paradoxmist - Tumblr blog

[paradoxmist]

Why are men so annoyingggg

[paradoxmist]

The hardest goodbyes are the ones we say to our past selves. The former idealistic selves that have long vanished in fumes of the multiple funerals held for parts of us we imagined we’d hold onto forever.

[paradoxmist]

WANNA WEAR RED LIPSTICK WITH HIGH HEELS AND GO DANCING, FIND A GORGEOUS MAN TO DANCE WITH AND LOCK EYES THE WHOLE TIME AND MAKE OUT IN HIS CAR WHILE DRIVING TO A HILL OVERLOOKING THE CITY AND SIT TALK ABOUT HOW WE FEEL INSIGNIFICANT IN THIS UNIVERSE FULL OF STARS, PEOPLE AND DUST AS WE LEAN ON EACH OTHERS SHOULDER AND ONE BY ONE EVERYTHING FADES AWAY UNTIL WE CAN SEE NOTHING BUT THE BRIGHTLY LIT MOON AND HEAR NOTHING BUT EACH OTHERS HEART BEAT. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR ?

[paradoxmist]

Qala, finally a hindi film with great scenes

[paradoxmist]

“I just don’t think I should be the judge of who actually needs my help or not, like they should do a dance or sing me a song to prove they’re worthy. Asking for help when you need it should be enough.” ― Adam Silvera, They Both Die at the End

[paradoxmist]

shadows

[paradoxmist]

Why do I have to write these exams? And have lunch at 12? Go to classes? Why does somebody else get to dictate when I do what? Why can’t I just lay on my bed and read all the books I’ve hoarded and have been resisting due to academic pressure? Why can’t I just be? In a garden with chirping birds and a beautiful book in my hand, the sun lighting up my eyes and preferably my head in somebody’s lap? Is it too much to ask for? ugh.

[paradoxmist]

The world is so big so so big. You can get through everything. Everything.

The world is so much bigger than these small problems. So much out there to explore

You have trees, birds, flowers, the whole animal kingdom. There’s water, deserts, air. The whole damn sky. The stars the moon and the clouds. The sun. The whole universe. The galaxies and planets. So so much. You’re here for such a small amount of time. Don’t you think you deserve to live each day to the best. Trying to be someone, trying to be the best. It’s all pointless to some extent. I feel like I’m this small tiny being in this vast vast place we call home.

You’re lonely? You have a billion people in the world. All out there for you. You have the nature. You have books. You have art. You’re never alone. How did you even think you’re alone baby? With so much around you? All you have to do is look. Look towards the sky. It makes everything okay. I promise. You will get through it all. Everything. It’s all insignificant and you’re gonna make it through.

You’re here to enjoy. To be happy. To experience. Do that. Do what you feel like. Trust the universe. There’s so so much. Don’t try to be anyone else. Pls don’t lock yourself up in your room. Go out. Go look at the sky. Go look at the trees. They’re your friends. They’re your mates. They’re gonna listen to you. They will advise you. They will be there for you. Always. Through thick and thin. Through the worst of it all.

Hold on.

[paradoxmist]

half of adulting is basically you trying not to cry

[paradoxmist]

Indian academia

Recently I have seen a lot of excellent posts in the dark academia tags which call out the euro-centrism of this subculture and also give great recommendations for non-white cultural academia. So I decided to put together works of Indian authors that I read growing up in India as a literature student. Please note this list leans heavily towards works centred on Bengal due to my own heritage, and is by no means comprehensive or meant to represent the entire, varied diaspora of India.

Historical/political fiction:

the lives of others by neel mukherjee: chronicling the rise and fall of a bengali family against historical events like the partition, the 1943 famines, the bengal emergency etc. diverse cast of characters retelling history through multiple povs, lyrical prose, incredible research providing an insight into naxalite bengal. talks about how it feels to be a leftist when you are born and brought up in bourgeois privilege.

the lowland by jhumpa lahiri: everything!! written by jhumpa lahiri!! should be savoured!! but this gorgeous book in particular made me UGLY CRY. to summarise without spoilers, it's a story about two brothers, separated by inches and then by miles, a story about student revolutionaries, bengal burning and boston beaches, and it's a story about a beautiful, brilliant, tormented woman who loves and loathes in equal measure.

the shadow lines by amitav ghosh:** intergenerational trauma, dhaka riots and the entwined histories of two families- one in london and the other in calcutta. sharp, bittersweet and sometimes rather scandalous. if you enjoy ggm's works try this.

a flight of pigeons by ruskin bond**: after her father is killed in the 1857 sepoy mutiny, an anglo-indian girl, her mother, and female relatives are given shelter by the muslim family of one of the chief rebels. set in north india near UP, ruskin bond's writing is powerful and explores found families and the price of imperialism and war. chef's kiss.

train to pakistan by khuswant singh: the horrors of post independence sectarian violence as recounted by a fictional village on the indo-pak border with a population largely comprising muslims and sikhs. a harrowing read but evocative and honest.

shalimar the clown by salman rushdie: allegorical story about the kashmir valley unrest, told through the insane, shakespearean revenge tragedy spun out by kashmiri tightrope walker shalimar who falls in love with boonyi, a beautiful pandit girl, a love that dooms him.

a fine balance by rohinton mistry**: four strangers' lives spill into each other as india crumbles under the 1975 emergency. this one has everything political commentary, social satire, depiction of economic hardships and a whole range of characters from diverse backgrounds. side note: it's a pretty heavy and tragic read, please be careful.

