoke for a minute, trying to gather your wits about the change in dynamic between you. The steam continued to swirl around you both, providing a more intimate cocoon for you to relax in.
“Let me wash you up, yeah? Can’t be going home half-cleaned,” Sukuna murmured after pulling back from your face, trying as gently as he could to wipe the sodden strands of hair off of your face. He’s made a mess of you, but you were a gorgeous mess. One he’d happily devour a million times over. 
“Ah, well. That’s your fault, no? I suppose you should be the one taking responsibility,” you laughed weakly, mild exhaustion setting in. The orgasm combined with the heat of the shower was getting unbearable, and you wanted to leave. Sukuna picked up on this, making quick work of cleaning you both up. 
“Is that so, hm? Let me take you out then. Properly,” he said, followed by a nip at your ear. Large hands rubbed at your skin, thumbing at the curve of your waist. A swat of your hand landed on his chest, but Sukuna didn’t pull away. Oh, he was deathly serious. 
“...Yes, please.”
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divider creds - @cursed-carmine
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paradisestarfishh · 2 days ago
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what you know - ch16: sleepless nights || r. sukuna
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❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. minor injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. panic attacks. mentions of difficulty eating. legal drama (likely with inaccuracies). tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 17.6k.
main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
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Slipping through the door on Tuesday morning to the lecture hall mere seconds before the professor shuts it, you mutter an apology as you jog up to your seat beside Kento. The blonde’s lips downturn at the sight of your rushed movements as you pull your laptop out, your chest heaving after having run through campus.
“May I ask what has you so rushed?” He questions in a hushed tone as the professor prepares for his lecture.
Letting out a breath, you shake your head. “I had a little bit of an existential crisis this morning, but everything’s good now,” you breathe, forcing a smile.
Kento’s brow raises. “Would this have anything to do with Sukuna?”
“No. Well-” you pause, hesitating as your fingers pause on your keyboard. “Kinda, I guess.”
Kento’s observant eyes flicker between your rushed movements and your expression. He scrutinizes the minute tremor in your fingers and the way you chew on your lip. Unfortunately for you, he’s entirely too observant, and more than willing to call you out for it.
“Have you been crying?”
Like a deer in the headlights, your head whips towards him, wide-eyed. Caught.
The blonde frowns. “Do you have a moment after class before your internship?”
You nod, sighing as you give in, frazzled nerves dissolving. You’re not sure why you bother trying to hide when it comes to him. He’s known you too long, and he’s always been perceptive.
As the professor begins the lecture, you dial in, doing what you can to give your full attention to the subject. You can’t afford another day of catch-up, not when you’re still behind.
When the professor dismisses the lecture hall, you lean back in your seat, dropping the back of your head onto the plastic backrest. With a yawn, you run your hands through your hair, before dropping them to hang at your sides.
Kento’s presence beside you remains steady as he allows you a moment to sort out your thoughts. Your gaze trails across the ceiling, resting on a water stain. You recall thinking those were coffee stains when you were a kid. In hindsight, that doesn’t make much sense.
When you remain unmoving for a minute too long, Kento finally gives you a push. “Care to start with the elephant in the room?”
Shutting your eyes, your brows knit together. “Sukuna?”
“In a sense. What happened with the trial? I didn’t get the chance to ask when I saw you on Friday.”
Shrugging in place, you shake your head. “His step-mom had the whole thing rigged. I don’t think it would have mattered what he did.”
“I see.”
“The kids were devastated,” you murmur, blinking your eyes open as your gaze finds more deformities in the otherwise uninteresting ceiling, “and really scared.”
Kento’s expression remains aloof as he hums in understanding. “And Sukuna?”
You finally tilt your head towards the blonde. You’re in a frazzled enough mood to question whether or not he truly cares about Sukuna’s well-being, but you have no right to be rude when your friend has only ever shown compassion for you. Sighing, you stare back at the ceiling, clasping your hands in your lap.
Hesitating, your lips purse. You’re in no position to be telling Kento the details of Sukuna’s life, but you’re also desperately in need of some support yourself. As much as you appreciate Toji and Uraume, what you really need is a girls’ night (featuring Kento), but you’re not sure whether you have the time to spare for that.
“I don’t know,” you admit. “I mean- I know he’s doing bad. He didn’t sleep between the trial and the hand-off of the kids.” As your neck starts to get sore, you sit up, staring at your fiddling thumbs in your lap. “I haven’t heard from him since before the hand-off, though.”
“And you’re worried?” He confirms.
Nodding, you sigh softly. “I tried texting and calling.”
“Well, surely you’ll see him at work today,” Kento offers, though you’ve already considered that.
“Hopefully. I don’t know,” you admit. You have half a mind to think he might take some time off, or just not show up at all.
“And you?”
You swipe your tongue across your bottom lip as Kento turns in his seat to better see you. “I’m so behind,” you murmur. The dark circles underlining your eyes feel heavy with the admission. You’d only missed a couple of days, but the truth is that you’ve spent so much time concerning yourself with Sukuna’s affairs that even your time spent studying was wasted on zoning out.
Kento’s sharp auburn eyes flicker between yours. “I meant how are you handling what’s going on with Sukuna, but something tells me the tears weren’t shed over him. Would that be right?”
Your chest slowly rises in a long, exasperated inhalation. “Not this time,” you sigh. “I got some wires crossed and forgot to submit a paper last night. I thought it was due on Wednesday.”
Kento frowns. “I assume it was for your Copy Editing class?”
You nod.
“What was it worth?”
“Thirty percent,” you murmur, blinking your eyes rapidly as you feel tears of stress welling in your eyes. “I don’t know how I was so stupid, I usually have everything right in my calendar, and double-check and-”
“Hold on,” Kento interrupts before you can spiral as you begin to ramble and blame yourself. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Have you had the opportunity to speak with your professor about it yet?”
“Well- no, but he’s pretty strict, and I’m a scholarship student,” you mumble doubtfully, finding yourself picking at your nails.
The very best is expected out of you, you’ve had no issue upholding that until this semester.
“Strict or not, life happens,” Kento points out, not hesitating to wrap his fingers around your wrist and tug your hands apart to prevent you from picking at your nails. He pulls his hands back to his lap with a pointed stare, scolding you with only a look. “I think he would be willing to consider your perspective if you simply explain.”
“I can’t just tell him what’s going on with Sukuna.”
“You can’t allow yourself to fail to spare his feelings, either,” Kento points out evenly, crossing his legs.
Your gaze falls to your lap. “I guess you’re right,” you murmur. “I’ll try to talk to my prof tomorrow.”
Nodding in satisfaction, your friend nods at your side. “And your internship?”
Your eyes widen. “Wait- What time is it? I think I need to leave.”
Pulling his wrist up, Kento calmly recites the time from his wristwatch. “Ten.”
“I’m gonna be late.” You move in a rush to shove your textbook and laptop into your bag, pulling on your coat with one hand at the same time.
You pause for the briefest of moments as Kento catches your attention with your name. “What is it?” You ask, returning to packing up as you zip up your bag and toss it over your shoulder.
“You’ll be alright if you’re a couple of minutes late.”
“I-” you hesitate as you get to your feet. “- I really want to make a good impression.”
Getting to his feet, Kento pushes his belongings into his bag at a much more reasonable pace. “I can sympathize with that, but you also need to take care of yourself,” he points out.
Squeezing your bag strap on your shoulder, your brows draw together. You know all-too-well that you’ve been neglecting some much needed self-care time and relaxation, but life isn’t about to slow down and wait for you. You can catch up later.
“Let me walk you to your car.”
Nodding, you follow after him as he leads to way down the stairs of the lecture hall and out into the spring air.
The sun is peeking through the clouds, but a glum feeling still seems to cling to the air. Or maybe you’re just projecting your stress into the clouds, you can’t be sure. Either way, the chirping of birds and buzzing of the returning insects doesn’t carry the same welcoming feeling of spring that you’re accustomed to.
Falling into step with you, Kento takes the opportunity to gently pat your shoulder. “Breathe,” he soothes, remaining as a steady presence from your childhood. If there’s one thing Kento excels in, it’s his ability to assess a situation and act accordingly to find the best outcome, one of the many benefits of having a psychiatrist as a mother. He watches as you suck in a breath, taking a moment to slow down. “How are the rest of your classes going?”
“I- um-” you hesitate, stumbling over your foot and barely managing to catch yourself in the process. Attempting to walk off the embarrassment of tripping, you brush your coat off and stand straight once more. “Um-”
Kento moves to stand in front of you and stops, forcing you to slow down for a moment, to catch your breath and your spiraling thoughts. Tilting your chin up to look at him, you find his brow furrowed, the first signs of disquiet written across his features. “Take a breath,” he encourages you again.
Taking a deep breath, you force the thought of being late for work out of your mind for now, blowing air from your pursed lips in a sigh.
“Good. Now tell me, what’s going on?”
Chewing on your lip, you avoid Kento’s gaze. “I’m kinda worried about my scholarship,” you admit quietly, wrapping your arms around yourself.
The blonde frowns. “Are you that far behind? How many classes did you miss?”
Wrapping your arms around yourself, you shrug. “Not that many,” you shake your head. “But my Public Relations and Marketing class had a presentation that I didn’t know about from a publishing house and I don’t know how I’m supposed to catch up on that and I’m worried-”
“Hey.” Kento interrupts as you begin to spiral. “It’s okay. Have you had the chance to speak with that professor?”
“Well, no-”
“Then take a breath,” he urges. “One step at a time.”
You nod slowly, taking his advice.
“Has the Financial Aid Office or an Academic Advisor reached out?”
“Not yet.”
“Then you’ll be okay.” Kento smiles reassuringly, his cool and calm demeanor soothing your frayed nerves a bit. “I’ll help you work through it, how does that sound?”
Your shoulders fall in defeat as you nod, accepting his help. “You’re a lifesaver, thanks Ken. Are you sure you won’t fall behind?”
A chuckle rumbles within his chest. “I’m ahead,” he admits, not as a boast but to reassure you. “Besides, not everyone has a…” he searches for words, “dear friend in need of help quite as you do. I know you’re often busy.” His tone takes on a chiding edge, a certain knowing gleam in his eyes.
As your nerves begin to settle, you hide your face at his teasing, pushing past him to continue on your way to your car. “Don’t say it like that,” you groan, earning a chuckle from Kento. As aloof and stoic as he is, the man can be far too much of a smartass for his own good.
“No? Am I wrong?”
There it is.
“I- No- I mean-” You stammer over your words, giving him a shove.
He chuckles once more, his calm demeanor never faltering. “I see your feelings haven’t changed.”
You continue to avoid his gaze, walking a bit faster.
“I don’t dislike him, you know.”
You pause, turning to face Kento again. “Even after the whole-” you make a motion in the air, flailing your hands around pointlessly.
“Yes, even after the fight.”
You blink, eyes narrowing just a smidge as you wait for him to elaborate.
He continues walking as he replies. “Sukuna is many things. Dense, egotistical, and often careless, to name a few.” He casts a glance in your direction. “I do dislike how he treated you,” he states plainly. “However, I’m willing to look past that and let bygones be bygones if that’s what you wish. I know you care for him, and I trust your judgement. If you’re willing to give him another chance, then I’m not one to hold my personal thoughts against him.” Kento rolls his shoulders back. “I can certainly respect what he’s going through, and I’m willing to bet that a lot of his prior behavior can be attributed to unfortunate circumstances.”
You’re silent for a moment as you contemplate his words. There’s something incredibly heartwarming about the way your friend has the ability to cast aside his judgement in favor of your well-being. Hell, you aren’t even sure there are words to really put into perspective just how emotionally intelligent and mature he truly is.
His support is almost too much.
If you weren’t so busy processing the very genuine care behind his words, you might have teased him for sounding like his mother… Maybe another day.
For now, you’ll just bask in the warmth that his friendship brings, unable to help a genuine smile.
“I… Appreciate that, Nanamin.”
He winces slightly at the childhood nickname, though he chooses not to comment. “Of course. Which reminds me, how exactly are you handling the loss of his brothers?”
As your car comes into sight, you shrug, brushing off the question. “They’re not my brothers.”
Before you can get close enough to escape into your car, Kento grips your forearm to stop you. “Perhaps not, but it’s not that simple, is it?” He inquires, the deep auburn of his eyes flickering around your face as though he can read every little twitch of your features. “You see him as family, do you not?”
You avoid his gaze, staring at the ground as you attempt to put your thoughts into words. “Sukuna doesn’t feel that way about me, I don’t have any right-”
Dropping your forearm now that he has your attention, Kento shakes his head. “I’m stopping you there. I have my own thoughts about Sukuna’s feelings towards you, but you have every right to see his brothers as family. Would you not consider him one of your closest friends?”
Tilting your head at the way Kento mentions Sukuna’s feelings towards you, your lips purse. “Wait, what do you mean? What do you think about Sukuna’s feelings for me?”
Your friend takes a pause, weighing exactly how much or how little he wants to say in the case that he could be wrong. “I don’t want to get your hopes up, so take this with a grain of salt,” he warns, “but he seems happy around you.” It’s not exactly the admission you were expecting, you know that much to be true. Still, he continues. “I think for someone handling as much as Sukuna is, the fact that he seeks not just your support in his time of need, but your attention outside of that, is worth a lot more than you realize.”
Your heart palpitates at the mere thought of Kento’s words being true. So much for a grain of salt. You’re practically clinging to the words like a lifeline.
You can’t even begin to count how many nights you’ve spent staring at the ceiling wondering if things have changed. Wondering if maybe the reason he so adamantly seeks your touch and company is because things have changed, but every time you’re reminded of one thing.
He rejected you.
And if you’re being honest with yourself, second-guessing his feelings now is easier on your heart than facing another rejection, no matter how much more resilient you’ve gotten over the months.
Kento brushes the words aside as though they don’t carry the weight of the world. “Now, wouldn’t you consider him one of your closest friends?”
You nod, not trusting your voice as Kento finally leads the way along the final stretch of campus between you and your car.
“Then, I think it’s reasonable to see them as family. You have every right to be upset.” He stops as he reaches your car. Robotically, you search for your keys in the front pocket of your bag, chewing mindlessly on your lip, lost in thought. “Hey.”
You whip your head around to face him, blinking as you return to the present.
“Get out of your thoughts. I told you to take what I said with a grain of salt,” he teases lightly, shaking his head. “I just want you to know that it’s okay to be going through a tough time, yourself.”
Willing yourself to stay in the present, here with Kento, you sigh. “You’re right.” Climbing into the driver’s seat of your car, you start the engine. “This helped a lot. Thanks, Ken.”
“Of course,” he nods. “Let me know when you have some time, I’ll help you study.”
“You’re the best,” you pout up at him. “I’ll see you later?”
He nods, though his hand remains on the door so that you can’t close it. “That reminds me, Satoru organized a dinner at the bar across from his place on Friday. You missed the discussion at lunch last week, but you’re invited. You should come, I think it would be good for you.”
Inhaling a long, deep breath, you nod. “You’re probably right. Yeah, I’ll try to make it.”
“Bring Sukuna.”
“What?” Your brow furrows as you regard your friend from where he leans over your car door. “But Shoko’s still mad, and Satoru doesn’t like-”
“They’ll live. I think it would be good for you to spend some time with your friends, and I know he’s a part of that for you.”
“Are you sure?”
The blonde hums affirmatively. “I’m sure he could use a distraction.”
Staring out your windshield at the row of cars parked ahead of you, you find yourself nodding. “I’ll try.”
“Good. Drive safe.”
“I will.” Before shutting the door as your friend stands upright, you shoot him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Kento.”
He simply smiles as you make your way home to change before work.
You’re exactly eighteen minutes late when you barrel through the door of your office, earning a few stares as you pant when you collapse into your chair in Yuki’s office. She raises a brow at you, glancing at the time.
“Girl, how many times do I need to tell you that you can be late?”
Your chest heaves dramatically as you shake your head. “I need to make a good impression,” you breathe between heavy pants.
“No one’s counting twenty minutes against you,” she quips with a smirk, tapping the edge of her screen where her clock would be with her pen. “You’re still in school, anyway. Everyone knows you’ve got shit going on,” she shrugs, resting her elbow on the table as she leans on the ball of her palm.
Do you ever.
“I know, but-” you pause, unable to find a truly good reason behind your rush to get to work.
“Relax. Maya’s not here right now and I’m your boss, so-” she cuts herself off with a carefree shrug, picking up her coffee. 
Your eyes trail to the corner of your desk where, for the past month or so, your café order has been waiting for you, courtesy of Sukuna. The spot is empty, and usually on the days where it is, Sukuna wouldn’t be far behind, with the beverage in-hand or an invite to join him at the café.
Today is the second day since he began at the publishing house where that hasn’t been the case. The only other day was last Thursday, when he couldn’t be at work and chose to spend the day with his brothers.
Your lips purse at the thought and you twist in your seat to peek out the door. His office is shut, the window that offers a peek into his little nook of the office has blinds shuttered, with no way to tell whether he’s inside or not.
Yuki raises a brow as you turn your attention back to your desk. “No coffee today, huh? You two back to being ex-friends?” She teases, the reasoning behind Sukuna’s absence last week unbeknownst to her.
Your face falls as you open your laptop, sighing as you catch a glance at the clock. It’s not even eleven and it feels as though you’ve had a full day’s worth of stress already.
Though, maybe starting out the day with the realization that you missed a deadline and crying over it should have been the first sign that today would be a bad day.
“No, we’re good,” you assure Yuki. “It’s just been a tough few days,” you admit, omitting any further information.
Sensing your earnestness, Yuki sits upright, her expression morphing to one of sympathy. “Well, if you need anything, I’m here.”
“Thanks,” you smile, grateful when she lets you put your focus into your work. It serves as a valuable distraction from everything on your mind. Between your missed deadline, your less-than-ideal pace of catching up in your classes, and Kento’s words echoing in the recesses of your mind like some sort of mantra you can’t escape, the moment of genuine focus doesn’t come without difficulty.
Still, you’re able to finish up some edits on your current work and send it along for review to Yuki, who pouts dramatically at you, before deciding to head to the lunch room.
Your heels click on the floor as you make your way out of the office, a bag filled with your lunch held within your palms as you find yourself pausing just outside of your destination. No one is in the lunch room just yet, and your eyes trail to the right where Sukuna’s office lies.
No sound comes from within, and you figure he likely isn’t there, but your curiosity gets the better of you. Twisting on your heel, you find yourself gingerly knocking at the door, hoping, praying, that your friend is within. Any opportunity to check on him that might ease even an ounce of your worries would go a long way for your mental well-being.
When there’s no answer, you chew on your lip as you stare down at the handle, testing whether the room is unlocked as you pull it down. The door clicks as it unlatches, creaking open with a squeak of its hinges.
You peer through the gap, blinking at just how dark it is within the office. The blinds are pulled shut not just in the windows that he shares with the interior of the publishing house, but the windows to the outside as well. The only hint of light is what peeks through the blinds, slivers of the outside world cascading over the surfaces within. The stillness of the air within offers a small corner away from the clacking of keys and scribbling of pens, but what you don’t expect are the soft snores accompanying it.
Pushing into the office, your eyes widen at the state it’s in, and who’s at the center of it all.
Paper is scattered across the floor, along with a couple of pens and some paper clips, but hunched over the desk fast asleep in the heart of the room is your friend. His soft snores penetrate the air, his head resting on his forearms, crossed beneath his face, a thin sheen of sweat slick on his exposed skin. His hair is disheveled and his shirt is wrinkled and pleated more than usual. He’s surrounded by a multitude of paper cups, enough to say he should probably be awake right now with the amount of caffeine he’d pumped into his system.
Your heart pangs at the sight. You honestly hadn’t expected him to be here at all, you’d figured that he would stay home and take some time to himself, maybe focus on his meeting with the lawyer tomorrow, but that isn’t the case at all. He must have attempted to bury himself in his work, unable to slow down for even a moment.
You shut the door behind you, careful not to make a sound as you set your lunch on the edge of his desk and lean down to pluck the paperwork off of the floor. You can just barely make out Sukuna’s writing scrawled across some of the pages, mostly detailing edits he wants to make on his own work, but one in particular catches your eye.
One of the pages is crumpled, it looks as though Sukuna must have had the intention of tossing it out, before he flattened it to use as a notepad. Lazily scrawled across the page is a variety of equations and calculations, with titles beside each total.
Groceries. Rent. Internet. Phone Bill. Lawyer.
The calculations beside the scrawl of ‘Lawyer’ are crossed out a number of times, each number higher than the last. Dread settles in the pit of your stomach as even the final number is scratched out. You can’t make out exactly how much it is, but it’s well in the tens of thousands at this point based on the amount of digits he’s scratched out.
Frowning, you tuck the page within the rest of the paperwork, uneasiness settling in your chest as you get back to your feet. Delicately setting the paper on the edge of the desk, you chew on your lip as you begin popping lids off of each of the empty cups of coffee, stacking the paper cups within one another and tossing them all out.
Gathering the pens and paper clips on the floor, you set those where they belong in a small cup on his desk as well while you contemplate whether you should wake him. On one hand, you want him to sleep, but on the other hand…
His poor back. And neck. He should be home if things are this bad.
Your throat tightens as you make your decision, slowly approaching the man’s desk. Setting your hand gently on his bicep, you shake him softly.
Sukuna groans, his face immediately twisting into a deeply grumpy scowl as he swats you away. You pull your hand back, grimacing as he shuffles and turns his head away from you. “Fuck off,” he mutters.
Good thing you found him and not your boss.
“You should go home and get some rest,” you try to encourage the mostly-asleep man, praying your voice may rouse him from his fatigued state somewhat.
He groans, letting out a breath as he peeks an eye open to see you standing over him. He squints hard as you pull him from his slumber and you swear there’s an almost cartoon-ish bubble popping over his head as his sleep is interrupted.
He pushes up into a seated position, leaning heavily on his forearms. The remnants of sleep remain indented in his cheek as the outline of the fabric of his shirt dimples his skin. Yawning, the man leans back in his chair, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand before pushing his long hair from his vision.
“What do you want?” He grumbles from behind his hands as he rubs them over his drained features in an attempt to wake up. He’s clearly bone-tired and very grumpy now that you’ve awoken him, you can’t imagine he’s intentionally throwing an attitude around with you.
“I came to check on you,” you express, tilting your head to the side in an attempt to get a better look at him in the low lighting. “I didn’t think you’d be here today.”
Sukuna huffs, leaning forward as he rests his forehead on his knuckles, propped up by his elbow. His gaze is trained on the wood grain of his desk. “What time is it?” He mutters out the question, casting your concerns aside.
“Almost noon.”
“Noon,” he repeats, unmoving. “Tuesday?”
“Um- Yeah,” you affirm, your brow furrowing at his reaction.
He lets out an exasperated huff. “Shit,” he mutters under his breath. Dazed, he raises his head, finally getting a look around his office as he begins to come to, though he’s still squinting, even in the low light. You can just barely make out tears on his lash line as he yawns.
Your lips purse as realization passes over you. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep here,” you mumble.
“You cleaned up,” he mutters, ignoring you.
“I- Yeah. Sukuna, you didn’t sleep here, did you?” You push again, taking a step towards his desk.
“It was just s’posed to be a nap,” he grumbles, tapping on the screen of his iPad and squinting harder as the time flashes up at him. “Christ.”
Blinking at him in shock, you can’t help but go back to the subject that he keeps on frustratingly brushing off.
“You didn’t go home last night?”
Finally processing your concern, he stares you down. “No.”
“Why not?”
Sighing heavily, he massages his temples, fighting off an oncoming headache. “Had deadlines to meet n’ needed money to meet with the lawyer tomorrow,” he mumbles out an explanation.
Blinking in horror at the immediate repercussions of losing his brothers, you feel your worries twist in your stomach and lurch up to your throat. Sukuna can play off as much as he wants that he’s just trying to catch up, but you can see within the crimson of his irises that he’s lost. Trying to find some sort of purpose, something to do.
And you get it.
