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One of my favourite customer interactions

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Original comic by Rasenth

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I want to be the first person on the moon to shoot a sniper rifle at earth and hit a wasp nest.  my whole life so far is leading up to that moment

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i think villains in general provide better, more epic romances because they're allowed to go to extremes. they're allowed to put their love over the greater good. they're allowed to be selfish. the best a hero can offer you is number two, because their duty comes first. villains, though. villains will burn down the world for a last kiss goodbye.

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The wildest thing about Ben 10 is that it took until 2005 for someone to have the idea "what if a kid could turn into a bunch of aliens" like this isn't obviously the coolest and most marketable premise for anything ever. Each design is a new toy. A new powerset. Come on.

But to prove that it wasn't a fluke, they continued to have the best ideas for every aspect of it. How does he transform? A cool watch you can also sell as a toy. That watch's name? Omnitrix. Say it. It's so satisfying. How many aliens? Ten. Nice round number. The kid's name? Ben. The show's name? Ben Ten. His full name is Benjamin Tennyson, a normal, plausible name, but he also turns into 10 aliens.

Bigger brands dream about this synergy. Better writers would kill for this coherence. So holistic. So intuitive. The identity alone!!! The retro alien sound motif? Chilling. The green? Any other color would be wrong. The kirby krackle pattern? It seems so obvious in retrospect. The roadtrip format? Genius. Lesser writers would've done the spider-man high school thing. His arch nemesis being Cthulhu darth vader? Inspired, iconic, intimidating!

The execution has its highs and lows, but the idea??? Game changing. So self-evident that it seems inevitable. If Ben 10 didn't exist, it would be necessary to invent him.

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Listen up. A monkey's paw fucks up your wish because it's designed that way. You can't perfectly phrase a monkey's paw wish. If you did manage to come up with a way for you to get exactly what you want without some horrible ironic consequence you'd probably just also get cancer or something

A genie will grant your wish however they see fit. Your wording doesn't matter. If they like you they'll grant the spirit of your wish. If they don't they'll fuck you up somehow. Depends on if the genie likes you. If you find the genie in the wild and do them a favor it's much more likely to go your way than if you found them imprisoned inside an object, but even then they may be amenable to granting you a nice wish or two depending on their mood and disposition

It's only fairies that fuck with your wording to be quite honest

Moral of the story is a genie is actually your safest bet

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This is the worst timeline. (x)

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Reblog to make it die faster

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魔女の宅急便 / Kiki’s Delivery Service 1989, dir. Hayao Miyazaki

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you! tumblr user!

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can you reblog a two-part post in the correct order?

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Actually all fossil reconstructions are wrong because flesh only evolved recently. Before that it was bone world

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Pokemon Beanie Baby Absol 🖤✨

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Humans are a bad influence

Human: It really is an amazing coincidence...

Ztsaxhi: Hey guys, the food replicator glitched out and gave me way more food than it should. Want some? It's kind of like human "chips."

Käfavayarlop: Is it safe for my species?

Ztsaxhi: Let me check... no poisons but...oh damn, the food guide says it has capsaicin that's painful for you. Sorry.

Human: Ooh, Let me have some then!

Ztsaxhi: Go ahead.

Käfavayarlop: But wait, weren't we just saying that Käfavayarlopen and humans have weirdly similar taste buds—

Human *bites into chip*: Wow! Hggh, that is— REALLY spicy! You were not kidding about capsaicin.

Ztsaxhi: Are you okay?

Human: Fine! It's actually good, I swear. *eats the rest of the chip*

Käfavayarlop: Your face is turning red.

Human: Yeah, capsaicin does cause pain, that's the spiciness, but it's a good kind of pain. It adds to the flavor. *takes another chip*

Ztsaxhi: So "spiciness" is just pain?

Human: Kind of. It's—It's an acquired taste.

Käfavayarlop: ...I want to try.

Ztsaxhi: No!

Human: Let them! Though I will warn you this is not beginner friendly.

Käfavayarlop: *bites* Sacred Gonork! My mouth is on fire!

Human: You good?

Käfavayarlop: No. *takes another bite*

Ztsaxhi: No, don't keep eating it!

Käfavayarlop: But it's good.

Human: Is bovine milk safe for them? We probably need it.

Ztsaxhi: I'll check, yes it is. Wait, is this what all those jokes about humans pairing Ztsaxhi cuisine with milk are about?

Human: Yeah, it helps with the pain.

Ztsaxhi: Why would you even eat food that hurts you?

Human and Käfavayarlop: It's an acquired taste.