partyluvr

[partyluvr]

guys ive been texting my sneaky link again and we’ve been having naughty phone calls and hes so good at talking me thru it SHOULD I write a smut about it hmmmmmm

[partyluvr]

ok so i'm going to need like 1000 more fics from you? your writing is sublime 😍

aaah tysm! 🥺🥺

[partyluvr]

Read more cut please

im sorry im so stupid what does this mean

[partyluvr]

AFTER HOURS, johnny suh

two co-workers who found the right momentum to finally hook up.

coworker!johnnyxfem!reader

status: oneshot, finished.

warning! 18+ smut!! ayeee smut asf we be fucking FRR

꩜ .ᐟ playlist

ginuwine - none of ur friend’s business

concepcion - HITMYLINE

JEY - +82

saint ivory - do you love me?

eyedress - my girl the finest

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

drinking with your co worker is probably not how you would want to spend your friday night, but drinking with your hot co worker? now that is up for consideration.

johnny has always had his eyes on you, and so do you. you both know it. the attraction is there, the tension is there, but there is also a line that the both of you are too much of a professional to cross. this particular night, however, might be an exception.

after a long and hard month of overtimes and extra work during a tiring project for the company you work for—getting drunk on a friday night almost seems obligatory at this point. being in the same marketing division, you and johnny work in the same team together, and though you’ve worked together before, this time in particular feels different. maybe it’s the amount of nights you’ve spend together at the office after most of everyone had gone home. sometimes it would be you, johnny and your head of marketing staying at the office til two in the morning. sometimes it would be you, johnny, your supervisor, and your other co worker. sometimes it would be you, johnny, and three other co workers. but sometimes there would be one or two nights where it would just be you and johnny. there’s always a very obvious sexual tension between the two of you, and both you and johnny knows that the each of you are aware of it. you’re just glad that johnny is a gentleman who clearly understands that even a sexual tension this hard cannot be pursued in the workplace. the two of you are always going to work together, and you’re glad johnny understand that even a slight change in your dynamic would ruin the team. but maybe there’s a part of you that thinks that johnny is too much of a gentleman.

so when the two of you are sitting at a bar, drinks in hand, maybe there’s a part of you that contemplates crossing the line of your professional boundaries.

johnny looks beautiful. his shirt is rolled at the sleeve so his forearms are free for you to stare. his tie is now loosened, one button of his shirt undone, and his hair is slightly messy. his eyes look pretty under the bar’s dim lights but even then you can see the tiredness in them. his cheeks are slightly flushed from drinking, though you’re almost sure he’s not a lightweight, johnny can chug a beer like nobody’s business but maybe the peachy blush decorating his cheeks are from his asian genes.

“do you smoke?” you ask out of the blue. perhaps it was just a way to start a conversation with him. god knows you can only stare at him for too long before you start.. imagining things.

turning his head towards you, he responded. “only socially. i don’t like the taste of cigarettes that much.” he scrunched his nose. “how about you?”

“yeah, me too, actually. i was in high school when i first tried it. i’m pretty sure i just wanted to seem cool.”

johnny chuckled and took another sip of his drink. “first year of college, for me. i tried alcohol for the first time that year, too.”

“you’ve never drank before college?” you asked in disbelief.

chuckling, he shook his head. “i was a homebody all through my school years. never really wanted to do anything wild.”

“oh, wow.”

you never pictured johnny as a homebody. you have your own perception of him having known him in his adult years. you always pictured him as this outgoing and charming guy, somehow you force that imagery onto his younger years.

“do you drink a lot now?” you shot another question.

johnny hummed before answering. “i think so. i don’t get drunk that easily, though.”

“what’s your favorite drink?”

the charming man chuckled. “you’re full of questions tonight.”

“sorry,” you smiled, playing it off. “alcohol makes me yap.”

you were not sure it was because the alcohol or because you have never been alone with johnny outside of work vicinity. you have never been alone with where the two of you weren’t working. it doesn’t feel awkward because johnny doesn’t make it so, but you feel an obligation to fill the silence every now and then. maybe it’s the alcohol. maybe you’re just nervous.

“you’re okay.” he smiled. “my favorite drink is beer. i’m not really picky but i like a good beer.”

you smiled and rolled your eyes playfully. “you’re such a man.”

acknowledging your humor, he played along acting defensive. “hey, what’s that supposed mean?”

you laughed, taking a sip of your drink and putting it down, your fingertip caressing the rim of the glass. you let the silence linger for a while. this is nice. johnny is nice. maybe you’re glad everyone else in your team was busy after work to come to the bar tonight. maybe you’re glad you and johnny are the only available one this friday night.

“you know, i’ve been meaning to ask.” he broke the silence this time. putting his glass down before turning his body to face you. “since we’re doing a q&a, i mean.”

you couldn’t miss the hint of playfulness laced in his tone. “go ahead.”

“what are you doing in this company?”

that took you by surprise. “what do you mean?”

his eyes lingered on you for a second before shrugging slightly. “you’re too good to be stuck at a company that barely gives you any raise.”

“i wouldn’t say stuck.” you argued.

“we wouldn’t scored this good in this project hadn’t it been for you, and what do they give you? a ten percent raise and a week paid vacation.”

“you’re not gonna hear me complain about a ten percent raise—”

“the vacation expires next month.”

feeling slightly defeated, you chuckled. “it’s not so bad.”

“if it’s up to me, you deserve a promotion for all the work you’ve been doing for our team alone.”

it’s your turn to shrug. “i dont know, i guess i have been here a while to deserve a proper raise or a promotion.”

johnny raised his eyebrows and nodded in agreement, but he waited to make a comment.

“the thing is, i don’t feel unappreciated. i have a good team, everyone has been nothing but kind to me. it’s nice to have that, you know? not everyone can have what i have here.”

you can feel his gaze burn into you, as if he’s digesting your words carefully. it feels nerve wrecking being under his stare.

“i’ve had crappy jobs before,” you continued. “this isn’t anywhere near bad. i get paid really well, i get bonuses and incentive here and there, i like my job—i’m good at it, my peers think and talk highly of me. that’s more than enough for anyone.”

johnny, ever so beautifully, still lets his stare lingering on you. he’s even more good looking up close. even the dim lights at the bar couldn’t hide how pretty he is.

“i’m really satisfied and comfortable with what i have right now. i don’t want to gamble it or take it for granted.” you smiled, ending your tiny tangents.

instinctively, the pretty man in front of you returned your gesture with a warm smile. he looks satisfied with your answer, and you feel good about it.

taking the last sip of his drink, he nodded. “that was a really good answer.”

“why thank you, sir.”

his gaze is on you again. a smile hanging on his lips. you can feel him studying you for a moment. not too long, but enough for you to notice how brown his eyes are.

you can see him parting his lips before he stopped himself to say whatever he was about to say. instead, he smiled and nodded before softly saying, “that was a great answer.”

a smile on your lips. “thank you, johnny.”

it almost seems like that pretty, warm smile never leave his charming face. you’re almost annoyed. how dare someone looks this good after office hours?

scrunching his nose, he straightened his posture and after what felt like an eternity, his gaze finally left you for a bit.

“i’m just saying, though,” he began, the playfulness in his voice is apparent once again. “i can definitely picture you as an independent creative director.”

you groaned. “that’s such an LA job. independent creative director, my god, i might as well be a spiritual guru.”

he laughed and it feels like you just witness a male peacock spreading it’s tails.

“i can say the same thing about you, you know,” you continued, his laugh fading but the smile persisted. “i can see you starting your own company, or a startup agency.”

leaning forward you, he rested his chin on his hand before replying. “yeah?”

“yeah,” you mimicked his gesture, leaning forward to his form.

“how come?”

“you have more experience than taeyong and i’s combined, you have a master’s degree, you’ve worked here long enough, you’re great at networking.” you listed. “you’re too good to be stuck in a company that’s too much of a pussy to promote you to management.”

he nodded. “that’s true.”

you leaned back with raised eyebrows, as if to tell him ‘see?’.

“but you’re also right, you know, i wouldn’t say stuck.”

smiling, you nodded signaling him to go on.

“i moved a lot when i was growing up. i was born in chicago, my family moved us back to korea and i did a few of my school years there, then i moved back to chicago for college,” he listed. “and now i’m here.”

you listened to him intently, not even realizing your eyes have been darting between his eyes and lips. thinking that if you switch between one or the other fast enough he wouldn’t notice how fixedly you’re staring.

“all my life i’ve always crave for some kind of stability. moving places means i have to adapt a lot and it gets really tiring.” he continued. “this job is stable. the money is good and stable, the environment is stable, the people come and go but the workflow is stable.”

you made no comment, just giving him the room to keep sounding his thoughts.

“sometimes i do think about how our ceo is only five years older than me, and sometimes it does make me think about how maybe i should do.. more. but i think you’re right, where i am right now is comfortable enough for me.”

you finally stopped staring at his lips, fixating your eyes back to his before your mouth instinctively broke into a smile. “you get it.”

he let out a laugh. “yeah, younger johnny would’ve killed to have some kind of stability and i don’t think it’s fair to take it for granted now that i finally have it.”

the bar was not too packed for a friday night. maybe a few people coming and going, the bartender spilling a tiny portion of someone’s drink, the live music was playing some sort of pop-jazz moment and honestly neither you nor johnny was paying any mind to it. tonight, you have stared at johnny longer than you ever had in the last year. had you never really spend some alone time with him? had it been for the lack of trying? or had it been for your fear that you can no longer keep this professional façade if you get close enough to him?

whatever the case, the night is fairly young and your eyes may have posses some kind of magnetic field that are drawn into johnny’s.

“guess we’re staying at that company?” you tried to be wistful, but failed to hold in a smile.

the man in front of you smiled in a way no one has ever done so more beautifully. “you’ll be there so it won’t be all that bad.”

you raised your glass just a little above your nose. “to us?”

“to us.” he mimicked your gesture, toasting your glass together before gulping whatever was left in his.

you were almost sure the pianist on stage is playing a pathetic excuse of an attempt of city of stars from the movie lalaland. it was a nice background music—pathetic, but better than pure silence.

the gentleman sitting beside you at this average bar is more than enough to make you tolerate anything.

his soft voice broke you out of your trance. “hey, come back to me.”

“sorry?”

he chuckled. “you were gone for a while there, where did you go?”

blinking hard, you replied apologetically. “i’m sorry, i do that a lot—zoning out, i mean.”

“you’re okay.”

he says that a lot. instead of saying the normal it’s okay, or that’s okay, he says you’re okay. and it means something, doesn’t it? it has to. it makes you feel like you’re okay. it, or that, or whatever the case is might not be okay, but you are. you’re okay. johnny says you’re okay so you have to be.

you wouldn’t being pulled out of your trance by his velvet voice if it means to have him talking to you.

“are you seeing anyone?” he asked, with such confidence you almost mistook it for an accusation.

“no,” you shook your head, pausing. “you?”

“no.” he said it as if it was a reassurance of some kind.

it was silence again for a bit. a bartender is cleaning up someone’s spilled cocktail on the floor. the pianist is still going at it.

“so,” you trailed. “what the hell, huh?”

( … )

johnny’s hot mouth was already on yours millisecond after he opened the door to his apartment. it was to anyone’s surprise that the both of you survived the car ride back to his place without at least doing hand stuffs or running red lights. you kept your hand on your lap the entire ride and you fought with everything in you to not glance to your side. you knew the moment you look at his state of driving you’d unbutton his pants right then and there.

johnny’s apartment was nice. neat, clean, minimalist but still has enough of his personality. that’s all you can conclude from taking a peak in between kissing him. it was hard to focus on anything else besides his lips, or the way his hands feel on your body, or the way you can feel him smile against your lips. he’s everywhere, but still not where you want him.

he laid you on his bed. huge mattress with soft pillows that’d give you the best sleep of your life, but with a handsome man shoving his tongue down your throat sleep should be the least of your worries.

