pasarellla

[pasarellla]

enemies to lovers pipeline but make filipino fantasy

ADAMUS x DEIA

ENCANTADIA CHRONICLES: SANG'GRE

[pasarellla]

07.09.25

Putting it here: everything works out for me. The universe is always on my side.

I may have my doubts but I KNOW things are always working in my favor.

The universe always surprises me with all the good things I deserve in life.

Here's my miracle. It will all work out, self.

This is just a moment of weakness and nothing more.

My demons may whisper but my will is stronger.

[pasarellla]

07.07.25

It is time to hurdle the mock bar.

I am anxious.

I am scared.

But I believe in myself; I believe the work I put in for the last three years; I believe in the feat I pulled time and time again.

I won't pressure myself to insanity. I will fight and it will be enough.

Could I have done better? No. I literally tried my best the past two weeks but there is no reward for bringing yourself to oblivion through exhaustion. We make do with what we have.

I can't bear to regret spending those seven days with my family.

I will make it surpass with flying colors tomorrow until July 14.

I will make it through. I will finish strong.

This will not break me.

My demons may whisper but my will is stronger.

Watch me conquer this one.

[pasarellla]

[pasarellla]

I mean, even if I could ... everlasting life? I image it would be kind of lonely. Well, maybe if you had someone to share it with. Someone you love. Maybe then it might be different. STARDUST (2007) dir. Matthew Vaughn

[pasarellla]

Stardust (2007) Dir. Matthew Vaughn

[pasarellla]

Stardust (2007) dir. Matthew Vaughn

[pasarellla]

02.04.2025

Ask and you shall receive.

Manifesting is real. She did leave before the sun rose on 01 April 2025.

I finally have peace and serenity. I am calm. And now we are back to our focus.

We build from experience from this moment forward. I am so excited to start this new chapter in my life.

The drought of March comes to an end. Here comes the rain showers of April. Abundance is on the way. And I am so ecstatic to what this month has in store.

To my literal other half, Pau, you have my heart. You are the only reason I was able to withstand the wrath and agony of being with that pig.

Two goods things that happened because of her attitude:

1. I met Chay who I believe is my sister in another lifetime; and

2. It brought me closer to Pau who is literally a part of me, I didn't even know we could possibly be closer than before.

Pau, mahal na mahal kita; saksi ang karagatan, lupa, at himpapawid; kaya kong tawirin lahat, gawin lahat, harapin ang lahat kasi alam kong kasama kita; katuwang kita.

Even if the start of April had me second guessing, how this day (01.04.25) played out showed to me that it's all about perspective. It's all about surrounding yourself with people that you love to make it better.

I am in a good place now. She is finally out of my life. Wish granted. Now we move forward and we finish strong.

I love you, KD.

My demons may whisper but my will is stronger.

[pasarellla]

30.03.2025

Every time I feel low, there's a family event right around the corner to raise my spirits up. This was God and the universe telling me I'll be okay and everything will work in my favor.

Tomorrow, we can settle the liquidation and I will finally, finally be rid of her.

Whatever happens, everything will work out for me. I will get the fridge and the table, like I always manifested from the very beginning.

From the drought of March comes the rain showers of April.

Abundance is coming. It is a process.

My demons may whisper but my will is stronger.

[pasarellla]

28.03.2025

02:00 AM HITS

I only remember the pain; the sting of betrayal; and the agony of trying to be your friend.

We can never go back and i'm so fucking frustrated that I devoted my time to you. I'm so fucking annoyed that you said all the shit about me behind my back and you still expect us to be friends.

When will you leave? Rid me of your presence. I need you gone from my life. You need to go.

For my peace and yours, leave. Leave this apartment. Leave every aspect of my life and I'll stay sane in mine.

[pasarellla]

27.03.25

The circumstances may change but the goal stays the same.

I got a low mark, just one point off the passing score. This isn't the first time, I've experienced much abysmal scores and came out strong. I guess I'm just affected because I now know how much she got to me; how emotional she made me to stoop down to her level and to an extent let my focus slip. Maybe this was needed to wake me up; step up my game.

I am sad. It's down right fucking depressing to find such scores in my life. This happens during a season where I don't even know what to feel with all the sadness surrounding me. Every night I want to cry and I don't even know the reason why. I want to break down. I want to let go. I want to scream. I want to be a horrible person.

I am desperate for a hug, a pat, a friendly get together.

Maybe a lover to make it better.

But I know deep in my heart, the sadness just stays there; making a home in my soul. It will take some time before he leaves. I am enlisted in God's strongest soldiers the first half of the year and that's okay. I will come out stronger.

This will still be my highest GWA yet. A setback won't control me. And it certainly won't make me doubt myself. I just need time to feel the sadness and dwell with the pain because no matter what happens, I got me. I will be here to defend, protect, and take care of myself.

I will be okay. It will be a long difficult road. I have 2 months left. 2 months to make the most out of this semester.

This subject won't break me. I will get a line of 9 score for my finals in Comm 2, just you wait.

Watch out, Atty. R, you haven't seen the best of my yet.

My demons may whisper but my drive is stronger.