It happened to you when the two of you fought. When you had to relearn your own hobbies and allow yourself to enjoy your spare time once again, but this is beyond that. This isn’t a few months’ worth of friendship and constant time spent together, this is a man who’s spent years with no spare time, skipping out on sleep in favor of providing for his brothers. This is a man who taught himself to thrive under pressure for the sheer sake of survival.
Now, the pressure remains, but his time is tenfold. How is anyone meant to unlearn a work ethic so ingrained into their system at the snap of a finger?
When you’re busy with life’s obligations, it’s easy to be willing to lose sleep to find time for yourself and your passions, but when that life is ripped from the fabric of your being, it feels downright wrong to spend any spare time indulging in oneself.
And for someone like Sukuna, someone who feels he’s failed everyone around him, that feeling only increases tenfold. It exists on the outer edges of his psyche, sticking to him like glue and threatening to pull him under. It’s a painfully suffocating way to live.
Swiping your tongue across your lower lip, your gaze falls to the blinds. “Can I open those?” You ask, pointing behind him.
He grunts, the barest of shrugs following it.
Moving past him, you pull the blinds open on his window, letting the overcast light pour into the room. Sukuna rubs his eyes behind you, squinting to adjust to the light.
Standing behind him, you frown. “Why don’t you go home?”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?” You push, your brow furrowing with how painfully stubborn this man is.
“Missed almost a week. Gotta make up for it,” he replies almost robotically, rolling his neck. It pops as he picks up his iPad, not sparing a moment as he gets back to it.
Making your way back around to the front of his desk, you worriedly take in his features as daylight streams in, illuminating the surfaces of his office. The thin sheen of sweat remains on his skin, clinging to his forehead in a way that makes him look sickly. Paired with a gaunt and empty expression and dark circles under his eyes that resemble bruises, you can only imagine the pain he’s going through.
“When was the last time you ate?”
Sukuna’s gaze rises slowly, before trailing to the side as he considers your question. Sighing, he rubs his forehead. “Fuck,” he mumbles. “Dunno, princess. I had a protein bar at some point last night.”
Your gut twists in further horror at the revelation. “You’re gonna make yourself sick,” you mumble.
He lowers his hand from his forehead, staring blankly at you as he remains silent. His eyes flicker across your features as you stand your ground. When you don’t receive a response, you move to the edge of his desk, digging into the bag you’d left on the surface when you entered the room. Pulling out your lunch, you set it on the desk and slide it across to him.
“I’m not eating your lunch,” he gruffs, staring at the tupperware.
“You’re not. I packed it for you.”
Anyone else might present such a fact as defiance, but Sukuna knows you too well. It’s done out of the kindness of your heart, because you hate that he never brings lunch. Since the day you first shared your lunch with him, of course he’s taken notice that you always seem to conveniently have too much food, it’s only now that you’re acknowledging it not as too much food, but as a purposeful decision to bring extra for him.
He swallows hard, his adam’s apple bobbing as he stares down at the tupperware. You plop yourself down in a chair in front of his desk, leaning back as you begin eating your leftover pasta salad, forcing Sukuna to sigh. Languidly, he frowns as he takes a hold of the tupperware, popping it open to leftover pizza. The smell alone is enough to make his stomach grumble, and he allows himself to give in, leaning back in his chair.
The room is silent aside from the sound of your fork against plastic as you eat. As hungry as his stomach made him sound, Sukuna struggles to find an appetite, eating in slow motion. You finish far before him, snacking on some fruit you’d packed alongside the two meals. You offer him some, but he shakes his head.
Between bites, you find yourself watching the uncharacteristic way that Sukuna moves. It doesn’t seem like he’s given up. He wouldn’t be working so hard even now if he had, but everything from the way he carries himself to the empty look in his eyes is worse than anything you’ve seen from him over the course of the past few months.
This isn’t distance, or being lost in his own head, this goes beyond that. It’s as though defeat is battering him down and even if he refuses to fall, his body and mind are still taking the brunt of the damage.
“How did yesterday morning go?”
Sukuna stops dead in his tracks, his hand hovering over another slice of pizza. He bites down on his lip as the memory of Yuji screaming out for him is enough to make him shudder. He sucks in a shaky breath, feigning nonchalance as he grabs the slice.
“Fine,” he gruffs, staring blankly at the desk in front of him.
You blink, taking in how tense his jaw is as he forces another bite of food into his mouth. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see through his lies. Either way, he obviously doesn’t want to talk about it, so you move on to your next concern. “Are you okay, Kuna?”
His chewing pauses as the hair on the back of his neck stands on end. He blinks, his gaze still trained blankly on his desk as memories flood his mind of the meaning behind the nickname so dear to his brothers, and now to you.
He grits his teeth, grinding them together hard as his expression hardens. He doesn't spare you a glance as his anger simmers just beneath the surface. As the pain and fear both caused by his loss clash within his mind, his grip on the pizza tightens.
His morphing expression and sudden frozen stance cause you to tilt your head at him. “Kuna?”
He knows it’s not intentional. God damn it, he knows.
But fuck if the continued use of his nickname doesn't poke and prod at that growing fear of losing his own identity. But if he doesn't let you call him that stupid nickname he used to hate (maybe even still does), then who is he, really?
Swallowing, he slowly returns to his meal, though his gaze never once moves from the desk. Trained emptily on the deep wooden grain beneath his forearms. He flexes his jaw, the tight muscles aching from the pressure he put them under. “I’m fine.”
The words almost sound as though they choke him. Worrying your lower lip between your teeth, you search for anything you can do to find answers, to find a reaction, to find any signs of life within him.
Your stare brings Sukuna’s crimson irises up from the table, his vision catching on the way you chew on your lower lip. He doesn't have the mental fortitude right now to consider the way his gaze hangs on the movement, or the way he has to forcibly tear his gaze away.
He grabs the last piece of pizza as silence continues to permeate the air. It’s not the usual comfortable one, either. It hangs as heavy and thick as the fog in his brain, clinging to you both with the weight of Sukuna’s situation.
There's more to it, though. You’re tense too, more so than usual, now that Sukuna can get a better look at you. Whatever it is that hangs over you, it goes beyond concern regarding his thinly veiled lie of how he’s doing. His brow furrows as his thoughts seem to stall.
He actually considers slamming his head against the desk in an effort to clear his thoughts, but even with the fog of weariness clouding his brain, he knows that’s stupid. 
Clearing his throat, he rests his arm against his desk, the remainder of the pizza you brought him held between his fingers. “You alright?”
“Hm?” Your brow raises, his words taking a moment to register when he pulls you from your thoughts. “Oh- yeah, I’m good!” You shoot him a reassuring smile, your eyes crinkling at the corners as you feign your own well-being. You don’t need to give Sukuna any reason to worry.
His eye twitches, but he drops the subject. Whether he believes you, or he’s too tired to argue, you can’t be sure.
FInishing up your fruit in silence, you cast a glance at the time, packing your lunch back up into the tupperware and tossing it into the tote bag you brought it in. “I should get back to work, but I’ll be back at five sharp because I’m taking you home,” you tell him in the most authoritative voice you can muster. He opens his mouth to retort, but you interrupt before he can get a word in. “See you in a bit.”
With that, you slip out the door before he can argue with you, leaving him in his office in silence.
On the walk back to your desk, you fall into step with Yuki, who happens to be returning from lunch at the same time.
“Hey, where’d you disappear to?” She inquires with a tilt of her head. Her blonde hair cascades to the side as she curiously regards you.
“I was having lunch with Sukuna,” you explain, pointing a thumb over your shoulder. “I went to check on him, he slept here overnight,” you grimace.
“You’re kidding.” Yuki casts a glance back at his office, the door slightly ajar from how you’d left it. “Was he really behind, or something?”
You shrug. “He didn’t give me much of an explanation, he just mentioned deadlines.”
Yuki shakes her head. “Poor guy. He didn’t even take that much time off.”
“Yeah… I’m gonna take the bus home with him.” You nod to yourself. “At least then I can make sure he gets some sleep in a bed.”
“Wait, does he at least have a couch in his office to sleep on?”
You shake your head.
“Oh my god, I can feel his back pain from here,” she winces in horror, rubbing her shoulder at the thought.
You chuckle quietly to yourself. “It’s not like he’d fit on a couch anyway.”
“You have a point,” she agrees, chuckling alongside you as you settle into your desk to work for the afternoon.
It passes quickly, even with a multitude of distractions, courtesy of your brain’s ability to cling to every concern like you owe it money. The amount of times you find yourself re-reading some of the paragraphs in an effort to actually understand the text laid out for you says a lot about your own well-being. It’s not exactly easy to edit when your mind keeps jumping back between Sukuna’s exhausted expression and the paper you missed the deadline for.
Still, you manage to make it through the day without falling behind, which is a relief because you’re not sure if you could handle falling behind on work as well as school.
Packing your laptop into your bag and shutting off your monitor, you wish Yuki a good night as you cross the office to get Sukuna.
When you push his door open, you find him hunched over his iPad with a concentrated expression and a multitude of printed pages and pencil sketches spread across the table. You tilt your head to get a better look at some of them as Sukuna works away, not even acknowledging you.
None of the art strewn across his desk is in a style you’re used to seeing from him. Most of his art for the covers that you’ve seen tends to be in one of two different styles. Either a character with rounded features and bold lines, similar to how he draws for his brothers to color, or in a painterly style reminiscent of old children’s novels. What lays across his desk, however, is a variety of different styles.
“Trying out something new?” You query, finally gaining his attention as his eyes flicker up to you, before he glances at the clock in the corner of his screen.
“Somethin’ like that,” he grumbles out in reply. “Gimme a moment.”
You nod, peering over his desk curiously to catch a glimpse of his current piece. You can’t decipher what project the cover is for based on what he’s done so far, but it’s also a far stretch from his usual art. Bold lines and equally bold colors come together to make a heavily stylized car on a stretch of road with cacti dotted along the background.
It’s gorgeous, but unusual.
“Nosy,” Sukuna mutters, meant to be a playful dig at your curiosity, though it lacks any lilt that could be seen as teasing, coming across more like an irritated grunt.
“Sorry,” you mumble, taking a step back.
“I’m kidding, princess. I don’t care if you look,” he sighs, shutting his iPad off and tucking it in his bag.
“Oh,” you frown, having a tough time reading him as he stands up to pull his jacket on. Raking his fingers through his hair, he pushes it back to the best of his ability, though it still lays in a disheveled manner on his head.
Without another word, Sukuna comes up behind you, nudging you along to lead the way to the bus stop. He remains close behind you as you reach the stop in silence, hands in his pockets as he stares at nothing in particular on the horizon while you take a seat on a bench as you await transit.
“What’s got you trying so many different styles?” You query, peering up at the nearly seven-foot-tall man.
He scratches at the stubble dotting his chin, shrugging. “Just felt like time, I guess.”
You catch the distant glaze that shimmers in his eyes, the way his pupils shrink as they flicker aimlessly from side to side, taking in the buildings across the road. There’s more to this, more to his weary expressions and empty replies, but he’s made it clear you aren’t getting anything out of him.
He’s strangely put-together in comparison to the state you had expected to find him in.
Sure, he’s not all there and unwilling to talk, but you had honestly expected mania. You’d been mentally preparing yourself for monumental anxiety and anger, converging into one horribly pissed off man.
But he just seems exhausted. You can sympathize with that, but you have yet to decide whether this version of Sukuna is more or less worrisome than the man who hides his emotions behind anger.
Moving along, you continue to try to create conversation. “Hey, do you want to go out on Friday? A group of us are going to the bar, you should come.”
“Nah, I’ll just-”
“Come on, it’ll be fun!” You attempt to encourage him. “I got sent the details earlier today. Toji, Uraume, and Atsuya will be there.”
“I’m good,” he declines again.
“Please, Kuna,” you plead as you get to your feet at the sight of the bus in the distance.
He spares you a glance, his chest rising and falling as he silently sighs. “Your friends won’t want me there.”
“Kento invited you.”
His brow twitches as he eyes you, boarding the bus and heading to the back where there are two available seats across from one another. Sukuna leans against the bus window, inadvertently tangling his legs with yours as you take a seat in the tight space across from him.
“Since when does he want me around?”
You understand Sukuna’s uncertainty regarding Kento’s motives given that you’d shared the same question. “He wants you there since you’re my friend. It’d be nice for you to get to know one another.”
His chest slowly rises before he puffs out a breath. The window gains a layer of fog for a moment, clearing when Sukuna’s gaze slides to the side. He stares out the window silently as he weighs his options. Giving your knee a nudge with his own, he gives in with a huff. “Fine. Text me the details.”
It doesn’t matter how shitty he’s feeling, or how little he really wants to go, the way your expression relaxes and your eyes light up helps to ease his pain. It doesn’t meet his eyes, but his lip quirks up into a hint of a smirk before his temple hits the window as he turns his attention back to the blur of trees, concrete, and passing vehicles.
Sukuna’s never been particularly enthusiastic or energetic- but it’s rare that he simply won’t entertain any conversation. You know it’s been an exhausting few weeks, especially as the world keeps on moving- with or without you both- but it’s equally clear that Sukuna needs a break.
Hell, maybe you both do.
Chewing on your lip, you find yourself watching the passing vehicles, as well. You can’t help but wonder what’s going through Sukuna’s mind, what he’s thinking about, how he’s feeling- you want to ask, but the only type of communication he seems even the slightest bit responsive to is touch.
Your gaze trails down to the space between you, where your legs are leaning against one another. Moving your foot closer to him, your calf brushes his. His gaze doesn’t move from the window, but he does pull his leg back to tangle it around your extended foot.
Maybe he’s at wit’s end, but it brings you solace to know that he still finds comfort within you.
The silence grows comfortable as you find your place within his world, watching passing cars. As your stop approaches, Sukuna lazily lifts his arm to hit the alarm for your stop.
You tilt your head at him. “I’ll walk you to your apartment.” It’s more of a statement than an offer, catching Sukuna’s attention as he sits upright across from you, his gaze trailing your expression.
“Cute,” he hums lowly, “but you should go home.”
Apprehensively, you search for the words to convince him otherwise, but his mind’s made up. As the bus slows when your stop approaches, he lifts your bag from under your seat, setting it on your lap.
“Go home, princess.” He encourages hollowly as he unravels his leg from yours.
As the bus halts and the doors open, you can only frown as he gives you a nudge, practically shooing you out the door. “See you Thursday?” You ask hopefully, pausing just before you hop onto the concrete outside.
He grunts.
Time seems to pass… differently.
You can’t say for sure what it is that gives you that feeling, but you swear everything is either long and drawn out with no signs of speeding up, or everything passes in the blink of an eye. Classes drag on, but honestly you find yourself thankful for it given that you’re actually grasping some of the material now. No longer do they pass before you can really focus with only thoughts of Sukuna, Yuji, and Choso to fill your time, but in place of those thoughts come a dozen other worries.
You hadn’t found the empathy you were hoping for in your professor, who deemed that you would simply need to take a zero on your delinquent paper for what he claimed was your own doing. It meant pouring more time into Copy Editing, on top of what you already had missed.
Your days are long, your nights longer as you study and attempt to make up for lost time with your scholarship potentially at risk.
Work is equally stressful between having another thing to manage and the fact that every time you enter Sukuna’s office, you’re pretty sure one or two more empty coffee cups have miraculously appeared out of thin air. He was going home every night now at the very least, though if you’re being honest with yourself you don’t think that’s because he feels the need to.
After the meeting with his lawyer, he’d grown infinitely quieter. It doesn’t matter how hard you push, it’s damn near radio silence from your friend. He’s not receptive in the slightest to any attempts to appeal to him. You can see it taking a toll on him. You know him well enough to know that each empty cup of coffee is another worry thrown to the wall and another wound he’s forcibly bandaging. It shows in the way his demeanor dulls every time you see him.
If this is what it takes for him to cope, then you suppose it’s better than a world where he’s alone on the washroom floor. If you’re honest with yourself, that image keeps you up at night. You wonder if his nights alone are spent that way now, but he simply refuses to reach out, too caught up in the hollow feeling that surrounds him.
You thank whoever above will listen that he doesn’t bail on your Friday night plans, even if you find yourself feeling as though you should bail. As much as you’re worried about Sukuna, you’re drowning in your own worries now too, which is why Friday night manages to take you by surprise.
Your nose is buried in a textbook when your phone goes off.
5:38 PM Kuna || you taking the bus to the bar
5:38 PM Kuna || ?
It takes a moment for the time to settle in. Shit. You should be leaving right now and you’re sitting in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie with books stacked to your shoulders piled on your desk.
Pushing up from your desk to run and get ready, you type out a quick response.
5:40 PM You || That's the plan!
In a rush to be at least somewhat on time, you miss the message he leaves you that he’s planning on taking the bus with you and that he’ll be there in a few minutes. So, when he texts you that he’s at your place while you’re in the middle of doing your makeup, you’re running to the door with mascara done on one eye.
Swinging it open, you find Sukuna staring down at you with his signature frown, his expression stoic as ever. His hands are tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket, a silver chain laying across his collar bones. If it weren’t for the fact that his demeanor screams exhaustion and his hair is fairly windswept, you’d almost take him for being at ease. Those who don’t know him well may even assume he is.
He raises a brow, his gaze flickering between your eyes.
“Think you missed a spot,” he comments dryly, a hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips as though he can’t see the mascara in your hand.
Playfully rolling your eyes, you step aside to let him in. “Sorry, I missed your text. I’m running a bit behind.”
Sukuna quietly shrugs, crimson irises trailing after you as he watches you head back to finish your makeup. His gaze never falters as he watches you lean over the sink to get a better look in the mirror. Slowly, his vision drops, following the arch of your back until he’s openly staring at your ass.
Catching himself before he can think too much of it, he blinks, clearing his throat.
“Sorry, I’m almost done!” You call out at the sound. He grunts, though he doesn’t mind waiting.
You’re ready only a few moments later after changing into a skirt and a small, red sleeveless collared shirt, moving in a flurry as you gather your phone and belongings, tucking everything into place before leading the way out the door.
Taking the bus together finds you in a familiar position across from Sukuna, who naturally- or maybe even subconsciously- tangles your legs together.
It may be him who usually finds comfort in you, but you find your shoulders relaxing as you smile down at your intertwined legs. For once, you let yourself enjoy his presence too. With everything Sukuna’s going through, you can’t bring yourself to wallow in your own worries around him, but even if he’s unaware, his company does wonders to ease your stress.
Relaxing into the seat, you smile softly at the hardened man whose attention hasn’t left you since you barely made it to the bus in time.
He clears his throat, his expression unreadable as he mutters, “you look good.”
Your cheeks warm, heat rising to the tips of your ears as you tilt your head with a sweet smile. “Thanks, Kuna.”
His brow twitches, but he remains otherwise aloof as ever.
“You look good, too,” you return his compliment as butterflies burst within your stomach. In the moments that follow sweet interactions with Sukuna, there’s usually a wistful feeling that accompanies your longing. One that you know all-too-well as the telltale reminder that he doesn’t return your feelings, but as your heart pounds a little bit faster in your chest, you’re met with something different.
Uncertainty. Maybe even a little bit of hope, no matter how delusional the thought may be as you cling to Kento’s words from earlier in the week. You know better than to cling to what could be nothing more than a dream, though.
“Who’s gonna be at the bar?” Sukuna mumbles across from you, although you’re already only a couple of stops away.
“Shoko and Kento for sure, Satoru organized it, so Suguru and probably Toji will be there-”
“Toji? What does he have to do with Satoru?” Sukuna hums, confusion written across his features.
“Oh-! They’re really close now.”
He snorts. “You’re pullin’ my leg.”
“I’m not.” You shake your head, continuing to list attendees as some sort of pang thrums in Sukuna’s chest. He scowls down at his lap, something akin to hurt, or maybe even jealousy at the thought that Toji’s found someone to take Sukuna’s place. But who is he to judge who Toji spends his time with? It’s not like Sukuna’s been around in almost four years, there’s no one else to blame but himself.
He inhales a long, deep breath, grateful when the bus lurches to a stop a couple of blocks away from the bar and your train of thought comes to a close before you can ask for Sukuna’s thoughts on whatever you’d been talking about. It’d be a lost cause, he had stopped listening after hearing Toji’s name.
The bar is a couple of blocks away from Satoru’s frat house, Sukuna recognizes the neighborhood. Last time he was in the area was the night that the two of you headed to Strip Joint (the chicken place, of course), after leaving the party.
It feels like years ago, yet he thinks that may be the moment when it really sank in just how fucked Sukuna really was. Not just with the weight of the lawsuit and responsibility, but with you, too.
You lead the way to a sports bar, the neon sign shining brightly over the pavement below your feet, illuminating the lot in a red and blue glow. Sukuna holds the door open for you, revealing a bustling bar with the latest pop hits playing from the overhead speakers, while a number of TVs line the walls. Each one is playing whatever games are on, though it seems as though most of the focus is on some football game.
If you had to guess, this was probably Toji’s choice. It’s not as nice as Satoru’s usual choices,  but that just means your wallet gets a break for once.
Bottles of various liquors from around the world line an array of glass shelves across the back of the establishment, a pale and worn counter spread in front of the bartenders. They push drinks across to various patrons, each bottle replaced with a clink as it hits the glass shelf.
Tucked in the corner is a large ‘U’ shaped table with a larger group than you had originally expected.
Suguru, Satoru, Toji, a man you don’t recognize, Uraume, Atsuya, Yu, Kento, Shoko’s friend Iori, Shoko, and finally space for you and Sukuna, last to arrive thanks to your inability to tell time. Your tattooed friend signals for you to slide in first beside Shoko and across from Satoru and Toji. It’s a tight squeeze, leaving your thighs and shoulders brushing.
As you greet your friends, Sukuna silently evaluates the table. He knew his friends began to merge with yours at some point, but even then he hadn’t realized to what extent, as Uraume and Suguru happily converse from across the table as though Toji, Satoru, and one of the business students Sukuna scarcely recognizes as Shiu aren’t sitting between them having a conversation of their own. That feeling from earlier twists within his stomach again as Toji barks a laugh at something the business student says.
Shoving the feeling down, he picks up a menu, scanning it for the cheapest drink with the highest alcohol content.
While most of the table share surprised glances at the sight of Sukuna, Satoru doesn’t hesitate to make his feelings known, much to your dismay.
“I don’t remember sending an invite out to you,” the frat boy pointedly glares across the table, challenging Sukuna’s presence.
It doesn’t matter how many pieces of Sukuna have vanished. It doesn’t matter how many are scattered across the floor, bent, broken, and not worthy of fixing.
Sukuna doesn’t back down from a challenge.
“You gonna cry about it?” His words don’t even have venom, there’s no real ill intent behind them. He’s not having fun rising to the challenge of a fellow student like he would have so many months ago. His words are meant only to keep up the reputation that even at his lowest, he refuses to tarnish.
Satoru, on the other hand, takes the bait. He wants the challenge. You’re pretty sure to some extent they enjoy egging one another on, but there’s no gleam in Sukuna’s eyes this time. He leans back, slumping in the seat with crossed arms as Satoru scoffs.
Ignoring Sukuna’s hollow taunt, he continues. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot you think you get to treat everyone like shit and still show up unannounced.” His voice rises enough that it pulls the rest of the table from their conversations, all eyes on a charged up Satoru and drained Sukuna.
Red irises flicker down to the menu once more as Sukuna prays the waiter arrives soon. He needs a drink to handle Satoru on a good day, but now?
He’s not even angry with the man across the table from him for putting him on the spot in front of everyone. He’s completely devoid of any real opinion over whatever Satoru has to throw at him, because Sukuna knows.
He knows he treated you like shit. He knows he treated Toji like shit. Satoru’s reminder doesn’t open that wound any further, it’s already bleeding at the sight of Toji replacing him (rightfully so).
But Sukuna can’t let Satoru know just how low he’s gotten. He’s too prideful for that, still. “Yeah, lucky me,” he neutrally replies.