“come back to me, sweetheart.”

you blinked. you reckoned it was the first thing he said the entire time you entered his apartment.

“i’m sorry.”

smiling, his lips found yours instantly. you grabbed a handful of his hair, not pulling it hard but grabbing it firmly enough to let him know how easy he has you.

“you’re not too drunk, yeah?” he checked in such a gentle tone.

you shook your head. “i’m okay.”

“of course you are, doll.” a cheeky smile before his mouth molds perfectly in yours.

his hands seemed to not want to be less busy than his mouth, already traveling from your neck down to your chest, massaging your breast through your work blouse. he worked his fingers through your buttons, the cold air hitting your chest.

“is this okay?” he asked against your lips. his strong arm carefully sneaked behind your figure from under your shirt, lifting your torso like it weighed nothing, his palm wanders around feeling for the clasp of your bra.

you nodded, having the air knocked out of you from how surreal it is to finally have him so close.

his lips pressed against yours hard one last time before traveling down to your neck. his warm tongue grazed your skin, sending shivers all over your body. he sucked and licked and you could do was grab a handful of his hair, squirming under his bigger figure.

his pulled his head from your neck, satisfied with the many reddish bruises he painted. he continued his way down your collarbones, leaving trail of kisses while all you could do is writhe and mewl under his touch. you could feel yourself getting wetter by the second and it’s embarrassing how you kept pushing your legs together, trying to get any friction to make yourself feel good.

unclasping your bra, johnny ducked his face in between your breast. his hand is quick enough to massage your mount, fingers skillfully playing and pinching your hardened buds. peppering sloppy kisses on your chest, he moved towards your nipple, circling his tongue before teething the bud. his other hand was making sure your other nipple wasn’t missing out on the fun.

“johnny,” you moaned, pulling his hair hard enough for him to release your nipple from his mouth before quickly latching onto it again.

you can feel him teasingly hummed against your skin, the vibration sent a tingly sensation straight to your core.

satisfied with the amount of damages he had done to your sensitive nerves and bundles in your chest, he moved downwards to your belly, warm tongue licking you down and hot mouth leaving a trail of kisses as he makes his way down. he took off your pants in a swift, teeth playing with the hem of your underwear before pulling it down and tossing it somewhere in the room. you were too hazy to realize he was close to your heated core.

“wait,” you protested once you realized his face was in front of your leaking cunt.

half lidded johnny looked up to you. you couldn’t even believe how good he looks. “what’s wrong?”

“you don’t have to.” you tried to sit up, resting your body weight on one elbow while your other hand gently pushes his face further away from between your legs.

“i know,” he chuckled, kissing the inner of your thigh. “but i want to.”

“no, please.” you argued.

he furrowed his eyebrows, straightening his posture so he can cup your face in his big palm. “hey, are you okay?” you can sense his concern.

flustered, you replied. “i’m okay, it’s just— i’m not gonna give you head so you don’t have to go down on me.”

the man furrowed his eyebrows and smiled upon hearing your answer. “you’re so cute.” he left a chaste kiss on your lips. “you don’t have to do anything in return, sweetheart, don’t worry.”

before you know it, he’s already back in between your legs. he kiss your inner thigh one last time before diving in. his warm tongue sliding over your slick cunt as you mewl and cry out his name. hearing you so responsive fuels him even more. he found your swollen clit with ease, flicking his tongue sending shivers all over your body down to your squirming legs. he pushed his tongue inside your wet cunt, the tip of his nose now coated with your slick, your juices dripping down to his sheet. he doesn’t mind.

“fuck, johnny.” you moaned, lifting your hips to escape from him only to have him pulling you closer with ease. you can feel him chuckling against your swollen lips.

“i’m right here, baby.” he cooed, almost mockingly.

“need you, please,” you writhed some more, trying to sit up.

he hummed, engaging with your plea. “where do you need me?”

“inside of me, please,” you cry out. “need you so bad.”

granting your wish, he gave one long lick all up your folds before sitting up straight. you didn’t even realized he was still fully clothed while you’re under him, painted with bruises, naked with your own juice dripping down your thigh.

it was as if he saw your hungry eyes, he swiftly removed his work shirt. you gawked at his defined chest, his bicep looks even better without any fabric covering them. you could cum just from the sight of the god in front of you.

“kiss,” you reached out to him.

he granted your wish as he leaned down and captured your open mouth. you circled your arms around his neck, hugging him so close he can’t help but chuckle at your needy state.

you can hear him pulling off his pants, you didn’t dare open your eyes and look at his all bare. you knew you couldn’t stop yourself from cumming at the sight of him.

he pulled away first and straightened his posture to position himself better on top of you. it was when you finally look down at the glory in between his legs.

he’s huge.

“you’re so big,” you muttered in disbelief, and maybe a slight fear.

he only chuckled in response, moving his body to the side to extend his long arm and reach into his drawer. he grabbed a condom, tear the package off with his teeth before sliding it onto his erect cock.

“how is it gonna fit..” you breathed.

he chuckled once again. “it will.” he reassured.

“my insurance doesn’t cover that.”

he laughed, shaking his head before towering over you and leaning in for another kiss. “you’re so silly.”

he shut you up by pressing his lips against your open mouth before you could ever protest. he’s gentle with shoving his tongue inside your mouth, folding your tongue in his as you do nothing but moan and grab onto his neck like your life depends on it.

you can feel his cock pressing on your lower abdomen, the friction making your cunt even more heated. johnny snaked his hand lower to your folds, massaging the nerves bundle before teasing your opening with his thick fingers. he gently pressed a finger into you, before you abruptly stop by grabbing onto his hand.

“no,” you panted. “gonna cum.”

he looked at you with raised eyebrow and a warm but teasing smile. “then come,”

“no, want you to make me come.” you managed to say in between sloppily kissing him.

“i will but i have to stretch you out first.” he started to circle his finger on your clit. you mewl as your breath began to shorten, your mind hazy.

“no, please, don’t want your fingers.” you cry out in desperation. you keep writhing under him, short breaths as your chest moves up and down.

“hey, hey.” he called out to you, finally pulling his hand away from your leaking cunt. his other hand cupped your face, you instantly nuzzle into his palm while still trying to maintain your breathing. “i’ll give you what you want but you need to calm down, sweetheart.”

you pulled him by his neck and smashed your lips onto his, sloppy and all over the place. your breath still rigid and he notices that. have you really been that touch starved that you’re this horny from only him eating you out?

“breath, baby.” he cooed, pulling away from your kiss to look at your face carefully. his thumb caressed your cheek as you keep nuzzling into his touch. “come back to me, sweetheart. there you go.”

johnny pulled his form away from you, positioning himself towering over you as he put his body weight on one hand beside you. his used his other hand to align his already hard cock on your entrance. you were surprise to see him already so hard when you barely do anything to him. it’s nice to know you don’t need to do anything just to get him going. it makes you feel good about yourself.

you can feel the head of his cock entering you, stretching your slick opening. you flinched and your thighs immediately tensed.

“slowly,” you breathed, hands desperately reaching out to him. “i, uh, i haven’t had sex in a while.”

“i got you.” johnny leaned down to kiss you. in an instant, your muscle relaxed and johnny pushed himself a little bit into you.

he was maybe not even halfway in but you’re already full. you can feel him everywhere. you grabbed onto his arm, his bicep hard and strong. you feel like melting into a puddle.

“i’m gonna try and put it all in, okay?” his voice so soft it make you hazy.

you nodded, instinctively closing your eyes and try to not tense up.

the burning sensation of your pussy being stretched out was a bit much making you cry out in reflex. you can feel your walls clenching on his rock hard cock, you’ve never felt more full.

“you’re doing so good, baby.” he cooed.

he bottomed out making you whimper in pain and pleasure. the burning felt good and you’re kind of upset that he’s already all in, but you remind yourself the best is yet to come.

“you’re okay, yeah?” he looked down at you.

you nodded, eyes fluttering open.

“words, doll.”

you shakily replied. “’m okay.”

“atta girl.” he cooed. you had no idea he was this gentle and attentive. “i’m gonna move, okay?”

you nodded, pulling him into a kiss so hard your teeth collided onto his. you wouldn’t mind if your lips bleed. you just want to keep kissing him.

he thrusted into you before pulling out almost completely, slowly pushing back in. you gasp at the friction, every thrust feel like a stretch. you began whimpering against his mouth and when it gets too much, you hid your face in the crook of his neck, clinging onto his bigger figure.

“so good,” you mewled, out of breath.

“i know, baby,” he responded. he’s so close to your ear it makes you feel dizzy. “that feels good, yeah?”

“mhmm.” was all you could mutter before crying out a moan. “feels so good.”

he began to thrust faster, each thrust getting harder. every time he bottomed out your clit pressed onto his abdomen, the sensation enough to make you go insane.

his hand reached to down to your clit, flicking the sensitive bud as you squirmed and writhed more.

“gonna come.” you pulled your face from his neck to chase his lips, but he was a tease to pull back only to look down on you with a raised eyebrow, a mocking and surprised look.

“already?”

“please,” you whimpered, leaning in to chase his lips but he pulled away once more. you whined as he smiled and thrusted harder, intently watching your fucked expression. your cheeks flushed, mouth agape.

it’s hard to believe this is already the best sex you have ever had.

“‘m gonna come,” you damn near cried actual tears. “please,”

“come for me, baby.” he cooed.

your whole body tensed up, your legs began to tremor and shake. he thrusted one last time before you finally cum, so intense you can’t help but to dug your nails deep into his bicep. he let you ride it out, watching your expressions as you cry out and clenched your walls around him.

he kept still for a couple seconds, watching as you come down from your high. he studied your breathing before pulling out almost completely and thrusting back in, gently.

you gasped in pleasure, having just orgasmed your legs feel like they’re going to give out. he kissed your open mouth, drowning your whimpers. his thrust began to fasten and harden, you have fully surrender to the pleasure and just let him control you.

“you’re still so hard,” you cried out against his mouth.

chuckling, he replied. “you came so fast.”

his hand snaked down to your belly, down to your core and began playing with your swollen clit. you could only gasp and cry, completely submitting to his doing.

“‘m sorry.” you apologized, feeling bad for cumming so quickly. you had no idea he would make you feel this way, no idea he was able to make you cum by barely fucking you.

“don’t be sorry, baby.” he cooed. “you don’t mind me fucking you til i come, do you?”

“no,” you whimpered in a daze. “don’t mind.”

“such a good girl.” his hot mouth is on yours again.

the dragging of his length made you clench each thrust. your cum was slick and as he began to move faster, the sound of your juice and his balls slapping against you was so lewd and nasty. you could feel your lower belly heating up at the thought.

“you love being a good girl for me, do you?” you clenched around him upon hearing him. he noticed and shot you a smile, mockingly. “you do, don’t you, baby?”

“yes,” you mewled. “love it so much.”

“god, i can fuck you forever.”

“please,” you cried out, tears prickling in your eyes. “gonna come again.”

“wait for me, sweetheart.” he moved faster, thrusting so hard even your body moved back from the impact. “almost there,”

you cling onto him, teeth sinking to his shoulder as you bite down preventing yourself from screaming. “gonna come, johnny.” you cried out, not being able to take any more seconds of waiting.

