pastabitch

[pastabitch]

If an alien race were the same size as these octopi, the females would be 6.6ft (2m) in height, and their males would only be 2.4cm tall.

Imagine seeing what you think is your alien comrade sitting alone with dinner, only to see a tiny figure dart across the table like a bug. It scurries up her arm and seems to plant a little kiss on her cheek. 

Surprise, she’s having dinner with her husband!

[pastabitch]

[pastabitch]

[pastabitch]

wow i just cant take this anymore *continues to take it*

[pastabitch]

Imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 a minute

[pastabitch]

[pastabitch]

what's your problem?

my problem is me

[pastabitch]

Christian said

[pastabitch]

hozier singing about bones, dead bodies, preys, predators, decomposing, satanic sacrifice, oral sex:

me and the girls:

[pastabitch]

[pastabitch]

[pastabitch]

would you woohoo me on sims yes or no

[pastabitch]

Sorry if you hear cowboy noises coming from my room I’m practicing being a cowboy

[pastabitch]

[pastabitch]

[pastabitch]