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Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

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always complain about things. okay, you know how programmers explain their code to rubber ducks when it's not working? same principle. an appliance breaks down. I get pissed off, try everything, go through the various stages of despair etc. I complain about it to a friend and explain why it frustrates me so bad, and suddenly I'm thinking 'wait I should try unplugging it and then doing a factory reset and then—' and I go home and do that and it starts working again. I keep losing my earrings. I complain about it to a friend, about how I keep them all in a little dish but then the specific one I want always dematerialises the moment I want it. my friend says 'I just keep them on the little card backs they came with' and I think well shit, I always throw those out. but then I think aha I can make a bunch of pinholes in a decorative postcard. genius. I read a story. it's about something I'm usually into, but for some reason I don't like this story at all. I complain about it, I figure out what irritates me about it, I have a great idea for a way better story. I try a new recipe, it doesn't come together. I bitch about it like crazy, about what I thought I did right and how it failed, and before I know it I'm explaining out loud which parts I'm inexperienced at or didn't understand or adjusted wrong. I need a little table for drawing on. I complain about it in the group chat, two days later someone says 'hey I spotted the kind of table you're looking for on the side of the road, do you want to come pick it up'. I complain, endlessly. my life is enriched. the art of complaining.

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yup i caramelized some onions last night. basically you fucking wish you were me right now *a massive demon centipede bursts through the wall* oh fuck! *i produce my holy lightning tommy gun and riddle that sucker with a hail of thunderous bullets* fuck!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!

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You can’t be posting like a bisexual vancouverite as prime minister

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hey. don’t cry. crush two cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in pasta of your choice ok?

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not what that means. megan thee stallion told me years ago

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if you reblog this i will fucking destroy you

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Ways to Improve Online (White-People) Recipes

If it asks for garlic, add that much ginger, and twice that much garlic.

If it asks for cinnamon, add 1 1/2 times as much cinnamon, and a small amount of nutmeg. If the MAIN flavour is cinnamon, also add a small amount of cloves and allspice.

If it asks for vanilla, also add a SMALL amount of almond extract. (Usually up to a few drops.)

If it asks for onions, also add some garlic, but add it 1 minute before you're either done cooking, or you add liquid

If the spices are pretty much only oregano or parsley, add both, as well as a small to medium amount of basil, thyme, summer savory, tarragon, and/or marjoram (the earlier two are great in beef, chicken and tomato dishes, while the others are good with pork, chicken, most vegetables, and pretty much anything else you can think of with a 'lighter' flavour)

if it asks for cheddar or mozzarella cheese, also add a bit of feta and parmesan

Don't be afraid of flavour!

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completely sober in the club looking at images of dragons on my phone

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I’ve decided that my 20s are actually age 25 - 35

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There's nothing more punk than being kind. Hygiene is metal. Universal healthcare is goth. Being afraid to talk to girls is shoegaze. Indoor plumbing is emo. Nothing is more grunge than having a bisexual trans wife.

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Conversational skill check: Work acquaintance mentions in an offhand tone with no discernible expression that they have recently lost over 20 pounds. They fail to elaborate. A response is expected.

Me, rolling a 6: …On purpose?

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Do you check for trackers and remove them before sharing links?

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let’s listen to mama

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Urban Design Lab posted these great pics of an architect's life before CAD ...