“come with me, baby,” he held down your hips and thrust into you harder, chasing his own high.

you came for the second time, chest rising up and down, your legs tremor. your cried out, riding your high while still clenching onto him.

you let out a hoarse moan as he pulled out. feeling empty, you tried to close your shaky legs but fail miserably.

johnny pressed a kiss on your forehead before sitting up, taking off his condom, tying a knot before dumping it the in trashcan beside his bed.

you laid there, catching your breath. you feel like you’re still not a hundred percent conscious. head still hazy, you kept your eyes closed as you try to fix your rigid breathing.

you didn’t even notice johnny walking out of the room to grab you a glass of water. it was only when he pressed the cold glass against your cheek that you were brought back down to earth.

“drink up,” he sat down beside you.

you struggled even keeping your eyelids open. nodding, you managed to croak out. “later.”

“you need to drink, sweetheart.” he cooed, caressing your cheek.

nodding again, you let your eyelids closed.

johnny laughed to himself at the sight of you barely conscious. he took a gulp of the water before leaning down to meet your lips. you instinctively parted your lips into his kiss, when you did so, he pushed the water from his mouth to yours, so slowly making sure you don’t choke.

you swallowed on tiny gulp at a time until there was nothing left. you let yourself melt into his kiss, lazily circling your arms around his neck.

he chuckled against your lips before pulling away. “too tired to drink but not tired enough to kiss me?”

you didn’t argue, just nodded.

“roll over and lay on your stomach.” he ordered.

you looked up to him, half lidded. “give me some time to breathe.”

chuckling, he replied. “not like that. you came twice already, baby. just lay on your stomach for me, yeah?”

you were too tired and fucked out to argue or question him, so you did what he asked. rolling over to your stomach, you lay your head on your folded arms, eyes still closed.

you could feel him shift beside you. then a pair of hands meet your shoulder, pressing down. his thumbs skillfully yet gently pressing down on your sore muscles. you let out a long breath, sighing in pleasure.

“that feels so good,” you breathed.

“is that so?” he cooed.

you hummed in response, feeling your soreness slowly fading away. he worked his hands down your spine, massaging down to your waist. when he reached your hips, he pressed with more strength using his body weight. he figured you would be sore in that area.

“thank you,” you muttered.

he let out a soft chuckle before replied. “you’re welcome, baby.”

you let out another long breath, sighing, enjoying his hands on your back.

“you regress a lot during sex.” he commented.

“what do you mean?” you cranked your neck to get a glimpse of his face.

“the way you talk,” he elaborated, smiling. “you take out the subject of your sentence. instead of saying ‘i’m gonna come’ you just say ‘gonna come’. instead of saying ‘that feels so good’ you just say ‘feels so good’.”

your cheeks burn in embarrassment. you bury your face in your arms, flustered that he noticed something you didn’t. “i’m sorry that’s embarrassing.”

he chuckled. “it’s not embarrassing.” he leaned down to press a kiss on your back, letting his lips linger before pulling away. “you’re so pretty.”

you looked up, turning your body slightly so you can face him. you were taken aback by the sudden compliment. you stare at him, unable to form any coherent reply. instead, you pull him into a kiss. he bent down his body to your level and kissed you back with such passion you’d mistaken him as being in love with you. you hope he understand this is your way of saying thank you for his compliment.

the kiss got heated quickly, and as you were about to turn around to hug his neck, he pulled away and guide you to keep laying back on your stomach. you obliged, already too horny for your own good.

he peppered kisses on your shoulder, down your spine. he fondled your ass slightly making you arch your back. you can hear him shuffling behind you, the sound of his drawer opening and closing, the sound of the plastic being torn, the sound of the condom sliding around his length.

“can you lift this up for me, sweetheart?” he caressed your hips, gently pulling it up so your back is slightly arched and lifted.

you broke out in a moan as he pushes into you with ease. you felt full again, walls stretching and clenching around him.

“fuck, i can’t get enough of you.” he hissed. the feeling of his body weight on top of you was overwhelmingly good, his bare chest on your back and your ass cheeks against his abdomen.

this position and angle is making you feel even fuller than before. his cock is hitting your weak spot making you arched your back even more.

“faster.” you pleaded

he hummed in response, pulling his body up and thrusting faster with ease. you gasped, surprised by his speed and yet a new position.

you arched your back til you finally meet his thrusts. your hands gripped onto his sheets you’re afraid it’s gonna rip. your moans and cries and muffled on his mattress, but the way you keep pushing your ass to him didn’t go unnoticed.

“harder, please,” you pleaded, pulling your face up from the bed so he can hear you. “want it harder.”

“harder, baby?” he cooed, before gripping your waist and pulling it to meet his deep thrust. you cried out in response. “like this?”

“yes.” you mewled, words becoming incoherent as you’re getting near to an orgasm. “‘m so close.”

“gonna come, baby? gonna come all over my cock?” his pace fastened as he moved his hands from your hips down to your ass, gripping and fondling it so hard he’s gonna leave imprints of his hand. you wouldn’t mind.

“mm,” you whimpered, unable to hold it any longer. “gonna come, daddy. please, please, ‘m so close.”

you didn’t even know it was possible for him to get harder than he already is, but he did. you felt your walls stretching itself out before clenching around him.

“come with me, baby.” he breathed, his thrust getting sloppier by the second. “come for daddy, sweetheart.”

whites began to fill your vision as your whole body tremor, legs giving out. you cried out to his mattress, knuckles red from gripping the sheet. johnny chased his own high, gripping your waist so hard it’d bruise.

he pulled out before flopping down beside you. out of breath, face flushed. he gave you a lazy smile before tucking your hair behind your ear, pressing a kiss on your cheek.

your breathings have calmed down, but your eyes have given up trying to stay close at this point. you managed to lean into johnny’s hand when he caress your cheek, moving away the hair from your face.

“get some rest.” and a kiss on your forehead was the last thing you remember before drifting to the best sleep of your life.

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

surprise..? 😋

i wanted to write a smut for muliebrity but i didn’t want to rush it so i wrote this instead! based on the best hookup of my Entire life you’re welcome

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

꩜ .ᐟ moodboard

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

status: on going

read chapter i here

moodboard & playlist

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

downbad!mark x fem!reader

status: on going

chapter ix. the bouquet

prev ㅣ next

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

mark promised himself the day he finally made a move on you, a sexual one, johnny would be the last person he tells. he made the mistakes of telling johnny about his progress with you from time to time and the older man wouldn’t stop shut up about it. he finds it amusing, johnny finds mark’s difficult love life amusing.

mark didn’t tell johnny about the cuddling from the other day, of course. he wanted to, so bad, he wanted to brag to johnny how he considerate and such a gentleman he was, but it was an intimate moment and it wasn’t really his place to blab about such a vulnerable moment of yours.

he’ll think of another thing to brag about.

when johnny texted him again this morning, mark almost didn’t even bother to read it, but he was glad he did.

johnny: do you remember the place i bought that expensive rose bouquet for my ex

mark: yeah why

johnny: i just got an ad on instagram

johnny: they’re having a sale

mark: so?

johnny: ?

johnny: go buy it for your wife

johnny: they’re having a sale so maybe now you can afford it

johnny: with your broke ass

mark clicked his tongue in annoyance, but he would be lying if he said johnny didn’t give him an idea. would it be too much to give you flowers? would you even like it? are you that kind of girl who would be happy to be given flowers? all girls like that, don’t they?

mark: can u not be a dick to me

johnny: kid, i’m literally helping you

johnny: just buy her some flowers

mark: u want me to buy that big ass bouquet for her?

johnny: BITCH DAMN see this is why i’m mean to you

johnny: i meant literally any other bouquet dumbass

johnny: that big one i bought was for graduation mark

johhny: GRADUATION

mark: okay i get it jeez

mark: do u actually think she’d like it

johnny: every girls like flowers mark

johnny: hell even i would like it

johnny: 👀

mark: stop looking at me with those eyes

johnny: 😔

johnny: but seriously go buy it

johnny: you’ll thank me

johnny: and i’d say you’re welcome markie 🥰

mark: ur so weird dude

mark: but i think i will so thank u

mark: for her, not u btw

mark locked his phone and put it back in his back pocket. it vibrated twice but he paid no mind. knowing johnny, he probably just texted him a bunch of emojis.

now, about that flower.

( … )

it was after a halfway drive to your place that he realized he probably should’ve researched different types of flowers and what they represent. he felt like a fool as he steals glances to the pink lillies now sitting on the passenger seat.

mark knew nothing about flowers. he just thinks they’re pretty. mark saw some pretty pale pink flowers—that he now knows are called lily after asking the florist man a stupid “what are they?”. the man didn’t tell him anything about the flower, he just gave him a name. lily. that’s a pretty flower, mark thought. first thought, best thought, right?

he pulled over when his eta was about ten minutes to your place. he fished his phone out of his pocket, being greeted by johnny’s notification—just as he expected—sending him a drooling emoji. ignoring it, he went to safari and brace himself to type the stupidest most pathetic search on google.

pink lily flowers meaning

he nervously bit on his nails in anticipation. pink lilies symbolize tenderness, admiration, and gratitude. that’s not so bad, is it? you wouldn’t think it’s weird of him to give you flowers that represent admiration, would you?

he scrolls down further, skimming through the god damned ai overview of his search. he feels somehow satisfied with what he found. it’s not nearly as bad as he thought it would be. he was expecting the worst, he truly was. he was ready for the flower to have a meaning of marriage, or worse, farewell.

it was before he lock his phone to put it back on his pocket that he caught a glimpse of the People also ask section.

Does the lily flowers mean “I dare you to love me?”

oh, fuck him.

There was a use of the tiger lily in the movie "Imagine Me and You" where Luce, one of the main characters tells another main character, Rachel, that the flower means "I dare you to love me."

“it’s a movie!” he exclaimed with a huge sigh of relief. “okay, that’s good.”

he typed in the name of the movie, just to know how popular it is. it didn’t ring a bell to him so it couldn’t be that popular, can it?

skimming through the overview, mark could feel his heart falling to the pit of his stomach.

“the two women become close friends, and when rachel learns that luce is a lesbian…” he read it out loud, trailing at the end. “..despite her happy marriage, she’s falling for luce— it’s a fucking lesbian movie?!”

sighing, he glared at the innocent flower sitting on his passenger seat.

“fuck my life.” he breathed.

he could just not drive to your place. all he did was text asking if you were home, you texted back a simple ‘yes, why’ and he never replied back. he could throw the flowers, text you a simple ‘nvm’ and just drive back home. but he couldn’t, could he? how could he disappoint the love of his life like that?

taking a big breath, mark turned his car back on.

( … )

there were three knocks at your door and an endless tapping of mark’s foot. he held the flowers high enough that he can hide his face behind them.

he feels foolish once again. what if you think it’s weird that he shows up at your doorstep with flowers in hand? what would he say? he cursed johnny in his head for giving such silly idea. he should’ve thought this through. he should’ve at least think about it twice before going to a florist and getting the first flower he thought was pretty.

there was enough time for him to sprint back to his car, but he wasted it by ruffling his hair in frustration. before he could take another shaky, nervous breath, the door swing open.

face still behind the flowers, mark didn’t dare to day a word. it was when he realized you weren’t saying a thing that he seriously contemplated ending his life right then and there. cursing himself one last time, mark bravely lowered the flowers so he could actually take a look at you.

he was bracing himself for a confused look, or maybe a shock wide eyed you, but he was so relieved to see you with a hand on the door handle, another one holding a phone as your eyes are practically glued to it. you hadn’t even looked up to him yet.

“hi,” he croaked out. it’s now or never. he couldn’t stand like an idiot in front of your apartment forever.