[pasarellla]

25.03.2025

Big day ahead for me. This is a day of showing to myself that I am worth it. I am worthy to be a part of the program. I already am, they just need to hear my voice and see the person written on paper.

This written exam and interview will be my testament to myself that I can and will thrive in situations that I struggle in. Everything will go according to plan. Everything will work out for me.

It is written in the stars, I am a part of this program. I am capable of so many things and my detractors can do nothing about it. You got this, self.

Make yourself proud. Make your parents proud. This is the first law of the seven laws of 2025. This is the first breakthrough.

Everybody who loves you, believes in you. Things are different now because you believe in yourself.

We are so different from who we were back in 2018 and back in 2022. The universe ALWAYS works in our favor. This one is made for us.

Your name is already written in the acceptance post in bold ink. Claim it.

My demons may whisper but my will is stronger.

[pasarellla]

“The prettier the garden, the dirtier the hands of the gardener.”

— B. E. Barnes, Put in work.

[pasarellla]

“Whatever you do, never run back to what broke you. Live in the present and make it beautiful.”

— Unknown

[pasarellla]

14.03.2025

I want to be relieved of the pain and the anger. I want revenge. I want to scream and tell you every single thing I did and keep on doing for you. I am so mad that you treat me like shit.

Even when I'm studying, I remember what you did to me; the humiliation; the disrespect. I keep playing imaginary conversations with you and telling you off. I'm the only one who ends up exhausted. I want you gone from my life.

I will let you win every conversation. I will let you win every battle. I just want my peace back.

The moment the last of your things leave this apartment, I will delete your presence in every single aspect of my life that I have a say on.

I will never forget the mental and emotional turmoil you put me through. I will never forget how horrible you are as a friend; how you do not care who you hurt or how you hurt people when you're in pain. When I look back in the almost 3 years we spent together, I will only remember is the pain you caused me before and especially this year. I cannot believed I loved you.

The sting of your behavior is nothing compared to the things you said about me.

May you get everything that you deserve in life.

The next time you'll hear news from me is when you see the product of my grit. I will keep on winning. I will nurture every single pain you've caused and use it as fuel to be better. I have done it before, I can do it again. Thank you for motivating me.

I won't make our friends choose. But I'll choose myself this time. You aren't worth it. I regret adjusting myself for you. I regret being your friend.

If anyone asks, I'll tell them I know of you. And you were once, my friend.

In my heart, I know I've forgiven you. But I cannot bare through being your friend anymore. Our friends won't understand because you haven't disrespected them the way you did with me. But I mourn the days where I tolerated your shit when I wasn't obligated to.

This is the last time. This is part of the purge.

Before April, you will be out of this apartment and gone from my reality; a reality I create.

I am stronger that what you put me through. My demons may whisper but my will is stronger.

[pasarellla]

16.02.2025

happy happy birthday to my beautiful mom! i can't imagine any day without you. i'm sorry it took so long for me to appreciate you 😭

i can't believe i almost ruined the day thinking of my pathetic roommate. as the saying goes, misery loves company. if you're sad, don't take me down with you. you have to go through anaphylactic shock to get a reaction out of me. just because you're sad and you have problems does not mean you can take them out on me. i've had difficulties drawing boundaries but for once, i will. i have to suffer through four months and a half left before i finally kick you out of my life.

let it be known that i will get the apartment. you will be out of the apartment by the third week of june. i will be determined to kick you out because by then i cannot afford to deal with your shit.

let the universe know: you will not bring me down. you are just one of the many distractions that i will ignore. thank you for being annoying, obnoxious, and fake. because of that, watch me annoy you even more.

deep down, maybe you are jealous of me. who knows? but all you need to know is, i do not care about what you do with your life. if you have problems about it, that's all on you.

i won't burn this bridge but i won't use it either.

as for today, i had the time of my life spending time with my family, making wishes in church, taking enormous amounts of photos, and sleeping in the car. the best sunday everrrr 🤍✨

my five laws for 2025. i can't wait for you to come true.

[pasarellla]

29.01.2025

Happy Chinese New Year!!

But my mom and I celebrated it in church today. I lighted 6 candles below for the six times I was and am granted my scholarship and 7 candles at the top for the 7 current subjects I am facing this semester.

Ironically, it's just this week that we'd find out about our grades. I'm still nervous as hell and still hopeful as an angel truly, but I trust in the work I put in. I know what I fought for last semester.

I am only praying that I get that spark back this semester. Especially that drive, I've just been so drained last semester that's it's still hard to recover. But I've accomplished so much already this January, which is a good sign.

2025 is truly the year of breakthroughs for me.

I just need a little time to adjust to my desk set up and all will be well.

Today was so fun, getting to hangout with my mom. We went to church and then ate at our favorite Chinese fastfood restaurant. I bought my favorite fruits and a new pair of earrings. One vendor got mad that I didn't buy anything from him but oh well. Finally, me and my mom went thrift shopping for clothes I could wear as my uniform to school and an old but sturdy pair of converse Jack Purcell (i am so good at thrift shopping for shoes/sneakers).

Tomorrow we'll be even more fulfilling. Hence, I am gonna go to bed early to ace my studying tomorrow. Good night!!