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Ramble of the month June 2025: Miss Marple fan-cast Part 1 of 2

As promised, for my June ramble, I’m shifting away from the fan-cast run on Agatha Christie’s Belgian police officer-turned-private detective Hercule Poirot and looking into her other major multi-story sleuth, elderly spinster Miss Jane Marple.  Now while both have been prolific to one degree or another in books and on TV screens, cinema has been very heavily dominated by Poirot while Miss Marple has been mostly or totally ignored.  This might seem strange considering the many Marple TV shows produced by ITV down the years, but if we look at the source material, this is perhaps more easily understandable.

According to Wikipedia, Christie wrote a sum total of 66 novels and 14 short story collections, most of which revolved around her two main recurring detective characters, Poirot and Marple.  Of these two detectives, Poirot has had thirty-three novels written around him to Miss Marple’s twelve, and this is not counting any additional volumes of short stories.  As a result, Poirot has always had the lion’s share of source material, padded on occasion by original stories made for TV during the David Suchet TV run.  By comparison and by old TV show standards, Miss Marple shows can very quickly exhaust her source material, so each one has been far more reliant on either altering one-off Christie novels to make Miss Marple the main detective, or they’ve had to create Christie-style stories original to TV.

In addition, while Poirot starts off around what would be considered middle-age for his time period and ages up towards being elderly, Miss Marple starts out elderly, making any film or long-term TV show a bit less practical, as it can be almost impossible to ensure an actress of the right age will survive long enough to reprise the role for long.  By this point in time, we have enough techniques for aging-up younger actresses that something like this could be tried in future, but to be honest, a Miss Marple film run is the sort of thing you might only be able to consider in hindsight, at least if you want to pick an actress of the right kind of age and avoid aging up younger actresses through make-up or mo-cap.

Now as with the Poirot fan-cast, I’m being guided a little by the BBC (British Broadcasting Corporation) radio dramas that were produced for Miss Marple, though as there were only 12 Miss Marple novels to do and all 12 became radio dramas, I’m not having to skip over any stories like I did with the Poirot film run.  As such, this fan-cast will get to cover the whole Miss Marple novel run, which then brings us to the question of who would play the main role and who are the recurring characters for this run?

While some may believe Miss Marple doesn’t have many if any recurring characters in her stories, this is not so.  Her nephew, novelist Raymond West, makes frequent if often short appearances in many narratives, particularly when it comes to treating his aunt to holidays she might not otherwise manage to afford.  A number of police officers recur in some stories, including local officers like Colonel Melchett and Inspector Slack, and Scotland Yard figures like Inspector Craddock and Chief Commissioner Sir Henry Clithering.  There are also various figures in Miss Marple’s village that appear more than once, including maid servant Cherry, the Reverand Leonard Clement, local physician Dr Haydock and Miss Marple’s good friend Dolly Bantry.  In addition, the story of A Caribbean Mystery has a direct sequel in Nemesis, linked by elderly businessman Jason Rafiel, which gives us a few reprised roles in Nemesis.

In terms of international appeal, Miss Marple being an English spinster means she travels far less than Poirot might have done, so a lot of her stories remain quite Anglo-centric in terms of the other characters that appear.  However, this doesn’t entirely exclude people from outside of England being in these stories, and Miss Marple does actually go abroad on at least one occasion.  As such, we do get some American acting talent as well as people from other backgrounds in terms of casting and characters.  So, without further ado, let’s start diving into the first half of this fan-cast run to see who is playing what roles in which stories.  As with the Poirot fan-cast, I’ve not assigned any directors like I did with my Marvel and DC fan-casts, and the year figures next to each film title are year of release followed by the year in which the story is set.

Murder at the Vicarage (2001/1935)

Miss Marple = Judi Dench

Rev. Leonard Clement = Liam Neeson

Colonel Melchett = Jeremy Irons

Inspector Slack = Philip Glenister

Colonel Protheroe = Malcolm McDowell

Anne Protheroe = Samantha Bond

Lettuce Protheroe = Sophia Myles

Laurence Redding = Jamie Bamber

Griselda Clement = Anna Friel

Dennis Clement = James McAvoy

Mary Adams = Natalie Cassidy

Mrs Price-Ridley = Susannah York

Esther Lestrange = Helen Mirren

Doctor Haydock = Roger Allam

Mr Hawes = Paul Bettany

Miss Hartnell = Geraldine McEwan

Miss Wetherby = Julie Andrews

Raymond West = Ioan Gruffudd

Bill Archer = Clive Standen

Dr Stone = Peter Davison

Gladys Cram = Charlie Brooks

Mrs Sadler = Moira Brooker

The first of two Miss Marple stories set in inter-war England, Murder at the Vicarage is narratively centred on local reverend Leonard Clement, who has to deal with the abrasive and widely disliked Colonel Protheroe, the local magistrate and churchwarden.  The reverend and the colonel are due to meet one evening about a potential discrepancy in the church’s accounts, but the reverend is called away at the last minute.  When he returns, he find the colonel in the vicarage study, shot through the back of the head.  With no shortage of motive in the village and two initial confessions that don’t seem plausible, the reverent and local police are baffled, and as events unfold, Miss Marple rises to the challenge of this curious case.

As you can see, I’ve opted to put Judi Dench in the role of Miss Marple, as I know she would not only do justice to the role, but she has also had the great fortune not to pass within the timespan that these films would cover if they’d ever been made.  Beyond this, at least several roles are recurring.  For these, we have Liam Neeson as the reverend, Jeremy Irons as Colonel Melchett (the local chief constable), Philip Glenister as Inspector Slack, Roger Allam as Doctor Haydock, Anna Friel as the reverend’s young wife Griselda, and finally Ioan Gruffudd as Miss Marple’s nephew Raymond West.  The remainder of the cast are one-offs for this film alone.  Without exception, I’ve stuck to British actors in keeping with the characters all being English for this story.

The Body in the Library (2003/1938)

Miss Marple = Judi Dench

Colonel Melchett = Jeremy Irons

Inspector Slack = Philip Glenister

Mrs Dolly Bantry = Maggie Smith

Colonel Arthur Bantry = Richard Wilson

Doctor Haydock = Roger Allam

Conway Jefferson = Richard Briers

Mark Gaskell = Clive Owen

Adelaide Jefferson = Kate Beckinsale

Edwards = Nigel Havers

Ruby Keene = Natalie Portman

Josie Turner = Samantha Janus

Raymond Starr = Dominic West

Sir Henry Clithering = Michael Gambon

Superintendent Harper = Dennis Waterman

Basil Blake = Michael Sheen

Dinah Lee = Samantha Morton

George Barlett = Simon Pegg

Pamela Reeves = Keira Knightley

Florence Small = Mary Nighy

Hugo McLean = Joseph Fiennes

Peter Jefferson = George Mackay

When the body of a young girl is found in the library at Gossington Hall, home of Colonel Arthur Bantry and his wife Dolly, they both make quick phone calls; the colonel calls the police and Dolly summons Miss Marple.  It is quickly apparent to Miss Marple that several features of the body’s appearance are incongruous, and as the investigation progresses, the body turns out not to be alone in meeting an untimely end.  In this film, we get a few of the recurring characters back and add a couple more in the forms of Dolly Bantry, played by Maggie Smith, and Sir Henry Clithering, played by Michael Gambon.  Again, the remaining cast are one-offs and the remaining characters are all English.  However, this time I’ve also gone a little international on cast and included Israeli-born Natalie Portman.  Why include her?  Well, two reasons; one, she can do an English accent as evidenced in her role as Evey in V for Vendetta, and two, this cast also includes Keira Knightley.  If you know the full plot of this Miss Marple story and have ever seen the Star Wars film The Phantom Menace, then you’ll understand why I’d want Portman and Knightley together in this film.

The Moving Finger (2005/1946)

Miss Marple = Judi Dench

Jerry Burton = Ewan McGregor

Joanna Burton = Danielle Brent

Partridge = Caroline Munro

Superintendent Nash = Jim Broadbent

Mr Richard Symmington = Michael Kitchen

Mrs Mona Symmington = Olivia Hussey

Miss Megan Hunter = Anna Walton

Elsie Holland = Joanna Taylor

Dr Owen Griffith = Sean Pertwee

Aimée Griffith = Miranda Richardson

Agnes Woddell = Sophie Winkleman

Rose = Hattie Morahan

Miss Ginch = Nicola Walker

Rev. Caleb Calthrop = Peter O’Toole

Mrs Maud Dane Calthrop = Sylvia Syms

Miss Emily Barton = Gemma Jones

Beatrice Baker = Emily Blunt

Mrs Baker = Julie Peasgood

Bryan Symmington = Rupert Grint

Colin Symmington = Thomas Sangster

When injured pilot Jerry Burton and his sister Joanna moved to the country town of Lymstock, they were hoping for peace and quiet while Jerry finished his recovery from his injuries.  Instead, they find themselves and the rest of the town on the receiving end of a rash of “poison pen” letters, making all manner of vile accusations against the recipients.  While many are just annoyed by the nuisance of the letters, the wife of the local solicitor seemingly commits suicide, and it isn’t long before the wife of the local minister is calling her friend Jane Marple to come and investigate.  Various aspects of the case don’t quite ring true, and when a maid at the Symmington household is found murdered, it seems the first death may not have been suicide after all.

This film gives us a couple of firsts in the run in that it’s the first film where Miss Marple is the only recurring character to come in from past films, and it’s the first film set after the Second World War.  Originally, the book for this story and for the previous film were published in 1942, partway through World War II.  However, based on the stories, it makes a bit more sense for any film series to move Body in the Library to just before that conflict and The Moving Finger to afterwards, especially given Jerry Burton being a pilot and the aerial combat performed by the RAF being a key element in Britain’s experience of that war.

Casting-wise, we’re back to all British actors for all British roles, though we are also increasing our use of child actors of the time, hence the presence of actors like Rupert Grint and Thomas Sangster that were basically child actors at this time.  However, our next film will start to see a bit more internationality worked in.

A Murder is Announced (2007/1950)

Miss Marple = Judi Dench

Inspector Dermot Craddock = Kris Marshall

Sir Henry Clithering = Michael Gambon

Letitia Blacklock = Jennifer Saunders

Charlotte Blacklock = Jennifer Saunders

Dora Bunner = Dawn French

Patrick Simmons = Orlando Bloom

Julia Simmons = Summer Stralen

Philippa Haymes = Scarlett Stralen

Mitzi = Izabella Scorupco

Colonel Archie Easterbrook = Tom Wilkinson

Mrs Laura Easterbrook = Joanna Lumley

Mrs Swettenham = Pauline Collins

Edmund Swettenham = Andrew Lincoln

Miss Hinchcliffe = Tilda Swinton

Miss Amy Murgatroyd = Kate Winslet

Mrs Belle Goedler = Diana Rigg

Rev. Julian Harmon = Hugh Grant

Diana “Bunch” Harmon = Catherine Zeta-Jones

Rudi Scherz = Philippe Reinhardt

Myrna Harris = Michelle Ryan

Capt. Ronald Haymes = Tom Hardy

DS Fletcher = Jack Davenport

Constable Legg = Andrew Garfield

Chief Constable George Rydesdale = David Schofield

"A murder is announced and will take place on Friday, 29 October, at Little Paddocks, at 6.30 pm. Friends accept this, the only intimation."  When this curious announcement appears in the local paper for Chipping Cleghorn, everyone in the village is mystified, including the inhabitants of Little Paddocks.  Regardless of this, and the ensuing fears of Letitia Blacklock’s companion Dora Bunner and refugee housekeeper Mitzi, the household prepares for guests.  At the appointed time, the house experiences a black-out, during which a masked man enters with a torch.  As he does so, two shots ring out, and when the lights come back on, the masked man is dead.  Luckily, Miss Marple is close at hand, but the murderer is not willing to stop at just one murder.

On this film, Sir Henry Clithering returns (played by Michael Gabbon) and we see the first appearance of Dermot Craddock, a Scotland Yard inspector who is indebted to Miss Marple for past assistance in other cases.  In this case, I’ve cast Kris Marshall based on his work as Humphrey Goodman in the crime drama series Death in Paradise.  This film also features a couple of characters from continental Europe, enabling us to expand our casting scope.  Of these, the most notable is former Bond girl Izabella Scorupco, notable for appearing in Goldeneye as Natalya Simonova, taking on the role of Mitzi.  In addition, I’ve also headlined the one-off area of the cast with Jennifer Saunders pulling double duty as the Blacklock sister while also incorporating her frequent partners Dawn French and Joanna Lumley into the film.  The remainder of the cast remains all-British, but with a number of names that have had or would go on to have a lot of wider recognition.  For those of you still chomping at the bit for more US-centric casting, however, let’s move quickly onto the next film in the run.

They Do It with Mirrors (2009/1952)

Miss Marple = Judi Dench

Ruth Van Rydock = Tina Louise

Carrie-Louise Serrocold = Francine York

Lewis Serrocold = James Fox

Gina Hudd = Felicity Jones

Walter “Wally” Hudd = Chaning Tatum

Mildred Street = Emma Thompson

Juliet Bellever = Alex Kingston

Steven Restarick = Matt Ryan

Alexis Restarick = Tom Ellis

Christian Gulbrandsen = Jan Malmsjö

Edgar Lawson = Daniel Radcliffe

Dr Maverick = Tim Roth

Ernie Gregg = Tom Felton

Inspector Curry = Paddy Considine

DS Lake = Dominic Cooper

When Miss Marple is visited by her old school friend, American woman Ruth Van Rydock, she learns that Ruth is worried for her sister and Jane’s other school friend Carrie-Louise.  Widowed by her first husband and divorced from her second, Carrie-Louise is now married to Lewis Serrocold, a wealthy man who has turned the couple’s house into a college to help young offenders reform, much to the consternation of several family members staying there.  Concerned for Carrie-Louise, Ruth convinces Miss Marple to investigate under the guise of a visit to catch up with Carrie-Louise.  While things do seem odd, it takes a few days for matters to prove Ruth right; one evening, after an apparent attempted murder on Mr Serricold by one of the young offenders, Carrie’s step-son (who is actually older than Carrie by two years) is found in his room, shot dead.  As evidence comes to light suggesting someone may also be poisoning Carrie-Louise, the case becomes very confusing, but how much evidence is real and how much is misdirection?

Due to this film including a mixed family with English, American and Swedish members, we get to go a lot more international on casting than we’ve been able to do so before.  Tempted as I was to consider the Skarsgård acting dynasty on the last of these, I opted to go in another direction to confound expectations a bit.  By comparison, the American cast contingent is about casting a couple of actresses of comparable age to Dench to nail the school friend aspect of the story and then working in Chaning Tatum as the American ex-soldier husband of Gina.  Now considering America was in the midst of the Korean war at the time this story was published and is set, and the Wally Hudd character is described as “a marine with a very impressive war record”, it seems strange Wally would be able to stay in England with his wife instead of being called back into service.

Given this, this film version would have to expand the Wally Hudd character to either be injured from his World War 2 service, the subject of a dishonourable discharge or some combination of the two.  This would explain how he was able to evade the draft, and at the same time could add to his apparent motive(s).  Otherwise, we’re sticking with British actors, and for Harry Potter fans, yes I have included Mr Radcliffe and Mr Felton in this production as two key young offenders at the college.

A Pocket Full of Rye (2011/1954)

Miss Marple = Judi Dench

Gladys Martin = Georgie Henley

Inspector Neele = Matthew Macfadyen

Sergeant Hay = Charlie Cox

Rex Fortescue = Jonathan Pryce

Percival Fortescue = Toby Stephens

Jennifer Fortescue = Helen Baxendale

Lancelot Fortescue = Jude Law

Pat Fortescue = Hayley Atwell

Elaine Fortescue = Jenna Coleman

Mrs Adele Fortescue = Emilia Fox

Miss Irene Grosvenor = Billie Piper

Professor Bernsdorff = Stephen Fry

Gerald Wright = Stephen Merchant

Vivien Edward Dubois = Sacha Baron Cohen

Miss Ramsbottom = Stephanie Cole

Mary Dove = Helena Bonham-Carter

Mrs Crump = Julie Walters

Mr Crump = Robert Llewelyn

Ellen Curtis = Emily Atack

Mrs McKenzie = Hayley Mills

Kitty = Bonnie Wright

In the final film of this half of the fan-cast, financier Rex Fortescue dies at his offices in London, but it turns out the poison which killed him was likely administered at breakfast, suggesting one of his family is responsible.  The only family members not necessarily suspected are estranged younger son Lancelot “Lance” Fortescue and his wife Pat, who are in the midst of returning from living in Africa at the time of the murder.  The day that Lance returns to the family home, however, his step-mother and the house maid are also both killed.  The house-maid, Gladys, learned domestic service from Miss Marple, and when the story hits the newspapers, it isn’t long before the spinster sleuth enters, allying with Inspecter Neale of Scotland Yard track down the guilty party.  For this film, we’re back to an all-British case in characters and cast alike, and much like the last film, we’re going light on recurring characters.  However, we are continuing to work in major names from various franchise films so that even non-UK audiences would be drawn in.

This concludes the first half of the Miss Marple fan-cast.  The other half, which I plan to cover in August as long as I can think of something a bit different from fan-casts to cover in my July ramble, will consist of 4.50 from Paddington, The Mirror Crack’d from Side to Side, A Caribbean Mystery, At Bertram’s Hotel, Nemesis and Sleeping Murder.  So, until next time, ta-ta for now.

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Ramble of the month May 2025: Poirot fan-cast Part 4 of 4

Having spent last month dealing with a lot of stress and anxiety over all things autistic (and to be fair, I’m still dealing with it), it’s time to get back to something more universal as we return to my Hercule Poirot film fan-cast for its final instalment.  I had originally planned to start my Miss Marple fan-cast this month, but have opted to complete the Poirot one first.  As with parts 2 and 3, here’s a quick bullet-point summary of the points raised back in part 1, either as reminders to those following this run of rambles or as a catch-up for first-time readers;

Agatha Christie wrote 66 novels and 14 short story collections, most of which centred on either former Belgian policeman-turned-private detective Hercule Poirot or elderly English spinster sleuth Jane Marple.

Within in this run of literature, Poirot had 33 novels to Miss Marple’s 14, most of which remain un-adapted to film while British TV and radio have done better.

The Poirot fan-cast is based on the run of BBC radio dramatizations featuring John Moffat as the voice of Poirot; discounting those radio drama using other voice actors and those too short to make a decent film, this creates a 24-film run.

By starting with a first film release in 1980 and making a film every other year, this hypothetical film series would take until 2026 to complete and could include a single actor to play Poirot throughout, while also including other actors in key recurring roles.

Our initial key long-term actors were Brian Cox as Poirot, Anthony Head as Hastings and John Hurt as Inspector Japp.  However, Hastings was last seen in Dumb Witness and Japp’s last appearance was One, Two, Buckle My Shoe.  In this last round, we get two characters from previous films back to take up or continue recurring role positions while also getting a fresh recurring role as well.

So far, the run of films has been as follows;

1980: The Mysterious Affair at Styles

1982: The Murder on the Links

1984: The Murder of Roger Ackroyd

1986: Peril at End House

1988: Lord Edgeware Dies

1990: Murder on the Orient Express

1992: Three Act Tragedy

1994: Death in the Clouds

1996: The ABC Murders

1998: Murder in Mesopotamia

2000: Cards on the Table

2002: Dumb Witness

2004: Death on the Nile

2006: Appointment with Death

2008: Sad Cypress

2010: One, Two, Buckle My Shoe

2012: Evil Under The Sun

2014: Five Litter Pigs

Now before we get into the films of this fourth and final round, a couple of quick reminders.  Firstly, I’m not specifying directors like I did in my alternate MCU and DCEU fan-casts, and the films have two dates; the first for production and the second for setting.  Second, we’re now getting into post-World War 2 era Poirot on this round, with Five Little Pigs being our last inter-war era film in terms of setting.  So, now to look at the last six films of this fan-cast…

Taken At The Flood (2016/1946)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Superintendent Spence = Colin Firth

Rosaleen Cloade = Dominique McElligott

David Hunter = Jonas Armstrong

Lynn Marchmont = Natalie Dormer

Adela Marchmont = Julie Walters

Rowley Cloade = Charlie Cox

Jeremy Cloade = Simon Templeman

Francis Cloade = Polly Walker

Dr Lionel Cloade = Marc Sinden

Katherine Cloade/Aunt Kathy = Imelda Staunton

Gordon Cloade = Mark Williams

Enoch Arden = Arnold Vosloo

Beatrice Lippincott = Bonnie Langford

Major Porter = Sylvester McCoy

Mrs Leadbetter = Stephanie Cole

Edna = Bonnie Wright

Sergeant Graves = Dan Stevens

Coroner = Tim McInnerny

Maid = Anna Popplewell

George = Robert Lindsay

Taken At The Flood begins during the Blitz of World War 2, as Poirot listens to a story told by the resident bore of his club, Major Porter.  It turns out that the wealthy Gordon Cloade has been the latest victim of the bombings, but more than that, he is survived by a young wife many years his junior, and who claimed to be a widow when she met Gordon.  However, the Major knew the woman’s first husband when stationed in Africa and hints his death may have been faked as an alternative to divorce.  The story is overheard by one of Gordon’s brothers, solicitor Jeremy Cloade.  Shortly after the war, the story becomes immensely valuable to the wider Cloade family as they begin to circle his widow Rosaleen.  However, Rosaleen is shielded by her brother David, who begins to present an obstacle to cousins Rowley Cloade and Lynn Marchmont, and when a South African stranger turns up dead at the local inn, Poirot is soon drawn back into the whole affair.

While Brian Cox continues to headline as Poirot and Robert Lindsay returns for a third time as George, Colin Firth steps into the recurring detective role as Superintendent Spence.  The rest of the cast is fresh, and except for working in Irish actors to play Rosaleen and David plus South African actor Arnold Vosloo, the cast remains largely English in line with the characters at hand.  Indeed, the post-war Poirot run tends to avoid going very international, or at least it isn’t including American characters much/at all.

Mrs McGinty’s Dead (2018/1948)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Ariadne Oliver = Zoë Wanamaker

Superintendent Spence = Colin Firth

Mrs McGinty = Sheila Hancock

James Bentley = Kit Harrington

Mauren Summerhayes = Karen Gillan

Major Johnnie Summerhayes = Luke Evans

Laura Upward = Sarah Douglas

Robin Upward = Tom Hiddleston

Guy Carpenter = Benedict Cumberbatch

Eve Carpenter = Alice Eve

Dr Rendell = James McAvoy

Sheelagh Rendell = Laura Aikman

Mr Roger Wetherby = David Suchet

Mrs Edith Weatherby = Sherrie Hewson

Deirdre Henderson = Romola Garai

Bessie Burch = Catherine Tate

Maude Williams = Billie Piper

Mr Scuttle = Steve Coogan

Michael West = Orlando Bloom

George = Robert Lindsay

An old charr woman has been murdered and apparently robbed, and the supposed culprit is sentenced to death, but there’s a problem; Superintendent Spence is not convinced they have the right culprit, and he’s tied up on another case.  As a result, it falls on Poirot to travel to the village of Broadhinney and endure the privations of the local guest house in a race to find the real killer.  Poirot’s preliminary investigation reveals that a local tabloid named The Sunday Comet had run a story not long before Mrs McGinty’s death about women linked to notorious murder cases, and it soon becomes apparent that this was the real murder motive.  Who in Broadhinney has killed to keep their past a secret?  This is what Poirot must learn.

In this film, we get Zoë Wanamaker back as Ariadne Oliver for the first time since Cards on the Table, in what becomes a more recurring role as she appears more often during this period as the would-be “sidekick” to Poirot in place of Hastings, just as Spence recurs in lieu of Japp.  This time, the cast is all-English, but we go all-star for much of it, featuring a great many actors of note both here in the UK and internationally, in large part due to roles in various franchise films and major TV shows.

After The Funeral (2020/1950)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Mr William Entwhistle = Ralph Fiennes

Inspector Morton = Rhys Ifans

Mrs Cora Lansquenet = Finola Hughes

Miss Gilchrist = Josie Lawrence

Timothy Abernethie = Ralph Brown

Maude Abernethie = Debbie Arnold

Susan Banks = Emily Blunt

Gregory Banks = Guy Burnet

George Crossfield = Matthew Baynton

Rosamund Shane = Felicity Jones

Michael Shane = Matt Smith

Helen Abernethie = Helen Pearson

Richard Abernethie = Ciarán Hinds

George = Robert Lindsay

“Oh, but he was murdered, wasn’t he?”  The day after these words are uttered by Cora Lansquenet after the funeral of her brother, wealthy businessman Richard Abernethie, Cora herself is brutally murdered.  Fearing that the words Cora uttered signed her death warrant, family solicitor William Entwhistle appeals to Hercule Poirot to investigate the matter.  This is the one film in the final six not to feather Ariadne Oliver or Superintendent Spence, so recurring roles are down this time.  In turn, the more notable acting names are sprinkled throughout the cast rather than being a major component as in the cast of the previous film.

Dead Man’s Folly (2022/1951)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Ariadne Oliver = Zoë Wanamaker

Inspector Bland = Leon Ockenden

Sergeant Frank Cottrell = Calvin Dean

Sir George Stubbs = Jack Davenport

Hattie Stubbs = Jasmine Trinca

Etienne de Sousa = Adam Rodriguez

Amanda Brewis = Kate Winslet

Amy Folliat = Rita Tushingham

Michael Weyman = Henry Cavill

Alec Legge = Tom Mison

Sally Legge = Hannah New

Marlene Tucker = Amelia Green

Marilyn Tucker = Ella Bright

Mrs Tucker = Maxine Peake

Merdell = Ron Cook

Italian back-packer = Matilda de Angelis

Dutch back-packer = Doutzen Kroes

“Turtle-shirt man” = Alec Utgoff

Dead Man’s Folly sees Poirot hasten down to Devon at the request of Ariadne Oliver.  She is staying at Nass House, the home of the wealthy industrialist Sir George Stubbs, having been invited to organise a “murder hunt” for a garden fete.  However, Mrs Oliver is uneasy and fears that someone may attempt to turn her murder game into a real murder.  When the fete arrives, her fears prove true, and the young girl playing the murder victim becomes murdered for real.  As Poirot aids local police in the investigation, it also appears that Lady Stubbs has vanished, and the parallels between the murder game and real events add to the confusion.  Poirot must carefully employ his little grey cells to learn the truth of the matter.

When it comes to murder mysteries, this story and its sequel aren’t the most likely to be adapted unless working in series, largely because people get squeamish about this kind of story being done with children being the murder victims.  However, I think that if a film can treat something like this with sensitivity, can show the characters feel as we do and will seek justice as we would, then it can be done and make a film great despite this aspect of the subject matter.  Casting-wise, I’ve tried as much as possible to find actors who hail from Devon for characters native to the area, and we have a few international roles again.  The most notable actor for these is probably Adam Rodriguez, better known as CSI Miami’s Eric Delko, while the English acting contingent includes such notable actors as Jack Davenport, Kate Winslet and Henry Cavill.

Hallowe’en Party (2024/1952)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Ariadne Oliver = Zoë Wanamaker

Superintendent Spence = Colin Firth

Elspeth McKay = Kate Firth

Rowena Drake = Ruth Wilson

Elizabeth Whittaker = Emma Rigby

Judith Butler = Jaime Winstone

Mrs Goodbody = Diana Quick

Joyce Reynolds = Indica Watson

Leopold Reynolds = Woody Norman

Ann Reynolds = Isabella Sermon

Desmond Holand = Milo Parker

Nicholas Ransom = Samuel Joslin

Michael Garfield = Matt Ryan

Miranda Butler = Minti Gorne

Mrs Reynolds = Michelle Dockery

Mrs Llewelyn-Smythe = Frances de la Tour

Olga Seminoff = Emily Baldoni

Janet White = Kara Tointon

Nora Ambrose = Sheridan Smith

Lesley Ferrier = Tom Felton

Harry Griffin = James Purefoy

Sandra Griffin = Tamzin Outhwaite

Miss Emlyn = Charlotte Gainsburg

Jeremy Fullerton = Daniel Craig

Harriet Leaman = Louise Lombard

George = Robert Lindsay

When Ariadne Oliver makes a friend during a Greek cruise, it is some month’s later when she finds herself a guest of that friend, Judith Butler, and in attendance at a children’s Hallowe’en Party.  When Mrs Oliver’s novels come up in conversation, a boastful girl named Joyce claims to have once seen a murder, but did not recognise it as such at the time.  By the end of the party, Joyce is found dead, drowned in the apple-bobbing bucket.  Poirot, with the aid of a now-retired Superintendent Spence and his sister who live in the area, begins to investigate, and soon finds that several past cases all connect with each other and the present one.  Can he find all the answers before anyone else is killed?

This story was the partial basis for Kenneth Branagh’s Poirot film A Haunting in Venice, but I would want to see it brought to the big screen more in keeping with the original story.  I get why it was changed; playing on Poirot’s tendency to travel abroad and trying to skirt the squeamishness around dealing with children being murdered in fiction.  However, as noted with Dead Man’s Folly, I think you can have children be murder victims in fiction and still make a good piece of fiction if those involved treat the subject with the sensitivity and humanity that is appropriate.  This is partly why the film is relatively low on major actors with wide international appeal, to avoid any sense of sensationalising the subject matter at hand.  That and after 22 previous films, you wouldn’t need to do much to advertise at this stage.

Elephants Can Remember (2026/1953)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Ariadne Oliver = Zoë Wanamaker

Superintendent Garroway = Mark Strong

Superintendent Spence = Colin Firth

Mr Goby = Jonny Lee Miller

Celia Ravenscroft = Daisy Ridley

Desmond Burton-Cox = Matthew Lewis

Mrs Burton-Cox = Cherie Lunghi

General Alistair Ravenscroft = Tom Ellis

Margaret “Molly” Ravenscroft = Georgia Tennant

Dorothea “Dolly” Jarrow = Georgia Tennant

Mademoiselle “Maddie” Rouselle = Carole Bouquet

Mademoiselle "Zélie" Meauhourat = Jemima West

The Honourable Julia Carstairs = Saskia Reeves

Mrs Matcham = Kristen Scott Thomas

Mrs Buckle = Geraldine James

Mrs Rosentelle = Anne-Marie Duff

George = Robert Lindsay

In the final film of this Poirot run, Ariadne Oliver attends a literary luncheon to be honoured for her work.  However, during the mingling thereafter, she is cornered by a woman whose son is engaged to a god-daughter of Mrs Oliver’s, and the woman poses to Mrs Oliver a strange and audacious question.  Did the girl’s father kill her mother and then take his own life, or was it the other way around?  It turns out Celia, Mrs Oliver’s god-daughter, is the daughter of a married couple who, years ago, were found death together near the sea somewhere in Cornwall.  They had both been shot and both their fingerprints were on the weapon, but there was no conclusive evidence to indicate who was the instigator.  As such, Poirot and Mrs Oliver each seek to gather information about this cold case, searching for anyone linked with the case with a sufficiently elephantine memory to explain the mystery of the Ravenscroft case.

Here again, we’re not going that big on acting name, though we do get a little international variation due to the addition of Swiss governesses linked with the Ravenscroft family in Celia’s youth.  As the radio dramas used to pick the Poirot stories for this film run didn’t get into doing Curtain, this film would probably get a bit more padding to give this version of Poirot his own ending.  As a rule, I don’t like to stray much from source, but based on what I know of the Curtain plotline, I think a bit of artistic license concerning the end of Poirot is not unwelcome.

This concludes my Poirot fan-cast, and my Miss Marple one will begin in June; at present, I plan to do something else for my July ramble and then conclude the Marple fan-cast on my August post.  Anyway, until the next ramble, ta-ta for now.

[phantom-le6]

Ramble of the month April 2025: Busting Autistm myths, remembering Victor Perez and diving into the question of Autisexuality and Autismsexuality

This is my fourth time doing a ramble article for World Autism Month since I started doing monthly ramble articles, and I apologise that I’ve had to wait until the month was almost over before getting it written or posted.  Part of that has been from me stepping up to do overtime at work, which has cut into the free time I normally have to deal with such things.  Part of this has been down an on-going sense of fatigue that keeps pulling me up short when I want to sit down and use any energy for any of my writing.  However, the biggest problem has been in this past week, when I’ve seen some disturbing and frankly shocking news concerning autistic people out of the United States.

On Monday 14th April, I saw a notice on my Facebook newsfeed from the National Autistic Association in the United States, posted that day or not long before which read as follows;

“During the past week, at least five autistic children died after wandering from safe settings.  A teenager with autism died after being shot nine times by police.  A young autistic man was shot in the back by two men who jumped him after he became lost.  An exceptionally vulnerable young man with autism is still missing in Washington state.

Nearly every fatality this past week was entirely preventable.  The majority of deaths occurred from either lack of awareness of autism, dangerous misconceptions, or lack of support and safeguards for them or their families.

This is especially disheartening during World Autism Moth when awareness is at its peak.

When you share resources, meaningful awareness, or information about a missing person with autism, you are collectively adding to a shield that helps protect our mist vulnerable.  This is no small action.  We’re deeply grateful for it.

No matter how saddened we are after weeks like this, we remain forever hopeful.  Our loved ones deserve that hope.  They deserve to be respected.  Protected.  Wholeheartedly accepted.

Accepting them means we must never accept the things that keep killing them.”

Seeing this, the sense of fear I’ve long held about how autism and neurodiversity are treated in society has escalated.  This is not the first time I’ve seen news of this nature, but it is the first time I’ve seen multiple incidents mentioned in a single post, and the following day, I came across more posts that fleshed out one case in particular, that of the teenager shot by police in Idaho.  This teenager was one Victor Perez, a young man of only 17 years of age.  Victor was non-verbal, so he lacked any means of easily communicating with others, and also had cerebral palsy, meaning he would also be impaired physically.  Now apparently, he was on the other side of a fence to police officers at the time they shot him, and while he apparently had a knife, the odds that anyone so impaired could do anyone, especially gun-toting cowboy “cops”, any damage with it from the other side of a fence are low.

So, instead of being talked down by the officers, instead of anyone grasping that this child was so disabled, instead of realising this was a scared young man who couldn’t say “I don’t understand”, “I’m scared” or even “please don’t shoot”, this young man is now dead.  Dead because of neurotypical ignorance, neurotypical arrogance and the moronic, inhumane, dick-shit behaviour of a bunch of morons who think being a police officer means getting to blast away anyone who is different.  Now as you can probably tell from my phrasing here, I’m pissed off by this.  A lot of that anger comes from fear, fear that this sort of incident will keep happening, that they will increase, that it either will happen or is already happening outside of the US, and certainly I can see evidence to validate that concern.

First of all, during the past week, a US government official by the name of RFK Jr. has been spreading some truly moronic myths and misinformation around autism.  Secondly, in recent weeks and months the UK government has been claiming people are being over-diagnosed with autism and are trying to make getting diagnoses harder, when in reality getting diagnoses is already difficult, and while anyone seeking false diagnoses should be stopped, it should be done in a way that doesn’t adversely impact genuine autistics.  Third, when I flagged the initial NAA post with a colleague at work who is leading on various diversity and inclusion efforts, their response didn’t really make it seem like they took this matter seriously.

Why do I think this?  Well, because all the diversity and inclusion efforts in my department at work stemmed from an incident most of us will, by now, be familiar with, namely the police murder of George Floyd.  Now this was a murder very similar to what has now happened to Victor Perez; both were people of colour, both were killed by police in the United States, and both incidents were apparently caught on camera.  The only differences are that Floyd was suffocated while Perez was shot, Floyd was Black while Perez was Latino, and Floyd was neurotypical while Perez was neurodiverse.  Now the death of George Floyd sparked mass protest around the world, even in spite of Covid restrictions, and kicked off an on-going pro-diversity effort in my workplace.  So far, Victor Perez has been given no such attention, not by the news, not by pro-diversity groups, not by my workplace, and I have to ask why.

There are many potential answers to this.  The lack of reporting on it here in the UK, for example, may be because other issues are taking greater precedence, such as the recent anti-trans decision by our supreme court (and honestly, as an LGBTQ+ ally, I will concede that one should have significant attention and protest as well).  However, I suspect that much of the difference lies in the fact that neurotypical society is both being badly misinformed about autism and, due to autism being billed as a disability, they care far less about protecting us than other groups.  To them, a disability is probably worthy of keeping in the human gene pool than a variety of skin colours, partner preferences or gender preferences.

Now as I say, that’s just a suspicion, fuelled by my fear of more such incidents happening and my anger that my group within society is not getting the same level of outcry as we see for other groups being oppressed.  I might be wrong in that suspicion, and in a few cases I know I will be wrong, but somehow, I doubt I will be wrong about most people.  To my mind, the only way I can be totally wrong is if the societal response to Victor Perez’s death is on a slow burn, and some Autistic Lives Matter movement does start to take hold in the coming weeks and months.  For now, though, we are far from powerless in the autistic community.  We can begin to fight back, and we can begin increasing our efforts to increase autism awareness and better educate people on what autism is.

