pavardscherie - Tumblr blog

[pavardscherie]

don't worry! take your time, and if that time doesn't come that's totally OK too 🥰 how have you been? what has life been up to? any thoughts on Benji going to Inter? I hope you're doing well, I'm sending lots of love you way !

oh it will come back, i know that. just never for long which is weird af for me. 😂

life’s been messy and full of one piece tbh.

lemme say, i do miss benji so much on bayern. he’s a huge loss for the team, especially because he’s been a quite reliable player and such. at least he was the reason to watch those games for me so, tonight i won’t have anything to cheer for bayern slightly. 🙈

i think it’s a good step for him, he got quite a couple of trophies and titles with bayern and there’s always a next step in football. i will still follow him and read the news about him. ☺️

[pavardscherie]

izzy when u come back we need some benji angst/smut abt him going to inter and this whole new chapter in his life 😮‍💨

hi you!

once i truly have the mood again to write about football players, i will totally do that. at the moment it’s rather rare so, we’ll. 😵‍💫

[pavardscherie]

girl where r u pavard went to inter 😭😭

gotta say, i did not expect him to transfer anymore.

[pavardscherie]

Would you write Kylian Mbappé?

sure thing. 😌

[pavardscherie]

dad!pedri would be such a proud man while showing off the little three month old son to his teammates. he denied posting pictures or even any meeting before paulo’s little three month anniversary, because he’s that protective of the precious being, he helped create.

carrying paulo around in his arms, face carefully hidden underneath the soft barcelona blanket as he walked towards the changing rooms. the cameras weren’t allowed to see what paulo looked like, he despised the noisy behavior towards your son so much. always glancing annoyed at the paparazzi and casually walking past people who tried to interview him. it was all about paulo as soon as he was around.

[pavardscherie]

11 with erling Haaland plss

“did you really think, i wouldn’t see it?” erling muttered against the shell of your ear. his voice a poisonous mixture of raspy and deep. the choice of words he used in the past hour have been nothing else than pure evil. just like his actions. the endless teasing of his fingers, pulling them out before you completely reached your orgasm.

the multiple denials, only because a deep, painful jealousy gnawed at his heart. erling’s hawk eyes found you in the crowd after the game, and were forced to witness an indescribable scene. the sweet giggles, which were like the peaceful melody of an angel, escaped your mouth so carelessly. that man, dressed in the signature baby blue jersey raised an arm. fingertips slowly caressed over your smooth skin. just a small contact, someone’s dirty and unworthy hands touching what belonged to him.

the celebration was forgotten, skipped without an apology as erling almost forcefully dragged you towards the car. it was exactly how you ended up, sprawled out on the double sized bed. legs spread, trembling and too heavy to even lift them an inch. erling’s hips snapped against yours, the warm arousal glistened on the insides of your thighs and left wet stains on the duvets beneath.

a hand buried in the long blonde strands of the footballer. short nails scratching over his scalp while his red-covered face was nuzzled into the side of your neck. “you’re mine, you get that?” his grunts interrupted the sentences, the deep breaths between the words caused a dark satisfaction to settle in between you and him.

“are you listening? you’re fucking mine. none of those dirty bastards are allowed to touch you so sincere.” with each spoken syllables, erling slammed his hips against your. diving deep into your warmth and wetness, spreading you out further than the weeks before and growing the force. “tell me.”

he ordered, stilling his hips. the tip of his erected dick stayed between your pussy lips, preparing for another thrust. but he wouldn’t give you the allowance for a release if you wouldn’t be able to obey him. head thrown back, strands scattered around your head and over the pillows. eyes closed tightly, mouth widely open and prepared to feel the indescribable waves of pleasure and ecstasy. “i’m yours, erling. only yours.” you whimpered, bottom lip quivering from the intensity of the treatment.

and who would he be if his puffy lips wouldn’t turn upwards, the satisfaction written in the curve of his smirk. “good girl.” he whispered against your ear, focusing back on the rough punishment. one more thrust, two, it was enough to send you into a world filled with bliss. and erling mumbling the word ‘mine’ over and over again as he helped you through the waves, made it difficult to calm down.

