pasteldreams

[pasteldreams]

HE LIVES ????

I LIVE ????

(i need him.)

stuck with u - c.s.

takes place after this

cw: smut, angst, chris being toxic, p!link

wc: 2.8k

part of the toxic!fwb!chris series

he’s here again, just like you knew he would be.

he blows you off, hurts you more than you ever thought he’d be able to and then once you’re ready to walk away, he comes crawling back and begs for forgiveness, tells you that he just needs a little more time to figure things out.

it never made sense to you. you were under the impression you’d both stopped sleeping with other people, you spent time together without sex being involved and he did things for you that he never used to do before he knew how you felt.

he’d rub your feet after a long day at work, hold you close when your emotions got the best of you, even make you food to the best of his abilities if you were too lazy to get up.

why wouldn’t he just bite the bullet and tell you how he feels, too? part of you desperately hoped that things would change this time, that this would be the moment that he finally gets the balls to admit what you both know is true.

sure, you had your issues, your own toxic traits like sleeping around when things got hard, looking for comfort in a man when you couldn’t face reality, deflecting when you couldn’t win an argument, acting like you could never be wrong. all of this extended so far past chris, it seeped into your every day life, relationships that meant even more to you than this one, but being around him felt like maybe it would be worth it to try and not be so bitter, so awful.

chris texts you to tell you he’s arrived and you’re at your door in the next ten seconds, pulling it open to reveal him on the other side.

you’re beyond shocked when you see a bouquet of flowers in his hand, your favorites, held out as he grinned sheepishly. “hi,” he says, stepping into the threshold. “hi…” you answer breathlessly as you watch him come closer.

he looked good, exactly how he knew you liked him. baggy, blue jeans, knees ripped up slightly, dirty air force ones on his feet, black hoodie zipped up halfway on top of a black t-shirt and a snapback flipped around on his head, curly hair peeking out the bottom.

he steps into your apartment and immediately presses his lips to your cheek, letting them linger while his hand pushed the door shut behind him. “i’m sorry,” he whispers against your skin, wrapping his arms around you, bouquet resting against your back.

you sigh, wanting to melt into him but needing to hold your ground. “for what?” you ask, stepping out of his grasp to turn and walk away, heading to your bedroom to curl up in bed while he inevitably tried to save things again.

chris follows you, setting the flowers down on your table as he passes it. when you guys get into the bedroom, he looks around, noticing that it looked slightly more disheveled than it usually did. “for last night,” he says like it’s obvious, watching you move to sit on the edge of the bed. “for ditching you when i said i’d be there. i don’t mean to make you feel like you’re not important.”

here he goes, his typical spiel when it comes to gluing things back together. you stare up at him, expression blank. you’re exhausted, all the back and forth finally catching up with you. you didn’t understand how he wasn’t tired of all of this, too.

“chris,” you sigh, shaking your head as you scratch at your scalp, messy bun wobbling with your actions. “i think it might be time we call this.”

he looks taken aback, head pulling back slightly in shock. “what are you talking about?” he asks, coming closer until he can sit next to you in bed. “why would we do that?”

you don’t want to look at him but his presence is so demanding any time he’s around you that it’s like your eyes are just drawn to him, your body turning to face his. “because it’s exhausting, chris. i can’t keep doing this and acting like it doesn’t fucking suck. you act like my boyfriend and then turn around and do some shit that fucks me up so bad i feel like i’m crazy! i let my guard down and then you do some shit like go hang out with girls you don’t even know when you’re supposed to be with me.”

“i didn’t know there were gonna be more girls there,” chris groans, knowing exactly what this was about to turn into. but you didn’t want an argument, you just wanted to be done. “come on, it’s not like i did anything with them.”

you stare at chris, not quite believing him and he senses this. “you were drunk around girls and you didn’t do anything?” you ask him, raising your eyebrows slightly, tone flat. “would matt say the same thing?”

“yes,” chris says instantly and his answer shocks you. he sounded so confident that matt would corroborate his story. “i thought about you the whole fucking night. i felt terrible. i was sitting in the corner of the room by myself texting you, trying to call you, waiting for you to just text me back.”

his hand comes out to rest on your thigh that faced him and you knew you should’ve pushed him off, but something about the way he spoke to you had you believing him, a mistake you seemed to make every time you found yourself in this position.

“chris-“ you start, but he interrupts you, turning his body to face yours as well. “i know you don’t believe me, but you can ask him. you know matt would never lie to you.” he sighs, seemingly distressed.

you’ve never seen him like this, this worried. “you know how hard all of this is for me but i’m trying,” chris continues, his other hand coming out to grab one of yours. “i’m trying. i want… fuck, i don’t know. i want you in a way i’ve never wanted anybody else before and that scares me. i’m used to fucking things up, ruining anything good that happens to me but i talk about you all the time, even when i don’t realize i’m doing it. you’re constantly on my mind.”

you stare at him, your eyes searching his for a thread of honesty, and it terrified you how truthful and remorseful he looked. “chris…” you sigh again, and once more he scoots closer, tightening his grip on your thigh. “i can’t do this-“

“stop,” he interrupts, dropping your hand from his to reach up and tuck a fallen piece of hair behind your ear, wanting to take in your full appearance no matter how disheveled you seemed. “you don’t mean that, you’re just mad at me. listen when i tell you that i’m sorry and it won’t happen again.”

“but it will happen again!” you huff as you push his hand away from your face. “that’s the problem. it’ll always happen again with you and i’m sick of it. all this back and forth, all these emotions that come with being around you, it’s exhausting. i never know what version of you i’m going to get, and sure, it’s been a lot better recently but for what? you’re never gonna be my boyfriend, so why waste my time falling for you more and more when you’re just gonna run off some day?”

chris seems taken aback at your words, his hand that rubbed over your skin pausing for a few moments as he thought of what to say. “why… why do we have to label anything? we enjoy being around each other, we’re not sleeping with anybody else, can’t you just give me time to figure out what it is that i want?”

you sigh, expecting nothing more than to hear him say those words. time. that’s all he ever asked for was time. “i’ve given you time,” you say quietly, defeated. “i’m out of time. i can’t do this.”

he shakes his head, not accepting this answer and he moves quicker than you can stop him, pinning your body down to your bed, his hips settling between your thighs familiarly. “don’t push me away,” chris breathes out, voice full of desperation as he looks down at your wide eyed expression. “come on, you don’t mean this. i’ll get better, i swear. give me another chance.”

you’re about to speak, about to push him away and tell him to fuck off, that you’re serious this time, but when his lips come down and start pressing against your jaw, kissing down to your neck the way he knows you love, the only sound that comes out of you is a whiny breath, head tilting away from him as your eyes flutter.

