person-on-the-net

[person-on-the-net]

So last month I got hit by a car and died right. Which I didn't initially realize until I watched some guy haul my body into his pickup and drive off. Which, being that it's deep in rural Michigan, I assume means my body will make some venison jerky and maybe some wall decoration, and I'll be resigned to being one of hundreds of deer ghosts floating around Saginaw, which is w/e. But then I find out the guy works at a taxidermy shop or something, and he's actually pretty good at stuffing and mounting deer carcasses, which I come to find out when I find myself face to face with my old body in the shop window. So naturally, I figure since ghosts need to possess something to interact with the living world and etc etc etc the most logical thing to do is to possess my own body, since it's basically a statue of myself. And a little surprisingly, it actually fits like a glove. Like, since it's my body, it feels like stepping right back into place. So I get out of town and back to my herd, eventually. And that's where the trouble starts coming into it, because after I get settled again, I don't know how to explain to everyone else what feels so weird. Like since I can move my body and do everything I used to do, it's functionally the same, like nothing happened. Or it SHOULD be, so I don't know how to explain how it's NOT. But it's just hard to explain it to someone who's never been hit by a truck I guess

[person-on-the-net]

[person-on-the-net]

me contemplating the human condition

[person-on-the-net]

But here's the stomper

[person-on-the-net]

i love being a fag and a pansy and a fairy and a pervert and awhat who the fuck is egg bacon

[person-on-the-net]

“protect children” <- reactionary drivel basically every time

“be kind to children” <-radical thinking that causes way more arguments than you would ever imagine

[person-on-the-net]

The human body's response to HRT is actually admirable in the sheer indifference. Just pure I Don't Give A Shit, I Just Fucking Work Here compliance to the new instructions. You can get testosterone injected straight into your body and it doesn't even question where that shit came from, coming back from a coffee break and just going

"Okay, everything seems to be in ord- oh fuck now what? Oh huh. Alright fine. New orders came in, cancel the menstrual cycle. Dig up the genetic balding patterns from somewhere, I don't fucking know they're buried somewhere in the dna. I'm greenlighting the growing-hair-on-your-toes thing. Yeah just cancel the ongoing maintenance processes, new orders came in so this is apparently what we're doing now."

[person-on-the-net]

This is probably my favorite image of all time I first saw it years ago and it has stuck in my head since then. The only vibes I’ll ever need

[person-on-the-net]

Do you not like Twenty Øne Piløts?

the fact that you took the time to put the slashes in the Os tells me that this is probably not a conversation we should have

[person-on-the-net]

Everyone's like "The new Pope isnt welcoming to gay people and has covered up child abuse" like. Fork found in kitchen?

[person-on-the-net]

Almost didn’t see him at first

[person-on-the-net]

When you are unemployed, mysterious voices will tell you to "become a youtuber" but you must remind yourself that it's probably the amulet talking. The amulet you found last week, near the park. It has given you good advice so far, but there is always a line that you shouldn't cross.

[person-on-the-net]

Cary Elwes is known for WHAT

Ted Cruz is a fan OF WHAT

WHAT NOW

[person-on-the-net]

fondly remembering when pope francis said he hopes hell is empty. top pope francis moments. right up there with him saying some seminaries are too faggy

[person-on-the-net]

always remember gay men are the reason we dont have to pay for public bathrooms in canada

[person-on-the-net]