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[pastaplatypus]

🌹 a flower for everyone not feeling their best today

[pastaplatypus]

i yearn for a spinoff fic where it's this universe where it's just sirius raising harry in the Wild West... i love this characterization so much it's so good <3

Universe 284c: Wild Wild West

“Pa’s acting real strange,” Harry confesses on their walk to the schoolhouse.

“How so?” he asks as neutrally as possible.

“All friendly-like, inviting you to stay with us. I’m not complainin’, Mr. Lupin; it’s just not like him. And he seems real confused out on the ranch. Pig is doing his best, but he’s acting like he’s never ridden a horse before!”

Remus hums. “That is strange.” Perhaps he let his paranoia get the better of him, and none of this has anything to do with him at all. The saloon girl had mentioned Black’s head getting slammed on the bar—could he be concussed? He should monitor him for more serious symptoms.

“And then there’s letting me go to school,” Harry continues. “Pa always said school was good for nothin’ but indoctrinating kids to become mindless, obedient sheep.”  

He gives a rueful chuckle. It's not an entirely unfair conclusion, especially given what he's heard of his predecessors. 

“Ron says you’re different from the other teachers though.”

“I do my best to teach my students to think for themselves.”

“And he says you never use a paddle on no one.”

The thought of it makes him wince. “No, I don’t.”

“That’s good.” Harry nods to himself. “Pa doesn’t like unnecessary violence. Says the best cowboys are kind to their animals.”

Would eliminating a threat to the town’s livestock count as ‘unnecessary violence,’ Remus wonders.

[pastaplatypus]

friendly reminder that “kudos” means “glory” in ancient greek, so if you give someone kudos you are wishing them renown on the battlefield

[pastaplatypus]

going to the grocery store when youre 20 makes your receipt look like this:

item 1                            1.94

item 2                            1.94

item 3                            0.50

item 4                            0.32

item 5                            1.00

item 6                            1.00

item 7                            0.72

item 8                            0.69

item 9                            2.00

item 10                          5.87

item 11                          1.00

item 12                          1.36

subtotal:                                 18.34

[pastaplatypus]

hey babe your tone seemed off in your latest ominous message scrawled in blood on the wall are you mad at me?

[pastaplatypus]

Sirius who tinkers

[pastaplatypus]

I love the fact that Show Stopping Number is included in Inevitable. Because when Hidgens first sang it, he was still totally human, which means that Pokey liked the song so much he was like "Yeah you know what I'm gonna get this in there, it was a banger and it will definitely make Emma lose her mind!" and I love him for that.

[pastaplatypus]

if somebody held their arms out to me and softly told me “c’mere” i would simply break down

[pastaplatypus]

i love characters who could get the absolute Shit kicked out of them and still be fine but as soon as someone touches/handles them gently it’s like “ah. im going to shatter to pieces now thanks”

[pastaplatypus]

every genius who thinks mandatory two-factor authentication is a good idea should be forced to do tech support for a public library that serves a lot of elderly poor people

[pastaplatypus]

I would appreciate reblogs for sample size <3

[pastaplatypus]

I don't want to make ““doctor’s appointments””and ““schedule a follow up.”” I want to be coaxed gently into a crate and taken to the vet.

[pastaplatypus]

i cannot put into words how much i adore this song it is perfection from start to finish

do they speak to you?

'Cause they speak to me, too

The pressure and the panic

You push your body through

Something's coming, so out of breath

I just kept spinning and I danced myself to death

Something's coming, so out of breath

I just kept spinning and I danced myself to death

You said that rock and roll is dead

But is that just because it has not been resurrected in your image?

Like if Jesus came back, but in a beautiful dress

And all the evangelicals were like, "Oh, yes"

[pastaplatypus]

hear me out….

cruel prince au! with sirius and remus.

[pastaplatypus]

the problem with being creative is that you start to feel very guilty when you haven’t created anything in a while

[pastaplatypus]

I Have Found A Solution!

So, obviously classic wizard robes aren’t wheelchair friendly. (Alright, admittedly this isn’t common knowledge and also this definitely isn’t a problem for most but listen, this is a problem for me and I’m pleased to present a solution for it nonetheless.)

The issue is in the sleeves and the length of the robes. The traditional trumpet style allows them to get snagged, dirty, and caught in the wheels.

This is distinctly not an issue with other mobility aids such as canes and crutches, these wizards are fine to carry on with their trumpet sleeves simply rolled up if needed.

Now, one solution might simply to shorten the sleeves and hem to be out of the way, but that looks rather silly so I won’t do that. Instead I propose the more elegant design of a hanging sleeve to maintain that flowy magical feel while allowing for better range of motion.

Honestly I just love the look of hanging sleeves in general and think more people should appreciate them, wheelchair user or not.

In conclusion…

[pastaplatypus]

One thing that constantly baffles me about dumb fanon Sirius is that people seem to think he’d be unemployed if he had lived a normal life and would just lounge around doing nothing but relying on Alphard’s money well into adulthood…like Sirius is one of the few characters who just can’t sit still and do nothing? He gets easily bored? This goes especially for people who think Sirius’s greatest ambition is to be a model. His looks are something he never explicitly cares about ever. And Im not just talking about OotP Sirius, Sirius in general is at his absolute best when he’s interested in something, working, and not just sitting around. He was top of his class at Hogwarts…became an animagus as a side project…created a flying motorcycle…this man just couldn’t sit around he CREATES something to care about if there’s nothing there, Sirius is proactive.

I completely agree Anon.

While I think he would chafe under a 9-to-5, he would not be unemployed or idle.

He also doesn't give a fuck about his looks- it's the first thing he neglects when he's not feeling his best and he is never described as preening or vain. The 'casual elegance' description implies that there's is a carelessness to it- he just happens to look great.

Sirius is such a man of action. The instant he hears of Harry's scar twinging he jumps on Buckbeak and comes back to England. He is relentless in his persuit of Peter in PoA, he is not Idle in the slightest. If anything he seems to have an excess of energy.