To that end, let’s get on with some myth-busting around autism.  Firstly, autism is not a disease; that’s the first thing RFK Jr. or Real Fucking Knucklehead as I would call him, got wrong in his recent remarks.  Autism, like any form of neurodiversity, is a development of the brain that impairs some functions while potentially enhancing others.  Now I say potentially because autism is a spectrum form of neurodiversity with a wide variety of ways for its traits to manifest, many of which can be magnified, muted or just plain complicated by one or more co-morbid (co-existing) conditions.  This means not everyone who is autistic gets to be some high-masking savant whose social skills are compensated for by a respected skill or genius-level intellect.  Some will be so low-masking that they can’t engage with the wider world much or at all, and in between will lie a wide range of other possible autism manifestations.

Secondly, Autism is not caused by vaccines; this was originally only claimed of a single vaccine, the MMR (measles, mumps and rubella) vaccine, and the one study making this claim has long since been proven to be untrue and without any real scientific merit.  Even the scientist who did that study has admitted he essentially faked his results to support a pre-determined conclusion, yet sadly the anti-vaxxer community still uses this myth to try and stop people getting vaccines, risking public health and demonising autistics like myself into the bargain.  This means anti-vaxxers are both a health risk and guilty of anti-autistic hate speech, yet to date I’ve yet to see anyone arrest and try them for the hate-crime-committing monsters they are.

Third, the Autistic spectrum does not run from severe to mild, it does not include the neurotypical and it is not there for non-autistics to stake a claim to.  The ability or inability to mask in Autistic people creates an illusion of severity, leading to labels like “profound autism” or “high/low-functioning”.  However, as I learned from one of my fellow speakers when I did talks about autism, so-called “high-functioning” autistics have needs that are every bit as profound as “low-functioning” or “profound” autistic people.  How can this be if the spectrum was one of severity?

Simple, it isn’t; those we assume are “high-functioning” or “mildly” autistic are just masking well enough to hide the extent of their autism, while those we consider “low-functioning” either have very little or no ability to mask.  As such, it is for each autistic person on the spectrum to decide if their autism is a disability or not, but it is not for anyone but them to determine, and if they decide to consider it their identity, again, that is their choice; it is not a decision any neurotypical can make, and no neurotypical should ever even consider trying to co-opt that identity for themselves.  If you’re autistic, you’re autistic, and if you’re not, you’re not; it’s that black-and-white.

Now let’s debunk some of RFK’s other idiotic assertions.  In his comments, he claimed that autistic people would never pay taxes, have jobs, play baseball, write poems, go on dates or be able to use a toilet unassisted.  Going slightly out of order, let’s show just how untrue this is.

Taxes – first of all, there are a few different kinds of tax.  There’s VAT in most countries for anything you buy, so any autistic person who can handle online ordering or walk into a shop to buy things will pay taxes that way.  There’s income tax, and as a gainfully employed autistic person, I’ve certainly been paying that for years.  Then there’s council tax and filing overall tax returns; not there myself only because I’m not yet earning enough to live by myself, but I know other autistics who have managed this, so whatever kind of tax you want to look at, there will be some autistic people paying them.

Jobs – I’ve been gainfully employed on a full-time basis for at least 20 years right now.  I’ve had colleagues who are autistic and also still gainfully employed, and through my work in local government, I know many young people with autism are getting into work from various levels of education.  Also, I had help getting into work from a local charity that supports autistic people to get jobs, and that charity is still active today, so clearly, they are still succeeding in that goal.  Yet again, the assertion that autistic people cannot hold jobs is false.  It’s even more false if you’re aware that people like Bill Gates and Dan Akroyd are autistic; not only can we get jobs, but one of us invented Microsoft and another member of our community is a long-standing actor of great note.

Baseball – here in the UK, this is known as Rounders, and outside of school it’s not anything anyone here plays, so let’s re-frame this; can autistic people play sports?  Answer, yes under the right circumstances.  Our social skill difficulties that form the core of autism mean we’re not going to be brilliant with team sports professionally, but with a suitably supportive peer group and barring any impairment from our sensory difficulties or co-morbid conditions, we can probably play the odd casual game of football, rugby, etc.  Solo sport is more likely, but even then, only the highest-masking autistics with the right manifestation of traits and few co-morbidities could likely play anything in a professional sense.  So, the blanket statement of “never” doesn’t apply, but case-by-case it will vary.

Writing Poetry – for all that I am an aspiring author, poetry is something I avoid, though not out of any inability to write it, and I’m sure there will be some autistics for whom poetry is a beloved past-time, possibly even a special interest.  In most cases, however, I consider poetry as being wasted song lyrics no one ever put a melody to, but that’s just me.  At present, one fiction project I’m developing involves magic spells being written in metered rhymes, so that’s about as close as I come to poetry by choice, but if I wanted write poetry, I could.  So, again, another myth busted.

Self-use of the toilet – except for low-masking autistics with extreme co-morbidities, very few autistics will lack the ability to use a toilet by themselves.  Overall, autistics can struggle with self-care and hygiene, often because we prioritise other things over personal grooming and cleanliness, but most of us can and do learn to use toilets by ourselves.

Dates – as with sports, dating is not a never for the entire autistic community.  Some of us can manage this, some of us can’t, and it’s down to a lot more than just our individual manifestations of autism and any relevant co-morbidities.  Romantic and/or sexual interaction requires the advanced social skills going, so as a rule, it’s likely to require a lot of social skills education and experience combined with a high level of masking for any autistic person to even attempt a date, much less develop a romantic relationship with someone for any length of time.

Personally, I have had romantic relationships, and while they did not last, I did learn from them and could try for such relationships again if and when I choose.  Others I know personally who are autistic have succeeded in relationships that have gone as far as marriage, and in at least one case children.  There are also TV shows dedicated to showing autistics and others who have difficulty finding romantic partners doing just that, and while at times I question some of the branding, etc. of these efforts, they too showcase that autistic people are not without a capacity to date.

Now if the evidence in that last part wasn’t enough to convince people that autistic people can engage in romantic and sexual relations, let’s look at the next and final subject for this month’s ramble.  A few years ago, a friend of mine shared a post relating to two new terms that had recently come up regarding autistic adults, namely autisexual and autismsexual.  The first apparently referred to people who are specifically attracted to people on the autistic spectrum, while the latter refers to autistics who embrace their autism by incorporating it into their sexuality on some level.  Now for a while, I’ve avoided delving into this, but as there are also myths about autism being a child-only condition or autistics and the wider differently abled community not being romantic/sexual beings, I think that in the spirit of myth-busting, the time to delve has come.

The idea of being attracted to specific traits about a person is certainly nothing new in this world; there are, for example, certain areas of the body, hair colours and racial characteristics that some people may prefer over others, potentially to the point of that preference becoming a kink or fetish.  Now these are physical examples, but mental examples can also exist; some people can be drawn to high intelligence or to people whose intelligence is devoted more to their sexuality than to other matters.  Given this, it’s understandable that a form of neurodiversity like autism could become a preference, kink or fetish in its own right, but at the same time, it could also be a cause for concern depending on how that interest manifests.  In turn, it is also easy to see how certain autistic traits could be harnessed by autistic people in forming these kinds of relationships, provided they have the right partner, etc.

To better understand both, let’s run down the main autistic traits in turn to see how each feeds into both autisexuality and autismsexuality.

Social Skill challenges:

The difficulties autistic people face here are at the very core of what autism is, so we have to start here.  Now these challenges form what has long been known as the Triad of Impairment, consisting of social communication (our ability to convey to others whatever we want to communicate to them), social interaction (our ability to fully understand what others want to communicate to us) and social imagination (being able to predict how others will perceive our words and actions).  These challenges are also at the route of our heightened need for predictability, and they can often be affected by any co-morbid conditions.  However, since no single co-morbidity is ever universal to all autistics, these conditions are not strictly part of autism itself and play no part in either of the sexuality terms we’re considering.

Starting with the autisexual point of view, I can see that there might be some attraction to the more direct method of communication autistic people tend to favour, especially if someone has had a lot of bad experiences with neurotypical partners who are poor communicators.  To some extent, this can be seen as a positive, but many autistics struggle to understand that in some situations, there is a genuine need to be less direct and employ a certain level of tact, so depending on where an autistic person is with their social skill development, this may be a double-edged sword.

Another possible consideration here is what might be considered the “Spock effect.”  What do I mean by this?  Well, as many Trek scholars with a knowledge of autism will be aware, Vulcan characters like Spock have some traits in common with real-world autistic people.  Many Trek scholars will also be aware that Spock garnered a lot of female fan attention during the days of the original series and films.  This was attributed to the idea that many wanted to break through the character’s front of logical control to the intense emotional core of the character.  Given this, it may be some people are attracted to autistic people on a similar basis, that they are somehow attracted to the idea of breaking through our masking facades to the autistic individual hiding therein.

Now one thing to keep in mind here is this; a lot of autistic people who mask do so until they get home, at which point they will either a meltdown or shutdown that has spent the whole day building up.  This is because at home they know the people around them love and support them enough to take that outpouring of frustration.  As such, I would strongly advise any autisexual people not to just dive in blindly in the naive hope that you will get a romantic outpouring of emotion when our floodgates open.  Trust me, that’s not how it goes for us in most cases, and if you’re not strong enough to take autistic meltdowns on a regular basis, I strongly recommend re-assessing your preferences.  Many autistic people can be great romantic partners under the right circumstances, but any partner who doesn’t fully understand us is never a right circumstance.

The only other possible point of attraction for an autisexual person to an autistic individual in this area would be our lack of social understanding and awareness, and this is just a flat-out negative in my view.  In my experience, the only reason why such a trait could be seen as attractive is if the attracted person wants to exploit that social innocence, in which case you’re looking at a potentially exploitative and toxic relationship that the autistic person would be wise to steer clear of.  I’ve spoken in the past about the concept of Mate Crime, wherein people feign friendship with someone to hurt them, and this aspect of autisexuality would certainly qualify as an extreme form of Mate Crime, both in terms of how evil it is and how much it could harm any unwary autistics.

From the autismsexual point-of-view, things are probably more positive.  As I’ve already noted, autistic people tend to favour direct communication, and as good consent practice in relationships has evolved, this kind of communication can actually be of some benefit.  While social convention does still require some level of tact and discretion when it comes to romantic or sexual relationships, Autistic-style directness does have more in common with the idea that consent is only consent if it is a definite, informed, enthusiastic yes, and anything less should be taken as a no.  I can see many partners appreciating this, so this is at least one example of autism being an asset in a prospective relationship partner.

Sensory issues:

Autistics often have issues processing sensory input; not only can there be delays between receiving the input and processing it, but our senses can either be hyper-sensitive (turned up quite high) or hypo-sensitive (turned down low).  While hyper-sensitive autistics might shy away from what they see as overwhelming sensory input in the affected areas (e.g. preferring to be alone in a quiet room away from high-volume or multiple noise sources), those who are hypo-sensitive might be drawn to intense sensory experiences in order to register anything with that sense (e.g. someone with a hypo-sensitive sense of taste may seek out foods with very strong flavours or an intense level of spiciness).

From an autisexual point-of-view, an autistic partner’s sensory issues might make them pre-disposed to seek out or avoid certain types of sexual activity, and if those activities are relatively mainstream, this boils down to little more than a matter of partner preference.  For that matter, it can also extend beyond the bedroom to other leisure activity if considering a romantic relationship.  If an autisexual person is somewhat agoraphobic and struggles in crowded places, they may welcome a hearing hyper-sensitive autistic who prefers staying in listening to a CD over a hearing hypo-sensitive autistic who is more at home in the midst of loud live music.

However, when combined with our social skill challenges, one can also see the potential for exploitative autisexuality.  Just as our lack of understanding about social rules and norms can potentially manipulated against us, so can our sensory challenges.  An autistic hyper-sensitive could potentially be offered a sensory retreat of sorts to isolate them from support and protection, while an autistic hypo-sensitive could be exposed to activities with a high level of sensory stimulation that could also harm them just to feed their need for stronger sensory stimuli.  As such, this is another area where autistic people need to be on guard around anyone who may identify as an autisexual individual.

Shifting to the autismsexual perspective, how can autistic people themselves incorporate their sensory issues into their romantic/sexual relationships?  Well, for starters, relationships of this kind are as much sensory experiences as social ones, so we’re going to find that our sensory issues will impact on us in this area.  On a romantic level, it’s going to influence our dating options; are we ok going to restaurants, to the cinema, to a bowling alley, to concerts?  If so, what kind of foods will we seek out, what films are we ok dealing with?  If not, what are the alternatives?  From a bedroom point-of-view, this can impact on what we do with our partners and how on the physical side of a relationship.  As such, I would recommend any autistic person exploring their sexuality take some time to explore how their sensory issues influence this aspect of themselves.  Also bear in mind that some autistics may be paradoxical and occasionally seek stimulation for a hyper-sensitive sense or avoid stimulation of a hypo-sensitive sense.  As with so many rules in life, there can be exceptions.

Special interests and routines:

As I’ve noted, autistic people have a heightened need for predictability, and there are two key ways for this need to manifest.  First, there are special interests, which can be literally anything that we find predictable, whether it’s the exploration of some socially acceptable hobby like trains, superhero lore or computer games, or something totally un-hobby-like.  As such, it is important not to confuse a special interest with a hobby as the two are not always equal.  A hobby can picked up or set down as-and-when, whereas a special interest is something we think about a lot and that gives us a lot of joy and emotional stability.  How we can react if blocked from our special interests can also lead people to mistake them for obsessions, but obsessions do not provide pleasure, so this again would be a mistake.

Our second means of gaining predictability is by having routines, whether it’s in relation to when we do certain things, how we do them or both.  Depending on our ability to mask and how well we integrate with the world, we may be able to tolerate some deviations from routine, but often these will need to be made well in advance, and it’s often better if we’re the ones making that change rather than having it inflicted on us.  Many people who know autistics know we don’t like change as a rule and struggle with it a lot, but that aversion to change stems from the need for predictability, so a change we control is more predictable and thus more acceptable than one controlled by others.

Looking at the term autisexual, I can see the right special interest being a potential factor in attraction, though autistics can sometimes be into something as a special attraction for different reasons to a non-autistic person.  For example, an autistic person may be drawn to a sport not because they enjoy playing or watching it, but for statistical analysis and how all the variables play out.  As such, as long as you’re ok with the reasons you’re both into something being different, this is a potential positive.  However, here again there is cause for concern, as our need for special interests is another thing a toxic autisexual person could exploit, either by offering us exposure to that interest in exchange for our co-operation, or by withholding that exposure if we’re uncooperative.

Likewise, routine could be a double-edged sword here.  The positive autisexual whose attraction to autistics is handled well might appreciate the autistic need to adhere to routine, perhaps because they also have a similar appreciation or because they struggle with routine and need an organised person to help them develop their own skills in this area.  The negative autisexual, however, could draw an autistic partner into a routine that is actually negative and harmful, exploiting the autistic need for predictability to make them follow it.

Shifting over to the autismsexual concept, special interests can, as we’ve noted, be a potential source of common interest in a relationship.  However, if you’re looking at autism being worked into sexuality, then it is possible that sex itself or some particular kink or fetish could be a special interest in and of itself.  This can be both positive and negative, depending on what the exact interest is and whether or not you can find a partner that’s open to it.  More mainstream options that you just get into more because it is a special interest will likely not be a problem, but more niche areas of interest might make it difficult to find like-minded partners, especially for any autistics who might struggle convey what’s good about their interest.

Now while routine can be positive in some aspects of life, it’s potentially not the best from a sexuality point-of-view, or at least not in some areas.  Very often partners will want to change things up in the bedroom so that any sexual interaction does not become boring through identical repetition.  However, this isn’t to say that some level of routine, of predictability, can’t also be included.  The key here is work out some kind of balance between the needs of all concerned.  If there is no sexual special interest, then what aspects of any sexual encounter have to be worked into a routine to make it predictable?  If there is a sexual special interest, is that sufficient predictability by itself to eliminate or at least minimise the need for any routine?

In summary of this exploration, it seems we have two potential conclusions on the first term.  Depending on individual intent, autisexuals may be decent people of good intent honestly drawn to certain aspects of autism, or they could be toxic individuals that autistics need to guard against.  As for the second term, autismsexuality is a general positive and a good way for many autistics to embrace their autistic traits, provided they are careful and have appropriate support in exploring this aspect of themselves.  I only hope that all of us who are low-masking enough to develop our sexuality get to do so, and that what has happened to Victor Perez and others will stop happening.

I also hope that more people will stand up to tell the truth about autism, and that less people will sit idly by while we’re subject to the injustice and stupidity of neurotypical ignorance and hatred.  I hope that those who seem to be only fairweather supporters of diversity will stand with us against oppression, as we should stand with other oppressed people in the world.  I also hope people have enjoyed reading this ramble, and I’ll be back next month to finish off my Poirot film series fan-cast.  Until then, ta-ta for now.

[phantom-le6]

Ramble of the month March 2025: Poirot fan-cast Part 3 of 4

First off, apologies to any readers who have been following my episode reviews of Gotham; rest assured these will be back as soon as I can get fresh submissions to literary agencies done for my autism book.  In the meantime, I am still keeping the monthly rambles alive, and this month we’re carrying on with my Poirot film fan-cast.  As with part 2, here’s a quick bullet-point summary of the points raised in my part 1 ramble so any new-comers can get caught up;

Agatha Christie wrote 66 novels and 14 short story collections, most of which centred on either former Belgian policeman-turned-private detective Hercule Poirot or elderly English spinster sleuth Jane Marple.

Within in this run of literature, Poirot had 33 novels to Miss Marple’s 14, most of which remain un-adapted to film while British TV and radio have done better.

The Poirot fan-cast is based on the run of BBC radio dramatizations featuring John Moffat as the voice of Poirot; discounting those radio drama using other voice actors and those too short to make a decent film, this creates a 24-film run.

By starting with a first film release in 1980 and making a film every other year, this hypothetical film series would take until 2026 to complete and could include a single actor to play Poirot throughout, while also including other actors in key recurring roles.

Our initial key long-term actors are Brian Cox as Poirot, Anthony Head as Hastings and John Hurt as Inspector Japp.

So far, the run of films has been as follows;

1980: The Mysterious Affair at Styles

1982: The Murder on the Links

1984: The Murder of Roger Ackroyd

1986: Peril at End House

1988: Lord Edgeware Dies

1990: Murder on the Orient Express

1992: Three Act Tragedy

1994: Death in the Clouds

1996: The ABC Murders

1998: Murder in Mesopotamia

2000: Cards on the Table

2002: Dumb Witness

Now before we get into the films of round three, a couple of quick reminders.  Firstly, I’m not specifying directors like I did in my alternate MCU and DCEU fan-casts, and the films have two dates; the first for production and the second for setting.  Second, as of Dumb Witness, we’ve now concluded appearances in our films by Hastings and are in transition from inter-war Poirot to post-war Poirot, who will have new regular supporting characters.  So, onto films 13 through to 18 in this fan-cast…

Death on the Nile (2004/1934)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Colonel Race = Bernard Hill

Linnet Doyle = Samantha Morton

Simon Doyle = Matthew Macfadyen

Jacqueline de Bellefort = Keeley Hawes

Salome Otterbourne = Joanna David

Rosalie Otterbourne = Emilia Fox

Mrs Allerton = Helen Mirren

Tim Allerton = Joseph Fiennes

Andrew Pennington = David Ogden Stiers

Marie Van Schuyler = Raquel Welch

Cornelia Robson = Katie Holmes

Miss Bowers = Diane Lane

Mr Ferguson = John Simm

Signor Richetti = Sergio Castellitto

Louise Bourget = Audrey Tautou

James Fanthorp = David Tennant

Dr Besner = Sebastian Koch

Joanna Southwood = Samantha Spiro

Jules = Christian Clavier

Sterndale Rockford = Andrew Robinson

Death on the Nile gets us back to Poirot travelling abroad after a two-film break handling cases in England, and as a result the cast gets a little more varied, especially since I’m not cutting or combining characters like most film and TV adaptations.  Plot-wise, this one is a slow burn to the murder, as newlywed couple Linnet and Simon Doyle are stalked on their honeymoon in Egypt by Simon’s jilted ex-fiancé Jacqueline de Bellefort.  However, when Mrs Doyle is shot in her cabin while on a river cruise up the Nile, Jacqueline has a solid alibi.  Two further murders follow as Poirot investigates, aided by his old friend Colonel Race.

Aside from Poirot, Colonel Race is the only returning character, leaving everyone else to be freshly cast.  There is a good mix of well-known names included as we combine a mostly British and American cast with a few actors of other nationalities to best match the characters Christie originally wrote.  A few examples include an aged Raquel Welch opposite Katie Holmes and Diane Lane in the Van Schyler party, Doctor Who actors David Tennant and John Simm (Simm having played Whovian villain The Master opposite Tennant’s Doctor), and David Ogden Stiers of M*A*S*H fame.  Fans of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and of Die Hard will also be pleased to spot Andrew Robinson making an appearance.

Appointment with Death (2006/1935)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Colonel Carbury = Tim Curry

Mrs Boynton = Louise Fletcher

Ginevra Boynton = Kate Hudson

Raymond Boyton = Casey Affleck

Carol Boyton = Sasha Alexandra

Lennox Boyton = Ben Affleck

Nadine Boyton = Leslie Bibb

Jefferson Cope = Hugh Jackman

Dr Gerard = Andy Serkis

Dr Sarah King = Honeysuckle Weeks

Lady Westholme = Harriet Walter

Miss Amabel Pierce = Sophie Thompson

Another film set in Poirot’s travels abroad, this one takes place in the nations we now know as Israel and Jordan, but as the film will be set in the 1930’s like the book it’s based on, these means we’re looking at the region strictly as it was at that time.  Regardless, past geo-politics is mere backdrop to the main plot, which revolves around the various people in Poirot’s hotel when he overhears someone discussing the murder of a woman from his room.  The likeliest target seems to be the overbearing and ruthless matriarch of the Boynton family, and when indeed Mrs Boynton is discovered dead during an expedition to the ancient city of Petra, it falls on Poirot to investigate all concerned.  Unlike the previous film, the cast of characters doesn’t vary much from a smaller, simpler mix of Brits and Americans, so the cast of actors doesn’t vary as much either.  However, this makes it no less excellent a cast, with the likes of Andy Serkis, Hugh Jackman and the Affleck brothers being included, not to mention Tim Curry (notable for films such as Clue, Muppet Treasure Island and The Hunt for Red October, among many others).  Also featured is Louise Fletcher, who is best known for her roles in One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest and Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Sad Cypress (2008/1936)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Elinor Carlisle = Lena Headey

Dr Peter Lord = Paul Bettany

Mary Gerrard = Lucy Davis

Roderick Welman = Jude Law

Mrs Laura Welman = Diana Rigg

Nurse Hopkins = Jenny Agutter

Nurse O’Brien = Brenda Fricker

Mrs Bishop = Brenda Blethyn

Mr Seddon = Patrick Stewart

Bob Gerard = Timothy West

Horlick = William Moseley

Ted Bigland = Andrew Scarborough

Mr Justice Beddingfield = Jim Carter

Sir Edwin Bulmer = Bill Nighy

Sir Samuel Atterbury = Colin Baker

Dr Garcia = Paul McGann

Inspector Brill = Timothy Spall

Alfred Wargrave = Robert Glenister

James Arthur Littledale = Nicholas Lyndhurst

Amelia Mary Sedley = Miranda Harcourt

Sad Cypress is a little unusual among Poirot mysteries, and for two key reasons.  Firstly, Poirot comes in relatively late in the story, and second, he’s commissioned to try and see if any evidence exists that can exonerate the accused.  The story begins with an anonymous letter to the niece and nephew-in-law of Laura Welman, a wealthy heiress bed-ridden after a recent stroke.  When Elinor Carlisle (the niece) and her fiancé Roderick Welman (the nephew-in-law) visit just in case, Roderick falls for Mary Gerard, the daughter of the local lodge-keeper.  This begins a chain of events culminating in Mary being poisoned, Elinor being arrested and local physician Dr Lord, who is attracted to Elinor, imploring Poirot for help.

Now for those who know the novels wondering why the film run skips over Hercule Poirot’s Christmas to get to Sad Cypress, it’s mainly because it’s one of the BBC radio dramas that didn’t use John Moffatt as Poirot, so it’s discounted because we’re basing these films on the novels that were adapted to radio plays using Moffatt.  It also helps reduce the number of stories that need to be covered by films before we hit World War 2 in the timeline.  Casting-wise, we’re going predominantly English here, but plenty of names are on the cast that American/international marques would respect, including Patrick Stewart, Jude Law, Lena Headey and Paul Bettany.

One, Two, Buckle My Shoe (2010/1937)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Inspector Japp = John Hurt

Mr Henry Morley = Ben Miller

Miss Georgina Morley = Poppy Miller

Gladys Nevill = Rosamund Pike

Alistair Blunt = Simon Chandler

Mrs Julia Olivera = Christine Baranski

Miss Jane Olivera = Reese Witherspoon

Howard Raikes = Tobey Maguire

Mr Amberiotis = Stelios Mainas

Mr Reginald Barnes = Michael Palin

Mabelle Sainsbury Seale = Dawn French

Frank Carter = Dominic Cooper

Mr Reilly = Liam Cunningham

Alfred Biggs = Eddie Redmayne

Agnes Fletcher = Charlie Brooks

Helen Montressor = Moira Brooker

Mr Selby = Stephen Moyer

Mrs Merton = Pauline Quirke

George = Robert Lindsay

In this film, we get the final appearance of Inspector Japp and the second of two inter-war appearances for Poirot’s valet George (the first having been in Dumb Witness).  In this film, Poirot is called to aid Japp when Poirot’s dentist, Mr Morley, is found dead.  The initial cause appears to be suicide, but there’s no apparent motive and high-profile financier Alistair Blunt’s presence as a patient complicates matters.  Soon it seems as if the crime may be political, but Poirot is not fully convinced.  Now this film is mostly British actors and set in England, but owing to Blunt having married into an American family, we get a few American characters to add US acting weight to the film’s US and international box office.  Most notable in this small group are probably Tobey Maguire of Spider-Man fame and Reese Witherspoon.  However, fans of The Big Bang Theory, Cruel Intentions and a few other things will doubtless recognise Christine Baranski into the bargain.

Evil Under The Sun (2012/1938)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Colonel Weston = John Challis

Inspector Colgate = Neil Morrissey

Captain Kenneth Marshall = Ray Stevenson

Arlena Marshall/Stewart = Rachel Weisz

Linda Marshall = Georgie Henley

Patrick Redfern = Michael Fassbender

Christine Redfern = Keira Knightley

Rosamund Darnley = Minnie Driver

Emily Brewster = Geraldine Chaplin

Carrie Gardener = Michelle Pfeiffer

Odell Gardener = Kelsey Grammer

Horace Blatt = Dominic Keating

Rev. Stephen Lane = Stephen Merchant

Gladys = Michelle Ryan

Mrs Castle = Tamsin Greig

Sergeant Phillips = Andrew Garfield

Dr Neasden = Mark Rylance

Evil Under The Sun combines the elements of a classic Poirot holiday adventure with an English setting in a way that I hope Branagh’s film run might do at some point, though I doubt he’ll stick to the source material as much as I would.  Regardless, the premise of the story runs thus; while on holiday at the Jolly Roger, a hotel on an island off the coast of Devon, Poirot learns that two of the guests, famous actress Arlena Marshall (stage name Arlena Stewart) and her “admirer” Patrick Redfern, are having an affair.  Worse still, they appear to be doing so under the noses of Arlena’s husband and step-daughter and Patrick’s wife.  Poirot fears disaster, and is proven right when Arlena is found strangled in a deserted cove.

In this film, the cast is predominantly British, though we do get a little American inclusion due to a couple of American hotel guests, played by Kelsey Grammer and Michelle Pfieffer.  Much of the UK cast also has major international recognition here, especially among a multitude of sci-fi and fantasy fandoms, including the Fox X-Verse, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, and by way of Dominic Keating, we also have a main cast member from Star Trek: Enterprise included.

Five Litte Pigs (2014/early 1939/1924)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Carla Lemarchant/Caroline Crale Jr. = Lily James

Amyas Crale = Tim Roth

Caroline Crale Sr. = Catherine Zeta-Jones

Sir Montague Depleach = Alan Rickman

Caleb Jonathan = Patrick Malahide

Phillip Blake = Martin Kemp

Meredith Blake = Gary Kemp

Elsa Greer = Emily Atack

Miss Cecilia Williams = Olivia Coleman

Angela Blake = Hayley Atwell

Young Angela = Charlotte Spencer

For the last film in this round, we’re not only looking at the last of our films set prior to World War 2, but we’re also dealing with something of a rarity for Poirot, namely the investigation of a cold case.  In Five Little Pigs, Poirot is approached by Carla Lemarchant, whose mother was tried and convicted of murdering her father, a famous painter who was having an affair with a younger woman he was painting a portrait of.  Carla has just been given a letter her mother wrote to her from prison shortly before her death claiming her innocence; the only claim of its kind, since by all records, Caroline Crale never made any other claims of innocence and appeared guilty.  Poirot gathers the accounts of five people who were present for the murder; two brothers, the father’s model, the governess and her pupil, Caroline’s then-teenage half-sister, and from these the truth begins to emerge.

Due to the cold case aspect, the film alternates between Poirot’s present-day investigation and the events at the time of the murder, with many characters from both eras being cast young and then aged up via make-up and/or special effects.  The sole exception to this is the character of Angela Blake, where the age dynamics involved require two actresses.  The cast is all-British this time round, and much like the cast I’ve put together for Evil Under The Sun, much of the cast has international recognition.  Obvious stand-outs in that respect include Alan Rickman, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Tim Roth, Hayley Atwell and Olivia Coleman. So, that’s most of the films in this Poirot fan-cast covered, with only six films set in/after World War 2 left to go, specifically Taken At The Flood, Mrs McGinty’s Dead, After The Funeral, Dead Man’s Folly, Hallowe’en Party and Elephants Can Remember.  However, these will be a little way off yet as next month will be Autism Awareness, and in May I plan to do the first half of my Miss Marple fan-cast.  Anyway, next time, ta-ta for now.

[phantom-le6]

Ramble of the month February 2025: 90’s MCU phase 9 – The Final Phase

Yes, ladies, gentleman and all other genders of the gender spectrum, we’re now at the conclusion of our 90’s-based MCU.  For those only just joining us, here’s a quick bit of house-keeping on this subject.  The reason I’ve done my own version of 90’s-based fan-cast, and done so in the way I have, is very simple.  Most memes positing a 90’s or 80’s MCU just take the key roles from the MCU we’ve already seen and cast actors from those eras, but this wouldn’t work.  Why?  Because the people making these memes are ignorant of the underlying real-world and source material elements that have made the MCU what it is.

For example, until 1995, Marvel had film rights to all their characters, only selling them off to various film studios in 1995 to avoid bankruptcy, so start an MCU prior to 1995 and you have the rights to the X-Men, Fantastic and Spider-Man (among others) to use alongside the Avengers and various other Marvel heroes of the MCU.  Also, various characters and plot lines would be different; Bucky Barnes being ret-conned into being the Winter Soldier and Civil War are plot-lines that didn’t occur in the comics until after the turn of the century.  Likewise, the Ultimates continuity that made Nick Fury a Sam Jackson lookalike and gave Hawkeye a family instead of being married to fellow Avenger Mockingbird with no kids was a year 2000 development, and the Starlord-led Guardians of the Galaxy team?  Didn’t happen in comics until 2007; prior to this, the Guardians were a future superhero team that travelled back in time now and then to cross-over with other Marvel heroes.

Given all these differences, it is impossible to re-cast the MCU for the hypothetical scenario that it started in a different era by just swapping out actors.  You have to look at all the characters Marvel would have to work with, consider all the plot-lines (and bear in mind Marvel has been going since 1961, or much earlier if you factor in any material relating to characters like Captain America and Namor that were created when Marvel was known as Timely Comics), and come up with a whole new films slate.  To that end, let’s now re-cap the phases that have come before…

Phase 1:

1992: Fantastic Four, Hulk, Iron Man

1993: Thor, Spider-Man, Ant-Man & The Wasp

1994: Captain America, Fantastic Four 2, Iron Man 2

1995: X-Men, Avengers, Daredevil

Phase 1 established the initial characters of our MCU, putting the Fantastic Four first and foremost to bring them in line with their comic-book counterparts before beginning to develop the Avengers, the X-Men, Spider-Man and Daredevil.

Phase 2:

1996: Spider-Man 2, Thor: Land of Enchantment, Silver Surfer

1997: Hulk vs Wolverine, Fantastic Four: Doomsday, Iron Man 3

1998: Captain America: Society of Serpents, Daredevil 2, X-Men 2

1999: Avenger 2, Spider-Man 3, Doctor Strange

Phase 2 provides expansion as not only do most heroes get solo and ensemble sequels, but other characters start to take on films of their own.  The Silver Surfer is spun off from his appearance in Fantastic Four 2 into a solo film while Doctor Strange is introduced, and we also see the first examples of the “third film loss” trope, including Stark’s loss of his business and Iron Man persona through alcoholism, Doctor Doom destroying the Baxter Building while Ben Grimm loses a chance to be human, and Peter Parker loses Gwen Stacy.

Phase 3:

2000: Fantastic Four: World War III, Thor: Ragnarök, Daredevil 3

2001: Hulk: Rise of the Leader, X-Men: Fall of the Mutants, Avengers: Under Siege

2002: Doctor Strange 2, The Captain, Spider-Man 4

2003: Captain Britain, Fantastic Four: Enter the Negative Zone, Ghost Rider

Phase 3 further put our heroes on the back foot with yet more loss, most notably assaults on the X-Mansion and Avengers Mansion, but we also see more expansion; Namor, the Black Panther and the Inhumans all get introduced via the Fantastic Four, who then go on to become a family via the birth of Franklin Richards, and both Captain Britain and Ghost Rider get added to the mix.

Phase 4:

2004: Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Secret Wars: Part I

2005: Excalibur, Defenders, Ghost Rider 2

2006: X-Factor, Secret Wars: Part II, Heroes For Hire

2007: Namor the Submariner, Doctor Strange 3, Iron Man: Enter The Mandarin

Phase 4 took us through Secret Wars, and along the way gave us a lot more characters.  Black Panther and the original, pre-Carol Danvers iteration of Captain Marvel get solo films, former X-Men become parts of spin-off teams, and we see the formation of the Defenders and a one-shot of the Heroes For Hire, not to mention a Namor solo film and the return of Tony Stark.

Phase 5:

2008: Spider-Man 5, Fantastic Four: Unthinkable, Ms Marvel

2009: Elektra, Black Panther 2, Defenders 2

2010: X-Men: Proteus, Spider-Man 6, Ant-Man 2

2011: Silver Surfer 2, Avengers vs X-Men, Ghost Rider 3

Phase 5 gave us the Black Suit saga for Spider-Man as an aftermath of Secret Wars over the web-slinger’s fifth and sixth solo films, while the Fantastic Four’s sixth film would also be their last as we began the Infinity Saga.  In turn, Carol Danvers and a resurrected Elektra gained solo films, with the former precipitating an Avengers vs X-Men clash.

Phase 6:

2012: Guardians of the Galaxy, Black Panther 3, Iron Man: The Dragon Seed Saga

2013: X-Men: Phoenix Rising, Defenders 3, Ant-Man 3

2014: X-Men: Dark Phoenix Saga, Infinity War, Blade

2015: Inhumans, Infinity War II, Deadpool

Phase 6 concluded the Infinity Saga while also removing Jean Grey and Cyclops from being active in the MCU via the Phoenix and Dark Phoenix sagas being adapted into a film duology.  We also add Blade to the MCU, and the Inhumans finally gained their own film, while several solo and group film franchises reached their third and final instalments.

Phase 7:

2016: Union Jack, Silver Surfer 3, Iron-Man/Spider-Man: Legacy

2017: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Blade 2, Ghost Rider Returns

2018: Eternals, Deadpool 2, New Avengers

2019: X-Men: Days of Future Past, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, Blade 3

Phase 7 was all about dealing with the aftermath of the Infinity Saga and beginning a set-up of Secret Wars.  At the same time, we also added some new heroes, passed on a few mantles and otherwise paved the way for phase 8.

