patchoulimodelo

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“laughter is the best medicine” WRONG. hormone replacement therapy.

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FORLORN WIGANER: ah... another lost soul, seeking the strength of gravy? I'm afraid you're too late, friend. Pea Wet is all that's left...

'Good as gravy'... a sick joke, it is... [CREEPY LAUGH]

[patchoulimodelo]

Reblog if you're a perverted woman with dubious motives

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just saw a beautiful woman in fishnets that were fighting a valiant and losing battle to hold in her thighs out with her boyfriend and i don't think ive wished death on a man this intensely for merely existing in a while

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AND YET A TRACE OF THE TRUE SELF EXISTS IN THE FALSE SELF

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talking about impenetrable accents/dialect just reminded me. when I was in Milan a couple of years back I was staying in this little rathole hotel and I had the biggest fucking migraine, so I was like non c'è problema I'll just go buy painkillers. of course every pharmacy on the map in a three block radius was closed, so my stupid ass just starts wandering around trying to figure out on the fly if you can get OTC from supermarkets in italy.

I walk into this little everything store (to my foreign eyes the kind of place that back home could sell you a bunch of carrots, a 6-pack of beer, pantyhose, bleach and a screwdriver set) and I see some household basics in the back but not what I need. with the confidence of a person who is only in the city for 3 days because he got bored and packed a bag and booked the cheapest flight available the week before (<= MENTAL ILLNESS), I was like no worries I know some italian, I can just ask.

I grab a bottle of water, walk up to the counter, and I'm like Ciao, hai il paracetamolo? And the guy is like che, and I'm like paracetamolo. Per la mia testa. And he's like che?

This is where I would have said 'aspirina' except I can't take aspirin for medical reasons, or 'antidolorifico' except I don't know that word and I've got no phone data for google translate and also I'm stupid. So in my fucked up leith-glasgow-italian accent I'm like paaa-ra-cetta-mollll-ooo. He's like ohhh bene, bene, and he calls another guy out of the back and asks him to go get something. Other guy then walks out of the store into the street, and before I can be like hey, che la fuck, he comes back and hands me a huge bundle of herbs.

At this point I'm like okay this entire interaction has been a bust, but these guys have been very nice and patient and they're both smiling happily at me because they've been of service, so I'm like ahh perfetto, grazie, pay them a couple of euros and leave.

EVENTUALLY I find a pharmacy that's open, and my head is fucking killing me, and my phone still isn't connecting, and now I have this small shrubbery poking out of my coat pocket, so I don't even bother looking around the shelves. I just walk straight to the counter and I'm like uhh ciao, scusi. And hearing my nightmare of an accent the guy answers in english and I'm like thank christ, do you please have paracetamol. Not aspirin, I can't take aspirin. And he's like yeah yeah hold on, goes into the back, comes out with what I need.

Only when he comes out he gives me this look, and then he starts laughing. And then he pretends he's not laughing and rings me up and I pay, and as I'm leaving I can see him losing it. But I don't care, my head is going to explode, I'm going back to the rathole to close the blinds and fall comatose for four hours.

When I get back to my hotel room I take off my coat and remember the huge bouquet of herbs in my pocket. They smell amazing, and I'm like I'm pretty sure this is parsley in which case I can just get some tomatoes and mozzarella later and make it work. but since I have no idea what that interaction was, I want to make sure. I bring out my phone to get a visual reference of what parsley leaves look like, and because I was using it for google translate earlier I put 'parsley' in the wrong box like a dope and translate it to italian.

prezzemolo

I wish I could have been the pharmacist in the moment he looked at my tired pissed off anglophone ass, heard me say 'paracetamol' in my fucked up accent, and turned around saw what was in my pocket. I'd have lost my shit too.

[patchoulimodelo]

Love Live! Sunshine!! | 1x02 "Catch the Transfer Student!"

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kinda insane how common and accepted it is for yanks to just casually mention wanting to join the military. yeah I wanted to kill people because of a videogame. I wanted to kill real human beings because I thought it'd be fun. I would kill human beings who Aren't Real because they aren't American (Real). and you just have to fucking deal with it! especially being arab diaspora like jesus christ it feels like a genuine threat at some points. I wanted to kill people like you. I killed people like you and feel good enough to say it. I think anyone who's ever even thought about joining the US military should kill themselves

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got banned from femboy hooters for putting estrogen in the tip jar

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"this must hit so hard if youre stupid" is such a simple yet incredible rinse i think it might change the hating game forever

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I think "slop" is a strong contender for world of the year 2025, as it seems to be universally recognizable as a description for the majority of output produced in the name of Return on Investment.

Sure it means algorithmically generative slop now, but look at housing construction, durable appliances, food, automobiles, you name it and tell me it's not just more slop. If enshittification is the process, slop is the result.

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(source)

[patchoulimodelo]

My favourite Da Vinky twins trans ally moments:

When they said their pronouns are they/them because there’s 2 of them

“It doesn’t matter what your pronouns are, because at the end of the day, it’s night”

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You are not the daughter of the witches they couldn't burn you are a white woman with a rock collection and wicca was invented in the 1950s

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Breaking my several year harry potter silence just to say that in the Apollo Justice Trilogy, they removed the harry potter reference they originally had in the game. Which means that if you still consume hp content and talk about it, you are doing worse than fucking capcom

[patchoulimodelo]

Palestinian fighters take position during an israeli army incursion in the West Bank city of Jenin, December 22, 2003.

(Photo credit: Saif Dahlah/AFP)