[pavardscherie]

yes.

[pavardscherie]

Number 3 with Benji?💗

benjamin was ready to take the next step in his career. bayern munich always treated him good, he became a key player in their defense and played each game if he wasn't booked too many times. still, he shared his deepest thoughts with you. another country yelled his name, lured him in and promised a fight to claim another championship. benjamin was prepared to leave Germany behind and set foot into another football club, but for you, it was much more difficult.

leaving behind friends and family, moving away to another country because long distance would be the murder of your relationship. his schedule was always packed, he spent more hours away than with you together while you shared a house. it would be impossible to manage if he would be so many hours away. but you wouldn't want him to travel to another country on his own, it would break your heart to see him leave without you and knowing, he won't come back to you any time soon.

those worst-case scenarios bothered your mind for days since the night, benjamin shared his decision with you before telling the headquarters of bayern munich about it. he needed your acceptance. staring at the chandelier on the ceiling, you could not focus on the movie, benjamin picked for the date night at home. and who would he be if he didn't notice way too quickly how your mind wandered, and you disappeared from the reality into a prison of negativity.

"cherie, what's taking you away?" his gentle voice caught you off guard, immediately cutting the string of scenarios and pulling you back to the current situation. sprawled out in bed, benjamin's arm around you and used as a pillow by your head.

you did not want to ruin the mood, the little date and fruit plate he prepared with the melted chocolate in the middle. it was one of those days where he could leave the pitch earlier than the weeks before. "it's nothing, just tired." you replied, nuzzling your face into the curve of his neck to hide the embarrasement spreading a deep cherry red blush across the span of your cheeks.

"it's about the upcoming transfer, isn't it? you've been awfully quiet since i've told you my decision, cherie." you didn't need to say another word, after all, you couldn't even agree with him because hurting him after accepting what he wanted or his future. trying to hide your face further in his neck, benjamin reacted way too quickly, scooting slightly away to glance at your bright red features.

"cherie, there's nothing to worry about, i told you that." he muttered, his voice so gentle, so quiet like a beautifully sung lullaby to lure you into the land of dreams. calloused fingertips caressed over your right temple, taking a thin strand of hair between his digits and brushing it back behind your ear. "i love you, i love you so so much, it's impossible to find the right words. it doesn't matter where it takes us, spain, italy or maybe england, i'm always by your side, always with you because you're my heart. cherie, you're my world, i would break apart without you."

[pavardscherie]

Benji 1 <3

you knew you were safe, you always were when he was around.

the crowds gathered in front of the entrance to the stadium, the catacombs and vip area almost closed by the supporters who tried to receive an autograph or a picture before the game. you met a couple of fans, most of them were pretty nice but others couldn’t contain their whispers of jealousy.

yet, benjamin always made sure that you were feeling good around the crowds. as soon as he witnessed the slightest amount of discomfort twisting your features, he excused himself and led you away from the screaming fans. this time, it was no different.

his calloused fingers laced between your slender ones, thumb carefully trying to draw small circles on the back of your hand while walking. fans in bayern munich jerseys gathered in the arena, blocking a couple of ways and completely screaming names from the top of their lungs.

but benjamin did not stop this time. not because he didn’t want to talk to them and exchange a couple of thank you for the support. it was more likely because he felt how your fingernails started to leave crescent shapes on his skin. the discomfort came quickly, the pretty girls with their phones and wide smiles adding a pinch of insecurity to your mood.

so he led you through the crowds, a half smile on his lips and whispering sincere apologies to the ones with the number five in white on their crimson red jerseys. and you knew it was impossible to fall even more in love with the curly-haired french defender, but the feelings grew with each situation.

the way, he cared so much, and guided you safely towards the entrance of the vip area. the way, he immediately felt the change of your mood and could name the small hints for it, without you saying a word to him.