“there’s my girl,” he whispers against your skin, one of his hands sliding up underneath your tank top, his cold fingers triggering goosebumps on your stomach. “i know you don’t want me to leave. you’d just embarrass yourself anyway when you beg me to come back, tellin’ me nobody else can make you feel like i can. just let me stick around and i’ll make it worth it.”

you reach up to hold onto his biceps, torn between pushing him away and just pulling him closer, but you were never strong enough to push him off of you, especially not right now when it’s been so long, when you craved him so badly. “chris,” you breathe out and you feel his lips curl up as they kiss against your collarbone now, teeth nipping gently at your skin.

“what, baby?” he coos, tone almost mocking as he pushes your tank top over your tits, moving his mouth down to wrap his lips around one of your nipples, moaning as he flattened his tongue against you. he craved you just as badly as you craved him if not more.

chris pops his lips off of you, staring down at spit slicked skin. every part of you always tasted so good, whether you had just gotten out of the shower or were covered in a sheen of sweat, he loved having his mouth whenever he could on you, but now as he looked at you, chest already rising and falling as you watched him, too, he needed more.

chris scoots down the bed and wastes no time in slipping your shorts and panties down your legs with your help, throwing them onto the floor haphazardly. you instinctively spread your legs for him the second you were unrestricted, not missing the slight smirk on his face when he saw the slightest glisten in your folds.

“shut up,” you say sternly, wanting nothing more than to smack the look right off of his face. “i didn’t say anything,” chris hums with a prideful shrug, taking off his hoodie and throwing it somewhere as well before he grabs both of your thighs and pushes them up, leaning in and immediately attaching his lips to your pussy.

filthy moans slip from both of your mouths, yours a sound of relief at the feeling of him finally settling where you needed him most and his a hungry groan of desire. despite how toxic things always got between you two, you’d always give into him, unable to stand your ground very long when you would tell him things needed to change.

he ate you out like a man starved, loud slurping noises filling the air as his fingers dug into your skin, holding your thighs apart to keep you spread underneath him.

you reach down and pull the hat off of his head, your fingers tangling in his hair immediately like they always do, holding his face close and refusing to let him move away as he devoured you, deep groans of satisfaction rolling from his lips with every taste.

“f-fuck, chris, i’m not letting you off this easy,” you choke out, voice strained as you throw your head back into your pillow. he doesn’t answer, only hums and slides one hand up until he’s able to dip two fingers inside of you, forcing your thoughts even further back in your head. “oh my- yes, right there.”

his fingers curl and twist inside of you just like he knows you love, tongue still working tirelessly on your clit, bringing you close to the edge faster than anyone else has ever been able to do. chris has always been so good at making you feel good, his tongue, fingers, his dick always taking you to heights you’d never even been able to imagine prior to him, and that fact didn’t change now, even as you tried to cut him off and end things, he was still the only one that could make you feel like this.

just as you’re approaching your climax, chris pulls off and slips his fingers out of you, sliding up the bed between your legs. his free hand comes up to grip your jaw, forcing you to peel your eyes open and look at him as he presses his two middle fingers against your clit and starts rubbing back and forth quickly, soaking in your desperate moans.

“you gonna cum for me?” he rasps, staring into your eyes as your face contorts from the pleasure, your thighs trying to close on either side of him. all you can do is nod while you grip onto the sheets, your orgasm plowing into you violently, entire body trembling.

chris coaxes you through it, only pulling his hand away when you started whimpering from overstimulation, but he only moves away to undo his belt and the button on his jeans, pushing them down just enough to pull his cock from his briefs.

“gonna run your mouth ‘n sound all pathetic and whiny just to fall apart for me, huh?” he teases ruthlessly, wasting no time in burying himself to the hilt inside of you, groaning at the feeling of your walls still twitching from your orgasm.

“fuuuck,” chris breathes, his own eyes fluttering shut for a moment before reopening. you stare up at him helplessly, completely surrendered to him. he was right and you knew it. you’d always give it up to him.

chris reaches his hand for yours and untangles it from your bed sheets, pressing it into the pillow next to your head as he laces your fingers together, holding you tightly as he starts to fuck into you slowly.

“i’m not going anywhere. i’m right where i belong, buried inside this pussy made for me, ruining you for anybody else.” he’s babbling mindlessly as his hips rock back and forth, your slick walls dragging obscenely over his length.

chris leans down and presses his lips to your jaw again, kissing your skin as he continued to whisper in your ear. “you want me to stay, don’t you? keep making you feel like this? i’m right here, baby, you can’t get rid of me. i’ll say whatever you wanna hear just so i can keep tasting you, keeping fucking you like you need me to so bad.”

tears prick at the corners of your eyes as he speaks, his words soft but harsh at the same time, his fingers interlocked with yours overwhelming your senses. you were so close to having the relationship you wanted with him, but it felt so out of reach. you just needed him to be vulnerable and trust you.

chris pulls back and looks down at you, his other hand coming up to cup your cheek, fingers still slick with your arousal, the scent filling your nostrils as you sucked in a deep breath. “you look so fucking pretty when you cry,” he taunts, thumb brushing over your skin as a tear slips out. “just give me time, yeah? you know that’s all i need. you know exactly who i belong to.”

he emphasizes his sentence with a sharp thrust and the gasp that leaves your lips is all he needs for a switch to be flipped, his movements changing from soft and gentle to rough and fast, hips snapping in and out of you as he chased his orgasm now.

“come on, beautiful, give me another one before i show you who this pussy really belongs to.”

you’re completely at his mercy when his fingers work on your clit again, another orgasm cascading over you and triggering chris’s, a loud moan ripping out of him as he spills deep inside you, filling you up like he always does.

you lay there for a few moments, chest heaving as you come down, your hand still wrapped tight around chris’s as he does the same, his face dropping into your neck.

“still want me to go?” he asks, voice muffled by your skin and you can’t help but laugh breathlessly, your other hand coming up to smack the back of his head.