“hey, mark, come in—“ you were about to turn around, but for a split second you looked up from your phone to finally get a glimpse of him.

furrowing your eyebrows, you froze in your track for a bit.

“hi,” he breathed.

“hi,” you replied, confusion all over your face. he thinks you look adorable. “is that.. for me?”

“uh, yeah,” he hesitated. “do you like flowers? i mean, do you like getting flowers?”

you opened your mouth to reply, but his rambling beat you to it.

“sorry, what i meant is, do you like it if people get your flowers? i get that it’s not everyone’s preference.” he wished he could jump off her balcony right now.

“mark,”

“i’m sorry if this is weird i didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, i just—“

“mark.” your voice was a tad bit louder this time and it finally got him to stop talking.

“yes?” he trailed.

you chuckled and suddenly his whole body felt at ease.

you grabbed the flowers from his hands, he was gripping on them so tightly you’re scared the would bend. he watched as you grab it from his hands, your eyes never leaving the flowers as you smiled fondly.

“they’re pink,” you scrunched your nose at him. “very pretty.”

mark smiled back, scratching the back of his head.

cradling the bouquet in one arm, you took a step forward, almost startling him. right hand cupping his left cheek, you pulled his face a little before planting a kiss on his right cheek. not too long, but long enough for him to savor the feeling of your soft lips against his skin.

pulling away, you scrunched your nose one last time before smiling warmly. “thank you, mark.”

he smiled back, a little less nervous altogether. “you’re welcome.”

“to answer your question, i do like flowers.”

mark chuckled. “okay.”

“i’d answer your other questions but to be honest i didn’t catch any of them.”

rolling his eyes playfully, he replied. “whatever.”

your eyes lingered on him for a while. he stood there, eyes locking into yours, not moving a muscle in fear your eyes would dart away from his.

you finally broke the eye contact as you cleared your throat. mark mimicked your gesture, eyes roaming everywhere but your direction.

“i’m rewatching new girl from season one, do you wanna come in?” you invited.

cheeks slightly flushed and a bouquet of flower—from him—hugged tightly to your figure, how could he say no to such pretty sight?

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

taglist: @spiderm444rk @theepr1ncess @413ktz

hi! ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞

my goodness it has been a while! i want to apologize because i haven’t been updating. i was drowning with work and i didn’t have any energy to write. i was also dealing with my.. psychiatrist. a little tmi but she kinda sucks ass and im looking for a new one! also the upped the dose of my anti psychotic literally a week after i posted my last chapter about yn having her dosage increased.. okay self indulgent moment..

this was kind of a short and rushed chapter but i had fun writing. i’m not gonna make any promise of coming up with new chapters sooner that before, but i am getting motivated to write again, so please stay tune. thank you so much for everyone who waited!

this chapter is dedicated to @aeriuchidesuu ♡ believe me when i say that i think about your sweet comment on my last chapter every single day. i hope you like this one! a smut is coming.. that much i can promise you..

[partyluvr]

BITCH THE FUCK GODDAMN… ok ill write some new chapters

[partyluvr]

hello to all of you sweet beautiful people. i’m sorry i haven’t updated muliebrity in a while! pretty preoccupied with work atm but i’ll get back to you guys asappPP

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

downbad!mark x fem!reader

status: on going

chapter viii. i got you (warning: mentions of psychotic and depressive medications)

prev | next

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

it was nice day. the sun was out, mark finished his class early, he made a quick stop to a nearby coffee shop to buy himself a coffee and grabbed a croissant for you. he had made his mind up about picking you up from therapy. he planned on asking you to get dinner with him, or if you don’t feel like it, he’d ask you to just stay in and watch a movie. he just needs to see you, whatever the plan.

getting into his car, mark fished his phone from his pocket. he changed his mind about texting you and called you instead.

after a few ring, he heard your voice on the other line.

“hello?”

“hi.” mark breathed.

“what’s up, mark?” you sound slightly disoriented, mark took a concern of that immediately.

“do you wanna grab dinner with me later?”

“uh, i don’t know, i’m still at the hospital.”

“i’ll pick you up.”

“look, i, uh,” you stopped yourself, hesitating. “i don’t think it’s a good idea, mark.”

“why? is everything okay?”

“i’m so out of it today.” your voice hoarse. “it was such a long therapy session.”

“i’ll pick you up, okay?” mark noticed how pushy he was being, but he was now more concerned of you than he was eager to meet you. “did you bring your car?”

“no, i took an uber.”

“that’s good. stay there, okay? i’ll come pick you up.”

“okay.”

( … )

when mark saw you in the lobby of the hospital, he didn’t say much. when you entered his car, he kept quiet. he helped you put on your seatbelt. when he start the car, neither of you said a thing. it was only before he took off the parking lot that he asked you where do you want him to drive you.

the both of you settled to go to his place.

the drive was silent. you had your head leaned against the window, your gaze empty. mark was so concerned that he had a hard time driving because he kept wanting to look over to you. he had never seen you like this. you have always been a somewhat private person when it comes to these things. whenever you feel down, you would shut yourself off and let mark know beforehand. he knew better than to disrupt your solitude. now that he finally has the chance to include himself in your episodes, he wrecked his brain in what to do to make you feel comfortable.

when the both of you entered his apartment, you still haven’t said a word. mark trailed behind you slowly but steady, not wanting to rush you.

“can i lay on your bed?” you finally spoke, voice latched with tiredness.

mark nodded immediately. “yes, of course. do you want me to get you anything?”

“no, just,” you sighed, seeming unsure about everything. “can we just lay down and not talk?”

mark wanted nothing more than to pick you up and lay you down his mattress softly. kissing your forehead and whispering sweet nothings. he’s in no place to do that, so he guides the way to his bedroom, letting you pick which side of the bed you wanted to lay on, before then laying on the opposite side of you. not too close, but also not too far.

laying on your back, you stare at the ceiling, hand folded on your stomach. mark was just as silent and still beside you, not daring to start any conversation.

he felt like you might need some silence, and he will gladly grant you exactly that.

fifteen minutes of silence might’ve passed, mark wasn’t sure if he was exactly keeping counts. but it was a little later that you finally spoke.

“hana told me she wasn’t actually into women.” you trailed each words in your sentence.

mark didn’t know how to respond, but he pushed his feelings and shock aside.

“yeah?”

“yeah.” your voice still low, still tired. “she told me she liked me but she wasn’t into women. she said i would make a great boyfriend if i wasn’t a girl.”

“i’m so sorry.” mark didn’t know what else to say. he’d offer more affection but he didn’t wanna be too forward. he was just glad you’re dumping this out on him.

“i didn’t even like her that much, you know?”

“yeah?” he paused before continuing, “by the looks of it, i would’ve assumed you liked her a lot.”

you let out a heavy sigh before replying, eyebrows furrowed. “i don’t think so,” you paused briefly. “i like her enough to keep talking to her but now that i think about it we didn’t really have that much in common.”

“yeah?”

“i enjoyed talking to her because she was very pretty, but the more i talk to her the more i realize i can’t talk about what i really wanna talk about with her. we don’t have anything in common.”

he gets what you mean. if he weren’t too lovestruck with you, he maybe would’ve had a tiny crush on hana. anyone would on a soft spoken petite girl with pretty hair and a pretty smile.

“how are you feeling?” he began, softly. “are you okay?”

“i’ve just been very,” you trailed, hesitating to finish your sentence. “empty.”

the moment the word fell out of your lips mark felt his world crumble. how could have he been so ignorant? too caught up in his own fantasy that he failed to see the girl he’s so deeply in love with is feeling this way.

“my therapist told me today that i use people as disposable items to fill something in me. she said i continue to seek temporary pleasures because i refuse to address that there’s something wrong with me.”

oh, how painful was the ache in his heart. to hear the woman of his dream, the woman so good at making his day better, to talk this way about herself.

“i feel like i’ve been with many people as a way to run from myself. i feel so empty and i thought being with as many people as i can will make me feel less empty.”

he didn’t know what to reply to that. he stayed silent, offering you company without forcing his way into the conversation. he just wanted to be there for you.

“i’m so tired.” he can hear your sadness even if your tone was so monotone. “i’m so tired of feeling this way.”

it was silent for a while. so silent he could hear your breathing, so silent he can match his breathings with you—inhaling and exhaling at the same time. there are many things he wanted to do to you. hug you, take you in his arms, hold you so close and so tight, leave kisses all over your face. he would take such good care of you, he would treat you so good, he would be so good to you. he would be willing to be anything you want him to be. but for now he needs to slow down. for now he needs to listen and be attentive, he needs to be there for you and he must not get ahead of himself.

mark then decided to break the silence. he called out your name softly, so delicately, as if he was afraid to scare you off. it was only when you hummed in response that he spoke again.

“why do you stop taking your meds?”

you kept your gaze straight. even from sideways he could see your eyes shifting, he could read your expression. you look taken aback, maybe shocked, even.

what compelled you to be that surprised? were you surprised that he took a notice? how could he not? how could he not notice when the woman he’s so in love with stopped taking her medications? he noticed when at the movies you said you would take them after the movie, he noticed when you said you forgot your meds at home, he noticed when you would immediately turned off your alarm, he even noticed when the alarm went off for the last time before it never rang ever again.

“i thought i’d be okay without them.” your voice quivered a bit.

mark felt the ache in his heart again. he’s trying so hard to hold himself back from wanting to hold you.

“did you tell that to your therapist?”

you nodded.

mark softened his gaze on you. you, on the other hand, kept your eyes straight to the ceiling.

“my therapist told me there’s a high chance they’re gonna increase my dosage.”

this was when mark decided it was enough of him being quiet and polite. he grabbed your hand and hold it firmly.

“hey,” he called out to you, making you finally turn your head to face him. he was met with a face of the love of his life, the face of a woman he so dearly love, the woman who looks so tired he can barely you in your eyes. “you’re gonna be alright. okay?”

you stared into his eyes for a brief second, your expression unrecognizable to him but he maintained eye contact with you.

“you really think so?” he didn’t missed the way the bottom of your lips quivered.

mark took your hand that was in his towards his mouth before planting a soft kiss on the back of it. “i know so.” he gave you a smile.

your facial expression never altered. your gaze was still so tired, but you were looking so deeply into his eyes that he had to fight the urge to look away.

it was overwhelming. he had never gotten this physically close to you before. he could feel the air coming out of you when you exhale, he could count every lashes decorating your eyes, he could see every little movement of your pupils. it took everything in him to not let his eyes roam low and stare at your lips.

it seemed like you beat him to it. he could’ve sworn on his late great grandmother that he saw your eyes darted down to his lips. you lingered there for a second before looking up back to his eyes.

he could feel his heartbeat getting louder, heavier. and then he saw you did it again. eyes going from his eyes down to his lips, stayed there for a second before darting back to his eyes.

he could have you now. so close, so small, so within his reach. you were centimeters away. hand in his, gaze repeatedly falling down to his lips; you were his for the night.

he could have you now, but not like this.

as much as he wanted nothing but to kiss your open mouth and leave you gasping for air making you forget about all your worries about your appointment with your psychiatrist the day after, he couldn’t. lord knows he couldn’t. mark wouldn’t. not like this. not when you’re so vulnerable that couldn’t even drive yourself to the hospital. not when the only reason you’re in his bed is because he had to beg you to pick you up from the hospital.

mark believe there would be other times. there would be other opportunities. today, he pushed his needs aside and decided to be the very best friend you have ever had.

he once again pick your hand that was in his, bring them closer to his mouth, before planting another soft kiss on the back of it. this time, his lips lingered longer, as if it was a substitute for the real kiss he wanted to give you. eyes deep into each others, he could see you biting your bottom lip and he pulled his away from your hand. he planted another short kiss to the now damp skin, before smiling softly at you.