[pavardscherie]

number 10 with benji?🫶🏻

calloused fingers slowly danced over the length of your right thigh. taking in every precious inch of your body, while concentrating on the ways your hips circled perfectly over his. buried deeply inside of your warmth, juices covering his rock hard dick and spreading over his balls.

yet, he didn’t allow you to start the usual routine. jumping up and down in his length, squeezing him tightly with your walls and triggering his orgasm before he pushed you into a haze of pleasure. it was in the cards tonight as benjamin’s plans differed.

he wanted to take his time tonight, feeling and touching every inch of your body for as long as he could. only a couple of days were left before he had to travel back to france to play for the national team, and you could not accompany him.

the span of his warm palms fit perfectly against the curve of your waist, slowly lifting you up. veins popped out, the most remarkable one being the one on the side of his throat. a tad of dark blue, almost a deep purple, against the pale skin with the blemished red spots.

“so impatient, yet so beautiful.” the french defender chuckled to himself, the right corner of his dry mouth lifted ever so lightly. his warm spine was pressed against the cold, black leather of the king sized bed, his hazelnut orbs traveled across your needy body multiple times in a row.

slowly, almost painfully, benjamin used the placement of his hands to guide your waist downwards again. disappearing in the warmth of your cunt for an uncountable time, he let his head fall back and an almost animalistic growl erupted from deep within his chest. the sound he made, and the image he showed you, was enough to know that this time, you were allowed to move.

[pavardscherie]

2 with benji

his heavy pants filled your ears. the way he muttered your name so sweetly in between with the french accent you loved so dearly. it didn’t matter how sweaty he already was, when benjamin arrived at home. a particular hard training session which lasted way too long for your liking.

but it also gave you the greatest opportunity to play a little game with your boyfriend. one picture was enough to have him speeding home, and wandering straight towards your bedroom, with you in his arms. those same limbs that were draped over benjamin’s broad shoulders. colored nails scratched over his already tanned skin, leaving thin lines of red in different shapes all over his back and spine.

with each new attempt of spreading more claw marks over his body, benjamin’s teeth found your earlobe. teeth carefully biting on the sensitive skin, coaxing another loud, sinful sound out of your throat. “i love you so much, cherie.” he muttered, groans interrupting the heartwarming confession as your warm walls tightened around his dick.

the words, he spoke with all the gentleness in the world, and meant with his entire heart, pushed you over the edge quickly. his accent, which only got thicker the more he pounded into you, made it difficult to resist the incoming waves of ecstasy and pleasure.

[pavardscherie]

definitely in the mood for little drabbles. if you like to read a small paragraph, send me a name, and and choose one of the numbers / topics below! 🤍

1 ;; fluffy drabbling

2 ;; the usual smut

3 ;; love confessions

4 ;; date day/night

5 ;; first meetings

6 ;; ex lovers

7 ;; best friends sister

8 ;; falling in love with a fan

9 ;; overstimulation

10 ;; soft lovey dovey sex

11 ;; jealousy jealousy smut

[pavardscherie]

Izzy I'm sick too but hope you'll feel better soon 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

hope you get better very very soon! 🤍

oh, it’s just a little summer flu. i’m always getting those kind of things when the weather’s changing constantly. 🫣

but thank you babe! 🤍

[pavardscherie]

Izzy my love how are youuuu🫶🏽

hi hello babe! 🤍

i’m good today, the weather is killing me but it’s fine. but, how are you, love?