Societal stories

the guide by rk narayan: raju, an impoverished, street smart boy in a fictional south indian town takes to conning people as a tour guide but things spiral out of control when he has an affair with a married classical dancer. allegorical writing, funny and eccentric, and there's a LOT of satire about desi stereotypes: fraud religious leaders, scandalous village affairs, neocolonial mindsets and well, dancing. had a great read of this one. don't watch the film, it's inaacurate and the author himself didn't like it :(

malgudi days by rk narayan: set in the same town as the guide, a collection of short stories about the colourful lives of small town dwellers, from astrologers to doctors to postmen. it's funny and poignant in equal measure. there's not a single mediocre story in here, they're all just......charming.

interpreter of maladies by jhumpa lahiri: stories set in boston and bengal about ordinary indian people and ordinary indian lives which are just so, so MASTERFULLY written and in such crystal bright detail it feels all too real. I recommend a temporary matter, when mr pirzada came to dine, sexy, mrs sen and this blessed house.

em and the big hoom by jerry pinto**: a goan family in late 20th century mumbai + their experience when the mother is diagnosed with bpd. I haven't read this book but it was highly recommended by my friends + authors who are greatly esteemed by me

any and every work by ruskin bond because my man literally GREW up around ayahs and tonga drivers and lonely gardeners and sad kite-makers and friends in small places. I recommend road to the bazaar: a collection of short stories about north indian children involving tigers in train tunnels, beetle races, rooftop gardens and the feeling of being home again.

the white tiger by aravind adiga**: epistolary novel that deals mostly with the class struggle in india as told by a village boy, who travels to delhi for work and his slow rise to success through monumental obstacles. a good read to look into the lives and the plight of underprivileged workers and the persisting class disparity in globalised india.

city of djinns by william dalrymple: travelogue/memoir/anecdotes of the author's time in delhi as he researches for the detritus of history in the country capital. non fiction but every bit as riveting as a well spun story.

Retellings/Biographies

rajkahini (transl: stories of kings) by abanindranath tagore: stories about the rajput rulers of western india and their glorious, semi-mythological histories of battles and heartbreaks and visions. the author was often termed a lyrical artist because his descriptive prose is so good it feels like a painting put into words.

empress: the astonishing reign of nur jahan by ruby lal: a feminist biography of my favourite figure from history, nur jahan, and her deliciously satisfying ascent as the sole female sovereign in the line of the great mughals. but wow, what a woman.

the palace of illusions by chitra banerjee divakaruni: retelling of the great epic mahabharata but from draupadi's point of view. poetic and magical, and her descriptions of female rage and the unfairness of society even in mythical canon is SUPERB.

Poetry!

sarojini naidu: patriotism, society, feminism, romance

nissim ezekiel: postcolonial, satire

ak ramanujan: society, classical retellings, folktale inspired poetry

agha shahid ali: socio-political, ghazal inspired poetry

tishani doshi: feminist, contemporary

eunice d'souza: contemporary, gender politics

Pure self indulgent recs

hayavadana by girish karnad: a ridiculous, criminally hilarious play-within-a-play about a love triangle and accidental body/torso swaps and a goddess who couldn't care less and a man with a horse head. yeah.

devdas by sarat chandra chattopadhyay: pls stop shoving the movie down my throat it's the cringiest depiction of bengali culture ever but yeah the novel is 💗💗 and it's about childhood sweethearts dev and paro, the cost of obsessions and lusts and an enigmatic courtesan chandramukhi who keeps loving the wrong things.

any and every work by rabindranath tagore should be considered academia but in particular his short stories, like the kabuliwalah and the postmaster.

the byomkesh bakshi series by sharadindu bandyopadhyay: written in the vein of poirot but in colonial bengal, follows one (1) sleuthy boy and his sidekick as they unravel psychological crimes and murder mysteries. some stories are just genuinely scary and all have eclectic casts. sharadindu said homoerotic/feral women/immoral genius people rights!

Like I said this list is not comprehensive!!! But I tried my best!!! I think we should really try to decolonize our reading tastes. And yes I purposely left out Arundhati Roy (because she is literally the only Indian author ever recommended in lists) Vikram Seth (because I do not like him) and Roshani Chokshi (because any one of the above)

I hope you guys get some good picks from this list :)

[** has heavy trigger warnings]

[paradoxmist]

[paradoxmist]

Good news: if you’re currently laying around and not producing anything, you are a credit to your species.

[paradoxmist]

I think, therefore I am (exhausted)

[paradoxmist]

Kaamkaaji kaamdaar Insaan // appreciation post

[paradoxmist]

gay, straight, whatever. we all want someone to take us to the aquarium.

[paradoxmist]

“It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you.”

— Roald Dahl

[paradoxmist]

I don't know who will win today , my immense self hatred VS my delusional god complex ?