perksofbeingmarc

[perksofbeingmarc]

Dear friend,

Hi! So remember the last time I wrote you a letter? I was very sad that time but lately things are getting pretty positive for me. I drive pro-ish now lol. I get to go to places that I want to like the beach. Thanks to the lockdown. My parent’s break-up is starting to grow in me I mean I’m still sad about what happened but I’m starting to be okay with it. And oh my grandparents in my mother’s side bought me a car but I’m not quite sure if it’s really for me but I’m sure no one will be able to use it when they head back to the US. 

I’m at the beach right now and I’m with my dad’s friends. I’m here because I want my dad to be happy. I want us to bond more. The lockdown gave us time to bond and I think that’s just the start. I don’t know I’m really happy right now.

Also, I have a new partner now! Hehe. This one loves me so much it’s unbelievable. Like waaaay way better than the last one. It’s like rainbow after the rain. Well, I guess that’s all for now. 

Love always, Rein

9:29 AM, 02/20/20, Cabangan, Zambales

[perksofbeingmarc]

PUTANGINA

Magtatagalog na ko ha? Hahaha tanginang yan. Aanglungkot tangina yung crush ko kasi nagstory ng naka-close friend tapos kasama yung boyfriend niya. Kaya pala hindi na ko kinausap. -_- 

[perksofbeingmarc]

Perks of being a wallflower

Dear friend,

I haven’t told you yet but my favorite movie is the perks of being a wallflower. I’ve been lying to everyone that I’ve read the book but the truth is I haven’t finished it yet. My ex gave me the book but yeah I haven’t finished it yet. This movie is my sad movie Not like it’s sad, but whenever something’s wrong I feel like watching it and also The Fault in the Stars. But this one is my favorite. 

Well, here’s the point really. I just got out of a 4 year relationship and I haven’t moved on yet. I think I wont be able to move on that fast because this person is a very very different person. Not the type of person you’ll meet in a daily basis. But yeah I guess that’s why I’ve decided to come in a relationship with this person. And on the 5th of January 2020, we broke up. I really don’t know what to do, I didn’t even try to chase or anything I don’t no. But I feel really sad. 

I’ve been watching perks and last night I think I saw my ex tweet about watching perks and a thread review about the movie. The thread was about loving one’s self and not being afraid of being alone. Well maybe I guess I’m afraid of being alone but you know I always planned my whole life being with my ex, I never thought this would be happening, This quarantine is just dark and being in this state? It gets darker and darker, 

Love always, Rein

2:48AM, 03/30/20

[perksofbeingmarc]

Dear friend,

It’s been 2 weeks of community quarantine and I’m here in manila rn. There’s a pandemic virus called covid-19, a strain of corona virus. Life here is really hard right now. no traspos, there’s no restaurants and everything closes at 8PM because of the curfew. So you have to buy everything you need before the curfew siren rings. I miss going out. I miss home. Worst part is that the cases all around the world is showing numbers, each and everyday it spreads really fast. I’m kinda scared what if I get infected too? I’ve been going out most of the time to buy food and utilities. I hope this thing ends sooner. 

Love always, Marc

2:33AM, 03/30/20

[perksofbeingmarc]

Dear friend,

Bit early for another letter but less than ten hours after writing to you feels so dark. Didn’t get enough sleep last night sobbing myself to exhaust. Everytime I close my eyes, sad memories always come up. It’s not very easy. Went to school for the first time this week and it’s already Thursday. I’m writing to you now whilst my physiology professor is dicussing renal symphathetic nerves. And I’m absorbing nothing. This is why I thought of writing to you again.

I hate going to school. Everytime I see my classmates, I always envy on how they always look like they have everything figured out. And they evidently only experience minimal struggle whilst their dilemmas are just so inappropriate. I mean they seem like they have everything in life, like yeah nobody’s life is perfect but u get it?

Anyways I’ll be heading to the dean’s now to drop my anatomy subject.

Love always, Rein

10:05, 02/20/20

[perksofbeingmarc]

“In ten years time, I want to live in a house with big windows, I want the house to be large enough to have a kitchen table with four chairs but not too roomy to ever feel the depth of my aloneness.

Because I’ll probably be alone. But I think aloneness wont feel so all-consuming with windows that protect me from the world but still let me watch it”.

-Maeve Wiley, Sex Education

[perksofbeingmarc]

Dear friend,

Not in a good place right now. Been hurting and going through a lot. I’m sorry I haven’t been writing to you. It’s been four years. Last time I wrote about me being happy with someone, well, we just broke up earlier this year. I must say I‘ve been holding on to quite good reasons why we need to fall apart but it’s been sad. Actually sadder because mid-last year, I just found out, well not actually found out because I already anticipated this to happened eversince, but yeah I just knew that my parents broke up. Like it’s been official. I mean having everyone know, it has been a very very hard pill for me to swallow. And also yeah I now got into med school. The problem is I feel like I’m too miserable to juggle everything. It’s like my big emotional stress is holding me back from doing and figuring out everything. It feels like my whole world is slowly shattering. I was hoping I could write you something happy atleast but I guess this is all I’ve got. You are my favorite and I feel like you are all I’ve got. Love always, Rein.

PS. Today is our monthsary supposedly. 4 years and 4 months. I ate chicken mcdo for dinner, alone, and still didn’t eat the skin.

23:10 02/19/2020

[perksofbeingmarc]

Happiness

Hi. Gusto ko lang sabihin sayo na andaming nangyari. Lilipat na ko ng TUA wala na ko sa FEU, hindi na ko FTG. Pero masaya ako kasi nandyan siya. Yun lang. Salamat. 03:03, 11/13/15

[perksofbeingmarc]

Ugh

Bakit ganun nasaktan ako nung nalaman kong sila padin. 8th na nila. 😫 Angsakit! Buti pa sila umabot sa ganun. Hindi ko alam kung maiiyak ba ko oh ano. Wala naman ako maiyakan ikaw lang. Ugh gusto ko magwala umalis magwalwal! Di ko maiwasan na lumungkot. Naiinis ako sobra. 😓😫

[perksofbeingmarc]

Dear friend,

First post. Omg. Hahaha! Hi! I'm looking forward to spend my lifetime with you. Mamahalin kita katulad ng pagmamahal na binubos ko dati. Ems blog ka lang eh. Ayun perp atleast diba makakalayo ako sa mga taong immature at walang alam kundi magselfie at magpost ng mga walang kwenta. Lalo na yung mga happy mobthsary ganun. Ewan leche. Ayun hahah naeexcite ako yun lang. See you again the soonest! Putangina June na! I hate it when the month changes. Ibig sabihin kasi 1st day of the month. Number one lamuyon. Ewan tangina. Anglabo Love always, Rein 1:08, 06/01/15