phalrex

[phalrex]

"Worry is a waste of imagination"

[phalrex]

[phalrex]

i'm very excited about the music i'm making u guys

[phalrex]

i've got it

[phalrex]

[phalrex]

i want to have a love again and feel myself settle again. i think i haven't felt secure in my connection to someone in a very long time. im lucky to have friends though. i went to a gay party at this restaurant tonight and i ran into my friends. it was sweet. one of my friends brought this guy with him, who i've met before and liked, but this guy kept going around and flirting right in front of my friend. it made them so upset, i told them that it just proves his character. it made me feel bad and i actually began feeling social anxiety bc of it. i want to be in a secure relationship with someone im truly in love with. then its like, i wont have to go to these parties anymore and my real friends can go on hikes and surf and come home for dinner.

my ex suprised me by showing up at my friend and old roommates bday on friday. i was so immature. i felt so insecure. i asked my friend if he came with anyone and was flirting with anyone like an insecure child. it was hard to see him surrounded by all these hot gay guys who he, of course, would have no problem at getting what he wanted. he left early, i think he could feel me. we spoke on the phone and i told him how i felt. that was good.

im afraid of the unconditional love i have for him. im afraid that ill be at a party and see him making a move on someone else. im afraid that he will find a new boyfriend and i will meet them in a party and not feel secure. im afraid that he will move on and leave me behind.

im afraid i wont move on, im afraid i wont meet the guy im looking for, im afraid ill be hurt by someone i love.

i am moving through all of this still- my social battery is low.

[phalrex]

i'm obsessed with her

[phalrex]

once my hair is long it's over

[phalrex]

lol brushing my hair out after making music for hours i lost one of my earrings

[phalrex]

valentina vaccarella at gaylord

[phalrex]

[phalrex]

[phalrex]

guy i have sex with occasionally got me these incense i like and ice cream

[phalrex]

went to a party at the hollywood roosevelt and it was the first time in my adult life that i felt too old for something

[phalrex]

i am never having burger king at 2 am ever again

[phalrex]

sex and art and magic