pei-na

[pei-na]

Inbox call <3 please specify ur muse if u're multi, if I can't think of anything I'll pop into dms

[pei-na]

don't care didn't ask plus this hole you put me in wasn't deep enough and i'm climbing out right now

[pei-na]

Inbox call <3 please specify ur muse if u're multi, if I can't think of anything I'll pop into dms

[pei-na]

They did not expect you to fight. They expected you to cower down, bow before them, accept the fate that they had thought out for you. All the more satisfying, then, to smirk up at them through the blood, saying i'm not done yet. You have no idea of the extent of my defiance.

[pei-na]

its nothing some ibuprofen and a blunt and 5 beers and a head injury and jacking off and killing myself cant fix

[pei-na]

[pei-na]

if i was immortal killing myself would be my hobby and like i truly believe it would fix something in me. i do

[pei-na]

kayn & fem! kayn

[pei-na]

“they made you into a weapon and told you to find peace”

— unfinished poems iii // s.z

[pei-na]

@strxngertogether said ; x

i am uncertain whether to believe you. Cait!

// kayn huffs, and crosses his arm like some kind of child throwing a tantrum. their distrust only makes him more upset. there he is telling them the grand tale of how he came to be, and they won't even believe him?

he hears rhaast at the back of his head, he teases him and kayn rolls his eyes. " well, what do I care if you believe me? " his tone drips with spite, arrogance and anger. something bubbles at the back of his throat and he pushes it down.

" I don't fucking know what else to tell you, I am from ionia. "

[pei-na]

// danger is something kayn grew up next to. he doesn't fear anything, he'd say. if anything, the world should fear him. any step he takes should shake the ground and anyone looking at him is supposed to see him as a weapon first, then glance at rhaast as a side-piece.

" yeah, right. "

the noxian walks with the same kind of arrogance anyone from that nation would possess, listens to naafiri's words with only half an ear. he pushes his luck, and as if he'd summoned it, the creature that leaps from the water comes snapping directly at him.

kayn startles, hand on rhaast tightening, whirling him in front of him, with no hesitation. whatever rhaast had been about to say before the threat showed up, is stifled, and distracted by the massive crocodile intending to strike the two of them.

a part of his ego is hurt when naafiri comes to his help, but it seems to bear few fruits, which actually helps. the creature roars, and he draws a sharp breath of his own, a smirk developing on his lips.

finally, something fun to do. rhaast agrees at the back of his head, and instead of running, like any other sane person would do, he charges for the crocodile instead.

and when it strikes at him, it hits, not entirely, but enough to tear a bloody wound into his hip, he hisses, twirling the scythe in his hands and with a swift movement, he counters the strike by running rhaast's blade right through the tail that had just struck him.

the bit of the tail he'd struck gushes blood, drops, erupting another scream from the crocodile. kayn grits his teeth, shifting back only slightly. pain and adrenaline shoots through his veins, and he prepares to charge the creature, already having completely forgotten about naafiri.

The hot, unrelenting desert wind carried low, hollow, raspy laughter. Even though the main body was larger than any common dune hound should be, Naafiri could be deceptively stealthy. Thus no matter how hard Kayn looked, he would be hard-pressed to make out the large, grey and red body slinking around him in a low arch. Outside of the main body's dull paw steps, there was a quieter and faster pitter-patter as a good dozen of Naafiri's packmates followed the main body with great leaps.

"You are assuming that we gave you an order", Naafiri said, "Hate to say this, but you are sadly mistaken. We merely wanted to warn and encourage you. There is something on its way here. You might want to get ready for a fight."

Rhaast's vessel kept walking and Naafiri matched its pace. The rest of the pack had fanned out behind the main body, covering ground quickly. Descending a slope, the hot, unrelenting sand burning their paws, Naafiri gave a sigh of relief as they reached floodplanes. The ground here was moist with water and the long grasses rustled in the wind. Trees offered shade. However, the danger was also closer. The pack mates grew more alarmed. They barked in unrest, leaping back and forth.

The main body rose its head and sniffed the air. The water made pinpointing any threat harder, yet Naafiri could sense something move under the water. It was heading straight for Rhaast's vessel. A large, powerful, armoured body. Yellow eyes followed the figure. Naafiri growled and their daggers rattled against their back.

Under loud splashes, a large crocodile came bursting out of the water. Massive jaws opened, revealing a row of teeth, as it twisted itself around and tried to snap for Rhaast's vessel. Naafiri leapt up and twisted their body sideways. A dagger dislodged itself from the mane around their neck. It flew through the air and pierced the crocodile's shoulder. The beast roared, however, it seemed undeterred. Instead, it raised its massive tail and prepared to strike Rhaast's vessel.

