patrisya

[patrisya]

Wow hello.

wow. Hello?? It’s been way too long. I’ve been reading my past posts and I feel like a completely different person. Wtf. You go through life everyday, thinking nothing’s changed, but look back 2, 3, 5 years ago and you’ll realise so many things have changed. So much of the stuff I wrote I can’t even remember anymore. My private crazygirl tumblr is full of letters to boys I can’t even remember anymore.

I keep meaning to post more so I can look back on something, like what I’m doing now. It’s a good introspection exercise. But knowing myself... i’ll probably forget about this for the next 2 yrs.

i feel like ever since Jinggoy and I got together I lost time for “myself”, you know, time to write in a blog, time to read, etc. not that he takes up all of my time, we give each other a wide berth, but... Maybe I just don’t feel like doing this when he’s around.

Anyway. dear future self if you’re reading this... You were in bed on a tues night, preparing for bed. jinggoy is at Melbourne for a week long fieldwork. Covid 19 happened last year (lmao why does this feel anne frank ish). Australia did well and nsw has had only 2 cases in the last 3 months. Last week, you met new people you like. Last last week, you went to your first easter show with 60k people. You didn’t post it then in case there will be an outbreak haha. There’s none. Next next week you are planning to go to a taylor swift party alone.

you’re working for nca earning decently. You still think nca is dodgy af but dont really care. Oh, last last yr you got laid off and you were sad but it landed you the nca gig which paid sooooo much better soooo.. blessing in these skies chz

You bought your condo last jan. huh, who would’ve thunk right? It’s been your lifelong dream to buy a property. I’m proud of you...

ok enough catch up. what about what you feel?

first.. Im thinking of going childfree. Which is ironic, now that you can finally afford having a child. Idk, maybe this will change in 1, 2, 3 yrs. maybe not.

I feel like there’s still so much to write about but I’m too tired. Fuck, my attention span is at the shortest ever. Social media ruined it.

bye word vomit

[patrisya]

Hey how ya been

My last post was 18th Feb. Was it 2018? 2017? Probably 2017. Wow. How are you???? So many things have happened since then. I’m typing this from my office at Alexandria. (hello future self, this is your first job in Australia!!!). Hello past self, I know you would never have thought we’d end up here. Huh. Are ya proud of your girl? She’s building a life for herself.

It’s scary, it’s overwhelming.. But it also feels fine. It feels right.

I want to write a longer post but I’m at work so...hopefully I get to write more often here again.

[patrisya]

Not posting this on FB because it's full of bigots and hypocrites but I just can't let this issue go. So here are my patola thoughts (not in any way organized):

1) Pacquiao on LGBT "Mas masahol pa sa hayop" - no getting around this. You cannot justify this with logic nor religion. This is wrong in all aspects. Di ka diyos para mag judge ng ganyan. 2) I think Pacquiao's opinion was asked not as an individual, but because he's running for Senate. A policymaker job is to protect the rights of his constituents. 3) I hope people who are quick to oppose same sex marriage realize that it is *CIVIL* SSM that LGBT are fighting for. NOT church. 4) (As a background, I'm not a devout Christian, I don't believe in the bible as the absolute truth, rather as a guide on how to be a good person. I believe in God and I have a personal relationship with him, and I read the bible from time to time. I just don't believe that you should take everything there as is. Not very good with the bible but I recall there are some rules there that you can't eat seafood without scales, you cannot eat meat of animals without hooves, some rules about stoning people to death, etc etc.) Regardless of my personal belief though, I respect those who choose to follow verses prohibiting same sex relationships. BUT: 5) Section 6, Article 2 of the 1987 Philippine Constitution states that "Separation of the church and state is inviolable". 6) Consequently, policymakes (*cough*Pacquiao*cough*) should be able to make decisions unaffected by his religious views. While we are a predominantly Christian nation, there are still muslims, buddhists or atheists. Our law is for everyone. Not just for the majority. Our law should protect everybody, regardless of religion. 7) So why are LGBT fighting for *civil* same sex marriage? So they could be better protected by our law and enjoy benefits of married persons under the law. Because it is their right. I'm not an expert of the Family Code and I'm lazy to research more, but as an accountant, I know for a fact that married persons enjoy more tax deductions if they file joint ITRs. They could probably enjoy more benefits regarding properties, or when adopting a child etc but I'm not sure with the details.... Anyway. 8) For me, this is a right that everyone should have. I read a comment that they DO have the right, it's just that they have to marry the opposite sex to exercise it. And that is the point. THEY DON'T WANT to marry the opposite sex. Their soulmates are of the same gender. It's not a "privilege" to create a law allowing them to marry their same sex soulmate. It's who they are. And our country should accept them. 9) Again, if you are a Christian and you are against it because the bible says so, I respect it. You are entitled to that. But the LGBT shouldn't be deprived of rights in the eyes of the law because again, in the first place, the Church and the State should be separated. 10) I asked somebody how is SSM wrong, other than because it's forbidden in the bible (will it affect you, will it hurt you, will it kill you, will it take something away from you, etc). She couldn't answer and just kept referring back to what's written in the bible. 11) On the other hand, the LGBT community could have handled this better. They could have taken this opportunity to educate people, instead most of them just gave out spiteful comments (i.e., Vice Ganda). But then again, I can't blame them, after all they were just told they are "masahol pa sa hayop". Still, they could have used this to gain awareness. 12) This is my official entry for the 2016 Essay Writing Contest haha k tnx I've said my piece will stop reading Facebook comments haha bye