“i got you,” he breathed. “okay?”

you nodded like you didn’t trust yourself to speak up.

mark let go of your hand and pulled himself up so he could lay down a little higher than your figure. then, he opened his arm before tilting his head, signaling you to snuggle closer to him.

and snuggled closer to him you did. he kissed the top of your head before pulling you closer, your nose touching his neck.

you smell so nice. he can smell your chocolate scented shampoo, your coconut body lotion, and your vanilla body mist. such an odd mix but it works with you. you smell like you, and he loves it.

mark promised to keep his composure. even when you’re finally in his arms, even when you’re so close and practically clinging onto him, even when you planted a tiny kiss on his neck.

“i’ll start taking my iron pill.” he spoke.

he could feel you chuckle against his skin. “like, right now?”

he laughed before explaining. “sorry, i should’ve made myself clear. i meant i’ll start taking my iron pill whenever you need to take your meds.”

“yeah?” you look up to him, yet he refused to look down. he knew he couldn’t control himself if he could look at you from that angle. “you’d do that for me?”

mark didn’t miss your playful tone, so grateful that in the middle of such a serious situation you could still be yourself with him.

“of course. that’s so thoughtful, right?”

“so thoughtful of you.” you chuckled again. “i also have to take my anti psychotic at night, you know. what are you gonna do then since you’re so thoughtful?”

“i’ll take my vitamin!” he exclaimed.

you laughed again, this time a little louder.

“i’m serious! my mom got me a pack of vitamin c and i still haven’t taken any. she’ll thank you, you know.” he half joked.

you laughed yet again and mark promised to make it his life mission to keep making you laugh. he looked down to you briefly, catching a sight so beautiful he could die a happy man right this moment. smile so wide it reached your eyes, nose scrunched, eyebrows slightly furrowed. you were so beautiful.

“well tell her i said you’re welcome.” you replied.

he rolled his eyes playfully. “i’ll send your regards.”

it was silent again. for a couple minutes, at least. you in his arms, cuddling to his figure. your hand on his chest, your finger subconsciously drawing shapes onto his clothed skin. mark could stay like this forever.

above of else, mark was so happy you finally opened up to him in a way that makes him so included in your life. he was glad you gave him permission to be there for you, he was glad you didn’t shut yourself off after giving him a mere heads up.

you were the one who broke the silence this time. voice a little muffled from being pressed against his neck, you called out to him. “mark?”

he hummed in response, subconsciously pulling your body closer to his. if this was the first and last time he would be able to hold you this close, he feared it would took him a lifetime for him to forget how you feel pressed against him.

when you failed to respond back to him, he spoke again. “we’re gonna look into the side effects of a higher dosage for whatever they prescribed you with,” he reassured. “and i’m gonna be here every step of the way. for every milligrams they added into your dosage.”

“thank you.” you breathed out, voice so soft even he wouldn’t be able to hear had you not been so close to him.

he smiled before muttering, “i got you.”

it was the last thing he remembered saying before the both of you drifted to sleep, warm and safe in each other’s arms.

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

taglist: @spiderm444rk @theepr1ncess

long author note!

i have to admit the reader is a little bit self indulgent. there are two things i want to say. first, reader using people as a way of coping isn’t too far off from me. im twenty five years old now and i remember i spent my early twenties being so out of touch with everything. i had hoe phases after hoe phases after hoe phases. i regretted everything i did because now i realized i indulged in those activities because i was trying so hard to fill something inside me thats been broken for so long. i’m not trying to shame girls for being sexually active! i lost my virginity to a hookup so believe me when i say sex can be nothing more than just sex. but sometimes, sex is also a coping mechanism, sex is also a distraction, sex is also an addiction. if you’re in your early twenties, go enjoy yourself as much as you can but please take care of yourself. there are many things from my past that i regretted deeply, i regretted undressing myself for so many people who didn’t deserve to see me the way they did. i am now twenty five and medicated. i hope for every life lessons i learned the hard way, somewhere out there someone younger than me would be lucky enough to learn those lessons through observation and not experiences.

speaking of medications, i’m on ssri and anti psychotic. i’m so sorry if putting those in can be triggering to some people. if any of you are looking for signs or courage to start your medication, use me! i was so scared of starting them, but they’re really not as bad as you think. i have a long way ahead of me but being medicated is a start.

whatever case, i hope you enjoy this chapter! i’ve only received few feedbacks but reading them is always a pleasure. ily! ☆〜（ゝ。∂）

[partyluvr]

Damn, Mark Lee being in love with his bisexual best friend is so me right now (except for the smut part lol) give me hope so i don't kms 😭😭

LMAOO are you in love with your bisexual best friend? i can’t give you any hope im so sorry but hopefully it gets better 😭😭

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

꩜ .ᐟ moodboard

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

downbad!mark x fem!reader

status: on going

read here.

꩜ .ᐟ playlist.

yves tumor - romanticist

the roots - you got me

sade - lovers rock

d’angelo - really love

amy winehouse - half time

eyedress - my girl the finest

femi tahiru - jussai

frex - oxford circus

ethel cain - everytime (britney cover)

karolina - sore

[partyluvr]

hiiii i love muliebrity could you add me to the taglist please 🫶🏾

aahhh hiii yes ofc!

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

downbad!mark x fem!reader

status: on going

chapter vii. let’s eat!

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☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

if there’s any unspoken tradition between mark and you, it would be eating homemade meals. you cook, mark would linger around the kitchen and occasionally help here and there, you both eat, and mark then do the dishes. it’s so domestic, if he thinks about it. it’s a very traditional gender roles and though mark believes assigning roles to a specific gender is stupid, he does appreciate that he can live out these domestic fantasies with you.

mark loves your cooking. he remembered when the both of you started hanging out you insist you’re only good at cooking for yourself. you don’t like to measure, you don’t really like to experiment, you just play it safe by cooking what you like. the first time you cooked for mark, or rather, the first time mark tried your cooking was when he came over to yours with a huge hangover. it was so bad he was surprised he could drive himself to yours without crashing into a tree. you had made yourself some chicken broth soup the day before, some leftover were in the fridge by the time mark arrived. he remembered you heating it up before scooping some warm rice in a bowl for him. he ate the entire thing like a starved child.

he wasn’t into you romantically then—or maybe he was, he just wasn’t aware of it yet—so he didn’t think of it as anything more than you caring for him as a friend. looking back at it now his heart would skip a beat just reminiscing it. what a sweet memory. he remembered in his foggy hungover state he complimented your dish, he remembered asking why are you okay with eating chicken broth as a vegetarian, he remembered you laughing and explaining to him that your vegetarian diet has always been weird, that the primary cause of it was because of your weird relationship with food. mark thinks very fondly of that day.

slowly tapping his fingers against your kitchen counter, mark silently watch as you maneuver around. sweatpants, a black t-shirt, and an apron. if he could give you a kiss just for looking so good he would. oh, he would do that and more.

“can you grab some carrots from the fridge, please?” your voice snapped him out of his trance.

“sure.” he muttered a reply before walling over to the fridge. opening the door, he was greeted by the cool air blowing out his face. he scanned the fridge for a bit. he has grown familiar with how you organize your fridge. it’s not neatly clean, but it’s organized to your liking. ice and some leftover gelato in the freezer, cream cheese and jams on the top, tortillas and some cans of redbull in the middle, veggies and onions at the bottom, milk and some leftover coffee ok the inside of the door. mark grabbed two carrots. “two okay?”

“mhmm.” he could feel his dick twitched at the reply.

he closed the fridge and walked over to where you were standing. it took everything in him to not hug you from behind and rest his chin on your shoulder. he would give you a kiss on the cheek and make small talk while holding you close as you cook. later, he thinks. soon.

“can you peel them and cut them into like, long squares, please?”

of course i can, my dear, he wanted to say. but he settled with, “for sure.” he paused before chuckling. “long squares, you mean like, rectangles?”

mark saw you grinned and rolled your eyes. “long squares, rectangles, whatever.”

he laughed and went to work. he rolled the sleeve of his crewneck, silently cursing himself for not wearing a t-shirt. not until he swore he could’ve seen you peeking at his arm as he rolled up his sleeve.

mark was many things, but he wasn’t delusional. he knew what he saw. he just could never trust himself of his judgement about everything regarding you. he would over analyze things and make a big deal out of nothing. knowing so, mark decided to push it all aside and went to work.

“so,” he began. at this point it seemed like mark is allergic to just being silent with you. he had to say something.

you hummed in response, still immersed in cutting tofu into squares. mark felt hot all of a sudden, since when did you humming make him react this way?

“am i doing this right?” he picked up a piece of carrot he just cut.

you turned to him briefly and replied with a nod and smile. “yes, that’s perfect.”

mark felt satisfied with your praise. he smiled to himself before shifting his gaze from you to the carrots in front of him.

“so,” he began again, not knowing where he’s even going with this.

you once again hummed in reply, making him shiver.

the reply that came out of his mouth was so stupid he wanted to take the knife in his grip and stab it deep into his own guts. “how’s hana?”

you didn’t even glance at him or stop what you were doing. “i don’t wanna talk about her right now.”

“oh.”

you turned to him and scrunched your nose, an action mark finds endearing. “it’s fine.“

he couldn’t shake off the feeling that this could be good news to him. why wouldn’t you talk about her? what happened that makes you adamant about the topic? is this an opportunity for him?

countless of scenarios started flooding his head. sometimes mark wonder why does his brain works so fast and so well if it has anything to do with you. he should be able to write romance novels with the t of daydreaming he does.

your voice broke him off his trance per usual.

“damn, did they glue this shit on or something?” you grunted as you struggle to open the jar in your hand. you wiped your hands a few times before trying again but to no avail.

this is it! as corny as this is, this is his time to shine!

“let me,” he swiftly put down his knife to reach out to you. but instead of taking the jar from your hand, mark grasped onto your hand and tightened his grip on it, essentially holding the jar with your hand beneath it. he got nervous the moment your skin touched his, but there’s no way he backing down now.

he prayed in his head to be granted the strength to open this jar. it would be embarrassing if he failed. the grip of his hand above yours got firmer as he grab the cap and twisted it. with enough force, the cap opened with a loud pop! as mark immediately loosened his grip, afraid to be hurting you. his hand lingered for a millisecond before he retrieved it, freeing you from his grasp.

“thank youuu.” you were quick to go back to your cooking, not even sparing him a glance, as if nothing happened.

mark sucked in his breath and shifted his gaze downwards, not wanting to look at you any longer. he got into his head again. if he decided to go through with plan of his to get out of the friend zone, he needs to toughen up and stop acting like a school boy. he needs to get used to touching you, be needs to get bolder, he needs to take more risks.

that was a good one. he’s on the right track and he just needs to keep this up.

“do you want to go out this weekend?” he tried to maintain his cool, making sure he never looks up to her direction.

you straightened your posture and turned to him, thinking. “i can’t, i’m seeing my therapist on saturday and psychiatrist on sunday.”

“oh?” mark took this opportunity to stop minding the carrots and turned his attention fully to you. “do you want me to drive you?”

you shook your head. “you have class on saturday, remember?”

“oh, shit. yeah, you’re right.” mark now has fully turned his body to face you. “i can drive you sunday.”

you chuckled. “i’ll let you know.”

he nodded, satisfied at himself for being somewhat attentive. if you wanted him to skip class this saturday to drive you to therapy, he would. oh, he would, in a heartbeat.