[pei-na]

// finding rhaast in off moods is common. kayn struggles to take him seriously when he throws another temper tantrum. surely there's plenty of places in noxus he doesn't like, but he thinks he's being a baby about it. not at all listening to whatever he's rambling on about, whatever force he's taking on his body to try and pull him away from wherever he's trying to go.

in fact, it just makes kayn push against him further, stroll into the direction out of pure spite.

spotting a girl wasn't what he expected to see. well, that's obviously not just a girl. kayn rolls the scythe in between his fingers, feeling rhaast's distaste attempt to burn him. it's becoming clearer to him that this isn't just one of his moods, one of his temper tantrums. he narrows his eyes, wary.

she doesn't look very happy at their sight either, especially eyeing the scythe. kayn looks at her, then at the weapon, and gives out a sigh, putting himself between her, and rhaast. breaking vision probably won't help much, considering he's still poking out.

" you two got history? "

@pei-na

There were few things that disturbed Briar, most of them were usually something to do with people and rarely magic. . Yet there was something wrong about this. That blade, she felt a cold shiver run down her spine which might not be odd this time of year but this was unnatural. Even the Hunger didn't like it and it, along with Briar, showed their distaste for the blade and it's wielder by hissing loudly.

Backing up not unlike a frightened feline she makes herself look bigger, hair standing more on end but not entirely like it does in her frenzy, but enough to show her distaste of this encounter. Perhaps it was due to the connection she shared with it, after all she was made from the magic that the darkin used when they had fallen. Not that this man knew, but Briar wasn't sure either way. What she did know is that she didn't want that blade near her.

[pei-na]

LYRIC SENTENCE STARTERS,  ETHEL CAIN.

“how funny, i never considered myself tough.”

“say what you want, but say it like you mean it.”

“god is telling you and i there is death.”

“jesus can always reject his father, but he cannot escape his mother’s blood.”

“i’ve killed before and i’ll kill again.”

“you know i raised you better than this.”

“sing it to me all day long.”

“hey, do you wanna see the west with me?”

“i am poison in the water and unhappy.”

“head full of whiskey but i always deliver.”

“trouble’s always gonna find you.”

“i followed you in.”

“i feel so alone.”

“i tried to be good. am i no good?”

“tell me a story.”

“they say heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

“all that’s left are your walls and you’ll die there.”

“i’d hold the gun if you asked me.”

“i’m tired of you still tied to me.”

“a nd if you hate me, please don’t tell me.”

“end of the line. we finally hit the edge, after all this time.”

“baby, don’t run, i’ll take you anywhere.”

“you love blood too much.”

“found you just to tell you that i made it real far.”

“and know that one day, you and i could be ok.”

“it hurts to miss you. but it’s worse to know that i’m the reason.”

“he wanted to go, so maybe it was his fault.”

“even the iron still feels the rot.”

“we had nothing except each other.”

“i just wanted to be yours.”

“he’s cold-blooded so it takes more time to bleed.”

“tell me, what have you done?”

“you can’t hide from me forever.”

“blessed be the daughters of cain, bound to suffering eternal through the sins of their fathers committed long before their conception.”

“there’s nothing you can do, it’s already been done.”

“i hate this story where happiness ends and dies with you.”

“don’t talk to strangers or you might fall in love.”

“then the day came and you were up and gone.”

“you know, i still wait at the edge of town.”

“just know that i love you.”

“in these motel rooms, i started to see you differently.”

“i’m doing what i want and damn, i’m doing it well.”

“i feel it there in the middle of the night.”

“i am no good nor evil, simply i am.”

“hiding from something i cannot stop.”

“i didn’t find my love but i still made it this far without it.”

“i haven’t spoken to my dad in a long, long time.”

“don’t think about it too hard or you’ll never sleep a wink at night again.”

“just give it one more day, then you’re done.”

“i’ll see you when you get here.”

“love’s never meant much to me.”

“i invited you in. twice, i did.”

suffer does the wolf, crawling to thee. promising a big fire, any fire.”

“i’ve killed before.”

“hell don’t scare me, i’ve been times before.”

“dad’s left and mama won’t come home.”

“love’s out there and I can’t leave it be.”

“i cry every day, and the bottles make it worse.”

“these dirt roads are empty.”

“trouble’s always gonna find you, (name). but so will i.”

“i’m so alone out here without you, baby.”

“i don’t need anything from anyone.”

“your mama calls me sometimes to see if i’m doing well.”

[pei-na]

// cleaning up their shared space is usually the last thing that crosses kayn's mind. and there's quite a lot of things on his mind - at all times - enough that there would never be space for something he views as mundane as that. only laundry he truly cared about frequently found the washing machine.

something about rhaast's tone makes him bite his own breath. there is something fragile to it - something that is clearly insecure and it makes kayn insecure in the same way. there's another huff as rhaast talks - but then his expression cringes.

then, he laughs.

that's ridiculous. rhaast thinks this is about ezreal. well, to an extent it is, that's not wrong, kayn feels jealousy over anything he feels he has any amount of claim over - but having to share ezreal hadn't even been what had occupied his mind originally.

it does now, though.

something tugs in his chest. " rhaast, oh my god. " finally, his gaze lands on the other again, and a breath is pushed past barely parted lips.

