phannibal

[phannibal]

The X-Files 2.02 | "The Host"

[phannibal]

this is genuinely the funniest thing i’ve seen in weeks. love wins 🫶

[phannibal]

The X-Files 2.14 | "Die Hand Die Verletzt"

[phannibal]

here goes nothing

[phannibal]

glasses arrived!!!! scully if she was butch or something idk

[phannibal]

[phannibal]

THE X-FILES | 7x05 'RUSH'

[phannibal]

just realized i never posted my list of favorite x files eps so let’s GO!!! before i jump in here’s the criteria i used to decide if an ep made it on this list (eps with all 3 are marked in bold):

is it Good (“objective” quality in story, direction, etc. and overall cohesion),

is it compelling (am I sat),

and how crazy is the msr (woven into the ep not just 1 scene). in absence of (or in addition to) msr it can also be like. how crazy is the scully or mulder characterization.

bonus least favorite episodes are marked in red. typically these are because of the writer not taking the characters seriously or contempt for the genre or scully crimes or wasted potential. currently accepting asks telling me how correct my opinions are.

one final note this list is from my nov ‘24–feb ‘25 rewatch and some of my opinions have changed. addendums are in blue!

SEASON 1

1x01 pilot, chris carter. iconic. the blueprint of the blueprint. the beginning of it all (good, msr)

1x03 squeeze, glen morgan & james wong. trust building, other agent, already developing codependency (good, compelling, msr)

1x08 ice, glen morgan & james wong. obviously. like obviously (good, compelling, msr)

1x13 beyond the sea, morgan & wong. crucial crucial scully episode. first instance of role reversal (good, compelling, msr)

1x20 darkness falls, carter. vashta nerada ep. semi unsatisfying ending but such a good premise and good side characters and good conflict (good, msr)

1x21 tooms, morgan & wong. sequel to squeeze, established trust, lying for him, first skinner appearance (good, msr)

SEASON 2

finding it harder to single out top tier episodes in this season bc the average quality is higher than in s1; there’s overall fewer duds. i wouldn’t say there’s many duds in s1, i def like way more of it now

2x01 little green men, morgan & wong. mytharc but like early mytharc so it’s bearable. cool incorporation of real science (good, compelling, msr)

2x03 blood, morgan & wong. such good cinematography and sick voiceovers from each of them (good, msr)

2x06 ascension, paul brown. hard to say if it’s a GOOD episode or just compelling. insane msr dynamics but has mytharc residue all over it (compelling, msr)

2x08 one breath, morgan & wong. compelling AND good. another crucial scully ep. mytharc base but that’s not really the point (good, compelling, msr)

2x13 irresistible, carter. classic horror ep, scully centric, nutter directed so it’s also beautiful (good, msr)

2x19 død kalm, howard gordon. lost at sea accelerated aging. good side characters & mystery & msr (good, msr)

2x24 anasazi, carter & dd. maybe I just fucking like mytharc. although this is more of a “let’s make fucked up things happen to mulder” win (compelling, msr)

SEASON 3

3x01 the blessing way, carter. flip side: let’s make scully deal with fucked up things (compelling, msr)

3x08 oubliette, charles grant craig. empathic link kidnapping victims. good mulder ep specifically (good, compelling, mulder)

3x12 war of the coprophages, darin morgan. it’s sooo funny to write scully as a bitch bc she’s a woman. take this shit seriously please

3x13 syzygy, carter. it’s SOOOO funny to write scully as a bitch. and for mulder to shit talk her behind her back. literally the darin morgan influence bc cc did not write eps like this before this season. forever a hater of two “funny” episodes back to back. okay amendment despite everything scully does retain some agency in this ep and actually reacts to mulder’s insane behavior. so no scully crimes I guess. honestly it’s less ooc and more that they’re believably in a fight. god I can’t decide if I love or hate this one. i would say i fall on the side of enjoying syzygy, i think seeing it back to back with coprophages just put a bad taste in my mouth lmao. i love when they’re at each other’s throats and like obviously that’s the point here

