penbattles

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found a baby turtle in my sewer and used AI aging techniques to work out what it would look like as an adult and used google reverse image search to find images of its parents who were in a nature documentary in 2017 and used harsh economic sanctions to encourage them not to lose their baby in the sewer again

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I was fast graceful and gorgeous at the airport like a leopard

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asking the cashier "Nothing bads gonna happen to me right?'

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found this nefarious cube in my home. going to incinerate it out of an abundance of caution.

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Imagine being mean to me online when I’m literally this

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flirting: omggg haha that amulet is so neat! Do you mind if I hold it?

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flirting: omggg haha that amulet is so neat! Do you mind if I hold it?

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drinking water is awesome i love #mywater

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you shouldn’t be allowed to wake up with a headache

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there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

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they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

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LOL but seriously release the hounds

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Chia-Chi Yu, Frog

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Hey man I’m just happy to be in this dark and scary woods with you

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assorted ornamental birds! (2021)