Phase 8:

2020: Wolverine: Enemy of the State, MI13, Ultimate Spider-Man

2021: Deadpool 3, Spider-Woman, Ms Marvel 2

2022: X-Men: Fatal Attractions, Venom, Great Lakes Avengers

2023: Secret Invasion, Howling Commandoes, Wolverine: Sins of the Father

Phase 8 was all about building up and dealing with two major story arcs in the forms of Fatal Attractions and Secret Invasion, while at the same time giving Wolverine his second and third solo films and concluding the Deadpool trilogy, even as a lot of other characters gained solo films for the first time, as did a couple of teams.  This now brings us to the slate for Phase 9…

Phase 9:

2024: The Marvels, Venom 2, Thor 4

2025: Ultimate Spider-Man 2, X-Men: Onslaught, New Avengers: Disassembled

2026: Nova, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Venom 3

2027: Captain Britain: Lionheart, Ultimate Spider-Man 3

2028: House of M: A Whole New World

2029: House of M: M for Mystery

2030: House of M: Endgame

As you can see, we’re taking on quite a few major stories and wrapping up any trilogies we can before diving into the concluding films of this MCU.  Now let’s look at how these films break down…

The Marvels (2024) Directed by Patty Jenkins & Chloé Zhao

Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel II = Melissa Joan Hart

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel = Odeya Rush

Monica Rambeau/Photon = Zoe Kravitz

Rachel Summers = Danielle Panabaker

Rogue = Anna Paquin

Simon Williams/Wonder Man = Taylor Kitsch

Gabriel Summers/Vulcan = Billy Burke

Deathbird = Sunyata Palmer

Super-Skrull = Luke Evans

Delphinia = Karen Gillan

Raksor = Tom Hardy

AIM Scientist Supreme = Grant Gustin

MODOK = Adam Driver

Princess/Empress Lilandra = Winona Ryder

Gladiator = Luke Hemsworth

Oracle = Pom Klementieff

Araki = Mark Hamill

Hecate = Daisy Ridley

Hercules = Arnold Schwarzenegger

Zeus = Brian Blessed

Hera = Michelle Pfieffer

Skrull Fugitive 1 = Ashley Judd

Skrull Fugitive 2 = Elijah Wood

Skrull Fugitive 3 = Mandy Moore

Skrull Fugitive 4 = Dave Franco

While I think the version of The Marvels we got in the MCU proper was not brilliant, the idea of teaming up Carol with others who have laid claim to the Marvel title is not without merit.  To that end, I’ve put Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins on this film along with Eternals director Chloé Zhao.  In this case, Carol is mopping up after the failed Skrull invasion and learns of a Skrull-backed coup against the Shi’ar Empress Lilandra.  To deal with this, Carol not only needs to assemble allies she calls friends, but also bring along a couple of X-Men, which means seeking closure with Rogue.  Doing this also entails a side-quest for Carol and Rogue to the Olympian sorceress Hecate, which allows for some flashback guest appearances by those already cast for Marvel’s versions of Hercules, Zeus and Hera.  A lot of cast members are reprising roles from past films, but there are a few fresh ones in the mix as well.

Venom 2 (2024) Directed by Shawn Levy

Eddie Brock/Venom = Wentworth Miller

Anne Weying = Michelle Williams

FBI Agent Patrick Mulligan = Stephen Graham

Agent Alton Clark = Leslie Odom Jr.

Agent Monica Steen = Italia Ricci

Agent Garon Lewis = Terrence Howard

Donna Diego/Scream = Holland Roden

Trevor Cole/Riot I = Jack Whitehall

Carl March/Phage = Jamie Campbell Bower

Ramón Hernandez/Lasher = Diego Luna

Leslie Gesneria/Agony = Kate Mara

Carlton Drake = Jared Harris

Orwell Taylor = Daniel Kaluuya

Bomblast = Sebastian Stan

Curtis Elkins/Sentry = John Boyega

Samuel Caulkin/Ramshot = Jamie Dornan

Firearm = Paul Wesley

Maxwell Taylor/Screech = Lucas Till

Having used a combination of the Secret Wars films and a fifth and sixth Spider-Man film to give the alien symbiote its proper origin in films, and thus Venom as well, the first film was able to dive right in on his shift to anti-hero from villain, focusing on Venom going up against Carnage.  This time, however, we’re going for a more comic-accurate adaptation of the Lethal Protector arc from 90’s Spider-Man comics.  This accounts for the somewhat expanded cast relative to our first Venom film as well as Sony’s counter-parts.  In terms of roles reprised, only Brock, Weying and the various federal agents are returning characters, while everyone else coming into the film is fresh casting.  Direction-wise, we stick with Shawn Levy because while I’m happy sticking with the horror-comedy for Venom, I’m not in particular favour of Sony’s directorial choices for the franchise, and after Love and Thunder, I’m not about to consider Waititi for anything other than disdain and scorn.

Thor 4 (2024) Directed by Sam Mendes

Thor = Dolph Lundgren

Jane Foster/Thor II = Courtney Cox

Beta Ray Bill = Seth Rogan

Skuttlebutt Computer = John Oliver

Storm/Ororo Monroe = Halle Berry

Forge = Jimmy Smits

Danielle Moonstar = Selena Gomez

Paige Guthrie = Kelly Stables

Roberto Da Costa = Mario Lopez

Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane = Bonnie Wright

Xi'an Coy Manh = Katie Leung

Rachel Summers = Danielle Panabaker

Amara Aquilla/Magma = Isabela Merced

Loki = Gary Oldman

Loki (female incarnation) = Nina Dobrev

Mangog = DeObia Oparei

Hela = Cate Blanchett

Karnilla = Angelina Jolie

Odin = Anthony Hopkins

Frega = Glenn Close

Fandrall = Cary Elwes

Hogun = Tony Leung

Volstagg = Thomas Haden Church

Sif = Demi Moore

Heimdall = Keith David

Balder = Sean Bean

Valkyrie = Diane Kruger

Mist = Talulah Riley

Gruenhilda = Jane Levy

Hildegarde = Yvonne Strahovski

Krista = Samara Weaving

Eitri = Dominic Monaghan

Kindra = Esmé Creed-Miles

Hrimhari = Luke Bracey

One of my favourite story arcs concerning Asgard is actually an X-Men-New Mutants crossover where Loki tried to turn Storm into a Goddess of Thunder while Storm was depowered, and both Thor and Odin were missing.  This film, placed in the hands of British director Sam Mendes, adapts this along with the arcs for Beta Ray Bill becoming Beta Ray Thor and Jane Foster becoming a Thor as well.  Now I’ve noted Jane as a Thor II in the credits strictly for ease of reference, but since lifting Mjolnir only gives someone Thor’s powers and not his name, no one other than the one true Thor will be going by a Thor handle in the film.  Each will either go by their own name(s) or be given a suitable codename.

I’ve also decided to have Loki switch to his female incarnation early on in the film, as Loki assuming both male and female appearances is part of the comics lore and original Norse mythology.  I know that won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I’m not in the habit of catering to the ignorant and intolerant, whether it’s about my differences by way of autistic or the differences of others, so don’t go whining if you’re not able to understand acceptance of people being different.  Also, for those who know the comics but late to these rambles wondering why Paige Guthrie is among the mutants for this film instead of Sam Guthrie, that’s because I cast Paul Walker to play Sam in earlier MCU films, and since he died a while ago, I’ve been swapping out the character of Sam for his sister Paige in appropriate later films.

Ultimate Spider-Man 2 (2025) Directed by Ryan Coogler

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Ben Reilly/Scarlet Spider II = Ross Lynch

Janine Godbe = Bella Thorne

Barbara Rodriguez = Barbie Ferreira

Rio Morales = Penélope Cruz

Jefferson Davis = Eriq La Salle

Ganke Lee = Jacob Batalon

Richard Fisk/The Rose = Tom Hooper

Delilah = Demi Lovato

David Brayer/Armarda = Taron Egerton

Alistair Smythe = Tyler Posey

Yuri Watanabe = Ally Maki

Dr Miles Warren/Jackal = Kyle MacLachlan

Kaine/Scarlet Spider = Wil Wheaton

Ava Ayala = Cierra Ramirez

Anya Corazon = Alejandra Reynoso

Shirley Lewis = Gabrielle Union

Devon Lewis = Niles Fitch

Jessica Carradine = Miranda Cosgrove

Desiree Winthrop = Dakota Fanning

Buzz = Joe Spano

Not really knowing the lore for Miles Morales as Spider-Man, my films for his character end up being about putting together plots that are based on the arcs I know from Peter Parker Spidey lore.  Not the best option, I will admit, but at the same time it creates interesting scenarios if handled right, which is why I’ve picked Ryan Coogler to direct this sequel to the first Ultimate Spider-Man film (that one having been directed by Denzel Washington, who has previously played Joe Robertson in this MCU).  In this film, Miles has help from Ben Reilly, a fellow arachnid-powered superhero known as the Scarlet Spider, as they try to take down the criminal empire of the Kingpin’s son.  However, little do the spiders know that the Jackal is still around, along with the flawed Peter Parker clone that is Kaine, and they will spell disaster.

X-Men: Onslaught (2025) Directed by James Wan

Professor Charles Xavier (revitalised version) = Daniel Stewart

Storm/Ororo Monroe = Halle Berry

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Laura Kinney/X-23 = Dafne Keen

Rogue = Anna Paquin

Remi LeBeau/Gambit = Zachary Levi

Jubilee = Chloe Bennett

Emma Frost = Elizabeth Banks

Bishop = Winston Duke

Rachel Summers = Danielle Panabaker

Sarah/Marrow = Sarah Hyland

Beast/Hank McCoy = Alec Baldwin

Onslaught = Matthew Macfadyen & Daniel Stewart

Reed Richards/Mr Fantastic = Tom Hanks

Susan Storm (Richards)/Invisible Woman = Meg Ryan

Johnny Storm/Human Torch = David Spade

Franklin Richards = Ty Simpkins

Steve Rogers/Captain America = Brad Pitt

Thor = Dolph Lundgren

Jennifer Walters/She-Hulk = Lucy Lawless

Sam Wilson/Falcon = Will Smith

Monica Rambeau/Photon = Zoe Kravitz

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Juggernaut/Cain Marko = Greg Kinnear

Gabrielle Haller = Moran Atias

David Haller/Legion = Dylan Sprayberry

Joseph = Zachary Gordon

Exodus = Jean Dujardin

Spoor = Kevin McKidd

Scanner = Caity Lotz

Katu = Gil Birmingham

Joanna Cargill/Frenzy = Amanda Nunes

Magneto = Matthew Macfadyen

Peter Rasputin/Colossus = Henry Cavill

This film gives us a partial adaptation of a major story arc from Marvel in the mid-90’s, as the X-Men team up with other heroes old and new against the psychic entity Onslaught, a fusion of the darkest elements of Magneto and Professor X seeking to escape Xavier’s mind and wreak havoc on the world.  The film also adapts some of the set-up to the Onslaught arc, and as the continuity for these films is different, we use Xavier’s son David in place of Nate Grey for certain elements.  Much of the cast is returning from past films, and I can’t be sure which roles if any are new.  Direction-wise, however, I’ve given the reins to James Wan based on the quality of his directing for Aquaman (though I do wish he’d changed the casting for Mera instead of keeping on the husband-beater).

New Avengers: Disassembled (2025) Directed by Roland Emmerich

Scott Lang/Ant-Man II = Paul Rudd

Nadia Pym/Wasp II = Shailene Woodley

Dr Stephen Strange = Johnny Depp

Luke Cage = Tyrese Gibson

Hawkeye II/Kate Bishop = Hailee Steinfeld

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Amadeus Cho/Iron Man III = Charles Melton

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel = Odeya Rush

Doreen Green/Squirrel Girl = Paris Berelc

Eros/Starfox = Joel McHale

Sersi = Gemma Chan

Gilgamesh = Don Lee

Cassie Lang/Stature = Joey King

Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff = Kate Beckinsale

Vision 2.0 = Paul Bettany

Ultron 2.0 = James Spader

Vlad Tepish/Dracula = Mads Mikkelsen

Arkady Rossovich/Omega Red = David Harbour

Deathbird = Sunyata Palmer

Super-Skrull = Luke Evans

Exodus = Jean Dujardin

Frank Simpson/Nuke = John Cena

Jackson Day/Corruptor = Robbie Amell

Part of setting up for a House of M story arc means we have to see Scarlet Witch undergo a mental breakdown and disassemble the Avengers, which is part of why the New Avengers were assembled in phase 7.  This film basically adapts the Avengers Disassembled arc as best it can within the timeline of this alternate MCU, with the actors who played Vision and Ultron in the real MCU now coming in to take over from the original actors for this 90’s MCU, namely Casper Van Dien (Johnny Rico in Starship Troopers) and Marc Alaimo (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’s Gul Dukat) respectively.  Except for one or two villains, the film is all returning cast under the direction of Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, 2012, White House Down and many others).  This is the fourth film of this 90’s MCU I’ve put under Emmerich; the previous three were Avengers: Under Siege, Captain Marvel (solo film for the original male Kree bearer of the title) and Fantastic Four: Unthinkable.

Nova (2026) Directed by James Gunn

Sam Alexander/Nova = Raphael Alejandro

Kaelynn Alexander = Oshún Ramirez

Eva Alexander = Michelle Rodriguez

Corpsman Rhomann Dey = Will Poulter

Corpsman Jesse Alexander = Mark Ruffalo

Carrie = Lilly Aspell

Karl Moffet = Noah Schnapp

Principal Philbin = John C Reilly

Nova Prime Richard Ryder = Edward Norton

Nova Senturion Garthan Saal = Peter Serafinowicz

Corpsman Malik Tarcel = Jake Gyllenhaal

Rocket = Bradley Cooper

Hepzibah = Kirsty Swanson

Titus = Patrick Seitz

Gamora = Zoe Saldana

Fang = Matthew Lawrence

Raksor = Tom Hardy

Elaine Coll/Scorpia = Camilla Belle

Having had the Nova corps come up in this MCU’s Guardians of the Galaxy films as they did in the real MCU, a solo film focused on a human corps member seems like a logical and important project.  However, as Richard Ryder’s Nova has been used in the Guardians films this time round, it makes more sense to jump straight to the more recent version that is Sam Alexander.  This film is very much a passing-of-the-torch film in various respects, and I bring back Guardians director James Gunn to handle it (for the purposes of this hypothetical MCU, we’ll assume Gunn isn’t tied up by production duties with DC and Warner Brothers).

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2026) Directed by Miguel Arteta

Robbie Reyes/Ghost Rider III = Taylor Lautner

Eli Morrow = Eddie Cibrian

Gabriel Reyes = Michael Cimino

Lisa = Madeline Brewer

Johnny Blaze = Connor Trinneer

Calvin Zabo/Mr Hyde = James McAvoy

Grumpy = Luis Guzmán

Guero Valdez = Rodrigo Santoro

Alejandra Jones/Vengeance = Alice Braga

Having given the Johnny Blaze iteration of Ghost Rider a trilogy by way of Connor Trinneer and then given Andrew Garfield the role of the Danny Ketch Ghost Rider for a solo film and a few team-ups, this last entry for the Ghost Rider focuses on the Robbie Reyes incarnation.  The film is largely new casting, with only Connor returning as Blaze as he advises Reyes on how to handle the Rider curse in his clash with fellow spectral super-being Vengeance.  The lead role of Reyes falls to Taylor Lautner more in spite of his past in the Twilight films than because of them, and since Reyes is a Latino superhero, I felt it important to have someone from the same background handle the direction, hence the selection of Puerto Rican director Miguel Arteta.

Venom 3 (2026) Directed by Shawn Levy

Eddie Brock/Venom = Wentworth Miller

Anne Weying = Michelle Williams

Flash Thompson/Anti-Venom = Ben Affleck

Sha Shan Nguyen = Grace Park

Knull = Rhys Ifans

Carlton Drake/Riot II = Jared Harris

Agent Patrick Mulligan/Toxin = Stephen Graham

Dr Karl Malus/Carnage II = Jared Leto

Patricia Robertson/Mania = Emily Osment

Agent Alton Clark = Leslie Odom Jr.

Agent Monica Steen = Italia Ricci

Agent Garon Lewis = Terrence Howard

Jefferson Davis = Eriq La Salle

Yuri Watanabe = Ally Maki

Dr Ashley Kafka = Keri Russell

Mac Gargan/Scorpion = Brian Bloom

Shirley Lewis = Gabrielle Union

Devon Lewis = Niles Fitch

For the third and final Venom film, we see Flash Thompson given an artificial symbiote that makes him the “Anti-Venom” in order to take down Brock’s anti-hero.  However, the two must instead work together when it turns out Carlton Drake and several others are not only hosting the symbiotes of Venom’s past foes from films one and two, but they’re also preparing to unleash their god Knull upon Earth.  This film is partly original films and partly a loose adaptation of various other bits of Venom/Spider-Man lore.  Again, I keep Shawn Levy in place to direct.

Captain Britain: Lionheart (2027) Directed by Sam Mendes & Patty Jenkins

Kelsey Leigh/Captain Britain II = Hermione Corfield

Brian Braddock Jr./Captain Britain = Jamie Bamber

Meggan = Sienna Miller

Martin Leigh = Matthew Illesley

Jenny Leigh = Elodie Blomfield

Mrs Shorr = Emma Thompson

Victoria Bentley = Emma Watson

Morgan Le Fey = Catherine McCormack

Umar = Ruth Wilson

Dirk Garthwaite/Wrecker = Dallas Page

Dr Eliot Franklin/Thunderball = David Otunga

Brian Phillip Calusky/Piledriver = Adam Joseph Copeland

Henry Camp/Bulldozer = Steve Austin

Roma = Rachel Weisz

Joseph Chapman/Union Jack III = Rob Mallard

Dane Whitman/Black Knight = Ioan Gruffudd

Dr Faiza Hussain/Excalibur = Nikkita Chadha

Scott Wright/Micromax = Jack O'Connell

Harley Davis/Motormouth = Louisa Lytton

Pete Wisdom = Tom Bateman

Ben Gallagher = Alex Pettyfer

Richard Leigh = Thomas Brodie-Sangster

As a Brit, I’ve made a point of peppering this MCU with one-shot films for various UK-based heroes and teams that I know are part of Marvel lore, and which the relevant studios that have rights to those characters either keep avoiding or get wrong.  This includes solo films for the original Captain Britain and the modern-day incarnation of Union Jack, plus team films for X-Men spin-off group Excalibur and the more government-based MI13.  For this film, however, we’re giving the spotlight to Kelsey Leigh, a woman who followed Brian Braddock as the second Captain Britain for a time before shifting her code-name to Lionheart when Brian Braddock resumed the Captain Britain mantle.

This film is part adaptation of Kelsey’s origin arc from the comics and part original film, including the additions of her estranged husband and a suitable new romantic interest into the film.  There’s a decent mix of new and old casting and also a little borrowing of characters from other places, including Dr Strange’s English friend and ally Victoria Bentley being a character in the mix.  For direction, I’m not aware of many British film directors that are also female, so I decided to pair Sam Mendes with Patty Jenkins so the former could bring the British perspective while the latter brings the female perspective.  Hopefully, the fusion of the two would be quite interesting to see.

Ultimate Spider-Man 3 (2027) Directed by Ryan Coogler

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Barbara Rodriguez = Barbie Ferreira

Ava Ayala/White Tiger = Cierra Ramirez

Anya Corazon/Spider-Girl = Alejandra Reynoso

Rio Morales = Penélope Cruz

Jefferson Davis = Eriq La Salle

Ganke Lee = Jacob Batalon

Dr Otto Octavius/Doctor Octopus = Alfred Molina

Sandman/Flint Marko = Dwayne Johnson

Phil Urich/Hobgoblin = Joe Kerry

Vincent Stegron = David Henrie

Francine Frye/Electro = Kaya Scodelario

Ana Kravinoff/Kraven the Hunter = Mia Goth

Yuri Watanabe = Ally Maki

Peter Parker = Wil Wheaton

Shirley Lewis = Gabrielle Union

Devon Lewis = Niles Fitch

While Peter Parker took on the Sinister Six in Spider-Man 4 within this MCU, we’re giving Miles a Sinister Six to fight on his third and final solo film.  However, unlike Peter, Miles is not alone, as we give two of Miles’ supporting cast their chance to shine as superheroes.  In terms of the villains, only Doc Ock, Sandman and the new female Electro represent returning cast members, while Hobgoblin, Stegron and Kraven’s daughter provide some new faces.  For direction, Ryan Coogler completes this trilogy just ahead of the House of M trilogy.

House of M: A Whole New World (2028) Directed by JJ Abrams

Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff = Kate Beckinsale

Magneto (revitalised version) = Matthew Macfadyen

Emma Frost = Elizabeth Banks

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler = Daniel Brühl

Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane = Bonnie Wright

Jubilee = Chloe Bennett

Bishop = Winston Duke

Rachel Summers = Danielle Panabaker

Neal Shaara/Thunderbird = Karan Brar

Rogue = Anna Paquin

Betsy Braddock/Psylocke = Lena Headey

Megan Gwynn/Pixie = Alexa Davies

Laura Kinney/X-23 = Dafne Keen

Dane Whitman/Black Knight = Ioan Gruffudd

Kelsey Leigh/Lionheart = Hermione Corfield

Sabra/Ruth Bat-Seraph = Gal Gadot

Navid Hashim/Arabian Knight = Marwan Kenzari

Dr Faiza Hussain/Excalibur = Nikkita Chadha

Scott Wright/Micromax = Jack O'Connell

Harley Davis/Motormouth = Louisa Lytton

Pete Wisdom = Tom Bateman

Alistaire Stuart = David Tennant

Joseph Chapman/Union Jack III = Rob Mallard

Brian Braddock Jr./Captain Britain = Jamie Bamber

Meggan = Sienna Miller

Dr Stephen Strange = Johnny Depp

Namor McKenzie/The Submariner = Christian Bale

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Amadeus Cho/Iron Man II = Charles Melton

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel = Odeya Rush

Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel = Melissa Joan Hart

Sersi = Gemma Chan

Gilgamesh = Don Lee

Sam Alexander/Nova = Raphael Alejandro

Robbie Reyes/Ghost Rider III = Taylor Lautner

Peter Rasputin/Colossus = Henry Cavill

The House of M trilogy is set out a bit like Lord of the Rings; three films, all probably quite long, filmed back-to-back and released one per year.  However, unlike the Lord of the Rings, we’re changing up the directors and while films two and three occur in the altered reality that shares its name with the films, the first film is very much an Infinity War-style enterprise.  The Scarlet Witch gets free and begins to hunt once more for the means to alter reality.  Every hero still active in the MCU shifts into gear to stop or delay her in her quest, and when reality changes, will anyone remember how things were before?  This film is all returning cast, directed by JJ Abrams.

House of M: M for Mystery (2029) Directed by Roland Emmerich

Magneto (revitalised version) = Matthew Macfadyen

Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff (House of M guise) = Elizabeth Olsen

Quicksilver (House of M version) = Aaron Taylor-Johnson

Polaris (House of M Version) = Samara Weaving

Havok (House of M Version) = Lucas Till

Peter Rasputin/Colossus = Henry Cavill

Psylocke (House of M version) = Daisy Ridley

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Rogue (House of M Version) = Debby Ryan

Raven Darkholme/Mystique = Connie Nielsen

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler = Daniel Brühl

Neal Shaara/Thunderbird = Karan Brar

Emma Frost (House of M version) = Alice Eve

Kate Pryde (House of M version) = Hailee Steinfeld

Iceman (House of M Version) = Dacre Montgomery

Pyro (House of M Version) = Adam Demos

Cannonball (House of M Version) = Peyton Meyer

Siryn (House of M Version) = Amybeth McNulty

Scott Summers (HoM Version) = Miles Tiller

Jean Grey (HoM Version) = Emma Stone

Dr Hank McCoy (HoM Version) = Tom Hardy

Sean Cassidy (HoM Version) = Michael Fassbender

Alison Blaire/Dazzler (HoM Version) = Jennifer Lawrence

Jubilee (HoM Version) = Lana Condor

Warren Worthington III (HoM Version) = Chris Pine

T'Challa/Black Panther (HoM Version) = Michael B. Jordan

Ororo Iquadi T'Challa (HoM Version) = Zazie Beetz

King Namor (HoM Version) = Zachary Quinto

Doctor Doom (HoM Version) = Christoph Walz

Prime Minister Brian Braddock = Jamie Bamber

Lady Meggan = Sienna Miller

Prime Minister Ruth Bat-Seraph = Gal Gadot

King Navid Hasham = Marwan Kenzari

Queen Faiza Hussain = Nikkita Chadha

Agent Whitman = Ioan Gruffudd

Agent Wisdom = Tom Bateman

Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel (House of M Version) = Margot Robbie

Peter Parker/Spider-Man (House of M Version) = Tom Holland

Gwen Parker = Dove Cameron

Ben Barker (House of M Version) = Matt Le Blanc

May Parker (House of M Version) = Leah Remini

J. Jonah Jameson (House of M Version) = Gary Oldman

Aleksei Sytsevich/Rhino (House of M version) = Dave Bautista

Luke Cage (HoM Version) = Michael Colter

Kamala Khan = Odeya Rush

Tony Stark (HoM Version) = Luke Evans

Sam Alexander = Raphael Alejandro

Robbie Reyes = Taylor Lautner

Clint Barton (HoM Version) = Chris Pratt

Layla Miller = Lulu Wilson

Dr Hank Pym (HoM Version) = Oscar Isaac

Black Bolt = Pierce Brosnan

Medusa = Elizabeth Hurley

Crystal = Dina Meyer

Gorgon = J.G. Hertzler

Karnak = Alexander Siddig

Triton = Orlando Bloom

Sersi = Gemma Chan

Ikaris = Richard Madden

Gilgamesh = Don Lee

Thena = Rose Byrne

Kingo = Kumail Nanjiani

Makkari = Lauren Ridloff

Phastos = Brian Tyree Henry

Ajak = Jennifer Lopez

Druig = Barry Keoghan

Mentor = Michael McKean

Eros/Starfox = Joel McHale

Dr Stephen Strange (HoM Version) = Benedict Cumberbatch

Matt Murdock (HoM Version) = Charlie Cox

For the second House of M film, not only do we launch into a whole other world, but we undergo a major re-cast.  A lot of this is because various actors will have aged out of their former roles since this MCU began in the 1990’s, and a few have even passed away, requiring either other characters to replace them or re-casts to finish final performances.  As a result, the cast includes a multitude of “House of M Version” notations to show up where new actors take on the roles.  Another reason for these changes is that a new world and new timeline brings with it an alternate history, resulting in some differences in personalities.  Plot-wise, the film is largely focused on Wolverine, who now remembers his entire life from the MCU prior to Wanda altering reality.  This makes him a danger to the status quo of the House of M, which is shown through various vignettes interspersed throughout the film.  That being said, there is also a major arc in this film for Spider-Man that, together with Logan’s arc, really sets up for the last film.  In addition to the various House of M variants, we also get Layla Miller added as the one new character overall in the film.  Direction-wise, Roland Emmerich handles this middle instalment of the trilogy.

House of M: Endgame (2030) Directed by the Russo Brothers

Magneto (revitalised version) = Matthew Macfadyen

Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff = Kate Beckinsale

Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff (House of M guise) = Elizabeth Olsen

Quicksilver (House of M version) = Aaron Taylor-Johnson

Polaris (House of M Version) = Samara Weaving

Havok (House of M Version) = Lucas Till

Peter Rasputin/Colossus = Henry Cavill

Psylocke (House of M version) = Daisy Ridley

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Rogue (House of M Version) = Debby Ryan

Raven Darkholme/Mystique = Connie Nielsen

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler = Daniel Brühl

Neal Shaara/Thunderbird = Karan Brar

Kate Pryde (House of M version) = Hailee Steinfeld

Cannonball (House of M Version) = Peyton Meyer

Scott Summers (HoM Version) = Miles Tiller

Jean Grey (HoM Version) = Emma Stone

Dr Hank McCoy (HoM Version) = Tom Hardy

Sean Cassidy (HoM Version) = Michael Fassbender

Alison Blaire/Dazzler (HoM Version) = Jennifer Lawrence

Jubilee (HoM Version) = Lana Condor

Warren Worthington III (HoM Version) = Chris Pine

T'Challa/Black Panther (HoM Version) = Michael B. Jordan

Ororo Iquadi T'Challa (HoM Version) = Zazie Beetz

King Namor (HoM Version) = Zachary Quinto

Prime Minister Ruth Bat-Seraph = Gal Gadot

Luke Cage (HoM Version) = Michael Colter

Kamala Khan = Odeya Rush

Tony Stark (HoM Version) = Luke Evans

Sam Alexander = Raphael Alejandro

Clint Barton (HoM Version) = Chris Pratt

Layla Miller = Lulu Wilson

Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel (House of M Version) = Margot Robbie

Peter Parker/Spider-Man (House of M Version) = Tom Holland

Dr Stephen Strange (HoM Version) = Benedict Cumberbatch

Matt Murdock (HoM Version) = Charlie Cox

Kelsey Leigh = Hermione Corfield

Martin Leigh = Matthew Illesley

Jenny Leigh = Elodie Blomfield

Mrs Shorr = Emma Thompson

Richard Leigh = Thomas Brodie-Sangster

Alistaire Stuart = David Tennant

Bruce Banner (HoM Version) = Rory Cochrane

Jennifer Walters (HoM Version) = Krysten Ritter

The title says it all, really.  Through Layla, the memory of how reality should be is restored and they prepare to assault Magneto and his family to try and set the world right.  How it ends, I’m not sure; in the comics, Wanda said “no more mutants” and just reduced the mutant population to virtual non-existence for a time.  With some different wording, the films could either end on a reboot or they could take out everything normal, giving all our heroes happily ever afters in a world like ours.  Either way, it’s the Russo brothers that see this iteration of the MCU to an end.

So, that concludes anything superhero fan-cast related for a while at least.  I am working on TV show-style fan-casting for Marvel and DC, but I’m not yet ready to turn either into rambles as yet.  For now, fan-cast fans will have to content themselves with my Poirot and Marple fan-casts, and for DC fans, I am still working on Gotham episode reviews, though at the moment it’s going to continue to be at a reduced rate for a while.  So, until the next ramble, ta-ta for now.

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Ramble of the month January 2025: What films are superhero films and what films aren’t

A bit later into the month than I originally hoped, we come to my first monthly ramble of 2025, marking the start of a fourth year of such rambles for me on Tumblr.  However, rather than doing any kind of New Year’s medley of subjects, this month’s ramble will be focused on something I came across on my Facebook news feed in November 2024.  While scrolling, I came across a post listing superhero films made by Disney or by companies under its ownership.  Some of these were clear and present superhero films, namely instalments in the Marvel Cinematic Universe or Fox’s largely defunct X-Verses (I say largely because Deadpool and Wolverine spent all its time preserving one such universe instead of ending it so we get on with the MCU developing its own mutants).

However, some struck me as decidedly not being superhero films for various reasons, and so I felt compelled to make sure that I wrote a ramble to point out where this post had gone wrong and why.  Part of this is because, as I’ve noted in the past, I am autistic and superhero lore is a special interest of mine, which means I can be very exacting about what makes good superhero lore.  However, another part is knowing that past poor efforts in superhero lore almost ended the genre in film, and only through more serious efforts was the genre saved and able to grow as we’ve seen throughout the first two decades of the 21st century.

Given this, I feel it’s important for people in film and TV to take this genre seriously, and part of that means people in general should understand the difference between a proper superhero film and some horrid work of rip-off or parody that fails to do more than perpetuate stereotypes or otherwise drag down the quality and reputation of the genre.  To have this understanding, we need to isolate the elements and distinguish a superhero film from anything else, and due to how the genre has developed over decades of comic book source material, that can be easier said than done.

For a start, many tropes within a superhero world have exceptions, so not all characters subscribe to the same rules.  A good example of this is the idea of a secret identity; in most comic book universes containing superheroes, you will find some characters that staunchly maintain such an identity, some characters that don’t bother with one, and some that can go either way.  In the world of Marvel, for example, the Fantastic Four have always been public superheroes, Spider-Man and Daredevil strongly maintain their secrecy, and many of the Avengers will vary by medium, era or both.  DC Comics also experience this with their characters, though their characters rarely vary their stance depending on story-telling medium.

Next, there is the matter of superhero outfits.  Some will have a very superhero-esque attire, whether individualised or team-oriented, but some characters in a superhero world are less concerned about such things.  This is how fans have been able to endure the lack of a costume for Wolverine while Fox held the rights to the X-Men franchise; even in the earliest comics, Wolverine had some disdain for doing anything the X-Men asked of him, so it’s easy to see him putting off wearing his individual comics uniform.  By the same token, DC’s character Constantine dresses more in line with being a paranormal investigator and doesn’t develop any kind of “superhero” look or persona.

In turn, not all superheroes have bases of any description, much less dedicated methods of transport, and while some are superhuman in terms of extraordinary powers, others are super-geniuses or possess extraordinary skills or willpower, enabling even non-powered characters like Hawkeye or Batman to be counted among the superheroes of their respective worlds.  Given this, we can say that while not all superheroes must have secret identities, powers, uniforms, bases and so on, at least some of these elements must exist for a world of fiction to qualify as a superhero world.  How much is perhaps something of a judgement call, but nonetheless some of this needs to be in place.

Next, I would say that a superhero world must mainly be about superheroes.  We get this in Marvel and DC film continuities because while each film may take on a sub-genre, like the tech thrillers of Iron Man, the cosmic fantasy of Thor or war film and political thrillers of Captain America, all are ultimately superhero films.  The superhero genre is primary, the other genres secondary, which brings us to the first film I discount from the Disney films post that inspires this article.  The film Super Buddies is one instalment in a run of Disney family films about a group of labrador puppies, and the only one to incorporate superhero elements.  In this case, superheroes are a sub-genre while the primary genre is animal-based children’s entertainment, so it doesn’t qualify.

Likewise, the Disney-Pixar film Lightyear also fails because not only is Buzz Lightyear a basic space cop in a sci-fi film, akin to crossing NCIS with Total Recall, or that could just as easily be a Star Trek or Star Wars spin-off, but Lightyear originates in the Toy Story universe.  I highly doubt we’d give the likes of Woody or Jessie superhero status if their in-universe source material was developed into a spin-off, so why do it for Buzz just because he's the lead space cop among a wider group of them?  It might count if there was a wider universe of characters that better fit into the superhero genre and its tropes, as then elements of Lightyear lore might lend themselves to his inclusion, but as it stands, I can’t consider anything Lightyear as superhero genre.

The third rule is that despite any ventures into comedic beats within a film, or even into comedy as a sub-genre, real superhero films need to take themselves seriously.  Even the Deadpool film franchise knows how to make jokes that fit the character without disparaging or insulting the superhero genre and its fans outright.  There is a line between good comedy in service to making a superhero film better and just being ludicrous, and indeed failure to see or heed this line was part of what led to the horrible Joel Schumacher Batman films of the 1990’s, which in turn almost ended the superhero film genre and remain the example of how not to handle superhero films.  If you must make mistakes in superhero films, err on the side of being over-serious, as even at its worst, Snyder-verse DC trumps the cheese of Schumacher Batman or West-era Batman.

This now brings us to the Disney film Sky High, which takes teenage high school cliché and combines it with bad superhero cliché and stereotyping to land on a parody without meaning to.  Thank goodness some of its stars like Danielle Panabaker and Kurt Russell have since gone on to do more legitimate superhero projects and give themselves better legacies in the genre.  However, this film is another example of how not to make superhero films, something Disney apparently failed to heed based on another film will come to in due course.

Now it’s worth adding in the rule a superhero film needs to actually be a film.  It seems to be easy to lose track of this based on Marvel’s recent actions in the wake of Avengers: Endgame.  Since beginning the multiverse saga, Marvel has forgotten that the C in MCU stands for cinematic, spending time and resources on the creation of streaming content that, like anything TV-based, is not designed to be of film length or structure.  Likewise, their streaming content is not intended for cinematic release, or even to be considered as a direct-to-home-release film in the manner of DC’s animated films.  As a result, TV specials like the ones for Guardians of the Galaxy or Werewolf by Night don’t belong on a film list.

For that matter, this also disqualifies the short-film entry given on the Disney post that sparked this ramble for Edna from the Incredibles.  A superhero film must always be a film in its own right, so an extra on a DVD or Blu-Ray like Aunt Edna hardly counts.  Even if it is called a short film, is it really?  In my experience of such extras, it’s probably not even the length of a TV episode designed for half-hour timeslots, whereas a true short film should be just exceeding 40 minutes at minimum and thereby challenging or surpassing the length of hour-long TV programming if all adverts were removed.  Give this production a run-time like that and release it by itself and it might just qualify, but to my mind, it doesn’t as it stands now.

Our last rule to consider is one of being original.  The best superhero films either adapt characters that were original in some way in their original comic form or create a new character that doesn’t over-depend on borrowed elements from other superhero lore.  Marvel and DC are both safe in this regard, because while Marvel and DC characters do at times ape each other, there is often enough distinction in the detail to ensure we can see the originality therein.  However, for original characters outside of these franchises, things can be more problematic.  Case-in-point, the last film I disqualify from the Disney superhero films post I saw is a Disney “original” entitled The Secret Society of Second-Born Royals.

Now given that this is a film under the Disney banner, the title is hardly a surprise, and based on some quick internet research, it should surprise no one that this is a film I would readily discount.  It appears to be trying to rip off elements of the X-Men franchise and combine them with commonly used Disney elements, resulting in a poor rip-off disguised as a film instead of a real superhero film.  Doubtless even the more casual viewer will spot this, and while some may even suggest it also rips off Harry Potter, let’s remember the X-Men was doing the school for people with weird powers long before the bigoted authoress that is J.K. Rowling put fingers to keyboard.

Consequently, the only film from the original post outside of the cinematic releases for the MCU and the Fox X-Verses in The Rocketeer, a film that is based on a superhero comic and retains sufficient superhero tropes that we can count it as an acceptable if lesser-known inclusion in the genre.  Indeed, it is worth noting that some elements are similar to those of DC Comics’ adventurer Adam Strange.  However, the other films we’ve noted all fail in one way or another, and while they are a few examples of how not to handle superhero films, even Marvel and DC have been known to fail to produce the best example of superhero cinema they could.

Aside from the Schumacher and West Batman incarnations, which are too cheesy to be considered proper Batman lore in the modern era, Marvel’s dilution of focus from its films and Sony’s over-use of Spider-Man-related characters means the latest efforts from both studios are lacking, and with the like of the X-Men and Fantastic Four soon to have films made by Marvel Studios, it’s important to understand what makes good superhero cinema.  As such, we must include one further rule as an addendum for those superhero films based on comics; know the characters.

