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There's this one quote by Richard Silken that discusses the absolute hilarity of human emotions I always think about. That one day, some day, you will fall to the floor crying. It is an inevitable truth. And when you will hit the ground you will think of the ridiculous over the top nature of the whole scene. That “I have fallen on the floor crying,” of the kitchen, the bathroom, the laundry room. And the worst part is, in a moment of clarity, you will see your mediocre paint job that lines the wall’s rims. Is it a metaphor for the imperfect nature of human relations? That what once was viewed as perfect has been discovered to be flawed due to human touch. Or is it to point that we are so simple, that in a crazy overwhelming situation one can become grounded again. To where it is a small fact that this too will just be a haphazard paint job along the floor of your life.  

Maybe on the way home, after watching Wall-E at a friend's place, I had (yet again) another moment of that same mundane existentialism. Where you finally realize that what once consumed you is passing you by. That something you tried to grip liquified in your grasp. The anxiety of the situation, the closure you once tried so hard to avoid, tunneled towards you at full speed. Landing on you while you biked home from the train at 11pm at night. Almost as if a scene in a movie started without your consent, Elliot Smith starts blaring through the background as you pedal.

And then you start crying. And then you think to yourself “why is it always on bikes.” And then it starts raining. And then you start laughing.

Now you're a crazy woman biking past your home to feel alive a little longer. And then the moment comes, you see a cat staring at you in the dark. Its eyes locked on you. You pull off to the side of the road and park. Even though the drizzle of rain is still there, and the darkness frightens you a bit, you hop off the saddle. And the moment you start to walk forward, it rushes off with its little legs pattering in the rain. You think about this moment of total rejection, this instance where you think the universe would allow you some comfort in this ridiculous moment. The falling to the floor crying moment. Met with utter disappointment, it's laughable. All you can do is laugh. All you can do is bike home.  

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roman roy / fantastic mr. fox

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Susanna Kaysen, Girl, Interrupted

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that james baldwin quote where he says, “it took many years of vomiting up all the filth i’d been taught about myself, and half-believed, before i was able to walk on the earth as though i had a right to be here.”

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you think you’re waiting for love to find you when in reality it has saved you in a thousand different ways since the sun rose today

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i love you, it looks like rain, June Gehringer

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Charles Bukowski, "hurry slowly," from Come On In!

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Isabel Allende, The House of the Spirits

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“Everything is burning, my soul, body, outside, inside, heart, flesh. Do you understand? Do you really understand?”

María Casares, from a letter to Albert Camus written c. March 1952

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summer of indulgences. takeout for dinner two nights in a row. glass after glass of cold peach juice. scratching mosquito bites for the sensuous pleasure of it. climbing past the point of my fingers giving out. taking the long way home. gently pressing the bruises on my heart just to feel the twinge

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@rbhvleo // roberto ferri // mothering by ainslie hogarth // rainer maria rilke // ? // planet of love by richard siken // a self portrait in letters by anne sexton // indian summer by ron hicks

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RAYMOND PETTIBON NO TITLE (VALENTINES YOU YOU),2005 - 2011 pen, ink,acrylic and collage on paper 17 x 17 inches

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What goes too long unchanged destroys itself. The forest is forever because it dies and dies and so lives.

—Tales From Earthsea: Dragonfly, by Ursula Le Guin

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the hungers of hadewijch and eckhart, donald f. duclow // stigmata: escaping texts, hélène cixous // you are in a hotel room, joan tierney // the notebooks of malte laurids brigge, rainer maria rilke // great expectations, kathy acker // hot-hand fallacy, jasmine gibson // erotism: death and sensuality, georges bataille // cain, josé saramago // love in the time of monsters, emily palermo // a curious night for a double eclipse, j. karl bogartte.

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Chungking Express 重慶森林 (1994) dir. Wong Kar Wai

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In the Mood for Love (Wong Kar-wai, 2000, Hong Kong)

Bonnie Chen & Daisuke Ueda by Patric Shaw

Xiao Wen Ju by Leslie Zhang