[patrisya]

FINALLY watched Star Wars. waaaah cried 3x, first when the opening credits "a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away" was shown, next when the Millenium Falcon flew, last was when Han Solo got killed. I don't care if it's a lot like A New Hope, for me it's just the right amount of nostalgia. I was too young to watch the prior films on screen so I cried when I saw A long time ago in a galaxy far far away haha! Thank you for creating such a great movie!!! I was never a critic, I liked Phantom Menace kaya. I loved everything. It's more than a nerdy love. It's something more personal because I went through personal stuff about the time when I discovered Star Wars. Whenever I'm depressed I watch. When I'm studying for exams I keep it on the background. It's been a big part of my life and right now my heart is just too happy to be finally watching a new one!!! Dami sinabi, can't wait for the next!!!!!!! Putting this on record because this is a milestone. Haha

[patrisya]

I am just so sad today and I’ve got nowhere to go

[patrisya]

Gilas goes to finals

So this was what I had been missing on... From having no idea what/how to talk to a boy, to telling (almost) everything to one. Meeting halfway... Days when you dislike each other... To days when you cannot even bear to just *think* about being apart. Like today. There wasn't even a grand gesture. Heck, there wasn't even a small gesture. It was just an ordinary Friday night, me falling asleep beside you watching the Gilas game. I don't think I had ever been more in love.

[patrisya]

Ya, you never said a word You didn't write me no letter Don't think I could forgive you

[patrisya]

[patrisya]

Don’t you dare Shrink yourself For someone else’s comfort - Do not become small For people who refuse to grow.

[patrisya]

She was the first to welcome me to the Cariaga household - her tail wagging, smiling, eager to be petted. That's how I will remember her.

The countless Saturday afternoons spent at the couch, watching a movie, with her and Hotdog sleeping at the floor. Photos of Hotdog trying to hump her (lol). Her manly barks reserved only for askals. Collene's tiny hands tugging at her golden fur. And the most peaceful Saturday night ever - outside their house, with the stars and the December breeze, her peaceful companionship.

I like this photo of you, even though your coat is not as shiny as it used to be, even though your face is all white- your face says you lived a long, happy life. This is how I will remember you.

Your family's hearts are breaking. I'm sure you don't want to leave your humans yet. But you are our angel now. Thank you for your love.

[patrisya]

Naiyak ako

Photographer Mattias Klum from National Geographic gets close and personal with a lion.

[patrisya]

Like when I would still include Jinggoy in my prayers long after my crush have come and gone, just because it has been habit. Like when I would finish countless cycles of novena to Father Pio, praying for tuition money. All these, I got and more. Thank You. I promise to become a better person everyday, if this could be my small way of paying you back.

[patrisya]

I didn't think I had a resting bitch face, but a grade school teacher once told me off for looking maldita while listening to her discussion. What?!?!? Between us, I thought she was the one with the attitude problem because she picks at grade school girls (me) LOL Nonetheless, I became very conscious of my facial expressions during lessons after that. It was only now that I realized I shouldn't be taking shit like that from my teachers. (Like when my kinder teacher would spank our hands with a ruler & I only told my mom recently & she got really angry. Ms. Flores, if you are reading this, my mom would like to talk to you haha) I will remember to reassure my future children to always, always tell me about school.

[patrisya]

Lies we tell our kids.  Found this from the postsecret blog.

[patrisya]

[patrisya]

2001: a space odyssey (1968) dir. stanley kubrick

[patrisya]

IM CRYING SHE CHOSE HER OUTFIT OVER SHOWING HER DATES FACE ! SAME