phansterdam

[phansterdam]

REMEMBER:

if you don't understand the post at a glance it's because op wrote it wrong and needs your help

if the post doesn't contain all the contextualising information you need to understand it, op is gaslighting you

if you haven't experienced the phenomenon the post describes, op is making it up for clout

if you haven't encountered the type of person the post describes, they're a strawman that doesn't exist

if the post doesn't address a topic you'd prefer to talk about, it's a distraction, missing the point, and talking over you

if the post makes a good point, it is your duty to contribute to human enlightenment by nitpicking it to be more correct

and most importantly:

every online conversation is a competition and you must win

[phansterdam]

[phansterdam]

phannie phrases tournament: sappy edition

I wonder how biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you want to do is be with someone.

Dan tweet, 11.22.2009

VS

I want to be there so you don't have to be brave.

Dan tweet, 10.11.2009

polls stay open for 1 week. don’t forget to reblog for sample size!

all round 2 polls

all tournament posts

[phansterdam]

rb with whether people assume you’re older or younger than your actual age

[phansterdam]

Uhh enemy nation 100% has weapons of mass destruction, we promise, therefore we are taking the wise and sensible position of initiating antagonisms with enemy nation we’re claiming can destroy the planet. No this isn’t like the other times we said that and maybe sort of lied to the world so we could regime change an adversarial country’s chosen leadership for material wealth and empire that’s absurd. Why would you accuse us of doing something we’ve done before? This is a just and moral bombing campaign this time!

[phansterdam]

instead of assuring everyone that it “isn’t a phase”, why don’t we just assure everyone that if it is a phase it’s fine? it’s healthy to figure yourself out? because if we tell everyone it’s not a phase and it ends up being a phase, those people are going to feel guilty, like they stole resources or wasted time. It’s not bad to ‘go through a phase’. It’s a healthy way of finding out who you are. And if it isn’t a phase, that’s fine too. But if it is, there’s no reason to feel bad.

[phansterdam]

it's like the old saying goes, The customer is always wrong and it's legal to kill them

[phansterdam]

they should invent an apartment that has huge windows but is never too hot and is near everything i like and all my friends but is also quiet when i want it to be and costs zero dollars or perhaps they pay me to live in. and they save it just for me so i dont have to look for it :)

[phansterdam]

no yeah thanks for welcoming me to womanhood again but like yeah this man is in fact currently following me home can we maybe address that aspect

[phansterdam]

one of my favorite twitter accounts that is defunct now is it was this account called like Crazy Optical Illusions or something and they would just post popular optical illusions but edit them so they werent optical illusions anymore and they would just pretend and people would be very confused / angry in the comments

[phansterdam]

i get that americans love their cultural imperialism, but it really does piss me off that june is “international” pride month just because something happened in the united states.

in aotearoa, june isn’t our pride, it’s theirs. martha p johnson and sylvia rivera are their historical figures, not ours. the phrase that “you owe your rights to Black trans women” is true there, but here we owe our rights to (mostly) Māori historical figures. i have the freedoms i do because of the legacy of an entirely different set of people operating in an entirely different context at entirely different times.

But because of american cultural imperialism, most queer people in Aotearoa don’t even know our own queer history. Carmen Rupe, Ngahuia Te Awekotuku, the Dorian Society, Gillian Laundon, Georgina Beyer, and the Wolfenden Association are some of our queer history. We should know their names! we should know what they did for us! but because of the power of the american imperial machine, we don’t.

our national pride month should be july, the month that the Homosexual Law Reform Act passed in 1989. our two largest cities hold their pride festivals in february and march, respectively. american queer history has very little (or nothing, depending on who you ask) to do with our queer history. anecdotally, from my own queries, queer youth in aotearoa know more about american queer history than our own.

anyway, happy pride, americans. i’m truly sorry that most of you don’t see the negative impact your nation’s culture has on the rest of the world. and to the rest of the world reading this, try searching for your own country and culture’s queer history, don’t accept the american narratives as your own. we deserve our own histories divorced from the cultural hegemony of the USA.

[phansterdam]

Asking because I overheard a physical therapist say that she uses this question to see if she wants a second date with a guy, and if he says more than like 4 eggs at once it's a red flag.

[phansterdam]

[phansterdam]

anyway you should always remember that all those foreigners you see dying on the news are just as real people as you are who have just as much interiority as you do. there is nothing about you that makes you more important and it is by pure chance that you are not in their position. in fact, this holds for all of history. every person, no matter the horror of the fate that befell them, had just as much interiority as you do. i feel like some people haven't fully internalized this.

[phansterdam]

life is literally so easy if you get scared you can just pretend to use the bathroom for 30 to 60 years

[phansterdam]

Laptops are always so much more Fucked than phones in my experience. A laptop is like a beautiful horse that wants nothing more than to break all of its legs. A decently solid android phone will act normal