Satoru’s brow twitches into a furrow. Sukuna’s replies, although exactly what Satoru was fishing for, aren’t filled with the bravado he’s come to expect. Unfortunately, the frat boy just never knows when to drop something.
“That’s it? Lucky you?”
“Satoru-” Suguru attempts to interrupt, with a hand on his friend’s shoulder, but he’s shrugged off as the white-haired man continues.
“No, fuck that. You think you get to parade around and piss everyone off, then drop out and we’ll all just- what? Forget about it?”
Sukuna’s eyes zero in on Satoru again, a nerve struck at the mention of dropping out. His lip curls into a snarl as he replies. “That’s none of your fucking business.”
“You made it my fucking business when I had to start placing bets on whether or not she’d be crying every day at lunch!” Satoru snaps back, bringing the table to a deathly silence as he points in your direction.
You shrink in on yourself as Sukuna pushes up from the end of the table. “I should go,” he mutters under his breath. Anything else, god, anything else and he might have a retort, but with you sitting beside him as proof of his errors, he doesn’t have it in him to disappoint you by fighting with your friend anymore.
“Satoru, that’s enough,” Kento’s authoritative voice rings out across the table. He fixes the frat boy with a glare, locking eyes with Sukuna who’s one turn of his heel away from leaving. “Sukuna, I invited you. You’re welcome here.”
“What the hell, Kento-”
“Shut up, man,” Toji grunts beside Satoru, nudging him. Fire rages behind his eyes as he watches Sukuna’s gaze round the table, before landing on you. The table’s attention shifts, all pairs of eyes watching a silent exchange.
You stare up at him with a pretty pout. Regardless of Satoru’s (somewhat) good intention to protect you from Sukuna, he’d still called attention to something that you can’t deny. Sukuna had hurt you. Regardless, there’s a plea behind your eyes.
“Stay.”
Sukuna’s never been particularly good at denying you. His gaze flickers to Kento, who gives him a minute nod, and Sukuna takes a seat once more, ignoring Satoru’s glower.
The table returns to chatter after a moment as both men quiet down. You reassuringly nudge your friend beside you, but his attention is given in full to the menu beneath his fingertips as he leans over the table, his forehead on the ball of his palm.
As a waitress pops by to take orders, everyone gets a variety of different cocktails and beer. You order a Moscow Mule, while Sukuna just shrugs and says he’ll have the same. Before the waitress can leave, he stops her and requests Everclear in place of whatever smoother Vodka they may have used.
You may not drink often, but you recognize the name well enough to know what the intention of Everclear is. It tastes like shit, at the cost of being just about one of the most alcoholic drinks you can get in a restaurant.
You blink in surprise at his request, lips parting. “Are you okay?” You whisper, leaning close enough that he can feel your breath fanning his collar.
“Peachy,” he grumbles, clearly still frustrated over the debacle with Satoru.
Shoko, likeminded, leans over to ask you whether he’s okay as well, keeping her voice low as she mutters the question in your ear.
You shrug, sharing her worried glance.
It doesn’t matter that Shoko still isn’t thrilled with Sukuna, ordering Everclear at a friendly get-together after getting into it with Satoru is enough to make anyone’s warning bells sound. “How’s he been lately, anyway?”
Casting a glance at Sukuna, who’s turned towards the TV behind the bar, away from the table, you hesitate. What the hell are you supposed to say to that? ‘Oh, you know. I don’t think he’s slept in a week, I watched him break down multiple times, and- oh! How could I forget? He lost custody of his only family’.
That’ll go over well.
Turning back to Shoko, you lean in close enough to keep yourself out of earshot of the rest of the table. “If you mean towards me, he’s been…” you pause, searching for the right word, “sweet.” You’re not sure if it’s exactly the descriptor that’s the most fitting, but as far as Sukuna goes, he’s been sweet to you.
“And in general?”
It’s a dumb question and she knows it as she sees his Moscow Mule get set on the table, watching in horror as he downs at least half of it without so much as blinking. It could be water for all you know based on his reaction, or lack thereof.
“Scratch that. What the hell happened?” She changes her question as Sukuna leans back against the table, his eyes trained on the football game.
“What didn’t?” You groan as Sukuna drowns his shortcomings in alcohol.
“That bad?”
“Whatever you’re imagining, it’s probably worse.”
Shoko raises a brow. “Well, shit.” She chews on the inside of her cheek, contemplating his well-being. Setting a hand on your forearm, she turns her attention to you. “How are you doing? I feel like you’ve been dodging my texts to hang out.”
Groaning, you lift your gaze to the ceiling as your voice returns to a normal volume. “I’m so sorry about that. I missed a deadline on a paper and I’m super behind.”
“Shit,” she hums thoughtfully, pulling an olive from her drink and popping it in her mouth. The toothpick it was skewered with rests between her lips as she continues. “How behind are we talking?”
“Enough,” you chuckle dryly. “The prof won’t let me make up the paper I missed, so I basically need an eighty-five or higher on the final if I don’t wanna hear from an Academic Advisor about withholding my degree or making me pay for the semester for violating the scholarship’s terms.”
“Asshole,” she scoffs in reference to your professor. “Eighty five, huh? Guess it could be worse.”
You nod. “At least this is my last semester.”
“Lucky,” she quips with a wry smile. “Doesn’t your scholarship help with job placement, too?”
“Mhm. The company that sponsors it has a lot of connections, it’s probably how I got my internship in the first place.”
“I thought you just applied there normally.”
“I did,” you affirm, taking a sip of your drink. “But my applications mentioned that I have a Kamo Corporation scholarship, so they probably just chose me because of that,” you shrug.
“That’s a bleak way of looking at it,” she mutters, shrugging as she downs the first half of her drink. “Do you like it there?”
Your eyes crinkle at the corners as you grin. “It’s great, wait- I need to catch you up on the office drama,” you excitedly tell her, launching into conversation.
The table begins to mellow as alcohol flows through the blood of everyone at the table after the first round of drinks. With the first sip of his second drink of what may as well be disinfectant, even Sukuna loosens up somewhat as you find him leaning a bit closer, his demeanor calm as listens in to your explanation of your shitty coworker Reggie and his antics. He even chimes in every so often to offer a detail about the office, earning the occasional laugh from Shoko and Iori, who joins the conversation as well.
Midway through his second drink, Sukuna even finds himself feeling okay for the first time this week. The haze of liquor enshrouds his mind and blocks out shitty memories, bringing with it a comfortable buzz that allows him to relax. The pain dulls, sedating the voice at the back of his head screaming that he’s a failure, until it’s nearly mute, and with each sip he finds himself chasing the quiet that it brings him.
It’s funny, that in the far corner of a noisy sports bar with some top forties hit blaring over the speakers, he finds a slice of tranquility. By his third drink, he’s even comfortable.
As the conversation shifts to Shoko’s odd classmates and Kento and Yu end up chiming in, you turn to Sukuna.
“How are you feeling?”
Hazy eyes shift towards you as his chin remains leaning on his palm. “Okay,” he replies simply, though it’s the first time he’s sounded convincing in a while.
You inspect his features, but there’s no crease between his brow, no slight downturn of his lips, and no anger hidden within his eyes. He looks at ease. Whether or not that’s something to be happy about, you have yet to decide. Of course you want him to be able to relax and you had figured a night out would do his mental health good, but something tickles at the back of your mind.
Like an itch you can’t scratch, the reminder that he’s casually sipping on Everclear remains there no matter how hard you try to shake it. It’s not exactly something you can ignore, not when he orders his third drink. You eye his glass, uncertainty and concern brimming in your chest.
That’s the equivalent of, what? Six normal drinks? Seven, maybe even eight? All within the span of an hour, and you’re barely halfway through your second.
“Are you sure?”
Sensing your unease, he swirls his cup momentarily, sitting up and nudging you with his thigh. “Positive, princess.”
You can’t help but feel as though he’s chasing answers at the bottom of a bottle. Either that, or he’s searching for a way to cope that doesn’t leave him hollow.
Though, looking at the way his eyes don’t leave you for a moment, you wonder if there’s something deeper to it. Like he’s not just searching for a way to cope without leaving him hollow, but also way to cope without stretching you to your limit. Like he’s trying to spare you from being pulled under by his ocean of problems.
You’ve watched him tear himself apart and offer pieces to those around him until he has nothing left to give, is this the culmination of it all? A man who seeks sedation in order to hide from the fact that there are no pieces of himself to pick up at the end of this all? Because the man who used to only know how to take has given so much that there’s nothing left?
You and Toji hold the last two pieces left of himself. You protect whatever is left of the Sukuna you’ve grown to love, and his connection to Toji remains tense, at the end of the day.
Worst of all, he won’t allow you to give it back, like it’s easier to simply observe what happens around him while he slowly fades away.
Trauma shaped him into a man who reacted with anger out of fear in order to protect himself. At the end of the day, it never mattered how tired he was, he would fight to protect the care and joy he still carried within. When you came along, you provided respite, allowed him the chance to take a breath and relax.
But new trauma tore that away, and as it tears and rips at the shreds of him that remain, you can only watch as the man filled with joy and care disappears, leaving only the anger, the anxiety, and worse still, complete and utter lack of- well- anything at all.
You should be happy to see him relaxed. Hell, you are. It was your first thought upon seeing the tension in his shoulders dissolve, but somehow, this is worse.
Chewing on your lip, you set your hand on his wrist, sliding your fingers beneath the sleeve of his leather jacket. He’s warm, even more so than usual, his eyes sliding down to the feeling of your hand on his skin, smoothing along his tattooed skin. His pupils are so blown his eyes are almost completely void of the familiar crimson.
You know he won’t talk to you about what happened when he lost the kids. No matter how hard you push, he’s locked that memory away and refuses to bring it to light, as though if he dares to let it out, it might hurt him again. But there has to be something going on that you aren’t privy to, because you don’t know how to navigate a world where Sukuna still seeks your comfort, but you don’t know how to provide it.
“How are things going with Ms. Harte?” You query, brow drawn together in concern for your friend as you try to pull answers from him.
Foggy eyes meet yours, flickering down to your lips that are drawn into a frown. Tearing his eyes from your lips by force, he casts a glance around the table to make sure no one is listening. Still, his answer doesn’t give you much to work with.
“Fine.”
It sucks. Everything about his completely numb responses sucks. There’s no bigger, wiser word to be used.
It fucking sucks.
How many times has he brushed you off, this week alone? You can’t say for sure, you lost count the day you found him asleep in his office. But even then, he gave you more to work with than this.
So, what really happened with his lawyer?
“I don’t believe you,” you mutter, causing his drunken numbness to falter. A crease forms between his brows as he evaluates your expression, filled with concern.
His jaw clenches before he takes another sip of his drink. Whatever he’s wrestling with mentally, it dissolves as Everclear numbs him. “Things… don’ look good,” he admits, his words slurring as he stares straight through you. He’s clearly even more drunk than you realized.
“What happened?” You push.
He checks again that no one is listening in. “‘S hard t’ guarantee a fair trial,” he shrugs. “We got three weeks t’ submit a retrial ‘r whatever, but-” he cuts himself off, shrugging again. “Not like we got any new evidence.”
Keeping your voice low, you lean closer to Sukuna. “Are you okay? Like, really.”
He tilts his head to the side, his judgement clouded by enough alcohol to sedate a bear. His eyes take no time in locking onto your lips. “‘M fine.”
Fine. Fine. Always fine.
“God, Sukuna,” you sigh, leaning back in your seat and breaking him from his stupor. “You’re so frustrating. I just wish you’d talk to me.”
His expression doesn’t change as he watches you. You wonder how much of this he can even make sense of in such a state, a slight sway to his movements as he rolls his wrist over the table to motion to you.
“‘M talkin’ to you now.”
Your brow raises at his- well- stupidity, for lack of a better word.
Sighing, you shake your head. You figured his lips would be a bit more loose given how drunk he is, that maybe he might let some sort of detail spill, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
He’s completely and utterly plastered, and- oh. Oh, great. He’s waving the waitress over to order another.
What would that put him at? The equivalent of ten shots within an hour?
This is dangerous, even for a man of his stature, and it;s clear he’s not thinking straight.
“Sukuna, stop-” you tug on his bicep before he can get the words out, shaking your head at her. “Water, please. He’d like water.”
“What? No, I-”
“Water coming right up,” the server nods, catching your drift.
“What th’ hell?” Sukuna growls, turning to face you with a frustrated scowl.
Grabbing a hold of his forearm, you cling to the leather of his jacket. “Sukuna, please. Just have some water in between,” you plead.
Whether it’s the look of concern on your face, or the way he’s completely and utterly distracted by your lips again, he backs down.
You’re not a fool either, you’ve noticed. You’ve noticed each and every time, and your heart stutters and jumps and your hands shake as you try to convince yourself that he’s just drunk. Some part of you, deep down, no matter how much you try to bury it, knows that he thinks you’re attractive. That’s why he kissed you in the first place last year. But that’s not what you want, and you’re not about to let yourself get caught up in those thoughts.
You can’t cling to Kento’s assumptions about Sukuna’s feelings.
Especially not when he’s this drunk.
Begrudgingly, Sukuna sips on the water placed in front of him, finding himself staring at the table as conversation continues on around him. Half of the table is discussing future plans, which he has no desire to contribute to, while the other half is discussing how Satoru is about to become a godfather.
He has even less of a desire to discuss kids, mostly tuning out everyone around him.
“You? Excited to be a godfather?” Suguru quips, amused. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
“It’s not like I’m having my own kid, I’m not ready for that!” He retorts, chuckling behind a glass of something that looks outside of your budget. “But I’d be a good dad,” he nods assuredly.
Toji snorts, amused. “You’re a fuckin’ frat boy,” he points out.
“I mean, yeah, I said I’m not ready yet,” he agrees with a shrug, “but I’ll be a great dad. Better than you,” he teases snidely.
Toji, unaffected, just shrugs. “Yeah, probably.”
It’s not your business, but you’ve seen glimpses of what Toji could be like, and you actually disagree. You keep your mouth shut, regardless.
“I think we can all agree Yu would make a great parent,” Shoko pipes up, directing attention to the blushing man who’s waving his hands dismissively through the air.
“Yeah, and this asshole would be the worst,” Satoru sneers, directing attention towards Sukuna.
The tone of the table drops very suddenly as Sukuna lifts his head from where it rests against the ball of his palm, fixing Satoru with a deathly stare. Half of the table knows. Half of the table is completely unaware.
And the half that knows have eyes wider than a chasm, horror plastered across their features.
“The hell’s that s’posed t’ mean?” Sukuna growls lowly, a newfound venom returning to him, like even alcohol can’t numb him from Satoru’s offensive words.
“C’mon, you’d be the worst here by a-”
Satoru is cut off with a cough as Toji hits him in the chest hard enough to make the frat boy reel back, bewildered. “Toji, what-”
“Shut the fuck up, man,” Toji warns, deathly serious.
Satoru, confused, rubs the spot where Toji smacked him.
“Nah, let ‘im continue,” Sukuna hisses, only leaving Satoru further disoriented.
Unfortunately for the table, the frat boy’s a lightweight, and he’s already had too much to think clearly. Rather than heeding Toji’s warning, he take’s Sukuna’s bait. “It’s not that deep, he’s just an asshole and he’d be just as bad of a dad as he is a friend,” Satoru affronts, having no clue what exactly he’s walked into, even as Toji and Uraume both warn him to stop. But this is Satoru, when does he ever listen?
“You don’ know th’ first thing about me, you prick,” Sukuna barks, his words horribly slurred under layers of inebriation. The table shakes as he stands suddenly. “‘Nd you don’t know th’ first thing ‘bout being a father,” he adds, earning more eyes on your table as he raises his voice enough to garner the attention of other bar patrons.
Suddenly, the football game doesn’t seem nearly as interesting to the onlookers as the giant tattooed man about to square off with the overly cocky and confident Satoru Gojo.
“Sukuna, it’s okay, let’s just-” You ignore the pounding of your heart as you rise to your feet and earn a number of stares yourself, but Sukuna’s burning in his own rage.
The implication behind Sukuna’s words goes right over Satoru’s head as he rolls his eyes. “Oh, and you do? Puh-lease,” Satoru dramatically groans in an effort to get a rise out of Sukuna. “You couldn’t even finish college, how are you supposed to provide for a-”
“Satoru!” You call across the table, placing a hand on Sukuna’s chest to prevent him from lunging across the table and strangling your arrogant friend. “Stop, please.”
For once, Satoru actually listens, if only because he’s somewhat stunned that it’s you stopping him.
“Nah, he’s right,” Sukuna growls, a twisted smirk crossing his lips. He presses against your palm as he leans in, his skin burning with warmth through the thin material of his shirt. You can’t be sure whether it’s from the alcohol or the flames that dance behind his eyes. “Say what y’re thinkin’ since you’re so much better,” he pushes, eyes narrowing. “‘M a womanizer, got fuckin’ daddy issues, can’t stay ‘n school, strapped f’r cash, right?”
Satoru’s lips part, the fun in pushing Sukuna’s buttons dissolving as things become a little bit too real. His gaze slides between the brute and you, searching for answers.
“Kuna, come on,” you plead, pressing harder against his chest, but he either doesn’t feel it or simply doesn’t care in his furious state.
“That’s what y’think, isn’t it?” He hisses, completely ignoring you, blinded by rage. The patrons that surround you have gone deathly silent as even the ambient clinking of glasses and laughter dies from the air. “‘Nd maybe y’re right,” he tacks on, relieving the pressure on your hand as he stands up straight, some form of disdain crossing his face. “I’d be a shit dad.”
Bewildered, Satoru can only stare, his eyes whipping wildly between everyone at the table as though he might be the only one who missed the memo, but there’s a variety of confused stares tucked within your group of friends. Uraume, Toji, Shoko, and Kento all share horrified expressions, but no one else is privy to the turmoil raging within your friend.
Hell, even Shoko doesn’t know the full extent, though you’re sure three shots of Everclear was enough to tip her off to something going on.
“I, uh-” Satoru pauses, shocked into uncertainty. “I didn’t mean-”
“Fuck you,” Sukuna spits with the most clarity you’ve heard in his speech all night, turning on his heel as he fishes for a cigarette in his pocket and slams the bar door open like it owes him money.
Your jaw hangs ajar, heat searing the skin of your cheeks as you flip around to face the table. You’re met with an equal amount of concern and confusion, but Toji seems to be the only one accustomed enough to Sukuna’s outbursts to bring some sense to the table.
“Way to fuckin’ go, asshole,” he grunts, smacking Satoru on the arm.
“What the hell?” The frat boy recoils, his shoulder knocking into Suguru, who seems to come to.
“What just happened?” Suguru voices what everyone is thinking.
Chewing absently on your lip, you cast a glance back at Sukuna, who you can barely make out against the dark background of the night sky outside the door. “I, um-” you stammer, turning back to the table.
“Go after him,” Uraume urges. They give you a reassuring nod when you hesitate. “I’ll be there in a bit.”
Nodding gratefully, you grab your jacket, shrugging it over your shoulders before jogging out the door.
Your friend doesn’t bother to cast you a glance as he leans against the outside of the bar, flicking ash from the end of his cigarette. The embers sputter out on the concrete below as he takes another long drag, exhaling deeply into the air overhead.
“Are you okay?”
Another drag of his cigarette. Another “fine”.
“Don’t give me that. You’re clearly not,” you push, an air of exasperation to your tone. You can’t help it anymore, of course you would get frustrated when he just won’t talk to you.
His eyes flicker down to you now, hazy with the effects of liquor.
“I know things are hard right now, but how many times do I need to tell you that I’m here for you before you listen?”
His gaze shifts down slightly, settling on your lips. When your words begin to sink in, his vision rises again. He takes another drag of his cigarette, holding his breath as the nicotine soothes his frustrations. Between the nicotine and Everclear, he finds himself oddly at ease, unbothered by the events that went down mere minutes ago.
The wounds are already bleeding, Satoru can’t push the knife that much deeper.
He just shrugs, brushing you off. “I feel fine, princess,” he mutters.
“Yeah I bet,” you scoff, staring out at the parking lot. “You’re just drunk.”
His brow furrows, too inebriated to make sense of this whole ordeal. Shouldn’t you be happy that he’s okay? That even after his blow-up with Satoru, he’s calm? So, why the hell are you so upset?
If he was in his right mind, he might get it. He might see just how frustrating he’s being.
But all he finds when he searches for answers is a sea of confusion.
“‘S that so bad?” He grunts. “Y’wanted me here, didn’t you?”
Turning back towards him, you rub at your temples in an effort to calm down. “I did. I do! but I thought…” you trail off, chewing on your lip as you compose yourself, straightening as you face him. “I thought it would be good for you- for both of us- to spend time with friends and have some drinks-”
“That not what’s goin’ on?” He interrupts, smoke coming out in puffs from his lips with each word.
You stop yourself in your tracks, blinking. Last time you saw him drunk, he’d still seemed in tune with his surroundings. His drinks were likely spread out over the course of multiple hours, watered down by a reasonable amount of soda. You’d be willing to guess he hadn’t had the equivalent of eight or so shots that night, though. He’d probably paced himself. Tonight, though, the liquor hit him hard and fast.
“You’ve had like three times as many drinks as the rest of us,” you point out, hoping he’ll read between the lines of your statement.
“So?”
But he’s far too drunk to be expected to do that. “So, you’re gonna black out if you don’t slow down!”
He’s undeniably very drunk, but even in his current state, he knows better than to say what he wants to say.
Which, in case you’re wondering, is another ‘so?’ but he holds his tongue.
Pushing himself up off the wall, he wobbles slightly as he drops his cigarette on the pavement, stomping it out beneath his boot. Like clockwork, he moves to his pocket to light another one, but your nimble fingers wrap around his wrist, stopping him before he can get the cylinder out of his jacket. He stares you down now, his expression unreadable behind droopy lids and the slight flush to his skin.
Your grip on his wrist tightens as you examine his features. He’s so painfully calm now that you find yourself questioning if you imagined his fight with Satoru. Could this even be the same Sukuna?
Day-to-day, you find yourself wondering how different Sukuna will be lately.
Hell, maybe even moment-to-moment.
You know he’s struggling to find himself amidst the maze of his complicated relationship with failure, but it’s like he’s fallen apart and in an effort to put the pieces back together, he’s been left with gaps.
Whatever version of him it is that stands before you now, he’s bitter and detached. Chewing hard on your lip, you smooth your thumb over his tattooed wrist. His muscles tense for an instant before relaxing under your soothing touch, as though he needs it more than he could even know, himself.
Even if it’s barely a sign, you see him then. Somewhere beneath the facade of indifference and haze of liquor, is your friend, terrified to his core over something that he can’t bring himself to talk about.
“What happened back there?” You ask, your entire demeanor softening.
His mind is stuck in a slog, slowed by his inebriation. It takes a moment for your words to settle in his mind.
“He just…” he trails off, his gaze never leaving your face. “Pissed me off.”
You can understand that, you know those two get under each other’s skin. But there’s more to it, and you know that.
“He didn’t know, Sukuna,” you point out. “He was just trying to get a rise out of you.”
Again, a pause as he thinks. “Yuji called-” he trips over his words, running his tongue over his lower lip as he steadies his mind. “- called me ‘dad’ when ‘e left.”
The air stills. The stars don’t twinkle overhead. The rumbling of distant engines comes to an unsettling halt as Sukuna’s muscles tense beneath your fingers. His hand balls into a fist, but whatever mix of anger, fear, and devastation it is that he feels is fleeting. He has nothing left to give. No tears to cry, no anger to let loose.
He’s tired.
Your lips part as horror shakes you to your core. Your grip on his wrist tightens, the air hanging heavy with his confession as it settles in just how much Satoru had accidentally gotten under Sukuna’s skin. Of course, he’s always struggled separating his duties as a brother with his duties as a guardian, but Satoru hadn’t just gotten under his skin.
He’d accidentally pushed the knife deeper.
That’s why Sukuna had blown up, even in his currently indifferent state.
“Kuna…” You breathe, giving him a small tug towards you until you can wrap your arms around his broad frame. He doesn’t move for a moment, blankly staring at you as his mind catches up. That extra moment allows your warmth to envelop him and his shoulders fall as he melts into your embrace, his eyes flickering shut as he holds you tightly.
