pare-apexart

[pare-apexart]

8th Day in NYC 8:52 pm

This morning had a Zoom meeting with the artist involved in the project. He's a Filipino artist who grew up in New York and now lives in Tbilisi. He's a talented painter and talked about the difficulties life there, which seemed more challenging than me. Complained about the busy schedule, similar to ours. Anyway, not much special activities left. Ended early today, so hurried back to the apartment to finish up pending work.

Worked on pending tasks in the late afternoon. Regretted not going out on such a beautiful sunny day. I went to listen to a Tibetan protest against China for a while. Bought a lipstick. Walked around and think about life when I came back to Chiang Mai, at Stand Bookstore. Bought an old book cheaper than the lipstick but still stressed. Kept walking straight without knowing where I was going, just wanted to walk. Found a pizza place, felt hungry, so stopped to buy two slices. The owner was very nice and energetic, an enthusiastic Italian. I asked to take his picture and told him I have a friend who is also Italian. He went on a rant about Americans discriminating against nationalities. He told me “I'm American too. These people think they're the smartest. Annoying.” Walked to a nearby park, ate pizza, lots of people with friends. I'm satisfied. Back home, missing my cat.

[pare-apexart]

7th Day in NYC 10:52 pm

Today was much better.

Visited Gracie Mansion, an 1800s-era house. The tour guide was knowledgeable about furniture design very much, and although the content was okay, the walk there was beautiful. The sun was out, and the view on the way back was lovely.

The highlight of the day was being in the audience for the show Gutfeld!

Had a cultural shock in schedule, wasn't much specified to do just send a booking and location. I went to the Fox News and joined the line, checked in, and then sat there. The people in line were excited (some of them were very handsome). The guy in front of me was watching the show on his phone. He was tapping his feet the whole time. The guy wearing a hat in front of me seemed to have been there many times. He knew the cue to say "Alright! Alright!" and smoothly interacted with the guests.

It turned out to be a late-night talk show analyzing the news, heavily biased towards Trump supporters. The audience cheered for anything the host said, even if it was offensive towards women. I just sat there quietly throughout the show.

P.S. If anyone watches this show on Fox on March 11, at the end when they close the show, you might see me pop up for a bit.

[pare-apexart]

6th Day in NYC 9:53 pm

Today, I fell ill.

Woke up early with symptoms of fever and feeling unwell. Went through activities with discomfort amidst the biting cold. Stopped by to eat at Central Park and noticed some small trees recovering from the snow, which brought a little joy. At Central Park, it smells strongly of urine, more than any subway station I've been to.

Listening to jazz music wasn't enjoyable at all, felt like my body needed medicine and rest. Today was really bad, felt like my schedule was so tight, that I could’t breathe. Frustrated, disappointed with myself.

[pare-apexart]

5th Day in NYC 1:32 am

This morning, went to Fort Greene Park. It was the morning after a light snowfall, very cold and windy. There were many hills. I hiding behind trees when the wind blew strongly. The wind kept getting stronger, and suddenly I felt very lonely. The sky was gray. Some people came as couples, some with their dogs, and families brought their children to play. It made me want to cry.

Joining a discussion group is always depressing, when I tiring to listen and talk to the same person for a long time.

In the evening, attended the closing event of an exhibition. Was late, took the wrong turn. Life changes. Hurrying and getting lost again!!!!! The exhibition was great, I liked the title, "Build what we hate. Destroy what we love." On the way back, the wind was strong, it was raining, and people were out in the bar on a Saturday night. Umbrellas were broken. Walked back home in the rain, wind blowing, umbrella flipped. Didn't expect the funny coincidence of watching cartoons as a kid to happen to me now. At somewhere on Walker St, an Asia skin head woman fought with her own umbrella.

[pare-apexart]

4th Day in NYC 10:45 pm

Today, the sun came out for the first time since I arrived. Went to Brooklyn Bridge Park, it's beautiful. It's the first time I've walked in such a relaxing park since arriving, as it has been raining continuously. Many people brought their dogs to walk. I feel lonely. I bought some groceries at the supermarket and then headed back to the apartment. Passed the midday leisurely.

