peanutmoggo

[peanutmoggo]

The more painful, the more beautiful each word poured into poems.

[peanutmoggo]

I miss my two late cats. They both died the same month as my birthday. They were brother with about a year age gap. One died at 13, one at 12. Pretty old for incest born Persian home cats. I love them both, but I guess they love each other more. The younger died first, in less than a week his older brother passed away.

The younger one died of severe renal disease. He was a petite cat, born healthy and talkative. But somehow always had a health issue. Once he had some kind of bacteria in his eye that we had to drive miles to the north to find the well known animal's eyes specialist (our local vet has no expertise on that). Thank God he survived the disease. But not this time. Doctor said that he had a small sized kidney that it was prone to such illness. He passed away after being hospitalized for two days. I love how the vet took care of him after he passed away. Not only did they wrapped him, but I guess they put some kind of perfume (or idk what) that he smell like a flower. We buried him at the small park near our home.

The saddest part is, the older was in a healthy shape before he died. Not until his brother passed away, he was still cheerful, playful, ate a lot. His tail was always facing up to the sky, he walked like a submarine. But the day following his brother's passing, he became a very very depressed cat. He wouldn't leave my grandma's bedroom and keep facing at empty spaces. His tail was laying low, he was no longer a walking submarine. We had to feed him by our hands because he wouldn't even touch his food. Sunday, January 21st, we brought him to the vet. Just to make sure he was all good. Doctor said he was very much healthy, but sad, only very sad. Doctor gave us vitamins and recommended us to give recovery wet food. The doctor talked to him as if he would understand (I personally believe he did). The doctor told him that it's okay to grief and be sad, but life must go on because everyone loves and cares for him so much. After the counseling session, the paramedic trim his paw until it looked perfectly round, cut his claw, and clean his ears.

The next day, Monday. He was all okay. He ate his food, no sign of vomiting, nor refusing to eat. I was going to work so I got this good news from the cleaning lady. That was a really good news and we were all happy about it (we talked cheerfully on the family group).

My sister took care of him until 10am and got back from campus at 2pm, only to saw that he was laying on the floor, gone.

Up until now, I still cannot believe a physically healthy cat just died unexpectedly. But maybe, every living being can died of sadness. And that's sad.

Those two silly cats are up there now. We buried the older brother next to his late younger bro. I think both of them are in the middle of some sort of family time, bonding and playing around with their dad and siblings who passed away before them. Ah that must be joyful to reunite with your loving family.

One thing that keeps me awake tonight, I think the older cat sort of want us to bring him to the vet to take care of him for his last days. The last grooming, and the last good bye to the doctor that has been caring for him for long as he lived. It's unbelievable that he passed away in such good condition with paw trimmed and all.

God I miss you both.

[peanutmoggo]

TRUE FOR THIS PART

An anonymous fear submitted to Deep Dark Fears - thanks!

[peanutmoggo]

reblogging this cause why not

[peanutmoggo]

love the idea of mapping the steps of future career but hate the fact that we're all gonna follow reality anyway

[peanutmoggo]

i sometimes think that people never do things for nothing

[peanutmoggo]

I love the common sense part

I have 3000 followers now so here's some tips for you all:

clean your scrapes and cuts; yes, even the small ones

use moisturizer and hair oils and stop overwashing your body

don't mix cleaning chemicals for the love of god, especially if bleach is involved in any way, that shit CAN and WILL put you in the ER or in the ground

invest in a food processor or even a small electric chopper, it's worth it, I promise

"common sense" isn't real and we all have to learn things at some point; some people just learn things a bit later than others and that's okay

regular sleep is important but some people are just wired differently and it's okay if your natural sleep cycle doesn't line up with how society is structured

don't quit any prescription medication cold turkey unless it's discussed in detail with at least one medical professional

stop asking yourself if you can survive without an accessibility aid and start asking if it will improve your quality of living instead

just be kind, to yourself and others

[peanutmoggo]

can't believe all those posts dedicated for one single soul

[peanutmoggo]

came back because I need online safe place to rant

[peanutmoggo]

I'm a slow walker, but I never walk back.