What do I mean by this?  Very simple; a lot of errors in superhero film making that have occurred in recent years have happened because of insufficient attention being paid to who characters are.  The recent efforts by Thor in Marvel films to joke like Tony Stark are a key example, because Thor is not Tony and so by that fact alone his efforts at comedy fail.  He is Thor, he comes from Asgard, and he would have the humour inherent to growing up in that culture.  Likewise, when we consider Fox’s X-Verse films, a lot of characters come from different nations, yet have either been given American accents or English ones that fail to match the nations and cultures they come from.  These failures result from poor choices in directors, casting, writing and so on, so we don’t get the adaptations we should and have to endure mediocre efforts.

As such, I sincerely hope that as Marvel wraps up the multiverse saga and James Gunn works on his DC universe, both companies and others handling superhero films pay heed to past mistakes, using what they learn from the mis-steps of old to create better superhero cinema going forward.  Certainly with at least three MCU films and the new Superman film all out at cinemas over the course of 2025, one can only hope we will see signs of learning from past errors, as I’m not sure Deadpool and Wolverine demonstrated many.  Anyway, until next month’s ramble, ta-ta for now.

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Episode Reviews - Gotham: Season 2 (2 of 4)

Episode 7: Mommy’s Little Monster

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Butch leads Cobblepot to a warehouse in the port where his mother is being held. While trying to release her from her cell, Galavan and Tabitha arrive, revealing the only way to release her is from a key Galavan only possesses. Cobblepot orders Butch to kill them, but instead, Butch kills Cobblepot's henchmen. Tabitha is revealed to have reversed Butch's brainwashing. Cobblepot pleads for his mother's life and Tabitha releases her. While Cobblepot and his mother hug, Tabitha stabs her in the back. She dies in Cobblepot's arms and Galavan orders Butch to kill him and dispose of their bodies. Cobblepot calls Galavan and all his ancestors’ "cowards" for not killing him himself and Galavan decides to do it personally. While Galavan is aiming his gun at him, Cobblepot removes Tabitha's knife from his mother's back and slashes Galavan's throat and escapes through a window, vowing to kill Galavan.

In his apartment, Nygma begins to suffer nightmares after accidentally killing Kringle. He is even further tormented by the evil personification of himself. He realizes that the personification removed Kringle's body while he slept and needs to find it. Meanwhile, Galavan is elected mayor of Gotham City with the support of Gordon in exchange for help in cleaning up the GCPD. Galavan then claims that the knife wound on his neck came when Cobblepot proposed that the mayor-elect should join up with him to rule the city, and Galavan "politely declined." Captain Barnes and Harvey Dent get an arrest and search warrant for Cobblepot and his allies. Galavan also imposes a curfew and martial law in order to find Cobblepot.

Still distraught at Bridgit's "death", Selina visits Bruce and is introduced to Silver St. Cloud. While Selina and Silver are alone, Silver threatens Selina not to visit Bruce again. Later, with Bruce as a witness, Selina accuses Silver of faking everything and insults her, which prompts Silver to leave. Bruce then tells Selina to leave, and says that they're no longer friends. While pursuing Butch, Gordon reveals to Bullock that he may have found some links between Galavan and Mayor James's abduction. They find Butch and his crew but they are ambushed by Victor Zsasz and his gunmen. Butch's crew abandon him and Gordon threatens to deliver Butch to Zsasz if he doesn't tell them what's going on. Butch reveals Galavan was the behind the mayor’s abduction, the assassination of the candidates, and the kidnapping of Cobblepot's mother, before escaping.

Nygma begins to solve his alter ego's riddles at the GCPD HQ in order to find Kringle's corpse. He finds her hand in a vending machine and her corpse in the medical examiner's morgue. He is nearly discovered by Leslie but he narrowly manages to deflect her. That night, Galavan organizes a victory celebration, aware that Cobblepot will try to kill him. The watch sniper, Martinez, stands guard in the roof and notices Penguin and his gang. Penguin is apparently killed by Tabitha, but is shown to be a decoy and the group turns out to be a large amount of heavily armed Penguin imposters. Martinez is killed by Tabitha after confronting her on the roof. The impostors arrive at the party and a shootout occurs. While trying to lead Galavan away from the party, Gordon is confronted at gunpoint by Penguin. Penguin asks Gordon to step aside by emotionally stating that Galavan killed his mother. Gordon contemplates what to do, while Galavan orders him to kill Penguin. Tabitha shoots Cobblepot; while Gordon and Bullock shoot at her, Cobblepot escapes in Galavan's limo.

In the aftermath of the massacre, Silver kisses Bruce while Selina watches from outside. Gordon decides to investigate Galavan after he confronts him for not shooting Cobblepot and everything he heard. Nygma returns to the morgue and is confronted again by the evil personality. The evil personality convinces Nygma that he enjoyed the killing and leaving riddles. Both Nygma's personalities merge and he prepares to dispose of Kringle's corpse.

Review:

Again, it’s taken me a while to sit down and review these episodes after re-watching them; in this case, we can thank Christmas and then a long-lasting head-cold for much of the delay.  So, this episode finally dispenses with the Penguin’s mother, which is just as well as I wasn’t a huge fan of her character and felt her being around was starting to weight Penguin down as a character.  Meanwhile, Nygma’s Riddler persona keeps developing along the psychotic killer lines that I’m not wild about but am now resigned to seeing in this series at least.  Most of the rest of the episode nicely progresses, though the awkwardness and general cringe-factor of the Bruce-Silver-Selina love triangle is a bit of a drawback.  I can’t help thinking that if Gotham had been made more like Arrow and we were dealing with adult versions of these characters, it would be more palatable.  On balance, I give this episode 8 out of 10.

Episode 8: Tonight’s The Night

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Barbara has a dream about her wedding rehearsal with Gordon. The priest turns out to be Cobblepot, Galavan playing the organ, and the attendees become Arkham Asylum's escapees. Everyone, even Gordon, begins laughing at her. She then gets tied to a pew while she watches Gordon and Leslie in her wedding dress and everyone aiming their guns at her. She wakes up from the nightmare, where she receives a wrapped gift from Galavan. Galavan then tells Barbara that it's time to develop his plan for Bruce and gives her permission to kill Gordon.

Gordon tries to explain to Captain Barnes that the escape from Arkham Asylum, the massacre at GCPD, and the gala shooting were organised by Galavan. Barnes is skeptical and demands proof. Barbara then appears at the GCPD and turns herself in. During the interrogation, Barbara breaks into tears and Gordon persuades her by kissing her while Leslie, Barnes and Bullock watch from behind the two-way mirror. Barbara leads Gordon and Bullock to a location but, as they suspected, it's an ambush, and their car is hit by a truck. There's a firefight between the strike squad shadowing them and Galavan's henchmen, and Gordon's taken hostage.

Meanwhile, Nygma buries Kringle's body in the woods. Soon, a hunter runs across him and accidentally finds Kringle's corpse, forcing Nygma to kill him and bury him too. Galavan meets with Bruce in his penthouse and makes a deal with him: in exchange for Bruce selling Wayne Enterprises to Galavan, Galavan will give him the information on the man who killed his parents. Gordon wakes up in Gotham Cathedral, tied to a chair, wearing a tuxedo, in the presence of a priest and with many hostages in the pews. Barbara appears, in her wedding dress and with sawed-off shotgun in hand. While Barbara confronts Gordon, Tabitha brings in Leslie, tied to a wheelchair. Gordon gets Barbara to reveal the location of Mayor James on China Dock.

Bullock, listening to a tape of Barbara and Jim's conversation before the ambush, realizes the location of Gordon and Leslie and tells Barnes. Barbara tries to tear Jim and Leslie apart by telling Leslie about the assassination of Odgen Barker he committed as a favour to Cobblepot, but Leslie already knew as Gordon had told her. Gordon frees himself and gets Barbara's gun. Tabitha and her crew arrive, but Gordon kills her crew and injures her in the shoulder. The police arrive and Barbara escapes to the organ loft, where Gordon follows her. They briefly fight and Barbara crashes through the church's stained-glass window with Barbara hanging from Gordon's hand. Barbara says she loves him before she lets go of his hand and falls from the window, much to Gordon's horror.

Barbara survives the fall and is taken to the hospital. Gordon and the strike force go to the docks where they discover Mayor James and reveal Galavan's involvement. Bruce and Alfred reunite with Galavan in his penthouse to close the deal. At the last minute, Bruce declines the offer. Just then, Gordon and the strike force arrive and arrest Galavan for his involvement in Mayor James's abduction, but not before Galavan throws into the fire the information about the Waynes' killer, to Bruce's disbelief. Back in the woods, Nygma discovers Cobblepot in a camper, wounded, and asking Nygma for help.

Review:

This episode makes it seem like we’re done with Galavan and Barbara by the end of it, at least for a while, but the subsequent episodes disprove that notion, which in some ways is a pity.  I’m not a big fan of arrests of the clear-and-present bad guy in anything not being the conclusion, and this show has a tendency not to really stick to the plot it perhaps should follow.  However, within the episode itself, much of what happens goes more or less as one might wish, minus perhaps the burial interruptions that happen to Nygma, but to some extent that keeps his plot a little more interesting.  As for the Bruce plotline, having the name of his parents’ killer come up again only to not be solved is starting to become like Star Trek: Voyager dangling a return to Earth mid-series.  In other words, annoying; either leave it alone or solve it, but don’t waste time offering what won’t be at this stage of things.  Overall, I give this episode 8 out of 10.

Episode 9: A Bitter Pill to Swallow

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Tabitha arrives at a bar where she enters an underground illegal casino run by a woman known as The Lady. Tabitha offers money in exchange for killing Gordon after the arrest of Galavan. Gordon is notified in the hospital that Barbara will survive and be transferred to Arkham Asylum. Elsewhere, Cobblepot wakes up in Nygma's apartment. When he begins to panic, Nygma sedates him to sleep again.

Bruce tries to get the information about his parents' killer from Silver, but is stopped by Alfred, who asks Silver to leave. Silver gives Bruce her hotel key. Lee and Gordon's relationship gets tense after Lee watched Gordon kiss Barbara during the interrogation. While in the elevator to Galavan's penthouse, Gordon is attacked by a hitman, Billy Boy (Jon Sklaroff), but he manages to defeat him. Finding out that he failed, The Lady sends more hitmen to kill Gordon.

When Billy Boy regains consciousness, Gordon asks him who sent him. When Billy doesn't reveal anything, Gordon nearly throws him from the penthouse until he is stopped by Barnes. While Barnes chastises Gordon, hitmen arrive at the penthouse. The unarmed forensics officer, standing guard at the door, is killed by a hitman entering from the stairs. The hitmen enter the penthouse and a gun battle begins. The officers appear to kill all of the hitmen, but in the chaos, Billy Boy frees himself and takes Officer Parks hostage. Gordon shoots him in the eye, using his round glasses frame as a bullseye. Gordon and Barnes discover a hidden monk's cassock of Galavan's, but, before they can investigate its meaning, an only injured hitman regains consciousness and stabs Barnes in the leg, prompting Barnes to shoot him in the stomach. The Lady then sends another hitman, Eduardo Flamingo to kill Gordon.

Cobblepot wakes up again and tries to leave, but Nygma prevents him from doing so, stating he's a wanted man for the attempted murder of Galavan. Cobblepot begins to feel guilty after having failed to protect his mother. Nygma tries to help him by offering him a captured associate of Galavan, Leonard, to kill, as retaliation for the murder of his mother. Cobblepot refuses and sobs in the bed. They bond together over the respective deaths of their loved ones. Nygma says having no one whom they love makes them free, because they cannot be threatened. They decide to have fun with Leonard.

The police officers arrive but they're killed by Flamingo. Gordon, seeing this on the closed-circuit TV, goes down to the street below, and is attacked by Flamingo. Although Flamingo gets the upper hand, Gordon defeats him. Gordon can't make himself kill Flamingo and arrests him. However, at the GCPD, Flamingo bites Parks' neck and she later dies from blood loss. Selina visits Bruce and convinces him she has enough proof about Silver. Tabitha visits Galavan in jail, where Galavan expresses his anger for hiring hitmen, when he expressly told her to do nothing, and states that if she does it again, he'll kill her. Later that night, the religious sect of the Galavans arrive in Gotham City where they're greeted by Father Creel. They then kill a patrol officer when he sees them and begin to advance to Gotham City.

Review:

This episode is a decent one for James Gordon, but the other plot threads feel a bit like filler here.  As a result, Ben McKenzie and Michael Chiklis end up having to really carry this episode, and luckily, they do so fairly well.  It’s just unfortunate that the show isn’t maintaining all of its plot threads well all at once.  Not much to really say about it, which I feel is getting par for the course this season.  As such I give this one 7 out of 10.

Episode 10: The Son of Gotham

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

After Officer Parks' funeral, Gordon visits Galavan in Blackgate Penitentiary and says he will see him in court the next day. He later tells Leslie he worries Galavan will get off, and maybe he made a mistake not killing Eduardo Flamingo and avoiding Parks' death. Meanwhile, the Order of Saint Dumas kills a thug in a ritual, saying it's part of "cleansing Gotham."

Gordon and Bullock arrive at a Chinese massage parlour where an attack perpetuated by the Order of Saint Dumas took place. Gordon is attacked by a member of the Order but before he can question him about Galavan, the member commits suicide by stepping in front of a truck. Gordon and Bullock get a tip and go to the sewers where they discover evidence of the rituals and the eight murders the Order has already committed. They're attacked by another member, but they overpower him and when he wakes up, they impersonate other members of the order, and he reveals "the son of Gotham will die and the city shall be cleansed". Leslie notices Kringle's absence, so Nygma is forced to lie to her by telling her that Kringle left Gotham with Dougherty.

During the trial, Mayor James changes his testimony and says Galavan didn't kidnap him and instead frames Cobblepot. Without the mayor's testimony and with no further proof, Galavan is released. When Galavan tries to look friendly to Gordon and the public, Gordon punches him and is escorted away by police. The policemen turn out to be Galavan's henchmen and they taser Gordon. Gordon wakes up at the docks where Galavan tells him his family's history and that their surname used to be Dumas. Galavan releases Gordon and fights with him, with Galavan gaining the upper hand. He then leaves and orders his men to kill Gordon, but Gordon is saved by Cobblepot.

Selina tells Bruce that Silver shouldn't be trusted and that she has a plan. After Bruce receives a call from Silver, saying that her uncle told her who killed her parents, Bruce and Silver are kidnapped by a criminal, Tom "The Knife". They're brought to an abandoned warehouse in the outskirts of Gotham City, and Tom says he wants to know the Waynes' killer for his "employers". He wants to know everything Galavan knows and threatens to torture them unless they tell him. When Bruce is threatened, Silver reveals she doesn't know the name and was just faking everything to Bruce. Bruce is tortured and when Tom returns, Silver reveals her true colours. When Tom threatens her, Silver reveals the killer's name is "M. Malone". Bruce and Selina appear, Tom was paid by them and everything was a façade to get the name and expose Silver's lies. Selina found Bruce's file in her house and enough proof about Silver luring Bruce to sell Wayne Enterprises to Galavan. Silver reveals she just faked the name while being threatened, but Bruce has had enough. They leave Silver alone in the warehouse.

Alfred, who didn't know about Bruce's plan, goes to the Galavan penthouse, looking for him. Tabitha denies everything and Alfred threatens her. Tabitha and Alfred then engage in a fight, and even though Tabitha gets the upper hand, Alfred overpowers her and knocks her unconscious, but gets wounded in the process. As he is leaving the building, Tabitha throws a knife in his back and he escapes in a dump-truck. Galavan breaks into Wayne Manor and while talking to Bruce, he takes out a blade, planning to kill him.

Review:

So, two episodes after we thought Galavan was done, he manages to get loose and everything turns sour, which in some ways is a poor ending to an episode that was brilliant for Bruce Wayne.  Mostly this is because we get to see him act a bit more like the Batman here, setting up Silver to spill the information he wanted, and we even get a cool name-drop for those who know about Bruce’s other identities that he developed in the comics for undercover work.  I’ll be curious to see in later episodes if we get any other mentions of Matches Malone, or if this will be a one-time event.  Everything else in the episode is mostly set-up for the mid-season climax, so again not the best episode, but the improved use of Bruce easily gets this to 8 out of 10.

Episode 11: Worse Than a Crime

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Alfred finds himself in a junkyard, hiding from Tabitha and her crew. Lucius Fox, having fixed Thomas Wayne's computer, arrives at Wayne Manor but Bruce is nowhere to be found. Bruce is brought to Theo Galavan's penthouse where Theo and Father Creel tell him about the final sacrifice: Bruce himself.

Gordon wakes up in Nygma's apartment where Cobblepot tells him he's now a fugitive for assaulting Theo in the courtroom and has "Wanted" posters with his face on them. Lee is shocked by Barnes ordering Gordon's arrest. Barnes questions Leslie about Gordon's whereabouts but she says she doesn't know anything. Nygma overhears and tells Leslie his location. She arrives just when Gordon, Cobblepot, and his henchmen are planning on killing Theo. Gordon tries to convince Leslie to leave Gotham City, but she reveals instead that she's pregnant.

Silver, not wanting to witness Bruce's death, makes an excuse to Theo stating she's feeling unwell. Theo thinks Silver is weak and tells her to make Bruce fall in love with her again to prove she is worthy of the Dumas' name or else be thrown out of the family. Silver visits Bruce in his cell, apologizing and blaming Theo for everything, but Bruce doesn't listen. Even though he hates her, they talk about their lives and experiences. Silver has a change of mind and tries to help Bruce escape, but their attempts are thwarted by Theo, and they're both jailed.

Alfred tries to hitchhike, but he's arrested for trying to take a man's car. While talking with Barnes and Bullock, Fox tries to tell them Theo is behind Bruce's disappearance, but Barnes points out that Alfred broke into Theo's penthouse, so that it could be claimed that Tabitha was just defending her home without further proof. Nygma reveals Gordon's location to Fox, Alfred, and Bullock.

Just when Gordon and Leslie are saying goodbye to Penguin, and getting ready to leave Gotham, Alfred, Bullock, and Fox appear and convince him to help them find Bruce. They, alongside Cobblepot and Selina, head to Bruce's location. Bruce, knowing about Silver's motivations for trying to get him to love her, kisses her in front of Theo and forgives her. Bruce is then tied to a stake, where Father Creel prepares to kill him. Gordon and Cobblepot arrive with their henchmen and they engage in a fight with the Order. When Father Creel tries to attack Gordon, Bullock kills him. Selina and Alfred release Bruce.

Theo and Tabitha try to escape using parachutes. Before they go, Theo expresses his disappointment in Silver and appears as though he might kill her, but instead is knocked unconscious by Tabitha, saying she is tired of Theo's bullying. The women escape using the parachutes but leave Theo in the penthouse. Gordon arrives and arrests Theo. Barnes arrives and arrests both Theo and Gordon. Cobblepot arrives and knocks out Barnes. He convinces Gordon that Theo won't ever be convicted for his crimes and needs to be killed. They go to the docks where Cobblepot slowly beats Theo to death with a baseball bat before Gordon puts him out of his misery and shoots him dead. The next day, Gordon meets with Leslie in a park and he proposes to her. Theo's corpse is brought to Indian Hill where scientists state his body will be experimented on by Hugo Strange. In the background, Fish Mooney's corpse is seen.

In the final scene, a man flees from someone and hides behind a dumpster. The follower finds him, revealed to be Mr. Freeze and freezes the man with his cold gun.

Review:

This episode finally delivers a conclusion of the Galavan-Dumas plot, but after having had a false ending back in episode 8 of this season, this felt slightly anti-climactic.  It also doesn’t help that Galavan’s body has been retrieved by Hugo Strange, so that adds to the anti-climactic nature of things.  The episode doesn’t disappoint for action or stakes, at least, but when it comes to resolving things well, it could do with learning from things like the CSI franchise.  As it is, I can only offer up a quick 7 out of 10.

Episode 12: Mr. Freeze

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Having killed Galavan, Gordon attends a hearing presided over by Harvey Dent and Captain Barnes. Gordon denies involvement in Galavan's murder, claiming Cobblepot was the one who did it. They exonerate him of the charges and reinstate him to the GCPD. It's also revealed that Cobblepot's henchmen have abandoned him after the murder. Butch has now become the boss of organized crime in Gotham and receives a visit from Tabitha, who suggests they work together, which culminates in a kiss, watched by Selina. Meanwhile, in the streets, an officer catches a man hiding a corpse in his trunk. When she tries to arrest him, the man, Victor Fries freezes her with his gun.

Gordon returns to the GCPD where he and Bullock investigate the killing spree of Fries. While Nygma performs a test on the cryogenics, he deduces the killer uses supercooled liquid helium. After Bullock leaves, Gordon questions Nygma about Cobblepot living in his apartment, and Nygma states he rescued an injured man, believed he had gone straight, and was fooled by Penguin. Barnes then arrives, having captured Cobblepot. During his testimony, both Cobblepot's and Gordon's recount matches so Barnes ends up convinced. Cobblepot is then sent to Arkham Asylum after claiming he is "insane".

Fries arrives at his apartment, where his wife, Nora is suffering from illness. He works in his basement, which contains frozen people he is experimenting on, in an attempt to freeze Nora until a cure is found. He attempts a reanimation on a test subject, using heat. It initially works but then the corpse begins disintegrating. When Nora runs out of medicine, Victor goes to the pharmacy. The pharmacist refuses to give him the medicine without a prescription. Victor later returns for the medicine with his suit and weapon and freezes the pharmacist and the security guard. The GCPD arrive but Victor escapes with the pharmacist's body.

The GCPD finds Nora Fries' prescription bottle in the pharmacy and they bust into the Fries house. By that time, Victor has escaped and Nora had found his basement laboratory, shocked by the experiments her husband had been performing. The police take her into custody as Victor watches in horror. She's then questioned about Victor's activities and is threatened with jail but she refuses to betray him. In Arkham, Cobblepot is taunted by the prisoners after claiming he's the "King of Gotham". He's then sent to therapy with head psychiatrist Dr Hugo Strange, who details his plans to send Cobblepot through many "treatment" programs in Arkham. As he returns to his cell, Cobblepot discovers Strange's patient, Nigel has had his own eyes plucked out after Strange's suggestive words; "See no evil, do no evil", but whether Nigel removed them himself or not is unclear.

Victor, unwilling to let Nora go to prison, decides to turn himself in to the GCPD. As he waits, Nygma views the pharmacist's body in the morgue and then leaves for a moment. When he returns, the pharmacist is gone. The pharmacist then walks through the GCPD, alive. He then collapses to the floor as he recognizes Victor. Victor is surprised to see his latest experiment has worked and escapes, planning to continue helping Nora with a cure. In the final scene, Dr Strange enters into a secret elevator in Arkham which takes him to the Indian Hill labs. An employee, Ethel Peabody, adds that Bridgit Pike is still alive and refusing to cooperate with them. She tells him about that Fries appears to have succeeded in his experiments, which surprises Strange. As she hands him a newspaper, the media has now given Fries a new name: Mr. Freeze.

Review:

Finally, we get an episode with a lot of quality, and I’m not on about the aftermath of all things Galavan that took more of the episode than I think it should have done to wrap up.  No, the quality here lies in the introduction of Victor Fries, which finally gives us another real Batman rogue to see developed in the show.  It’s interesting to watch Victor at a stage when Nora is around and he’s yet to have the incident that turns him into Mr Freeze.  Now granted, we have also seen Hugo Strange start to show up more and more in the show, but I often feel he’s relatively second-string compared to the Batman foes.  This is largely because Strange is just himself whereas Freeze and many of Batman’s other foes match the dark knight by having different personas.  Hopefully this is the start of better things to come.  Overall, I give this episode 9 out of 10.

[phantom-le6]

Ramble of the month December 2024: Poirot fan-cast Part 2 of 4

To wrap up this year’s monthly rambles, we’re heading back to my Poirot fan-cast to cover the next run of films within the overall series.  To remind of everyone of the key points from my October 2024 ramble that started off the fan-cast, here’s a quick bullet-point summary;

Agatha Christie wrote 66 novels and 14 short story collections, most of which centred on either former Belgian policeman-turned-private detective Hercule Poirot or elderly English spinster sleuth Jane Marple.

Within in this run of literature, Poirot had 33 novels to Miss Marple’s 14, most of which remain un-adapted to film while British TV and radio have done better.

The Poirot fan-cast is based on the run of BBC radio dramatizations featuring John Moffat as the voice of Poirot; discounting those radio drama using other voice actors and those too short to make a decent film, this creates a 24-film run.

By starting with a first film release in 1980 and making a film every other year, this hypothetical film series would take until 2026 to complete and could include a single actor to play Poirot throughout, while also including other actors in key recurring roles.

Our initial key long-term actors are Brian Cox as Poirot, Anthony Head as Hastings and John Hurt as Inspector Japp.

Now before we dive into the second grouping of six film in this run, here’s a quick reminder of the first run of films;

1980: The Mysterious Affair at Styles

1982: The Murder on the Links

1984: The Murder of Roger Ackroyd

1986: Peril at End House

1988: Lord Edgeware Dies

1990: Murder on the Orient Express

With all the summaries and catch-ups out of the way, let’s look at the second round of films for our Poirot-verse.  Remember that in this fan-cast I’m not specifying directors, and the films have two dates; the first for production and the second for setting.

Three Act Tragedy (1992/1928)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Mr Satterthwaite = Peter O’Toole

Sir Charles Cartwright = John Thaw

Sir Bartholomew Strange = Michael York

Hermione Lytton Gore = Patsy Kensit

Lady Mary Lytton Gore = Sylvia Sims

Captain Dacres = David Bowie

Cynthia Dacres = Caroline Munro

Angela Sutcliffe = Jacqueline Bisset

Muriel Wills/ “Anthony Astor” = Victoria Wood

Oliver Manders = David Morrissey

Reverend Babington = Eric Sykes

Mrs Babington = Shirley Anne Field

Mrs De Rushbridger = Celia Imrie

Miss Milray = Tilda Swinton

Superintendent Crossfield = Tom Wilkinson

Colonel Johnson = David Warner

Three Act Tragedy is one of a number of novels Christie did that crossed over characters from different works of hers, meaning that well before modern franchise media did such interconnectivity, Christie was already doing so.  However, in a film series like this, a little of that gets lost, but no matter.  In this case, Poirot watches from the sidelines quite a bit as Mr Satterthwaite, the sleuth from the short story collection “The Mysterious Mr Quin”, investigates a series of murders alongside his actor friend Sir Charles Cartwright.  First to be murdered is Reverend Babington, followed by Sir Charles’ childhood friend Sir Bartholomew Strange, but who among those in attendance at both murder scenes did the deeds?

With the exception of Poirot, this film is all new cast members, though it’s an all-British cast in keeping with the original novel.  Many of the actors are well known here and a few would have international appeal, such as David Bowie, who acted in films on occasion as well as being a major musician; David Warner, who had roles in Star Trek: The Next Generation and the second of the 80’s/90’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films; and Tilda Swinton, who many MCU fans will know as the Ancient One in Doctor Strange.

Death In The Clouds (1994/1929)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Inspector Japp = John Hurt

Daniel Clancy = Eric Idle

Armond Dupont = Jean-Pierre Cassel

Jean Dupont = Vincent Cassel

Norman Gale = Peter Capaldi

Jane Grey = Jenny Funnell

Madame Giselle = Fanny Ardant

Dr Bryant = Gary Oldman

James Ryder = Peter Davison

Cecily, Countess of Horbury = Joanna Lumley

Venitia Carr = Jennifer Saunders

Monsieur Fournier = Fabrice Luchini

Madeleine = Marion Cotillard

Lord Horbury = Tom Conti

Raymond Barraclough = Pete Postlethwaite

This film sees John Hurt return to reprise the role of Japp, but otherwise it’s fresh casting.  In this story, Poirot dares to chance air travel from Paris to London, and during the flight, French money lender Madame Giselle is murdered, seemingly by a blowpipe.  After some minor initial suspicions against Poirot himself, the Belgian detective combines forces with Japp and with French Sûreté officer Monsieur Fournier to determine the real killer.  This time, the cast is a mix of British and French actors, with the British contingent including such well-known figures Eric Idle of Monty Python fame, Doctor Who actor Peter Capaldi, Absolutely Fabulous headliners Joanna Lumley and Jennifer Saunders, Gary Oldman and Pete Postlethwaite.  As for the French actors, I’m sure fans of The Dark Knight Rises will recognise Talia Al Ghul actress Marion Cotillard.

The ABC Murders (1996/1930)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Captain Hastings = Anthony Head

Inspector Japp = John Hurt

Inspector Chrome = Hugh Laurie

Alexander Bonaparte Cust = Robert Llewellyn

Alice Ascher = Francesca Annis

Franz Ascher = Udo Kier

Mary Drower = Sadie Frost

Betty Barnard = Julia Sawalha

Megan Barnard = Nadia Sawalha

Donald Fraser = John Hannah

Sir Carmichael Clarke = Michael Caine

Lady Clarke = Maggie Smith

Franklin Clarke = Derek Jacobi

Thora Grey = Joely Richardson

Roger Downes = Chris Barrie

George Earlsfield = Richard E. Grant

Mary Stroud = Claire King

Hartigan = Philip Glenister

When Poirot is sent letters signed “ABC” hinting at the place and dates of impending crimes, he fears that the crimes in question will be murders, and it isn’t long before those fears are proven true.  Reunited with Captain Hastings once more, Poirot struggle to find logic in the seemingly illogical actions of an apparent serial killer.  Here again we go largely English on the cast, but with this novel a few characters offer us some variety, specifically Scotsman Donald Fraser and German Franz Asher.  In keeping with my habit of using related actors to play related characters where I can, the Sawalha sisters are cast to play the Barnard sisters, and of course there are plenty of names in the cast that are well known outside the UK in addition to in it.  Among these would be Michael Caine (Dark Knight trilogy, among many other films), Maggie Smith (The Sister Act films, Downton Abbey and many others) and Hugh Laurie (best known to US audience as TV’s House, while I know him best from British sitcom franchise Blackadder).

Murder in Mesopotamia (1998/1931)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Nurse Amy Leatheran = Julia Ormond

Dr Eric Leidner = Stellan Skarsgård

Louise Leidner = Maureen McCormick

Richard Carey = Kenneth Branagh

Anne Johnson = Annie Hulley

Joseph Mercado = Antonio Banderas

Marie Mercado = Salma Hayek

David Emmott = Matt Damon

Bill Coleman = Michael Sheen

Carl Reiter = Til Schweiger

Father Lavigny = Vincent Lindon

Dr Reilly = Eamon Morrissey

Shiela Reilly = Kate Beckinsale

Captain Maitland = Richard Briers

Ali Yusuf = Art Malik

When Nurse Amy Leatheran is employed to look after the seemingly neurotic wife of a famous Swedish-American archaeologist, she learns the woman is facing possible death threats from her supposedly deceased first husband.  Not long after, Mrs Leidner is found murdered in seemingly impossible circumstances, and when the local authorities, led by Captain Maitland, are stumped, it is lucky that Hercule Poirot is in the vicinity.  This film takes Poirot away from the usual support characters of Japp and Hastings in favour of a more international setting and cast, the latter giving the film a greater chance at making good money abroad.  In addition, we get an interesting mix of actors into the bargain, most of whom are doubtless well known to many of us.  This film also marks the first of a few ventures abroad that aren’t limited to Europe within the Christie universe.

Cards on the Table (2000/1932)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Ariadne Oliver = Zoë Wanamaker

Colonel Race = Bernard Hill

Superintendent Battle = Bob Hoskins

Mr Shaitana = Ben Kingsley

Dr Geoffrey Roberts = Nigel Planer

Mrs Lorimer = Valerie Leon

Major John Despard = Jason Flemyng

Anne Meredith = Gabrielle Anwar

Rhoda Dawes = Chloë Annett

Mrs Luxmore = Samantha Beckinsale

Prof. Luxmore = Alfred Molina

Mrs Craddock = Mary Tamm

Mr Craddock = Robert Powell

Mrs Benson = Susan Hampshire

Gerald Hemmingway = Ioan Gruffudd

Cards on the Table marks the first appearance of Ariadne Oliver, a character who seems to be at least partially an analogue of Agatha Christie herself within the Poirot series, and here I’ve opted to go with the same casting used by ITV’s Poirot drama series.  As a result, this film includes Zoë Wanamaker in the role of Mrs Oliver as she joins Poirot and others for dinner and a game of Bridge at the home of Mr Shaitana, a man who claims to have “collected” the best murderers.  As a result, his guests comprise four “sleuths” (Poirot, Oliver, army officer Colonel Race and Police Superintendent Battle) and four “criminals” (physician Dr Geoffrey Roberts, elderly widow Mrs Lorimer, army officer Major John Despard, and young lady Anne Meredith).

By the end of the evening, one of the four “criminals” has struck and Shaitana is dead.  With no tangible clues, Poirot must work with his fellow sleuths to work out who killed their host.  Again, we’re dealing with an all-British cast, but as ever I’ve tried to not only cast the right people for the roles, but also to work in a mix of actors who are well-known outside the UK.  Bernard Hill of Lord of the Rings fame, Bob Hoskins and Ben Kingsley are among the more notable names in the cast, along with such Marvel film luminaries as Jason Flemyng (Azazel in X-Men: First Class), Alfred Molina (Doctor Octopus in Spider-Man 2 and Spider-Man: No Way Home) and Ioan Gruffudd (Mr Fantastic in the 2005-2007 Fantastic Four film run).  This film is the first of two appearances for Bernard Hill, as his character of Colonel Race makes a return appearance in the next round of Poirot films.

Dumb Witness (2002/1933)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Captain Hastings = Anthony Head

Emily Arundell = Angela Lansbury

Wilhelmina Lawson = Penelope Wilton

Ellen = Samantha Eggar

Charles Arundell = Cary Elwes

Theresa Arundell = Elizabeth Hurley

Dr Jacob Tanios = Alkis Kourkoulos

Bella Tanios = Emily Watson

Dr Grainger = David Schofield

Catherine Peabody = Judi Dench

Isabel Tripp = Pam Ferris

Julia Tripp = Barbara Flynn

Dr Rex Donaldson = Hugh Grant

George = Robert Lindsay

For the last film in this round, we find ourselves looking at the last appearance of Captain Hastings for our film run.  In novels, Hastings returned for the 1975 novel Curtain, but as that novel never became part of the BBC radio drama run I’m using as a basis for my film choices, that novel won’t be in this film run.  Also, like many Poirot fans, I don’t like what Curtain did to Poirot as a character, so the less said about it, the better.  As for Dumb Witness, this story deals with Poirot receiving a somewhat cryptic letter from an Emily Arundell over two months after it was written.  Upon investigating, Poirot finds the writer has passed away, and in the process, he begins to suspect foul play on the part of her family.

Again, we go largely British on cast, but choose from some internationally well-known actors for many of the roles, including Angela Lansbury (Jessica Fletcher from Murder, She Wrote, among other roles), Judi Dench (M in the Brosnan and Craig Bond runs), Cary Elwes (Hot Shots! and Robin Hood: Men in Tights), Elizabeth Hurley (Austin Powers franchise and Bedazzled, among other roles) and Hugh Grant (Love Actually, among others).  Fans of British sit-com My Family will also note that I’ve cast Robert Lindsay, Zoë Wanamaker’s co-star from that series, in the role of Poirot’s man-servant George.  This is another recurring role, and as this film run goes on, a few films will come up where both actors appear in the same film.

So, that’s another six films in this Poirot fan-cast covered, putting us half-way through.  In the new year, I intend to complete my run-through of my 90’s MCU, then return to this fan-cast for a third round of films, consisting of Death on the Nile, Appointment with Death, Sad Cypress, One, Two, Buckle My Shoe, Evil Under The Sun and Five Little Pigs.  A Miss Marple fan-cast and film run is also planned for next year, among other things.  So, until next time, ta-ta for now.

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Gotham: Season 2 (1 of 4)

Episode 1: Damned If You Do…

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Picking up where the last season left off, Bruce and Alfred discover a hidden staircase behind the fireplace of Thomas Wayne’s study. Upon descending the stairs, they discover a locked door with a password pad. Alfred tries to tell Bruce that there must be "millions of possibilities" for the combination, implying that they may never get any further.

One month later, Jim Gordon has been demoted to a uniform cop for the GCPD assigned to traffic duty; Bullock has retired from the force and is working in a bar; Cobblepot is now the boss of organized crime of Gotham City; and Barbara is incarcerated in Arkham Asylum. During a shift, Gordon arrests a man calling himself "Zaardon the Soul Reaper" when he wreaks havoc. Commissioner Loeb fires Gordon for shoving his partner officer for showing up late to work.

In Arkham, Jerome Valeska approaches Barbara, telling her that Richard Sionis can give her anything she wants; initially uninterested, Barbara changes her tune in order to gain access to a phone, which she uses to try and harass Gordon and Dr Leslia Thompkins. Zaardon is transferred to Arkham and a blue gas is emitted from his mouth, knocking everyone in the room unconscious. A woman and her cohorts appear at Arkham, killing the asylum guards and abducting Barbara, Jerome, Sionis, Aaron Helzinger, Robert Greenwood and Arnold Dobkins. The woman, Tabitha, brings them to her brother Theo Galavan. Galavan plans on using them as a group to wreak havoc in Gotham in a yet-unknown plan. Sionis refuses the offer and tries to leave with Barbara, but Tabitha kills him.

