paulasg-in-creppy-wonderland - Tumblr blog

[paulasg-in-creppy-wonderland]

I don't want therapy I want vengeance!!!

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I hate being left alone with my thoughts 🎶

So taday me and my family went to the mall to eat, and there's this shop that sells geometric bags.

I poited the store to my mom as I stop for a secon at the top of the escalator, I'm to the right she could have past me, instead she told me "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, DON'T YOU SEE I'M BEHIND YOU." Now there was a lot of noise, but she was rude about it, not just loud. So understandably I got a tad bit annoyed and reply "well then, won't tell you anything else then" as I went downstairs to cach up with my dad and brother.

All good, because frankly is whatever, until mom decided to ask my bro why I got annoyed, even though I think is obvious as this type of situations happen quite a lot, and says "I don't know but she is steric."

Now I'm piss, because this is why me and my mom have many comunicacion issues. Whenever my brother is around and I get annoyed he automatically says I'm steric, why in fact makes me really angry, but also cuts any chance I had of my mom actually listening to me. Because no mater what it is, no matter how valid my annoyance is, he invalidates me and makes my mom do the same.

So I told my mom she could had past me and that she didn't had to be rude about it, now visibly annoyed with her, 'cause now I'm defensive, thanks a lot bro. So she get defensive, so my dad quickly cuts us off, because both my mom and I will keep going, because I would try to explain what bothers me, but my mom will keep trying to either justify her self or invalidate me saying I'm to sensible.

But she keeps saying that I was on the way, even though I wasn't. Actually anyone could had passed me no problem, but then again that doesn't matter to her.

So now something I wouldn't had thought about it twice, make me really annoyed and now I'm really piss with my brother, way more that I could had been with mom.

The worse part is that he knows this, he confessed long ago that he founds it funny when I get mad "out of the blue" even though I have stayed multiple times what bothers me. And I had pointed it out many times to my mom and she always says she forgets. And that I have "unpredictable" responses because everyone keeps doing shit they know bothers me, and it builds up. Till I go 🌋

Is like, I'm old enough to know my needs aren't being meet, but I'm also to old to complain. They say I complain about everything but, I keep complaining because I can't change you, I try my best to not react, but again it builds up.

I often feel ignored in this house, I always have. I can't cry, I can't get mad, I can't get annoyed, Iam not aloud to feel bad, if they are around. Most of the time I don't even speak to them when I'm annoyed because of all of what I say.

The other day I cry because the printer wasn't working and I needed it to work for assignment due to that day, so naturally I was stress out, we still don't know what the hell the error it show. Long story short the printer wasn't being recognized by windows and I had to call my dad to check where was the cable to directly connected it to the computer, had to move the printer to my room for that project. Fun. I cry just a bit and no one could help me much any way, like my dad almost didn't pick up the phone 'cause he had class (he is the teacher) and he's class is two hours, Ihad two hours at that point. I wasn't being loud or anything mum wasn't even on the second floor. She just come upstairs she me upset and rather than confort me in any shape or form she just go "You crying again? You ain't fixing any like that" no shit Sherlock. Don't you say! I'm crying 'cause I'm stress, no because it can fix shit! No body cries because of that! I cry because it helps me calm down. Why it works that way, I don't know. But it does. Not your unwanted comentary. I literally ask you nothing .

And listen I'm dramatic, I know I'm, but literally is between me, myself and I. Is like i haven't been living in this house for 24 almost 25 years. And you wonder where the depression came from.

TL:DR

I feel invalidated by my family and it makes me feel like shit 😁

[paulasg-in-creppy-wonderland]

yeah id lie too

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How cute Huey can be ? Like, his max cuteness level ?

mewborn Huey was pretty cute, 

have some maximum cute

he’s gotten to be a big boy

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[paulasg-in-creppy-wonderland]

Just thinking about Hollow Knight 😔👏💖💕✨

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this is literally the only good character design trope

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Lara Hacker on Instagram

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[paulasg-in-creppy-wonderland]

Sometimes I wish there was a way for me to swim along side the stars and did´t need to breath... But then there is this knot in my throat that reminds me that unfortunately for me that is not possible, and I most continue to go forward in a reality that some time I love, and sometimes I hate...  

[paulasg-in-creppy-wonderland]

machote

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Artist’s sh*tpost dilemma.

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Pieces of Viking pottery with traces of cat and dog paws, seen at the Musée de Normandie in Caen Castle

“So back in the day pets already ruined their owner’s artwork.” - My sis who took the photo

[paulasg-in-creppy-wonderland]

This went from the nightmare of a typographer to a more or less funcional alphabet. Congrats tumblr. 

fun fact about me is that when i was a kid id write capital E’s with as many of those little horizontal lines as possible and id call them ladder E’s and adults fucking hated them

[paulasg-in-creppy-wonderland]

Is ironic that abstract emotions are easy to describe, but that because they are free for interpretation rather that being and establish action that every body can do/see, therefore you are force to follow an specific path of description, while everybody can describe love, for example, in a different way, and most likely you will always know is love. 

what people think is hard about writing: describing the joy, love, beauty, grief, loss and hope that form the richness of human experience

what is actually hard about writing: describing basic actions such as turning, leaning over, reclining, gesturing, saying something in a quiet voice, breathing, getting up from chairs, and walking across rooms