“shut the fuck up.”

a/n: yall fed??? or u need more. lmk. (i already know the answer)

[pasteldreams]

IM SO HORRIBLY OBSESSED W HIM

── ⋮ ⌗ NSFW ALPHABET. . .⟢ ARTIST.ᐟCHRIS x STAR.ᐟREADER ᵎᵎ

most of these ‘topics’ (+ layout!!) are from @/sturnioz + a few from my baby @pasteldreams, thank you <3333

ᯓ★ A ─ AFTERCARE. (what are they like after sex?)

chris is obsessed with it. doesn’t even realize how naturally he slips into it, how fast he moves to wipe her down with a warm rag, cradle the back of her neck, press kisses to her temple while she catches her breath. he murmurs “you good?” more than once, holds her tight after. she goes soft in his arms, nose buried into the crook of his neck, whispering how safe he makes her feel. that alone makes his chest ache in the best way.

ᯓ★ B ─ BODY PART. (favourite body part on each other)

he loves your thighs. not just for how they look wrapped around his head, but how soft they are in his hands, how you squeezes them together when you’re nervous, how you sits on one leg like a kid.

you loves his hands. paint-stained, veiny, always warm. you traces the lines of his knuckles when you’re tired, kisses his fingertips without thinking. they make you feel small and protected.

ᯓ★ C ─ COCKWARMING. 

chris wants to try it so bad. like really bad. he’s brought it up more than once, says shit like “just for a minute, baby… not even gonna move, swear.”

he just wants to be as close to you as possible. to feel you wrapped around him without the pressure to do anything. the idea of it turns him on way more than it should. he’s practically counting down the days til you say yes.

ᯓ★ D ─ DIRTY SECRET. (a dirty secret of theirs)

he’s drawn you naked before, not full-on pornographic, just soft — the slope of your spine, the arch of your back, the way your thighs part in sleep. from memory, never from reference.

you’ve touched yourself thinking about the way he moans when he’s close. it’s embarrassing but you can’t help it. 

ᯓ★ E ─ EATING YOU OUT

he loves it and gets messy with it. slow at first, because he likes the way she gets shy, but once he’s locked in he’s not stopping until she’s crying into his pillow. he’ll edge her with his tongue just to tease. doesn’t care how long it takes. if he had it his way, she’d sit on his face every night.

ᯓ★ F ─ FAVOURITE POSITION.

you on top. thighs around his waist, fingers digging into his chest, hair falling into your face. he loves watching you fall apart for him.

but the quietest, most vulnerable moments always come when he’s on top, slow and deep, kissing you between every thrust. that one’s his favorite when he wants to feel everything.

ᯓ★ G ─ GOOFY. (are they serious or humorous?)

you definitely bring it out of him. he’s usually quiet and a little serious, but you make him laugh mid-sex sometimes — especially when you tease him for saying something dirty with too much confidence.

“you practiced that one in the mirror?”

he groans and drops his forehead to your chest while you giggle, and then he makes you pay for it. flips you over, gripping your hips and muttering “funny now?”

ᯓ★ H ─ HAIR. (how well groomed are they? preferred preference?)

he used to keep it completely bare — just thought that was the move. until one night, way before you’d ever seen it, you made an offhand comment about how weird dicks look bald and he’s been keeping it trimmed ever since. neatly, but not too much.

you keep yourself groomed too, mostly just trimmed. you hate the prickles that come after a full shave, and he doesn’t mind one bit. has never even mentioned it, just kisses your thighs like he’s grateful to be between them, no matter what.

ᯓ★ I ─ IMPACT PLAY.

he keeps it light. his palm against your ass, maybe your thigh, just enough to make you gasp. never too much, just enough to make you whine his name in that shaky little voice he loves.

you do wish he’d slap you around like a ragdoll occasionally 

ᯓ★ J ─ JERKING OFF. (how often does he do it?)

less now that he’s got you, but still happens. sometimes in the shower or he wakes up hard and aching and you’re not there, so he handles it quick.

ᯓ★ K ─ KINKS. (their kinks)

chris has a huge thing for praise. soft control. overstimulation. his fingers in your mouth. his hand holding your throat just enough to make you feel claimed.

you love being guided, told what to do with that low, rough voice in your ear. “yeah, that’s it. just like that. knew you’d be so fuckin’ good for me.”

ᯓ★ L ─ LOCATION. (favourite place to have sex)

everywhere. for both of you. it’s less about the place and more about how bad you want each other in that moment.

but chris is lowkey obsessed with the backseat of his car. there’s something about the cramped space, the fogged windows, your body on top of his with the seats squeaking underneath that drives him crazy.

you like the bed. it’s comfortable, there’s more room, it’s quiet, and you don’t have to worry about someone walking in or knocking on the damn window. 

ᯓ★ M ─ MORNING WOOD.

he always wakes up hard when you’re in his bed. sometimes he presses into you on instinct, nose in your hair, hands gripping your hips.

ᯓ★ N ─ NO. (what they wouldn't do/turn offs)

he doesn’t like anything that feels mean for no reason. degrading, calling you names, humiliation — it doesn’t sit right with him. he can be filthy, rough, very possessive, but he won’t say anything he doesn’t mean and he won’t push you on anything you hesitate about. you trust him because of that.

neither of you are into anything performative. if it doesn’t feel real, you both lose interest fast.

ᯓ★ O ─ ORAL. (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc...)

he gives like it’s his religion. like he’s starving, you’re the only thing that’s ever tasted that good.

you love going down on him, especially when he’s talking too much — nothing shuts him up like your mouth on his cock. 

ᯓ★ P ─ PACE. (fast and rough or slow and sensual?)

he starts slow always. kisses that drag, hips moving in deep, lazy rolls, his hands running all over your body like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you. (spoiler alert: he has)

but once he sees you start to lose it, your head falling back, hands clutching at him, breath stuttering, he speeds up enough to keep you whimpering, to make your thighs shake.

“don’t hide from it, baby. lemme see how good it feels.”

ᯓ★ Q ─ QUICKES. (their opinions and how often it happens)

he wants them more than he gets them. you’re so worried about lila or evelyn hearing something — and chris respects that — but it doesn’t stop him from trying every once in a while. but when they do happen they’re insane. half-dressed, quick hands, muffled moans into shoulders, fucking like you’ve been holding it in for days. and you always finish faster than you expect to when you’re trying not to get caught. 

