parasitickid

[parasitickid]

Its so stupid what sticks with you negatively. I'm afraid to make transmasc headcanons and even doing so feels hollow and pointless because one post made by a trans radfem making asinine posts about how transmen hcing jesse pinkman as transmasc means they've somehow never met a transwomen and obviously don't care about them.

I'm worried my desire to connect my lived experiences with those of fictional characters to find joy and comfort is pointless and empty. That there's no real reason to even do it in the first place if its just going to be ridiculed or scrutinized

Makes me feel like I'm hollow and pointless, like there's no real reason for me to exist like this. That I've chosen to be like this and I've chosen wrong and in my choice I am clearly showing disregard for others and hurting them in the process

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how did we go from "someones genitals are none of your business and do not define them or their experiences" to "the gender you are assigned at birth is the end all be all of your experiences and determines how privileged you are"

[parasitickid]

Thought: “If I think about this moral dilemma enough I will find the right and correct answer objectively”

Reality:

[parasitickid]

Anyone else feel just a tad frustrated of being told to join and partake in community when a major symptom of a personality defining disorder is that of social and interpersonal rejection?

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“why are you tired? you haven’t done anything all day” the simple fact that i exist drains me. hope this helps

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ocd is fucking ridiculous wdym I feel the need to earn my right to feel my own emotions

[parasitickid]

the way my dad talks about the intellectually disabled makes me feel like he's buried his head in the sand and is pretending it isnt a problem about my own disabilities. that or he actually thinks very little of me

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"slut era" i say as i rot and decay in my bedroom and watch the years pass me by as i miss out on core experiences other people my age are having while i think about the past

[parasitickid]

scrupulosity and an OCD obsession with morality is so much more than just wanting to be a good person.

yes, I want to be a good person. but for me, that comes along with:

an unreachably high moral standard

an unshakeable guilt complex

a chronic feeling of “what have I done wrong?”

constant flashbacks to “shame memories”

tying myself up in knots over making the right decision (even over the little things)

and sometimes… this obsession with being a good person actually prevents me from being as good a person as I would be otherwise (e.g it can make me come across as selfish and not compassionate)

[parasitickid]

how it feels to be online these days

[parasitickid]

my therapist: “you need to unlearn the belief that failing to completely explain every statement you make will cause people to misinterpret and hate you. that’s generally not how people think, and it’s just your OCD talking.”

tumblr when you word a post slightly vaguely/poorly:

[parasitickid]

moral scrupulosity ocd affirmations compilation

[parasitickid]

"drauma dumping isnt real" guys it was a Meme on this webbed site for a while that we all had to talk down our friends from intense mental health episodes as teenagers, a nonzero percentage of you guys had to talk others out of suicidal episodes as youths. do you not remember what it felt like to have someone constantly inundate you with their failing mental health with the expectation youd fix it, or at the very least manage it?