3x14 grotesque, howard gordon. mulder goes too deep except not really. beautiful shots, she cares about him, kept watching even though I was trying to make gifs. aka: (good, compelling, msr)

3x17 pusher, vince gilligan. obviously like obviously. (good, compelling, msr)

3x21 jose chung’s from outer space, darin morgan. yayyy another unserious ass dm ep this time with rape subplot. AND it’s boring. this is my absolute least favorite episode of the entire show and i will never understand why it’s a fan favorite. genuinely feel like i must’ve watched something different

3x22 quagmire, kim newton. how a lighthearted episode should feel. nessie and moby dick metaphors. honestly very run of the mill ep but has a little extra magic (good, msr)

3x23 wetwired, mat beck. you know I love a tv episode about tv. scully trauma + fun science + mr. x spookiness (good, compelling, msr)

SEASON 4

4x02 home, morgan & wong. genetic disorder baby incest family “most fucked up” episode award. sex convo scene. (good, compelling)

4x05 the field where I died, morgan & wong. they sure can tell a good and fucked up story with impeccable characterization woven throughout. cult reincarnation regression hypnosis soulmates. (good, msr/mulder)

4x08 tunguska and 4x09 terma, cc and frank spotnitz. largely mytharc shit that never matters again but watching mulder physically abuse krycek for 40 minutes fills my heart with joy. also mulder torture and charlottesville. for terma it’s mostly just off the charts scully loving mulder (compelling, msr) (like literally tunguska is compelling and terma is msr neither are both at the same time)

4x10 paper hearts, vince gilligan. off the charts incredible episode. intense mulder insight and mystery you’re on the edge of your seat for the whole thing (good, compelling, msr/mulder)

4x12 leonard betts, vince gilligan & john shiban & frank spotnitz. if it was a regular episode it would be batting average but since it is an elaborate and intentional set up for cancer arc it’s actually kind of genius. definitely better to appreciate it with that knowledge and to know exactly what point it’s coming to. (good, compelling)

4x13 never again, morgan & wong. scully scully scully scully scully scully scully I love you. you are so crazy and perfect you are my best friend. but for real this is The scully ep- we get to see her without her work mask (put together, in control) OR her mulder mask (comfortable silly in love etc) on and instead get to see her be naturally fucking weird and awkward and make bad decisions. such provocative commentary on her relationship with mulder with only a few lines of dialogue and the SILENCE as the ep ends god. also the music (both score and soundtrack) goes off in this ep in a way it rarely does (good, compelling, msr, SCULLY)

4x14 memento mori, by fucking everyone ig damn. so goddamn much happens in this episode I almost wish it was like five different eps. scully voiceover god tier. possibly the blue ribbon msr episode. just enough mytharc nothingness at the plot level to keep it from being a genuinely good story in and of itself. (compelling, msr but like extra msr points)

4x20 small potatoes, vince gilligan. god I expected better from him. things can be silly without being stupid. I understand that it’s difficult to watch on purpose but I just don’t enjoy that kind of thing. I know they are queen of not talking about it but god for once can an event’s impact on their relationship be addressed or even just implied instead of something I have to make up in my head

4x22 elegy, john shiban. autism bowling episode. deals heavily w scully’s impending mortality. she loves him and he lashes out (good, compelling, msr)

4x24 gethsmane, carter. it’s not that I can’t stand it it’s just SO MUCH mytharc nothingness to the point that it’s like. literally this entire episode stands on the word of some guy we’ve never met and we don’t even know what his word is. “he told a story that made me believe” is the extent of detail we get. HELLO?? like obviously we are being misled in other ways this episode maybe I’ll change my mind watching redux but god So Much Nothing