ᯓ★ R ─ RISK. (do they take risks?)

you’re not huge on it. the idea of someone seeing or hearing you makes your stomach flip in the bad way.

but chris has definitely managed to talk you into a few situations. fingering you while driving and you sucked him off at a lookout point once. he swears it was the best head of his life. 

ᯓ★ S ─ SLEEPY SEX (what are they like during it?)

slow, soft, needy. you clinging to him, hips rocking lazily, breath hitching against his collarbone. his voice is raspy, half-asleep. “just like that, baby… c’mon, give it to me.”

ᯓ★ T ─TOYS. (do they own or use any sex toys?)

you had one tucked in the back of your drawer, he found it once when looking for a charger and raised his brows. now he uses it on you. presses it to your clit while he fucks you slow, he’s been thinking about getting handcuffs or a dildo (watching your fuck yourself with it runs through his mind at least twice a day) but hasn’t said it out loud yet.

ᯓ★ U ─ UNFAIR. (how much they like to tease)

he’s such a tease, it’s criminal. kisses between your thighs for ten minutes before barely touching where you want it. fingers ghosting over your clit but never staying there. whispering “what do you want?” like he doesn’t already know.

you whine and pull at his shirt and he grins like he’s innocent but the second you say “please”, he gives you everything.

ᯓ★ V ─ VOLUME. (how loud are they?)

you’reon the louder side, especially when he’s deep or slow. he loves it.

he’s quieter, more breathy groans, soft cursing, your name over and over. 

ᯓ★ W ─ WILD CARD. (random headcannon)

it was heat of the moment thing, his thrusts getting sloppy, your hands fisting the sheets. and then his hand slipped up wrapping gently around your throat without thinking, more pressure than force, just holding you there, and you clenched around him so hard he cursed. your eyes glossed over, jaw slack, tears welling up from the overwhelming feeling of it all. he truthfully didn’t mean to do it , but fuck, it unlocked something for both of you.

ᯓ★ X ─ X-RAY. (what's going on in artist!chris' pants?)

he’s thick, not porn-star huge, but enough to make your breath hitch every time he pushes in. slight curve upward, veiny, warm, and heavy when he’s hard..

ᯓ★ Y ─ YEARNING. (how high is their sex drive?)

his sex drive is high, but it’s tied directly to emotion. he needs to feel you to want you — physically, emotionally, mentally. when he’s all three? it’s like something clicks in his chest and he can’t keep his hands off you. you crave intimacy more than just sex but you both want each other more than either of you are willing to admit out loud. it shows in your bodies instead.

ᯓ★ Z ─ Zzz. (how fast they fall asleep afterwards)

you knock out first! always curled into his chest, one hand over his stomach, your cheek warm against his collarbone.

he watches you for a little while, runs his hand along your back. eventually, he falls asleep with his forehead pressed to yours. like even in sleep, he wants to stay close.

ᯓ★

authors note: meow!

[pasteldreams]

hey babygwrllllllllll

[pasteldreams]

☆ RE-INTRODUCING… EMO!MATT ☆

☆ emo matt. grunge. heavy metal. leather jackets. bandanas. smells like cigarettes and cologne. eyeliner. tattoos. dyed hair. lip ring. sensitive. introvert. hopelessly in love with iris. incredibly emotionally aware but struggles with rage. record store manager. plays guitar in a band with his friends. only listens to music on his vinyls. 

part of the dark wave universe

au originally created by @colorthecosmos444

[pasteldreams]

$b$$$$$$

need him in my life

RE-INTRODUCING… ALT!CHRIS

♱⃓ alternative chris. soundcloud emo rap. blacks and greys. hoodies. baggy jeans. mango flavored vapes. marlboro reds. white monster. chipped painted nails. silver jewelry. jet black box dyed hair. lil peep, xxxtentacion and $uicideboy$. beanies. long hair. dangly earrings. messy room. septum piercing. extrovert. partier. twitch streamer. full time bartender at night. part time at the record store with emo!matt. loves exploring abandoned buildings. doesn't want to get past the talking stage. does not believe in love. emotionally unavailable.

part of the dark wave universe

au originally created by @colorthecosmos444

[pasteldreams]

RE-INTRODUCING… ALT!CHRIS

♱⃓ alternative chris. soundcloud emo rap. blacks and greys. hoodies. baggy jeans. mango flavored vapes. marlboro reds. white monster. chipped painted nails. silver jewelry. jet black box dyed hair. lil peep, xxxtentacion and $uicideboy$. beanies. long hair. dangly earrings. messy room. septum piercing. extrovert. partier. twitch streamer. full time bartender at night. part time at the record store with emo!matt. loves exploring abandoned buildings. doesn't want to get past the talking stage. does not believe in love. emotionally unavailable.

part of the dark wave universe

au originally created by @colorthecosmos444

[pasteldreams]

INTRODUCING… IRIS

★ iris. early 2000s music. matt’s biggest fangirl. best friends with sunshine. yapper. sweetheart but not afraid speak up. dainty tattoos. lip liner. fresh manicures. shopping sprees. gucci bloom perfume. cute instagram aesthetic. mom of the group. protective over her loved ones.

part of the dark wave universe

[pasteldreams]

INTRODUCING… SUNSHINE

𖤓 sunshine. alt!chris’s worst nightmare. best friends with iris. believes nature is her soulmate. raging optimist. comes off as clingy but is overfilled with joy. clumsy. always laughing. picnics. sundresses. collects seashells. caretaker. sees the good in everyone. bon iver. fleetwood mac. wanders around life. 

part of the dark wave universe

[pasteldreams]

been waiting for this one 🤤

WELCOME TO…

THE DARK WAVE AU

☆ emo!matt

♱⃓ alt!chris

★ iris

𖤓 sunshine

alternate universe originally created by @colorthecosmos444

all new works for these characters will be written and posted by @y3sterdaysproblem with the help and input of cece <3

a/n: i’m so excited and honored to carry on the emo!matt and alt!chris au created by one of my best friends in the whole world. colorthecosmos444 may be dead but we knew emo!matt couldn’t die.

[pasteldreams]

fuuuuuck

「 cockwarming chris on stream ᵎᵎ 」

smut, slight exhibitionism, pet names

“right there! right there! chris behind you!” matt’s voice was loud through chris’ headset, his gaze focused on the computer monitor in front of him. the soft blue glow of the screen cast a cool light over chris’ sharp facial features, his focused expression making your panties pool with anticipation.

you slowly sauntered over to chris from his bed, standing behind him as you ducked your head down to be in frame of the stream, the chat immediately lighting up upon your arrival.

