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me: if only there was a fruit that looks like an apple but is actually a pear

the baffling papple:

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no one appreciates that i could be a million times worse

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my take on the miss piggy/morticia addams sexywoman poll is that while morticia would lose gracefully, miss piggy would 1000% attempt murder over the label and morticia would respect her for it. then theyd go out for tea and gossip together

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They don’t tell you this but in the United States there is an extremely low chance to encounter a vehicle shaped like a hotdog

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Mountain lion kitten attacking mom, Bandelier National Monument, New Mexico. NPS photo.

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You'll never fuck a weird bitch if you have no whimsy

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big plans tonight

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everyone should watch this video. just learned something new. the usa is still genociding indigenous people and they won't stop.

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* (Oh, these parentheses I keep opening?

* (I'm collecting them.

* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.

* (Oh, my precious parentheses... (I don't ever want to close them!

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your humorous post has delighted me. i will now absorb it into my dark crystal

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10/10 dad joke

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One unrealistic thing about cults in fiction is how there's usually only one evil cult with a unique name.

If you have The Fellowship of the Bleeding Star you also need a Heralds of the Bleeding Star and The Fellowship of the Heralds of the Bleeding Star and the Bleeding Star Fellowship and Reformed Bleeding Star Fellowship and the Union of Bleeding Star Congregations which includes the previous groups but not the Heralds because they disbanded into the New Heralds and Restoration Heralds in 1987.

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the woker

why so faggot...

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this feels derivative of a beany tuesday comic but i felt it was the best way to convey this phenomenon