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IMPORTANT

Good news! My mood is back. Bad news? Nagisa muse is gone. Good news? The app was accepted! I'm gonna go make the blog. If you follow any Charisma High School RPers you might find me via that. Jaa'ne for now!

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...

I swore I wouldn't get depressed over a fucking blog. But here I am, crying. I can't breathe and I'm a total mess. Fucking shit -- I can't do this anymore. One thought is leading to another and as usual I'm powerless to stop it.

I wish my life had a delete button. I would click it and go to the recycle bin in a heart beat. I'm tired of living if the simplest things can spiral off my depression. I was doing good without my mood stabilizer: two weeks now. So good. Until now.

Just... I don't know what to do. Maybe I should sleep. But I'm afraid of what I'll do before sleeping.

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@supermanagergou-kou

Hah. I love your Gou. She cute and funny. Maaa; like I said: it's best I shut up, lest I spiral out of control into a depression and accidentally revoke my ' butterfly promise '. It happens, since one thought leads to another.

I'm horrible at facing my own demons. I'm a demon of demons, trapped in my mind's nightmare. And the simplest of things sets off a spiral. And I can't have that happen. So I'll shut up now.

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@dontcallmegou

Nn. Gomen ne. I feel like he isn't. Plus, until we get a new monitor, I can't use the desktop so believe it or not I'm using a kindle fire hd for everything; which makes me really slow. Which is why I like / draft replies and shove them out later.

But I feel like shit for doing so. Plus, like I said, I feel Nagisa is way too off.

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@supermanagergou-kou:

Nn, gomen ne. Demo... Boku no HAZUKI NAGISA no... Augh, gomen. Japanese there... I just feel my Hazuki Nagisa is crap. And there's also the fact that I feel like my Free! RPer style is crap. In short, I'm crap for feeling like this. So... Euh, yea. I'll shut up now before I spiral into a draining depression again, as I usually do with this stuff if I keep my mouth going.

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NOTICE:

I feel, for some unknown reason, that I do not belong in the Free! fandom. I feel, for an unknown reason, that my Nagisa is not cute, or funny, or persistent, it energetic enough. I feel, for some unknown reason, that I'm not a good enough RPer for this fandom.

And with this, I will probably delete this blog by midnight tonight, EST timezone. I've got a lot of thinking too do, as well.

I just feel like shit over this blog now. And by shit, I mean so bad I don't even think my fiancèe can cheer me up.

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So I've been thinking... I might delete all my threads, liked posts, And posts in general. I'm probably going to either switch muse, or just delete, or revamp.

My Nagisa isn't how I thought he'd turn out, and it' displeasing me.

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I should be replying but I'm waiting to see if an app to an RP group gets accepted and I'm also laughing way too hard at my dash.

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“You’re beautiful”, if you receive this, post it to 10 other blogs. It’s 2 words that can make someone smile ❀◕ ‿ ◕❀

Let me sing for you as a thank you, dearie. ♥ Euh... I'll just sing Mind In The Gutter bc it's playing rn.

You got my mind in the gutter, when we're touching on each other

Rolling round under covers, blowing kisses like we're lovers

I like the way that you taste, when you're all up in my face

Bodies touching, minds corrupted 'cause my mind is in the gutter.

My 30 some odd followers deserve this, not just ten! I can't pick. So this goes to all of you! ♥

Just remember, Len-mun loves you. ♥

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"I think Rin-chan is gay. He acts like he has a stick up his butt. Or Haru-chan's dick." Nagisa, no.

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"I'm... Fine..." And with that, the stubborn freshman passed out. His breathing was still going, so he was alive. At least. Nagisa's ankle was slightly swollen and definitely twisted. He was a little screwed. Just for a few weeks.

Luckily there was no tournaments yet. Hah. Opening pink eyes, he looked up at lavender. "I'm f-fine..."

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"Maa maa, Haru-chan. You do realise you're torturing yourself by watching the pool?" Nagisa waltzed over, hugging onto Haruka's arm as usual. He was an affectionate guy, after all. Looking up at his friend, he sighed.

"Maaaaa... It's so boring today..."

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I see a bunch of Nagisas chasing Rei. ... Anyone else?

HAVE SOME PENGUINS CHASING A BUTTERFLY

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M!A -- Child's play: Object is a pool ｡◕‿◕｡

(( ... i know who sent this tOO DAUGHTER /SQUINTS ))

_ poof! _

"I am not getting in that pool. It'll kill me!" Nagisa. It's a pool.

(( All current rps are not affected. ))

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"I meant a friendship date! Not a romantic date. I'm going to invite Gou-chan and Ama-chan-sensei too! They're a part of the team as much as the swimmers!" Nagisa pouted, still whining to the other. Looking up at Rei, he continually shook his arm and whined.

"Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase? With a cherry on top? ♥"

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"Mm. You, Rin-chan. You changed too much. What happened?" Nagisa wrapped arms around Rin's, looking up with those pink eyes: full of confusion as to why and hurt because he changed.

+6 wanna swim with the shark

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"Superstar manager Gou-chan! How are you?" Nagisa grinned, being polite by asking her that first.

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