“hi baby,” chris muttered up at you, giving you a warm smile before turning back to the game, “we’re streaming duos, wanna come watch?”

you nodded, plopping yourself down onto his lap, his arms immediately wrapping around your middle and pulling you into his embrace. his arms stayed put on your waist, his grip on firm while he continued his game.

with each jerk and sudden movement, you began to grow more and more desperate until you couldn’t take it anymore. chris wasn’t doing too well either, you on his lap in your little pajama set causing his dick to strain against his sweats.

after a couple more minutes of playing, chris was sniped, leaving matt to finish out the round himself.

“chat i’m going to the bathroom, i’ll be back,” chris announced to the stream, turning off his mic and camera before burying his face into your neck, mouthing at the exposed skin.

“wan’ you so bad right now baby,” he mumbled as he pressed kisses to the crevices of where your neck and shoulder met.

you hummed in response, tilting your head to allow better access. “i want you too,” you sighed softly.

“here,” he grumbled, lifting you up and shimmying your shorts down, leaving you in your soaked panties, “come sit.”

he was quick to free himself of his sweats and boxers, his dick springing, his tip red and leaking. you nodded as he moved your panties to the side, guiding you to sink down on his cock, your gummy walls squeezing around his length.

he switched the camera and microphone back on, his demeanor doing a complete turn as he returned back to his game, acting as if he dick wasn’t inside of you with twenty thousand people watching.

you watched some more as chris and matt played round after round, any movement of your hips against his driving you both crazy. you kept trying to motion to chris to get off the game and do something, but he continued his game like no big deal.

after one particular round was over, you were practically grinding down on his cock, desperate for any sort of relief.

“baby,” he whispered into your ear, “sit and be a good girl, i’ll take care of you later, ‘kay?”

bree’s corner ⸝⸝⸝ need this soo bad.

[pasteldreams]

hard launch • c.sturniolo

christophersturniolo

christophersturniolo life is pretty sweet rn

liked by nicolassturniolo, matthew.sturniolo, and 3582 others.

nicolassturniolo hold up did he just???

— matthew.sturniolo yeah I think he just did 🫢

nicolassturniolo Okay I'm actually screaming in the back of an Uber rn

— christophersturniolo youre always screaming

natedoe8 I'm so happy for you man

sturnslover03 OH MY GOD??? LOOK AT THE THIRD PIC IM SCMEODNFKF THATS CUTEEEE

sturniolos4life THIS IS CRAZYDGDJFJFF

youruser

youruser ❤️

liked by christophersturniolo, nicolassturniolo, and others.

christophersturniolo ❤️

nicolassturniolo cuteeeee we love

matthewsturniolo so happy I introduced you guys🙂‍↕️

sturniolos4life IS THIS HER??? FROM CHRIS'S POST?

sturnsss guys please be normal about this I begggg

I hope you guys like this! I'm working on a matt version now. I might make this into a little story type thing that's told through Instagram posts but idk though let me know what you think!

[pasteldreams]

2k for some screenshots is CRAZY but like i get it 😔 theyre so baby girl

literally shut the fuck up. the hug, the way they look at matt, their smiles, matt’s cutie haircut 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[pasteldreams]

. . . THE WAY YOU RIDE HIS FACE

he settles between your legs, spread open for him on the bed — all for his taking as his lips linger over the sensitive skin of your thighs. teasing and tender kisses, muddled with soft praises about how good you felt, and how pretty you looked.

his teasing only seems to make you more desperate, gently rocking your hips upwards every time his tongue passes over your clit — wanting more than he was giving you.

“taste so good.” he murmurs, hands gripping your thighs as he passes his tongue over you, dipping into your wet heat just to taste more.

you whine out, threading your fingers through his hair in the hopes of bringing his face closer — pushing him into your pussy.

“so desperate baby.” he mumbles against you, a small smirk on his face as you simply whine, pulling him closer as your hips continue to grind forward. “fuckin’ needy.” he adds, pulling away to catch his breath as your fingers remained tangled in his hair, pulling at the roots.

“just— feels good.” you admit, sighing a little as he looks up at you, brows furrowed a little as he tries to read your face — like you had more to say.

“is this not enough?” he asks softly, peppering kisses along your thighs and over your pussy, merely touching you as he asks the question.

you let out a shaky breath, body burning hot from whatever had gotten you so worked up in the first place. “i-i… i don’t know.” you admit quietly.

he thinks for a second, lips brushing over you like he didn’t wanna stop despite having to talk. “hm. you want something else?” he asks suggestively, clearly suggesting his dick.

you think for a second, more frustrated than anything. “no— i dunno.” you sigh in defeat, unable to ignore the throb of your cunt — and the way your whole body felt on edge, craving a release.

“i want your mouth— just want…” you trail off, reaching down to run your thumb over his lip, so transfixed on the plushness of them — and honestly his entire face. something about it just made you want it.

his eyes bore up into yours as he lets your thumb rest on his bottom lip, gently parting them — but not enough to push your finger in. “tell me what you want.” he whispers, just wanting to make you feel good.

“your mouth.” you mumble back, transfixed on the way your thumb pressed into his lip, so soft and plump. “just… wanna do it.”

hir brows furrow slightly, fingers still resting on your pussy, mindlessly playing with it. “you wanna do it?” he clarifies, trying to understand what it is you wanted.

there’s a short silence as you continue to play with his lip, just trying to not think about how frustrated you were — or more rather how bad you felt for asking for more.

but then he shifts from between your legs, sitting up slightly as he pulls away from your touch. you watch as he moves, curious as to what he was doing as he sits beside you.

“what’re you doing?” you ask softly, worried he was annoyed or hurt by what you’d said. but it was quite the opposite as he smirks, tapping your thigh.

“sit on my face.” he murmurs, saying it so casually as if it didn’t have your stomach twisting with need and anticipation. “oh.” you swallow a little, slightly taken back by how four words had got you so incredibly worked up in a matter of seconds.

“oh?” he repeats back, questioning your reaction. “you don’t want to?” he taunts, not at all taken back by your response as he looks at you — seeing that look in your eyes that made him sure of the fact you wanted to.

that you needed to.

