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Got a bit of an upgrade last year.

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Interview with Anubis - Part 1

Interviewer: Welcome to tonight’s show. We have a very special guest tonight, a very rare get. I’d like to welcome Anubis to our set. Thank you for coming.

Anubis: You’re welcome, Mr. Roelofs.

Interviewer: Please, call me Riko. I suppose I should ask, do you mind being called Anubis? It is after all the Greek version of your name.

Anubis: Anubis is fine, Riko. I’ve been known by that sobriquet for as long now as I was known as Anpu, so it doesn’t really matter anymore.

Interviewer: Okay, Anubis it is, thank you. That brings me to our first question. It’s been a long time since you were actively worshiped by a civilization. How does that feel?

Anubis: It was certainly a major blow when it first happened. Of course when the Greeks successfully invaded Kemet… pardon me, that’s the old word for Egypt. When they invaded, I was one of the few of our pantheon to be fully accepted by the Greeks. Eventually I was melded with Hermes in their minds. Thankfully that was just a convenience for their sakes.

Interviewer: Did you get on well with Hermes?

Anubis: I can’t say we were friends, but we had enough in common to have no animosity, especially since no one was tossing one of us over for the other. We were able to come to terms and accept the perceived duality. In a lot of ways the division of labor gave us both down time for the first time in millenia.

Interviewer: So you managed to stay relevant during the Ptolemaic era?

Anubis: Yes. Egypt was still a very death-tolerant culture, and I of course played a major part in that.

Interviewer: Not as big a part as you once played, though. You were demoted from Lord of the Dead by Osiris. Did that cause any friction?

Anubis: Absolutely not. To be perfectly honest, I had enough duties as it was, being able to hand off the lordship allowed me to be more effective.

Interviewer: Right. You were… or are, I suppose I should say? The god of embalming, both as its inventor and overseer; chief physician; god of funerals; watcher and protector of tombs and cemeteries; guide of souls and master of scales in the Hall of Judgement; messenger of the gods; and nature god of dawn and twilight. Quite a job description.

Anubis: :: laughs :: Indeed.

Interviewer: That’s quite a bit for any one god to do.

Anubis: Thankfully we are able to have multiple aspects of ourselves perform the many duties; some of the other gods have different forms for these, but I suppose you could say where I need form I have a lot of identical clones.

Interviewer: And that is of the jackal?

Anubis: That’s actually a lot more complicated issue than you would think. The African golden wolf was much more common in Egypt from its beginning. The only species of jackal that usually wandered into Egypt was the golden jackal whose range was primarily on the other side of the Sinai. There was some interbreeding, but the golden wolf was the primary. It’s more of a modern misunderstanding to call golden wolves “jackals,” as there are many similarities but it is a case of what you would call “parallel evolution.”

Interviewer: I wasn’t aware that evolution was part of the belief system…

Anubis: It wasn’t at the time, of course. We gods knew better, but it was hard enough to get the people to behave themselves, let alone introduce concepts that didn’t even take a wide-spread hold in humanity until the last 75 years or so. And even that’s not universal to this day.

Interviewer: Of course. I beg your pardon then, your form is that of the golden wolf?

Anubis: Yes. Though of course the animal aspect was always black due to my connections with death. Keep in mind that was not considered a bad thing by the people then.

Interviewer: In many depictions where you have the jac… wolf head but human form the human part is shall we say, standard Egyptian? Yet now you’ve gone all black in this form.

Anubis: The “standard Egyptian” as you put it was primarily an acceptance issue. The people wanted to see some part of their god that was like them. Now it’s not important so I take a form that’s more comfortable, wreathing myself completely in the color of death.

Interviewer: You mentioned earlier that Egypt was a “death-tolerant culture.” Can you explain that for our viewers?

Anubis: I imagine that is a hard concept for modern Western Civilization to swallow. Death was seen as inevitable, and something one needed to prepare for through their lives because death was the bridge between life and everlasting life. If one didn’t prepare properly, you could either have your ba, or soul, devoured by Ammut or have it lost in the depths of the duat, or underworld as you would call it now I suppose. While the people were certainly in no hurry to die, they accepted it, and did not consider it an evil thing.

Interviewer: And all of this is where you come in?

Anubis: Absolutely. By inventing embalming I opened the door for the rituals that would ease the dead through the process. Being properly embalmed allowed for an easier transition for the ba from body to the duat. There, the aspect that is the Guide would lead people through to the Hall of Judgement, where another aspect would weigh their “hearts” on the scales against the feather of Ma’at… this is all figurative of course, the “weighing” was all metaphysical. Of course other cultures have come up with other methods and gods or processes to handle it, but this was the way of Kemet.