Time stills around you as Sukuna shifts, his arms snaking tightly around your waist as he leans down to your level. His breath fans your neck as he rests his chin on your shoulder, letting out a long breath. Heat blooms at the base of your neck where his breath tickles you, rising to the tips of your ears. 
You’re sure he can feel, maybe even hear the way your heart races, but he’s too drunk to make heads or tails of it.
“I’m sorry, Kuna.”
He stiffens slightly as he hears his brothers’ voices in the back of his mind, calling out for him. Calling for Kuna. “‘S fine.”
“It’s not,” you pull back and his hands fall to your waist, resting as if they belong there. It certainly doesn’t do your heart any favors to have him holding you so tightly and painfully intimately. Worse still is the way his gaze holds heat that you’d recognize a mile away, but it’s also twisted with confusion. He’s staring at you with brows drawn together as though you’re a puzzle to figure out, but clings to you like you’re all that keeps him from the abyss he’s trapped in.
Feeling nothing is better than feeling everything at once. The intensity of his own emotions drove him to order Everclear in the first place as he struggled to keep up the mask of being okay. While he’ll take the haze it offers over the tumultuous water he’s been treading all week without help, you offer an escape from both.
It’s subconscious, the way he leans in closer, the way his eyes flicker to your lips as his body tells him what he wants so badly, but hasn’t had the guts to do.
And how can you not pick up on the signs? His lips part, his fingers curling into the plush of your skin as he yearns for nothing more than to let his eyes flutter shut and capture your lips with his own.
All these months, and your taste never left his tongue. He always pushed the thought away, figuring it was a figment of his imagination, but his yearning is real. Painfully so.
What is it that they say about these sorts of emotions? Drunken words are sober thoughts? Does it apply to actions, too?
But even at the brink of being blackout drunk, he can't.
Why is it that he's frozen, inches away from what he wants so badly?
Your eyes widen slightly at the close proximity, instinctively taking a step back when you feel the warmth of his chest against your own.
He’s just drunk, he’s just drunk, he’s just drunk-
The thought repeats itself in your mind like clockwork and you hesitantly place your hands on his chest, using enough pressure against the muscles to keep some breathing room between you.
His lips twitch downwards slightly at the pressure, trying to figure you out.
One moment he swears you’re in love with him still, and the next, he’s wondering if he’s read every sign wrong and Uraume led him astray. Maybe this isn’t what you want at all, and he can’t bear to step into another mistake he can’t come back from.
Fuck, he’s too drunk for this. So, he lets you press against his chest and put space between the both of you before anything can happen.
“Sukuna?” You barely whisper his name, a slight tremor to your hands against his broad chest.
His adam’s apple bobs, his tongue swiping across his lower lip as his mind races to catch up to his flurry of thoughts, but before he has a chance to reply, the door to your side swings open to reveal Uraume.
Their lips form an ‘O’ as they pause at the door, which swings shut behind them. Their gaze sweeps the position they’ve found you both in, before taking in Sukuna’s confused and hazy-eyed scowl and your shocked and confused blinking.
“Am I interrupting?”
“No, you’re good!” You squeak, stepping out of Sukuna’s grasp with little resistance. You exchange a glance with him, but can’t deduce much from his expression under the influence of entirely too much liquor.
They nod slowly, taking a step out towards the both of you.
“What happened back there, Sukuna?”
Frustrated as the same question is thrown at him again, he drags his hands down his face. His answer is largely the same to them as it was to you. “He pissed me off.”
“I gathered that,” Uraume replies sarcastically at his half-assed response, taking a step forward to stand at your side. “Are you alright?” They address you.
You nod, shooting them a smile.
Their attention returns to Sukuna again. “I know you’re upset with the loss of your brothers, but you mentioned a meeting with your lawyer. Things should be alright, no?”
Sukuna huffs dramatically, shaking his head before throwing his arms uselessly through the air. “‘T doesn’ fuckin’ matter anymore,” he mutters, instinctively reaching for another cigarette. Your skin itches to stop him, but you fear it’ll only make things worse if you do.
The chemicals pounding through his bloodstream keep him comfortably numb in the cool night air. The temperature is nearly freezing, preparing to leave behind a layer of early spring frost on the grass overnight, but none of you notice thanks to the blanket of warmth the shots you’ve all downed provides.
“Got no cash left,” he shrugs with one shoulder. “Doesn’ matter anyway. Lawyer thinks ‘s useless,” he tacks on with a puff of smoke.
Thinking back to his office on Tuesday morning, you think a part of you already knew he was broke. You’d seen the signs, but you’re sure the money can be scrounged up somehow. You’re more worried about the latter half of his statement as you finally get some answers out of him.
“What? What did she say?” You push, your own anxiety clawing at your chest as your breathing wavers.
Flicking ash to the ground, Sukuna exhales loudly, wracking his clouded mind for some semblance of the legal explanation she gave. “Courts c’n deny appeals, so she-” he pauses, narrowing his eyes as he recalls the conversation, “- she’s worried wi’out new evidence ‘r proof of some sort o’ bullshit in the trial, they might toss th’ case.” He takes a long drag of his cigarette, staring out at the parking lot blankly. The way he’s emotionlessly rattling off words makes you think that he might just be reciting what he heard in his own words, barely considering how either of you might react.
Your blood runs cold at the thought of the boys being alone with a mother they don’t know, without their anchor. The same goes for Sukuna, clearly adrift at sea without his own anchors as he slides headfirst into poor coping mechanisms.
“You need to fight, Sukuna,” you push, frantically glancing between him and Uraume. They may both remain calm, but you see through their silence. Sukuna is at wit’s end and Uraume simply knows how to keep a straight face.
Sukuna puffs smoke above him, languidly watching it swirl above him.
Your throat tightens as tears gather at your lash line. You attempt to blink them away, wrapping your arms around yourself at Sukuna’s signs of defeat. Your voice breaks when you push again. “You can’t give up, Kuna. They need you.”
“What d’ya want fr’m me?” He growls, exasperated as he turns to face you. “I tried!” He insists, throwing his hand through the air as smoke spirals around him with the action.
You chew on your lip, a warm tear spilling down your cheek as you stare at your feet. Sukuna backs down, turning towards the parking lot again as he takes another desperate drag of nicotine.
He just wants to forget. Forget about everything. The trial, his brothers, this moment. He wants it all gone. It’s easier.
Just once, he wants to take the easy way out.
“Have you looked through your files again for more evidence?” Uraume presses, remaining a beacon of calm as they set a hand on your trembling shoulder in reassurance.
“No point,” he huffs.
“Why not?”
Sukuna bristles, the constant questions getting under his skin. Is it too much to ask for a single day where he can let himself forget the bullshit? “‘Cause I did!” He barks, finally turning to face the both of you. “I fuckin’ did ‘lready!” He lets out a dry laugh. “I can’t- not again.” He grows quiet, jaw clenching as anguish seeps through his impassivity. “‘M tired,” he admits, barely audible over muffled laughter from within the bar.
You ache to reach out to him, but Uraume knows you both better than you seem to know yourselves.
“You don’t need to go through the documents alone.”
Sukuna’s empty gaze meets Uraume’s, before his eyes slide back to the parking lot.
“Go inside,” they urge you quietly, squeezing your shoulder. “We’ll be in soon.” You open your mouth to protest, but they cut you off. “Please. I’d like a moment.”
Solemnly, you finally find it in yourself to nod, wiping your tears as you turn towards the door with an uncertain glance at Sukuna. As the door shuts behind you, Uraume takes a moment to take in just how far gone any semblance of the Sukuna they know is.
“Why didn’t you say anything after your meeting?”
He grits his teeth, his grip on the cigarette between his fingers tightening. Three shots of Everclear had him thinking he’d escaped this strangled nightmare, yet here he still is, still floating adrift at sea.
When his head simply hangs as he remains silent, Uraume continues pushing. “Why wouldn’t you ask for help?”
“B’cause ‘m done!” He barks, whipping around to face them with only half as much fury as he musters on a bad day. He shrugs dramatically, his arms making a plop! sound as the leather of his sleeves makes contact with the sides of the jacket. “Jus’ leave me-” he swallows suddenly, forcing the lump in his throat down as nausea rocks him a step forward. “Christ,” he moans as the urge to vomit comes over him.
He can’t pinpoint the cause in this state, but he doesn’t want to feel the Everclear coming back up.
He can keep a straight face as it burns his throat on the way down, but he doesn’t want to think about that taste coming back up.
“What happened to the man that wouldn’t give up for his brothers?” Uraume pushes.
Holding his head, Sukuna groans again. “Dunno,” he replies simply, not taking any real time to consider their words.
Uraume frowns, crossing their arms over their chest. “I’m taking you home.”
“‘M fine, fuck off.”
Ignoring him, they turn back towards the door. “Wait here. I’ll go pay for our drinks.” The ambient laughter and clinking spills out into the open night air as Uraume holds the door for a moment, pausing before they head back inside. “By the way, figure your feelings out for her,” they jut their chin out in the direction of the table where you’re seated with your friends once again. “Don’t mess with her just because you’re drunk.”
With that, they leave Sukuna outside to mull over their words, knowing fully well nothing will sit well with him in his current state.
The table is in a general state of confusion still when Uraume reappears as Satoru attempts to make sense of what the hell he’d just unraveled. His array of questions are met with an overall frustrating silence as those who’re aware of Sukuna’s situation struggle not to give out too many details. Tough, when the cat’s now out of the bag. It doesn’t take a lot to figure out that Sukuna, to some extent, has kids.
Uraume’s reappearance brings all eyes to them.
“How is ‘e?” Toji queries.
“I’m taking him home. I don’t think he should be alone, I plan on staying the night,” they explain, digging through their wallet to pull out some cash and set it in front of you. “That should cover him and I.”
You nod, mouthing a silent ‘thank you’ as you wipe your tears. They shoot you a sympathetic smile.
Sniffling, you do what you can to ignore your own devastation. No matter how much you love his brothers like family, you don’t get to call the shots. You can’t fight for them, and you can’t force Sukuna to fight.
It doesn’t make it any easier, though.
The idea of Yuji losing the only person he knows as his guardian forms a lump in your throat that you can’t seem to push down. As silently as possible, you sharply inhale a shaky breath.
It hurts. It hurts and you’re helpless, unable to do anything but cry, which feels painfully like defeat.
Even if he gives up, you’re not ready to give up. But what are you supposed to do? You can’t pull new evidence out of thin air. You can’t find evidence of an unfair trial when Kaori made sure her arguments were airtight.
You’re lost, too. In your own way.
You take another deep breath, steadying yourself as best as you can, even as anguish pushes the knife deeper and deeper, with no plans on leaving your heart unscathed.
Sukuna’s going through more, you remind yourself. You can’t let yourself break when he clearly needs you. No matter how thin you spread yourself, you need to remain strong for him. Because no matter how lost you feel, you can only imagine he feels worse.
Maybe it’s the wrong way of looking at things, but you want to be his rock. You’ll figure out your classes, your paper, your exams. You’ll figure it all out while you’re still there for him. He needs a hand, whether he’s willing to admit it or not, and you’ll be there with your hand out when he’s ready to accept that.
Even if he isn’t ready to accept it.
So you steel yourself, unwilling to fall to your own issues. His are greater, you can’t allow yourself to crumble under less.
“Let us know when you get to his place,” Atsuya chips in, chewing on a toothpick.
Uraume nods solemnly. “Got it. I’ll text you.”
Your heart drops as they turn to walk away, concern twisting your puffy features. Shoko’s arm wraps around your shoulders as she pulls you into a side hug. “Have some drinks. Have fun. He’ll be okay. You deserve to have fun tonight.”
You want to believe her, you really do.
But you just find yourself wondering how long Sukuna can last like this, lost in a battle with his own demons.
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❦ a/n ; everyone is struggling :')
i know i say it a lot, but thank you all so much for all the support, from the bottom of my heart <33 it really does mean the world and all of your kind words constantly have me itching to keep writing.
i'm really, really looking forward to working on and sharing the next chapter too, we'll get a lot more insight into sukuna's life before reader and just how much kaori absolutely sucks (as if you all didn't already know that LOL)
anyway, thank you sm as always, ily all <33
❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune
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paradisestarfishh · 2 days ago
Text
Peak writing.
what you know - ch16: sleepless nights || r. sukuna
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❦ ryomen sukuna x f!reader [college au] [ongoing series]
❝ you've heard his reputation and you've seen first-hand the way he's late to class if he even bothers to show up. paired with him for the most important project of the year, you choose to give him the benefit of the doubt- but maybe that's more than he deserves when your perfect grades depend on him, or maybe there's more to the aloof and irritable sukuna than meets the eye. ❞
❦ cw ; mdni, 18+ only. contains explicit sexual themes and content. use of alcohol. use of cannabis. use of nicotine/cigarettes. angst. hurt/no comfort. hurt/comfort. minor injury. family trauma. smut. slow burn. anxiety. panic attacks. mentions of difficulty eating. legal drama (likely with inaccuracies). tags will be updated as series continues.
❦ additional tags ; college parties and themes. sukuna ooc warning as this is a realistic take on modern sukuna. reader is fairly preppy and implied to be smaller than sukuna, but he's 6"11.
❦ words ; 17.6k.
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Slipping through the door on Tuesday morning to the lecture hall mere seconds before the professor shuts it, you mutter an apology as you jog up to your seat beside Kento. The blonde’s lips downturn at the sight of your rushed movements as you pull your laptop out, your chest heaving after having run through campus.
“May I ask what has you so rushed?” He questions in a hushed tone as the professor prepares for his lecture.
Letting out a breath, you shake your head. “I had a little bit of an existential crisis this morning, but everything’s good now,” you breathe, forcing a smile.
Kento’s brow raises. “Would this have anything to do with Sukuna?”
“No. Well-” you pause, hesitating as your fingers pause on your keyboard. “Kinda, I guess.”
Kento’s observant eyes flicker between your rushed movements and your expression. He scrutinizes the minute tremor in your fingers and the way you chew on your lip. Unfortunately for you, he’s entirely too observant, and more than willing to call you out for it.
“Have you been crying?”
Like a deer in the headlights, your head whips towards him, wide-eyed. Caught.
The blonde frowns. “Do you have a moment after class before your internship?”
You nod, sighing as you give in, frazzled nerves dissolving. You’re not sure why you bother trying to hide when it comes to him. He’s known you too long, and he’s always been perceptive.
As the professor begins the lecture, you dial in, doing what you can to give your full attention to the subject. You can’t afford another day of catch-up, not when you’re still behind.
When the professor dismisses the lecture hall, you lean back in your seat, dropping the back of your head onto the plastic backrest. With a yawn, you run your hands through your hair, before dropping them to hang at your sides.
Kento’s presence beside you remains steady as he allows you a moment to sort out your thoughts. Your gaze trails across the ceiling, resting on a water stain. You recall thinking those were coffee stains when you were a kid. In hindsight, that doesn’t make much sense.
When you remain unmoving for a minute too long, Kento finally gives you a push. “Care to start with the elephant in the room?”
Shutting your eyes, your brows knit together. “Sukuna?”
“In a sense. What happened with the trial? I didn’t get the chance to ask when I saw you on Friday.”
Shrugging in place, you shake your head. “His step-mom had the whole thing rigged. I don’t think it would have mattered what he did.”
“I see.”
“The kids were devastated,” you murmur, blinking your eyes open as your gaze finds more deformities in the otherwise uninteresting ceiling, “and really scared.”
Kento’s expression remains aloof as he hums in understanding. “And Sukuna?”
You finally tilt your head towards the blonde. You’re in a frazzled enough mood to question whether or not he truly cares about Sukuna’s well-being, but you have no right to be rude when your friend has only ever shown compassion for you. Sighing, you stare back at the ceiling, clasping your hands in your lap.
Hesitating, your lips purse. You’re in no position to be telling Kento the details of Sukuna’s life, but you’re also desperately in need of some support yourself. As much as you appreciate Toji and Uraume, what you really need is a girls’ night (featuring Kento), but you’re not sure whether you have the time to spare for that.
“I don’t know,” you admit. “I mean- I know he’s doing bad. He didn’t sleep between the trial and the hand-off of the kids.” As your neck starts to get sore, you sit up, staring at your fiddling thumbs in your lap. “I haven’t heard from him since before the hand-off, though.”
“And you’re worried?” He confirms.
Nodding, you sigh softly. “I tried texting and calling.”
“Well, surely you’ll see him at work today,” Kento offers, though you’ve already considered that.
“Hopefully. I don’t know,” you admit. You have half a mind to think he might take some time off, or just not show up at all.
“And you?”
You swipe your tongue across your bottom lip as Kento turns in his seat to better see you. “I’m so behind,” you murmur. The dark circles underlining your eyes feel heavy with the admission. You’d only missed a couple of days, but the truth is that you’ve spent so much time concerning yourself with Sukuna’s affairs that even your time spent studying was wasted on zoning out.
Kento’s sharp auburn eyes flicker between yours. “I meant how are you handling what’s going on with Sukuna, but something tells me the tears weren’t shed over him. Would that be right?”
Your chest slowly rises in a long, exasperated inhalation. “Not this time,” you sigh. “I got some wires crossed and forgot to submit a paper last night. I thought it was due on Wednesday.”
Kento frowns. “I assume it was for your Copy Editing class?”
You nod.
“What was it worth?”
“Thirty percent,” you murmur, blinking your eyes rapidly as you feel tears of stress welling in your eyes. “I don’t know how I was so stupid, I usually have everything right in my calendar, and double-check and-”
“Hold on,” Kento interrupts before you can spiral as you begin to ramble and blame yourself. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Have you had the opportunity to speak with your professor about it yet?”
“Well- no, but he’s pretty strict, and I’m a scholarship student,” you mumble doubtfully, finding yourself picking at your nails.
The very best is expected out of you, you’ve had no issue upholding that until this semester.
“Strict or not, life happens,” Kento points out, not hesitating to wrap his fingers around your wrist and tug your hands apart to prevent you from picking at your nails. He pulls his hands back to his lap with a pointed stare, scolding you with only a look. “I think he would be willing to consider your perspective if you simply explain.”
“I can’t just tell him what’s going on with Sukuna.”
“You can’t allow yourself to fail to spare his feelings, either,” Kento points out evenly, crossing his legs.
Your gaze falls to your lap. “I guess you’re right,” you murmur. “I’ll try to talk to my prof tomorrow.”
Nodding in satisfaction, your friend nods at your side. “And your internship?”
Your eyes widen. “Wait- What time is it? I think I need to leave.”
Pulling his wrist up, Kento calmly recites the time from his wristwatch. “Ten.”
“I’m gonna be late.” You move in a rush to shove your textbook and laptop into your bag, pulling on your coat with one hand at the same time.
You pause for the briefest of moments as Kento catches your attention with your name. “What is it?” You ask, returning to packing up as you zip up your bag and toss it over your shoulder.
“You’ll be alright if you’re a couple of minutes late.”
“I-” you hesitate as you get to your feet. “- I really want to make a good impression.”
Getting to his feet, Kento pushes his belongings into his bag at a much more reasonable pace. “I can sympathize with that, but you also need to take care of yourself,” he points out.
Squeezing your bag strap on your shoulder, your brows draw together. You know all-too-well that you’ve been neglecting some much needed self-care time and relaxation, but life isn’t about to slow down and wait for you. You can catch up later.
“Let me walk you to your car.”
Nodding, you follow after him as he leads to way down the stairs of the lecture hall and out into the spring air.
The sun is peeking through the clouds, but a glum feeling still seems to cling to the air. Or maybe you’re just projecting your stress into the clouds, you can’t be sure. Either way, the chirping of birds and buzzing of the returning insects doesn’t carry the same welcoming feeling of spring that you’re accustomed to.
Falling into step with you, Kento takes the opportunity to gently pat your shoulder. “Breathe,” he soothes, remaining as a steady presence from your childhood. If there’s one thing Kento excels in, it’s his ability to assess a situation and act accordingly to find the best outcome, one of the many benefits of having a psychiatrist as a mother. He watches as you suck in a breath, taking a moment to slow down. “How are the rest of your classes going?”
“I- um-” you hesitate, stumbling over your foot and barely managing to catch yourself in the process. Attempting to walk off the embarrassment of tripping, you brush your coat off and stand straight once more. “Um-”
Kento moves to stand in front of you and stops, forcing you to slow down for a moment, to catch your breath and your spiraling thoughts. Tilting your chin up to look at him, you find his brow furrowed, the first signs of disquiet written across his features. “Take a breath,” he encourages you again.
Taking a deep breath, you force the thought of being late for work out of your mind for now, blowing air from your pursed lips in a sigh.
“Good. Now tell me, what’s going on?”
Chewing on your lip, you avoid Kento’s gaze. “I’m kinda worried about my scholarship,” you admit quietly, wrapping your arms around yourself.
The blonde frowns. “Are you that far behind? How many classes did you miss?”
Wrapping your arms around yourself, you shrug. “Not that many,” you shake your head. “But my Public Relations and Marketing class had a presentation that I didn’t know about from a publishing house and I don’t know how I’m supposed to catch up on that and I’m worried-”
“Hey.” Kento interrupts as you begin to spiral. “It’s okay. Have you had the chance to speak with that professor?”
“Well, no-”
“Then take a breath,” he urges. “One step at a time.”
You nod slowly, taking his advice.
“Has the Financial Aid Office or an Academic Advisor reached out?”
“Not yet.”
“Then you’ll be okay.” Kento smiles reassuringly, his cool and calm demeanor soothing your frayed nerves a bit. “I’ll help you work through it, how does that sound?”
Your shoulders fall in defeat as you nod, accepting his help. “You’re a lifesaver, thanks Ken. Are you sure you won’t fall behind?”
A chuckle rumbles within his chest. “I’m ahead,” he admits, not as a boast but to reassure you. “Besides, not everyone has a…” he searches for words, “dear friend in need of help quite as you do. I know you’re often busy.” His tone takes on a chiding edge, a certain knowing gleam in his eyes.
As your nerves begin to settle, you hide your face at his teasing, pushing past him to continue on your way to your car. “Don’t say it like that,” you groan, earning a chuckle from Kento. As aloof and stoic as he is, the man can be far too much of a smartass for his own good.
“No? Am I wrong?”
There it is.
“I- No- I mean-” You stammer over your words, giving him a shove.
He chuckles once more, his calm demeanor never faltering. “I see your feelings haven’t changed.”
You continue to avoid his gaze, walking a bit faster.
“I don’t dislike him, you know.”
You pause, turning to face Kento again. “Even after the whole-” you make a motion in the air, flailing your hands around pointlessly.
“Yes, even after the fight.”
You blink, eyes narrowing just a smidge as you wait for him to elaborate.
He continues walking as he replies. “Sukuna is many things. Dense, egotistical, and often careless, to name a few.” He casts a glance in your direction. “I do dislike how he treated you,” he states plainly. “However, I’m willing to look past that and let bygones be bygones if that’s what you wish. I know you care for him, and I trust your judgement. If you’re willing to give him another chance, then I’m not one to hold my personal thoughts against him.” Kento rolls his shoulders back. “I can certainly respect what he’s going through, and I’m willing to bet that a lot of his prior behavior can be attributed to unfortunate circumstances.”
You’re silent for a moment as you contemplate his words. There’s something incredibly heartwarming about the way your friend has the ability to cast aside his judgement in favor of your well-being. Hell, you aren’t even sure there are words to really put into perspective just how emotionally intelligent and mature he truly is.
His support is almost too much.
If you weren’t so busy processing the very genuine care behind his words, you might have teased him for sounding like his mother… Maybe another day.
For now, you’ll just bask in the warmth that his friendship brings, unable to help a genuine smile.
“I… Appreciate that, Nanamin.”
He winces slightly at the childhood nickname, though he chooses not to comment. “Of course. Which reminds me, how exactly are you handling the loss of his brothers?”