“once you’re done with the carrots, can you help me fry these tofu?” you chimed. “i’m gonna make the sauce.”

“sure, babe.”

mark stopped dead in his track, trying so hard to not slap his mouth shut with his hand. that slipped, but there’s no way he’s gonna make it look like an accident. he needs to make it not look like a big deal, maybe that way he can work his way up to calling you more affectionate pet names.

you, to mark’s luck, did not react at all. mark liked to think you were too busy to catch what he was saying.

“is this heat okay?” mark moved his body aside to give you space to look at the stove.

you hummed in response.

mark put some cubes of tofu into the pan, sizzling noise filled the kitchen. he made sure the heat was low one last time before shifting his attention to you.

slowly, he walked towards your figure and stood just behind you. he was only slightly taller than you, so he wasn’t towering over you, but tall enough that he can peek through your shoulder. he braced himself for what he was about to do.

chin slightly hovering your shoulder, he leaned his head a bit further into your neck, just enough to make his presence known.

“what are you making?” he asked, voice low because being this close to you means he can just whisper and you would hear.

to his surprise, you didn’t react at all. is this the green light he’s been looking for? does that mean it’s okay for him to go further?

“the sauce for the tofu.” you answered.

“what is that?” he pointed to a bottle, hand so close to your figure it was as if he was about to hug you.

“sesame oil.”

“what’s that?”

“that’s oregano.”

“that?”

“msg.”

“what about that?”

you cranked your neck to face him. with furrowed eyebrow, you snickered. “that’s ketchup, dummy.”

mark sheepishly grinned. your face was so close to him, so close that if he just move slightly forward with enough force his lips would land onto yours. so close that he could grab your waist. so close that he’s having a hard time controlling himself.

you nudged him with your hip, playfully shoving him out of your way. a teasing smile on your lips, you spoke. “move, you’re in my way.”

flustered, he took a step back while holding back a grin. today is going so well for him.

sizzling sound from the pan as you poured in the sauce brought him back to reality, preventing him from daydreaming.

“do you want it spicy?” you asked.

still holding back a grin, he answered. “a little.”

you scoop a spoon of chilli oil and put it in the pan, stirring the sauce briefly before turning to him once more. “you think that’s enough?”

he laughed. “how am i supposed to know?”

“right, my bad.” you replied back with a laugh. you scoop some sauce with a spatula, blew on it, put it on your palm and licked it.

mark gulped, feeling so riled up and on edge.

“it’s spicy enough for me. wait,” you went back and repeated what you did before. scooped some sauce, blew on it, this time you put it on the back of your hand just near your thumb joint. you extended your hand out towards him, tipping your chin.

he blinked and froze for a second before bringing his body forward. he took your hand in his, guiding it near his mouth. still maintaining eye contact with you, he put his mouth on the back of your hand, slowly sucking and licking the very little sauce you had put on there. the spicy sensation prickled on his taste buds but he paid no mind to it. he swore he never intended it to be as sensual as it is in his head, he couldn’t help it, how could he make it casual when he can taste your skin on his tongue?

“good?” you shook him out of his trance.

mark straightened his posture and cleared his throat, clearly giving up on acting unbothered. he nodded firmly before scratching the back of his head. “yea, no, yea. that’s, uh, that’s good enough for me.”

you turned around to finish your cooking. mark stood where he was, still shaken from how much was happening in a span of an hour. this is good. this is what he wants.

he saw you turned off the stove and grabbed a plate. mark was about to walked towards you to help, but he decided to just stood there. he watched as you plate your dish and putting the dirty pan on the sink. mark took a note to rinse it with water before eating so it’d be easier for him to wash it later. you undid your apron, folded it and put it on the kitchen counter.

turning to mark, you chimed with a smile on your face. “let’s eat!”

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

taglist: @spiderm444rk

im so excited for the next chapter

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

downbad!mark x fem!reader

status: on going

chapter vi. boyyyy (warning: 18+, male masturbation)

prev | next

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

ever since the hand holding fiasco, mark has been absolutely restless. he was so grateful you didn’t make it weird, or make it a bigger deal than it actually is. but no matter how much mark tried to be normal about it, he just couldn’t.

your hands were so soft. those body lotions you lither your body with everyday works wonder, apparently. mark found himself daydreaming about that day in the theater. he even fell asleep thinking about it once. he replayed that moment over and over again in his head. he felt like a freak.

mark promised himself he wouldn’t jerk off to the thought of holding hands with you. he promised himself he wouldn’t taint such pure, adorable memory just because he was too horny to function. he promised himself he wouldn’t stoop that low.

but of course it was painfully obvious that the promise was unattainable from the get go. mark lasted a few days being normal about it, but he could only hold on for so long.

he let out a hiss as he pumped his hand around his shaft. droplets sweats dribbling down his neck, mark tried his best to suppress his moans. he wanted nothing but to moan out your name, groaning and grunting as if you were actually here with him. but he felt weird being so vocal and loud when it was just him alone in his room. good lord, he didn’t even need to watch porn to get himself going. mark himself was surprised he could get an erection that hard from just the memory of holding your hand.

he picked up his pace feeling as his orgasm was near. he tried his best to picture you in his mind, just the thought of you naked in his bed is enough to make him come undone. he hissed when he accidentally gripped his cock a little too tight, the friction from his ring he forgot to take off took him by surprise. he imagine he’d hiss or grunt the same way had you were giving him head and accidentally grazed your teeth over his cock. he would hiss in reflex but he would reassure you that it’s okay. he would caress your head softly. he wouldn’t let you apologize for it because he didn’t want you to feel bad.

“it’s okay, keep going.” mark wanted to bury himself alive after he said those words out loud. but his intense orgasm was so close he couldn’t care less. he would deal with it once his post nut clarity hits.

for now, he just wanted to come.

his phone buzzed signaling a new message coming and it fell from the table since he had put it so near to the edge. mark jumped in his seat from the loud thud, immediately let go of his grip from his cock to bend down and safe his phone, fearing the impact would break his screen.

it didn’t, but the glimpse of the notification on his screen pushed mark to the conclusion that he would not be finishing his little jerking off daydreaming session.

johnny’s contact name from the imessage notifications on his lockscreen was enough to make his dick the softest it has ever been. clicking his tongue, mark unlocked his phone.

johnny: you up?

“why is he texting me like a booty call..” mark muttered to himself.

mark: can u pick a worse time to text me

johnny: lmaooo were you beating your meat or something

clicking his tongue once more, mark typed a reply before deleting it. he was too pissed about not finishing he didn’t have any energy to entertaining johnny.

another text from him came before mark had the chance to lock his phone.

johnny: LMAOOOO YOU WERE

mark: shut the fuck up

mark: what do u want

johnny: LMAOOOO

johnny: were you thinking of her?

mark: can u shut the fuck up

mark: she’s my bestfriend ur so weird

johnny: LMAOOO YOU WERE

johnny: boy i didn’t even name her

johnny: i could be talking about jaehyun’s girlfriend

mark: why tf would i jerk off to jaehyun’s gf

johnny: exactly

mark: what do you want

johnny: nothing, i’m just bored

johnny: and now i’m not anymore

johnny: so are you ever going to tell her how you feel?

mark: who?

johnny: BOY 😂😂😂

mark: can u pls be normal i really dont have time for this

johnny: mark you know she’s into guys right

johnny: you know she’s not a lesbian right

johnny: it’s important that you know this

mark: ofc i know

mark: doesn’t make any difference

mark: she doesn’t look at me like that

johnny: like what

mark: like she’s into me

johnny: and do you think you look at her like you’re into her?

mark: yeah?

mark: probably idk

johnny: BOYYYY 😂😂😂😂😂

mark: i’m actually gonna fucking block u

johnny: mark

johnny: you look at her like she’s gonna take your lunch money

johnny: ever since you realize you had a crush on her you’ve been so nervous

johnny: im surprised she never noticed how nervous you are

johnny: maybe she’s just as dumb as you are

johnny: AYEE maybe yall are meant for each other

mark clicked his tongue in annoyance, but he couldn’t shake off the feeling that johnny might be right. has he not been obvious this whole time? maybe the reason he’s stuck in this friend zone is because he has been treating you like a friend. does that mean he needs to do more? to make sure you know that he wants more?

mark: idk what to do man

mark: i don’t wanna ruin what i have with her

mark: but u know how much i like her

johnny: believe me i know

johnny: jaehyun’s girlfriend also knows

johnny: remember at jaehyun’s place when you cant stop talking about her and jaehyun’s girlfriend was the only one listening and responding to you because jaehyun and i were lowkey over it

mark: fuck u

johnny: my point is

johnny: you want this so bad

johnny: do something

johnny: make it happen

johnny: dont just jerk off to her and write sad ig captions about how misunderstood you are

mark: i fucking hate u

johnny: mark

johnny: you’re cool, you’re good looking, you know her better than anyone else

johnny: it’s worth a try

mark: did u just call me handsome

mark: gay

johnny: you know what i hope she dates jaemin instead

mark: NOOO PLS SHE THINKS HE’S HOT

mark: okay i get ur point

mark: i’ll stop wallowing in my self pity

mark: thanks dad

johnny: anytime kid

johnny: now go bust a fat one for me, will ya

johnny: 😘😘

mark chuckled before locking his phone, carelessly throwing it to his bed. he sighed before resting his back onto his seat. closing his eyes, images of you started flooding his mind. you were so beautiful, mark always wondered why was there ever a time when he wasn’t foolishly in love with you.

it took him not even a minute to go from having flashes of images of you in his head, to fully imagining and picturing his fantasy of you naked.

fuck, he’s hard again.

he’ll think of ways to steal your heart later. he’ll swoop you off your feet and make sure you’re just as head over heels as he is. he can deal with that later. for now, he needs to deal with his hard cock slapping against his tummy.

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

taglist: @spiderm444rk

i took my quepiatine before this im drowsing off as im posting it im sorry its not proofread

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

downbad!mark x fem!reader

status: on going

chapter v. the movies

prev | next

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

mark has always been precise about time. instead of saying "i'll be there in a bit.", he’ll say exactly how many minutes it will take him to arrive “i’ll be there in twenty minutes." he would specify the exact time and most of the time, he would be correct.

he hates it when people are late. being late once or twice because of traffic or any other inconvenience isn’t much of an issue to him. mark hates people who are not discipline with time, who doesn't take his words seriously when he asks them to be on time.

you’re not one of those people. you’re a little bit different than he is but still pretty similar. while mark is precise about time and being on time, you prefer being early. you don’t mind waiting because you hate running late. you hate the anxiety of running late. but you like, however, to poke fun at mark for his borderline concerning particularity about time.

the way you do it is you like to purposefully arrive a little later than you said you would. you wouldn't make him wait for too long, that would be cruel, but you would drive him crazy by doing this thing where you copy his method of being super precise about the time of your arrival, down to the minute, and you would always show up around three minutes later.

that wouldn’t even be considered late for most people, but mark is a little insane. it gives you joy to see his irritated face as he checks on his watch to finds that you always just a little late than planned. it's nothing major, but it drives him crazy everytime.

and that's exactly what's happening. mark rested his back against the wall as he checks on his watch for the third time. 17.48 . you said you would be here precisely at 17.45. mark subconsciously pouted before clicking his tongue.

you had kept you words in treating him to a movie night. both of you agreed last minute on watching a portrait of a lady on fire, which mark was thrilled about to find out it was a french movie as he immediately bragged about not needing the subtitles to watch it for he had been studying french for almost a year now. he probably would still need subtitles, though. he just wanted to show off to tease you because you also have an interest of learning french, but never actually follow through, unlike him.