[pavardscherie]

take your time love, no pressure at all 🤍🤍🤍 I'm just happy to hear abt you! I'm sending you lots of love and hoping things get much better soon 🫶🏻 as for Benji, I'm sad as well especially because I started loving bayern bc of him so now I feel kinda empty. I just know this summer transfer window will be a complete headache because he keeps getting linked to big clubs yet nothing is definite yet. As a madridista I'd love to see him play here hahaha but honestly I just want him to join a team that appreciates him and where he feels happy 😭 he looks so excited these days, I can't wait for his upcoming matches with France ! Take care Izzy you're a kind soul that deserves the world 🤍🫡

well, taking my time worked good as i just posted the second part to the benji fic haha. 🫣

lemme say, i will stay in denial until i know he signed another contract. i do think my biggest problem with his transfer is, that most big clubs who want or wanted him have kind of their main defender’s or main squad. i don’t want him to just be a choice for the bench because he doesn’t deserve that. sure, it could happen the first few matches but imagine an entire season like that, just because you’re team is that good and has like a main player on that position he loves to play.

i’ve never gotten a pavard jersey either. :(

you take care and stay healthy! i love u. 🤍

[pavardscherie]

— if we ever meet again ;; part two

⤷ summary: you were a player on the female team of bayern münchen but transferred for a better chance. your relationship with benjamin ended because he couldn't handle the distance from munich to dortmund. once, you meet again, and you have a new partner, things get complicated again. ⤷ warnings: mature themes, angst, fluff, hurt & comfort, break-ups, a hint at depression, heartbreak, confused reader, cheating ⤷ izzy talks: the second part is finally here?? i mean, i took so long and I'm so freaking sorry or that but i just had those lovely writer blocks. like too many times :(

you knew you shouldn’t be here. but how was it possible to deny an injured lucas hernandez a wish?

tickets for a very much vip seat in the front of the stands, exactly what you imagined he would torture you with. if it wouldn’t be enough to see benjamin play today, you would have to witness the mood changes and how attractive he looked especially in the bright crimson-red for at least ninety minutes.

but it also happened to be the perfect timing to take out the dusty red jacket from the far right corner of your wardrobe. the emblem of bayern munich sewed on the front, left side and the initials of your name underneath it. the times were beautiful, welcomed by the entire team and loved by many. yet, your journey led you into the arms of the enemy club.

“there she is, our golden girl.” lucas’ french accent mixed with the german words caused a spark of amusement inside of you. it was always rather hilarious to listen to him, ranting about a match and mixing french with german. it almost reminded you of benjamin.

hands deeply in the pockets of the thick jacket, the cold weather made it difficult to stand still on the spot. you turned, opening the arms quickly to greet an injured lucas and the two men, which accompanied him. manuel neuer, hidden underneath a baseball cap and still in the healing process of broken bones, and behind him, strolled a carefree defender. benjamin pavard.

“what the hell?” you pointed at the number five of the bayern munich team, shocked about seeing him in the stands. “why are you here?”

“what a nice way to greet a friend.” benjamin retorted, rolling the eyes. a sarcastic smile tugged on the corners of his mouth, casually overplaying the surprise he felt. lucas didn’t mention your appearance with one word.

“no, i didn’t mean it like that. it’s like, well, shouldn’t you be on the field? like you know, playing with the team because you’re on the team?” you rambled on and on, gesturing wildly through the cold air with one hand.

the entire scene broke out in a wave of amusement. at least for lucas and manuel, who watched the awkwardness unfold.

“can’t.” ben shrugged the shoulders nonchalantly, tilting the head to the side to watch the warm up of the two teams. psg, the return match.

eyebrows raised, confusion twisted in your facial expression. there were multiple reasons why he could not be on the pitch tonight but benjamin didn’t give a reason to his statement. “he’s suspended. two yellow cards.” lucas explained with a chuckle, patting the shoulder of his best friend.

“a second bookable offense?” your brows furrowed, recalling the past matches of bayern munich you have seen. yet, you didn’t recall one where benjamin was sent off the pitch. “against who?”

“psg.” benjamin’s gaze drifted, landing on the gentle features of your face, twisted in a deep confusion. “made a very stupid pass and risked the leveler. had to stop the ball or messi, kind of ended with me completely slide-tackling him down and receiving the second card.”

