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Borrowing his fitness routine from the Muscles from Brussels himself, Iwamori has seen every Jean-Claude Van Damme movie twice. Yes, even Kung Fu Panda 2.

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“Cut, cut, cut! Get wardrobe down here, this looks so fake! I can see the zipper going down the back of his costume for chrissake!” –Wes Fenglebard, director, It Came from the Watery Lagoon

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“Don’t panic if it has you in its grasp. Thanks to its slug-tongue, it takes it about ten minutes to eat a guy, so you should be able to think of something before then.”

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In his will, Gorbash the Giant elected to donate his body to science. Still, he probably didn’t expect that it’d be going to military science.

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Entire continents were ravaged by the constant warfare between the guild of the gigantomancers, and their mortal enemies, the ancient order of the ittybittycasters.

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“I’ve got to find out who this guy’s dealer is, because whatever he’s on, I want to be on it, too.” –Terence, the Sarcaster

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“Pff, astronomers… With all their fancy shmancy telescopes, are they any closer to explaining the giant lady in the sky holding up that glowing ball?”

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Test #352: Subjects continue to burst into flames upon re-entry to the atmosphere. Suggest using less flammable test animals in future trials.

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Early versions of Microsoft Word’s autocorrect feature not only fixed spelling errors, but censored dangerous heresy, as well.

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Within its membrane dwells every dream you’ve ever experienced. Yes, even those ones from high school… you know which ones I’m talking about. Pervert.

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Krill sighed as he looked longingly through the gate. “Maybe next year I’ll score that ticket to Coachella.”

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“Why hello, son, it looks like you could use a dose of Vitamin Jesus, today.”

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“So let me get this straight: You spent all our money on a mongoose that lays golden eggs? You’ve just been dumb on so many different levels, I’m not even sure where to begin…”

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“Ooooh, see, your voicemail came out a bit garbled, so we actually salted their homes, burned nothing, and allowed their lands to survive…”

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“Ugh, I hate crying babies. Tell you what, I’m gonna futz around the multiverse for a few years, and I’ll come back to Alara when that thing’s finally able to wipe its own butt.” –Terence, the Sarcaster

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Michael Bay felt that there were already enough movies depicting cities levelled by massive earthquakes. He would need to find a more plausible method of destroying Los Angeles…

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Benalish Heroes were promoted in an elaborate ceremony which concluded with the traditional equipping of the Mega Man arm cannon.