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day three of not eating at work (I work at a pizza place for context) I haven’t had anything real but we sell these cookie brownies and I had some of one and then half of a donut and like five takis, so I mean I have ate so like idk if it even counts :/

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my gf made me eat a pop tart last night, but that was all and so far it’s 3 o’clock and we haven’t ate anything and now very soon I have friends coming over, so we can’t eat now and like fuck I hate how much I love being hungry

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eyeeemmmmmm very hungry and very happy about it 🤩 this feeling will soon be challenged tho

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I’ve been back on tumblr for a whopping two days now and have garnered 40 new followers … FORTY that is excessive this feels like a set up

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I’ve really missed being able to rant/vent post on sm , it helps me so much. I still do feel really bad for going behind my gfs back with this account, but I’m not perfect and I just wanna lose weight

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on the bright side I actually went the whole entire work day without eating :)) I am very proud of myself and that is the only thing redeeming any crumbs of dignity I may have left

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literally the most embarrassing thing in the world just happened to me at work in front of nobody, but oh my god I have never been so ashamed??? I literally almost started crying cause of how upset this made me. this is something I could go to my grave with easy, but I’m literally going to have to tell my gf there’s just no way around it I don’t think and oh my god I’m just so embarrassed idek what I’m gonna say. god I hope I don’t cry

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on my second energy drink of the night to push off my hunger I still have close to two hours left of work and ugh 😑 it’s so ded i am saur bored

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oof just remembered I don’t work tomorrow, so I’ll be with my gf all day….

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this lightheaded and foggy brain feeling is so comforting honestly 🥰

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not my gf texting me that she ate :///// fuckkkk I’m so proud of her i hate that I can’t do the same for her

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welp day two of not eating at work.. I told my gf last night that I purposefully didn’t eat yesterday at work.. we kinda talked about it and then I had ice cream and a pop tart. I woke up really anxious about eating and when she brought it up it was obvious. she always makes me eat before work it’s literally impossible to get out of, so I had ramen, 4 Little Muffins™️ and maybe half a brownie I really wish I wouldn’t have had the brownie, but honestly I’m happy I didn’t eat more. I have to snack around her, so she thinks I’m recovering heh

I feel like such shit for going behind her back when she’s trying so hard to recover from her own ed and to help me with mine ://////:://// this disorder takes sosososo much more than weight away from you .. if you even lose that

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why do so many of y’all follow me 😭 I was ia for like three months .. why do u like me

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I am so fucking conflicted… I don’t know what to do.. I’m doing the whole no eating at work thing and it feels so nice, but knowing I’m gonna have to lie to my gf when I get home is so gross and then I’m probably gonna try real hard to lie to try and get out of eating with her (we always eat after I come home from work)(I get off at 2am) .. it’s just gonna be so hard and so complicated and manipulative… like I’ve already broken a promise(?) I believe about staying off of tumblr.. idk what to do. I lost my thigh gap and my stomach constantly looks bloated I just have a horrible self image rn and I know starving will fix it …

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how I’ve missed not eating 🤩

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just said no to someone offering me food that I wanted for the first time innnnn a min …

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I don’t know how to rewire my brain again to not associate being hungry with happiness and success like .. it just makes me feel good …