ENFJ people

[peanutmoggo]

"37 Slogans For College Majors If They Were Actually Honest"

Accounting: selling your soul for money.

Aerospace Engineering: “it actually is rocket science.”

Anthropology: it’ll get you laid, but it won’t get you paid!

Archeology: if you don’t know what it is, it’s probably ceremonial.

Art History: and you thought making art was pointless!

Astrophysics: “Eh, I’m within an order of magnitude…”

Biochemistry: spend 4 years aspiring to discover the cure for cancer, and the rest of your life manufacturing shampoo.

Chemistry: where alcohol is a solution.

Communications: “we’ll teach you everything you need to know about convincing your friends that your degree is actually meaningful.”

Computer Engineering: tons of chicks, just not very many.

Computer Science (for a straight girl): the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

Creative Writing: because job security is for pussies.

Criminal Justice: we’re here because of Law & Order reruns.

Dental Hygienist: “something to do until you get knocked up.”

Engineering: the art of figuring out which parameters you can safely ignore.

English: so you want to be a teacher.

Film: forks on the left, knives on the right.

Finance: “accounting was too hard.”

Graphic Design: no, we’re not artists.  We’re designers; there’s a difference.

History: history may repeat itself, but you definitely will.

Information Technology: let me Google that for you.

Journalism: learn how to construct an argument that no one will listen to.

Latin: because useful is overrated.

Linguistics: studied 17 languages, fluent in none of them.

Marine Biology: “I wanted to play with dolphins, but I’m looking at algae instead.”

Music Performance: if you don’t hate yourself, you’re doing it wrong.

Nursing: learning to save others’ lives while struggling not to take your own.

Philosophy: think about it.

Photography: it’s worth a shot.

Physics: “everything you learned last week was wrong.”

Political Science: your opinion is wrong

Pre-med: “I’ll probably switch majors in two years.”

Psychology: good luck doing anything until you get your Masters.

Speech Pathology: we have a way of making you talk.

Statistics: where everything’s made up, and numbers don’t matter.

Structural Engineering: because architects don’t know what physics is.

Zoology: because you can’t major in kittens.

[peanutmoggo]

As I pull the

blades from my

spine, I remember

there is always

a scar to

deflect the rain,

always a

bridge to

keep me warm.

[peanutmoggo]

Some people go through life searching and never find their soul mates. They never do. You and I did, we just happened to have them for a shorter period of time than we hoped for. It’s sad, but it’s life.

Cecelia Ahern, P.S. I Love You (via the-book-diaries)

[peanutmoggo]

[peanutmoggo]

Dy, i should have known that we would ended up like this. Exactly. Every detail of our goodbye, i knew that it would happened. It only the matters of time. How long could 'we' stand for. But it all ends now, nah, i'm totally fine. All you have to know is, I would never regret you. I would never blame myself or God or anyone else for our destiny, for accidentally knowing and meeting you. I would never get mad at you despite the fact that you leave me. I wouldn't. I would not regret anything. We are all here for a certain reason. Your existence in my life have one exact purpose too. Whether God wanted me to feel how happiness and pain could happened rapidly in a very quick term or He just wanted me to know that life is a talk show, where some people come and go with each different stories. Whatever God's purpose is, i just want to say, gracias.

- Your Eclipse.

[peanutmoggo]

I’m living in the gap between past and present. I’m waiting for something that will never happen. And i’m loving someone who will never feel the same way.

Little Dragonfly XXVII (via mind-is-sun-heart-is-moon)

Hmm

[peanutmoggo]

Hurt me. But hurt me with your love, hurt me with your touch. Please don’t hurt me by leaving me.

Little Dragonfly XXVII (via mind-is-sun-heart-is-moon)

Lagi.