Gordon goes to Cobblepot, asking him for help in returning to the GCPD and firing Loeb. Cobblepot agrees in exchange for Gordon collecting a debt from Odgen Barker, who had a $70,000 debt with Falcone but thinks he forfeited it since Falcone retired. Gordon refuses and leaves. Upon reconsidering after a visit to Wayne Manor, Gordon visits Barker. Barker refuses and threatens Gordon with a gun, which prompts Gordon to attack his bodyguards. Gordon takes the money and leaves but is pursued by the bodyguards. He escapes to the parking lot where he is confronted by Barker. Gordon shoots Barker and gives the money to Cobblepot. That night, Cobblepot and Victor Zsasz sneak into Loeb's home and blackmail him. Loeb quits the GCPD and names Sarah Essen the new Commissioner, who in turn reinstates Gordon. Gordon tells Lee about what he did for Cobblepot later.

Bruce decides to create a homemade fertilizer bomb to open the door, initially to Alfred's shock, but he soon decides to aid Bruce to try and keep him safe. The two blow up the door to reveal a study room and a computer. Bruce finds a note where his father tells him that he suspected there was corruption in Wayne Enterprises and how he became paranoid. He also tells him not to search further as the truth found in the computer will change his life, unless Bruce feels a true calling that requires him to forsake happiness for truth.

Review:

It’s taken me a while to sit down and get these episodes reviewed after watching them again, not least among those reasons being the over-repetition of plot points from season 1 in this opening episode.  Jim Gordon losing his job and having to go to distasteful lengths to get it back was already done in season 1, so why is it being re-hashed here?  Surely the writers could have found another way to remove Loeb without making Jim go through the same cycle he’s been through at least before already.  Even as we get some new stuff with the introduction of the Galavan siblings and the Bruce side of things continues to progress, we’re getting repetition to the point of stagnation with Jim Gordon.  It makes it seem like the show was suddenly hesitant about doing serialised story-telling and were displaying the lack-lustre memory of episodic television.

Given this, and even factoring in progression for Penguin and, to a lesser degree, Nygma, I think this is far from the best opening to season 2 that we could have had, and as such it’s a long way from any kind of a top score.  Indeed, I would give this just 6 out of 10 because I’m just that fed up with the show’s scattershot consistency in this instance.

Episode 2: Knock, Knock

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Having kidnapped Mayor James and locked him with a metal box from the neck up, Galavan makes him call his secretary and tell her that he ran away with a woman. Meanwhile, on the rooftops of the editorial Gotham Gazette building, Jerome and many other group members kill a number of people and drop them from the rooftop so their corpses can form the word of their group: "Maniax!".

At the GCPD, Commissioner Essen gives orders to arrest the Maniax with Gordon leading the investigation. In Wayne Manor, Bruce decides to turn on the computer so he can know his father's secret. When the computer seems to work, Alfred smashes the computer, claiming that the contents of the computer likely led to his father’s death and he wants Bruce to avoid the same fate. Angered, Bruce fires him.

Tensions begin to arise between Jerome and Robert Greenwood about the leadership of The Maniax. Gordon tries to get Bullock back into the GCPD but his fiancée Scottie is against his wishes as she fears for his life. The Maniax hijack a bus filled with cheerleaders, planning to burn it down. The police arrives and when Jerome escapes, Dobkins turns on the fire but Gordon manages to drive the bus away from the fire. He then arrests Dobkins and upon questioning him about who hired them, Tabitha kills Dobkins with a sniper rifle at distance. Bruce finds Alfred at the train station, telling him he regrets what happened and re-hires him, agreeing to follow Alfred’s instructions in training on the condition that Alfred fix the computer. Alfred then asks Lucius Fox to fix the computer.

At the GCPD, Gordon receives a call from Barbara, who turns out to be in the building. Gordon follows her to an alley but is attacked by Helzinger and is then taunted by Barbara about something happening back at the GCPD. Meanwhile, the Maniax arrive dressed as cops and massacre nearly everyone in the police building. Lee survives by hiding in her lab while Nygma saves Kringle from a gunshot. Jerome begins taunting Essen while tied up, killing Greenwood for stealing his lines.

Gordon returns to the GCPD and discovers the massacre. He then finds Essen bleeding and stays with her when she dies. Bruce visits Gordon at the GCPD, wanting to make sure he's okay. Bullock decides to return to the GCPD despite his fiancée's warning. The episode ends when Gordon and Bullock watch a videotape showing Jerome moments before fleeing the building, stating "they have not seen anything yet".

Review:

Here, we get a much stronger instalment as we let everyone progress down their various narrative paths without any pointless backward steps like we had before.  It’s almost perfect, but there are still flaws.  First, Bruce firing Alfred; has anyone explained to Bruce that as a child, while he may be able to sack Alfred from being his butler, he has no such authority to do so in regards to Alfred’s legal guardianship.  This kind of action works when Bruce is an adult, but as a child, he cannot be left without someone to act as his day-to-day carer, so the whole thing falls flat in the end.  Frankly, it’s shocking the writers failed to consider this, and begs questions regarding their own parental fitness if they honestly thought this was an acceptable plot point.

Second, the Maniax group lacks enough in the way of recognisable villains to really getting excited about, which doubtless accounts for why they quickly lose members.  Considering the first half of this season is called “Rise of the Villains”, I’m not seeing much of a real rise so far, but hopefully later episodes will compensate for this.  Overall, I give this episode 8 out of 10.

Episode 3: The Last Laugh

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

With the GCPD recovering from the massacre and death of Commissioner Sarah Essen, Gordon and Bullock start questioning people on the street for info on Jerome. They decide to go to Jerome's father, Paul Cicero, to see if he knows where his son is. Jerome and Tabitha have already captured Paul in his own apartment, and when Jerome asks for his future, Paul states that he'll be a curse upon Gotham and that his legacy will be death and madness. Jerome kills his dad, and when Gordon and Bullock get there, the same sleeping gas used in the season’s first episode knocks out Bullock and Gordon is kicked in the face by Tabitha, allowing her and Jerome to escape.

Elsewhere, Theo Galavan reveals the next stage of his plan as Barbara makes out with Tabitha. Theo states that his family built Gotham and that he will get revenge on those who stole the credit for doing so. Bruce and Alfred attend the Gotham Children's Hospital Gala and run into Leslie. Having no idea Leslie is in a relationship with Jim, Alfred flirts with her. Bruce later encounters Selina, who claims she is "working”. As part of Theo's plan, Jerome and Barbara disguise themselves and take over the show. Leslie recognizes Barbara when her mask slips off and tries to call Jim, but is kidnapped by one of Theo's henchmen.

When assistant Deputy Mayor Kane is called to the stage, Jerome throws a knife to his chest and reveals himself and Barbara, holding everyone hostage. Theo comes and tries playing hero, demanding that Jerome and Barbara stop, until Barbara pretends to knock him out with a mallet. As Bruce and Selina are about to leave, Bruce tells Selina he misses her, and goes back to save Alfred.

While Jerome is terrifying the hostages, Barbara ties Leslie to a spinning wheel, taunting her about how she and Jim will get back together in a year, and will tell their grandchildren that a "man-eating harpy" almost tore them apart. Leslie kicks Barbara in the crotch, and in retaliation, Barbara tries to stab Leslie, but Jerome stops her.

Jerome threatens to kill Alfred unless Bruce gets on the stage. Unwilling to let his only family die, Bruce gets on the stage, and Jerome holds a knife to his neck until Jim and Alfred start shooting the henchmen. Jerome tries to kill Bruce but Theo regains consciousness and stabs Jerome in the neck, killing him and making Theo look like a hero in front of the camera. Barbara escapes through a trap door on the stage.

Bullock confronts Penguin about the rumours circulating that Jim did a favour for him, but Penguin denies it. Bullock tells the self-proclaimed "King of Gotham" that he still sees Penguin as the umbrella boy he and Jim first met, and threatens to beat him if he goes after Jim again, and he still wants revenge for Fish's death. Alfred tries to flirt with Leslie again only for him to realize that she is with Jim, much to Alfred's disappointment. Alfred then gets annoyed at Bruce, thinking he knew, which Bruce denies.

Back at their hideout, Barbara kisses Theo on the cheek, while Tabitha watches with jealousy. Although Jerome is dead, people are still amazed at his sadistic and clever nature, and it gets to the point where people start committing homicidal acts of their own, proving Cicero's prediction true. The last shot shows Jerome's smiling corpse with the echoing of his laugh in the background.

Review:

As the show hasn’t established any kind of metahuman ability for Jerome and doesn’t give any tech explanation for the final scene of the episode, this is another episode that has to be marked down for writer stupidity.  Just because someone is made and has a certain laugh is not going to randomly make a bunch of people who saw them on TV go out and start being just as mad.  For all that Jerome is supposed to be a kind of proto-Joker equivalent, this part of the episode just smacks of trying too hard to get that across without working out all the details properly.  As such, despite this being an otherwise good episode, I’m marking this one down as 7 out of 10.

Episode 4: Strike Force

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Nathaniel Barnes, the new captain of the GCPD, arrives with the goal of cleaning up the police department and the city's corruption. With the help of Gordon, whom he makes his new second-in-command, Barnes recruits several aspiring police trainees from the Police Academy in order to form an alpha team strike force to help set his goal into motion.

With Mayor Aubrey James still missing from the public and Deputy Mayor Harrison Kane dead, Councillor Janice Caulfield and teamster boss Randall Hobbs begin to run for office as a new mayor election begins. Theo Galavan kidnaps Cobblepot's mother and blackmails Cobblepot into murdering both of the candidates so that Theo can run for office unchallenged. After Cobblepot kills Janice Caulfield, Randall Hobbs escapes death at the hands of Victor Zsasz with the help of the GCPD strike force.

When Selina Kyle begins looking for Bruce at his prep school, she is warned by Alfred to stay away from Bruce after what she did to Reggie. Shortly afterwards, Bruce meets with Theo to thank him for saving his life. During the meeting, Bruce has an encounter with Theo's niece, Silver St. Cloud, and is informed by Galavan that Cloud will be attending his school. After agreeing to go on a date with Edward Nygma, Kristen Kringle and Nygma bond in a romantic encounter. Gordon attempts to confront Cobblepot about the killings but Cobblepot reminds him of the killing he has done while working for him and drives him away.

As Cobblepot begins to have Butch Gilzean search for the location of his mother, Captain Nathaniel Barnes informs the strike force that Cobblepot will be their next target.

Review:

This episode brings in Michael Chiklis, who I knew of prior to this show mainly as Ben Grimm from Fox’ initial efforts at making Fantastic Four movies.  He’s a welcome addition to the cast at this point, as this episode marks a sudden shift in the show’s quality and consistency.  Not only do events progress at good pace and with a suitable level of action and drama, but there is also a decided lack of pointless repetition, poor plot points or trying to over-sell any characters.  We also get the introduction of Silver St Cloud, one of Bruce’s more notable romantic interests from the comics lore as I understand it.  Overall, I’m inclined to impart a score of 9 out of 10 this time.

Episode 5: Scarification

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Cobblepot and Butch bring a chest to Galavan in his penthouse, revealing a kidnapped Sid Bunderslaw, where Tabitha removes one of his eyes. Cobblepot also attempts to convince Galavan to release his mother, but Galavan refuses, preferring to retain leverage over Cobblepot to keep using him as a tool.

Meanwhile, the GCPD Strike Force, led by Captain Barnes and Gordon, busts one of Cobblepot's money laundering houses, where they're nearly killed by a man with a rocket-propelled grenade. Galavan arrives at the GCPD, where he offers help in cleaning the GCPD's corruption in exchange for support in his candidacy. Gordon gently refuses, claiming the police and politics don't match. Tabitha visits Cobblepot to discuss their next move, which requires hiring arsonists.

Butch contacts Selina, who puts him in contact with a group of arsonists, the Pike Brothers: Joe, Cale and Evan, who are still loyal to Fish Mooney. They visit them, hiring them to work for Galavan and Cobblepot. Selina also discovers they abuse of their supposed sister, Bridgit, a friend from her childhood. Evan goes to a market to buy equipment but the place is raided by the GCPD as he shop-lifts explosives he can’t afford. He tries to escape, climbing a chainlink fence but Gordon stops him. When he tries to reach for his gun, he is gunned down by Gordon, and is also blown up as Gordon’s gunfire ignites the explosives hidden in Evan’s pants. Nygma invites Gordon and Lee for a double date with him and Kringle, although Gordon is hesitant.

After Evan's death, the Pike brothers force Bridgit to take Evan's position, threatening to turn her out of their home. They make Bridgit infiltrate a Wayne Enterprises building where, using Bunderslaw's eye, opens a vault containing an ancient knife. Cobblepot later contacts the owner of an antique shop, Edwige, to tell him the truth about the knife. She reveals that in the 19th century, five families ruled the high council of Gotham: Elliot, Kane, Crown, Dumas and the Waynes. During a party, Caleb Dumas allegedly abused Celestine Wayne. Part of his arm was then cut for punishment by Celestine's brother, Jonathan with the same knife the Pikes have just stolen. The Dumas were then exiled to a religious sect, their properties claimed by the Waynes, erasing them from history and forcing the Dumas family to change their surname to Galavan. Cobblepot then formulates a facade with Butch to fake allegiance with Galavan for thinking Cobblepot is conspiring with him, and to make it work, Cobblepot cuts off Butch's hand.

Gordon and Bullock ambush Bridgit on a would-be robbery, where her brothers abandon her. While she tries to back off, officer Luke Garrett tries to restrain her, but she accidentally burns him down. She escapes with Selina but Officer Garrett later dies from the fire. Galavan again visits the GCPD, where Gordon decides to support on his candidacy. In his penthouse, Galavan is visited by Father Creel, who hands him the knife, claiming his warriors are on the way, and Bruce Wayne will die.

Review:

A decent episode, but once again one that falls short of the greatness it could achieve because it’s not quite delivering on the villain’s front.  More specifically, we come to a point in the series where we get to introduce Firefly, only it isn’t the male original from the source material.  Instead, we find ourselves starting out with a random new female character starting the mantle.  Now normally, creating a new character is something I have no problem with and even encourage, and if the show was doing this for a second Firefly down the line after the original, Garfield Lynns, had been and gone from the show, I’d be cool with it.  In that scenario, it could be a simple matter of a mantle hand-down or theft between the original and the new-comer.  Instead, the show completely skips over the original, and that’s something I can’t abide.  If you have to do that, at least give the new character an identity all her own and save Firefly for when you’ve got someone lined up who can play the Garfield Lynns version.

On the plus side, the developing story around the Galavans does nicely develop in that it starts to bring in the idea of the Order of St Dumas, tying into mid-90’s Batman lore when the comics introduced the original version of Azrael just ahead of the Knightfall arc.  I can’t remember how this played out for the remainder of the season, and since the show is pre-Batman, I’m guessing we never get anything more than a nod or two back to the source material, but it’s a nice touch in an episode where the show is messing up another villain.  On balance, I give this episode 7 out of 10.

Episode 6: By Fire

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

As part of their plan to get his mother back, Butch tells Theo Galavan that Cobblepot cut off his hand for thinking he betrayed him and offers to work for Galavan. Galavan initially declines, stating that his associates "have both hands". Tabitha agrees to let him join them but Barbara is sceptical, citing when Butch kidnapped her. Finally, Galavan lets Butch be part of his operation. Galavan also threatens to kill a congressman if he doesn't support him in the elections, which ends when the congressman agrees to his terms and his life is spared.

Meanwhile, the strike force, led by Gordon, catch a thug and accuse him of being the arsonist who killed Officer Garrett in the previous episode. Bridgit is having a rough time after having killed the police officer. She lives with Selina, but continues to feel guilty. Selina proposes to get money so she can leave Gotham City, and both of them steal money from a human trafficking slave-ring. During their escape, they're caught on camera, and Gordon recognizes Selina. On their way to the bus station, Bridgit is kidnapped by the Pike brothers. Selina plans on rescuing her but is found by Gordon. Selina gives the information to Gordon, but Gordon states he will take care of the situation.

Bridgit is brought back to the Pike home, where her brothers taunt her fear of fire by threatening her with firecrackers. Tired of their abuse, Bridgit kills them with a flamethrower. While looking for the whereabouts of Cobblepot's mother, Butch is discovered by Galavan and learns that he knows of his and Penguin's ruse. Galavan figures out that Oswald has a mental hold on Butch and tells Tabitha to try to beat it out of him. Selina reunites with Bridgit but realizes she's changed in her attitude and plans on taking down abusive people. Bridgit returns to the slave-ring, where she burns the captors and frees the women.

With a tip from Selina, Gordon, Barnes and the GCPD arrive at the slave-ring. Gordon tries to calm Bridgit, but she fights back. However, she accidentally catches fire while trying to defend herself. In an attempt to co-opt Bruce, Galavan proposes to help clean up the corruption in Wayne Enterprises. Butch appears to escape from the Galavans and tells Cobblepot his mother's whereabouts. Selina appears at Leslie and Gordon's apartment and is heartbroken when Gordon tells her Bridgit won't survive her injuries.

Nygma reveals to Kringle during a visit that he accidentally killed her ex-boyfriend, Dougherty. When she tries to leave and tell someone, he holds her and tries to keep her from screaming, but he unknowingly strangles her, and she dies in his arms, leaving him shouting and crying in grief.

In an underground facility of a division of Wayne Enterprises, Bridgit, still alive, is brought to Indian Hill labs where scientists appear to be experimenting on human beings.

Review:

With this episode, we get what initially appears to be the end of the mis-steps around Firefly, and yet even as the episode ends with indications that she’ll live, it saves us from complete disappointment by shedding the first sliver of light on Indian Hill since it was mentioned in the first season.  I’m also not wild about Nygma murdering Kringle, given that despite a penchant for death traps, the Riddler’s never struck me as a truly homicidal kind of character in the Batman lore I’ve read.  Personally, I’d rather have seen Nygma try to mentally manipulate Kringle into becoming partner in crime to his emerging Riddler persona, as that would be a little more in keeping with the Riddler as I think of the character.  As it is, I give this episode a score of 8 out of 10 and hope for better things in the next round of episodes.

[phantom-le6]

Ramble of the month November 2024: 90’s MCU phase 8 – Secret Invasion, Fatal Attractions and the penultimate phase of the 90’s MCU

Once again, we’re going into my alternate MCU that begins in the 1990’s but is rapidly catching up to our present day.  In fact, the latest phase will cover from 2020 through to 2023.  For those new to my Tumblr page who perhaps haven’t read any of my rambles on this subject, and for those who may just need a refresher, here’s a quick over-view of the underlying premise.  This is a hypothetical MCU slate, complete with fan-casting, which I’ve done both for fun and to show up the flaws in 90’s MCU memes.  What are those flaws?  Very simply, if the MCU had begun in the 1990’s, Marvel would have had all their film rights instead of just some, certain source material used by the real MCU would not exist and a number of characters/teams would be quite different.

With that quick summation out of the way, let’s quickly re-cap the film run for phases 1 through 6 of this hypothetical MCU.

Phase 1:

1992: Fantastic Four, Hulk, Iron Man

1993: Thor, Spider-Man, Ant-Man & The Wasp

1994: Captain America, Fantastic Four 2, Iron Man 2

1995: X-Men, Avengers, Daredevil

Phase 1 established the initial characters of our MCU, putting the Fantastic Four first and foremost to bring them in line with their comic-book counterparts before beginning to develop the Avengers, the X-Men, Spider-Man and Daredevil.

Phase 2:

1996: Spider-Man 2, Thor: Land of Enchantment, Silver Surfer

1997: Hulk vs Wolverine, Fantastic Four: Doomsday, Iron Man 3

1998: Captain America: Society of Serpents, Daredevil 2, X-Men 2

1999: Avengers 2, Spider-Man 3, Doctor Strange

Phase 2 provides expansion as not only do most heroes get solo and ensemble sequels, but other characters start to take on films of their own.  The Silver Surfer is spun off from his appearance in Fantastic Four 2 into a solo film while Doctor Strange is introduced, and we also see the first examples of the “third film loss” trope, including Stark’s loss of his business and Iron Man persona through alcoholism, Doctor Doom destroying the Baxter Building while Ben Grimm loses a chance to be human, and Peter Parker loses Gwen Stacy.

Phase 3:

2000: Fantastic Four: World War III, Thor: Ragnarök, Daredevil 3

2001: Hulk: Rise of the Leader, X-Men: Fall of the Mutants, Avengers: Under Siege

2002: Doctor Strange 2, The Captain, Spider-Man 4

2003: Captain Britain, Fantastic Four: Enter the Negative Zone, Ghost Rider

Phase 3 further put our heroes on the back foot with yet more loss, most notably assaults on the X-Mansion and Avengers Mansion, but we also see more expansion; Namor, the Black Panther and the Inhumans all get introduced via the Fantastic Four, who then go on to become a family via the birth of Franklin Richards, and both Captain Britain and Ghost Rider get added to the mix.

Phase 4:

2004: Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Secret Wars: Part I

2005: Excalibur, Defenders, Ghost Rider 2

2006: X-Factor, Secret Wars: Part II, Heroes For Hire

2007: Namor the Submariner, Doctor Strange 3, Iron Man: Enter The Mandarin

Phase 4 took us through Secret Wars, and along the way gave us a lot more characters.  Black Panther and the original, pre-Carol Danvers iteration of Captain Marvel get solo films, former X-Men become parts of spin-off teams, and we see the formation of the Defenders and a one-shot of the Heroes For Hire, not to mention a Namor solo film and the return of Tony Stark.

Phase 5:

2008: Spider-Man 5, Fantastic Four: Unthinkable, Ms Marvel

2009: Elektra, Black Panther 2, Defenders 2

2010: X-Men: Proteus, Spider-Man 6, Ant-Man 2

2011: Silver Surfer 2, Avengers vs X-Men, Ghost Rider 3

Phase 5 gave us the Black Suit saga for Spider-Man as an aftermath of Secret Wars over the web-slinger’s fifth and sixth solo films, while the Fantastic Four’s sixth film would also be their last as we began the Infinity Saga.  In turn, Carol Danvers and a resurrected Elektra gained solo films, with the former precipitating an Avengers vs X-Men clash.

Phase 6:

2012: Guardians of the Galaxy, Black Panther 3, Iron Man: The Dragon Seed Saga

2013: X-Men: Phoenix Rising, Defenders 3, Ant-Man 3

2014: X-Men: Dark Phoenix Saga, Infinity War, Blade

2015: Inhumans, Infinity War II, Deadpool

Phase 6 concluded the Infinity Saga while also removing Jean Grey and Cyclops from being active in the MCU via the Phoenix and Dark Phoenix sagas being adapted into a film duology.  We also add Blade to the MCU, and the Inhumans finally gained their own film, while several solo and group film franchises reached their third and final instalments.

Phase 7:

2016: Union Jack, Silver Surfer 3, Iron-Man/Spider-Man: Legacy

2017: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Blade 2, Ghost Rider Returns

2018: Eternals, Deadpool 2, New Avengers

2019: X-Men: Days of Future Past, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, Blade 3

Phase 7 was all about dealing with the aftermath of the Infinity Saga and beginning a set-up of Secret Wars.  At the same time, we also added some new heroes, passed on a few mantles and otherwise paved the way for phase 8, which works out as follows;

Phase 8:

2020: Wolverine: Enemy of the State, MI13, Ultimate Spider-Man

2021: Deadpool 3, Spider-Woman, Ms Marvel 2

2022: X-Men: Fatal Attractions, Venom, Great Lakes Avengers

2023: Secret Invasion, Howling Commandoes, Wolverine: Sins of the Father

As you can see, Wolverine solo films come up for the first time since Hulk vs Wolverine was done back in phase 2, and we have a mix of first films and sequels.  So, without further ado, let’s look at these films in more detail…

Wolverine: Enemy of the State (2020) Directed by Paul Greengrass

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Elektra Natchios = Leonor Varela

Nick Fury = Tommy Lee Jones

Tomi Shishido/The Gorgon = Tadanobu Asano

Elsbeth Von Strucker = Lynda Carter

Baron Von Strucker = Udo Kier

Storm/Ororo Monroe = Halle Berry

Peter Rasputin/Colossus = Henry Cavill

Rogue = Anna Paquin

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler = Daniel Brühl

Jubilee = Chloe Bennett

Emma Frost = Elizabeth Banks

Danielle Moonstar = Selena Gomez

Bishop = Winston Duke

Rachel Summers = Danielle Panabaker

Beast/Hank McCoy = Alec Baldwin

Dr Valerie Cooper = Malin Åkerman

Forge = Jimmy Smits

Steve Rogers/Captain America = Brad Pitt

Amadeus Cho/Iron Man III = Charles Melton

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel = Odeya Rush

Hawkeye II/Kate Bishop = Hailee Steinfeld

Luke Cage = Tyrese Gibson

Matt Murdock/Daredevil = Christian Slater

Paul Greengrass, director of the second, third and fifth Bourne films, is my pick to helm this film adaptation of a great solo Wolverine arc that has yet to be animated to animated series or film.  In this arc in the comics, Wolverine is killed and resurrected by the villainous ninja group known as the Hand in order to brainwash Wolverine into being a weapon for them and Hydra.  This puts Wolverine in the position of attacking a lot of his friends, and results in clashes with Elektra, owing to her history with the Hand.  It’s brilliantly done, and as such I felt it should be included in my hypothetical MCU.

At this stage, a lot of the cast has long since been around and is reprised from past films.  Honestly, only Japanese mutant and central villain The Gorgon and Baron Von Strucker’s wife are new roles.  However, that doesn’t make the cast any less packed for heavyweights in the world of acting.  Bottom line, this would be a great film to see in this MCU, and if Deadpool & Wolverine hadn’t already played some of the themes of this story out in their Wolverine, I’d enjoy seeing it used for the MCU.  As it is, I hope that X-Men ’97 can maybe build up to something like this in another season or two.

MI13 (2020) Directed by Sam Mendes

Joseph Chapman/Union Jack III = Rob Mallard

Dane Whitman/Black Knight = Ioan Gruffudd

Dr Faiza Hussain/Excalibur = Nikkita Chadha

Scott Wright/Micromax = Jack O'Connell

Harley Davis/Motormouth = Louisa Lytton

Sabra/Ruth Bat-Seraph = Gal Gadot

Navid Hashim/Arabian Knight = Marwan Kenzari

Pete Wisdom = Tom Bateman

Alistaire Stuart = David Tennant

Brian Braddock Jr./Captain Britain = Jamie Bamber

Meggan = Sienna Miller

Philip Gavin = Daniel Day-Lewis

Farouk Al-Fasaud = Navid Negahban

Batroc = Georges St-Pierre

Steven Levens/Jack O'Lantern = Duane Henry

Douglas Scott/Razorfist = Joe Manganiello

Herman Schultz/Shocker = Patrick Muldoon

Lady Deathstrike = Tao Okamoto

Joanna Cargill/Frenzy = Amanda Nunes

Titania/Mary MacPherson = Amy Christine Dumas

As a Brit, I like to work in Marvel’s UK heroes now and then for films of their own, and of those heroes, among the few I’ve not yet touched on is the concept of MI13, a team that combines British superheroes together without depending on the mutant underpinnings inherent to Marvel’s other UK-based super-term Excalibur.  However, I’ve not read anything of their lore, so our MCU gets a slightly different origin arc based on a Union Jack solo/interim team arc I read a while back.  The whole thing revolves around UJ and a team of unlikely allies saving London from a terrorist plot, so this film takes that basic plot and adds to it to make it into an MI13 origin arc.

Now we have a few reprised roles in Union Jack, Black Knight, Alistaire Stuart, Captain Britain, Meggan and all the costumes villains (Batroc on down).  The rest of the cast is new, and I know some people will question my use of two characters in particular, especially since one is already causing controversy by being used in the upcoming Captain America: Brave New World in the real MCU.  In other words, we’re on about Israeli super-agent Sabra, and her Saudi counterpart known as the Arabian Knight, largely out of Marvel’s desire to word-play on the idea of the “Arabian Nights”.

Now I’m sure anyone with any awareness of these cultures already what makes the characters so controversial, and one could argue against including them, or at least changing them like the real MCU has done.  However, being committed to showing cultures as they are where I can, I’d be taking more of an attitude of having these two characters roped in to aid British intelligence, having to co-operate when they can’t stand each other, and developing an understanding of each other as a people by the film’s end.  Their part in this film would be show that Jews and Muslims can get along if they want to and choose to.  As for the Arabian Knight’s codename, that would just be shown as a western press name for the character, who would have a more appropriate Saudi-based codename, and a modernised appearance to match the story arc being adapted.  Direction-wise, I’ve picked Sam Mendes of 1917 and Skyfall fame.

Ultimate Spider-Man (2020) Directed by Denzel Washington

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Cassandra Webb/Madame Webb = Nana Visitor

Silvija Sablinova/Silver Sable = Ivanna Sakhno

Thomas Fireheart/Puma = Martin Sensmeier

Rio Morales = Penélope Cruz

Jefferson Davis = Eriq La Salle

Ganke Lee = Jacob Batalon

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel = Odeya Rush

Ava Ayala = Cierra Ramirez

Anya Corazon = Alejandra Reynoso

Yuri Watanabe = Ally Maki

Dr Miles Warren/Jackal = Kyle MacLachlan

Kaine/Scarlet Spider = Wil Weaton

Gwen Stacy II/Ghost Spider = Reese Witherspoon

Norton G. Fester/Looter = Michael Peña

Harry Osborn = Ryan Phillipe

Liz Allen-Osborn = Alicia Silverstone

Having seen Wil Wheaton as Spider-Man over six solo films before handing over the webs to Miles Morales, this alternate MCU has then taken Miles through appearances in a Blade film and New Avengers before giving him his first true solo film.  For direction, I’ve picked Denzel Washington in part because this MCU has already used him to play Joe Robertson of Spider-Man fame, and since Denzel is both director and actor, I’d be curious to see what he could do with the Miles Morales version of Spider-Man.  Plot-wise, stopping a minor criminal threat in the form of the Looter begins to unveil the trail of villainous geneticist Miles Warren, also known as the Jackal, who is under investigation by Silver Sable on behalf of Thomas Fireheart, a CEO and super-being also known as the Puma.  Meanwhile, Madame Web has made herself known to Miles to help guide the young hero, and there are cameo appearances by Kamala Khan, as well as the Osborns.

A fair chunk of this film is about mixing some classic Spider-Man lore with the more modern takes we now get involving Miles, hence the mix of characters and elements involved.  Unlike Sony, I don’t believe in doing certain characters from Spider-Man’s universe without him, so Madame Webb is included here as a key supporting character instead of being off in her own film.  As for the inclusion of a spider-powered Gwen-clone, this is an attempt to combine her Spider-Woman persona with the cloning plots around Spider-Man and setting up some different motivations for the infamous Kaine.  Other characters are also included that will play hero roles later, but aren’t there just yet to give more time to focus on Miles developing into the Spider-Man role, including how he reacts to the more mercenary-like Silver Sable.

Deadpool 3 (2021) Directed by James Gunn

Wade Wilson/Deadpool = Ryan Reynolds

Theresa Rourke-Cassidy/Siryn = Sarah Bolger

Jamie Maddrox/Multiple Man = Zac Efron

Roberto Da Costa = Mario Lopez

Tabita Smith = Anna Faris

Arkady Rossovich/Omega Red = David Harbour

"Black Tom" Cassidy = Ciarán Hinds

Weasel = TJ Miller

Blind Al = Stockard Channing

Mister Sinister = Michael Sheen

Scalphunter = Chaske Spencer

Arclight = Lana Condor

Blockbuster = Triple H

Harpoon = Jay Tavare

Vertigo = Brie Larson

Dr Valerie Cooper = Malin Åkerman

Nathan Christopher Summers/Cable = Dennis Quaid

Domino = Morena Baccarin

James Proudstar/Warpath = Booboo Stewart

Paige Guthrie/Husk = Kelly Stables

Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane = Bonnie Wright

Banshee/Sean Cassidy = Liam Neeson

Dr Moira Mactaggert = Olivia Williams

For the third Deadpool film in our alternate MCU, I’m putting James Gunn at the helm and picking up on a plot thread that drops in the second film and that must come up for Fatal Attractions to really work well; the Legacy Virus.  Stryfe has unleashed the same illness that was unleashed in the comics, and just like in the comics, it’s a pox on the mutant population.  When some key mutants begin falling to the illness, Deadpool forms an ad-hoc team in a desperate search for a possible cure.  However, the cure requires confronting Mr Sinister and his Marauders, and for some reason, Cable and X-Force are approached to try and prevent this.  The overall idea would be a mutant-based comedy mash-up of the viral outbreak, quest adventure and political thriller genres, while at the same time helping to set up events for the Secret Invasion film.

Now for anyone disappointed in my choosing Michael Sheen over, say, Keanu Reeves to play Sinister, please bear in mind that a) Keanu already has a role in this 90’s-based MCU of mine as Mastermind, and b) Keanu is Canadian, Sheen is English, and Sinister is also a character originally from England, so safe to say that even Sheen wasn’t the fantastic actor that he is, he would still be more suited to the part than Reeves just by being the right nationality.  A pity DC couldn’t figure that out and get an English actor to play their film version of Constantine, but at least the Arrowverse and DCAMU got it right.  Anyway, back to this hypothetical MCU…

Spider-Woman (2021) Directed by Patty Jenkins

Spider-Woman/Jessica Drew = Anne Hathaway

Abigail Brand = Kristen Wiig

Dakota North = Serinda Swan

David Ishima = Yuki Matsuzaki

Lt. Sabrina Morrell = Marisa Tomei

Dr Ashley Kafka = Keri Russell

Nick Fury = Tommy Lee Jones

Viper/Ophelia Sarkissian = Rose McGowan

Dr Karl Malus = Jared Leto

Black Widow II/Yelena Belova = Florence Pugh

Andrea von Strucker = Nina Hoss

Andreas von Strucker = August Diehl

Otto Vermis = Ulrich Tukur

Jared Kurtz = Matthias Schweighöfer

High Evolutionary = Hugh Grant

Bova = Tamzin Outhwaite

Jonathan Drew (flashback) = Aaron Taylor-Johnson

Miriam Drew (flashback) = Cara Delevingne

Spider-Woman is a character that hasn’t been adapted much as yet in films or animation, or at least not the Jessica Drew original (the Julia Carpenter model was a key part of the 90’s animated series of Iron Man and was played by Sydney Sweeney at a younger age in the Madame Web film).  Looking at her origins, this isn’t surprising as they’ve been some of the most inconsistent possible, but given her importance in Secret Invasion, I felt a solo film was needed to explore her origins.  In this film, we see kid Jessica get powers as a child courtesy of the High Evolutionary, only to be orphaned by him and his parents blowing up HE’s base to prevent Hydra getting the scientist’s technology.  Later, we see Jessica almost falling in with Hydra, only to defect to SHIELD and develop a more heroic persona, followed by a present-day story against Hydra that works in characters old and new.

For direction, I went with Patty Jenkins of Wonder Woman fame because we’ve already seen in superhero films that women characters often come across better under female directors.  Spider-Woman, Fury and Viper all return from past films, but everyone else is a new addition to the casting of this MCU, and as you may notice, I’ve kept at least one real MCU casting choice, but the rest are all new for this film.

Ms Marvel 2 (2021) Directed by Chloé Zhao

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel = Odeya Rush

Nakia Bahadir = Anya Chalotra

Bruno Carrelli = Jake Cannavale

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Jusuf Khan = Sayed Badreya

Disha Khan = Nina Wadia

Jamir Khan = Tony Revolori

Michaela Miller = Sierra McCormick

Zoe Zimmer = Dove Cameron

Sheik Abdullah = Nasser Farris

Ronan The Accuser = Ray Stevenson

Lash = Benedict Cumberbatch

Hollow = David Ramsey

Sheath = Kristen Stewart

Tomoe = Naoko Mori

Kaboom = Nicola Peltz

Kamran = Timothée Chalamet

While most films with a numerical suffix will be sequels, this one isn’t, or at least not in the strictest sense.  In this film-verse, we’ve gone from a Captain Marvel solo film dedicated to the male Kree original, then gave Carol Danvers a Ms Marvel film that show-cases Rogue stealing her powers.  Having establish Kamala Khan first in an Inhumans film, then having her return for New Avengers and cameo in Ultimate Spider-Man, this film is her dedicated solo film.  In this case, she’s going up against villainous Inhumans both old (Lash, Hollow and Sheath) and new, not to mention Kree villain Ronan, all with some third-act assistance from Miles Morales (albeit not much so as to avoid stealing too much thunder from the title character).  For directors, I had a feeling this project might have been a better option for Chloé Zhao than Eternals was in the real MCU.  Sometimes a film not being as good as it could be is less about those involved being bad and more about mismatching the material with the creatives involved.