“i-i.” you try to find the words, but your body’s so hot, and you’re so desperate to just grasp the feeling — you can’t even think or try and speak rationally. you just need it.

“stop then, just get on.” he huffs, having heard enough of your hesitation and mumbling, or whatever it was that you were doing as he lays his head back on the pillow, waiting for you.

you think for a second before shifting to straddle his face, leaving a space between him and your pussy — hesitant on how you were meant to sit and how much weight you were meant to—

“jesus, just-“ he sighs, hands firmly gripping your hips to pull you down, closing the gap. you gasp a little, feeling his tongue dip into your folds immediately — lapping you up hungrily.

“ooh, f-fuck.” you whine, face scrunching up in pleasure as you hold onto the headboard, trying to keep your balance without putting all your weight down.

he groans against you, fingers digging into your skin to keep you there as you gasp out, body tensing from the feeling of his tongue passing over your clit — and the way you were holding yourself up.

“don’t.” he mumbles against you, lips brushing over your pussy as his eyes open to look up at you, a slightly frustrated look on his face. “don’t what?” you question quietly.

“don’t hover, you’re like fuckin’…” he grips your hips harder as he speaks, trying to tell you to sit on his face properly, and put all your weight on him.

you hold onto the headboard, letting your body relax and rest on him — slightly worried about suffocating him. he groans, kissing your folds before pulling his face back to run his thumb over your clit. “atta girl.”

before you can even respond, his lips are on you, sucking and licking at your clit as he quite literally eats you — unable to do anything but that with your pussy pushed up against his mouth.

“fuuck, god matt— i-i, mm.” you moan out, one hand moving down to grip his hair to stabalize yourself, looking down to see his eyes shut in concentration, brows furrowed as his jaw clenched each time he moved to go deeper into your heat.

and only when he lets out a guttural groan do you realise the way you’d been grinding your hips, so lost in the feeling you didn’t care — simply chasing your release so desperately.

“mmgh.” he groans beneath you again as you shift forward, his tongue dipping into your cunt as your clit nudged against the tip of his nose. “ahh, shiit.” you whine.

he doesn’t even care that he can hardly breathe, hands remaining on your thighs to keep you there — feeling the way your hips rock back and forth so perfectly to grind your needy cunt against his face.

in all honesty, his dick had never been harder. hearing the way you moan so freely, taking control of what you needed by using his face like this.

he fucking loved every second of it, drunk on the taste of you — and so content with his head stuffed between your thighs.

“oh g-god.” you grit out, moving quickly against his nose, not a care in the world as you grind your hips at the perfect angle — body buzzing with the repeated stimulation of his nose buried in your pussy — rubbing over your clit.

“fuck— gonna cum, o-oh fuuck.” you moan, body sticky with sweat as you keep going, fingers only gripping onto the roots of his hair harder to keep him beneath you.

he moans into you at your words, the thought of you coming all over his face enough to have his dick twitching in his pants — pumping out enough pre cum to soak through.

“fuck matt, ooh fuuck yess— ahh.” you completely fall apart above him, feeling your release in your entire body as he continues to flick his tongue over your sopping pussy. the only thing keeping you up being matts firm grip on your hips.

it takes a second for you to catch your breath, head resting against the headboard before you climb off with shaky legs — matt still trying to get a taste as his tongue flicks over your clit.

“oh my god.” you breathe out, melting into the bed below you as he lays in silence next to you. “that was so fucking hot.” he mumbles, staring up at the ceiling, arms behind his head as he licks the taste of you off his lips.

“yeah?” you smirk, still sweating but on such a rush you couldn’t help but be cocky.

he scoffs a little, head nodding down to his crotch. “few more minutes and i would’ve cum in my fuckin’ pants.” he admits, a little out of breath.

you can’t help but smile at the prospect, looking back up at his pretty face wishing you could’ve stayed there forever.

𐔌 ©.STURNSRECORD

idea. anon

[pasteldreams]

NEED HIM SOOO BAD

𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬

the shower is too hot, steam thick in the air, making it hard to breathe, but that’s not why your chest is heaving. it’s the way chris has you bent over against the fogged-up glass, one hand gripping your hip, the other tangled in your wet hair, keeping you exactly where he wants you.

“stay fuckin’ still,” he mutters, voice rough, right against your ear. the deep pull of his thrusts has your body jerking forward with each snap of his hips, your palms slipping against the glass, but you can’t find it in yourself to listen. not when he’s fucking you like this, deep, deliberate, like he’s trying to ruin you.

“i— i can’t,” you whimper, fingers pressing into the glass, your legs shaking. “chris, holy shit—”

“yeah?” his tone is sharp, teasing, and he tugs your hair harder, forcing your back to arch, making you feel him even deeper. “can’t take it, baby? thought you wanted me to fuck you like this.”

your moan is broken, muffled against the glass as his pace gets rougher, relentless. the sound of skin slapping echoes through the shower, water running down both of your bodies in hot rivulets. his grip on your waist tightens, like he’s holding himself back from absolutely wrecking you.

“chris, please, fuck, you’re—” you cut yourself off with a gasp as he drives into you harder, your whole body trembling.

“finish that sentence,” he rasps, his lips brushing against the nape of your neck. “i’m what?”

you squeeze your eyes shut, head spinning. “so fucking deep, i can’t—shit, can’t even think—”

chris chuckles darkly, chest pressing against your back as he leans in, his breath hot against your ear. “you don’t gotta think, baby. just take it.”

a sharp slap lands on your ass, and you gasp, pressing harder into the glass, needing something to ground yourself. the way he’s fucking you is overwhelming, rough, controlled, making sure you feel every inch of him. your body is on fire, overstimulated from the way his hips roll into yours, the way his fingers dig into your skin like he never wants to let go.

your words cut off again into a sharp cry as his hand slips between your thighs, his fingers pressing against your clit, rubbing tight circles.

“that’s it,” he mutters, his voice low, strained, like he’s barely holding on himself. “cum for me, baby, let me feel you.”

it crashes into you hard, a wave of pleasure that has your legs buckling, your body clenching around him as a strangled moan rips from your throat. chris groans, his thrusts turning erratic as he follows right after, burying himself deep inside you with a sharp, broken “fuck.”

for a moment, neither of you move, both of you panting, the sound of water hitting tile filling the space. then his grip on your hair loosens, his palm smoothing down your back, a quiet, unspoken “you good?” before he slowly pulls out.

you shudder at the loss, still catching your breath, and before you can straighten up, he’s turning you around, his hands gentle now as they slide over your slick skin. his lips brush against your forehead, a silent contrast to how rough he was just seconds ago.