As your car comes into sight, you shrug, brushing off the question. “They’re not my brothers.”
Before you can get close enough to escape into your car, Kento grips your forearm to stop you. “Perhaps not, but it’s not that simple, is it?” He inquires, the deep auburn of his eyes flickering around your face as though he can read every little twitch of your features. “You see him as family, do you not?”
You avoid his gaze, staring at the ground as you attempt to put your thoughts into words. “Sukuna doesn’t feel that way about me, I don’t have any right-”
Dropping your forearm now that he has your attention, Kento shakes his head. “I’m stopping you there. I have my own thoughts about Sukuna’s feelings towards you, but you have every right to see his brothers as family. Would you not consider him one of your closest friends?”
Tilting your head at the way Kento mentions Sukuna’s feelings towards you, your lips purse. “Wait, what do you mean? What do you think about Sukuna’s feelings for me?”
Your friend takes a pause, weighing exactly how much or how little he wants to say in the case that he could be wrong. “I don’t want to get your hopes up, so take this with a grain of salt,” he warns, “but he seems happy around you.” It’s not exactly the admission you were expecting, you know that much to be true. Still, he continues. “I think for someone handling as much as Sukuna is, the fact that he seeks not just your support in his time of need, but your attention outside of that, is worth a lot more than you realize.”
Your heart palpitates at the mere thought of Kento’s words being true. So much for a grain of salt. You’re practically clinging to the words like a lifeline.
You can’t even begin to count how many nights you’ve spent staring at the ceiling wondering if things have changed. Wondering if maybe the reason he so adamantly seeks your touch and company is because things have changed, but every time you’re reminded of one thing.
He rejected you.
And if you’re being honest with yourself, second-guessing his feelings now is easier on your heart than facing another rejection, no matter how much more resilient you’ve gotten over the months.
Kento brushes the words aside as though they don’t carry the weight of the world. “Now, wouldn’t you consider him one of your closest friends?”
You nod, not trusting your voice as Kento finally leads the way along the final stretch of campus between you and your car.
“Then, I think it’s reasonable to see them as family. You have every right to be upset.” He stops as he reaches your car. Robotically, you search for your keys in the front pocket of your bag, chewing mindlessly on your lip, lost in thought. “Hey.”
You whip your head around to face him, blinking as you return to the present.
“Get out of your thoughts. I told you to take what I said with a grain of salt,” he teases lightly, shaking his head. “I just want you to know that it’s okay to be going through a tough time, yourself.”
Willing yourself to stay in the present, here with Kento, you sigh. “You’re right.” Climbing into the driver’s seat of your car, you start the engine. “This helped a lot. Thanks, Ken.”
“Of course,” he nods. “Let me know when you have some time, I’ll help you study.”
“You’re the best,” you pout up at him. “I’ll see you later?”
He nods, though his hand remains on the door so that you can’t close it. “That reminds me, Satoru organized a dinner at the bar across from his place on Friday. You missed the discussion at lunch last week, but you’re invited. You should come, I think it would be good for you.”
Inhaling a long, deep breath, you nod. “You’re probably right. Yeah, I’ll try to make it.”
“Bring Sukuna.”
“What?” Your brow furrows as you regard your friend from where he leans over your car door. “But Shoko’s still mad, and Satoru doesn’t like-”
“They’ll live. I think it would be good for you to spend some time with your friends, and I know he’s a part of that for you.”
“Are you sure?”
The blonde hums affirmatively. “I’m sure he could use a distraction.”
Staring out your windshield at the row of cars parked ahead of you, you find yourself nodding. “I’ll try.”
“Good. Drive safe.”
“I will.” Before shutting the door as your friend stands upright, you shoot him a grateful smile. “Thanks, Kento.”
He simply smiles as you make your way home to change before work.
You’re exactly eighteen minutes late when you barrel through the door of your office, earning a few stares as you pant when you collapse into your chair in Yuki’s office. She raises a brow at you, glancing at the time.
“Girl, how many times do I need to tell you that you can be late?”
Your chest heaves dramatically as you shake your head. “I need to make a good impression,” you breathe between heavy pants.
“No one’s counting twenty minutes against you,” she quips with a smirk, tapping the edge of her screen where her clock would be with her pen. “You’re still in school, anyway. Everyone knows you’ve got shit going on,” she shrugs, resting her elbow on the table as she leans on the ball of her palm.
Do you ever.
“I know, but-” you pause, unable to find a truly good reason behind your rush to get to work.
“Relax. Maya’s not here right now and I’m your boss, so-” she cuts herself off with a carefree shrug, picking up her coffee. 
Your eyes trail to the corner of your desk where, for the past month or so, your café order has been waiting for you, courtesy of Sukuna. The spot is empty, and usually on the days where it is, Sukuna wouldn’t be far behind, with the beverage in-hand or an invite to join him at the café.
Today is the second day since he began at the publishing house where that hasn’t been the case. The only other day was last Thursday, when he couldn’t be at work and chose to spend the day with his brothers.
Your lips purse at the thought and you twist in your seat to peek out the door. His office is shut, the window that offers a peek into his little nook of the office has blinds shuttered, with no way to tell whether he’s inside or not.
Yuki raises a brow as you turn your attention back to your desk. “No coffee today, huh? You two back to being ex-friends?” She teases, the reasoning behind Sukuna’s absence last week unbeknownst to her.
Your face falls as you open your laptop, sighing as you catch a glance at the clock. It’s not even eleven and it feels as though you’ve had a full day’s worth of stress already.
Though, maybe starting out the day with the realization that you missed a deadline and crying over it should have been the first sign that today would be a bad day.
“No, we’re good,” you assure Yuki. “It’s just been a tough few days,” you admit, omitting any further information.
Sensing your earnestness, Yuki sits upright, her expression morphing to one of sympathy. “Well, if you need anything, I’m here.”
“Thanks,” you smile, grateful when she lets you put your focus into your work. It serves as a valuable distraction from everything on your mind. Between your missed deadline, your less-than-ideal pace of catching up in your classes, and Kento’s words echoing in the recesses of your mind like some sort of mantra you can’t escape, the moment of genuine focus doesn’t come without difficulty.
Still, you’re able to finish up some edits on your current work and send it along for review to Yuki, who pouts dramatically at you, before deciding to head to the lunch room.
Your heels click on the floor as you make your way out of the office, a bag filled with your lunch held within your palms as you find yourself pausing just outside of your destination. No one is in the lunch room just yet, and your eyes trail to the right where Sukuna’s office lies.
No sound comes from within, and you figure he likely isn’t there, but your curiosity gets the better of you. Twisting on your heel, you find yourself gingerly knocking at the door, hoping, praying, that your friend is within. Any opportunity to check on him that might ease even an ounce of your worries would go a long way for your mental well-being.
When there’s no answer, you chew on your lip as you stare down at the handle, testing whether the room is unlocked as you pull it down. The door clicks as it unlatches, creaking open with a squeak of its hinges.
You peer through the gap, blinking at just how dark it is within the office. The blinds are pulled shut not just in the windows that he shares with the interior of the publishing house, but the windows to the outside as well. The only hint of light is what peeks through the blinds, slivers of the outside world cascading over the surfaces within. The stillness of the air within offers a small corner away from the clacking of keys and scribbling of pens, but what you don’t expect are the soft snores accompanying it.
Pushing into the office, your eyes widen at the state it’s in, and who’s at the center of it all.
Paper is scattered across the floor, along with a couple of pens and some paper clips, but hunched over the desk fast asleep in the heart of the room is your friend. His soft snores penetrate the air, his head resting on his forearms, crossed beneath his face, a thin sheen of sweat slick on his exposed skin. His hair is disheveled and his shirt is wrinkled and pleated more than usual. He’s surrounded by a multitude of paper cups, enough to say he should probably be awake right now with the amount of caffeine he’d pumped into his system.
Your heart pangs at the sight. You honestly hadn’t expected him to be here at all, you’d figured that he would stay home and take some time to himself, maybe focus on his meeting with the lawyer tomorrow, but that isn’t the case at all. He must have attempted to bury himself in his work, unable to slow down for even a moment.
You shut the door behind you, careful not to make a sound as you set your lunch on the edge of his desk and lean down to pluck the paperwork off of the floor. You can just barely make out Sukuna’s writing scrawled across some of the pages, mostly detailing edits he wants to make on his own work, but one in particular catches your eye.
One of the pages is crumpled, it looks as though Sukuna must have had the intention of tossing it out, before he flattened it to use as a notepad. Lazily scrawled across the page is a variety of equations and calculations, with titles beside each total.
Groceries. Rent. Internet. Phone Bill. Lawyer.
The calculations beside the scrawl of ‘Lawyer’ are crossed out a number of times, each number higher than the last. Dread settles in the pit of your stomach as even the final number is scratched out. You can’t make out exactly how much it is, but it’s well in the tens of thousands at this point based on the amount of digits he’s scratched out.
Frowning, you tuck the page within the rest of the paperwork, uneasiness settling in your chest as you get back to your feet. Delicately setting the paper on the edge of the desk, you chew on your lip as you begin popping lids off of each of the empty cups of coffee, stacking the paper cups within one another and tossing them all out.
Gathering the pens and paper clips on the floor, you set those where they belong in a small cup on his desk as well while you contemplate whether you should wake him. On one hand, you want him to sleep, but on the other hand…
His poor back. And neck. He should be home if things are this bad.
Your throat tightens as you make your decision, slowly approaching the man’s desk. Setting your hand gently on his bicep, you shake him softly.
Sukuna groans, his face immediately twisting into a deeply grumpy scowl as he swats you away. You pull your hand back, grimacing as he shuffles and turns his head away from you. “Fuck off,” he mutters.
Good thing you found him and not your boss.
“You should go home and get some rest,” you try to encourage the mostly-asleep man, praying your voice may rouse him from his fatigued state somewhat.
He groans, letting out a breath as he peeks an eye open to see you standing over him. He squints hard as you pull him from his slumber and you swear there’s an almost cartoon-ish bubble popping over his head as his sleep is interrupted.
He pushes up into a seated position, leaning heavily on his forearms. The remnants of sleep remain indented in his cheek as the outline of the fabric of his shirt dimples his skin. Yawning, the man leans back in his chair, wiping the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand before pushing his long hair from his vision.
“What do you want?” He grumbles from behind his hands as he rubs them over his drained features in an attempt to wake up. He’s clearly bone-tired and very grumpy now that you’ve awoken him, you can’t imagine he’s intentionally throwing an attitude around with you.
“I came to check on you,” you express, tilting your head to the side in an attempt to get a better look at him in the low lighting. “I didn’t think you’d be here today.”
Sukuna huffs, leaning forward as he rests his forehead on his knuckles, propped up by his elbow. His gaze is trained on the wood grain of his desk. “What time is it?” He mutters out the question, casting your concerns aside.
“Almost noon.”
“Noon,” he repeats, unmoving. “Tuesday?”
“Um- Yeah,” you affirm, your brow furrowing at his reaction.
He lets out an exasperated huff. “Shit,” he mutters under his breath. Dazed, he raises his head, finally getting a look around his office as he begins to come to, though he’s still squinting, even in the low light. You can just barely make out tears on his lash line as he yawns.
Your lips purse as realization passes over you. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep here,” you mumble.
“You cleaned up,” he mutters, ignoring you.
“I- Yeah. Sukuna, you didn’t sleep here, did you?” You push again, taking a step towards his desk.
“It was just s’posed to be a nap,” he grumbles, tapping on the screen of his iPad and squinting harder as the time flashes up at him. “Christ.”
Blinking at him in shock, you can’t help but go back to the subject that he keeps on frustratingly brushing off.
“You didn’t go home last night?”
Finally processing your concern, he stares you down. “No.”
“Why not?”
Sighing heavily, he massages his temples, fighting off an oncoming headache. “Had deadlines to meet n’ needed money to meet with the lawyer tomorrow,” he mumbles out an explanation.
Blinking in horror at the immediate repercussions of losing his brothers, you feel your worries twist in your stomach and lurch up to your throat. Sukuna can play off as much as he wants that he’s just trying to catch up, but you can see within the crimson of his irises that he’s lost. Trying to find some sort of purpose, something to do.
And you get it.
It happened to you when the two of you fought. When you had to relearn your own hobbies and allow yourself to enjoy your spare time once again, but this is beyond that. This isn’t a few months’ worth of friendship and constant time spent together, this is a man who’s spent years with no spare time, skipping out on sleep in favor of providing for his brothers. This is a man who taught himself to thrive under pressure for the sheer sake of survival.
Now, the pressure remains, but his time is tenfold. How is anyone meant to unlearn a work ethic so ingrained into their system at the snap of a finger?
When you’re busy with life’s obligations, it’s easy to be willing to lose sleep to find time for yourself and your passions, but when that life is ripped from the fabric of your being, it feels downright wrong to spend any spare time indulging in oneself.
And for someone like Sukuna, someone who feels he’s failed everyone around him, that feeling only increases tenfold. It exists on the outer edges of his psyche, sticking to him like glue and threatening to pull him under. It’s a painfully suffocating way to live.
Swiping your tongue across your lower lip, your gaze falls to the blinds. “Can I open those?” You ask, pointing behind him.
He grunts, the barest of shrugs following it.
Moving past him, you pull the blinds open on his window, letting the overcast light pour into the room. Sukuna rubs his eyes behind you, squinting to adjust to the light.
Standing behind him, you frown. “Why don’t you go home?”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?” You push, your brow furrowing with how painfully stubborn this man is.
“Missed almost a week. Gotta make up for it,” he replies almost robotically, rolling his neck. It pops as he picks up his iPad, not sparing a moment as he gets back to it.
Making your way back around to the front of his desk, you worriedly take in his features as daylight streams in, illuminating the surfaces of his office. The thin sheen of sweat remains on his skin, clinging to his forehead in a way that makes him look sickly. Paired with a gaunt and empty expression and dark circles under his eyes that resemble bruises, you can only imagine the pain he’s going through.
“When was the last time you ate?”
Sukuna’s gaze rises slowly, before trailing to the side as he considers your question. Sighing, he rubs his forehead. “Fuck,” he mumbles. “Dunno, princess. I had a protein bar at some point last night.”
Your gut twists in further horror at the revelation. “You’re gonna make yourself sick,” you mumble.
He lowers his hand from his forehead, staring blankly at you as he remains silent. His eyes flicker across your features as you stand your ground. When you don’t receive a response, you move to the edge of his desk, digging into the bag you’d left on the surface when you entered the room. Pulling out your lunch, you set it on the desk and slide it across to him.
“I’m not eating your lunch,” he gruffs, staring at the tupperware.
“You’re not. I packed it for you.”
Anyone else might present such a fact as defiance, but Sukuna knows you too well. It’s done out of the kindness of your heart, because you hate that he never brings lunch. Since the day you first shared your lunch with him, of course he’s taken notice that you always seem to conveniently have too much food, it’s only now that you’re acknowledging it not as too much food, but as a purposeful decision to bring extra for him.
He swallows hard, his adam’s apple bobbing as he stares down at the tupperware. You plop yourself down in a chair in front of his desk, leaning back as you begin eating your leftover pasta salad, forcing Sukuna to sigh. Languidly, he frowns as he takes a hold of the tupperware, popping it open to leftover pizza. The smell alone is enough to make his stomach grumble, and he allows himself to give in, leaning back in his chair.
The room is silent aside from the sound of your fork against plastic as you eat. As hungry as his stomach made him sound, Sukuna struggles to find an appetite, eating in slow motion. You finish far before him, snacking on some fruit you’d packed alongside the two meals. You offer him some, but he shakes his head.
Between bites, you find yourself watching the uncharacteristic way that Sukuna moves. It doesn’t seem like he’s given up. He wouldn’t be working so hard even now if he had, but everything from the way he carries himself to the empty look in his eyes is worse than anything you’ve seen from him over the course of the past few months.
This isn’t distance, or being lost in his own head, this goes beyond that. It’s as though defeat is battering him down and even if he refuses to fall, his body and mind are still taking the brunt of the damage.
“How did yesterday morning go?”
Sukuna stops dead in his tracks, his hand hovering over another slice of pizza. He bites down on his lip as the memory of Yuji screaming out for him is enough to make him shudder. He sucks in a shaky breath, feigning nonchalance as he grabs the slice.
“Fine,” he gruffs, staring blankly at the desk in front of him.
You blink, taking in how tense his jaw is as he forces another bite of food into his mouth. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see through his lies. Either way, he obviously doesn’t want to talk about it, so you move on to your next concern. “Are you okay, Kuna?”
His chewing pauses as the hair on the back of his neck stands on end. He blinks, his gaze still trained blankly on his desk as memories flood his mind of the meaning behind the nickname so dear to his brothers, and now to you.
He grits his teeth, grinding them together hard as his expression hardens. He doesn't spare you a glance as his anger simmers just beneath the surface. As the pain and fear both caused by his loss clash within his mind, his grip on the pizza tightens.
His morphing expression and sudden frozen stance cause you to tilt your head at him. “Kuna?”
He knows it’s not intentional. God damn it, he knows.
But fuck if the continued use of his nickname doesn't poke and prod at that growing fear of losing his own identity. But if he doesn't let you call him that stupid nickname he used to hate (maybe even still does), then who is he, really?
Swallowing, he slowly returns to his meal, though his gaze never once moves from the desk. Trained emptily on the deep wooden grain beneath his forearms. He flexes his jaw, the tight muscles aching from the pressure he put them under. “I’m fine.”
The words almost sound as though they choke him. Worrying your lower lip between your teeth, you search for anything you can do to find answers, to find a reaction, to find any signs of life within him.
Your stare brings Sukuna’s crimson irises up from the table, his vision catching on the way you chew on your lower lip. He doesn't have the mental fortitude right now to consider the way his gaze hangs on the movement, or the way he has to forcibly tear his gaze away.
He grabs the last piece of pizza as silence continues to permeate the air. It’s not the usual comfortable one, either. It hangs as heavy and thick as the fog in his brain, clinging to you both with the weight of Sukuna’s situation.
There's more to it, though. You’re tense too, more so than usual, now that Sukuna can get a better look at you. Whatever it is that hangs over you, it goes beyond concern regarding his thinly veiled lie of how he’s doing. His brow furrows as his thoughts seem to stall.
He actually considers slamming his head against the desk in an effort to clear his thoughts, but even with the fog of weariness clouding his brain, he knows that’s stupid. 
Clearing his throat, he rests his arm against his desk, the remainder of the pizza you brought him held between his fingers. “You alright?”
“Hm?” Your brow raises, his words taking a moment to register when he pulls you from your thoughts. “Oh- yeah, I’m good!” You shoot him a reassuring smile, your eyes crinkling at the corners as you feign your own well-being. You don’t need to give Sukuna any reason to worry.
His eye twitches, but he drops the subject. Whether he believes you, or he’s too tired to argue, you can’t be sure.
FInishing up your fruit in silence, you cast a glance at the time, packing your lunch back up into the tupperware and tossing it into the tote bag you brought it in. “I should get back to work, but I’ll be back at five sharp because I’m taking you home,” you tell him in the most authoritative voice you can muster. He opens his mouth to retort, but you interrupt before he can get a word in. “See you in a bit.”
With that, you slip out the door before he can argue with you, leaving him in his office in silence.
On the walk back to your desk, you fall into step with Yuki, who happens to be returning from lunch at the same time.
“Hey, where’d you disappear to?” She inquires with a tilt of her head. Her blonde hair cascades to the side as she curiously regards you.
“I was having lunch with Sukuna,” you explain, pointing a thumb over your shoulder. “I went to check on him, he slept here overnight,” you grimace.
“You’re kidding.” Yuki casts a glance back at his office, the door slightly ajar from how you’d left it. “Was he really behind, or something?”
You shrug. “He didn’t give me much of an explanation, he just mentioned deadlines.”
Yuki shakes her head. “Poor guy. He didn’t even take that much time off.”
“Yeah… I’m gonna take the bus home with him.” You nod to yourself. “At least then I can make sure he gets some sleep in a bed.”
“Wait, does he at least have a couch in his office to sleep on?”
You shake your head.
“Oh my god, I can feel his back pain from here,” she winces in horror, rubbing her shoulder at the thought.
You chuckle quietly to yourself. “It’s not like he’d fit on a couch anyway.”
“You have a point,” she agrees, chuckling alongside you as you settle into your desk to work for the afternoon.
It passes quickly, even with a multitude of distractions, courtesy of your brain’s ability to cling to every concern like you owe it money. The amount of times you find yourself re-reading some of the paragraphs in an effort to actually understand the text laid out for you says a lot about your own well-being. It’s not exactly easy to edit when your mind keeps jumping back between Sukuna’s exhausted expression and the paper you missed the deadline for.
Still, you manage to make it through the day without falling behind, which is a relief because you’re not sure if you could handle falling behind on work as well as school.
Packing your laptop into your bag and shutting off your monitor, you wish Yuki a good night as you cross the office to get Sukuna.
When you push his door open, you find him hunched over his iPad with a concentrated expression and a multitude of printed pages and pencil sketches spread across the table. You tilt your head to get a better look at some of them as Sukuna works away, not even acknowledging you.
None of the art strewn across his desk is in a style you’re used to seeing from him. Most of his art for the covers that you’ve seen tends to be in one of two different styles. Either a character with rounded features and bold lines, similar to how he draws for his brothers to color, or in a painterly style reminiscent of old children’s novels. What lays across his desk, however, is a variety of different styles.
“Trying out something new?” You query, finally gaining his attention as his eyes flicker up to you, before he glances at the clock in the corner of his screen.
“Somethin’ like that,” he grumbles out in reply. “Gimme a moment.”
You nod, peering over his desk curiously to catch a glimpse of his current piece. You can’t decipher what project the cover is for based on what he’s done so far, but it’s also a far stretch from his usual art. Bold lines and equally bold colors come together to make a heavily stylized car on a stretch of road with cacti dotted along the background.
It’s gorgeous, but unusual.
“Nosy,” Sukuna mutters, meant to be a playful dig at your curiosity, though it lacks any lilt that could be seen as teasing, coming across more like an irritated grunt.
“Sorry,” you mumble, taking a step back.
“I’m kidding, princess. I don’t care if you look,” he sighs, shutting his iPad off and tucking it in his bag.
“Oh,” you frown, having a tough time reading him as he stands up to pull his jacket on. Raking his fingers through his hair, he pushes it back to the best of his ability, though it still lays in a disheveled manner on his head.
Without another word, Sukuna comes up behind you, nudging you along to lead the way to the bus stop. He remains close behind you as you reach the stop in silence, hands in his pockets as he stares at nothing in particular on the horizon while you take a seat on a bench as you await transit.
“What’s got you trying so many different styles?” You query, peering up at the nearly seven-foot-tall man.
He scratches at the stubble dotting his chin, shrugging. “Just felt like time, I guess.”
You catch the distant glaze that shimmers in his eyes, the way his pupils shrink as they flicker aimlessly from side to side, taking in the buildings across the road. There’s more to this, more to his weary expressions and empty replies, but he’s made it clear you aren’t getting anything out of him.
He’s strangely put-together in comparison to the state you had expected to find him in.
Sure, he’s not all there and unwilling to talk, but you had honestly expected mania. You’d been mentally preparing yourself for monumental anxiety and anger, converging into one horribly pissed off man.
But he just seems exhausted. You can sympathize with that, but you have yet to decide whether this version of Sukuna is more or less worrisome than the man who hides his emotions behind anger.
Moving along, you continue to try to create conversation. “Hey, do you want to go out on Friday? A group of us are going to the bar, you should come.”
“Nah, I’ll just-”
“Come on, it’ll be fun!” You attempt to encourage him. “I got sent the details earlier today. Toji, Uraume, and Atsuya will be there.”
“I’m good,��� he declines again.
“Please, Kuna,” you plead as you get to your feet at the sight of the bus in the distance.
He spares you a glance, his chest rising and falling as he silently sighs. “Your friends won’t want me there.”
“Kento invited you.”
His brow twitches as he eyes you, boarding the bus and heading to the back where there are two available seats across from one another. Sukuna leans against the bus window, inadvertently tangling his legs with yours as you take a seat in the tight space across from him.