“tackling lionel messi is something you can’t do every single day. and not many have the courage to even go against him like that. so, good job, benji.” showing him a thumbs up for the action, you smiled at him. but the way, his name sounded like a beautiful melody the moment you spoke it, made his heart skip a beat. it slipped past your lips nonchalantly, but had such an effect on him.

gulping down the mixture of spit and air in his tightened throat, benjamin tilted the head away from your angelic features. the smallest smile could be his downfall, and the painful memories would gnaw on his heart again. exactly what he didn’t need today. the upcoming game and it’s importance was already nerve wrecking enough for the suspended defender.

the shift in his behavior didn’t go unnoticed. but lucas promised himself to make it work between the two of you for a second time. stepping to the side, he sat down in one of the more comfortable seats, reserved for the vip guests while manuel settled down in the one on your left. leaving, much to benjamin’s demise, the two middle ones open for you and him.

while the referee, his assistants and the captain of each team met in the middle of the pitch, benjamin sat down and scooted closer to lucas’ side. unfortunately for him, you witnessed how he wiggled further away from you while sitting down. the emptiness in your stomach returned, and this time, it added a heavy feeling. you wanted to run away, forget about how he casually kept the conversation with you short, and would even rather sit in hernandez lap than close to you.

what you didn’t know was, that ben already reminisced. the scent of cherry blossom and a faint vanilla infiltrated his nostrils, your favorite perfume lingered in the air and it drove him crazy. he did not remember how often he bought a new bottle of it, just to exchange the empty one and surprise you with the thoughtful gesture.

both teams proved their value and excellence while the first half went on. manuel muttered multiple curse words when the ball flew past the goal, and another attempt of increasing the score of the first match failed. on your right side, lucas and benjamin engaged in a conversation mixed with german and french words. it was calm in the stands except the hardcore fans of bayern munich. they never stopped chanting their lyrics, clapping and playing the drum.

you were completely focused on the match, watching the players of bayern munich take control over the game. comfortably leaned back in the chair, legs crossed over one another, you pulled your hands out of the warm pockets of your jacket and placed them on the armrests.

manicured nails didn’t touch the soft material of the chair, instead your soft fingertips stroke over the veiny backhand of the one person sitting on your right. just a couple of seconds ago, benjamin retreated to a normal seating position and draped his arms over the rest. as soon as he felt the lingering touch of soft fingertips, he pulled his arm away.

the small touch, the seconds of being able to be close to benjamin again, created shivers up your arms. a feeling, you should not have anymore after finding another partner and slowly moving on from the past. exactly where the defender should belong.

benjamin sat straight in his seat. any thoughts about the game vanished and his mind went completely blank. he wanted to feel your warmth again after the long hug a couple of weeks ago. yet, he knew it was impossible after seeing the loving interactions between you and your new boyfriend for the rest of the night. the small glances in his direction were created by his imagination, at least it was what benjamin thought.

„aye manu, let’s get drinks for the group.“ lucas shouted past the pair of ex lovers towards the goalkeeper, waving his hand repeatedly. the breath you just inhaled, got stuck in your windpipe as your throat painfully tightened. the thought of being alone with benjamin in the middle of the arena made it extremely difficult to focus at all.

he clouded your mind, and easily erased any other thought. even the fact that your boyfriend was at work, and waited in dortmund for your return tomorrow. the two males disappeared faster than wanted at all, leaving you in an uncomfortable silence.

being around him was toxic for your relationship. the curve of his lips threatened the steady connection between you and your boyfriend. the way his scent infiltrated your nostrils and clouded your mind completely. the images of your boyfriend’s face vanished. a long gaze into his promising, hickory coloured eyes pulled you deeper under his spell again.

for a second time, you experienced the anxiety of being close to benjamin. small parts of him that twisted your mind until his name and his features were the last thought. there was no escape from falling madly, there never was for you after ben confessed, he never gave up the last spark of hope.