“relax,” he murmurs, reaching for the loofah, his fingers grazing over your stomach as he lathers soap onto your skin. “lemme take care of you.”

his touch is slower now, careful, his fingertips tracing soft circles along your waist like he’s memorizing the shape of you all over again. you let out a breathy laugh, still dizzy, and rest your forehead against his chest.

“you act all tough,” you mumble, voice hoarse, “but you’re so nice after you fuck me.”

chris scoffs, tilting your chin up so you meet his gaze, blue eyes still heavy-lidded, hazy with the last traces of lust. “yeah, ‘cause you let me do whatever i want to you,” he murmurs, brushing a kiss against your lips. “least i can do is wash your hair after.”

[pasteldreams]

OH ! FUCK

...at 12:20pm goodgirl!reader (professor chris au)

it’s worse than you could imagine.

he knew you had back-to-back classes.knew you didn’t have time to run home, to shower, to "clean yourself up like a lady."knew your panties were still crumpled somewhere in the front seat of his car, stained and useless.

he fucked you hard in the empty stairwell behind the science building—hands gripping your hips, forehead pressed to yours, growling against your open mouth:"gonna leave you dripping all fucking day, sweetheart.”

and he did.left you stretched and raw, full of his cum, no mercy.

your thighs sticky with every step you take across campus.you can feel it.everyone could see it if they just looked hard enough—the shine on your inner thighs, the dazed, ruined way you stumble down the sidewalk.

you’re shaking before you even make it into the bathroom.door locked. backpack half-dropped.you lean against the cool tile, breathing hard.

when your phone buzzes.

“you in the bathroom yet?. show me what i did to you.”

you can barely stand steady enough to hold the camera.but you obey.because you’re good.you lift your skirt with shaking hands—no panties. just your messy, fucked-out pussy,glistening and drooling his cum down your thighs.

you spread your legs wider and it oozes slower, heavier, dripping onto your shoe.

“please, professor—i'm so messy, i can’t—” the video catches everything—

your ruined whimpers,the way you rub two fingers up through your folds and gather the slick on your hand, holding it up to the camera like an offering.you pushing the mess back inside with shaking fingers, moaning broken and hoarse, trying to be good even when it’s impossible.

two minutes later you get a reply,“good girl. don’t wipe it. sit in class like that. take notes with your thighs wet for me.”you whimper harder.

but you nod to yourself. and whisper, "yes, professor," into the empty air.

then you pull your skirt back down, wipe your hand on your own stomach, pick up your bag, and walk back into the world

cum dripping, cheeks flushed, thighs trembling,

smelling like him. full of him.

always his good girl.

[pasteldreams]

im holding on💔💔💔

like that bitch in the titanic 😔

[pasteldreams]

fuck amber and fuck u too UGH

they said speak now - m.s.

summary: you and matt had been best friends since the moment you were born, rarely doing anything without him by your side. your families have always expected the two of you to end up together, but when matt gets a girlfriend that hates you and desperately attempts to destroy your relationship, you’re forced to confront the truth about your feelings for him. will your bond survive the test, or will the pressure of love, jealousy, and change push you apart?

wc: 2k

Part nine

You knew waking up would be hell the next morning, but you didn’t expect to feel as nauseous as you did, your hangover catching you by surprise almost immediately. Even the languid stretch you allowed yourself made you groan, body aching in the most uncomfortable ways.

You peeled your eyes open reluctantly and what you saw only made you feel sicker, taking in the familiar sight of Matt’s bedroom, sun glaring in through the windows. Memories started to flood your mind of the night before, like calling out Amber, taking shot after shot with Chris, comforting Matt after his girlfriend stormed in, heading up to his room with him…

You turn your head to the opposite side of the bed you laid in, seeing the boy you loved sleeping peacefully, laid on his back with his face tilted towards you, soft breaths puffing out of his nose rhythmically. He looked so content, so pretty like this.

You had no idea what to do, torn between going back to sleep and sneaking out before he could wake up. Was this something that either of you were capable right now?

Matt makes the decision for you when he rolls onto his side and slings his arm around your waist under the blanket, nuzzling his face into your shoulder sleepily. “Head hurts,” he mumbles softly, but you’re paralyzed with fear and anxiety, unable to respond.

He notices this, pulling you closer as he presses his lips to your skin. “Y’okay, babe?” He asks, pulling his face away and finally peeling his eyes open, movements freezing when he sees you staring back at him, your own eyes wide with worry.

“Matt,” you whisper, heart pounding in your chest. You had no idea how he felt or what he wanted to do, no idea if this was the end of you and him or the beginning of something completely different.

He rolls onto his back again and aggressively slaps his hands over his face, rubbing roughly. “Fuck,” he mutters, directed at nobody in particular. “Fuck,” he repeats, like he has no idea what else to say.

You turn onto your side, making sure to keep yourself covered by the blankets since you were fully naked underneath them. “Are you mad?” You ask him tentatively, afraid he’d be angry with you and make everything your fault.

He’s quiet for a few moments as he tries to think of what to say, head pounding from all the alcohol he’d consumed and from the way it was reeling. Memories of last night come flooding back to him, the way he kissed you and had his hands all over your body, the way you felt when he pushed inside you for the first time. It was all too much for him to handle.

“No,” he says finally, dropping his hands next to his body and staring up at the ceiling. “No, I… I’m not mad, I just don’t know what to say or do or- fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” you say immediately, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to pool in your eyes. “I-I should’ve stopped you, I should’ve just told you to go to bed, I’m so sorry.”

Matt turns his head and finally meets your eyes and for the first time in your life you truly have no idea what he’s thinking about, his expression showing nothing except pure exhaustion. “It’s not your fault,” he says, voice neutral– empty. “We were both drunk and made a mistake. Just have to live with it now. The whole thing was dumb, I should’ve never tried to kiss you, I was drunker than I’ve ever been.” He sighs and shakes his head slightly.

You can’t fight them anymore as you listen to him, eyes blurring as tears rapidly fill your waterline. “Mistake?” You choke out, voice strained. “Matt, it wasn’t a mistake, we were both just drunk enough to give into it.”