SEASON 5

season of hard hitters but also the beginning of the decline into stupidity

5x01-02 redux i/ii, carter. okay. a lot of mytharc nothingness based on 4x24 but it actually feels like something coming to a head. like this was the end of x files 1.0. there’s a sense of things being wrapped up although if you actually look at a play by play of the plot I don’t think anything is. probably second place msr story. (compelling, msr)

5x04, detour, spotnitz. mothmennn. good example of lighthearted ep. very m&s driven and the campfire scene is one of their best in the show. I try not to let it matter in the ratings but they are so beautiful in this one (good, compelling, msr)

5x05, the post-modern prometheus, carter. I’m not sat for this episode. I don’t think the story is particularly noteworthy. I don’t like unserious episodes. and yet??? somehow the campiness and black&white and cher combine to give it a certain allure. the last two minutes are doing a lot of heavy lifting which I said I wouldn’t let happen but come onnn just this once. honorary placement here. (literally none)

5x06 christmas carol / 5x07 emily, gilligan, spotnitz, & shiban. christmas carol is significant scully episode paired with genuinely enticing mystery and awesome dream sequences. (good, compelling, scully). emily starts so crazy strong and has some of the most intense msr of the show but alien storyline kind of goes all over the place and devolves and drags out. but then the end is strong as fuck too. (compelling, msr)

5x08 kitsunegari, gilligan & TIM MINEAR. pusher 2 breakout version now with 100% more twins (good, compelling, msr)

5x12 bad blood, gilligan. sorryyyyy I just genuinely hate a funny episode. I do like the pov concept and obviously that lends itself to a certain amount of comedy but I just wish we could have non-ridiculous episodes that focus on their characterization/relationship. even the crazy interesting parts of this ep feel like they can’t be extrapolated to the larger show bc of how exaggerated for comedic effect it is

5x18 the pine bluff variant, shiban. heists and double crossing and torture (good, compelling, msr)

5x19, folie a deux, gilligan. hostage situation, they butt heads, she saves him. (good, compelling, msr)

SEASON 6

an extremely “love it or hate it” season, surprising lack of mid episodes

6x02 drive, gilligan. gotta go fast. mulder’s first second antisemitism. (good, compelling)

6x03 triangle, carter. I loveee creative direction I love time travel I love watching scully navigate bureaucracy. (good, compelling, msr)

6x04-05 dreamland, spotnitz/shiban/gilligan. this was honestly easier to stomach the second go round but my complaints remain the same. I know the concept lends itself to a certain amount of comedy but I still wish they had played it straighter. scully crimes bc she’s not that stupid. suspension of disbelief issues bc no way they’re just like okay bye forever. “and it never happened at all” is the laziest ending in the entire world

6x06 how the ghosts stole christmas, carter. he does not “listen to her droning rationalizations” just bc the alternative is being alone. her “one joy in life” is not to prove him wrong. I don’t care if chris carter said it the past five years just do not indicate that in any way. addendum i think part of the point is that these things aren’t true and that’s why they escape/get a sweet ending but the following is all still true. this could be such an interesting psychological horror and insight into their relationship but it can’t take itself seriously for two minutes what with the fart jokes and over-acting (direction’s fault not theirs). genuinely such wasted potential

6x08 the rain king, jeffrey bell. stupid. unserious. it was not the flick of a switch

6x10 tithonus, gilligan. scully violence and immortality. (good, compelling, scully)

6x12 one son, carter & spotnitz. genuinely terrible script like every single person’s lines sound stilted and bad. and even beyond just not liking fowley, cc is blatantly using her/mulder to piss off the audience instead of like. for actual plot reasons. top disrespectful episode for that alone. AND it’s so much mytharc “yes and” bs

6x13 agua mala, david amann. silly but the way a doctor who episode is silly. fun ensemble cast and cool medical shit ft. doctor scully. (compelling)

6x14 monday, gilligan & shiban. I already love timeloops and this episode alters that narrative tool in an interesting way by asking “what if someone else could get pulled into the timeloop?” I love that the focus of the story is a side character. I love that she has to die. literal chills at “this hasn’t happened before.” bonus mulder bleeding out in scully’s arms and both of them repeatedly rushing to the other’s rescue (good, compelling, msr)