"boo.”

a voice just right beside his ear forced him to turn his head. you stand there, a sheepish smile on your face.

17.53

"you're late." 

you have a teasing look on her face. the one that irritates him the most everytime you do it. "i'm," you paused to look at your phone.  "...eight minutes late it's not a big deal."

"you said exactly a quarter to six. exactly five forty-five."

you broke into laughter at that. "well for the record i got out of my car at five forty-five. the elevator ride took a while, i can't just teleport."

mark rolled his eyes knowing that yoo messing with him on purpose. "whatever, dude. let's buy some popcorn." 

"you bought the tickets already?" you asked as you walk towards the counter.

he nodded. "yeah, we get in at six fifteen."

"sweet. i got here at the perfect time." you gave herself a pat in the shoulder. "ill pay you back by way, i told you it’s my treat."

"perfect my ass, you said you'd be here exactly five forty-five." mark grunted. he then fished his wallet from his back pocket and pulled out some cash. "two medium popcorn and two diet coke, please." he said to the lady at the counter. 

you playfully rolled your eyes knowing you had successfully got under his skin. "eight minutes late, lee. you really have an issue."

"you’re a dick, do you know that? you could've just said you'd be here before six instead of being so specific." 

"okay, fiiine. im sorry, my boy," you cooed, teasing him even more. "should i buy you something as an apology? does markie want some chocolate milk?"

"fuck you." he grunted but quickly straightened his expression once the counter lady walked towards them with two popcorn in hand. mark smiled. "thank you."

you let out a laugh before leading the way towards the theater, mark trailing behind you like a child.

it’s been a while since the both of you watch a movie in the theater together. he forgot how nice it is, to go out with you and have everyone see that he’s the one you’re with. he feels cocky, in a way. he likes to think every one stare at him—or you—whenever the both of you are out and about. he likes to think that people would assume you’re together, and good god he wouldn’t want to be the one to bear the bad news, would he? he likes to think people gets jealous of him, jealous of the fact that he’s the one walking beside you. sometimes he would be bold and throw his arm around your shoulder, or you would link your arm with his as you drag him towards a flea market you found while in an evening stroll. would people look at you and think how good you both look together? does mark need clinical help for being so far in his head? this amount of daydreaming cannot be healthy. sooner or later he wouldn’t be able to differentiate between reality and the made up scenarios in head.

mark likes to think you like going out with him as much as he does. he likes to think you think of him aa an accessory, showing him off to everyone that passes by. mark isn’t entirely made of self deprecation and pity. he knows he’s good looking, he knows he gets attention from the opposite sex without even trying, he’s aware of lingering stares from girls who passes by him. it’s like his intense crush on you has stripped him off of his sanity that he feels no need to pay attention to anyone but you. he remembered one time at a party yuta hosted where he came with you, he got hit on so many times he lost track of count. there’s this one particular girl who almost caught his attention—mark was feeling particularly out of it that night. he couldn’t stop staring at you hitting on girls and getting hit on by guys. girls much hotter than him, guy much much hotter than him. he was so out of it he didn’t even realize he was entertaining this girl. entertaining might be pushing it, really, mark didn’t do much except nodding and humming at everything she was saying. he considers himself very laid back and nonchalant—this came up in a conversation one time and jungwoo almost smacked him in the head saying, “boy, your ass is not nonchalant.”—so he never really did anything to try and pull girls. he just.. stands back and take it. he swore he would’ve taken the said girl home that night had he not seen you walking towards him and asking him to get out of there because the party, in your word, sucked. he ditched that girl like his life depended on it. worst part is that mark didn’t even feel bad about it. oh boohoo the guy you flirted with the whole party ended up not taking you home? grow up.

his lack of empathy for other people concerned him but he was man enough to admit that anything that doesn’t have to do with you truly have no place in his head. he doesn’t know how to this nicely but he couldn’t careless if another girl’s feeling is hurt because he was leading her on. anyone is just a placeholder until you finally decide that you want him.

sometimes this undying crush he possesses made him forgot to value and cherish this friendship he already has. mark sometimes fear he would look back and regret not appreciating what he has with you. he fears he would take all of this for granted just because he’s too caught up in wanting you more.

that’s why mark made sure the moment he sat down inside the movie theater that he would devote his attention to you. cherishing every moment he has because who is he kidding? he already has many chances of doing things he wants with you, going on ‘dates’ like eating out and going to the movies like you guys are doing right now. he wished he can push back his more perverted needs and fantasies aside and just enjoy what he’s already blessed with.

but mark wants more.

of course he does, he always does. that’s why he made his my mind to start dropping hints. he wants—no, he needs you to know that he wants you more than just a friend. he’s wrecking his brain trying to come up with something to subtle to do, but bold enough make you start to look at him in a different light.

in just a mere second, a light bulb lit up inside his head and mark felt like a complete idiot. the opportunity has been in front of him this whole time! he is sitting beside you in a movie theater; how long could it possible take for him to take the chance and just hold your hand? a little too long, actually, but twenty minutes into the movie he finally mustered up the courage to make the move.

he fiddled with his fingers one more time before bringing his left hand to reach over to yours. your right hand was resting on your thigh, pressing onto the armrest that separates the two of you. mark thanked god that it was dark so you couldn’t see his left hand hovering over the armrest, still unsure about grabbing your hand in his. one last breath and he just decided to get it over with.

his hand was slightly bigger than yours, he grabbed it carefully and turned it so your palm is facing him before intertwining his fingers with yours.

it took a second before you curled your fingers back onto his. it took two seconds before you slowly turned your head to look at him, your gaze lingering onto the screen before cranking your neck to the right.

you slightly lowered your head to whisper to him. “what’s wrong?” your voice soft with a hint of confusion and concern. mostly concern.

mark could die right then and there. there’s no turning back now, he had to go through with this.

clearing his throat, mark whispered back. “nothing.”

“are you okay?”

mark nodded, trying so hard to turn his head towards the screen and not stare at your face that’s resting so close. he wanted nothing more than to just grab your chin and slam his lips onto yours so hard it would bleed. he’s getting ahead of himself again.

he could feel you slightly squeezed his hand before you laid your other band on top of his. mark’s left hand is now sandwiched between yours. your tight hand intertwined with his left one, your left hand on top of his. mark could only hope you didn’t notice how sweaty his palms were getting.

“you sure you’re okay?” you asked again. “do you not like the movie?”

mark shook his head almost immediately, turning his head to face you before answering. “i like it.” he stared into your eyes for a good couple seconds. god, he wanted to take you right there. “i’m okay, really.”

he saw you nodding, trying to be satisfied with his answer. he couldn’t be more thankful that you not only worry about him, but also kind enough to not make a big deal about him holding your hand. maybe this was the right thing to do. maybe he can breakthrough the friend zone after all.

mark took a glance at his hand, still in yours. you put your left hand back to where it was, but your right one was still in his. mark could stare at it forever, he wished it wouldn’t be weird for him to take a picture so he can look back on it in his alone time. he wouldn’t jerk off to it, of course not. that would be too weird, even for him.

feeling like he had stared at your hand enough, he lifted his gaze to look at the screen. it was then he realized he was never paying attention to whatever was playing in front of him. he was too focused on trying to make a move on you that he couldn’t even process the movie despite having been staring at the big screen for almost an hour now. it was only when he saw the two women on the big screen making out that he realized it was a sapphic film.

did he seriously just make a move on his gay best friend while watching a movie about lesbians?

he never thought he could be any more pathetic than this. but alas, what’s done is done. the scariest part is over, now he just needs to keep this up until he makes the progress he’s always wanted.

an alarm from your phone went off and startled the both of you. you instinctively withdrew your hand from his grasp to fish your phone out of your back pocket, slightly panicking when the bright screen flashed making your eyes squinted. it seemed like you must’ve forgotten to put your phone on silent. the alarm was on low volume that mark doubted other people heard it, then again the theater was a little empty.

“meds?” he asked.

you nodded with a sheepish grin. “yeah.”

“do you have them with you?” he straightened his body, his back no longer resting on the seat. “shit, we don’t have any water. you can’t take them with coke, can you? i’ll get you some water—“

you cut off his rambling with a chuckle. “mark, it’s fine.”

“no, it’s okay, i can get you water. i’ll be quick.”

you shook your head, still smiling. “it’s fine, i’ll take them after this.”

mark relaxed into his seat again, trying to drop the topic. he nodded, immediately overthinking whether he was overreacting or not. was he too pushy? was he too forward and obvious? you wouldn’t think it’s weird for him to be persistent about you taking meds on time, would you? you’ve always been so good at being on schedule, he even memorized it without having to rely on your alarm. surely you would take it as a friendly gesture, wouldn’t you? how nice of him to want to help his friend to take her meds right on time. that’s what friends are for.

he shook himself off of his thoughts and the exact time to find you staring at him.

he tilted his head, returning your smile. your gaze lowered as mark followed. there laid your right hand with your palm facing him.

mark wasted no time taking your hand in his. the second time felt better than the first time he couldn’t even believe it. he felt you giving him a tiny squeeze before relaxing your body resting your back on the seat, your head slightly tilted to the right just hovering above mark’s shoulder. there are so many things mark finds himself worrying about. so many things he wants to do, so many things he wants to say. but for now the world stops for a bit inside this dark movie theater where your hand fits perfectly in his.

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

taglist: @spiderm444rk

okay purrrr we’re getting somewhere

[partyluvr]

MULIEBRITY, mark lee

in which mark lee falls in love with his bisexual bestfriend.

downbad!mark x fem!reader

status: on going

chapter iv. the girl

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☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

mark’s fingers tap on to the steering wheel as he bop his head to the tune of the song. romanticist by yves tumor was playing; yes, it was playing from one of your spotify playlist. mark genuinely enjoys your music taste as you listen to a little bit of everything, and it wasn't hard for him to find songs that would also fit his taste.

♫  two hearts, i couldnt resist the charms

wasn't right, wandering the streets at night  ♫

once his vehicle slowed down and then stopped at a red light, mark  found himself chuckling at the previous incident. he was at the fine dining he told you about, he was having a nice dinner with his parents as they talk about his study, when halfway through the meal a commotion set in and turned out one of the stove had lit up a flame in the kitchen, resulting into thick smoke immediately accompanying the room. everyone in the restaurant were escorted outside—without having to pay for their meals as a compensation—and so mark and his parents decided to just call it a night. they weren't upset per say, to be fair they were almost done with their food so there wasn't any reason for them to go to another restaurant. 

they parted ways as mark watched his parents drove off in his dad's car, going in the completely different direction as him. the night was still pretty young. 9.12 pm. upon realizing he still had some time before the night ends, his mind immediately wanders to one thing; you.

 ♫ i wanna keep you close right by my side

i swear you got me hypnotized ♫

he could see your apartment building from the corner of his eyes as he took a swift, sharp turn. driving past the security guard in your apartment building had become more familiar then driving past his own apartment complex security. maybe it was because he comes over too often, or maybe its because he finds home in you. 