“Since when does he want me around?”
You understand Sukuna’s uncertainty regarding Kento’s motives given that you’d shared the same question. “He wants you there since you’re my friend. It’d be nice for you to get to know one another.”
His chest slowly rises before he puffs out a breath. The window gains a layer of fog for a moment, clearing when Sukuna’s gaze slides to the side. He stares out the window silently as he weighs his options. Giving your knee a nudge with his own, he gives in with a huff. “Fine. Text me the details.”
It doesn’t matter how shitty he’s feeling, or how little he really wants to go, the way your expression relaxes and your eyes light up helps to ease his pain. It doesn’t meet his eyes, but his lip quirks up into a hint of a smirk before his temple hits the window as he turns his attention back to the blur of trees, concrete, and passing vehicles.
Sukuna’s never been particularly enthusiastic or energetic- but it’s rare that he simply won’t entertain any conversation. You know it’s been an exhausting few weeks, especially as the world keeps on moving- with or without you both- but it’s equally clear that Sukuna needs a break.
Hell, maybe you both do.
Chewing on your lip, you find yourself watching the passing vehicles, as well. You can’t help but wonder what’s going through Sukuna’s mind, what he’s thinking about, how he’s feeling- you want to ask, but the only type of communication he seems even the slightest bit responsive to is touch.
Your gaze trails down to the space between you, where your legs are leaning against one another. Moving your foot closer to him, your calf brushes his. His gaze doesn’t move from the window, but he does pull his leg back to tangle it around your extended foot.
Maybe he’s at wit’s end, but it brings you solace to know that he still finds comfort within you.
The silence grows comfortable as you find your place within his world, watching passing cars. As your stop approaches, Sukuna lazily lifts his arm to hit the alarm for your stop.
You tilt your head at him. “I’ll walk you to your apartment.” It’s more of a statement than an offer, catching Sukuna’s attention as he sits upright across from you, his gaze trailing your expression.
“Cute,” he hums lowly, “but you should go home.”
Apprehensively, you search for the words to convince him otherwise, but his mind’s made up. As the bus slows when your stop approaches, he lifts your bag from under your seat, setting it on your lap.
“Go home, princess.” He encourages hollowly as he unravels his leg from yours.
As the bus halts and the doors open, you can only frown as he gives you a nudge, practically shooing you out the door. “See you Thursday?” You ask hopefully, pausing just before you hop onto the concrete outside.
He grunts.
Time seems to pass… differently.
You can’t say for sure what it is that gives you that feeling, but you swear everything is either long and drawn out with no signs of speeding up, or everything passes in the blink of an eye. Classes drag on, but honestly you find yourself thankful for it given that you’re actually grasping some of the material now. No longer do they pass before you can really focus with only thoughts of Sukuna, Yuji, and Choso to fill your time, but in place of those thoughts come a dozen other worries.
You hadn’t found the empathy you were hoping for in your professor, who deemed that you would simply need to take a zero on your delinquent paper for what he claimed was your own doing. It meant pouring more time into Copy Editing, on top of what you already had missed.
Your days are long, your nights longer as you study and attempt to make up for lost time with your scholarship potentially at risk.
Work is equally stressful between having another thing to manage and the fact that every time you enter Sukuna’s office, you’re pretty sure one or two more empty coffee cups have miraculously appeared out of thin air. He was going home every night now at the very least, though if you’re being honest with yourself you don’t think that’s because he feels the need to.
After the meeting with his lawyer, he’d grown infinitely quieter. It doesn’t matter how hard you push, it’s damn near radio silence from your friend. He’s not receptive in the slightest to any attempts to appeal to him. You can see it taking a toll on him. You know him well enough to know that each empty cup of coffee is another worry thrown to the wall and another wound he’s forcibly bandaging. It shows in the way his demeanor dulls every time you see him.
If this is what it takes for him to cope, then you suppose it’s better than a world where he’s alone on the washroom floor. If you’re honest with yourself, that image keeps you up at night. You wonder if his nights alone are spent that way now, but he simply refuses to reach out, too caught up in the hollow feeling that surrounds him.
You thank whoever above will listen that he doesn’t bail on your Friday night plans, even if you find yourself feeling as though you should bail. As much as you’re worried about Sukuna, you’re drowning in your own worries now too, which is why Friday night manages to take you by surprise.
Your nose is buried in a textbook when your phone goes off.
5:38 PM Kuna || you taking the bus to the bar
5:38 PM Kuna || ?
It takes a moment for the time to settle in. Shit. You should be leaving right now and you’re sitting in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie with books stacked to your shoulders piled on your desk.
Pushing up from your desk to run and get ready, you type out a quick response.
5:40 PM You || That's the plan!
In a rush to be at least somewhat on time, you miss the message he leaves you that he’s planning on taking the bus with you and that he’ll be there in a few minutes. So, when he texts you that he’s at your place while you’re in the middle of doing your makeup, you’re running to the door with mascara done on one eye.
Swinging it open, you find Sukuna staring down at you with his signature frown, his expression stoic as ever. His hands are tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket, a silver chain laying across his collar bones. If it weren’t for the fact that his demeanor screams exhaustion and his hair is fairly windswept, you’d almost take him for being at ease. Those who don’t know him well may even assume he is.
He raises a brow, his gaze flickering between your eyes.
“Think you missed a spot,” he comments dryly, a hint of a smirk pulling at the corner of his lips as though he can’t see the mascara in your hand.
Playfully rolling your eyes, you step aside to let him in. “Sorry, I missed your text. I’m running a bit behind.”
Sukuna quietly shrugs, crimson irises trailing after you as he watches you head back to finish your makeup. His gaze never falters as he watches you lean over the sink to get a better look in the mirror. Slowly, his vision drops, following the arch of your back until he’s openly staring at your ass.
Catching himself before he can think too much of it, he blinks, clearing his throat.
“Sorry, I’m almost done!” You call out at the sound. He grunts, though he doesn’t mind waiting.
You’re ready only a few moments later after changing into a skirt and a small, red sleeveless collared shirt, moving in a flurry as you gather your phone and belongings, tucking everything into place before leading the way out the door.
Taking the bus together finds you in a familiar position across from Sukuna, who naturally- or maybe even subconsciously- tangles your legs together.
It may be him who usually finds comfort in you, but you find your shoulders relaxing as you smile down at your intertwined legs. For once, you let yourself enjoy his presence too. With everything Sukuna’s going through, you can’t bring yourself to wallow in your own worries around him, but even if he’s unaware, his company does wonders to ease your stress.
Relaxing into the seat, you smile softly at the hardened man whose attention hasn’t left you since you barely made it to the bus in time.
He clears his throat, his expression unreadable as he mutters, “you look good.”
Your cheeks warm, heat rising to the tips of your ears as you tilt your head with a sweet smile. “Thanks, Kuna.”
His brow twitches, but he remains otherwise aloof as ever.
“You look good, too,” you return his compliment as butterflies burst within your stomach. In the moments that follow sweet interactions with Sukuna, there’s usually a wistful feeling that accompanies your longing. One that you know all-too-well as the telltale reminder that he doesn’t return your feelings, but as your heart pounds a little bit faster in your chest, you’re met with something different.
Uncertainty. Maybe even a little bit of hope, no matter how delusional the thought may be as you cling to Kento’s words from earlier in the week. You know better than to cling to what could be nothing more than a dream, though.
“Who’s gonna be at the bar?” Sukuna mumbles across from you, although you’re already only a couple of stops away.
“Shoko and Kento for sure, Satoru organized it, so Suguru and probably Toji will be there-”
“Toji? What does he have to do with Satoru?” Sukuna hums, confusion written across his features.
“Oh-! They’re really close now.”
He snorts. “You’re pullin’ my leg.”
“I’m not.” You shake your head, continuing to list attendees as some sort of pang thrums in Sukuna’s chest. He scowls down at his lap, something akin to hurt, or maybe even jealousy at the thought that Toji’s found someone to take Sukuna’s place. But who is he to judge who Toji spends his time with? It’s not like Sukuna’s been around in almost four years, there’s no one else to blame but himself.
He inhales a long, deep breath, grateful when the bus lurches to a stop a couple of blocks away from the bar and your train of thought comes to a close before you can ask for Sukuna’s thoughts on whatever you’d been talking about. It’d be a lost cause, he had stopped listening after hearing Toji’s name.
The bar is a couple of blocks away from Satoru’s frat house, Sukuna recognizes the neighborhood. Last time he was in the area was the night that the two of you headed to Strip Joint (the chicken place, of course), after leaving the party.
It feels like years ago, yet he thinks that may be the moment when it really sank in just how fucked Sukuna really was. Not just with the weight of the lawsuit and responsibility, but with you, too.
You lead the way to a sports bar, the neon sign shining brightly over the pavement below your feet, illuminating the lot in a red and blue glow. Sukuna holds the door open for you, revealing a bustling bar with the latest pop hits playing from the overhead speakers, while a number of TVs line the walls. Each one is playing whatever games are on, though it seems as though most of the focus is on some football game.
If you had to guess, this was probably Toji’s choice. It’s not as nice as Satoru’s usual choices,  but that just means your wallet gets a break for once.
Bottles of various liquors from around the world line an array of glass shelves across the back of the establishment, a pale and worn counter spread in front of the bartenders. They push drinks across to various patrons, each bottle replaced with a clink as it hits the glass shelf.
Tucked in the corner is a large ‘U’ shaped table with a larger group than you had originally expected.
Suguru, Satoru, Toji, a man you don’t recognize, Uraume, Atsuya, Yu, Kento, Shoko’s friend Iori, Shoko, and finally space for you and Sukuna, last to arrive thanks to your inability to tell time. Your tattooed friend signals for you to slide in first beside Shoko and across from Satoru and Toji. It’s a tight squeeze, leaving your thighs and shoulders brushing.
As you greet your friends, Sukuna silently evaluates the table. He knew his friends began to merge with yours at some point, but even then he hadn’t realized to what extent, as Uraume and Suguru happily converse from across the table as though Toji, Satoru, and one of the business students Sukuna scarcely recognizes as Shiu aren’t sitting between them having a conversation of their own. That feeling from earlier twists within his stomach again as Toji barks a laugh at something the business student says.
Shoving the feeling down, he picks up a menu, scanning it for the cheapest drink with the highest alcohol content.
While most of the table share surprised glances at the sight of Sukuna, Satoru doesn’t hesitate to make his feelings known, much to your dismay.
“I don’t remember sending an invite out to you,” the frat boy pointedly glares across the table, challenging Sukuna’s presence.
It doesn’t matter how many pieces of Sukuna have vanished. It doesn’t matter how many are scattered across the floor, bent, broken, and not worthy of fixing.
Sukuna doesn’t back down from a challenge.
“You gonna cry about it?” His words don’t even have venom, there’s no real ill intent behind them. He’s not having fun rising to the challenge of a fellow student like he would have so many months ago. His words are meant only to keep up the reputation that even at his lowest, he refuses to tarnish.
Satoru, on the other hand, takes the bait. He wants the challenge. You’re pretty sure to some extent they enjoy egging one another on, but there’s no gleam in Sukuna’s eyes this time. He leans back, slumping in the seat with crossed arms as Satoru scoffs.
Ignoring Sukuna’s hollow taunt, he continues. “Oh, that’s right. I forgot you think you get to treat everyone like shit and still show up unannounced.” His voice rises enough that it pulls the rest of the table from their conversations, all eyes on a charged up Satoru and drained Sukuna.
Red irises flicker down to the menu once more as Sukuna prays the waiter arrives soon. He needs a drink to handle Satoru on a good day, but now?
He’s not even angry with the man across the table from him for putting him on the spot in front of everyone. He’s completely devoid of any real opinion over whatever Satoru has to throw at him, because Sukuna knows.
He knows he treated you like shit. He knows he treated Toji like shit. Satoru’s reminder doesn’t open that wound any further, it’s already bleeding at the sight of Toji replacing him (rightfully so).
But Sukuna can’t let Satoru know just how low he’s gotten. He’s too prideful for that, still. “Yeah, lucky me,” he neutrally replies.
Satoru’s brow twitches into a furrow. Sukuna’s replies, although exactly what Satoru was fishing for, aren’t filled with the bravado he’s come to expect. Unfortunately, the frat boy just never knows when to drop something.
“That’s it? Lucky you?”
“Satoru-” Suguru attempts to interrupt, with a hand on his friend’s shoulder, but he’s shrugged off as the white-haired man continues.
“No, fuck that. You think you get to parade around and piss everyone off, then drop out and we’ll all just- what? Forget about it?”
Sukuna’s eyes zero in on Satoru again, a nerve struck at the mention of dropping out. His lip curls into a snarl as he replies. “That’s none of your fucking business.”
“You made it my fucking business when I had to start placing bets on whether or not she’d be crying every day at lunch!” Satoru snaps back, bringing the table to a deathly silence as he points in your direction.
You shrink in on yourself as Sukuna pushes up from the end of the table. “I should go,” he mutters under his breath. Anything else, god, anything else and he might have a retort, but with you sitting beside him as proof of his errors, he doesn’t have it in him to disappoint you by fighting with your friend anymore.
“Satoru, that’s enough,” Kento’s authoritative voice rings out across the table. He fixes the frat boy with a glare, locking eyes with Sukuna who’s one turn of his heel away from leaving. “Sukuna, I invited you. You’re welcome here.”
“What the hell, Kento-”
“Shut up, man,” Toji grunts beside Satoru, nudging him. Fire rages behind his eyes as he watches Sukuna’s gaze round the table, before landing on you. The table’s attention shifts, all pairs of eyes watching a silent exchange.
You stare up at him with a pretty pout. Regardless of Satoru’s (somewhat) good intention to protect you from Sukuna, he’d still called attention to something that you can’t deny. Sukuna had hurt you. Regardless, there’s a plea behind your eyes.
“Stay.”
Sukuna’s never been particularly good at denying you. His gaze flickers to Kento, who gives him a minute nod, and Sukuna takes a seat once more, ignoring Satoru’s glower.
The table returns to chatter after a moment as both men quiet down. You reassuringly nudge your friend beside you, but his attention is given in full to the menu beneath his fingertips as he leans over the table, his forehead on the ball of his palm.
As a waitress pops by to take orders, everyone gets a variety of different cocktails and beer. You order a Moscow Mule, while Sukuna just shrugs and says he’ll have the same. Before the waitress can leave, he stops her and requests Everclear in place of whatever smoother Vodka they may have used.
You may not drink often, but you recognize the name well enough to know what the intention of Everclear is. It tastes like shit, at the cost of being just about one of the most alcoholic drinks you can get in a restaurant.
You blink in surprise at his request, lips parting. “Are you okay?” You whisper, leaning close enough that he can feel your breath fanning his collar.
“Peachy,” he grumbles, clearly still frustrated over the debacle with Satoru.
Shoko, likeminded, leans over to ask you whether he’s okay as well, keeping her voice low as she mutters the question in your ear.
You shrug, sharing her worried glance.
It doesn’t matter that Shoko still isn’t thrilled with Sukuna, ordering Everclear at a friendly get-together after getting into it with Satoru is enough to make anyone’s warning bells sound. “How’s he been lately, anyway?”
Casting a glance at Sukuna, who’s turned towards the TV behind the bar, away from the table, you hesitate. What the hell are you supposed to say to that? ‘Oh, you know. I don’t think he’s slept in a week, I watched him break down multiple times, and- oh! How could I forget? He lost custody of his only family’.
That’ll go over well.
Turning back to Shoko, you lean in close enough to keep yourself out of earshot of the rest of the table. “If you mean towards me, he’s been…” you pause, searching for the right word, “sweet.” You’re not sure if it’s exactly the descriptor that’s the most fitting, but as far as Sukuna goes, he’s been sweet to you.
“And in general?”
It’s a dumb question and she knows it as she sees his Moscow Mule get set on the table, watching in horror as he downs at least half of it without so much as blinking. It could be water for all you know based on his reaction, or lack thereof.
“Scratch that. What the hell happened?” She changes her question as Sukuna leans back against the table, his eyes trained on the football game.
“What didn’t?” You groan as Sukuna drowns his shortcomings in alcohol.
“That bad?”
“Whatever you’re imagining, it’s probably worse.”
Shoko raises a brow. “Well, shit.” She chews on the inside of her cheek, contemplating his well-being. Setting a hand on your forearm, she turns her attention to you. “How are you doing? I feel like you’ve been dodging my texts to hang out.”
Groaning, you lift your gaze to the ceiling as your voice returns to a normal volume. “I’m so sorry about that. I missed a deadline on a paper and I’m super behind.”
“Shit,” she hums thoughtfully, pulling an olive from her drink and popping it in her mouth. The toothpick it was skewered with rests between her lips as she continues. “How behind are we talking?”
“Enough,” you chuckle dryly. “The prof won’t let me make up the paper I missed, so I basically need an eighty-five or higher on the final if I don’t wanna hear from an Academic Advisor about withholding my degree or making me pay for the semester for violating the scholarship’s terms.”
“Asshole,” she scoffs in reference to your professor. “Eighty five, huh? Guess it could be worse.”
You nod. “At least this is my last semester.”
“Lucky,” she quips with a wry smile. “Doesn’t your scholarship help with job placement, too?”
“Mhm. The company that sponsors it has a lot of connections, it’s probably how I got my internship in the first place.”
“I thought you just applied there normally.”
“I did,” you affirm, taking a sip of your drink. “But my applications mentioned that I have a Kamo Corporation scholarship, so they probably just chose me because of that,” you shrug.
“That’s a bleak way of looking at it,” she mutters, shrugging as she downs the first half of her drink. “Do you like it there?”
Your eyes crinkle at the corners as you grin. “It’s great, wait- I need to catch you up on the office drama,” you excitedly tell her, launching into conversation.
The table begins to mellow as alcohol flows through the blood of everyone at the table after the first round of drinks. With the first sip of his second drink of what may as well be disinfectant, even Sukuna loosens up somewhat as you find him leaning a bit closer, his demeanor calm as listens in to your explanation of your shitty coworker Reggie and his antics. He even chimes in every so often to offer a detail about the office, earning the occasional laugh from Shoko and Iori, who joins the conversation as well.
Midway through his second drink, Sukuna even finds himself feeling okay for the first time this week. The haze of liquor enshrouds his mind and blocks out shitty memories, bringing with it a comfortable buzz that allows him to relax. The pain dulls, sedating the voice at the back of his head screaming that he’s a failure, until it’s nearly mute, and with each sip he finds himself chasing the quiet that it brings him.
It’s funny, that in the far corner of a noisy sports bar with some top forties hit blaring over the speakers, he finds a slice of tranquility. By his third drink, he’s even comfortable.
As the conversation shifts to Shoko’s odd classmates and Kento and Yu end up chiming in, you turn to Sukuna.
“How are you feeling?”
Hazy eyes shift towards you as his chin remains leaning on his palm. “Okay,” he replies simply, though it’s the first time he’s sounded convincing in a while.
You inspect his features, but there’s no crease between his brow, no slight downturn of his lips, and no anger hidden within his eyes. He looks at ease. Whether or not that’s something to be happy about, you have yet to decide. Of course you want him to be able to relax and you had figured a night out would do his mental health good, but something tickles at the back of your mind.
Like an itch you can’t scratch, the reminder that he’s casually sipping on Everclear remains there no matter how hard you try to shake it. It’s not exactly something you can ignore, not when he orders his third drink. You eye his glass, uncertainty and concern brimming in your chest.
That’s the equivalent of, what? Six normal drinks? Seven, maybe even eight? All within the span of an hour, and you’re barely halfway through your second.
“Are you sure?”
Sensing your unease, he swirls his cup momentarily, sitting up and nudging you with his thigh. “Positive, princess.”
You can’t help but feel as though he’s chasing answers at the bottom of a bottle. Either that, or he’s searching for a way to cope that doesn’t leave him hollow.
Though, looking at the way his eyes don’t leave you for a moment, you wonder if there’s something deeper to it. Like he’s not just searching for a way to cope without leaving him hollow, but also way to cope without stretching you to your limit. Like he’s trying to spare you from being pulled under by his ocean of problems.
You’ve watched him tear himself apart and offer pieces to those around him until he has nothing left to give, is this the culmination of it all? A man who seeks sedation in order to hide from the fact that there are no pieces of himself to pick up at the end of this all? Because the man who used to only know how to take has given so much that there’s nothing left?
You and Toji hold the last two pieces left of himself. You protect whatever is left of the Sukuna you’ve grown to love, and his connection to Toji remains tense, at the end of the day.
Worst of all, he won’t allow you to give it back, like it’s easier to simply observe what happens around him while he slowly fades away.
Trauma shaped him into a man who reacted with anger out of fear in order to protect himself. At the end of the day, it never mattered how tired he was, he would fight to protect the care and joy he still carried within. When you came along, you provided respite, allowed him the chance to take a breath and relax.
But new trauma tore that away, and as it tears and rips at the shreds of him that remain, you can only watch as the man filled with joy and care disappears, leaving only the anger, the anxiety, and worse still, complete and utter lack of- well- anything at all.
You should be happy to see him relaxed. Hell, you are. It was your first thought upon seeing the tension in his shoulders dissolve, but somehow, this is worse.
Chewing on your lip, you set your hand on his wrist, sliding your fingers beneath the sleeve of his leather jacket. He’s warm, even more so than usual, his eyes sliding down to the feeling of your hand on his skin, smoothing along his tattooed skin. His pupils are so blown his eyes are almost completely void of the familiar crimson.
You know he won’t talk to you about what happened when he lost the kids. No matter how hard you push, he’s locked that memory away and refuses to bring it to light, as though if he dares to let it out, it might hurt him again. But there has to be something going on that you aren’t privy to, because you don’t know how to navigate a world where Sukuna still seeks your comfort, but you don’t know how to provide it.
“How are things going with Ms. Harte?” You query, brow drawn together in concern for your friend as you try to pull answers from him.
Foggy eyes meet yours, flickering down to your lips that are drawn into a frown. Tearing his eyes from your lips by force, he casts a glance around the table to make sure no one is listening. Still, his answer doesn’t give you much to work with.
“Fine.”
It sucks. Everything about his completely numb responses sucks. There’s no bigger, wiser word to be used.
It fucking sucks.
How many times has he brushed you off, this week alone? You can’t say for sure, you lost count the day you found him asleep in his office. But even then, he gave you more to work with than this.
So, what really happened with his lawyer?
“I don’t believe you,” you mutter, causing his drunken numbness to falter. A crease forms between his brows as he evaluates your expression, filled with concern.
His jaw clenches before he takes another sip of his drink. Whatever he’s wrestling with mentally, it dissolves as Everclear numbs him. “Things… don’ look good,” he admits, his words slurring as he stares straight through you. He’s clearly even more drunk than you realized.
“What happened?” You push.
He checks again that no one is listening in. “‘S hard t’ guarantee a fair trial,” he shrugs. “We got three weeks t’ submit a retrial ‘r whatever, but-” he cuts himself off, shrugging again. “Not like we got any new evidence.”
Keeping your voice low, you lean closer to Sukuna. “Are you okay? Like, really.”
He tilts his head to the side, his judgement clouded by enough alcohol to sedate a bear. His eyes take no time in locking onto your lips. “‘M fine.”
Fine. Fine. Always fine.
“God, Sukuna,” you sigh, leaning back in your seat and breaking him from his stupor. “You’re so frustrating. I just wish you’d talk to me.”
His expression doesn’t change as he watches you. You wonder how much of this he can even make sense of in such a state, a slight sway to his movements as he rolls his wrist over the table to motion to you.
“‘M talkin’ to you now.”
Your brow raises at his- well- stupidity, for lack of a better word.
Sighing, you shake your head. You figured his lips would be a bit more loose given how drunk he is, that maybe he might let some sort of detail spill, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
He’s completely and utterly plastered, and- oh. Oh, great. He’s waving the waitress over to order another.
What would that put him at? The equivalent of ten shots within an hour?