When I arrived, I joined the line to Jazz Concert and a gentleman in front of me turned around and told me to reserve his spot for a moment. He went to ask the someone. When the gentleman came back, he asked me, “You have a performer face, are you a performer?. We talked about various things. He said he was a writer, a director, and many other things. He asked about ideas for the next project, so I shared what I had thought of this morning. He liked it and then shared stories about his ex-wife, which made me think of words to use in the project. Then, we exchanged emails.

The concert was great, it was a Jam Session by jazz musicians from The School of Jazz and Contemporary Music, open for outsiders to join in. The atmosphere was lovely. The event organizer (probably a teacher) had a list of people who would take turns playing different roles. The main instruments were piano, drums, cello, and vocals.

When the students performed in front of the audience, they seemed a bit nervous, but everyone was talented. After finishing one song, they changed bands. The teachers came up to the stage and pointed out, taking over the stage. It was a fresh new band, without any rehearsal, and they did an amazing job. When they walked up, they greeted each other, talked a little, and then started. In the show, I could see the space in the songs allocated for each person to play. They played and exchanged energy. Then, two senior students (I guessed based on the rustiness of the teachers) came up. They were amazing! They took the mic and greeted the younger ones and then played. One sang while the other played the piano. They didn't play much, but every part was sharp. The little sister who played the trumpet next to them seemed shy at first, but as the show went on, she became more confident. She couldn't stop smiling, so cool!

[pare-apexart]

3rd Day in NYC 9:37 pm.

Today, feeling feverish, so I requested Nia to skip the morning activities and join in the afternoon instead. And today, I didn't get lost. Discovered that one difficulty of using the subway for me is finding the right entran. It's confusing once we're down there.

Today went to watch classical music near Broadway. There were four musicians playing songs by various composers. Initially, I intended to close my eyes and listen, but everyone's performance was very interesting. There were moods intertwined with various movements. I liked how they provided rhythm with their breathing sounds. Even though I was sitting in the back row, I could still hear.

On the way back, kept walking to find the exit. Found one, but Google Maps said to keep walking. Okay, I trusted it. After a while, smelled something familiar. There were more exits ahead, haha. I'm becoming more like a dog every day. The weather improved a lot today, no need to walk in the rain anymore. But the wind was strong, cold, and it was the first day I returned to the apartment late.

[pare-apexart]

2nd Day in NYC 20.10 pm.

Last night, I still couldn't sleep. It's probably less than 2 hours. Around 12 am., I felt very sleepy. My brain still remembers the time to sleep in Chiang Mai.

Starting to get used to the smell of the Subway. Started to recognize the smell at the station near the apartment. Wait, am I becoming a dog? I lost again, very far. There's a train with the same name. At first, I think it the same way, but there's one that will turn off to another place, which is very far. I hesitated for a while, then ended up at the station where I was supposed to arrive. And it's raining heavily today. Went to the appointment on time. Sorry, Nia had to reschedule the appointment with the therapist. Met for the second time with the psychiatrist. Felt good mixed with pressure to share personal stories, feelings, and with someone I just met for the first time, and in English. My brain is still blurry and tired from running in the rain to make it on time, so it didn't go as well as I hoped. But I think it'll be better next time. Worries about traveling are more than enough to think about myself. Don't want Nia to worry about me.

[pare-apexart]

1st Day in NYC 9.30 pm.

I understand the feeling of exhaustion to the point of completely losing energy.

5 hours from Bangkok to Tokyo, 4 hours in boarding pass at Haneda Airport, 12 hours to New York. Total 21 hours of travel.

The apartment is very comfortable. The view from the 15th floor overlooks the city from afar. The amenities are convenient - kitchen, laundry room, fitness center, and the familiar traces of past guests who have stayed here.

Slept for one hour, the most comfortable sleep in the past week. Before get back to the room I had a chat with Steven, Director of Apexart NYC. I liked what he said: If you want to escape from the society you used to be in, this place will help you. But it's about finding new perspectives in the people you’ll meet again. Let's see what's next...