X-Men: Fatal Attractions (2022) Directed by Antoine Fuqua

Professor Charles Xavier = Patrick Stewart

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Magneto (old version) = Ian McKellan

Magneto (revitalised version) = Matthew Macfadyen

Beast/Hank McCoy = Alec Baldwin

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler = Daniel Brühl

Rogue = Anna Paquin

Remi LeBeau/Gambit = Zachary Levi

Scarlet Witch/Wanda Maximoff = Kate Beckinsale

Jubilee = Chloe Bennett

Emma Frost = Elizabeth Banks

Danielle Moonstar = Selena Gomez

Bishop = Winston Duke

Rachel Summers = Danielle Panabaker

Peter Rasputin/Colossus = Henry Cavill

Illyana Rasputin = Izabela Vidovic

Jonothan Starsmore/Chamber = Tom Holland

Hisako Ichiki/Armor = Inori Minase

Monet St Croix/M = Maitreyi Ramakrishnan

Megan Gwynn/Pixie = Alexa Davies

Neal Shaara/Thunderbird = Karan Brar

Exodus = Jean Dujardin

Spoor = Kevin McKidd

Scanner = Caity Lotz

Katu = Gil Birmingham

Joanna Cargill/Frenzy = Amanda Nunes

Fabian Cortez = Jason Flemyng

Storm/Ororo Monroe = Halle Berry

Forge = Jimmy Smits

Banshee/Sean Cassidy = Liam Neeson

Dr Moira Mactaggert = Olivia Williams

Warren Worthington III/Archangel = Neil Patrick Harris

Brian Braddock Jr./Captain Britain = Jamie Bamber

Betsy Braddock/Psylocke = Lena Headey

Meggan = Sienna Miller

Jamie Maddrox/Multiple Man = Zac Efron

Abigail Brand = Kristen Wiig

Nathan Christopher Summers/Cable = Dennis Quaid

Domino = Morena Baccarin

James Proudstar/Warpath = Booboo Stewart

Theresa Rourke-Cassidy/Siryn = Sarah Bolger

Paige Guthrie = Kelly Stables

Roberto Da Costa = Mario Lopez

Tabita Smith = Anna Faris

Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane = Bonnie Wright

At this stage of the MCU, keeping the X-Men going is tricky.  Actors I picked previously for certain roles would have died at this point (Patrick Swayze as Cyclops and Paul Walker as Cannonball), and the original Xavier and Magneto are both getting up in years.  As a result, changing some of the older actors with in-story explanations becomes part of the process.  However, when you’re dealing with a story like Fatal Attractions, having Magneto de-age himself is a minor plot thread when measured against the Legacy Virus killing Illyana, her brother’s subsequent defection to Magneto’s side, and let’s not forget the storming of Magneto’s orbital base that ends in the ripping out of Wolverine’s adamantium.

Aside from some new X-Students, the Acolytes and a younger Magneto, this film is full to the brim with returning actors for what would probably be one of the longest MCU films in this hypothetical film run, though many would largely be cameos for the funeral scene.  Directing all this would be Antoine Fuqua, who has directed the Equalizer trilogy and Olympus Has Fallen, among other projects.

Venom (2022) Directed by Shawn Levy

Eddie Brock/Venom = Wentworth Miller

Anne Weying = Michelle Williams

Cletus Kassidy/Carnage = Dan Stevens

Shriek = Evangeline Lilly

FBI Agent Patrick Mulligan = Stephen Graham

Agent Alton Clark = Leslie Odom Jr.

Agent Monica Steen = Italia Ricci

Agent Garon Lewis = Terrence Howard

Dr Ashley Kafka = Keri Russell

While giving Venom a solo film run was a good idea on Sony’s part, their execution hasn’t been all one could wish.  By comparison, my 90’s MCU introduced the symbiote via the Secret Wars films based on the 1980’s original Secret Wars comic arc that was the symbiote’s debut in comics.  We then had Spider-Man 5 and Spider-Man 6 showcase the alien costume arc, complete with Venom’s initial appearance as a Spider-Man enemy.  In this film, we’re therefore better prepared to give Venom a first solo outing because past films have us the same background to the character that we got in the comics.  The plot is largely around Brock being treated at Ravencroft, but when a new symbiote bonds with fellow Ravencroft inmate Cletus Kassidy, thereby releasing Carnage upon the world, Venom may be the only person who can stop it.

The film retains Michelle Williams and Stephen Graham from Sony’s Venom films and Wentworth Miller is back from his prior appearance in this MCU as Venom, as is Keri Russell as Dr Ashley Kafka.  Everyone else is fresh casting under director Shawn Levy.  I originally planned for Taika Waititi to be at the helm, but given his poor performance on Thor: Love and Thunder and subsequently declared lack of knowledge, fandom and preparation for directing Thor films, I have doubts regarding his ability to handle anything of an adaptational nature.  By comparison, Levy’s work on Deadpool and Wolverine is better, so I would have more confidence in his ability to get a decent horror-comedy out of the Venom character.

Great Lakes Avengers (2022) Directed by Rian Johnson

Craig Hollis/Mr Immortal = Luke Grimes

Ashley Crawford/Big Bertha = Rachel Brosnahan

Dr Val Ventura/Flatman = Chad Michael Murray

DeMarr Davis/Doorman = Jesse Williams

Dinah Soar = Ana de Armas

Doreen Green/Squirrel Girl = Paris Berelc

Maelstrom = Sam Witwer

Phaeder = Jack Coleman

Morga = Sharon Stone

Gene Lorrene/Leather Boy = Nick Gehlfuss

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel = Odeya Rush

Luke Cage = Tyrese Gibson

Hawkeye II/Kate Bishop = Hailee Steinfeld

Aside from Deadpool, only one other Marvel comic that I know of has the ability to poke some very self-aware fun at the superhero world, and that’s the Great Lakes Avengers.  Originally created in the comics at a time when the Avengers had their main comic and a West Coast Avengers spin-off, the GLA gives us a truly bizarre group of characters, and I think it would be interesting to see them hit the big screen.  Except for a few returning characters from the main Avengers group of this time, the film is all-new casting under director Rian Johnson.  In the case of this film, I specifically hunted for actors from the Great Lakes region of the US for many of the roles for added authenticity.

Secret Invasion (2023) Directed by JJ Abrams

Beast/Hank McCoy* = Alec Baldwin

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler = Daniel Brühl

Rogue = Anna Paquin

Remi LeBeau/Gambit* = Zachary Levi

Jubilee = Chloe Bennett

Emma Frost* = Elizabeth Banks

Danielle Moonstar* = Selena Gomez

Bishop = Winston Duke

Rachel Summers* = Danielle Panabaker

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Elektra Natchios* = Leonor Varela

Wade Wilson/Deadpool = Ryan Reynolds

Steve Rogers/Captain America* = Brad Pitt

Dr Stephen Strange = Johnny Depp

Simon Williams/Wonder Man = Taylor Kitsch

Carol Danvers/Warbird = Melissa Joan Hart

Luke Cage* = Tyrese Gibson

Scott Lang/Ant-Man II = Paul Rudd

Nadia Pym/Wasp II = Shailene Woodley

Spider-Woman/Jessica Drew* = Anne Hathaway

Hawkeye II/Kate Bishop* = Hailee Steinfeld

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II* = Noah Gray-Cabey

Amadeus Cho/Iron Man III* = Charles Melton

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel* = Odeya Rush

Joseph Chapman/Union Jack III = Rob Mallard

Dane Whitman/Black Knight = Ioan Gruffudd

Dr Faiza Hussain/Excalibur = Nikkita Chadha

Scott Wright/Micromax = Jack O'Connell

Harley Davis/Motormouth* = Louisa Lytton

Sabra/Ruth Bat-Seraph* = Gal Gadot

Navid Hashim/Arabian Knight = Marwan Kenzari

Nathan Christopher Summers/Cable = Dennis Quaid

Domino = Morena Baccarin

James Proudstar/Warpath* = Booboo Stewart

Theresa Rourke-Cassidy/Siryn = Sarah Bolger

Paige Guthrie = Kelly Stables

Roberto Da Costa* = Mario Lopez

Tabita Smith* = Anna Faris

Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane = Bonnie Wright

Black Bolt = Pierce Brosnan

Medusa = Elizabeth Hurley

Crystal = Dina Meyer

Gorgon = J.G. Hertzler

Karnak = Alexander Siddig

Triton = Orlando Bloom

Dante Pertuz/Inferno = Diego Boneta

Daisy Johnson/Quake = Willa Holland

Jonothan Starsmore/Chamber = Tom Holland

Hisako Ichiki/Armor = Inori Minase

Monet St Croix/M* = Maitreyi Ramakrishnan

Megan Gwynn/Pixie = Alexa Davies

Neal Shaara/Thunderbird* = Karan Brar

Brian Braddock Jr./Captain Britain = Jamie Bamber

Betsy Braddock/Psylocke = Lena Headey

Meggan = Sienna Miller

Eros/Starfox = Joel McHale

Sersi = Gemma Chan

Gilgamesh = Don Lee

Doreen Green/Squirrel Girl = Paris Berelc

Queen Veranke = Tessa Thompson

Super-Skrull = Luke Evans

Citri Noll = Theo James

Dard'van = Dane DeHaan

Skrull Infiltrator 1 = Billy Magnussen

Skrull Infiltrator 2 = Jenna Coleman

Skrull Infiltrator 3 = Nicholas Hoult

Skrull Infiltrator 4 = Rachael Taylor

Skrull Super-Soldier 1 = Mike Colter

Skrull Super-Soldier 2 = Finn Jones

Skrull Super-Soldier 3 = Eve Torres

Skrull Super-Soldier 4 = Valentina Shevchenko

At last, we come to Secret Invasion, which dives right in on the Skrull invasion beginning across all the active super-groups in the MCU at this point.  What follows then focuses on a few key groups of true humans as they all begin trying to work out what is happening and fight back in one giant ensemble piece.  All the characters with asterisks next to their names are the people replaced by Skrulls prior to the film, with key characters getting flashbacks to show when they were replaced, and an expanded dossier on this being a Blu-Ray extra.  Of course, the real characters will appear as well, and we have some alternative actors present to play the Skrulls themselves, though a few cast members would likely also get to double as additional Skrulls here and there for added fun.  In terms of direction, I’m going with JJ Abrams based on his work on the second of the Star Trek reboot films.  The kind of shell-game involving “John Harrison” and Admiral Marcus is not unlike the unveiling of the Secret Invasion, so it’s a logical match-up of director and material to my mind.

Howling Commandos (2023) Directed by James Gunn

Jack Russell/Werewolf by Night = Scott Eastwood

Danny Ketch/Ghost Rider II = Andrew Garfield

N'Kantu The Living Mummy = Omar Metwally

Frank = Bill Goldberg

Nina Price/Vampire by Night = Anya Taylor-Joy

Satana Hellstrom = Krysten Ritter

Elsa Bloodstone = Georgie Henley

Jericho Drumm/Brother Voodoo = Doug E. Doug

Vlad Tepish/Dracula = Mads Mikkelsen

Mephistopheles = Jeffery Combs

Baron Karl Mordo = Michael Dorn

Esteban Corazón de Ablo/Diablo = Wilmer Valderrama

Dragon Man (CGI Character) = Terry Notary

Umar = Ruth Wilson

Lily Cromwell = Emilia Clarke

Rachel Van Helsing = Cote De Pablo

Abigail Brand = Kristen Wiig

Clay Quartermain = Patrick Wilson

Daisy Dugan = Hayley Atwell

While this film’s title might suggest to some Marvel fans a long overdue focus on Nick Fury and his squad from World War II, others will understand that’s not the only group of Howling Commandos in Marvel history.  Among the later iterations of the group is a SHIELD-run group of monsters similar to DC’s Creature Commandos, and indeed this monster-based version of the HCs has seen some life in animation via the Ultimate Spider-Man and Agents of SMASH animated shows.  As such, our first film post-Secret Invasion focuses on this group coming together more formally (a previous informal attempt having been made under Blade in his third and final film).  Owing to the similarity to the DC Creature Commandos, whose animated show will be a leading element in James Gunn’s DCU, I was inspired to put him at the helm of this film.

Wolverine: Sins of the Father (2023) Directed by Paul Greengrass

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Laura Kinney/X-23 = Dafne Keen

John Wraith = Djimon Hounsou

Sarah/Marrow = Sarah Hyland

Romulus = Raoul Bova

Akihiro/Daken = John Cho

Arkady Rossovich/Omega Red = David Harbour

Sabretooth/Victor Creed = Tyler Mane

Maria Callasantos/Feral = Daniela Melchior

Itsu = Tamlyn Tomita

Akihira = Brian Tee

Natsumi = Rinko Kikuchi

To finish off phase 8 and complete the Wolverine duology, I decided to adapt a more modern Wolverine story arc which, although not one I’ve read, does give the character some closure on his past, something I think would be interesting to see.  The long and short of it is that Wolverine is trying to recover from the depletion of his healing factor after the events of Fatal Attractions when he and old friend John Wraith stumble upon Wolverine’s clone daughter, X-23, and an investigation of her origins inadvertently tips Wolverine to his own deep past, in the process also putting Wolverine at odds with his other previously unknown child, Daken.  For direction, Paul Greengrass returns, and we have an interesting mix of old casting and new, including the retention of the Fox X-Verse casting of Dafne Keen as X-23.

This brings phase 8 of my hypothetical 90’s-commenced MCU to a close.  The last phase will drop fairly early in 2025 (not the first month of the year but among the initial months, certainly), while next month’s ramble will take us back to my Poirot fan-cast to close out 2024.  Until my next ramble, ta-ta for now.

[phantom-le6]

Ramble of the month October 2024: Poirot fan-cast Part 1 of 4

Having corrected the oversight that prevented me from doing this fan-cast topic on my September ramble, I’m now able to cover it this month instead.  Now some people may wonder how can anyone do anything interesting in this area.  Surely Poirot only has a handful of stories to tell and they’ve all been done to death, right?  Well, that’s a viewpoint I think people will only have if your sole exposure to Poirot, and indeed to Agatha Christie lore in general, is based on films released in cinemas, and frankly the cinematic world has yet to really showcase every story that Christie ever wrote.

According to Wikipedia, Christie wrote a sum total of 66 novels and 14 short story collections, most of which revolved around her two main recurring detective characters; Belgian policeman-turned-private detective Hercule Poirot and English elderly spinster sleuth Jane Marple.  Of these two detectives, Poirot has had thirty-three novels written around him to Miss Marple’s twelve, so when looked at against film adaptations, many of which are somehow mistitled or at least renamed because they’re not direct adaptations, it’s quite a lot of stories written versus not many put to the big screen.

By comparison, British TV and radio have been more prolific in adapting the material; ITV has produced not only the Poirot TV drama series starring David Suchet, but also a few attempts at Miss Marple shows, though due to the relative lack of stories for the latter character, many Miss Marple shows have inserted her into stories Christie wrote with one-off detectives or make up original stories in the Christie style.  However, considering some of the adaptational liberties these shows have all taken over and above what the change in medium and production era require, one can argue it’s almost entirely new stories anyway.

In terms of radio, the British Broadcasting Corporation, or BBC as we Brits know it for short, had been the most faithful to the original novels, and in fact listening to these radio dramas on tape as a child and then on CD as an adult has been my main exposure to Christie lore.  Here, the adaptational liberties are almost non-existent, and you get a very close representation of what Christie wrote.  However, as with the TV shows, the radio dramas have the advantage of being quicker to produce over a number of programs, so it’s easier to cover all or most of the stories in a short span of time.  Films, by comparison, take longer to produce, so the question this raised for me was this; would it be possible to create entire film runs for Poirot and Marple covering more than just a handful of stories at a time, and without changing the key actor playing either role?

In hindsight, the answer is yes for Marple, and while Poirot can have a longer film run than most would think to give him, you might be pushing your luck if you want to adapt all Poirot novels without changing actors.  Assuming a rate of one film every two years without fail, adapting 33 Poirot novels would take about 66 years, so you’d either have to change actors much in the same way that the classic James Bond films did, or you would need to limit your choice of stories to a practical number.  To that end, I’ve based my own Poirot fan-cast on the idea of doing the latter, picking my casts based on who could survive to not only play Poirot, but also his small entourage of recurring supporting characters.

Now for those who may not be aware of Poirot’s supporting cast, let’s consider who we have.  First, Poirot often has someone along on his adventures who serves as the Watson to his Holmes, and in most stories it’s either Captain Hastings, from whose perspective the first Poirot mystery The Mysterious Affair at Styles is told, or novelist Ariadne Oliver, who unlike the horribly Americanised version from the recent Branagh Poirot film A Haunting in Venice is actually English and a sort of avatar for Christie herself in the stories.  Next, you have police colleagues of note that can aid Poirot by making official queries that Poirot lacks the legal authority to make as a private investigator.  The most notable character in this category is Inspector Japp of Scotland Yard, but another character who fits the bill is Superintendent Spence, who appears to take over from Japp in later Poirot narratives in much the same way that Mrs Oliver takes over from Hastings.

On top of these characters, we also get one character who kind of combines these roles in the form of Colonel Race, an Army officer who appears across two of Poirot’s tales, and also Poirot’s valet George, who has a role of sorts to play across many later Poirot stories.  Poirot also has a secretary in the form of Miss Lemon, but where ITV featured her heavily in their TV show, she is virtually absent from the BBC radio dramas.  As the latter is a key basis for my fan-casting, I’ve left Miss Lemon out accordingly.

To go back to the question of which stories to tell, as I’ve just mentioned, I’m being guided by what BBC radio chose to adapt.  Their run of Poirot adaptations is 27 stories long, which is still a bit impractical if you want to avoid a re-cast part-way through your film run.  However, two of the radio dramas that were initially produced had different actors playing Poirot to the main run, and while most of the dramas ran for one-and-a-half hours to two-hours-twenty minutes, one only ran for 45 minutes.  As such, if we discount the two stories with different actors and the short story, you come up with a 24-film run.  Assuming the first was made for a release in 1980, this would make the last film a 2026 release and just allow for a film run of this length to be achieved with only one Poirot.

How this will work in terms of my rambles is that for each one I do on this fan-casting, I will present six films at a time, as that evenly splits the Poirot films over four rambles.  The rambles won’t be consecutive, allowing me to divide time across one-off/deep-dive topics as well as other fan-casts like the remainder of my 90’s MCU and the Miss Marple fan-cast I’ve mentioned.  In the case of this fan-cast and the Marple one, no directors are cited, but I have made a note for chronology against each title; one year would be the film’s year of release, the other(s) will be the time period when the film is set.  So, without further ado, let’s dive in on our first round of six Poirot films…

The Mysterious Affair at Styles (1980/1918)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Captain Hastings = Anthony Head

Inspector Japp = John Hurt

Emily Inglethorp = Joan Sims

Alfred Inglethorp = Trevor Eve

John Cavendish = Roger Allam

Mary Cavendish = Julie Dawn Cole

Lawrence Cavendish = Robert Bathurst

Evelyn Howard = Lindsay Duncan

Cynthia Murdoch = Miranda Richardson

Dr Bauerstein = John Rhys-Davies

Dorcas = Deborah Kerr

The Mysterious Affair at Styles is set in the final year of World War 1.  Hastings has been invalided home from the front and spends his month of sick leave at Styles Court, the home of his old friend John Cavendish, who together with his wife Mary and brother John live with the step-mother of the family Emily Inglethorp, who has recently married a younger man.  Also present are a second cousin of Alfred Inglethorp’s who acts as Emily’s companion, a ward of Emily’s and maid-servant Dorcas.  A few weeks into Hastings’ stay, Emily Inglethorp is poisoned, and having learned his old friend Poirot is staying in a nearby house for Belgian refugees, Hastings enlists his aid in finding the murderer.

With the exception of Poirot, Japp and Hastings, all the characters here are one-shots specific to the story, and most of the characters are English, with only Poirot (Belgian) and Bauerstein (German) being from abroad.  As such, I’ve aimed for a mainly British cast and trusted to a capacity for accents on the remaining rolls, which brings me to my choice of actor for Poirot, Brian Cox.  While Cox is a Scottish actor, I know from his appearances as American characters in films like X-Men 2 and Rise of the Planet of the Apes that he can also do that accent.  As such, I conceive it possible that Cox could also manage a Belgian accent, as well as the Poirot body-build and moustaches.

Now some may query why I’d choose Cox for this role in a film that occurs in 1980, given how old Poirot is often depicted to be.  Well here I’m going by a line that comes up in the radio drama adaptation of the later Poirot novel Mrs McGinty’s Dead.  In the radio drama version, a young playwright is trying to adapt Ariadne Oliver’s fictional detective Sven Hjerson, a Swedish analogue of Poirot who Mrs Oliver uses as a way to fictionalise Poirot’s exploits.  During the discussions that arise about this, the playwright says he sees Hjerson as being in his late 30’s at most, to which Mrs Oliver retorts as follows;

“But I’ve been writing books about Sven Hjerson for thirty years, and he was thirty-five when I started.”

Now since Ariadne Oliver and Sven Hjerson are analogues of Christie and Poirot respectively, this would mean that Poirot was in his mid-thirties when this story occurs, and the sole reason we might see him as at least being middle-age in such a story is the changes in life expectancy between the 1910’s and now.  As such, since Cox himself would be about the same kind of age here, it makes sense to have him adopt the accent and appearance of Poirot to take the lead.  In turn, Anthony Head (Giles of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame) and the late John Hurt (Aliens, V for Vendetta) work as options for Hastings and Japp.  As for John-Rhys Davies, he has voice-acted an Eastern European accent before in Batman: The Animated Series, so I have confidence he could do a German accent for Bauerstein, and the rest of our one-shot roles are all English actors playing English characters.

The Murder on the Links (1982/1920)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Captain Hastings = Anthony Head

Dulcie Duveen = Isabelle Adjani

Bella Duveen = Isabelle Adjani

Jack Renauld = François Cluzet

Paul Renauld/Georges Conneau = Louis Jourdan

Eloise Renauld = Dora Doll

Madame Daubreuil/Madame Jeanne Beroldy = Maria Pacôme

Marthe Daubreuil = Isabelle Huppert

Monsieur Giraud = Jean Reno

Monsieur Hautet = Jean-Pierre Marielle

Lucien Bex = Daniel Auteuil

Dr Durand = Jean Rochefort

Françoise Arrichet = Catherine Deneuve

Léonie Oulard = Maria Schneider

In Murder on the Links, Hastings meets a strange woman on a train to Calais and falls for her without ever getting a name.  No sooner does he return to London, however, than he is accompanying Poirot back to France.  Poirot has received a letter from the wealthy Monsieur Renauld begging for the detective’s aid.  Alas, Poirot and Hastings arrive too late; Renauld has already been murdered, his body found lying in an incomplete bunker on a half-finished golf course.  Additional bodies, false identities, an arrogant Sûreté officer and the frequent reappearances of Hastings’ mystery woman add to the mystery as the story unfolds.  This time, the only returning character other than Poirot is Hastings, and this time Hastings and Poirot are the odd ones out in terms of nationality, since they’re working in France and so while Poirot is Belgian and Hastings is English, everyone else in the story is French.

To that end, this film features a predominantly French cast, many of whom were unknown to me prior to this fan-cast.  Then again, I’m not well-versed on a lot of older and international cinema, so I’m largely going by age and appearance combined with either nationality or an ability to speak in the right accent for a lot of this.  About the only name I really recognise is Jean Reno, who plays the role of Leon in the film of the same title.

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd (1984/1922)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Dr James Sheppard = Anthony Hopkins

Caroline Sheppard = Judy Cornwell

Roger Ackroyd = Ian Holm

Mrs Cecil Ackroyd = Glenda Jackson

Flora Ackroyd = Amanda Redman

Captain Ralph Paton = Nigel Havers

Geoffrey Raymond = Tim Pigott-Smith

Major Hector Blunt = Ian McKellan

John Parker = Peter Cushing

Elizabeth Russell = Jean Simmons

Charles Kent = Scott Bakula

Ursula Bourne = Leslie-Anne Down

Inspector Davis = Jonathan Pryce

Inspector Raglan = Roger Rees

Captain Hastings = Anthony Head

The Murder of Roger Ackroyd largely occurs from the perspective of Dr James Sheppard, the local GP in the village of King’s Abbott.  Following the death of Mrs Ferrars, Ackroyd asks to speak urgently with Dr Sheppard, but that night following a dinner party that the doctor attends at Ackroyd’s house, the title character is found stabbed.  When suspicion falls upon Ackroyd’s ne’er-do-well adopted son Ralph Paton, Ackroyd’s niece Flora asks Dr Sheppard in soliciting the aid of the doctor’s next-door neighbour, Hercule Poirot.

Now while Hastings isn’t part of the story in this novel, I include him in an opening scene to better set-up Poirot being in King’s Abbott in the film.  In at least the radio drama version, Poirot has retired from his second career as a private detective, something that Poirot seems to try and do periodically only to fail.  While this might be accepted by most novel fans, I think any film version should have some set-up for this for new audiences, especially given the slightly adjusted timescales the films have in comparison to the novels.

Casting-wise, we’re mostly looking at British actors, but we also have an American in the form of the mysterious Charles Kent.  To that end, I’ve added in Scott Bakula of Quantum Leap, Star Trek: Enterprise and NCIS: New Orleans fame alongside the many British acting heavyweights this film includes among its one-off characters.

Peril at End House (1986/1924)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Captain Hastings = Anthony Head

Magdala "Nick" Buckley = Marina Sirtis

Frederica "Freddie" Rice = Emma Thompson

Jimmy Lazarus = Daniel Day-Lewis

Commander George Challenger = Stephen Fry

Charles Vyse = Ray Winstone

Inspector Japp = John Hurt

Mr Croft = Jack Thompson

Mrs Croft = Anne Charleston

Ellen = Rosemary Harris

Magdala "Maggie" Buckley = Jane Leeves

Michael Seaton = Pierce Brosnan

Reunited with Poirot for the first time since his wedding, Hastings is on holiday in Cornwall with Poirot in this story.  Again, Poirot is still trying to stick to an idle life, but when a bullet lands at Poirot’s feet, the game is decidedly afoot.  It appears that local girl “Nick” Buckley is being targeted by someone, though not everyone around her is convinced.  Poirot is convinced and tries to prevent the looming tragedy.  He is not entirely successful, however, and soon a case of preventing murder becomes a case of solving a murder.

This film brings Hastings back in a fairly central role, and also sees the return of Japp in a supporting role.  Here again we have a mostly English cast, but the inclusion of an Australian couple in the form of Mr and Mrs Croft means we pick up a couple of actors from abroad.  Trek fans will doubtless note the inclusion of Marina Sirtis in this film, while Frasier fans will surely spot the addition of Jane “Daphne” Leeves as well, and that’s before looking at the multitude of other British actors, including a pre-Bond Pierce Brosnan.

Now Christie scholars may note that this is our first big time-jump in cases for Poirot in the film series.  In the novels, The Big Four and The Mystery of the Blue Train occur between the previous film and this one.  However, as I’ve already noted, we’re going by a slightly truncated list of Poirot stories adapted to radio by the BBC.  The Big Four was not among the Poirot stories adapted, and The Mystery of the Blue Train used a different voice actor to the main radio dramas.  In addition, I feel like the latter of these two is relatively superfluous when we consider that this film series will also include Murder on the Orient Express.  As such, we skip over the intervening stories, but perhaps include easter eggs as to their occurrence for the hard-core Christie fans.

Lord Edgeware Dies (1988/1926)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Captain Hastings = Anthony Head

Inspector Japp = John Hurt

George Marsh/Lord Edgeware = Terence Stamp

Jane Wilkinson/Lady Edgeware = Julie Christie

Carlotta Adams = Kim Cattrall

Bryan Martin = Timothy Dalton

Geneveive “Jenny” Driver = Fiona Fullerton

Captain Ronald Marsh = Peter Firth

Geraldine Marsh = Helena Bonham Carter

Miss Carroll = Julie Andrews

Alton = Simon Callow

Ellis = June Whitfield

Duke of Merton = Brian Blessed

Sir Montague Corner = Joss Ackland

Lady Corner = Honor Blackman

Donald Ross = Sean Bean

Jenkins = Michael Kitchen

Lord Edgeware Dies is the first story in this run where Poirot seems to be back in London and fully engaged to act as a private detective again.  In this case, while out for an evening’s entertainment with Hastings, Poirot is given an unusual commission by noted actress Jane Wilkinson.  He is asked to convince the lady’s husband, Lord Edgeware, to give her a divorce, with Wilkinson declaring that without it, she will just have to kill him herself.  However, Lord Edgeware declares he has already agreed to divorce his wife.  When Edgeware is found dead the next day, Wilkinson has a seemingly cast-iron alibi, so Poirot and Hastings, along with Japp, must seek the murderer elsewhere.

This film gives us a predominantly English cast of characters to use, so again a lot of Brits grace the cast, and once again we have the Poirot-Hasting-Japp trinity taking centre stage.  The one potential exception in this is Carlotta Adams, who is played by Kim Cattrall, who has appeared in a number of American films as well as the sit-com Sex and the City.  Cattrall is English-born but raised in the US, and so her accent will probably be limited to American, but not necessarily.  However, the story mentions Carlotta Adams having a sister who lives in Washington (though the audio drama version never says if that’s the state of Washington or Washington DC).  Given this, the role has slight leeway; a sister in America could imply time spent and an accent picked up there.  As such, I think that even an attempted English accent on Cattrall’s part could work, and so the casting remains useable regardless of actual ability for accents.

Murder on the Orient Express (1990/1927)

Hercule Poirot = Brian Cox

Monsieur Bouc = Alain Delon

Samuel Edward Ratchett/Cassetti = Al Pacino

Dr Stavros Constantine = Petros Filippidis

Mrs Caroline Hubbard = Salome Jens

Mary Debenham = Samantha Bond

Colonel John Arbuthnot = Jeremy Irons

Princess Natalia Dragomiroff = Glynis Johns

Hector MacQueen = Tom Hanks

Count Rudolph Andrenyi = Christoph Waltz

Countess Elena/Helena Andrenyi = Daryl Hannah

Cyrus Hardman = Michael Keaton

Antonia Foscarelli = Franco Nero

Greta Ohlsson = Britt Ekland

Hildegarde Schmidt = Barbara Sukowa

Edward Henry Masterman = Desmond Llewelyn

Pierre Michel = Jean-Pierre Bacri

Our final film for this ramble is my version of the classic Murder on the Orient Express.  In this story, Poirot is trying to have a holiday in Istanbul, but receives a telegram advising him that he is required urgently back in London.  With the aid of his friend Monsieur Bouc, a fellow Belgian who is a director of the company operating the Orient Express sleeper train, Poirot manages to secure passage on the famous train.  During the journey, Poirot is asked to aid Mr Ratchett, an American “businessman”, but Poirot senses something amiss and declines.  The next morning, the train has run into a snowdrift and Ratchett is found dead in his room, stabbed twelve times.  Aided by Bouc and Greek physician Dr Constantine, Poirot must investigate the international array of passengers and determine the murderer’s identity before the train is freed.

With this adaptation, I’m trying to avoid the many departures from the book that any adaptation I’ve seen on TV or film takes.  This means no race-shifts, no gender-swaps, no nationality-changes, no removing or combining characters, and above all the solution doesn’t involve any over-the-top melodrama from Poirot himself.  You don’t need to reinvent the wheel when doing these adaptations, just to make the film work on screen.  Casting-wise, that means picking as much like-for-like talent to play the roles as possible, matching age, appearance and nationality where I could and hoping for a good accent coach where needed.

Luckily, only two roles would need the accent coach; with Glynis Johns playing the Princess Dragomiroff, and Daryl Hannah for her initial portrayal of the Countess Andrenyi, opposite Austrian actor Christoph Waltz who was acting at this time but had yet to break into the US film industry.  Incidentally, the film features a whopping five American characters and thus actors, making this the most Hollywood-centric cast so far in this film run.  Whether any other film beats it, I’m not sure, but when I do the relevant rambles, it will be something I keep an eye out for.  The other bit of casting I would like to highlight is that of Desmond Llewelyn in the role of Masterman.  The actor, better known as the classic Bond film version of Q, voiced Masterman in the BBC radio drama version of this story, so as this film would have been made during his lifetime, I would have loved to see him play the role in front of a camera.

So, that’s the first six films in this Poirot fan-cast laid out.  The next six, which I’ll cover in December’s ramble after a brief November return to my 90’s MCU, will be Three Act Tragedy, Death in the Clouds, The ABC Murders, Murder in Mesopotamia, Cards on the Table and Dumb Witness.  Also keep an eye out for my 2025 rambles, as once I’ve finished with my 90’s MCU as a ramble topic, I will also be show-casing my fan-cast for a Miss Marple film run.  So, until next time, ta-ta for now.

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Gotham: Season 1 (4 of 4)

Episode 19: Beasts of Prey

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Gordon gets asked by a young officer to investigate the murder of a girl, Grace Fairchild. Along with Bullock, they interrogate a bartender for information. Through flashbacks, a man (revealed in a later episode as Jason Lennon) seduces Fairchild in the bar and brings her to his house, but when she asks to leave, he holds her hostage in an attempt to keep her as his lover. However, when she continues to respond with fear, he kills her. Upon discovering a painting of a broken heart, Bullock states the murderer is a serial killer known as "The Ogre", who targets young women. He also reveals that whoever tries to catch him, the Ogre kills a loved one in revenge.

While on the prison island, Mooney develops an escape plan with the prisoners. Upon realizing only boats and helicopters are the way out, Mooney sends a group of thug prisoners to reach the boat. However, when they reach the boat, they realize Mooney betrayed them so the others could escape and are killed by the guards. Mooney and the rest of the prisoners escape in the helicopter, although Mooney receives a bullet in the rib as she is piloting the helicopter away.

Bruce and Selina go after Reggie Payne. They find him in an abandoned warehouse. When Selina threatens to throw his drugs through a window, Payne reveals that the Wayne Enterprises person who sent him to retrieve the files was Sid Bunderslaw. Although he tells them everything, Selina throws the drugs out the window. Payne states he will tell Bunderslaw that Bruce is after him. When he tries to retrieve the drugs, Bruce is tempted to push him through the window but is hesitant. Selina, however, does not hesitate throws Payne through the window, killing him.

Bullock interrogates the officer who sent Gordon to go after Fairchild's kidnapper. He finally reveals that Commissioner Loeb sent him to give the case to Gordon. Realizing Lee may be in danger, Gordon angrily confronts Loeb. He promises that after arresting the Ogre, he'll go after him.

Review:

This episode opens up a closing arc for Jim Gordon that in some respects feels mis-placed.  Loeb’s capitulation to Gordon in the previous episodes feels at odds with him setting Gordon at odds a serial killer, and the content of the subsequent episodes in this arc seems like something we should see spread out over more episodes to be more believable.  At the same time, we get an interesting conclusion to Mooney’s side-plot on the island, and while it’s good to see the Bruce Wayne plot threads progressing, not sure Selina killing Reggie was the best move.  A very severe injury instead of outright death or Selina being a bit more shaken would have been better, especially since we’re working with a character like Bruce who is typically portrayed as a staunch no-killing kind of hero.

As such, I think any tendency to kill on Selina’s part should have been delayed or result in some sign that she struggles with it.  Her lack of apparent hesitation or remorse makes her seem like of a hardened anti-hero or flat-out mentally ill villain of the Arkham Asylum variety, neither of which feels right for a character who is more shades of grey than anything else.  For me, this episode is interesting but far from the best, and I’m not inclined to give it more than 6 out of 10.

Episode 20: Under The Knife

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Feeling the Ogre may be coming for Lee, Gordon unsuccessfully tries to convince her to leave town. In a bar, Lennon has a new date; Barbara. He plans to kill her in her penthouse but decides not to after he realizes she feels lonely and depressed. Not comfortable with him, she tells him to go.

Gordon and Bullock interrogate the first victim of the Ogre's revenge, Detective Ben Mueller, whose wife was killed by the Ogre. They learn that the killer’s first victim was a nurse at a cosmetic surgery clinic, but the clinic won’t reveal any details that might lead to the Ogre’s identity without a court order. As Bullock and Gordon leave the clinic, they're almost run over by the Ogre, who later calls Gordon and threatens to kill someone unless he retires from the investigation. Instead, Gordon outs the Ogre’s existence to the press and urges the public to come forward with any information.

Later, Gordon and Bullock investigate the manor home of Constance Van Groot, who apparently referred the Ogre to the clinic. In the process, they save a butler, Jacob Skolimski, from being hanged and discover the corpse of Constance Van Groot. They realize the Ogre is called Jason Skolimski, Jacob’s son. Jason killed Constance Van Groot because she led him on in delusions that she was his mother, only to reveal that it was all a game. Skolimski also reveals that Jason was born with a disfigured face that would make it impossible for him to seduce women, explaining the falsified referral in the Van Groot name to the cosmetic surgery clinic.

Bruce and Selina continue their investigation in Wayne Enterprises. Accompanied by Barbara, they attend Wayne Enterprises' Charity Ball. While Bruce distracts Sid Bunderslaw, the director of Physical Operations, Selina steals Bunderslaw's keys to make a copy. Cobblepot is forced to have dinner with Maroni and his mother Gertrude. While talking, Maroni reveals to Gertrude that his son has killed many people. Cobblepot swears to kill him.

While looking for files, Nygma discovers Ms Kringle has bruises in her arm from being abused by her boyfriend Officer Dougherty. Nygma confronts Dougherty at the police precinct to no avail, and then tries again outside Ms Kringle’s apartment, where Dougherty begins to beat him.  However, Nygma accidentally stabs him and then proceeds to keep stabbing him to death, possibly out of fear that Dougherty could either arrest him or hurt him back. Later, Gordon realises Barbara was with him on a photograph in the last Ball, and that the Ogre will actually target Barbara instead of Lee. In his home, Jason introduces Barbara to a room of BDSM equipment and possible torture tools.