Interviewer: I’m curious about the role of Ammut.

Anubis: That part was slightly more literal, as Ammut is a very special and one of the few of us that has one role and one role only; to absorb the ba of those who did not abide by Ma’at. Even I could not do that without poisoning myself. Interviewer: And she was your…?

Anubis: I suppose you could call her my pet.

Interviewer: Who were her parents? As a part hippo, part lion and part croc, she definitely has more going on than one would expect.

Anubis: She wasn’t born in the normal sense of the word. Before the ascension of Osiris when I had to find some way of instituting the “second death,” I consulted Djehuty, that would be Thoth, as to what would be needed to accomplish this permanently. He gave it some thought and eventually gave me a recipe, for lack of a better term. I created her from various essences, including my own power.

Interviewer: Amazing. You said she’s like your pet… what do you give her for a treat?

Anubis: :: laughs :: I occasionally keep a particularly nasty ba around to give her for special occasions.

Interviewer: That’s fascinating. That brings us to a more sensitive question… the inscriptions and other writings we have found have been somewhat hazy on your parentage.

Anubis: Ah, yes. Obviously I took no great pains to fill in the gaps, as it was… sensitive.

Interviewer: Was? So you’re willing to talk about it with us tonight?

Anubis: I have been hesitant to over the millenia, but I wouldn’t have agreed to this interview if I wasn’t ready to talk. I am the son of Nebet-Het, or Nephthys as the Greeks coined it. That part has never been in doubt. As to my father, I am the son of Sutekh or Set.

Interviewer: Many thought you were the son of Osiris, since you’re not anything like Set but in coloring.

Anubis: Yes, and I consider Osiris my father as it was he who raised me. But biologically, for want of a better term for a god, my father is Set.

Interviewer: He was a bit of a controversial character.

Anubis: That’s an understatement. God of storms and chaos. The ultimate villain apart from Apep. Even when he fulfilled his role as a protector of Re he was fighting fire with fire, which is what made him so effective.

Interviewer: So why clear up the confusion now?

Anubis: Sometimes it takes even a god thousands of years to work out their psychological issues. Though at least I can say our pantheon was a little less crazy than the Greek/Roman line.

Interviewer: Did you encounter any prejudice due to your parentage?

Anubis: No, the others never gave me any problem. They understood better than I did for a long time that being a spawn of chaos doesn’t matter if you’re an arm of Ma’at. I couldn’t carry the Feather if I was anything like my father.

Interviewer: That’s an amazing insight, thank you for being so frank. – I’m afraid now we’ll have to take a break for our sponsors. We’ll be back in a bit.

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Interview with Anubis - Part 2

Interviewer: We’re back! We still have with us the god of funerals, Anubis, who has been very generous with his time. Thank you for sticking with us.

Anubis: My pleasure.

Interviewer: Before paying the bills got in the way we were talking about your family. All of the Egyptian gods are related in some way, yes?

Anubis: “In some way” would probably be the best way of stating it, yes.

Interviewer: Ah, so not to be indelicate here, but how does that work with marriages and mating?

Anubis: :: laughs :: First of all we are spiritual creatures, beings of energy. We don’t have DNA so our relationships are not based on whose genes went where. The creation of offspring is like a gathering of available energy and the molding of it by the parties responsible. So we don’t mate in the traditional sense.

Interviewer: Ah, I see; but… You are erm… anatomically accurate?

Anubis: We are, but then we’re shaped by those that worshiped us.

Interviewer: So then they’re, ah… decorative?

Anubis: My, we’re certainly pushing the boundaries of your networks rating maximum, aren’t we? :: laughs :: They’re functional, though again our mating is not biological so when the gods couple the ah… anatomical parts are for pleasure as much as it is for humans.

Interviewer: So when Set chopped Osiris up and kept–

Anubis: Best not bring up that subject in any greater detail, it’s still a sore spot, no pun intended, with the Lord of the Dead, and we wouldn’t want any smiting going on.

Interviewer: Ah, my apologies. :: clears throat :: Let’s move on to how this all relates to you, personally. There are varying accounts through the archeological record of your own mate. Most accounts place you with Anput, which is basically just a female form of yourself?

Anubis: Not exactly. This is another issue that is deeper than it appears. She is my “sister,” born in the days before Osiris’ ascension in the duat with the direct intention of assisting me with the many duties I have that we discussed earlier. While capable of taking the canine forms she generally kept with the human form. The records that show her as my wife are basically assuming that since we together brought forth Qeb-Hwt, or Kebechet as she’s more commonly known as in English. They assumed since we had a “daughter” together that we were mates.

