paralulzy - Tumblr blog

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Guy who has no idea how many fingers he has voice: oh easy I'll just count them on my. Hm.

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

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Had a dream last night that I bought tickets to see Dimension 20 perform live. I spend the majority of the dream trying to get there, dealing with stupid silly dream things like driving my car, which for some reason is an eighteen-wheeler, a petty thief, and a dog that tries to eat my arm. I finally get to the theatre. The show starts. The Intrepid Heroes and Brennan come on stage. I'm so excited. Two minutes into the show, there's a weird magician's stunt with a poof of smoke. The stage is gone. The show is over? The D20 members are all confused. Someone says, "check the TV!" We do. Sam Reich is on TV, introducing an episode of Game Changer, saying the entire D20 live show was a ruse, that the whole point was to get them to New York for this week's new game: a rat race where the first person who gets back to the studio in LA wins Game Changer. The catch? Their bank accounts have all been frozen. Brennan is pissed. Lou immediately starts running. Zac sits in the audience with the fans, clearly not in a rush. Emily, Murph, and Siobhan seem only mildly inconvenienced and walk out together, trash-talking Sam.

I woke up after that, and I'm disappointed I'll never know who won.

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Delightfully transgender weekend

Took estrogen for the first time

Watched I saw the tv glow

Fuck guys I'm so happy

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A little late to the party but after seeing so many Mikus in other cultures decided to do one from my own and well I’m from Pittsburgh and let me tell you our culture is road rage

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kind of obsessed with this comment from the aoteaora nz subreddit….

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Chumbawamba is so insanely based.

For their full beautiful story I highly recommend Margaret Killjoy's podcast "Cool People Who Did Cool Stuff." She covers their exploits very well.

Some of my personal favorite Chumbawamba moments:

They built a snowman over a concrete bollard while on a picket line. Cops tried to knock over the snowman with a car. It did not go well

When they first started living together, they had all agreed on pacifism at all times. They then got their asses kicked by some nazis at a show. They realized "oh so pacifism is bullshit" and brought baseball bats to their next one.

When they were first starting out, they hitchhiked to Paris and squatted in the stadium. The stadium was not abandoned. They just broke in every night and broke out every morning.

Again early in their career, they would randomly show up to cafes with their instruments and start playing. They'd get booed, kicked out, arrested, whatever. They just kept doing it.

They all moved into a house together, installed a printing press, and started distributing anarchist pamphlets.

Some 15 year old punks ran away from home and asked to stay with Chumbawamba at their house. They tracked down the kids' parents and were like "hey your kids ran away because you suck. Don't worry about them, we're gonna take care of them" and then they did exactly that. The kids wound up joining the band later in life.

Some time ago, some right-wing "punks" wanted to put together a compilation album. Chumbawamba created a fake band called Skin Disease and managed to get onto the album. Their song is called "I'm Thick" and the lyrics are just the words "I'm thick" like 40 times.

They wrote a book that includes details of a lot of their exploits, but it's framed in a very funny way. They describe everything as "yeah we had a show in Bristol and, idk man, there just happened to be an anarchist riot down the street at the exact same time. Weird coincidence. And then, wouldn't you know it, the exact same thing happened at the next 30 shows we played"

They got arrested because *someone* set off a bomb to protest apartheid (nobody got hurt). They found out the name of the arresting officer and put his name on all of their electric bills. Until they figured out a way to stop paying for electricity.

They once played a show with Smashing Pumpkins. Allegedly, the SP guys were so obnoxious and egotistical that Chumbawamba collectively decided "well fuck this" and sent Dan (who just happens to love streaking) naked on-stage in the middle of SP's final song. He salutes the audience, and then calmly walks off.

Chumbawamba based moments.

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Was just excitedly telling my roommate about Knull being in Venom 3 and he had no clue who I was talking about

I told him Knull was the god of the symbiotes and also was the creator of Gorr the God Butcher's sword.

At that point, my roommate said "Oh! You mean Knull!"

Turns out my weird fucked-up Pittsburgh accent made it sound like I was saying "Gnoll"

Unfathomably embarrassed

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Cant stop thinking about this comment under a video about stardew valley rabbits foot drops

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magical girl but the person you become when you transform is not you. it is something else. and the line between you and your magical form is drawing ever closer and yet so far away

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This wonderful fan account on instagram Imane_Khalif_10 has been translating interviews and this is the funniest one so far (go to her page to see the actual vid):

Imane Khelif, patron goddess of punching the shit out of bullies

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nothing better than the wrong capitalization of Sie

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I love my friends this is literally us

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“thrift stores in my area don’t sell punk/goth clothes” YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT PUNK/GOTH YOURSELF. GET OUT OF THE MINDSET THAT ALT FASHION IS JUST PRE-MADE WAITING FOR YOU ON A SHELF. BUY THAT “WORLD’S BEST GRANDMA” SHIRT AND CUT IT UP FOR PATCHES AT LEAST!! MAKE IT YOUR OWN!!!!!! FUCK

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Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

How to clean dishes by hand

How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)

How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)

How to mop the floor

How to sweep the floor

How to swallow pills

How to make small talk

How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

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why haven’t I seen anyone posting about that giant fucking baby penguin in Melbourne that’s bigger than some of the adults already