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being heartless is more fun than being nice tbh
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My landlord rang as I was in the gym to say there was some minor renovation being done in my house so just to be careful
Minor

renovation

I had to climb through that to get to the kitchen. Cheers
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holy shit
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
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Conversation
5th grade me: I'll never do drugs
Me now: Bruh
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omg
son we need to talk. about your report card. son did you know your grades spell “ACDC” here is a high five and your bedtime is never
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who needs april fools my entire life is a joke
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