„you can avoid me but ignoring me is kind of harsh.“ you remarked about his behavior towards you while holding a conversation. without lucas‘ interference, you still would question why benjamin wasn’t present on the pitch. „looking at you makes me weak.“ he replied, keeping his gaze on the empty pitch after the referee ended the first half.

your stomach twisted around a feeling which was hard to define. discomfort about being his weakness, surprise about what you still did to him or even bashfulness about the sweet confession. it was indescribable and deep. „what do you mean?“ you needed an answer. a clear statement to identify what kind of feeling occupied your empty stomach.

„it doesn’t matter.“ benjamin shrugged his shoulder as if he attempted to brush off the topic of the conversation for a second time. he never gave a clear statement, or truly said the words that occupied his mind. the unbearable desire of kissing you deeply, losing himself once more to your soft touch, and giving up the control over his broken heart. you could mend the pieces, puzzle it back together but it would fall apart again, when you drove to your new home. the arms of your boyfriend.

grief dominated benjamin's broken self, the confidence he showed, only a cold mask to hide his emotions. you reached out for him, wanting to have the conversation badly and mend the pieces, he left destroyed. but when merely your fingertips grazed over the wrinkled fabric of his sweater, benjamin reacted way too quickly and scooted further towards lucas‘ empty seat. lips pulled into a frown, the distance made it difficult to believe that even the slightest spark was left. you should not feel defeated by a failed attempt after being the one that clearly moved on with someone new. yet, you could not get benjamin and his sweet attitude out of your mind. the minutes of the halftime break ticked away, the players already walked back onto the field, talking to each other and their coach about the tactics and techniques they planned.

"it was never meant to end like this, you know that, benjamin."

oh, how his name rolled so perfectly off the tip of your tongue. perfectly spoken, perfectly emphasized. so sweet, his heart wanted to jump out of his chest. fingertips dug into the soft, red leather of the seat, attempting to resist the desire to touch you, hug you, just feel you again in some way. the referee's whistle echoed through the allianz arena, announcing the second half of the important game against paris saint-germain. at the same time, manuel carefully walked through the row to reach his seat on your left, and handed you one of the cups filled with cola.

and while lucas returned, smiling widely at the two ex-lovers, benjamin muttered a french sentence and pushed his body up to leave the stands. a cup in each hand, lucas tilted the head to watch after his best friend, confusion twisted in his features. the uncomfortable feeling in your stomach reminded you of his words, the statement he made, and a confession about how much your attendance bothered him. fingers closed around the bridge of your nose, the pads massaged the skin slightly as you tried to make a decision. following benjamin could lead to another heated argument, another moment you wanted to prevent and ruin the last, little piece of friendship or admiration that was left like a thin line between the two of you.

on the other hand, you did feel responsible for the undeniable change in benjamin's mood over the past minutes. it was impossible to ignore the fact, that your surprising appearance caused shyness and nervousness to wash over him. not being his usual self, the cheerful lad with a mixture of languages while trying to express his opinion. the slight edge to his words because of his accent, and the cute smile plastered across his face because he never met a level of endless sadness; at least at the times before you left. "i think i should look after him." lucas interrupted the trail of your thoughts, trying to point a hand over his shoulder but immediately failing with the cups tightly in his grip. leaning down towards the seats to place them in the prepared holders on each side, you mirrored his action. "maybe, i should go." you suggested, ignoring the doubts of making things much more complicated than needed.

instead of protesting, hernandez nodded his head repeatedly. after all, it was all along his plan to bring back together what belonged to each other. distance was a strong reason for a break up, but it was also not enough to decline the happiness, he was able to witness over months. while leaving for dortmund was your journey, you’ve taken any inch of benjamin’s heart with you.

without you, he forgot what the word love meant. without you, the happiness stopped glistening in his beautiful chestnut eyes. without you, the curl of his mouth was merely real; forced to satisfy the people around him and avoid questions would be a better choice of description. lucas’ attempts of inviting benjamin to a night out, to a couple of drinks to drown his sorrows, were declined without overthinking. losing you, and in the end even to another man, removed the colors of benji’s world so easily.