Review:

This episode finally brings Barbara Kean back into events as Gordon begins hunting for the serial killer Loeb used to try and force him (Gordon) into line.  It’s interesting to see her and begin moving towards her being caught by the Ogre, but at the same time, it’s disappointing to see the same lazy writing as so many other TV shows and films being trotted out when it comes to the association of BDSM equipment with torture.  It’s up there with hypnosis/mind control, homosexuality and other tropes for being “othered” and used as a staple for the “bad guys”.  As much as it works for the Ogre’s strange and disturbing pathology, I think they could have done better.  Certainly CSI did better on this subject back in the day, and it’s irritating that other shows and films can’t show a similar intelligence.

That aside, we get a little progression for Bruce and Selina, though the handling of it in regards to Selina and her decision to kill Reggie remains poor if Selina is meant to remain a friend, or at least ally, of Bruce.  We also get a major dose of the off-again, on-again plot thread for Nygma as he ends up killing Officer Dougherty for abusing Ms Kringle.  Not exactly a move any audience member is going to disapprove of if they or anyone they know has been an abuse victim, but also not a move strictly in keeping with Nygma’s more typical depictions in Batman lore, which tends to be more related to heists than murder.  We also get a small nugget of on-going gang drama with the Penguin, though curiously no follow-up on Mooney’s escape from last episode.  Added all together, I give this episode 7 out of 10.

Episode 21: The Anvil or The Hammer

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Jason "The Ogre" Lennon proceeds to torture Barbara after revealing that while he originally planned to kill her, he believes she is his one true love and his torture is intended to reveal her “true self”. Eventually, he asks her to choose his next victim, threatening to kill her if she doesn’t. Meanwhile Gordon and Bullock continue their investigation. They learn the Ogre frequents an exclusive and mobile brothel known as the Foxglove, and Gordon secures an invitation for the purpose of an undercover investigation, though he puts himself in further debt to Cobblepot to do so. During the subsequent investigation at the Foxglove, Gordon and Bullock locate the Ogre's apartment in a building that overlooks Gotham Royal Hotel, but he and Barbara had already left for her parents' mansion, where both parents are killed. Nygma disposes of officer Dougherty's body in the forensic lab and pens a letter, posing as Dougherty, explaining that he left town.

Bruce sneaks into Bunderslaw's office at Wayne Enterprises and opens his safe, which is empty. Bunderslaw himself arrives and reveals that he was expecting Bruce, and has consequently removed the incriminating documents. He confesses to Bruce that his father and grandfather knew about illegal activities in the company, but decided to keep quiet. Afterwards, Bunderslaw orders Lucius Fox to lead Bruce away. Lucius subtly tells Bruce that while Bruce's father knew of the illegal activities, he did not approve of them.

The O'Connor assassination attempt is revealed to be a set-up designed by Cobblepot to start a war between Falcone and Maroni. Meanwhile, Gordon and Bullock arrive at the house of Barbara's parents to find them dead. After a brutal fight with Jim, the Ogre holds Barbara at knifepoint until Bullock distracts him for Jim to shoot him. Later, Jim confesses to Leslie that he no longer loves Barbara. Consumed with guilt, Bruce confesses his and Selina's murder of Reggie to Alfred, eventually also admitting to his visit to Bunderslaw. After Alfred tells Bruce that his father was a good man, Bruce states that even good men can have dark secrets.

Several crimes and killings are committed by Maroni and his crew against Falcone’s forces.  This comes to the attention of Captain Essen, who calls for all officers of the GCPD to remain on duty during the gang war that is apparently breaking out in Gotham.

Review:

The Ogre arc appears to conclude in this episode, though in light of how the next episode plays out, some moments can be read as potential foreshadowing in this episode that maybe we’re not done there yet.  Meanwhile, the other plots from the last episode, namely Bruce’s investigation, Cobblepot’s scheming and Nygma’s murder of Dougherty all proceed reasonably well.  The first of these gives us our first sight of Lucius Fox in the Gotham continuity, which is certainly a mark in its favour, and Penguin’s plot nicely sets up for the season finale.  All in all, it’s a better episode than the last couple, though not quite anything really great.  On balance, I’d give it 8 out of 10.

Episode 22: All Happy Families Are Alike

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

A group of homeless people, among them Selina, witness the arrival of Fish Mooney and the escapees from Dollmaker's Island. Mooney approaches Selina and states that it will be a "new day". Selina and the children soon join Mooney's gang.

Two weeks later, Bruce becomes convinced his father led a double life and with help from Alfred, he looks through his father's study room. Carmine Falcone is shot during an ambush in the port by Maroni's men and taken to the hospital. At the GCPD, Barbara decides to take trauma counselling from Dr. Leslie Thompkins after her torture and the death of her parents at the hands of the Ogre.

Cobblepot and Butch Gilzean arrive at the hospital, intending to kill Falcone. Cobblepot reveals planning the mob war since before making his deal with Falcone. Gordon stops them and handcuffs Cobblepot and Butch to a pipe and frees Falcone. Falcone will need two days in a hideout to find a way to stop the war and Gordon agrees to help him. Cobblepot, realizing Maroni's men are coming and will kill him for his betrayal, pleads with Gordon to free him, citing the favour Gordon owns him and the fact that since he has arrested them, he has a sworn duty to protect them. Commissioner Loeb arrives with Maroni's hitmen and orders them to kill Gordon and Falcone. A shootout between Gordon and the hitmen ensues with Gordon killing the hitmen. With help from Bullock, Gordon, Falcone, Cobblepot and Gilzean escape in an ambulance.

They get to Falcone's safe house but are taken hostage by Mooney's gang. Mooney is even more furious after noticing Butch's brainwashing treatment delivered by Victor Zsasz and taken advantage of by Cobblepot. Mooney makes a trade with Maroni: in exchange for Falcone's head, Maroni will return Mooney's territories. Mooney also plans on killing Cobblepot for using the brainwashed Butch but spares Bullock's life. However, during the meeting with Maroni, Maroni makes sexist comments about Mooney, which causes her to shoot him in the head. Maroni's and Mooney's gangs then fight, which gives enough time to Falcone, Gordon, and Bullock to escape to a cargo container. Falcone decides he's done with “business” and plans on retiring. Selina and other members of Mooney's gang recapture them and bring them back to Mooney. However, Cobblepot then appears with a machine gun and kills some gang members before pursuing Mooney to the rooftop of the warehouse, giving Falcone, Gordon and Bullock a chance to escape. Meanwhile, during her therapy session with Leslie, Barbara reveals that she murdered her parents, enraged that they never loved her. She then attempts to kill Leslie, showing that she has become as criminally insane as the Ogre. Leslie manages to neutralize Barbara in self-defence just as Gordon, Falcone, and Bullock arrive.

On the rooftop of the warehouse, Mooney and Cobblepot engage in a violent fight. Butch arrives with a gun, but he is torn between his brainwashing to obey Cobblepot and his loyalty to Mooney. Eventually and as if under a compulsion, he shoots both of them to satisfy the conflicting pleas from both. Mooney forgives Butch for shooting her but Cobblepot insults Butch. He then pushes Mooney to the edge of the rooftop, which makes her fall in the water, seemingly killing her. A shocked Butch watches in horror as Cobblepot climbs to the edge of the rooftop and shouts, "I am the king of Gotham!"

In the GCPD, in the file room, Kristen Kringle reveals to Nygma something she found in the note from "Dougherty": the first letter of each line spells out N-Y-G-M-A, his surname. Nygma denies any knowledge of the letter. When Kringle leaves, he appears to suffer a mental breakdown and talks to an alternate personality that has manifested itself in his mind. Before leaving Gotham, Falcone gives Gordon a knife Gordon's father gave him, stating, "The knife is a good friend when you have no others." Meanwhile at Wayne Manor, Bruce and Alfred appear to find nothing in the study. After Alfred states "none so blind", referring to Marcus Aurelius, Bruce recalls Lucius Fox calling his father "stoic". He finds a relevant book with a device hidden in the cover and turns it on, revealing stairs behind the fireplace that lead to a cave.

Review:

For a season finale, this one is pretty good.  Being a serialised show, it doesn’t exactly end on a definite cliffhanger or conclusive ending, but instead we get a little of both depending on the plot thread.  As such, let’s deal with each thread in turn.  Firstly, the gang war; mostly good, though the removal of Maroni makes me wonder how, if at all, this show is going to handle any eventual transformation of Harvey Dent into Two-Face in later seasons.  After all, the definitive Two-Face origin is him being hit by acid courtesy of Salvatore Maroni, and now that can’t happen.  Does that mean this show will take a page from the Nolan films or the Batman animated series and have a different cause/culprit for the scars?  Will Harvey remain unscarred until the time when Bruce is Batman?  More pressing, however, is whether Cobblepot’s assertion of being the new king of Gotham’s underworld has any validity.  Just because the other big players above him have apparently either retired or died by no means ensures his dominance in their absence, so it’ll be interesting to watch season 2 and remind myself how this plays out.

Second, the aftermath of the Ogre.  This episode is where the Ogre story arc reveals that its length doesn’t necessarily match its events.  The revelation that Barbara has become so mentally deranged after a seemingly short period of mental conditioning seems to suggest the show-runners were using an unrealistic cheat and progressed Barbara too much in too short a space of time.  Now if it had been over a few episodes that the Ogre conditioned Barbara, her turning on Leslie in this episode might be a bit more credible, but considering the Hollywood tendency to demonise any obvious example of mental conditioning, I suspect they’re a bit clueless on this subject.  Then again, Barbara has been through some prior ordeals and has some pre-existing mental health issues, so it could also be an example of the proverbial straw breaking the camel’s back.

Third, let’s consider Nygma’s origin story.  The reveal of his faked note from Dougherty spelling out his own name finally sees Nygma begin to show signs of his eventual Riddler persona.  This is a nice touch, though the split personality scene is strange given that Nygma is normally shown to just have an obsessive compulsion to leave riddles at his crime scenes, and a split personality of any description isn’t a typical part of his character.  The question here is whether the writers added this component to give the character more appeal as a villain to non-comic fans among the viewers, or are they showing the same kind of ignorance that seems threaded into aspects of the Ogre story arc.

Lastly, we have Bruce and Alfred looking more into the secret life of Thomas Wayne, and in the process finding the Bat-cave.  As season-ending shots go, that is one of the best ones to end on just for the sheer iconic significance of the cave.  Now if I were to combine all of this together and impart a score on the first season’s last episode, what would that score be?  To be honest, I can only give this episode 8 out of 10.  If they’d stretched out the Ogre plot for a few more episodes, maybe looked in on Fish a bit between episode 19 and this one, it could have done even better.  Honestly, Fish Mooney turning up hale and hearty after the character had been shot in episode 19 and then being unseen for two episodes feels a bit off.  Hopefully there will be better consistency in story-telling when we look at season 2.

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Ramble of the month September 2024: A deep dive on the Fox X-Men films and how many timelines they cover

My original plan for this month, following the completion of all posts regarding my alternate DC film universe, was to begin presenting a fan-cast for a run of films based on the Agatha Christie detective Hercules Poirot.  However, owing to an oversight in my research, I’ve had to put this on hold, and this means that for my September ramble, I’m bringing forward the subject I would have originally discussed in my October 2024 ramble.  As the title says, this month we’re looking at the X-Men films that were made by 20th Century Fox prior to the studio being acquired by Disney.

Of course, some may wonder why this is something we need to consider, and that reason can be found in the latest “MCU” film, Deadpool and Wolverine.  Despite this film being considered part of the film-run we know as the MCU, the film occurs primarily in the universe of the first two Deadpool films and, apparently, the film Logan.  This in turn is why I use the MCU acronym in quotation marks; the U in MCU stands for universe, and in a multiversal model, applying this acronym to stories not set in the main universe of this continuity doesn’t really make sense.  Only one universe within Marvel’s current live-action multiverse can be the MCU.

The streaming series Loki has, as I understand it, termed this universe the “sacred timeline”, and for me, only that timeline is the MCU.  Only characters/versions of characters native to that timeline are the MCU versions of the characters, and other labels should be used for each of the other universes.  Since Deadpool and Wolverine is set outside the MCU proper and most of its characters originate outside of that universe, I think calling the film an MCU film is very much using MCU in the very loosest sense, and personally I’d rather we not use it at all.  However, since Marvel has decreed all Marvel films are part of the MCU even when other studios make them or other universes in the multiverse provide the setting, we’re stuck with this.

As such, it means we’re not done with the X-Men films that were made under Fox because Marvel Studios is keeping those timelines going when they really should be getting closed over in favour of a reboot of the franchise within the sacred timeline.  Why should the old Fox-started timelines be closed off?  Because they’re rife with mis-cast actors misrepresenting the national origins of several character, because their continuity is poor if it exists at all, and because compared to productions like the 90’s X-Men animated series and its sequel series X-Men ’97, the films just haven’t been a good reflection of the source material.  Mind you, X-Men ’97 has a continuity error of its own to address given that it is meant to be a sequel to a show that shares continuity with the 90’s Spider-Man animated show, and that show doesn’t support the Captain America cameos we got in the new X-Men show.

So, since we’re not done with the old films, the question now has to be answered; how many universes do these films cover?  While I imagine Fox had its own answers on this back in the day, the frequent lack of film-to-film continuity and periodic mishandling of superhero lore by Hollywood are grounds enough to ignore this, because in all honesty I cannot see that any real due diligence was done to ensure all the Fox X-Men films were done right continuity-wise.  As such, I’ve decided to work strictly on the events of the films themselves and how characters have been portrayed to work out how many timelines there are, and which films go into each.

Now before I say which films fall into what timeline, let’s look at the overall run of films that were done by Fox prior to the Disney buy-out in this franchise in order of release, and add the new Deadpool film to this for purposes of working out our timelines;

2000: X-Men

2003: X2: X-Men United

2006: X-Men: The Last Stand

2009: X-Men Origins: Wolverine

2011: X-Men: First Class

2013: The Wolverine

2014: X-Men: Days of Future Past

2016: Deadpool, X-Men: Apocalypse

2017: Logan

2018: Deadpool 2

2019: X-Men: Dark Phoenix

2020: The New Mutants

2024: Deadpool & Wolverine

As you can see, as the work done by this franchise and other pre-MCU Marvel films to legitimise the superhero film genre progressed, the films slowly became more and more frequent until the buy-out by Disney, at which point factors like Covid and the X-Men being under the control of Marvel delayed our latest instalment.  Now here are the timelines I believe these films fit into;

Fox X-Verse Prime: X-Men, X2: X-Men United, X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, The Wolverine

First Class X-Verse: X-Men: First Class, X-Men: Days of Future Past, X-Men Apocalypse

DP & Logan-Verse: Deadpool, Logan, Deadpool 2, Deadpool & Wolverine

Films left over due to contradictory evidence or lack of evidence preventing accurate timeline assignment: X-Men: Dark Phoenix, The New Mutants

So, as the above clearly shows, we have at least three timelines created by Fox during their tenure with the X-Men film rights, and while I suspect The New Mutants could fit into at least two of these without issue, maybe even three, Dark Phoenix could potentially represent a fourth universe due to its outcome conflicting with the events of Days of Future Past.  However, before we consider these two films, let’s look at why I’m hiving these films off into the universes that I am.  In particular, I know some people will think me mad for putting the prequel films in another timeline to the original X-Men films, given that the old cast reprised their roles in Days of Future Past and certain timeline events are shared.

Exhibit A: Two Moiras and the survival of the Cassidy bloodline

Over the course of the Fox X-Verse, a few characters have been subject to Americanisation, including the characters of Moira Mactaggert and Sean Cassidy/Banshee in the prequel film First Class.  In the comics, Moira is a Scottish scientist, originally named Moira Kinross until she broke off her engagement to Charles Xavier in order to marry fellow Scotsman and Royal Marine Commando Joe Mactaggert.  Now in X-Men: The Last Stand, the Scottish version of Moira appears in three scenes; on a video case-study Xavier used to teach a class, at Xavier’s funeral and in the post-credits scene where Xavier is revealed to have survived via transferring his mind into another body.  The Moira of the film First Class, however, is known as Mactaggert while single and is an American working for the CIA.

Since the same character cannot have two entirely different careers and accents in the same universe, this is clear evidence that we are most likely dealing with separate universes, and it is accompanied by another discrepancy.  In the film X2: X-Men United, Banshee’s daughter Siryn appears in a brief but key role during the infiltration of the X-Mansion by Stryker’s operatives.  As this film is set in the early-to-mid 2000’s and Siryn is a student, this would put her date of birth somewhere in the mid-to-late 1980’s.  Now in X-Men: Days of Future Past, a scene between the Xavier and Magneto of the 1970’s reveals that Banshee was killed between the events of First Class and Days of Future Past.  If the prequel films were in the same universe as the original films and only events after the 70’s changed, this would mean Banshee died before he could ever conceive his own daughter.  As such, the original films have to be a separate universe, otherwise Siryn could not exist in X2.

Exhibit B: The two timelines of the Xavier-Magneto friendship

Over the course of the X-Men films, we’ve been given two different and contradictory versions of Xavier’s friendship with Magneto.  In the first X-Men film, Xavier claims the pair of them met as teenagers, citing teen ages for when he discovered his powers and when he met Erik Lehnsherr.  Now not only do the prequel films move Charles and Erik meeting to when Xavier has graduated Oxford University, something more likely to have happened in his early-to-mid 20’s, but they also move up the manifestation of Xavier’s telepathy to his pre-teens.  This is the first discrepancy in the friendship pointing to two different timelines being in play.

The second discrepancy concerns how Charles became paralysed and any retention of his ability to walk.  In Last Stand, Xavier is able to walk in an opening scene set in the 1980’s where he and Erik recruit Jean as a student.  In First Class, however, Xavier is paralysed by deflected gunfire in 1962 during the X-Men’s intervention in the Cuban Missile Crisis.  Since then, Xavier only regains his ability to walk in Days of Future Past by taking a serum that has the side-effect of blocking his telepathy.  Since Xavier has both telepathy and the ability to walk in the Last Stand scene, it’s clearly a different timeline.  For that matter, Charles and Erik recruit Jean together in Last Stand, yet they part ways following the Cuban Missile Crisis in the prequel films, only reuniting as needed in the later films of that run, so here again is evidence of separate histories and therefore separate universes.

Lastly, there’s the question of when Xavier learned of Magneto’s helmet.  In the first X-Men film, he’s evidently puzzled by his inability to find Magneto, and it isn’t until the train station incident that he learns of the helmet.  By comparison, in First Class Magneto’s helmet is originally in the hands of Sebastian Shaw and Xavier is present when Magneto wears it for himself.  As such, these two films have to be part of different universes, because how else can Xavier learn of Magneto’s helmet for the first time in 2000 if he’s known about the helmet since the early 1960’s?  Simple and obvious answer here; there is no other way.  It’s two universes, each of which introduces the helmet at different points in history.

Exhibit C: The shape-shifting foster-sibling

When X-Men: First Class was released, viewers were given Xavier having a foster sibling who was an X-Men antagonist in the comics, but unlike the comics, it was Mystique rather than Juggernaut and she was taken in whereas Juggernaut became Xavier’s step-brother via a marrying of Cain’s father and Xavier’s mother.  Now leaving aside those departures from the source material, there’s nothing in the original X-Men films even hinting that Mystique has any regard for Charles based on a shared upbringing.  I find it somewhat far-fetched that Mystique could sabotage Cerebro in the first film or let Magneto manipulate Charles via Stryker’s son if they had shared a past relationship as foster siblings.  As such, this adds to the evidence we possess so far of there being separate timelines at work for the two main X-Men universes.

Exhibit D: The differing ages of Jean, Angel and Psylocke

In the opening two scenes of The Last Stand, we get the Jean Grey of 1986 and the Warren Worthington III (AKA Angel) of 1996 before diving into the 2006 present-day of the film.  In both cases, the two characters appear to be somewhere around 12 or 13 at a guess.  However, when the two characters appear in X-Men Apocalypse, which is set in the early 1980’s, the two characters both appear in their later teens.  In addition, Last Stand also credits one of the Morlocks as Psylocke, so the character appears in that film as a woman probably in her 20’s or 30’s.  However, the character also appears in X-Men Apocalypse at about the same kind of age, and with different powers in evidence.  Since Psylocke isn’t slow to age like Wolverine, we clearly have different versions of the same characters all being born at different times, and only different histories and universes can explain that.  Not having playing Psylocke accurately to her national origins in the comics, either in her original body or her substitute one, that’s only explainable by Fox not really caring about these characters at all.

Exhibit E: The two Trasks

Mutants and their allies aren’t the only characters who differ across the main X-Men film run.  Dr Bolivar Trask, the creator of the Sentinels, is also very different.  In X-Men: The Last Stand, the character appears as a black man of standard height who, like Hank McCoy, is a secretary in the president’s cabinet.  However, when we get to X-Men: Days of Future Past, we have a white man with dwarfism who is strictly a private industrialist trying to get anyone that will listen to buy his Sentinels.  Now it’s part of comics lore that Trask has a son, so in theory we could be seeing that, but for that to work, it would most likely involve Bolivar adopting someone rather than it being a blood relation like in the comics.  Also, Bolivar’s son Larry Trask was a mutant with precognitive abilities, and the character in X-Men: The Last Stand shows no sign of this, and while that may not mean much under the Fox stewardship where changing characters at random is almost par for the course, I think it’s simply most likely we have two very different versions of Bolivar, and thus two timelines.

Exhibit F: The state of Wolverine’s claws

Many X-Men fans know that Wolverine’s claws were originally bone and were subjected to the same adamantium-bonding process as the rest of his skeleton.  In the 2013 film The Wolverine, we see the metal-coated claws cut off during the third act climactic battle, only for the underlying bone claws to regenerate.  Following the film’s end-credit scene and its apparent ties to Days of Future Past, where Wolverine’s future self appeared with metal-coated claws again, it was perhaps logical to assume that Magneto somehow managed to bond a new layer of adamantium to Wolverine’s claws.  However, given the other evidence, this is perhaps best reconsidered.  I, for one, don’t think the film version of Magneto can necessarily pull this off, as we’ve never seen him show any ability to process and apply adamantium like this in the films.  The comics, and as of X-Men ’97 the animated shows, may include a Magneto that can liquify adamantium as well as moving its solid form, but film Magneto has no precedent for this.  As such, it is my belief that we have two Wolverines; one who had to fight the Sentinels with bone claws and an otherwise adamantium skeleton, and one who fought them with a fully adamantium skeleton.

Of course, this then brings up potential counter-evidence, but we’ll get to that in a moment.  Our next stop is to consider how the Deadpool & Logan-Verse differs from the other two.  First, Deadpool’s universe includes a Russian Colossus and an American Juggernaut, which differs from the other two universes, since Juggernaut in Last Stand was played by British actor Vinnie Jones and Colossus in X2, Last Stand and Days of Future Past was an American played by Daniel Cudmore.  Moreover, Deadpool appears in X-Men Origins: Wolverine as well as his own films, and the two versions each have differing origins, explaining how Deadpool could safely kill his X-Men Origins counterpart in the mid-credits scene of Deadpool 2 (bearing in mind the scene occurred at a time when the X-Men-based films worked to traditional time-travel rules rather than those based in quantum mechanics).

Second, following Deadpool & Wolverine, we’ve established that the film Logan also occurs in the timeline of the solo Deadpool films.  Now as I’ve noted before elsewhere, Logan is based on a problematic concept, that of someone spending 25 years using GM crops to wipe out naturally occurring mutation without the X-Men or other mutant groups catching on.  If the film was part of the original X-Men film universe, this couldn’t work; the X-Men in those films and their Brotherhood antagonists would easily learn what was going on and prevent it.  The amended future of the prequel trilogy shown in Days of Future Past also rules out that universe’s X-Men having been caught out, since otherwise the school would have ceased to exist.

If, however, we see this as a third universe, then some logic begins to come back in.  Firstly, Deadpool notes in his first two films how he barely sees any other X-Men at the mansion.  If, however, there is a wider decline in the mutant population, this can be explained by a decline in natural mutant births having a causal impact on the school’s recruitment.  Indeed, it is possible that in Deadpool’s universe, Negasonic Teenage Warhead and Yukio are among the last mutants born before the on-set of the GM crop plot.  This would also explain the mutant trafficking operation run by Ajax and Angel Dust in the first Deadpool film trying to trigger dormant mutant genetics.  The GM crop products perhaps inhibit mutant genes rather than eliminating them, and so to keep up with the demand for “super-slaves”, Ajax and Angel Dust are using a counter-substance, knowledge of which they keep hidden to ensure demand for their services remains high.

Now this still doesn’t explain the apparent lack of response by the X-Men to Rice’s GM crop scheme, and so Logan still has a plot-hole that is yet to be fully explained.  As I see it, the most likely options are that either Rice developed various means of protecting his operation against telepaths, shape-shifters and so on, or this is a universe where the X-Men had to fight less opposition and so became complacent enough for Rice to succeed.  Indeed, it may even be both of these reasons, but if that is the case, then I think we need some kind of Marvel production to showcase what happened and fully explain it within the film canon of this universe.

With all this evidence out of the way, let’s look at the counter-evidence.  There are two items of evidence that would seem to go against the multiple universes I’m proposing.  The first is common history across certain films, and the second is common actors.  The second is easier to cover, so we’ll tackle that first.  By now, we’ve enough films covering the multiverse concept to establish across universe, character can look identical or slightly different, and sometimes a character in one universe has the same face as someone else from a different universe.  Spider-Man: No Way Home gave us three different Peter Parkers played by different actors, but Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness showed us different Stranges that were all played by one actor.  Also, we’ve seen Chris Evans play the Human Torch of the Fantastic Four and Captain America, and we’ve even seen roles re-cast mid-continuity, such as James Rhodes in the MCU or Kitty Pryde in the original X-Men films.

As there are no solid rules regarding superhero casting relative to multiversal concepts, this means that we can’t always rely on casting in relation to working out which films link into which timeline.  This means that the original X-Men actors coming back for Days of Future Past doesn’t necessarily link those films into a common timeline, while the prequel cast showing up in Deadpool 2 for a quick group cameo doesn’t tie Deadpool’s solo films in with the prequel timeline.  If there was more consistency in terms of how the characters were played between actors and there weren’t continuity evidence galore, I would say that casting made no difference in working out timelines for these films.  As it is, some key differences do exist, but they point more to separate timelines than a unified timeline.

Now let’s consider the shared history aspect.  Even in spite of all the differing continuity I’ve pointed out, some commonalities remain.  How, then, do we explain this dichotomy?  Well, here we have some assistance from X-Men ’97.  In the eighth episode of the first season, Tolerance is Extinction (Part 1), Beast refers to a concept spoke of by the mystics of Kamar-Taj.  The concept is that of absolute points, events that occur across all timelines that are impossible to prevent or alter, even with time travel.  Now this concept almost certainly can’t hold across all timelines, since that would mean every continuity across the Marvel multiverse, be it comics, film, animated series or computer game, would have to have a Genosha incident occur at the same time as the X-Men ’97 series.  This, in turn, would require mutants to exist in all timelines, and as we can evidence by other past films and shows making up parts of the Marvel multiverse, not every timeline has mutants.

However, it is possible that if enough universes exist with common elements, an absolute point could occur across all qualifying timelines.  For an example, let’s look at a bit of real-world history.  During World War I, Russia was originally involved as an ally of Britain and France against Germany and Austro-Hungary.  However, following the October Revolution of 1916 and the death of the Romanoff royal family, Russia became neutral, enabling the German and Austro-Hungarian forces to concentrate themselves on the western front.  Moreover, the assassination of Austro-Hungarian Arch-Duke Franz Ferdinand was committed by a Serbian, and Serbia was an ally of Russia, yet at the Treaty of Versailles, the Germans were blamed for starting the war despite having no part in the inciting incident.  This, in turn, appears to have been pushed for by France and the United States, and based on the other conditions of the treaty, Germany was severely weakened, enabling the climate that would allow Hitler to rise to power in Germany during the 1930’s and thereby precipitating World War II.

Now some people might assume from the significance of World War II that it would qualify as an absolute point, something that no amount of time travel could prevent, with only its outcome potentially alterable.  However, suppose that the October revolution never occurred.  Suppose that the events that lead the Russian people to rise up and kill their monarchy never transpired, or simply had outcomes that ensured on-going popular support for the Romanoffs.  If this were the case, then two battle fronts would have continued to exist and the war might have ended sooner.  Moreover, Russia would have been present for any subsequent peace talks, and might have spoken out against punishing Germany and Austro-Hungary too harshly.  This, in turn, might have resulted in less punitive measures against the defeated countries, and created a less fertile political climate for a bigoted fascist like Hitler to exploit.

Moreover, if Russia had remained an Imperialist monarchy instead of becoming a communist state, even if Hitler were still able to rise to power, he would be without an ally in Russia at the start of World War II, thereby undermining his plans of conquest.  As such, it is possible that the retention of the Russian royal family might have prevented a second World War.  Applying this logic back to Marvel and the absolute points concept, this means that in Marvel universes where the right elements exist, we have absolute points common across multiple universes.  These would include the battles at Liberty Island and Alcatraz Island, as well as Wolverine’s Weapon X procedures.  However, not everything about these points may be identical; as yet, the concept of absolute points does not specify if the whole event is absolute or only certain elements.

For example, we know that Liberty Island occurs in the original films and in the past of the Logan film, and we know Wolverine was present for both instances.  As such, the location and the presence of an X-Men team at that location are absolutes.  However, it may be that the opposition isn’t always Magneto, or that the outcome and exact players vary a bit in each timeline.  In turn, we know that Alcatraz Island and the death of Jean’s Phoenix self appears to be an absolute point, but again can we be sure anything else about the incident is fixed?  The only other absolute point of note seems to be a clash with the Sentinels, the outcome of which we know in the prequel films but not the original film timeline.

This explains away the counter-evidence well enough, leaving us to now reconcile the last two films that were made under Fox, as well as remaining continuity errors that, unless explained, will continue to be a blight on Fox’s tenure with these characters.  First, let’s consider the infamous Dark Phoenix film.  At first glance, the film appears to follow on from the other prequel films, but it actually seems to deviate from them as its events and ending don’t seem to align with the revised future shown in the conclusion of Days of Future Past.  How can Jean be alive again in the revised future of Days of Future Past if she’s apparently sacrificed herself to the Phoenix entity in Dark Phoenix?  Moreover, if the Phoenix is a part of her as shown in X-Men: Apocalypse, how can it be possessing her as a separate entity in Dark Phoenix?

There are two possible explanations as I see it, but without further evidence provided in a future X-Men film, it’s impossible to say which is true.  The first is that we are seeing another part of the prequel film universe and we’re just missing pieces of the puzzle.  For this to work, the following would have to apply;

While Jean’s power appeared Phoenix-like in X-Men: Apocalypse, this is actually just her power at full extent, and the Phoenix effect we see is just an unnamed side-effect of her power unleashed.  That power is then amplified and given a name by the Phoenix force inhabiting her in the later film.

Jean does not in fact die taking the Phoenix into space.  She returns at some later time and is somehow able to part from the Phoenix entity.  If so, this could be picked up in any remaining films Marvel plans to make in the Fox timelines.

The second explanation is that Dark Phoenix represents a fourth timeline that diverts from the events of the previous trilogy, most likely in the wake of Days of Future Past.  This would explain the differing representations of Jean’s powers, as well as the fact that Dark Phoenix starts with the X-Men has heroes despite the Apocalypse film ending on a state of increased tension between humans and mutants.

As to our other film, The New Mutants, we simply lack sufficient evidence to confirm which timeline it is part of.  Fans of the comics will know that Anya Taylor-Joy’s character of Illyana is the younger sister of Colossus in the source material, and since her accent matches that of the Colossus from the Deadpool & Logan-Verse, that may be the most likely option.  However, the films have long since proven that their makers have little to no regard for maintaining relationships between all characters.  There’s no sign in the original films of Mystique being a foster mother to Rogue, and no films have shown the mother-son relationship between Mystique and Nightcrawler.  Scott and Alex Summers have their age dynamic inverted and expanded, not to mention that they have living parents instead of only a living space-pirate father, and the list keeps going.

Given this, there’s no guarantee that the Illyana in The New Mutants is still the sister of Colossus.  For all we know, this film could fit into one of the other film universes where Colossus was born and raised in the US based on his accent, and that would make Illyana a distant cousin at best.  Moreover, I’m not sure how the facility the New Mutants are in would work in the Deadpool & Logan-Verse if said New Mutants are in decline.  The mention of the Essex Corporation that runs the facility, already seen in X-Men: Apocalypse as an end-credit scene, is likewise not certain evidence because the same corporation appears to run the orphanage in Deadpool 2 where Deadpool meets Russell.  That puts the same corporation in what I’ve established are separate timelines, so the facility for the New Mutants could be in either of these, or in a timeline all its own.

This then leaves the outstanding general continuity errors that aren’t evidence for timeline-sorting, but remain outstanding nonetheless;

How is Hank McCoy human-looking on the bar TV in X2 when Mystique seduces the prison guard, but blue and furry in X-Men: The Last Stand?  This can be explained a few ways, especially since we’ve established that the prequel films and original films aren’t in the same universe as each other.  Discounting for the moment prequel-Beast’s medicinal appearance-modifier, it could be that Hank mutated from human-looking to his Beast-like appearance between films, or he might be using a holographic disguise known as an image inducer (a common conceit in X-Men comics that saw some use in the X-Men Evolution series) to appear human in the X2 scene.

If Wolverine was shot with an adamantium bullet to give him amnesia, why isn’t this reflected in the x-rays taken in the first film?  This is a continuity error that can’t really be explained in-universe, not unless Wolverine encountered anyone prior to the X-Men who could somehow “patch up” the hole that the bullet fired by Stryker would leave behind.  After all, as we established in the later film The Wolverine, if Wolverine’s adamantium skeleton is compromised, only the bone that was covered by the adamantium regenerates.  For this to be explained, we’d need to see someone in film canon actually patching up holes in the adamantium coating, and frankly, I think that’s stupid given everything else that’s been established about adamantium.

Another possibility is that the bullets didn’t penetrate the adamantium, but instead hit the outer adamantium hard enough that the underlying skull was fractured and pieces of that penetrated the brain.  However, I don’t think that’s too likely, and in all probability wouldn’t work from a scientifically accurate point-of-view.  The more likely option is that this is simply the one error on Fox’s part that is beyond explanation, and part of why Marvel needs to abandon any use of Fox’s former timelines as soon as possible.  The less you have to contend with their slip-shod continuity, the better.

Why does Sabretooth not recognise Wolverine when they meet in the first X-Men film?  While Wolverine’s amnesia can be traced back to his origins film, it’s less clear where Sabretooth is similarly affected.  The most likely options are that Sabretooth going increasingly feral over the years causes some amnesia for him, or he sustained similar head trauma to Wolverine somewhere down the line.  If it’s the latter, it may even be Stryker’s doing in an effort to keep Sabretooth away.

If Xavier grew up in Westchester, New York and Magneto grew up in Auschwitz, why do they both sound English?  Accents remain my biggest complaint in the Fox X-Men films, and few are as mis-placed as Xavier and Magneto.  I’ve come to accept that with some other characters who have this issue, they’re simply American-born versions of the proper characters and their parents or grand-parents hail from their original birth-nation.  This would mean, for example, that First Class Banshee is American and his parents or grandparents are Irish, whereas in the comics Banshee himself would be Irish.

With Xavier and Magneto, however, the accent discrepancy is harder to excuse given that First Class confirms their childhood places of origin.  With Xavier, I presume that in all film timelines so far, he was born to an American father and British mother, and spent an early part of his childhood in England before moving to Westchester.  He then returned to England to attend Oxford, and this combined with other stints in England for whatever reason contribute to his otherwise misplaced accent.

In Magneto’s case, X-Men ’97 showcases in its last first season episode a possible explanation for his accent mismatch.  In that episode, Magneto reverts to a German accent when in his mind-scape and appearing to lose his memories, but then shifts to a more English-like accent when Xavier helps him.  This suggests Magneto may in some timelines put on a different accent in attempt to mask his true origins.  This doesn’t mean I want to keep seeing British actors play the master of magnetism, but at least it gives us a logical explanation for the accent mis-matches we’ve had to date with this character.

If at the end of Days of Future Past, it appears Wolverine’s past self is rescued from drowning by Mystique disguised as Stryker, how has Wolverine fallen into the real Stryker’s clutches in X-Men: Apocalypse?  The key thing to keep in mind with the prequel films is that they’re all set at approximately 10-year intervals, so between Days of Future Past and Apocalypse, there is a missing decade of events.  In this time, Xavier has reformed the school for mutants that he originally wanted, Magneto has settled down to have a family, and so on.  In Mystique’s case, she goes from wanting to kill Trask to saving Nightcrawler while shunning any notion of herself as a hero.

As such, I suspect that in between the two films, Mystique and Wolverine spent some time together before the real Stryker somehow took Wolverine.  It may be that during this time they tried to help other mutants, and that after Wolverine’s capture, Mystique continued the “good fight” but doesn’t like seeing herself as a hero because she perhaps feels guilty over what happens with Wolverine.  She then keeps this hidden from others during the events of Apocalypse, but perhaps in then joining the X-Men at the film’s end, she begins to forgive herself.  Again, this is something a canonical Marvel production should cover.  My idea would be an animated series called X-Men: The Hidden Years, in which all of these various explanations come to light as we see the between-film events that explain all outstanding continuity issues and assign all the X-Men films into their proper timelines.