This is dangerous, even for a man of his stature, and it;s clear he’s not thinking straight.
“Sukuna, stop-” you tug on his bicep before he can get the words out, shaking your head at her. “Water, please. He’d like water.”
“What? No, I-”
“Water coming right up,” the server nods, catching your drift.
“What th’ hell?” Sukuna growls, turning to face you with a frustrated scowl.
Grabbing a hold of his forearm, you cling to the leather of his jacket. “Sukuna, please. Just have some water in between,” you plead.
Whether it’s the look of concern on your face, or the way he’s completely and utterly distracted by your lips again, he backs down.
You’re not a fool either, you’ve noticed. You’ve noticed each and every time, and your heart stutters and jumps and your hands shake as you try to convince yourself that he’s just drunk. Some part of you, deep down, no matter how much you try to bury it, knows that he thinks you’re attractive. That’s why he kissed you in the first place last year. But that’s not what you want, and you’re not about to let yourself get caught up in those thoughts.
You can’t cling to Kento’s assumptions about Sukuna’s feelings.
Especially not when he’s this drunk.
Begrudgingly, Sukuna sips on the water placed in front of him, finding himself staring at the table as conversation continues on around him. Half of the table is discussing future plans, which he has no desire to contribute to, while the other half is discussing how Satoru is about to become a godfather.
He has even less of a desire to discuss kids, mostly tuning out everyone around him.
“You? Excited to be a godfather?” Suguru quips, amused. “I never thought I’d see the day.”
“It’s not like I’m having my own kid, I’m not ready for that!” He retorts, chuckling behind a glass of something that looks outside of your budget. “But I’d be a good dad,” he nods assuredly.
Toji snorts, amused. “You’re a fuckin’ frat boy,” he points out.
“I mean, yeah, I said I’m not ready yet,” he agrees with a shrug, “but I’ll be a great dad. Better than you,” he teases snidely.
Toji, unaffected, just shrugs. “Yeah, probably.”
It’s not your business, but you’ve seen glimpses of what Toji could be like, and you actually disagree. You keep your mouth shut, regardless.
“I think we can all agree Yu would make a great parent,” Shoko pipes up, directing attention to the blushing man who’s waving his hands dismissively through the air.
“Yeah, and this asshole would be the worst,” Satoru sneers, directing attention towards Sukuna.
The tone of the table drops very suddenly as Sukuna lifts his head from where it rests against the ball of his palm, fixing Satoru with a deathly stare. Half of the table knows. Half of the table is completely unaware.
And the half that knows have eyes wider than a chasm, horror plastered across their features.
“The hell’s that s’posed t’ mean?” Sukuna growls lowly, a newfound venom returning to him, like even alcohol can’t numb him from Satoru’s offensive words.
“C’mon, you’d be the worst here by a-”
Satoru is cut off with a cough as Toji hits him in the chest hard enough to make the frat boy reel back, bewildered. “Toji, what-”
“Shut the fuck up, man,” Toji warns, deathly serious.
Satoru, confused, rubs the spot where Toji smacked him.
“Nah, let ‘im continue,” Sukuna hisses, only leaving Satoru further disoriented.
Unfortunately for the table, the frat boy’s a lightweight, and he’s already had too much to think clearly. Rather than heeding Toji’s warning, he take’s Sukuna’s bait. “It’s not that deep, he’s just an asshole and he’d be just as bad of a dad as he is a friend,” Satoru affronts, having no clue what exactly he’s walked into, even as Toji and Uraume both warn him to stop. But this is Satoru, when does he ever listen?
“You don’ know th’ first thing about me, you prick,” Sukuna barks, his words horribly slurred under layers of inebriation. The table shakes as he stands suddenly. “‘Nd you don’t know th’ first thing ‘bout being a father,” he adds, earning more eyes on your table as he raises his voice enough to garner the attention of other bar patrons.
Suddenly, the football game doesn’t seem nearly as interesting to the onlookers as the giant tattooed man about to square off with the overly cocky and confident Satoru Gojo.
“Sukuna, it’s okay, let’s just-” You ignore the pounding of your heart as you rise to your feet and earn a number of stares yourself, but Sukuna’s burning in his own rage.
The implication behind Sukuna’s words goes right over Satoru’s head as he rolls his eyes. “Oh, and you do? Puh-lease,” Satoru dramatically groans in an effort to get a rise out of Sukuna. “You couldn’t even finish college, how are you supposed to provide for a-”
“Satoru!” You call across the table, placing a hand on Sukuna’s chest to prevent him from lunging across the table and strangling your arrogant friend. “Stop, please.”
For once, Satoru actually listens, if only because he’s somewhat stunned that it’s you stopping him.
“Nah, he’s right,” Sukuna growls, a twisted smirk crossing his lips. He presses against your palm as he leans in, his skin burning with warmth through the thin material of his shirt. You can’t be sure whether it’s from the alcohol or the flames that dance behind his eyes. “Say what y’re thinkin’ since you’re so much better,” he pushes, eyes narrowing. “‘M a womanizer, got fuckin’ daddy issues, can’t stay ‘n school, strapped f’r cash, right?”
Satoru’s lips part, the fun in pushing Sukuna’s buttons dissolving as things become a little bit too real. His gaze slides between the brute and you, searching for answers.
“Kuna, come on,” you plead, pressing harder against his chest, but he either doesn’t feel it or simply doesn’t care in his furious state.
“That’s what y’think, isn’t it?” He hisses, completely ignoring you, blinded by rage. The patrons that surround you have gone deathly silent as even the ambient clinking of glasses and laughter dies from the air. “‘Nd maybe y’re right,” he tacks on, relieving the pressure on your hand as he stands up straight, some form of disdain crossing his face. “I’d be a shit dad.”
Bewildered, Satoru can only stare, his eyes whipping wildly between everyone at the table as though he might be the only one who missed the memo, but there’s a variety of confused stares tucked within your group of friends. Uraume, Toji, Shoko, and Kento all share horrified expressions, but no one else is privy to the turmoil raging within your friend.
Hell, even Shoko doesn’t know the full extent, though you’re sure three shots of Everclear was enough to tip her off to something going on.
“I, uh-” Satoru pauses, shocked into uncertainty. “I didn’t mean-”
“Fuck you,” Sukuna spits with the most clarity you’ve heard in his speech all night, turning on his heel as he fishes for a cigarette in his pocket and slams the bar door open like it owes him money.
Your jaw hangs ajar, heat searing the skin of your cheeks as you flip around to face the table. You’re met with an equal amount of concern and confusion, but Toji seems to be the only one accustomed enough to Sukuna’s outbursts to bring some sense to the table.
“Way to fuckin’ go, asshole,” he grunts, smacking Satoru on the arm.
“What the hell?” The frat boy recoils, his shoulder knocking into Suguru, who seems to come to.
“What just happened?” Suguru voices what everyone is thinking.
Chewing absently on your lip, you cast a glance back at Sukuna, who you can barely make out against the dark background of the night sky outside the door. “I, um-” you stammer, turning back to the table.
“Go after him,” Uraume urges. They give you a reassuring nod when you hesitate. “I’ll be there in a bit.”
Nodding gratefully, you grab your jacket, shrugging it over your shoulders before jogging out the door.
Your friend doesn’t bother to cast you a glance as he leans against the outside of the bar, flicking ash from the end of his cigarette. The embers sputter out on the concrete below as he takes another long drag, exhaling deeply into the air overhead.
“Are you okay?”
Another drag of his cigarette. Another “fine”.
“Don’t give me that. You’re clearly not,” you push, an air of exasperation to your tone. You can’t help it anymore, of course you would get frustrated when he just won’t talk to you.
His eyes flicker down to you now, hazy with the effects of liquor.
“I know things are hard right now, but how many times do I need to tell you that I’m here for you before you listen?”
His gaze shifts down slightly, settling on your lips. When your words begin to sink in, his vision rises again. He takes another drag of his cigarette, holding his breath as the nicotine soothes his frustrations. Between the nicotine and Everclear, he finds himself oddly at ease, unbothered by the events that went down mere minutes ago.
The wounds are already bleeding, Satoru can’t push the knife that much deeper.
He just shrugs, brushing you off. “I feel fine, princess,” he mutters.
“Yeah I bet,” you scoff, staring out at the parking lot. “You’re just drunk.”
His brow furrows, too inebriated to make sense of this whole ordeal. Shouldn’t you be happy that he’s okay? That even after his blow-up with Satoru, he’s calm? So, why the hell are you so upset?
If he was in his right mind, he might get it. He might see just how frustrating he’s being.
But all he finds when he searches for answers is a sea of confusion.
“‘S that so bad?” He grunts. “Y’wanted me here, didn’t you?”
Turning back towards him, you rub at your temples in an effort to calm down. “I did. I do! but I thought…” you trail off, chewing on your lip as you compose yourself, straightening as you face him. “I thought it would be good for you- for both of us- to spend time with friends and have some drinks-”
“That not what’s goin’ on?” He interrupts, smoke coming out in puffs from his lips with each word.
You stop yourself in your tracks, blinking. Last time you saw him drunk, he’d still seemed in tune with his surroundings. His drinks were likely spread out over the course of multiple hours, watered down by a reasonable amount of soda. You’d be willing to guess he hadn’t had the equivalent of eight or so shots that night, though. He’d probably paced himself. Tonight, though, the liquor hit him hard and fast.
“You’ve had like three times as many drinks as the rest of us,” you point out, hoping he’ll read between the lines of your statement.
“So?”
But he’s far too drunk to be expected to do that. “So, you’re gonna black out if you don’t slow down!”
He’s undeniably very drunk, but even in his current state, he knows better than to say what he wants to say.
Which, in case you’re wondering, is another ‘so?’ but he holds his tongue.
Pushing himself up off the wall, he wobbles slightly as he drops his cigarette on the pavement, stomping it out beneath his boot. Like clockwork, he moves to his pocket to light another one, but your nimble fingers wrap around his wrist, stopping him before he can get the cylinder out of his jacket. He stares you down now, his expression unreadable behind droopy lids and the slight flush to his skin.
Your grip on his wrist tightens as you examine his features. He’s so painfully calm now that you find yourself questioning if you imagined his fight with Satoru. Could this even be the same Sukuna?
Day-to-day, you find yourself wondering how different Sukuna will be lately.
Hell, maybe even moment-to-moment.
You know he’s struggling to find himself amidst the maze of his complicated relationship with failure, but it’s like he’s fallen apart and in an effort to put the pieces back together, he’s been left with gaps.
Whatever version of him it is that stands before you now, he’s bitter and detached. Chewing hard on your lip, you smooth your thumb over his tattooed wrist. His muscles tense for an instant before relaxing under your soothing touch, as though he needs it more than he could even know, himself.
Even if it’s barely a sign, you see him then. Somewhere beneath the facade of indifference and haze of liquor, is your friend, terrified to his core over something that he can’t bring himself to talk about.
“What happened back there?” You ask, your entire demeanor softening.
His mind is stuck in a slog, slowed by his inebriation. It takes a moment for your words to settle in his mind.
“He just…” he trails off, his gaze never leaving your face. “Pissed me off.”
You can understand that, you know those two get under each other’s skin. But there’s more to it, and you know that.
“He didn’t know, Sukuna,” you point out. “He was just trying to get a rise out of you.”
Again, a pause as he thinks. “Yuji called-” he trips over his words, running his tongue over his lower lip as he steadies his mind. “- called me ‘dad’ when ‘e left.”
The air stills. The stars don’t twinkle overhead. The rumbling of distant engines comes to an unsettling halt as Sukuna’s muscles tense beneath your fingers. His hand balls into a fist, but whatever mix of anger, fear, and devastation it is that he feels is fleeting. He has nothing left to give. No tears to cry, no anger to let loose.
He’s tired.
Your lips part as horror shakes you to your core. Your grip on his wrist tightens, the air hanging heavy with his confession as it settles in just how much Satoru had accidentally gotten under Sukuna’s skin. Of course, he’s always struggled separating his duties as a brother with his duties as a guardian, but Satoru hadn’t just gotten under his skin.
He’d accidentally pushed the knife deeper.
That’s why Sukuna had blown up, even in his currently indifferent state.
“Kuna…” You breathe, giving him a small tug towards you until you can wrap your arms around his broad frame. He doesn’t move for a moment, blankly staring at you as his mind catches up. That extra moment allows your warmth to envelop him and his shoulders fall as he melts into your embrace, his eyes flickering shut as he holds you tightly.
Time stills around you as Sukuna shifts, his arms snaking tightly around your waist as he leans down to your level. His breath fans your neck as he rests his chin on your shoulder, letting out a long breath. Heat blooms at the base of your neck where his breath tickles you, rising to the tips of your ears. 
You’re sure he can feel, maybe even hear the way your heart races, but he’s too drunk to make heads or tails of it.
“I’m sorry, Kuna.”
He stiffens slightly as he hears his brothers’ voices in the back of his mind, calling out for him. Calling for Kuna. “‘S fine.”
“It’s not,” you pull back and his hands fall to your waist, resting as if they belong there. It certainly doesn’t do your heart any favors to have him holding you so tightly and painfully intimately. Worse still is the way his gaze holds heat that you’d recognize a mile away, but it’s also twisted with confusion. He’s staring at you with brows drawn together as though you’re a puzzle to figure out, but clings to you like you’re all that keeps him from the abyss he’s trapped in.
Feeling nothing is better than feeling everything at once. The intensity of his own emotions drove him to order Everclear in the first place as he struggled to keep up the mask of being okay. While he’ll take the haze it offers over the tumultuous water he’s been treading all week without help, you offer an escape from both.
It’s subconscious, the way he leans in closer, the way his eyes flicker to your lips as his body tells him what he wants so badly, but hasn’t had the guts to do.
And how can you not pick up on the signs? His lips part, his fingers curling into the plush of your skin as he yearns for nothing more than to let his eyes flutter shut and capture your lips with his own.
All these months, and your taste never left his tongue. He always pushed the thought away, figuring it was a figment of his imagination, but his yearning is real. Painfully so.
What is it that they say about these sorts of emotions? Drunken words are sober thoughts? Does it apply to actions, too?
But even at the brink of being blackout drunk, he can't.
Why is it that he's frozen, inches away from what he wants so badly?
Your eyes widen slightly at the close proximity, instinctively taking a step back when you feel the warmth of his chest against your own.
He’s just drunk, he’s just drunk, he’s just drunk-
The thought repeats itself in your mind like clockwork and you hesitantly place your hands on his chest, using enough pressure against the muscles to keep some breathing room between you.
His lips twitch downwards slightly at the pressure, trying to figure you out.
One moment he swears you’re in love with him still, and the next, he’s wondering if he’s read every sign wrong and Uraume led him astray. Maybe this isn’t what you want at all, and he can’t bear to step into another mistake he can’t come back from.
Fuck, he’s too drunk for this. So, he lets you press against his chest and put space between the both of you before anything can happen.
“Sukuna?” You barely whisper his name, a slight tremor to your hands against his broad chest.
His adam’s apple bobs, his tongue swiping across his lower lip as his mind races to catch up to his flurry of thoughts, but before he has a chance to reply, the door to your side swings open to reveal Uraume.
Their lips form an ‘O’ as they pause at the door, which swings shut behind them. Their gaze sweeps the position they’ve found you both in, before taking in Sukuna’s confused and hazy-eyed scowl and your shocked and confused blinking.
“Am I interrupting?”
“No, you’re good!” You squeak, stepping out of Sukuna’s grasp with little resistance. You exchange a glance with him, but can’t deduce much from his expression under the influence of entirely too much liquor.
They nod slowly, taking a step out towards the both of you.
“What happened back there, Sukuna?”
Frustrated as the same question is thrown at him again, he drags his hands down his face. His answer is largely the same to them as it was to you. “He pissed me off.”
“I gathered that,” Uraume replies sarcastically at his half-assed response, taking a step forward to stand at your side. “Are you alright?” They address you.
You nod, shooting them a smile.
Their attention returns to Sukuna again. “I know you’re upset with the loss of your brothers, but you mentioned a meeting with your lawyer. Things should be alright, no?”
Sukuna huffs dramatically, shaking his head before throwing his arms uselessly through the air. “‘T doesn’ fuckin’ matter anymore,” he mutters, instinctively reaching for another cigarette. Your skin itches to stop him, but you fear it’ll only make things worse if you do.
The chemicals pounding through his bloodstream keep him comfortably numb in the cool night air. The temperature is nearly freezing, preparing to leave behind a layer of early spring frost on the grass overnight, but none of you notice thanks to the blanket of warmth the shots you’ve all downed provides.
“Got no cash left,” he shrugs with one shoulder. “Doesn’ matter anyway. Lawyer thinks ‘s useless,” he tacks on with a puff of smoke.
Thinking back to his office on Tuesday morning, you think a part of you already knew he was broke. You’d seen the signs, but you’re sure the money can be scrounged up somehow. You’re more worried about the latter half of his statement as you finally get some answers out of him.
“What? What did she say?” You push, your own anxiety clawing at your chest as your breathing wavers.
Flicking ash to the ground, Sukuna exhales loudly, wracking his clouded mind for some semblance of the legal explanation she gave. “Courts c’n deny appeals, so she-” he pauses, narrowing his eyes as he recalls the conversation, “- she’s worried wi’out new evidence ‘r proof of some sort o’ bullshit in the trial, they might toss th’ case.” He takes a long drag of his cigarette, staring out at the parking lot blankly. The way he’s emotionlessly rattling off words makes you think that he might just be reciting what he heard in his own words, barely considering how either of you might react.
Your blood runs cold at the thought of the boys being alone with a mother they don’t know, without their anchor. The same goes for Sukuna, clearly adrift at sea without his own anchors as he slides headfirst into poor coping mechanisms.
“You need to fight, Sukuna,” you push, frantically glancing between him and Uraume. They may both remain calm, but you see through their silence. Sukuna is at wit’s end and Uraume simply knows how to keep a straight face.
Sukuna puffs smoke above him, languidly watching it swirl above him.
Your throat tightens as tears gather at your lash line. You attempt to blink them away, wrapping your arms around yourself at Sukuna’s signs of defeat. Your voice breaks when you push again. “You can’t give up, Kuna. They need you.”
“What d’ya want fr’m me?” He growls, exasperated as he turns to face you. “I tried!” He insists, throwing his hand through the air as smoke spirals around him with the action.
You chew on your lip, a warm tear spilling down your cheek as you stare at your feet. Sukuna backs down, turning towards the parking lot again as he takes another desperate drag of nicotine.
He just wants to forget. Forget about everything. The trial, his brothers, this moment. He wants it all gone. It’s easier.
Just once, he wants to take the easy way out.
“Have you looked through your files again for more evidence?” Uraume presses, remaining a beacon of calm as they set a hand on your trembling shoulder in reassurance.
“No point,” he huffs.
“Why not?”
Sukuna bristles, the constant questions getting under his skin. Is it too much to ask for a single day where he can let himself forget the bullshit? “‘Cause I did!” He barks, finally turning to face the both of you. “I fuckin’ did ‘lready!” He lets out a dry laugh. “I can’t- not again.” He grows quiet, jaw clenching as anguish seeps through his impassivity. “‘M tired,” he admits, barely audible over muffled laughter from within the bar.
You ache to reach out to him, but Uraume knows you both better than you seem to know yourselves.
“You don’t need to go through the documents alone.”
Sukuna’s empty gaze meets Uraume’s, before his eyes slide back to the parking lot.
“Go inside,” they urge you quietly, squeezing your shoulder. “We’ll be in soon.” You open your mouth to protest, but they cut you off. “Please. I’d like a moment.”
Solemnly, you finally find it in yourself to nod, wiping your tears as you turn towards the door with an uncertain glance at Sukuna. As the door shuts behind you, Uraume takes a moment to take in just how far gone any semblance of the Sukuna they know is.
“Why didn’t you say anything after your meeting?”
He grits his teeth, his grip on the cigarette between his fingers tightening. Three shots of Everclear had him thinking he’d escaped this strangled nightmare, yet here he still is, still floating adrift at sea.
When his head simply hangs as he remains silent, Uraume continues pushing. “Why wouldn’t you ask for help?”
“B’cause ‘m done!” He barks, whipping around to face them with only half as much fury as he musters on a bad day. He shrugs dramatically, his arms making a plop! sound as the leather of his sleeves makes contact with the sides of the jacket. “Jus’ leave me-” he swallows suddenly, forcing the lump in his throat down as nausea rocks him a step forward. “Christ,” he moans as the urge to vomit comes over him.
He can’t pinpoint the cause in this state, but he doesn’t want to feel the Everclear coming back up.
He can keep a straight face as it burns his throat on the way down, but he doesn’t want to think about that taste coming back up.
“What happened to the man that wouldn’t give up for his brothers?” Uraume pushes.
Holding his head, Sukuna groans again. “Dunno,” he replies simply, not taking any real time to consider their words.
Uraume frowns, crossing their arms over their chest. “I’m taking you home.”
“‘M fine, fuck off.”
Ignoring him, they turn back towards the door. “Wait here. I’ll go pay for our drinks.” The ambient laughter and clinking spills out into the open night air as Uraume holds the door for a moment, pausing before they head back inside. “By the way, figure your feelings out for her,” they jut their chin out in the direction of the table where you’re seated with your friends once again. “Don’t mess with her just because you’re drunk.”
With that, they leave Sukuna outside to mull over their words, knowing fully well nothing will sit well with him in his current state.
The table is in a general state of confusion still when Uraume reappears as Satoru attempts to make sense of what the hell he’d just unraveled. His array of questions are met with an overall frustrating silence as those who’re aware of Sukuna’s situation struggle not to give out too many details. Tough, when the cat’s now out of the bag. It doesn’t take a lot to figure out that Sukuna, to some extent, has kids.
Uraume’s reappearance brings all eyes to them.
“How is ‘e?” Toji queries.
“I’m taking him home. I don’t think he should be alone, I plan on staying the night,” they explain, digging through their wallet to pull out some cash and set it in front of you. “That should cover him and I.”
You nod, mouthing a silent ‘thank you’ as you wipe your tears. They shoot you a sympathetic smile.
Sniffling, you do what you can to ignore your own devastation. No matter how much you love his brothers like family, you don’t get to call the shots. You can’t fight for them, and you can’t force Sukuna to fight.
It doesn’t make it any easier, though.
The idea of Yuji losing the only person he knows as his guardian forms a lump in your throat that you can’t seem to push down. As silently as possible, you sharply inhale a shaky breath.
It hurts. It hurts and you’re helpless, unable to do anything but cry, which feels painfully like defeat.
Even if he gives up, you’re not ready to give up. But what are you supposed to do? You can’t pull new evidence out of thin air. You can’t find evidence of an unfair trial when Kaori made sure her arguments were airtight.
You’re lost, too. In your own way.
You take another deep breath, steadying yourself as best as you can, even as anguish pushes the knife deeper and deeper, with no plans on leaving your heart unscathed.
Sukuna’s going through more, you remind yourself. You can’t let yourself break when he clearly needs you. No matter how thin you spread yourself, you need to remain strong for him. Because no matter how lost you feel, you can only imagine he feels worse.
Maybe it’s the wrong way of looking at things, but you want to be his rock. You’ll figure out your classes, your paper, your exams. You’ll figure it all out while you’re still there for him. He needs a hand, whether he’s willing to admit it or not, and you’ll be there with your hand out when he’s ready to accept that.
Even if he isn’t ready to accept it.
So you steel yourself, unwilling to fall to your own issues. His are greater, you can’t allow yourself to crumble under less.
“Let us know when you get to his place,” Atsuya chips in, chewing on a toothpick.
Uraume nods solemnly. “Got it. I’ll text you.”
Your heart drops as they turn to walk away, concern twisting your puffy features. Shoko’s arm wraps around your shoulders as she pulls you into a side hug. “Have some drinks. Have fun. He’ll be okay. You deserve to have fun tonight.”
You want to believe her, you really do.
But you just find yourself wondering how long Sukuna can last like this, lost in a battle with his own demons.