pushing past the crowds that gathered on the stairs, you caught benjamin’s gaze on the top of the section. calloused palms firmly placed against the barricade, staring down at the pitch with a stern expression. except for the pushed together brows, not even a muscle twitched until his eyes landed on your moving figure. a simple glance at you, ended in a fluttery feeling in the pit of his stomach. butterflies spread, wanting to be felt deeply. turning away, benjamin never missed a match of his team, no matter if he was suspended or injured but this time, he did not carry enough bravery to stay and have a decent conversation with you.

it pained him immensely to have you by his side, and knowing the fact that you truly were not by his side anymore. the pain was deeply anchored inside of benjamin. anchored to his heart, demanding to be felt when he forced himself to at least glance at you. walking through the almost empty corridors, the whispering of the fans and the sound of his name being shouted by some drowned out as he marched towards to the catacombs. the locker room were the only place where he could find a minute to himself.

what he did not expect was how easily the guards let you through as well. once a bayern munich player, the securities always remembered the faces. the desire to find his old self again followed with each step like a dangerous shadow, a darkness that reminded him he was missing a piece to ever become whole again.

running his sweaty palms over his face, benjamin inhaled deeply to calm down the pulsating veins. the sweet smell of your perfume, the one he loved way too much, lingered still in his nostrils. five minutes away from you wasn't enough to forget the tempting offer to ravish you, love you, feel you for a second time. it grew with any given second, the tips of his fingers tickled as the desire rose to new highs. levels, he has never been at before.

maybe, he could compare it to the same mixture of feelings he went through, the first night he had you sprawled out on his king-sized bed. naked, legs spread and the wetness glistening in the dim light of the lamps. better than he imagined, and pushing him further into a love-filled haze as his fingertips danced over your heated skin. but right now, when benjamin was trying to forget how much he still adored, admired, and loved you, those thoughts bothered his mind more than usual. rough pads against his temples, he started to massage the tensed skin; a headache announcing itself through the slight, piercing pain.

alone in the corridors between the pitch and the locker room, the place benjamin visited too often during a game when the referee booked him for the fifth time or twice on the same day. he's been here, multiple times, but the ghost of you, the sweet glances glistening with undeniable innocence, has never haunted him before. when lucas informed him, that he was slowly breaking away from reality, benjamin did not believe the words, chuckling about such foolish conclusions. but he has been right about it as his thoughts were occupied by your gentle face.

„benjamin.“ you spoke ever-so-gently, the thick walls of the corridor carried your sweet words towards his ear. another time, you said his full name, the way he adored the sound of the syllables way too much. the desire, he could not deny anymore as his stomach twisted and turned with admiration.

while you stood there so beautifully, innocent written over your posture, benjamin wanted to curse you for putting another spell on him. for making it so difficult to fall out of love with you. for never being able to truly despise you for choosing your career over a relationship with him, because somewhere, in the furthest corner of his heart, he understood the decision.

„leave please.“ benjamin begged, turning his attention away from you and examining the white wall with the bayern emblem painted across the stones. one glance, one too long look at your pretty face, and he would falter immediately. he would go too far, make another mistake or even ravish you in the middle of the corridor. a spell, he couldn’t run away from since the day he met you.

„no, we have to talk.“ you insisted, declining him the choice of being left alone. for once, you weren’t sharing the same opinion. taking a step closer to his trembling and tensed figure, benjamin didn’t realize the invasion of his personal space as his back was turned towards you.

all he knew, was when he turned around, the breath he wanted to inhale, got stuck in his dry throat. you were so close again, so close he could smell the sweet perfume lingering on the smooth skin around your collarbones. a scent, he could easily get addicted to again.

and suddenly, he could not fight it anymore. body moving on its own, a large hand caressed over the side of your throat until it reached your neck. calloused palm pressed against the soft skin and baby hairs, fingertips carefully digging into the side as he closed his tight grip on you. benjamin was holding you in place, and carefully tilted your head further back. nose held high, hooded eyes staring straight into the alluring hazelnut swirls around his dilated pupils.