Interviewer: So Anput is not your wife?

Anubis: No. Our relationship is that of siblings. The process that created Kebechet was as clinical as the one that created Anput herself, or what I did in creating Ammut. Not that we don’t adore her as we would a daughter.

Interviewer: Then does that lend more credence to other accounts that place you and Bastet together?

Anubis: :: low chuckle :: She’ll probably scratch me for this after I return to the duat, but we have dallied. But then she’s dallied a lot. A cat in heat isn’t picky, you know.

Interviewer: Oh my. Well I certainly hope she accepts my invitation to be on the show to get her own take on that.

Anubis: You might want to move to a streaming network or HBO. She’s got quite a mouth on her. But then again. Cat.

Interviewer: You seem to have a somewhat antagonistic view of her.

Anubis: Not antagonistic per se, but we do have that age old battle of dogs vs. cats that puts some spice into our interactions.

Interviewer: No current flame, then?

Anubis: No. We’re not all like Osiris and Isis who have what you humans would call a more standard marriage. Especially those of us who are forced into many different aspects to perform all our duties. Some of us just don’t have enough to go around for more than a fun interlude now and then, and some of us simply don’t want to do more than that.

Interviewer: Does that bother you? All work and no play make Anubis a dull boy, as the saying goes?

Anubis: It did at times when Kemet was at the height of its civilization. Now it’s hardly an issue.

Interviewer: That brings us to another discussion point: what’s it like to be a “retired” god?

Anubis: I’m not technically retired. There are still those who follow the old ways, or have brought them back in a way that keeps me in bodies and bas. Other more obscure gods in our pantheon have suffered the fate of finding themselves in that position though.

Interviewer: So it hasn’t changed much for you over the thousands of years?

Anubis: Oh it has changed. I always used to need to keep an aspect in the Hall of Judgement, and my more widespread presence over embalming. Now I just pop in when I’m needed, rather like being on call. I have enough time to enjoy myself a little bit, go on vacations, go do television show interviews.

Interviewer: :: laughs :: Which we’re all very grateful for. Then can you enlighten us as to what it’s like for those that have been retired?

Anubis: First of the lack of spiritual energy they receive from lack of active worship or belief limits them to their base aspect. No splitting themselves around in multiple places to do multiple things independently anymore. It also keeps them in the duat, they can’t emerge into the regular human world anymore. But there are thousands of minor deities that this has happened to, so they have each other, and the rest of the pantheon does not forget them. I bring Ammut around, let them play with her, through bones for her to catch, that sort of thing. That usually doesn’t fail to perk them up for a while.

Interviewer: It almost sounds like they’re living in a rest home like in the Kane Chronicles from Rick Riordan!

Anubis: :: huffs :: Djehuty just can’t help himself sometimes.

Interviewer: :: confused look ::

Anubis: As the god of all knowledge and the god of writing he takes a liking to certain scientists and authors, gives them tidbits of information. Howard Carter didn’t stumble on the tomb of Tutankhamun. Djehuty knew the poor fellow only had one year left in the Valley of the Kings and steered him in the right direction. I’m certain he did the same with Mr. Riordan, giving him tidbits of what’s going on in the modern duat.

Interviewer: :: laughs :: That’s brilliant! It also partly answers my next question. What are the other major gods up to?

Anubis: Well, Djehuty will never change. He will continue to document everything, and occasionally pop into the human world and drop some knowledge bombs. He makes the Greek muses seem like teases. Wesir, that would be Osiris, has plenty of dead to continue to lord over, and Auset (Isis) remains by his side with most of her being, though her other aspects continue to operate. She perhaps more than anyone remained relevant long past the downfall of Kemet. Her cult still operates in certain areas. Re, in his many forms and hybrid aspects still does his thing. Heru, i.e. Horus, is also quite active in his many aspects, though has a bit more downtime that he did during the height of Kemet.

Interviewer: It seems the downfall of a civilization doesn’t have quite the deleterious effect on its deities as one would expect.

Anubis: That depends on the civilization and the deities. Kemet had such a lasting impact on the Western world that we have not faded as others have. Interviewer: So what’s next for you? Anything exciting planned?

Anubis: More of the same, really. I have been spending more time in a virtual world, it allows me to be myself without scaring people to death. I prefer to let them come to me in their own time.

Interviewer: :: nods graciously :: That’s all the time we have for today. Many thinks to Anubis for being with us for today’s interview. Up next, special musical guest…