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main masterlist || series masterlist || previous chapter || next chapter - coming soon
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❦ a/n ; everyone is struggling :')
i know i say it a lot, but thank you all so much for all the support, from the bottom of my heart <33 it really does mean the world and all of your kind words constantly have me itching to keep writing.
i'm really, really looking forward to working on and sharing the next chapter too, we'll get a lot more insight into sukuna's life before reader and just how much kaori absolutely sucks (as if you all didn't already know that LOL)
anyway, thank you sm as always, ily all <33
❦ taglist ; OPEN. please comment here or on the masterlist if you would like to be tagged. age MUST be easily visible on your blog.
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@hellish4ever @cuntyji @theonlyhonoredone @catobsessedlady @timetoletmyimaginationfly
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writing & format © starmapz. art © 3-aem. dividers © adornedwithlight & cafekitsune
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paradisestarfishh · 3 days ago
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✧ 𝐂𝐖. Smut, true form Kuna giving you 🍆 18+ only!! P1
You were now fully naked, hearing the silk robe tossed onto the floor somewhere. A silent gulp is swallowed as you become flustered again. Glancing back, you see that Sukuna was stroking one of his cocks, huge hand sliding up and down his even bigger dick. “Which one do you want, sweetheart?” He asked, grinning. “I uhm…the one you’ve got in your hand.” You nervously smile, your irises full of excitement.
“The bigger one, huh? You naughty thing.” Sukuna teased, one of his huge hands palming your ass, while another one slides against your arched back, pushing you down in the bed. Face down ass up style. You smile even more, flustered, half of your face laying into the comfy covers of you and your husband’s shared bed. “Mmm they’re both pretty big still. I just thought you’d wanna fuck me with the one you were already stroking.”
“So considerate of me. Do you know how much I adore that quality of yours?” Sukuna gently smiled back, his tummy smiling too against his muscles. “How much?” You coo with a happy feeling shining in your chest. Thick fingers then dig into the fat of your ass, making a sweet moan escape your mouth. Another pair of moans fill the room as you feel a mushroom tip twitching against your already wet hole from the first orgasm.
“This much.”
Sukuna then placed his other two hands to hold against your waist, squeezing, while his big red hued tip easily slid into your pussy. Walls already fluttering his girth, tight and soaking with more arousal at your husband filling you. “O-Oh fuck.” You tightly moan out, eyes fluttering in pleasure. Sukuna’s low groans fill your ears as his four crimson eyes watch your cunt.
“S-So tight. Every time.” He husked out, siren eyes narrowing at your warmth. Sukuna pants a bit as he pulls his strong hips back, gently thrusting more of his 9 inches into your hole. It stretched you out so good, your clit already throbbing again. His cock underneath rubbed against it, twitching as it kept leaking all for you. “Shit. Ready for me?” Sukuna groans, low.
You hazily nod as your glossy lips quiver, clenching around your husband’s cock, the big stretch of your cunt making your head spin. “My good girl. You can take it.” Sukuna reassured you with a hum, still holding his veiny hands against your waist, a third one now gently wrapping around your throat. Squeezing. You feel your lips murmur a moan as you smile, enjoying his touch. “Y-Yes sir.” You breathe, a little cock drunk.
“That’s right. Keep that face where I can see it. I want to see your expressions as I make love to this sweet cunt.” Sukuna smirked, pushing his muscular hips into your ass, thick dick pressing inside, deeper. Tip leaking precum all against your cervix. “Hah— Kunaaaa.” You moan as your eyes roll back a bit, lashes fluttering. Sukuna gives your waist a squeeze as the sensitivity tickles you. “You look so beautiful with my cock inside of you.” He growled under his breath, starting to move.
The bed began to heavily rock back and forth as Sukuna used all his effortless strength to pound his cock inside your crying pussy, soaking your previous orgasm all over his inches. Each thrust hitting deep loving strokes that fucked into you, quickly. You gasp out and claw at the bed sheets under you, feeling so damn full. Sukuna leaned over, dicking you down even more as he grunted against your ear. “I love you.” He confessed.
You whine and loudly whimper as your fucked out side profile gave Sukuna a love filled gaze. “I-I love you ah— too, baby!” Sukuna smirked and choked you a little more, feeling as you clenched all around his thrusting dick. His veins printed along them, throbbing, as he felt pleasurable warmth all over his cock. The one underneath kept sliding all over your clit, already soaked from your arousal dripping out of your filled hole onto the bottom, which was right where his dick was.
“Soaking my hnng— cock so good. My agh— messy p-perfect wife.” Sukuna husked out, voice deep and needy. He felt the tongue on his belly slide out to flick against your ass, all while it recoiled against his abs from how hard he fucked you. “Ouuuuu fuck, Kuna! S-So wet nghhh— and w-warm.” You gasp out at the new feeling your pleasure filled body felt. Sukuna’s thick fingers tremble against your throat, groaning.
“Ugh— this body with a mind of its own. Such b-betrayal.” Sukuna huffed with a weak smirk on his lips, unhooking his fingers around your neck to place his hand beside you, his other one following while he kept grinding his cock into you. All with loving intentions just to make his sweet wife feel good. He couldn’t care less about his pleasure. Not one bit.
Just as long as you felt good.
If that was checked out? He was more than content.
Big muscular tatted arms trap your upper torso against the bed, flexing, as subtle sweat trickled down them. You bite your glossy lip as more moans sing out of your throat at the sight. Your husband was so fine. And fucked you so well. Sukuna’s pink hair was messier than before, curling from all the heat. “Urgh— You’re going to make me c-cum, sweetheart.” Sukuna raspily grunted, placing deep kisses into your arching back.
Only you could make the King of Curses finish this fast.
You hum with a moan, smiling dazily at your husband’s kisses, squeezing your sensitive gummy walls all over his twitching dick, suffocating his girth. His fingers gripped your waist harder, pulling you back and forth to stretch your cunt even more on his cock, so close to filling you with white. Sukuna’s balls clench with a deep sigh at your fluttering, teasing him. He could feel your cream smudging against your pussy lips.
Sukuna could also feel it making an even bigger mess on his girth. Those thoughts and the pleasure soaring through his cock, made both of them throb in sync, Sukuna moaning hoarsely in your ear with no shame. One more deep thrust inside your heavenly pussy, had his dick pumping all his cum against your poor cervix. Thick loads of nut filling you to the brim, so messy and desperate to stuff you full of his seed.
It was ovulation week and this is where it’s led you.
Leaking slick mixed cum out of your pussy that was stuffed.
Meh, you two needed an heir anyway.
✧ 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞: I got WAYYY too carried away 😭😭 #freakshit
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© 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐎𝐋𝐋 | no reuploading, editing, or copying my works
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paradisestarfishh · 4 days ago
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Ryomen Sukuna
♡ TW: orphan!reader, fire, Sukuna in general, kidnapping, implied abuse
♡ GN reader
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The temple’s on fire.
Tall crackling flames lick the black sky. You stand and watch wide-eyed as it smokes out every star.
Barefoot, you grip the ground with your toes to steady yourself. You’ve never owned shoes. Never needed to, you’ve never been outside, and now all you’ve ever known is burning to the ground before you. 
The scent of burning wood is joined by blood, rusty and bitter and biting, and even though your nose is stuffed full, you can’t seem to get enough of it.
Taking a big breath you really can’t afford, you cough while smiling from ear to ear.
There’s screaming, but you’re used to the sound. Or no, this is a little different. You’re used to ripping your own throat out, but it’s not you this time. It’s everyone else: the monks, the nuns, the others. They’re all melting—melting away into nothing. Some might say it’s for their sins, but you know better than to believe in divine intervention.
No, this is all happening on a whim.
And you'll be sure to thank whoever's whim it is, you think as you watch as the temple collapses in on itself with a big crash, ashes to ashes. And with the red reflecting in your eyes, you let out a sound you’ve never made before. A loud, boisterous sound—not far off from a scream, but so very different all at the same time.
Sukuna stops his rampage at the noise. Skin sizzling with sweat that doesn’t roll, but steams and disappears. Swimming in the carnage with blood up to his elbows—he’d been having a fun time. He’s always loved making graveyards out of sanctuaries. But the laughter that cuts through the air over the cries of pain and despair is all so misplaced that he has to drop what he’s doing and go find it.
And what he finds is you. Dainty little malnourished thing. If he couldn't tell already, the tattered rags you wear make it more than obvious what you are. Orphan. And the bruises lining your joints tell him all about what they used you for. 
Some holy place this was, he sneers.
Very soon, your laughter grows ecstatic, and you start jumping in place, as high up as you can reach, barefoot on the heated gravel.
You must be in shock. He’s surprised you’re even able to stand, much less be whooping and hollering with all these hellflames surrounding you, not to mention his presence, which should be enough to force anyone to their knees. 
One might mistake you for a demon if you're not careful.
“Oi, brat,” he announces.
Still, you don’t stop your celebration—you take your time before you sigh with a deep exhale, looking up at the sky where the embers snuff against the black backdrop.
You don’t even acknowledge him as you speak. “You have my gratitude… Never in my life did I even dream of seeing anything so beautiful...”
He has to snort. It's been a while since anyone has thanked him for anything. Actually, coming to think of it... he doesn't think he's ever been thanked before whatsoever.
You keep looking up for another moment. There’s this air of peacefulness around you despite the surrounding fiery chaos. 
And then, just as calmly, you finally turn around to face him.
“I can die happy now.”
Eyes closed, and arms spread out to your side, you lift your chin and show him your neck. And with a contented smile spread on your lips, you say, “You have my blessing to kill me.”
And oh, how it makes his eye twitch. His smile, as well—or no, it’s not a smile, it’s more of an affronted grimace. 
Giving him thanks is one thing, but blessing? To kill? 
Now that’s definitely a first…
“Hey!” you squeal as the bloody demon picks you up off your scorched feet and throws you over his back instead of dealing you the final blow. “What are you doing? Put me down!”
His face remains jaded even through your screaming, only arching a brow when scoffing. “Tch—pint-sized brats should know better than to give orders.”
The way you pound his back with balled fists feels like nothing short of rain-patter. Not even enough to be called a message, much less a beating—or whatever it is you're hoping to achieve, whilst roaring, “I gave you my blessing!”
He nearly gags at the word. “I don’t take lives in turn for dumb things such as blessings.”
“Then you don’t have it!” you snip. “I’ll curse you instead!”
“Hah!” That’s more like it—he laughs, needing to throw his head back, “I’ve been bored lately. You’re funny for a runt, so I think I’ll keep you around for a while,” he wonders out loud for you to hear, continuing to carry you away from the wreckage.
“I’ve heard pets help pass the time.”
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♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist
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paradisestarfishh · 4 days ago
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BLACK SHEEP!!
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synopsis: who knew that the shy, awkward and dorky girl Suguru thought was weird would end up being the love of his life?
pairing: college!suguru geto x dork!reader
contains: fluff, angst, suggestiveness, strangers to lovers, geto being a dick, recreational use of wed, partying, tbd
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“Who the fuck is she?” Suguru yelled out.
The party they were in was incredibly loud. Music was blasting all over Gojo’s house, the pink and purple mood lighting and the sticky floors and counters would give anybody sensory issues if they weren’t high or drunk.
He had entered the living room after spending a suspicious amount of time in the bathroom with another girl, blunt in hand as he approached Satoru.
The white-haired man giggled, his pupils blown out as he looked over to his best friend.
“Huh?”
“Dumbass, there are like, at least sixty people here, half of them girls.” Shoko retorted, pushing off of Satoru, cigarette in hand.
Suguru rolled his eyes, cursing under his breath. God, he should’ve known that half his band would’ve been high as hell.
“The one with the glasses and on her phone.” Suguru added, turning to look at said girl.
You were minding your business, sitting on the farthest side of the couch next to the patio doors.
The anime you were clearly enjoying helped soothe all the overstimulation from being in such a chaotic environment. It wasn’t that you’ve never been to a college party before, but it was odd to see so much stuff in only one night.
Like, when you arrived here with Utahime, there was literally a drunk naked man standing in the lawn, yelling at everybody who went inside.
You were used to the more…tamer parties. With sweet chili Doritos instead of molly and 
cute Ramune bottles instead of vodka shots. 
You had no idea how Utahime met people who partied like this. Even worse, why would she think that you would be social for once in your life?
You just hoped she came back quickly enough from the convenience store so she could drive you back home. 
“That’s…uh, I don’t know. I don’t really care.” Gojo shrugged as the trio stared at you, watching you whisper to yourself about this horrible experience.
Suguru was pissed, quite frankly. 
First off, you ruined the whole vibe of what was supposed to be an after party with his band.
Secondly, you were a fucking dork. He had seen you last semester, and absolutely hated you the moment you arrived in the lecture hall.
You were just such…such a nuisance for the guitarist. How awkward you were, how you only talked to the teachers.
“C’mon, Suguru, what’s she gonna even do?” Shoko asked, taking a puff from her blunt.
Suguru clenched his jaw. “She’s buddies with my professor. I don’t want her to snitch.” He said with a scowl, glaring at you with his violet eyes. 
“There’s nothing to snitch about, dude.” Gojo shrugged. “We’re all drinking age.”
Suguru sighed at his best friend’s stupidity, rubbing his nose bridge. 
“The weed and molly here isn’t exactly legal, Satoru.”
“...Right. Let’s kick her out.”
“No, we’re not gonna kick her out. She’s minding her own fucking business.” 
“I’m kicking her out, Shoko. Who even invited her?” Suguru asked, his tongue darting out to fix his snake bites. 
“My girlfriend, you dipshit. The one who’s buying all the beers right now.” Shoko deadpanned, getting up.
“You guys are a bunch of fucking losers sometimes. I’m gonna wait for Utahime outside with Choso and his girl.”
Gojo smiled like a puppy, waving Shoko away. Suguru stood up, finally deciding what to do.
Your phone buzzed with a notification and you looked at it, seeing Utahime’s icon. 
“I’m three minutes away, girl.” 
You sighed in relief, going to stand up. As you did, you bumped into someone’s chest.
You squinted, fixing your glasses and looking up at the man.
Geto Suguru in the flesh.
The most popular guy on campus, lead guitarist of the band The Black Flash.
You flushed, completely embarrassed that you’re face to face with one of the hottest men you’ve seen, in an anime hoodie and worn down jeans. 
“Oh, it’s so nice-”
“Cut the shit. What are you doing here?” Suguru cut you off, glaring down at you.
 You frowned, lips going into a pout due to your braces. 
“I’m…I’m waiting for someone. I’m with a friend.”
Suguru chuckled, grinning bitterly.
“You sure that’s it? You weren’t…I don’t know, looking for something that makes good black mail?” 
You chuckled nervously at the idea, hugging yourself. “No, I…I wouldn’t do that. Why would I do that?”
Suguru frowned, sighing. “I have a good reputation. A lot of people would try to ruin that for me. Especially losers with no life that are jealous of others.”
“Look, Geto. I…I was already planning on leaving.” You stuttered out, gulping slightly.
Suguru nodded. He was sure that you were going to snitch. He felt like a dick about it, but at least him basically bullying you into not snitching would be better than whatever his manager, Toji, would do. 
“Right. You do that. And don’t come back. I don’t need your sorry ass ruining everybody’s vibe anymore, dork.” He said, walking back to the couch to smoke.
You stayed quiet, repeating all his hurtful words back in your head. 
It wasn’t the first time someone had said you were a nerd. Or a loser. It just hurt more because it was someone you were actually trying to be nice to. 
Not long after, you felt those small drops of water fall from your soft cheeks. You mentally chided yourself for crying, taking your fogged up glasses off and wiping whatever pathetic excuse of makeup you had on your eyelids off along with your tears.
The chorus to a rock song blasted as you quickly walked to the exit, passing by a confused blond man with emo hair and Choso, a friend from your anthropology class, and his girlfriend. 
As you received the fresh air from outside, a choked sound came out of your throat, and you realized that you were probably sobbing the whole way to Gojo’s lawn.
Utahime’s Toyota Prelude pulled up to the curb and you could only think one thing as you looked at the party inside the fabulous house.
You fucking hate Suguru Geto.
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a/n: Geto is actually a dick cuz I miss having a super angsty enemies to lovers
tags: @sailorbu @eolivy @rociofda @se-phi-roth @hopefulpeachcolor @rcveriees @meowpopsicle @somethignelse @sukukuna @tojismilkbag @canary58143 @kidd3ath @11thlife02 @thenightperson @whoreforjjkmen @iluvujt @f4iryfxies @sunehry @raggedypansexual @love-me-satoru
comment to be tagged!
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paradisestarfishh · 4 days ago
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Pornstar! Suguru
pairings - Pornstar! Suguru x Camgirl! Reader
warnings - oral (m and f receiving) fingering, p in v sex, Suguru is whipped, so is reader, mentions of masturbation, backshots, creampie, light smacking, choking, Suguru has piercingsss
I've gotten a lot of requests for Pornstar! Suguru from Baby you're a Star, so here's a drabble for him!
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Pornstar! Suguru who is just a little nervous when he gets asked to join your OF stream, you are so pretty and you've only done solo, so he knows it's a big deal. You're giggling when he walks into your place, starstruck by him, he was one of the most popular stars there were of course! His violet eyes darken when the two of you are in your cute little room, a bed full of plushies and lit up with pink string lights, silky pink blankets and pillows. 'Girly, huh?' he teases, as if he didn't already know exactly what your room looked like, watching as the ringlight illuminates your pretty body as you strip slowly. 'I do love pink, it's true' you murmur, almost a little shy as his eyes devour you - and why? Thousands of people see you, but it's him.
Pornstar! Suguru has done countless shoots, on and off professional sets, but the way you look right now in the warm glow of the light makes him falter for a moment, before collecting himself, seeing your nerves. 'So pretty, shit I'm sorry...' he trails off, making you instantly relax, taking his hand then and looking under your lashes. 'You're a little more experienced at couples' shoots, can you guide me a bit, Geto?' He nods then, turning you and making you gasp out, then bending you over, beginning the stream. You feel such a thrill as sure hands guide up your thighs, and his big hand smacking your ass and making your tummy clench in desire then at the sting.
Pornstar! Suguru displays you like a fucking prize, as the stream goes insane with comments and tips. You whine out when his long slender fingers find your slit, thighs trembling already, slick making the perfect clicking noise just for both of your fans. 'Fuck, this wet already?' He taunts softly, you just whine out, arching your pretty ass up for more. Suguru sinks two fingers in to the knuckle then, groaning as he feels that grip, curling them up, your head falling back as you cry out in pleasure, as his fingers press that spot in your walls that makes you blinded. He has the audacity to slip his other hand up your spine, leaving goosebumps everywhere, lips against your ear - 'bet I make you feel so much better than that dildo you fuck this pretty pussy with'
Pornstar! Suguru thrives off any of his co stars pleasure. But he is dying to bury his throbbing cock inside you then. You may not know, but he's jerked it to your videos countless times, your pussy was so perfect on camera. But in person? - 'Ngh!' - You're crying out now, he feels your muscles clench, when he slips his fingers out, sucking your sweetness off them. That's when Suguru loses it, your taste fucks him up, before you can process he's on his knees, cool metal of his tongue ring flicking your clit. 'Oh my god I- ah!' You're trembling as his tongue devours you, the moans are not for show. Fuck you've never felt this good, back arching to fuck his handsome face. You pause, whispering - 't-too much, I'm so sorry-' only for him to slip his tongue in and out of your cunt in the most delicious tongue fuck.
Pornstar! Suguru chuckles a bit, leaning up as you look back at him. Your hands are gripping your soft pink blankets as his silken black hair falls against your thighs. 'Keep fucking my face, Princess, s'okay' he starts fucking you with that long pink tongue again, slurping you up so obscene to the thrill of your viewers but it's hard to remember they're there when he curls up in your gummy walls and you're gushing down his face. Pressure hitting your tummy making you scream out, head thrown back, shaking. 'Suguru! I'm cumming!' He chuckles, acting like he's not leaking pre against his pants right now, murmuring - 'cum all over m'face, hmm?'
Pornstar! Suguru you've certainly heard of numerous times from friends, but you did not know how talented he was, when you're cumming so hard and he's drinking it all up, tongue ring clicking right on that little clit while he spreads you wide for the camera. He has to remember to get all your good angles, it's what a costar does. Costars don't bury their face like he's dying to again, and costars certainly don't whimper and touch themselves, but Suguru is too lost in that flavor circling his taste buds, licking your juices off his lips when he stands, smacking your cunt with a sharp tap. He takes your hair in his hands, pulling at it - you agreed to it a little rough before hand - but he still whispers in your ear 'this all okay, love?' and you nod weakly as he pulls you to your knees. 'Yes, I'm good, promise.'
Pornstar! Suguru is of course notorious for being caring and thoughtful, but he's usually not rough on set - it was a bit of a special request, since you so frequently find yourself masturbating to his videos - not that you'd say so! - But of course he was your first and only choice for a partner on cam, you were all too shocked when he said yes. He gently smacks your cheeks each, while you suck him, only serving to make you wetter, but something about your eyes darting up and gazing at his perfect, chiseled body so slow makes his cock even more sensitive, you grind against the bed for friction while he fucks your throat. You study the piercings on his flat brown nipples, thumb brushing over the one on his belly button, but your favorite is the one on his cock, the one you're strategically massaging your tongue on, watching his adam's apple bob as his head falls back.
Pornstar! Suguru always uses protection, but he may or may not have ignored the condoms laying there, and you may or may not have said a thing, just eagerly begging him to fuck you - 'now, please, mnh!' with your ass in the air. He grabs your hips tightly with his huge hands, gentle at first, but then he loses his mind inside your hot, soaking wet cunt, his silken locks falling against your back as he bends over you, cock shoved balls deep. You're stuffed so full you scream out, as his hand grips one of your pretty tits, squishing them and twisting your nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Your head falls back against him when he just rolls those hips - saying the most filthy things in varying tones. 'Tight little cunt, it's a big stretch isn't it?' he says loud for the cam, but then in your other ear, just a murmur - 'Feel so fuckin' perfect wrapped around me, Princess' the contradictions so sweet and perfect you're shattering in front of him.
Pornstar! Suguru is lost in your scent, your moans, how good you fucking feel, he can't pay attention to the absorbent amount of tips or comments, if he did he may get mad, he doesn't think he'd like to read how badly men wanna fuck you. To know he's your first for a shoot like this gets him feral, possessive, one hand around your throat and squeezing now. 'Cum f'me, huh, lemme feel her grip me so good - hah- there it is' you can't tell what's for show anymore, not when he squeezes under your jaw while he slams his cock in, not when you're cumming and gushing arousal all down his veiny length. Not when you're trembling, and begging - 'cum in me, Suguru please!' like a whole fucking idiot, and not when he does just that, giving you both your first creampies on set.
Pornstar! Suguru gets the perfect shot of that cum oozing out of your pretty, abused little hole, the bright pink of your cunt such a stark contrast to the white ropes pouring. He scowls when he reads the comments, jaw clenched- he doesn't know why but he gets furious, shutting off the camera now and flipping you on your back. You giggle, so breathless, hands brushing his locks as his violet eyes go almost black. 'Done with the shoot?' you ask softly, he nods just a bit, before fingering the cum drooling down your inner thigh, shoving it back in, watching your soppy little hole swallow it. 'Not done with you yet, princess' he murmurs, sucking the mix of you off his fingers, cheeks hollowing before he is right back to fucking you, this time kissing you on your lips- and it's off camera.
Pornstar! Suguru has no issue coming back the next morning with a plan B and breakfast, he'd buy stock in them if he could bust inside you five times in one night again. You're all flustered, somehow you have on his dress shirt, messy hair as you take it with your coffee, and he has the faintest blush on his cheeks. The two of you did so well, a whole fucking sensation. So Suguru has to of course bring you to his house next time, to do another stream the next week, and the two of you can't help each other from doing shoots together constantly. Rumors surround the two of you - are you a couple!? - but both of you never answer them, you both assume the mating presses and desperate kisses behind Suguru's curtain of hair speak for themselves.
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Sugu needs more lovvve !!
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