penguse - Tumblr blog

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thanks  i  hate  it  

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marco has a lengthy slit scar across his back from being slashed by a sword.

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marco : there be no puffles t’me likin dusty , a puffle smelly & dirty & old akin 2 himself : [ exists ] marco : perfect

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          MARCO  &  HIS  NEW  GREY  PUFFLE  :  DUSTY  !

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“Aye, ye can fight me. If ye don’t think ye’re gettin’ too old fer this. Still sure ye’re up fer th’ challenge, matey?”   \   @migratcr

TOO  OLD  FOR  THIS  ?  \  the  comment  itself  enough  to  cause  him  to  laugh  ,  and  with  it  he  drew  his  trusty  sword  out  of  its  holder  .  the  same  one  he’s  had  for  all  these  years  \  it  may  be  dull  from  years  of  ware  \  but  like  him  it  still  held  strong  .

“  aye  been  fightin’  befer  ye  were  even  in  diapers  ,  aye’m  up  fer  th’challenge  .  BUT  DON’T’YE  FRET  ;  grandpa’ll  go  easy  on’ye  .  ”

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“I am in need of some… wares..."

DID  HIS  EARHOLES  BE  DECEIVING  HIM  ?  \  he  never  thought  he’d  see  the  day  his  nephew  would  want  anything  from  his  inventory  .  WELL  IT  ISN’T  TOO LATE  \  for  a  penguin  to  refine  their  tastes  \  FOR  THE  BEST  !“  YE  LOOKIN’  FER  WARES  ,  EH  ?  well  ,  ye  came  t’th  RIGHT  PLACE  !  what  be  ye  lookin’  fer  ,  son  ?  nuthin’  in  particular  ?  ”

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young jim, probably: wow! I’m going to get a sibling! I can’t wait!

-spends 1 day with marco-

young jim: take it back

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marco: i can't read

rookie: why not ??

marco: -narrows eyes-

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“I may or may not sell something like that.

“You should try the corner shop between Fifth and West. Tell them I sent you.”

“Where did you get that?”

“I am in need of some… wares…

“Your offers are absurd. Double it or I walk.”

“I wonder what other sorts of illegal goods you got hidden in there.”

“You do realize that this sort of thing takes months to procure.”

“It’s a one of a kind.”

“I do not know what you are referring to.”

“Oh? And you think I, a law-abiding citizen, would sell something like that?”

“You look rather lost. What- never seen a market like this before?”

“Touch my wares again and you will find your fingers on sale.”

“Money up front or no goods.”

“Do I even want to know what that is?”

“You… are selling… what?”

“I got what you ordered- but it’s gonna cost you extra.”

“Either you go several thousand miles to get it yourself or buy what I have. Take it or leave.”

“Everything has a price, if one is willing to pay.”

“I’d suggest not going that way if you wish not becoming part of the merchandise.”

“…Ah… so you’re what they ordered, huh?”

“Not everyday I find myself in this backwater stain of the world.”

“You break it you replace it.”

“You wouldn’t be the first person I killed for something.”

“Hey I have to make a living somehow.”

“It’s not all that bad once you ignore the bloodstains.”

“If I catch wind of you whispering a word to this to anyone, I will know.”

“Perhaps you would be interested in buying an… heirloom…?

“Perhaps I could assist you in finding what you seek, but perhaps I could not.”

Black Market/Dubious Merchants Sentence Starters

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i literally said “hi” to a customer today and they replied “no”

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          MARCO  &  HIS  NEW  GREY  PUFFLE  :  DUSTY  !

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Grandpa Friend™:

- almost always grumpy - bad at showing affection but cares about their friends a lot - “what did you say?”, “Sorry i didn’t hear that, can you repeat it?” - often reminisces about their youth (even though they’re probably only in their twenties. Alternatively: “kids these days…”) - too old for this shit (see above) - totally not down with the youth - bad back (and everything else hurts too) - likes to complain

You’ve heard about Mom Friend and Dad Friend, now get ready for....

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HOW  LONG  HAS  IT  BEEN  \  SINCE  YOU  BEEN  AWAY   \  SINCE  THE  BEGINNING  BECAME  A  MEMORY  !

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♡ follow for more soft grump aesthetic ♡

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you’re yelling? at ME? the one person who has never done anything wrong ever?????