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Is Your Attitude Blocking Your Blessings?

Why does it seem that some people are luckier than others? The "lucky" folks seem to glide through life racking up enviable opportunities and wonderful relationships. These folks also seem adept at avoiding disasters, but if they hit a pitfall, they're able to quickly turn the situation around. These folks consistently have great jobs, invitations to interesting events, satisfying long-term partnerships and good health. This is in mark contrast to the "unlucky" masses who are always schlepping along feeling that they are a day late and a dollar when it comes to snagging life's big rewards.

Successful people are not usually more talented or educated, but they have a better attitude. Let's look at my hairstylist. Some may call her lucky. She told me that she wanted to do the hair of a high-profile socialite who had just moved to Washington, DC. Unbeknownst to my hairdresser, late one Friday night--just before closing the woman's assistant called the salon asking for an appointment. Although the assistant had never been to the salon before my hairstylist told her to come in. The two women chatted, the assistant discussed that she was going to a photo shoot for a national magazine the next day. Then to the surprise of my hairstylist the assistant revealed the name of her boss, Ms. High Profile Socialite. The assistant left the shop loving her new hairdo and was appreciative to my hairstylist for being so helpful. Without much prompting she said that she would pass on my hairstylist's contact information to Ms. High-Profile Socialite. At minimum my hairstylist gained a new client who will sing her praises, resulting in more business. She however may also hit the jackpot by getting Ms. High-Profile Socialite to also become a client--resulting in her own professional reputation being raised considerably.

So was my hairdresser lucky?

Maybe....

Or perhaps she did not allow her attitude to "block her blessings."

Performance consultant, Dr. Alan Zimmerman says "I've noticed that attitude makes a huge difference in determining a person's level of success in life. In fact, attitude seems to make a bigger difference than age, sex, race, education, circumstances or any other factor. Two people can have the same background and face the same situations, but experience very different outcomes. It's all about attitude

My hairstylist's great attitude may indeed help her get Ms. High-Profile socialite as a client. She could have flat-out declined the assistant's last minute request for appointment. Or should could have reluctantly honored the request, but then been sullen to the assistant. Or should could have done a crappy job on her hair. However my hairstylist is a consummate professional who believes in serving the client. When she got the request for a last minute appointment she was accommodating. When the new client arrived she was pleasant and engaging. Most important she delivered a fabulous hairstyle.

Thomas Edison, the inventor, said, "Most people don't recognize opportunity when it comes, because it's usually dressed in overalls and looks a lot like work." How many times have you said that you said that you wanted something: A better paying job, a more nurturing relationship or even a new apartment. You miss out because the opportunity that is presented to you just doesn't seem that appealing. You find out your dream job requires you to take a temporary pay-cut while you're in a training program. The nice guy that you're introduced to isn't a snazzy dresser. You've found an apartment that you can actually afford with all the amenities that you want---but it's across town away from where all your friends live.

Many of us say that we believe in principles such as: "The Power of Intention," "manifesting" or even the Biblical, "Ask and ye shall receive," and declare that we want major change to occur in our lives YET we don't want to re-vamp our attitude to make a way for the change. We keep getting stuck because we fail to realize that without a new attitude and accompanying new actions, we can only get more of the same, dead-end job, dysfunctional relationship or mediocre apartment. Through our unwillingness to explore the possibilities sent our way, we've told the Universe--I'm not REALLY ready to do what's necessary to improve my life.

So if you are serious about having a better job (making more money) and having better relationships it's time to change your attitude. Having a bad attitude is a contributing factor in why highly qualified people get fired. Bad attitudes are also cited as key reasons why relationships fail. Although most people believe that they have a good attitude, research shows that 85% of the people studied were actually pretty negative. How can you tell whether you have a good or bad attitude? Think about what your first reaction is to any given situation--is it negative and pessimistic or is it optimistic and hopeful? If your boss says she wants to see you are you expecting to be fired or to receive a bonus? If you boyfriend doesn't call for few days do you think he's cheating or just busy?

What I mean by attitude is your preconceived notions or expectations about a person or situation. Without much, if any, information or first hand experience are you quick to decide that a person, event or thing is not your cup of tea? Attitude also involves how you interact with people--generally are you pleasant, curt or totally indifferent? Are you only nice and interested in people whom you think can do something for you? Do you forgo small talk with strangers because you don't see the point because you'll never see them again?

Attitude is a choice that you make everyday. The same way that you choice to have a bad attitude you can choose to have a good one. Now having a good attitude doesn't mean sticking your head in the sand and disregarding bad news or your internal warning bells. It does mean approaching life from the standpoint that the world is welcoming and endlessly abundant, NOT the world is hostile and everything is scarce. Whether you call it luck, good vibes or karma, pleasant people usually attract more opportunities than unpleasant people. It means truly believing that you can dramatically improve your income, quality of your relationships and your life NOW-----despite all the gloom and doom reports about the "bad" economy.

So how can you improve your attitude and your opportunities?

Survey Your Strengths: Many times our bad attitude stems from our own lack of self-love. We think that everyone around us is so much better than we are. However by taking time to identify your strengths, both large and small, you will get a better sense of how wonderful you actually are. This list will boost your morale on challenging days and it will give you confidence to take bold steps toward an improved life. Take 5 minutes or 5 days to think about all of the many things that you are good at and write them all down.

Affirm Yourself: We are our worst critics. The constant chatter in our heads that we are not enough--smart, educated, talented, young, pretty, thin, etc. places limits on what we believe that we should achieve in our lives. It's no mystery that people with low self-esteem often have less than satisfying lives. They don't believe that they deserve more and as a result they don't get life's rewards. Showing yourself self-love through affirmations may sound hokey, but if saying "I love and accept you" once a day to yourself can improve up your life why not try it. There are very few champions in any field who walk around saying, "I'm not so hot." On the contrary, many top athletes regular visualize themselves winning competitions. Boxer Muhammad Ali publicly declared himself, "The Greatest." It's not conceited to affirm to yourself that you are special and worthy--it's rejuvenating!

Broaden Your Perspective: Be open to learning new things and meeting new people. Improving your life requires that you expand your concept of who you are and who you can achieve. Surrounding yourself with new ideas and new perspectives helps you to explore and identify new opportunities for yourself. Get out of your comfort zone by trying something new. Even small changes like driving a different route to and from work or shopping at a different market may provide you with some new experiences or information. Also be open to the possibility that seemingly "bad" situations usually are opportunities for growth that lead to rewards.

Build Your Network: Stay connected to people you know and get to know new people. Be pleasant and genuinely interested in the people you encounter. Start small by just smiling at people on the street or saying hello to someone in your neighborhood or in your office. Also you never know you'll meet at the airport or even at the playground--idle chitchat can sometimes net you big contacts and big opportunities. Interacting with people in a kind manner or at least acknowledging their existence costs you very little each day. It's important to keep in mind that you never know where assistance may come from. People help people---by passing on information, tips or resumes whom they know, like and trust.