“To give into what?” He asks exasperatedly, raising one hand before smacking it back down on the bed. “We were drunk. I fucking cheated on my girlfriend, how am I supposed to live with that?”

You furrow your eyebrows, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness bubbling inside you. “Your girlfriend that fucking left you at your own birthday party? The one that tries to control everything you do and everybody you talk to? The one that talks down to me any chance she gets in front of you? The girlfriend that you said wouldn’t get between us and you let it happen anyway? I’ve been there for you your entire fucking life and she comes along and ruins everything, Matt!” You side out of bed, too angry to care about the fact that you’re still naked, starting to grab your clothes from last night and pull them on quickly.

“You did this! You asked to kiss me and I gave you an out, I said we could stop and you fucking said no! You said you always wanted to know what it would be like and that I was the girl of your fucking dreams! How could you say that and then turn around and call it a mistake?!” You’re yelling at him now, no doubt loud enough for Nick and Chris to hear, but you don’t care. You’re pissed at Matt, not only for this but for everything.

He sits up in bed, watching you get dressed with tears streaming down your face as you said what you needed to say. “We were drunk,” he reiterates tiredly. “What, do you expect me to break up with her just because we had sex when I was mad at her?”

You stop your movements to stare at him, a look of pure disgust on your face. “Because you were mad? Is that your fucking excuse? That’s what you’re going to tell yourself?”

Matt groans, getting out of bed himself and pulling on a pair of sweatpants that were on the floor, tying the drawstring quickly. “I don’t know what you want from me. We got drunk, we had sex, it was a mistake and stays between us. It can never happen again.”

You wipe at your cheeks quickly to rid of the tears as he walks closer, shaking your head in disbelief. “No, I refuse to believe that’s how you really feel, not after everything you said last night. Drunk or not, I don’t believe you.” You let out a choked sob mixed with a groan. “You’ve been playing with my emotions and my heart for the last three fucking years and I am done. I’m done hanging around waiting for you to realize your girlfriend is a fucking bitch, I’m done giving you advice on how to deal with her, I’m done listening to you rant about what she did this time or that time, and I’m done being your fucking backup plan. Go enjoy your fucking life with your jealous, controlling girlfriend and I’ll enjoy my life as far away from you as humanly possible, because I absolutely cannot be friends with a boy that can’t even see how bad he’s hurting me. Don’t talk to me again until you’re ready to talk about how you really feel. Until then, have a nice fucking life, Matt.”

You grab the rest of your things and shoot him one last glance before turning to his door, trying to ignore the way your nose burned and your heart ached. He’s following you out and calling your name, but you don’t stop, feet moving until you find yourself in your car, finally letting yourself fully break down.

Matt’s brothers see you leaving as they’re picking up from the night before, eyes wide but mouths unmoving, at a loss for words as they watch Matt run after you until he gets to the front door, swearing under his breath. “Fuck,” he breathes out for the umpteenth time this morning, leaning against the doorframe.

“What was that about?” Chris asks, shooting a glance at Nick and shrugging his shoulders awkwardly before looking back at Matt. He turns around and walks towards them, staring at the ground as he moves. “I fucked up,” he answers lowly, brushing past them to go to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. “You slept with her?” Chris questions, voice softer now.

Matt leans against the counter and squeezes his eyes shut, his own nose starting to burn with emotion. “Yeah, I, uh.. I slept with her,” he admits, despite his wish to not tell anyone the words spill out of him. “I feel sick to my stomach, guys, I don’t know what to do.” His voice cracks towards the end and the two other boys waste no time in getting to Matt’s side, each wrapping an arm around him.

Matt drops his head onto Nick’s chest and lets out a small, pained noise. “It’ll be okay, you guys will sort it out,” Chris soothes, running a gentle hand over his back. “No,” Matt responds instantly. “She’s not coming back. I told her it was a mistake and it only happened because we were drunk. You should’ve seen the fucking look in her eyes, dude, it was like… it was like I ruined her.”

Nick and Chris’s eyes meet over Matt’s head, sharing a devastated look. “Matt,” Nick starts quietly. “Give it some time. Take a few days to think about what you want and where you want to go from here. She loves you, she’ll want to work things out, she always does.”

Matt shakes his head and sniffles, pulling away from his brothers and taking a few steps away, refusing to look at them. “No, not this time,” he tells them, firmly believing it. “She hates me, she hates Amber and I can’t change that anymore. She made her feelings clear as day, said have a nice life and everything, so until she can accept the fact that I have a girlfriend and what happened was a drunken mistake, I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

Nick and Chris stare at their brother in shock, like they don’t even recognize him. “Matt, she loves you,” Chris says, voice sad and weary. Nick slaps his arm like a kid that just did something bad, but Chris didn’t care. “There’s no way you can’t see how bad she loves you and you treat her like this? Fuck her just to call it a mistake and go back to your girlfriend that nobody likes? I’m sorry, Matt, but you’ll have to face your feelings for her at some point. You better hope you haven’t lost her for good.”

Chris grabs the energy drink he’s been nursing since he got up this morning and storms out of the kitchen, truly appalled at his brother’s behavior, not understanding how he could hurt somebody like you. Nick stays put, staring at Matt’s still frame for a few moments. “Don’t you love her?” He asks in almost a whisper.

Matt closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, releasing it shakily. “It’s different,” he responds at the same volume. “I love Amber, I do. She makes me happy despite what you guys say. I feel good when I’m with her.”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Nick takes a few steps closer to Matt slowly as to not startle him. “It was a mistake,” Matt says, voice suddenly going monotone, his mind shutting down. “That’s all it was. Amber never finds out. End of story.”

Matt turns around and storms back to his room, slamming the door loudly and locking it so he couldn’t be bothered. All he could think about was pinning you against the door as he stared at it, remembering the way you felt against him, your lips soft against his own, your sweet sounds setting his skin on fire.

He knew it was more than just a mistake and he knew it would take a lot to fix, but he couldn’t be bothered to fix it right now, curling back up in bed as he tried to ignore the way your perfume lingered in his sheets, suffocating him as tears fell silently from his eyes.

All he could hear as he dozed back off to sleep was a screaming question of ‘if it was such a mistake, why don’t I regret it?’

a/n: forgive me for i have sinned

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