6x21 field trip, gilligan & shiban. dreams within dreams are also a sort of time loop and this shit rules. awesome use of role switching in absence of the other and doubt as a theme. love when she thinks he’s dead (good, compelling, msr)

6x22 biogenesis, carter & spotnitz. I do love mulder mind reading and being in pain but GODDD we are doing such a stupid “oooh aliens wrote the bible” storyline. and then you put fowley in it too but the fridging is hilarious it has to be said

SEASON 7

potentially most mid season

7x01-02 sixth extinction, carter & dd. oh my GOD can I please have ONE cohesive story I’m fucking sick of “and then what if and then what if and then what if”!!! and never any fucking consequences bc this show has the short term memory of a goldfish. and let’s time skip any interesting parts while we’re at it

7x07 orison, chip johannessen. loveee a return to an og case. love scully trauma and role reversal and role of religion. helps that it’s beautiful (good, compelling, msr) i would actually hedge on the “good” distinction now bc how the narrative handles scully killing pfaster is so bizarre. like if mulder had shot someone we would not be scrutinizing it like this

7x08 the amazing maleeni, those three. stupid as fuck. it’s okay soon they’ll get it out of their system with the lone gunmen show

7x10 sein und zeit / 7x11 closure, carter & spotnitz. was not expecting this to make it on here. is this an underwhelming end for samantha? yes but that’s every prior samantha story’s fault, not this one’s. genuinely interesting crime A plot with insane mulder emotions mixed in and beautiful soundtrack and like. yeah. closure. (compelling, msr)

7x17 all things, the loml. “everything happens for a reason” and the concept of a series of choices leading you to where you are is my shit. like 22 year old scully simultaneously being a victim and a homewrecker is awesome. I wish the resolution was less like. ooo mystical eastern religion. (gooood?, compelling, msr)

7x19 hollywood AD, dd. sorry but it’s stupid

7x20 fight club, cc. also stupid. where are the main characters

SEASON 8

things are serious again!!! we can actually go 44 minutes without the show pointing and laughing at itself!!!

8x04 roadrunners, gilligan. awesome fucked up cult shit and scully recklessly doing her own thing and getting tortured about it. beginnings of genuine trust btwn her and doggett. (good, compelling, scully)

8x14 this is not happening, cc & spotnitz. literally 44 minutes of your heart breaking over and over. actual good use of previous characters? suspenseful as fuck in a way where your questions get answered? mytharc hasn’t done it like this since s2 (good, compelling, msr)

8x20 essence, cc. [40 minutes of a guy walking slowly towards the camera] let’s just bring back krycek for the millionth time that will surely make things interesting. does scully do one single thing to impact the story here

8x21 existence, cc. woww what a good choice to split up the main duo for this ep that definitely makes sense. peak scully as vessel for baby and nothing else. also I feel like her dialogue about the baby is just so weird and unnatural

i didn’t rewatch s9-11 but it’s probably safe to imagine a lot of red

[phannibal]

THE X-FILES | 7x05 'RUSH'

[phannibal]

how has it only been five out of 7-10 business days of waiting for my glasses i am ready for them nowww

[phannibal]

The X-Files 2.14 | "Die Hand Die Verletzt"

[phannibal]

She would not fucking say that. Yes she said that in canon, but I perceive a greater truth unaffected by her writer's misogyny

[phannibal]

[phannibal]

Some slightly fruity (but hopefully not limp-wristed) surgeon hands for your enjoyment

[phannibal]

I think some of you guys are lying about wanting someone to put out a cigarette on you tbh I think some of you would cry

[phannibal]

"are they lovers?" worse, they're sherlock and watson variants.

[phannibal]

finally ordered the custom license plate i’ve wanted for ages and it’s something i absolutely want to show the mutuals however posting your license plate on the internet seems like a bad idea