" I'm listening right now, ain't I? " , kayn hates the way rhaast looks at him and it stifles the laugh right out of his throat. any amount of relief he'd felt simmers down and he frowns himself. " I'll stop calling you a bitch when you stop acting like a stupid bitch - " , he pauses, resists the urge to be honest and tell him why he'd been jealous, because that requires recognizing that he'd been jealous, and he would not be self-aware enough for that.

another sharp breath.

" stop looking at me like that. I said, do whatever you want. "

a sock sails through the air and lands squarely against rhaast’s chest before sliding down into his lap. he barely spares it a glance, casually shifting his leg so the sock drops to the floor, where it’ll likely remain until one of them bothers to pick it up. yone, who long ago gave up nagging them about cleaning their shared space, only really steps in when it involves dishes. in those cases, kayn’s room becomes the prime suspect, often yielding a small stash of plates and cups. not that the room is that messy. and not that it’s entirely kayn’s fault either. the disarray is a shared effort.

“ don’t call me a bitch, idiot. ” rhaast might make his point more effectively if he weren’t every bit as stubborn as kayn. at times, it feels like a blessing to share space with a host strong-willed enough to endure their endless clashes. other times, it’s nothing but a grating frustration. both of them are immovable forces in their own right, entrenched in their individual ways yet forced to collaborate just to coexist. some days, rhaast’s very existence feels like a cruel joke. he’s exhausted from trying to carve out a place for himself, only to find every inch already claimed by kayn. the man is omnipresent, his influence lingering on people and places rhaast can’t even remember them visiting. the effort it takes to compete with that is infuriating enough, what’s worse is kayn’s maddening indifference to it all.

“ why are you like this ? you have every fucking thing in this world. sorry i didn’t know you had some weird claim on ezreal too. fuck do i try for if this is how you’re gonna be about it ? ” this is exactly the kind of conversation rhaast would rather avoid. he can think of a thousand other ways to spend his time, some even involving kayn in much more appealing scenarios, but this serious talk is already knotting something uncomfortable in his chest. human emotions are fragile and chaotic, nearly impossible to dissect, and kayn’s emotions are even more elusive. trying to untangle them feels like an exercise in futility. looking up, kayn earns nothing more than a sour look from rhaast, who slouches deeper into the creaking chair under his weight, arms folding tightly across his chest in a clear sign of irritation.

“ and i don’t fucking know, we’re speaking right now, aren’t we ? it’s kind of hard to talk to someone who never wants to listen, kayn. ”

[pei-na]

// kayn has his shitty days. here and there, he could be found lounging in his room, and if it wasn't for rhaast, he'd be on his own, barely standing the air he's breathing. he's unsure if the omni-presence of the darkin makes it better, or worse.

silence only came whenever rhaast has had enough of talking to an irritated wall. and even then, he could hear his own, filtered breathing, and it makes him want to throw him out of the window.

the knock on his door wants to go swiftly ignored - his mouth opens to tell whoever came to visit him to fuck off. he doesn't say that. instead, his lips falter, and he throws the ball he'd been fidgeting with in his hands against the wall, watching it bounce off and looks almost disappointed when it doesn't ricochet into the darkin that's made itself comfortable on his gaming chair.

it takes a while until he opens the door. for a moment, sett might've thought that he would never open it. kayn looks like shit. and evidently, sett does too. he wants to laugh, but he doesn't give him the opportunity to.

kayn narrows his eyes. then shrugs, opens the door. " well, make yourself comfortable. don't trip on the mess rhaast left. " , he says, regardless of who put the many toys, fidgets, clothes, shoes, whatever else is on the floor, there.

in the same breath, he almost trips himself, doesn't acknowledge that he does, and throws himself back onto his bed. he opens his eye, and rhaast is gone, but he hears him laugh at him at the back of his head, regardless.

" what's got you looking like shit? why go to me out of everyone in this damn apartment? "

he had not planned to be there. fuck... he was not even sure what had compelled him to drag himself through the maze of their shared apartment to kayn's door. but the silence of his own space had become suffocating, the walls pressing in closer with each damn passing second, and his thoughts had turned into an endless loop of noise he could not shut off. so, he knocked. the sound was firm but not overbearing, the kind of knock that left no room for ignoring but did not demand immediate attention. he stood there, his hand still hovering near the doorframe as if he was not entirely sure he would not bolt the second it opened. and mayhap, his knuckles tingled faintly from the impact, reminding him that he was still standing there.

the door creaked open after a moment, and his emerald spheres fell on the other's lineaments: his hair was a mess, the educated and prone-to-be-schooled edges of his usual composure softened by whatever late-night haze he had been wrapped in. he cared not to give a chance to fire off some sarcastic remark or witty comment, however ⸻ the sheer weight of his exhaustion was enough to kill any words before they could leave the other's mouth. ❝ don't be a pain in the ass... ❞ the strain was evident in every syllable. ❝ i'm just damn tired... and need some company. ❞ ( @pei-na )

[pei-na]

send me a topic to write a meta about my muse on

I might write anything from a paragraph to a whopping essay, but send me something you’ve noticed about my characterisation or just something you want to know about my muse and I will write what I can!

[pei-na]

whistles. new muse poll !