♫ i wanna give you every piece of me,

you know you are my everything

i wanna dance into your hurricane

blinded by your glare again ♫

walking through the lobby and straight to the elevator, mark then pressed your floor and wait til the elevator door closed. it's all muscle memory at this point. it scared him at how natural this all seems to be. is this how it would be like if he were to move in with you? coming home to her would be everything he ever dreamed of. 

it feels like his feet were moving without him even knowing. muscle memory, that's all it is. step outside of the elevator, take a couple steps forward, turn right, third door. 

before he knows it, he's standing in front of your apartment door. you had offered to give him a spare key considering how often he comes over, but mark declined out of politeness. it would take a great amount of self control to stop himself from letting himself in every night and got into bed with you. he appreciates the offer and is delighted with the fact that you’re so comfortable to give him a spare key, but unfortunately in the midst of his love struck state, he doesn’t trust himself with such luxury. mark swears he wasn’t a creep, but having that big of an access to you would not be good for his morals.

two knocks were enough to notify you of a presence outside your door. a faint coming! was heard from inside. in the split second of waiting for the door to be opened, mark mentally cursed at himself for coming empty handed. not that its mandatory, but he should at least bring some snacks; its a friday night after all.

the front of his hair were blown by the slight wind coming from the door being opened. there stood a girl much shorter than him, tilting her head to the side as if she's trying to figure out who he was.

"who is it— mark?" you walked approaching the door and stood just behind the girl whose identity mark has yet to discover. he should put the two and two together, seeing as the girl wearing a cardigan that he immediately recognize as yours.

mark stood awkwardly for a second.

"aren't you supposed to be at dinner with your parents?" you asked. mark noticed her hand was loosely hugging the waist of the girl who answered the door. 

he blinked. "uh, there was a fire."

"what? are you okay?"

mark could’ve sworn he saw your arm dropped from what’s-her-face waist as you slightly move a step towards him.

"no, i mean," why was he acting like this? this isn't the first time he had seen you with a girl or a guy before. is it the fact that the girl looks nothing like the ones you usually hooks up with? or is it because her height is perfect for her to lean her head on your shoulder? "the restaurant we were eating at. uh, the kitchen caught on a small fire. it's fine, but yeah we left... early."

you nodded, finally understanding what he meant. he took notes at how your face immediately showed concern after the mention of a fire. you care, of course you do.

“you scared me.” you sighed of relief. “i’m glad you’re okay,”

mark nodded, his gaze lowered slowly. this is awkward, isn’t it? clearly, you weren’t going to let him in. were you too afraid to ask him to go?

"oh, mark, this is hana." your voice broke him out of his trance. "hana, this is mark lee, my best friend."

is he supposed to shake her hand? he probably should, shouldn’t he? but how could he when he was too busy thinking of how close you and hana were standing to one another. 

"nice to meet you, im mark." how weird he must’ve looked just standing there like a freak.

hana warmly smiled and extended a hand. "nice to meet you too, mark. im hana."

he briefly shook her hand, nodded, then looked down glancing at his feet.

"come on in, mark" you invited him but his feet never felt heavier. he feels like a burden, like he's interrupting you.

it was as if hana can sense his timidness, she spoke up again. "im leaving, by the way." she smiled again, slyly winking at him as if she's trying to ease the tension.

she's being sweet. he's only met her for roughly two minutes and she's so sweet. she's so sweet and he hates it. he hates how he understands why you would take a liking on her. why couldnt she just be a bitch to him? maybe then you would defend him and never speak to her again.

"it was really nice meeting you, mark. you can have her all to yourself now." she giggled as she elbowed you, who smiled and rolled her eyes playfully in response. 

"i’ll walk you out." 

hana shook her head. "no, your friend is here."

you eyed him before giving her signature downward smile. "he can make himself at home, right, lee?"

mark did nothing but nod. 

"no, hun, its only four floors down. you dont have to walk me out."

hun. hun. mark wanted to puke.

"its late, i insist." 

"your friend is here. stop."

"i’ll stop once i walk you out."

"stoop~"

mark wanted nothing but to bang his head on the table. he feels like he shouldnt be here in the first place. is it too late to sprint to his car and just drive back home? he’d run some red lights just to escape all of this.

"okay, okay." you smiled, surrendering as hana playfully pouted at her. "text me when you get to your car and text me again as soon as you get home."

"yes sir!" hana made a salute gesture. why does she have to be so cute? should he start acting like that?

you scrunched your nose at the girl in front of you, smile never leaving your face. mark wonders is that how you looks whenever you’re with him. do you smile and feel warm inside whenever you’re with him? does he bring you joy?

"oh!" hana exclaimed. "your cardigan."

you waved your hand, stopping the shorter girl from taking off the cardigan. "you can keep it."

was hana only wearing a slip dress to your house? mark is not one to slut shame, but he now feels as if he needs to act bolder than these girls in order to compete with them. 

hana smiled as blood crept up her cheeks. "thank you." she said, hugging the cardigan to her figure.

it was a thick, black cardigan that you usually wear to the grocery store. mark immediately recognize it as your cardigan cause he remembers clearly one of the button was missing. it looks good on you. granted you look good in anything but that one particular cardigan fits you perfectly. 

and now its being worn by another girl. it falls just above your butt when you wear it, but given the fact that hana is a lot shorter, it now falls just in the middle of her thigh.

guys like it when their clothes look big on their girlfriends, dont they? so it must mean you like the way your cardigan looks on hana. 

would you like the way your clothes fit on him? he's around the same height as you, so it wouldnt make that much of a difference. if he were to wear one of your hoodies, it would just look like any other hoodie. it wouldnt fall down his thigh and the sleeves wouldnt be too long. 

"im heading out, then!" hana announced. hugging her bag, she smiled before turning to mark. "it was nice meeting you, mark." 

her bubbly and warm personality was making him sick. he hates himself for being so insecure, but he hates himself even more for knowing how likeable hana is. of course you would like her.

mark is confident that he knows what kind of person you would date. if its a girl, she'd most likely have such an alluring sex appeal. if its a guy, he'd be much older—at the very least in their mid thirties. you’re into women who put themselves out there and you’re into men who are reserved, older, and has it all together. mark was neither of those.

but neither was hana.

hana was lovely. she doesnt look like the type of girl who would hang out regularly at a night club, who’s into casual sex and come home to people's apartment to hook up. hana’s voice was sweet and not anywhere near seductive, she wears a loose slip dress instead of a body fit ones, she wears lip tint instead of a red lipstick. 

she's not your type. so what is it about her that makes you go out of her way to be so interested in her despite her being nowhere near your type? maybe mark should take your word when you said you have no type.

"so," he began. he sat down on her couch as you closed the door and walked back inside. "hana, huh?"

your downward smile was present once again. "yeah."

"she's lovely."

you chuckled, smilling to yourself. "she is."

"wait, she was the one you hooked up with last time, right?"

"damn lee, you're keeping track?" she teased.

mark rolled his eyes. of course he's keeping tracks, he was waiting for the day he would make it to the list. 

"was she... planning on staying the night?" he mentally scolded himself for asking such questions. ignorance is bliss and he knows that.

"she was, actually," you answered whilst opening your fridge, searching for something to eat. "until your dumb ass came over."

your tone was playful, and he knows you were just teasing him. he knows you have no problem with him coming over unannounced. he knows he comes first before your flings. he knows you were just being funny, but why was he feeling so defensive?

"sorry for ruining your plan. guess i’m not welcomed here anymore."

you furrowed her eyebrows and turned to him. "mark, i was kidding.” you tilted your head at him. “you good?”

he looked down to his feet, embarrassed for acting like a child. "sorry. long day."

"your folks bothering you about your study?"

"uh, yeah." he lied through his teeth. his parents are supportive of his study and his future career choice—or lack there of. they would ask about his plan after graduation like most parents do, but they never put ant pressure on him that would make him want to retaliate. his parents are pretty well off and they give him full freedom of his academic choices. mark is grateful to have been born into a family has enough money for them to prioritize his needs above all else.

he felt bad for using his parents as an excuse for his ridiculous behavior, but surely he was not to admit he was jealous of the mere existence of hana.

"sorry to hear that, bub." you said, softly ruffling his hear as you sat down next to him. "obviously you have every right to feel upset. i hope i don’t cross the line by saying this but i know your parents and i know they never mean any harm."

you were so sweet, offering comfort to his made up problems. you always knows the right thing to say whenever he'd feeling down and its making him feel bad for lying to her face. "thank you.”

"anytime," you ruffled his hair once again. "by the way, you know you can come to my place anytime, right? i dont give a fuck if i have someone over."

"i know that," he weakly smiled. "thanks again."

"come here," you opened your arms. "you look like you need a hug."

mark lunched forward without thinking twice, relaxing himself in your embrace. youre not embracing him for the reasons he wants you to, but he was in your arms regardless, so he wouldn’t complain much.

you give the best hugs. you never let go first and he doesnt mind since he never wants to let go. you’re not a very touchy person, especially not for sentimental reasons. so when you would offer him hugs to make him feel better everytime he's feeling upset, god knows he never wants to let go.

after the best two minutes of his whole week, mark withdrew from your embrace. "thank you." he doesnt know what hes thanking you for, but he is thankful for you. "for everything."

"of course, my boy." you cooed. oh how he loves your pet names for him. you’re always a little more affectionate whenever you realize he's feeling down. you would use endearment terms instead of calling him 'dude', 'bro', 'man', and any other manly nicknames. 

you wouldnt consider yourself so much of an empath, but mark would disagree and say that you’re really good at putting yourself in other peoples shoes in order to fully understand their situation. youre just not very good at pep talk, and mark is okay with that. your presence is more than enough for him. it sounds pathetic, but he has no dignity left in his being to admit that. 

"tell you what," you began, catching his attention as he now lifted his head up to look at you. "lets go to the movies this sunday. my treat."

mark smiled. "sure, what's playing?"

to that she shrugged. "dont know. but it doesnt matter.”

"what do you mean it doesnt matter? we’re going to the movies, of course it matters what’s playing."

"that's where you're wrong." you shook her head. "it’s the companion that matters, not the movie."

he rolled his eyes playfully. "remind me to go alone tomorrow then."

"tough crowd." you snickered. "but for real, my treat. dinners on you, though. or else we're having whatever the fuck i have left on my fridge.

"fine. why do i feel like you’re paying for the tickets just so i’d pay for dinner?" he pretended to protest when in reality he has no problem paying for both tickets and dinner. his parents give him enough allowance for that. technically, his parents gave him enough allowance for him to take you out on a nice dinner. if you ever wanted to, that is.

"only if you put it like that."

he rolled his eyes once again. "unfair."

"what, you wanna pay for gas as well? be my guest."

"you're a nightmare."

you burst into laughter. "only for you, baby."

mark rolled his eyes.

you opened your mouth again. "you look good in my suit.”

mark noticed you eyeing him up and down. he suddenly felt self conscious under your stare. are you checking him out? should he feel flattered?

in his lovestruck state, it seems as though he forgot how friendship works. he interprets everything you do as a sign, a sign that he should pursue this. whatever this is.

"oh, yeah,” he cleared his throat, trying to come off as if he wasn’t shitting himself daydreaming about you checking him out. “i’ll give it back to you after i wash it."

you clicked her tongue. "why are you acting like a stranger? just put it on the floor. ill wash it tomorrow. go and find something to wear in my closet."

mark didn’t even realize how tense he was. he didn’t know how his crush got so intense that he forgot how easy everything is with you.

"you're the best, dude." he grinned at you who winked at him in return.

"i know i am."

the rest of the night was spent with leaving the tv on as the both of you paid no attention to it and talk about everything and then some. 

mark is grateful for you. he's not satisfied with only being your friend, but he's trying his best to take what he can get. he doesnt want to think about hana when hes spending time with you. he doesnt wanna waste his time worrying about another girl that might take you away from him. he can worry about that any other time.

but for now, mark is having the time of his life being in the same room as the love of his life.

☆*:.｡.｡.:*☆

taglist: @spiderm444rk

i promise you guys are getting some actions in a bit TRUSTTT

[partyluvr]

waittttt why am i actually so excited about posting fics on here