if you wouldn’t have known him better than anybody else, and could read through each stone-cold expression on his face, the glimpse of undeniable lust would have passed without notice. yet, it ignited a small flame in your stomach, a feeling, you almost forgot. dominance written in the way, his calloused digits handled the movement of your body so easily, so carefully and still so eagerly. „god, you’re too beautiful to resist.“ benjamin muttered ever so quietly, more to himself than complimenting you. but the inches between your faces decreased with any given second.

and suddenly, as time ticked away and the game continued, it seemed like everything moved in slow motion until the world stopped turning. the moment, benjamin‘s chewed up lips, overthinking his decision over a hundred times and his teeth always assaulting the sensitive skin, brushed over yours. softly, but ever so eagerly to close the last gap and take what has always been his. and so, he reacted for the first time in months without letting his head decline what the pounding heart wanted. ignoring the undeniable fact that you had someone waiting at home, a boyfriend who loved you dearly but could never give you what benjamin offered.

relief washed over you, the tensed muscles relaxed under the soft pressing of his lips, flush against yours. guilt should have gnawed at your heart, but it never made an appearance. the thickness in your throat or the upset stomach never became a prominent feeling. slender arms, which turned to featherlight weight, raised, fingertips tingling with the need to touch his warm skin, ensuring yourself that the scene happened in reality and wasn’t a lustful creation of your mind.

because it didn’t matter how tightly your boyfriends arms were wrapped around you at night, you missed the ones you slept in so peacefully, so safely without a doubt.

delicate pads traced along the sharp line of his jaw towards his earlobe before finding a comfortable spot to place your soft palm against the side of his neck. fingertips immediately playing with the thin hairs, the small curls which slowly started to grow back. manicured nails carefully scratched over the smooth, sensitive spot, remembering how much he desired it when you left those long, crimson red marks over his beautiful, unblemished porcelain skin.

"i've missed how strawberries tasted on your lips." words blown into the gentle kiss, compliments and confessions about the way, he still remembered perfectly which kind of chapstick you preferred. reminding you, that the crimson-red fruit was delicious but tasted better spread out over your soft lips. easily, he had enough access to your unmoving body, sneaking his arm around your waist. calloused palm pressed firmly against the curve of your back, giving him enough freedom to push your chest closer to his aching body. the slightest touch would be enough to coax the sounds of his dry throat. he missed the lingering burns of your slender fingers, the tingles across his chest when they trailed over his defined stomach and towards the v-lines which disappeared underneath the hem of his loose jogging pants.

he should have never been so addictive, so desirable for you and yet, you were the one cheating and forgetting a man, who dearly tried to love every flaw and inch. the destroyed image of a woman, who never settled for less, who just moved cities, who carried a broken heart.

and you never felt bad in his embrace. the only thing that bothered you was the fact, that his arms never felt like benjamin’s. the bayern munich fans cheered loudly, the screams of joy echoed through the catacombs and forced the two of you apart. heads turned to the side, listening to the proud melodies, sung with their red and white hearts.

a second goal for the bundesliga team, a second goal that kicked out a fearful enemy like paris saint-germain and allowed bayern munich to move a step further towards the finals. “winning this match, and feeling your undeniable soft lips again. couldn’t be a better ending to such a horrendous week.” benjamin chuckled, so light hearted, so warm. so different to the sounds he made during the first half of the match, when he couldn’t even glance at her.

[pavardscherie]

izzy how are you ?? we've missed you 😭🤍 what are your thoughts on Benji leaving Bayern? 😮‍💨

hello hello love! 🤍

i‘m battling illness after illness tbh, and my moods are swinging which makes it hard to focus on writing to be quite honest.

i‘m still in denial about that. he‘s such a good player and i know he will find another club where he will deliver so perfectly. but my little benji heart is breaking to see him leave. 🙁

i‘m slowly getting back to tumble and writing, i just couldn‘t find a good moment where i actually felt interested in writing about footballers. but the phase is over, i‘m already starting with writing small paragraphs again. 🤍