Now without re-watching the films again in detail, this is probably as far as I can go on this for now, and certainly I’ll be hoping for more clarity around more recent issues brought up by the new Deadpool & Wolverine.  My initial reflections after watching it and a brief discussion with my honourary sister who watches the Marvel shows indicate that we have a continuity error connected to the Loki series, and cause for concern regarding the eventual fate of any X-Men in Deadpool’s timeline now it’s tied to the backstory of Logan.  Hopefully light can be shed on this by extras on the Blu-ray release when it comes out, but for now, I think Marvel needs to gear up to start creating their own versions of the X-Men in their own timeline, and learn from the errors Fox committed.  The continuity needs to be solid, the characters need to look, act and sound like they stepped from the pages of the original comics, and the characters need to have the same connections they do in the comics.  Hopefully, with time and some common sense, that’s what Marvel will give us.  So, that’s the ramble over for this month.  Until next time, ta-ta for now.

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Gotham: Season 1 (3 of 4)

Episode 13: Welcome Back, Jim Gordon

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Following the failed attempt to oust Falcone, Fish Mooney is tortured by Falcone's interrogator, Bob. Meanwhile, Gordon and Bullock work with narcotics detective Arnold Flass on a homicide case where the victim is a known drug dealer. They interrogate Leon Winkler, who witnessed the homicide. While waiting for an interrogation, Winkler is killed with an icepick by an unknown man.

Butch manages to free himself and Mooney from their captors. Gordon interrogates Narcotics Officer Derek Delaware about his role in the guard duty. He arrests him when he finds drugs in his car, the same type as in the victim's shoe. However, as the search is illegal, Essen orders Delaware freed and removes Gordon and Bullock from the case. Bullock explains that Flass and the narcotics unit are all dealing drugs on the side, and they are protected from official reprisals. In the file room, Flass mocks a letter Nygma wrote for Miss Kringle. She later apologizes to Ed for Flass' behaviour.

Cobblepot surprises his mother with the nightclub and makes her a singer in the club. Gordon visits and asks for a favour from Cobblepot to get information about Flass. After Penguin sends everybody else home, he closes the nightclub and begins to celebrate, when he's surprised by Mooney. She starts to beat him with a baseball bat when Victor Zsasz and his henchmen arrive. Butch sacrifices himself so Mooney can escape.

Bruce, having returned from Switzerland, runs into Ivy Pepper in the streets. He asks after Selina and Ivy arranges a meeting for twenty dollars. Selina visits him in Wayne Manor, where she says she lied and doesn't know who killed his parents and tells him to never contact her again.

Cobblepot has his henchman extort Delaware by threatening to kill his wife to get information about Flass. The henchman then gives Delaware's confession on tape and the murder weapon to Gordon, and Flass is arrested for the murder of both victims. Later, Bullock reunites with Mooney, who's planning to flee town and lie low. They part with a kiss. Gordon is approached by Delaware to beg Gordon not to harm his family. Gordon sees that the favour Cobblepot gave him now makes him look like he's dirty and someone to be feared.

Review:

The episode opens on a bit of a low point, as from the way the previous episode ended, I was expecting to find Mooney’s club in disarray, Cobblepot injured and Mooney on the run.  Instead, Mooney and Butch are both captured initially, so what was the “shoot-out” referred to at the end of episode 12?  Where were the officers crawling all over the place and interrogating people?  This is perhaps one of the most disjointed episode-shifts we could have been handed, at least in my view.

This aside, the episode largely treads old territory with a new face or two as Jim Gordon goes against the flow to tackle police corruption.  The inclusion of Flass from classic Batman: Year One lore that underpinned the first film in the Nolan trilogy is a nice touch, and we get some decent development of all our other on-going plot-lines.  However, I think we could have done with a more consistent episode opening based more directly on the close of the last episode.  Overall, I think this episode is worth 7 out of 10.

Episode 14: The Fearsome Dr. Crane

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

A man, identified in the subsequent episode to this as Dr Gerald Crane, hangs another man from a building and kills him by hanging him off the building before hauling him back to the roof and stealing his adrenal glands. While Cobblepot dines with Maroni, the latter receives a call from Mooney, where she tells him Cobblepot works for Falcone. Maroni then takes Cobblepot on a road trip.

Gordon finds Selina in Barbara’s apartment as he goes to return his keys. She says to him that she lied about Wayne's murderer and then flees. He visits Bruce, who tells him that he relieves Gordon of his promise to find his parents' killers and that he will investigate the case himself. Cobblepot is taken to a shack in the woods where Maroni reveals the information Mooney gave him. Cobblepot takes Maroni's gun and attempts to shoot him, but the bullets turn out to be blank. Maroni knocks him unconscious.

Nygma is suspended after performing an examination on a corpse by the medical examiner, as Nygma’s forensics role means he is not authorised to conduct autopsies. The killer kidnaps a man afraid of pigs but Gordon and Bullock find the man in a hideout. Receiving a tip that all of a recent group of victims were related to a phobia support group, Harvey investigates, and unbeknownst to him is introduced to the killer as a group member using the name "Tod". During the meeting, Tod lures the group leader away and tries to kill the woman by drowning her (her phobia) but he's stopped by Gordon and Bullock. They manage to save the woman, but "Tod" escapes.

Maroni takes Cobblepot to a car compactor, where he locks him in a car so he will die slowly in the crusher. Cobblepot calls from the car to the man who controls the compactor and threatens to have him killed by Falcone's men if he doesn't shut the compactor down. The car compactor operator stops the machine and flees. Maroni follows the operator, and Oswald escapes in the confusion. Nygma frames the medical examiner by making it look like he stole body parts, ensuring his own reinstatement. Cobblepot is then found by a group of church women on a bus to Gotham and accepts an offer of a ride home. Meanwhile, the ship carrying Mooney is captured by a group of mercenaries. The episode ends as Mooney and one of the mercenaries prepare to fight.

Review:

While Penguin’s plot develops nicely to allow him to reconcile claiming Mooney’s club with his undercover assignment, albeit not to his own taste, it’s a little flawed.  Given Penguin’s gamesmanship in the “Penguin’s Umbrella” episode and other instalments, it seems a bit amateurish for him not to consider that Maroni might have loaded the gun he found with blanks.  For that matter, why grab the gun at all when he could have suggested that Mooney was just stirring things up out of spite?  In turn, we get a new side-plot developing for Mooney herself, while the investigation of the Wayne murders becomes more Bruce’s plot than Jim Gordon’s, at least for now.

Speaking of Jim, we get the first half of an interesting proto-Scarecrow story for him and Bullock, and at the same time, we keep seeing good development for Nygma and his budding attraction to police archivist Miss Kringle.  As such, it’s a decent overall episode, but nothing that really wows at this point.  On balance, 8 out of 10 seems about right.

Episode 15: The Scarecrow

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Fish Mooney has been captured and is locked up in a rowdy prison-like area. Meanwhile, Dr Gerald Crane continues experimenting with his anti-fear toxin, experiencing his wife’s death in a house fire over again. Falcone decides to put an end to Cobblepot's debt to Maroni. He meets with him and Maroni agrees to end his feud with Falcone and forswears vengeance on Oswald, as long as he receives the services of a judge in Falcone's pocket. Falcone tells Cobblepot he also has to redecorate the nightclub, as Falcone is giving it to him to run. Falcone reminds Oswald that without cash flow, they lose influence, and without influence, their organization becomes a house of cards.

After receiving information from Nygma, Gordon and Bullock discover that Crane created the toxin after his wife's death, hoping that people could use it to overcome all fear. Bruce goes on a trip to the forest to challenge himself but runs into difficulties. He's then joined by Alfred, who tells him that he came looking for him, but decided to let him crawl the last hundred yards up the hill on his own, to let Bruce develop his independence. Cobblepot is visited later by Maroni, who tells him that when Falcone dies, Cobblepot will die too.

At the Crane’s burned out old house, Dr Crane injects his son Jonathan with a high level of the toxin when Gordon and Bullock arrive and prompt him to rush, causing Jonathan to have a breakdown featuring the scarecrow near the house. Gordon and Bullock locate them, and when Gerald opens fire and proclaims himself without fear, Gordon and Bullock return fire, killing him and taking Jonathan to a hospital. In the prison, Mooney kills Mace, the prisoner's leader, and promises to protect the other prisoners, who, it turns out are having their organs harvested for sale. In the hospital, Gordon is notified by the doctor that although Jonathan will live, he will forever be forced to see his fears permanently due to the high level of toxin used on him. The episode ends as Jonathan is tormented by visions of scarecrows.

Review:

The second part of our Scarecrow prologue story is much better than the first, so much so that the mundane elements of the on-going gang situations, Mooney’s side-plot and the developing Bruce-Alfred dynamic aren’t too much of a drag.  In fact, they probably provide just the right amount of alleviation from the main plot, which is very much a strong effort at tapping into the horror element inherent in the Scarecrow.  No idea at the moment if the show ever comes back to Scarecrow with Jonathan Crane later in the series, but I’ll be keeping an eye out for this prospect when I get to the later seasons.  For now, I think I’ll give this episode top marks for doing so well on the main plot.  10 out of 10, no question.

Episode 16: The Blind Fortune Teller

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Barbara Kean returns to her apartment to see Selina Kyle and Ivy Pepper squatting there. Selina adds James Gordon left his keys and Barbara says "screw him". Gordon and Leslie “Lee” Thompkins have a date at the Haly's Circus. However, during a performance, several performers have a fight between their respective families, the Graysons and Lloyds. Gordon and Lee visit the supposed reason for the fight, snake dancer Lila Valeska, in her trailer only to be received by her son, Jerome, who reports he had not seen her since the morning. They then discover her corpse in a cart and Gordon accuses the ringmaster. The ringmaster admits having discovered the corpse earlier, but did not say anything so as to not interfere with the show, planning on giving her a funeral later.

In the prison, Fish Mooney acts as the leader of the inmates so they can break free. When the guards arrive to escort a prisoner for organ harvesting, Mooney has her crew beat the prisoner to death so it's now worthless as an organ donor. When Fish defies the jailer's orders, they say the "manager" would like to talk to her. Alfred Pennyworth discovers Bruce Wayne investigating Wayne Enterprises, claiming he's discovered corruption within the company.

Gordon and Lee then interrogate circus psychic Paul Cicero, who claims to hear Lila from "beyond". They bring in Jerome too, where Gordon accuses him of murdering Lila, as Cicero had been trying to mislead the police with clues about the murder weapon, and Jim figures he's protecting someone. Jerome denies everything, but when it is revealed that Cicero is his father, he begins to laugh maniacally. He finally admits he killed his mother for being a "whore", and Gordon arrests him. Later, the two warring circus families reconcile when John Grayson and Mary Lloyd get engaged.

Barbara tries to get Gordon back, but changes her mind when she sees him kissing Lee in the police station locker room. In Oswald Cobblepot's nightclub, Victor Zsasz visits Cobblepot to tell him that Carmine Falcone is unhappy with how business at the club has been going, and that Oswald may not be the right person to manage the club. Cobblepot seems afraid for his safety, until Victor reveals a brainwashed Butch Gilzean and says he is now in service to Cobblepot, having worked on him on "his basement for a few weeks". Bruce visits the Wayne Enterprises board to confront them about the cases of corruption and their involvement in Arkham Plan, although they deny everything. In the prison, the guard Thomas Schmidt tells Mooney that the manager wants to meet with her.

Review:

From proto-Scarecrow to a character that I believe is intended to be a kind of proto-Joker, albeit one hiding amid the world of Haley’s Circus and the Flying Graysons, so even in a time before Bruce is Batman, we’re getting a great nod to the original Robin.  It makes for another interesting episode that nicely gives fans of the source material more to enjoy, especially as a break from the other on-going plots we’ve had throughout the season.  Finally, we’re starting to see some realisation that a show like this needs a little of the episodic in its narrative as well as the serialised plot threads.  It’s not quite up to the standard of the previous episode, but it’s close, so 9 out of 10 for this one.

Episode 17: Red Hood

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

A criminal gang commits a bank heist, with one of the gang, Gus Floyd, wearing a red hood instead of a standard balaclava. Gus gains extra confidence from wearing the hood, using it to sway the crowd before throwing money at them to distract the arriving police. He also evades gunfire from the bank guard and believes it was down to the hood, but in reality, the guard refused to wear glasses that he needed.

Gordon and Bullock review the bank’s surveillance footage. They speculate that there was a test staged of police response time with a smoke bomb sometime before, and they deduce where the gang could be found since one of them wore a Kleg's Auto shop uniform. The gang reconvenes at the shop and Floyd says that whoever wears the red mask should lead the gang. Gang member Clyde Destro kills Floyd and takes the mask as a prize. Gordon and Bullock discover Floyd's body in a refrigerator at the shop. Destro is identified by a witness, and Gordon and Bullock use his release as a ploy to trail him to the gang. Destro is wounded by a member of the gang, and the red mask is taken as a prize. Gordon and Bullock find Destro who turns on the gang and reveals all about them. The GCPD get into a shootout and all of the gang are killed.

Fish Mooney is brought to an office manager. He says he is not the official owner of the prison as the real doctor, "Dulmacher", is away in Gotham. When he tells her that her eyes would be of high value and tries to extract one, she removes her eye herself with a spoon and steps onto it, making it now worthless. Meanwhile, Cobblepot struggles to keep his club stocked with booze as Maroni controls all alcohol distribution in that area of the city. Cobblepot plans to heist the booze, but Butch is able to spare him the effort by having some police officers in his employ “confiscate” the alcohol.

In Wayne Manor, Alfred receives the visit from an old SAS friend Reggie Payne, who had been arrested for sleeping in the streets. Bruce lets him stay a few days. However, at night, Payne steals some files from Wayne Enterprises and Bruce's notes. Alfred finds him and while they argue, Payne stabs him and flees. Luckily, Bruce finds Alfred in time to call an ambulance and apply pressure to the wound until Alfred is taken to the hospital. Payne later gives the information to the Wayne Enterprises board, for which he receives a payment. In the streets, a boy finds the red mask and upon wearing it, he mimics shooting at the police.

Review:

While the character of Jerome was a kind of proto-Joker in terms of his character, this episode gives us another element of Joker lore by giving us an origin to the Red Hood gang.  Ever since Alan Moore wrote the graphic novel The Killing Joke, the idea of the Joker once being a member of this gang that fell into chemicals and went insane has been the definitive origin, despite Moore’s insistence that the story wasn’t meant to be comic-verse canon.  As such, it’s quite fun to see this gang shown as something that already existed before any Joker ever arose.  Meanwhile, Mooney’s side plot gets a bit more interesting for me due to the inclusion of Trek alumni Jeffrey Combs, who also voice-acted Scarecrow in the third season of Batman: The Animated Series.  His role in this show isn’t huge, but it’s still cool seeing him in this.

At the same time, we’re given quite a dramatic twist to Bruce’s on-going storyline, though it takes a while to really get to that drama.  Overall, this is a decent episode, but in places some of the more on-going plots are starting to drag and I’m hoping they get resolved sooner rather than later.  In some ways, I think the show would have benefitted from less on-going plot threads and more “case-of-the-week” ones in this first season.  In any event, I’ll give this one a respectable medium of 8 out of 10.

Episode 18: Everyone Has A Cobblepot

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Alfred wakes up in the hospital but refuses to tell James Gordon that Reggie Payne was responsible for his stabbing. In the prison's nursery, Mooney is visited by Dr Francis Dulmacher. Mooney wants to be his second-hand, based on her experiences with Falcone. Dulmacher gives Mooney a new sky-blue irised eye, and the opportunity to prove herself worthy of working as his right-hand woman.

Gordon discovers from Essen and Dent that Commissioner Loeb has released Arnold Flass from jail. When he confronts Loeb, Loeb shows him a video of the witness: Bullock. Bullock was blackmailed by Loeb because on Falcone's orders, he was directed to kill a rival mobster, and unlike Gordon, he executed the man. Gordon and Dent question an ex-partner of Loeb's, Charlie Griggs, where they get an address for a Triad bookmaker named Xi Lu.

Gordon and Dent arrive at a Chinese restaurant and find Xi Lu and his bookmaking operations. When Lu denies any involvement, Dent threatens him, which prompts Lu to send his employees to kill them. They're saved by Bullock, who realizes Griggs lied to them. After nearly killing him, Griggs reveals Loeb has ties with Falcone. After receiving help from Cobblepot, they arrive at a farm owned by Loeb. There, they find a couple, Jude and Marge, keeping the house. Jim and Harvey claim to be inspectors for Loeb, but Jude and Marge open fire which ends with Jude being shot by Bullock and Marge knocked unconscious.

In the attic of the farm house, they discover Loeb's daughter Miriam locked up. When they question her, she reveals she killed Loeb's wife years before. Gordon then visits Loeb in his office, threatening to expose his lies unless he sends Flass back to jail for a fair trial and erases all his blackmailing evidence. Loeb agrees only to hand over the evidence on Bullock as ratting out his other blackmailees would endanger his life. However, Gordon is able to also get Loeb to endorse him for president of the policeman’s union, a role which Loeb would originally have endorsed Flass for.

Nygma tries to ask Kringle for a date, but is heartbroken as he realizes she has a boyfriend, Officer Tom Dougherty. Cobblepot brings Jude and Marge to the nightclub so they can get relocated before Loeb kills them. When Cobblepot reveals he only has one getaway ticket to Arizona, Marge kills Jude. Cobblepot then reveals that he lied because he was down to one shotgun shell and kills Marge with the last shell.

Mooney later sees that Dulmacher altered the office manager's body to female parts. She is later forced to give some of the inmates to Dulmacher so that they can come to terms. Later, while in his office, Mooney is shocked when she finds out the prison is on an island, making her escape even more difficult.

Review:

With this episode, we’re back to Jim dealing with the old police corruption again, and in a turn that will shock no one, Penguin is involved along with Falcone.  This is what I’m talking about when it comes to the show’s serialised elements; it has so many in the first season that various aspects keep repeating themselves instead of progressing into any really new territory.  The only different is that now Gordon seems to be heading for a position in the GCPD where he might make a more substantive difference and some new ground might actually be broken.  The only real development of note here is the secret of Commissioner Loeb’s daughter, and otherwise it’s all just keeping the other plot threads ticking over.  That said, the scene where Penguin dupes the old couple at the end was quite amusing in that dark way that Penguin can be amusing at times.  That alone makes the earlier parts of this episode worth watching despite some of the repetitive elements.  Despite that, however, I think 7 out 10 is the best I can give this episode.

[phantom-le6]

Ramble of the month August 2024: 90’s MCU phase 7 – the Infinity War aftermath and prelude to Secret Invasion

Well, we’re back to looking into my alternate MCU that begins in the 1990’s but is rapidly catching up to our present day.  For those new to my Tumblr page who perhaps haven’t read any of my rambles on this subject, and for those who may just need a refresher, here’s a quick over-view of the underlying premise.  This is a hypothetical MCU slate, complete with fan-casting, which I’ve done both for fun and to show up the flaws in 90’s MCU memes.  What are those flaws?  Very simply, if the MCU had begun in the 1990’s, Marvel would have had all their film rights instead of just some, certain source material used by the real MCU would not exist and a number of characters/teams would be quite different.

With that quick summation out of the way, let’s quickly re-cap the film run for phases 1 through 6 of this hypothetical MCU.

Phase 1:

1992: Fantastic Four, Hulk, Iron Man

1993: Thor, Spider-Man, Ant-Man & The Wasp

1994: Captain America, Fantastic Four 2, Iron Man 2

1995: X-Men, Avengers, Daredevil

Phase 1 established the initial characters of our MCU, putting the Fantastic Four first and foremost to bring them in line with their comic-book counterparts before beginning to develop the Avengers, the X-Men, Spider-Man and Daredevil.

Phase 2:

1996: Spider-Man 2, Thor: Land of Enchantment, Silver Surfer

1997: Hulk vs Wolverine, Fantastic Four: Doomsday, Iron Man 3

1998: Captain America: Society of Serpents, Daredevil 2, X-Men 2

1999: Avenger 2, Spider-Man 3, Doctor Strange

Phase 2 provides expansion as not only do most heroes get solo and ensemble sequels, but other characters start to take on films of their own.  The Silver Surfer is spun off from his appearance in Fantastic Four 2 into a solo film while Doctor Strange is introduced, and we also see the first examples of the “third film loss” trope, including Stark’s loss of his business and Iron Man persona through alcoholism, Doctor Doom destroying the Baxter Building while Ben Grimm loses a chance to be human, and Peter Parker loses Gwen Stacy.

Phase 3:

2000: Fantastic Four: World War III, Thor: Ragnarök, Daredevil 3

2001: Hulk: Rise of the Leader, X-Men: Fall of the Mutants, Avengers: Under Siege

2002: Doctor Strange 2, The Captain, Spider-Man 4

2003: Captain Britain, Fantastic Four: Enter the Negative Zone, Ghost Rider

Phase 3 further put our heroes on the back foot with yet more loss, most notably assaults on the X-Mansion and Avengers Mansion, but we also see more expansion; Namor, the Black Panther and the Inhumans all get introduced via the Fantastic Four, who then go on to become a family via the birth of Franklin Richards, and both Captain Britain and Ghost Rider get added to the mix.

Phase 4:

2004: Black Panther, Captain Marvel, Secret Wars: Part I

2005: Excalibur, Defenders, Ghost Rider 2

2006: X-Factor, Secret Wars: Part II, Heroes For Hire

2007: Namor the Submariner, Doctor Strange 3, Iron Man: Enter The Mandarin

Phase 4 took us through Secret Wars, and along the way gave us a lot more characters.  Black Panther and the original, pre-Carol Danvers iteration of Captain Marvel get solo films, former X-Men become parts of spin-off teams, and we see the formation of the Defenders and a one-shot of the Heroes For Hire, not to mention a Namor solo film and the return of Tony Stark.

Phase 5:

2008: Spider-Man 5, Fantastic Four: Unthinkable, Ms Marvel

2009: Elektra, Black Panther 2, Defenders 2

2010: X-Men: Proteus, Spider-Man 6, Ant-Man 2

2011: Silver Surfer 2, Avengers vs X-Men, Ghost Rider 3

Phase 5 gave us the Black Suit saga for Spider-Man as an aftermath of Secret Wars over the web-slinger’s fifth and sixth solo films, while the Fantastic Four’s sixth film would also be their last as we began the Infinity Saga.  In turn, Carol Danvers and a resurrected Elektra gained solo films, with the former precipitating an Avengers vs X-Men clash.

Phase 6:

2012: Guardians of the Galaxy, Black Panther 3, Iron Man: The Dragon Seed Saga

2013: X-Men: Phoenix Rising, Defenders 3, Ant-Man 3

2014: X-Men: Dark Phoenix Saga, Infinity War, Blade

2015: Inhumans, Infinity War II, Deadpool

Phase 6 concluded the Infinity Saga while also removing Jean Grey and Cyclops from being active in the MCU via the Phoenix and Dark Phoenix sagas being adapted into a film duology.  We also add Blade to the MCU, and the Inhumans finally gained their own film, while several solo and group film franchises reached their third and final instalments.

This then brings us to phase 7, which brings us into the main aftermath of the Infinity Saga and begins set-up for a Secret Invasion film in phase 8.  How does it do this?  Well, let’s look at my proposed slate for the phase.

Phase 7:

2016: Union Jack, Silver Surfer 3, Iron-Man/Spider-Man: Legacy

2017: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Blade 2, Ghost Rider Returns

2018: Eternals, Deadpool 2, New Avengers

2019: X-Men: Days of Future Past, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3, Blade 3

As you can see, this slate is heavy in sequels, but with a few new things being worked in, beginning with the opening film of the phase.

Union Jack (2016) Directed by Matthew Vaughan

Joseph Chapman/Union Jack III = Rob Mallard

Brian Folsworth = Ben Hardy

Jacqueline Folsworth/Union Jack II = Lily James

Lord James Folsworth/Union Jack I = Hugh Bonneville

John Falsworth/Baron Blood = Rupert Everett

Kaecilius = Irrfan Khan

Steven Levens/Jack O'Lantern = Duane Henry

Jim Jaspers = JJ Field

Lily Cromwell = Emilia Clarke

Jack Chapman = Michael Le Vell

Kate Fletcher = Isabel Hodgins

Steve Rogers/Captain America = Brad Pitt

Matthew Vaughan of X-Men: First Class directing fame is at the helm for the film that introduces another flag-wearing British superhero to our MCU, though Union Jack is a different type of hero to Captain Britain, especially once Joseph Chapman inherits the role from the Folsworth family.  Union Jack is a highly skilled fighter without super-human abilities, the original in the comics fighting alongside Captain America and others during World War 2 on a team called the Invaders.  This film version would make a nod to this, hence Brad Pitt reprising his role as Captain America in flashback scenes.  However, the main focus is on Joseph becoming Union Jack.

The other point of distinctions between Union Jack and Captain Britain is that Union Jack is also a vampire hunter, owing to the brother of the first Union Jack having a brother who became a vampire and who was also a Nazi, and while Brian Braddock is from upper class privilege like the Folsworths, Joseph Chapman is a working-class lad from Manchester.  These differences are key to how the film separates itself from prior films for Captain Britain and Excalibur, and also explains some of my casting choices.  I’ve purposely looked up actors from the Manchester-based soap opera Coronation Street to play Joseph and two film-original characters related to him (his father Jack and ex-girlfriend Kate), while casting people from more southern English backgrounds to play the Folsworth family and other English characters.  Some of the character relationships within the Folsworth family are slightly altered due to the greater span of time between the film and World War 2 compared with Union Jack’s introduction via Captain America comic in the 1980’s.

Silver Surfer 3 (2016) Directed by JJ Abrams

Silver Surfer = David Wenham

Galactus = Tony Todd

Shalla Bal = Liv Tyler

Terrax = Vincent Regan

Firelord = Peter Mensah

Frankie Raye/Nova = Isla Fisher

Ego the Living Planet = Peter Capaldi

The Silver Surfer has worked his way through a Fantastic Four-based introduction into a wide-spread solo run, with appearances in the Defenders and the Infinity War films, and here the time comes to wrap up his story.  Why?  To help set aspects of the cosmic stage to better facilitate the eventual roll around of Secret Invasion.  To that end, the Surfer finds himself dragged into the affairs of Galactus once more when the devourer of worlds clashes with Ego the Living Planet.  To resolve the situation, the Surfer must seek out and ally with other former heralds of Galactus, and his reward?  Hopefully a return to his home planet to be reunited with Shalla Bal.

Now for those who only know the films of Marvel, Ego is not supposed to be Peter Quill’s dad, hence why I’ve put him in this film and not a Guardians of the Galaxy production.  In terms of directing, I’ve put JJ Abrams in charge on this occasion.  The Surfer, Galactus and Shalla Bal are all returning actors, which the other roles are all freshly cast.

Iron Man/Spider-Man: Legacy (2016) Directed by Jon Watts

Peter Parker/Spider-Man = Wil Weaton

James Rhodes/War Machine/Iron Man II = Samuel L. Jackson

Mary-Jane Watson-Parker = Alison Hannigan

Flash Thompson = Ben Affleck

Randy Robertson = Taye Diggs

Harry Osborn = Ryan Phillipe

Liz Allen-Osborn = Alicia Silverstone

Sha Shan Nguyen = Grace Park

Principal Harrington = Viggo Mortensen

Mrs Arbogast = Kathleen Turner

Abe Zimmer = John Billingsley

Felix Alvarez = Adam Rodriguez

Vic Martinelli = Matt LeBlanc

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Amadeus Cho/Iron Man III = Charles Melton

Ganke Lee = Jacob Batalon

Aaron Davis/Prowler = Donald Glover

Rio Morales = Penélope Cruz

Jefferson Davis = Eriq La Salle

Dr Helen Cho = Ming-Na Wen

Aldrich Killian = Guy Pearce

Ava Ayala = Cierra Ramirez

Anya Corazon = Alejandra Reynoso

Carolyn Trainer/Doctor Octopus II = Ruby Rose

Sunset Bain/Madame Menace = Peyton List

With this MCU’s version of Tony Stark having been played by Tom Selleck, and following RDJ’s lead of sacrificing himself in the Infinity Saga, this film was about doing a couple of mantle hand-overs in one.  Following Infinity War II, Rhodey is trying to be Iron Man and support Peter, who Tony has asked to take over the running of Stark Enterprises based on Peter’s scientific expertise.  The problem is Peter is struggling to balance being a business leader, a husband, a father-to-be and a superhero.  Something has to give, especially when villains like Aldrich Killian and Madame Menace enter the picture, along with criminals like the Prowler and a would-be successor to Doc Ock.  Luckily, successors wait in the wings; during a field trip of students from Peter’s old high school, student Miles Morales gains spider-powers of his own, while Amadeus Cho manages to commandeer a suit of Iron Man armour.

While the Miles Morales story line is largely straight-forward adapting of that source material at the right time into this MCU, working out Iron Man’s succession is more original-to-film story writing.  In the comics, Amadeus becomes a new version of the Hulk, but I never liked that idea.  Largely, this is because the computer game Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction posited in between-mission material that gamma-based transformations are psychologically unique, which would mean only Banner can be the Hulk because the various Hulk personas he had changed into are unique to him.  By comparison, the Ultimate Spider-Man animated series gave Cho the role of Iron Spider after being given the Iron Spider armour by Peter.  As such, putting Cho in the Iron Man armour makes sense for this film universe given that animation precedent and my disagreement with the idea of any Hulk-type transformation being repeated over multiple characters.

Directorially, I put the MCU’s Spider-Man director Jon Watts in charge for this film, and just to clarify, the Peyton List playing Madame Menace is not Peyton Roi List of Jessie and Cobra Kai fame, but the Peyton List who played Poison Ivy in the Batman-based TV series Gotham.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017) Directed by James Gunn

Peter Quill/Star-Lord = Chris Pratt

Drax the Destroyer = Dean Cain

Groot = Vin Diesel

Rocket = Bradley Cooper

Hepzibah = Kirsty Swanson

Raza = Dominic Keating

Nebula = Emma Stone

Yondu = Michael Rooker

Mantis = Midu

Simon Williams/Wonder Man = Taylor Kitsch

Nova Prime Irani Rael = Rene Russo

Nova Centurion Richard Ryder = Edward Norton

Brother Royal = Chris Klein

J'Son = Kurt Russell

Blood Brother Gh'Ree = Matthew Perry

Blood Brother R'Hos = David Schwimmer

Czar Doon = Woody Harrelson

Delphinia = Karen Gillan

Raksor = Tom Hardy

Misa = Naomie Harris

While I’m still keeping James Gunn in charge of directing Guardians of the Galaxy films in this hypothetical MCU, I really think his second and third films had quite a few flaws.  Having already made changes in the first film based on other elements in this MCU, the second is going to be even more different.  Peter learning about his paternal heritage remains the plot, but this time we go accurate-to-source by using J’Son from the comics instead of Ego.  I also worked in Raza and Hepzibah from the Starjammers of X-Men Shi’ar fame and human superhero Wonder Man, while also putting J’Son into an alliance with the Badoon, a Marvel alien race that have appeared as villains since the Guardians were a team from the distant future instead of distant space.  Friends’ fans may note that Ross and Chandler, or more accurately David Schwimmer and Matthew Perry get roles in this film, following in the footsteps of Matt Le Blanc and Courtney Cox.  This only leaves Jennifer Aniston (who is anti-superhero, so I won’t use her on any fan-cast I do) and Lisa Kudrow (who I just can’t think of a suitable part for).

Blade 2 (2017) Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Eric Brooks/Blade = Jamie Foxx

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Ganke Lee = Jacob Batalon

Rio Morales = Penélope Cruz

Jefferson Davis = Eriq La Salle

Felicia Hardy/The Black Cat = Elisha Cuthbert

Hannibal King = Stephen Amell

Safron Caulder = Freema Agyeman

Joseph Chapman/Union Jack III = Rob Mallard

Michael Morbius = Chris Diamantopoulos

Martine Bancroft = Léa Seydoux

Emil Nikos = Jason David Frank

For the first Blade film in this alternate MCU, I gave Blade his original film but with a more comics-accurate supporting cast.  This time, it’s a team-up between Blade and the new Spider-Man Miles Morales to deal with pseudo-vampire Michael Morbius.  The film show Blade and Miles tracking Morbius from New York back to his native Greece via a couple of other cities, including one in England that allows us to bring in Union Jack again.  Along the way, we also get the inclusion of Hannibal King and a return appearance by Felicia Hardy, AKA The Black Cat.  Unlike the 90’s animated series, Felicia doesn’t have a romantic link to Morbius, but her inclusion is very much a nod to that show.  For direction, I picked Guillermo del Toro as he also directed Blade 2 in the Wesley Snipes trilogy.

Ghost Rider Returns (2017) Directed by Marc Webb

Danny Ketch/Ghost Rider II = Andrew Garfield

Barbara Ketch = Genevieve Angelson

Francis Ketch = Elizabeth Perkins

Paula Harris = Ellen Hollman

Melissa Maro = Mila Kunis

Jack D'Auria = Robert Ri'chard

Jack Russell/Werewolf by Night = Scott Eastwood

Deathwatch = Jared Padalecki

Ebenezer Laughton/Scarecrow = Bill Skarsgård

Blackout/Ray Carrigan = Johnny Whitworth

Johnny Blaze = Connor Trinneer

Mephistopheles = Jeffery Combs

Over the years, the comics have seen three characters cursed to become the Ghost Rider; Johnny Blaze, Danny Ketch and Robbie Reyes.  Having done a trilogy for original Ghost Rider Blaze, this film is Ketch’s turn in the saddle, and since Wil Wheaton kept the role of Peter Parker throughout this MCU, that leaves Andrew Garfield free to play the latest Rider.  This film also features the Werewolf by Night, who together with former GR Blaze aids Ketch in dealing with villains Deathwatch, Scarecrow and Blackout, all under the watchful and conniving hand of Mephistopheles.  To direct the film, I put another form Spider-Man director, Marc Webb, in that position, and for those who may be wondering, Marvel does have a character named Scarecrow who is different to the Batman villain of the same name.  The Marvel version is a criminally insane killer who is a contortionist and has some skill in training birds.  This film would look to give the characters a supernatural element to these abilities for use against the Ghost Rider.

Eternals (2018) Directed by Matt Reeves

Sersi = Gemma Chan

Ikaris = Richard Madden

Gilgamesh = Don Lee

Thena = Rose Byrne

Sprite = Lia McHugh

Kingo = Kumail Nanjiani

Makkari = Lauren Ridloff

Phastos = Brian Tyree Henry

Ajak = Jennifer Lopez

Druig = Barry Keoghan

Arisham = David Kaye

Kro = Terry O'Quinn

Dane Whitman/Black Knight = Ioan Gruffudd

How does one take the Eternals and put them to film without repeating the mistakes by the real MCU?  First of all, this MCU has delved more into the branch of the Eternals that settled on Titan and became known as Titans, so we’ve got a better point of introduction the original film.  Second, we’ve also been introduced to the Black Knight via Captain Britian, and this character is used more to give us an audience POV that the other film could have done with.  Other plot elements would also be shifted so there’d be a bit less murder-mystery and more focus on establishing the characters, as well as a different conflict with the Deviants.  In short, the characters and film title are about the only things being translated over.  Direction-wise, I opted to go with Matt Reeves; his work on the later films in the Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy is of such quality that I think he can give us a lot of the world-building this film requires while also keeping audience sympathies with the title characters.

Deadpool 2 (2018) Directed by Tim Miller

Wade Wilson/Deadpool = Ryan Reynolds

Weasel = TJ Miller

Blind Al = Stockard Channing

Nathan Christopher Summers/Cable & Stryfe = Dennis Quaid

Domino = Morena Baccarin

James Proudstar/Warpath = Booboo Stewart

Theresa Rourke-Cassidy/Siryn = Sarah Bolger

Paige Guthrie/Husk = Kelly Stables

Roberto Da Costa/Sunspot = Mario Lopez

Tabita Smith/Boom Boom = Anna Faris

Rahne Sinclair/Wolfsbane = Bonnie Wright

Tyler Dayspring Summers/Genesis = Jack Quaid

Tempo = Zazie Beetz

Dragoness = Rila Fukushima

Reaper = Mena Massoud

Zero = Jiang Wen

Strobe = Elizabeth Olsen

Wildside = James McAvoy

Having gone more comics-accurate with this MCU’s first Deadpool film, the second takes a similar approach to Deadpool 2 by putting Deadpool in the middle of a conflict between X-Force and the Mutant Liberation Front, which is made more interesting by the complicating factor that Cable’s son Tyler is on the side of the villains and the MLF leader Stryfe is Cable’s clone.  Several X-Force members reprise their roles from past X-Men films while a few characters are kept from our first Deadpool film.  However, Cable, Stryfe, Domino, Tyler and the MLF membership are all new.  That said, I realised while writing this that Paul Walker, my original selection to play Sam Guthrie/Cannonball died back in 2013.  Rather than re-cast, I decided to have the character of Sam’s sister Paige step into the films in his stead, giving us another new face in the form of Kelly Stables.  The film also continues Deadpool’s somewhat one-sided romantic interest in Siryn.  Direction-wise, it’s back to Tim Miller of Deadpool 1 to keep things going on the sequel this time around.

New Avengers (2018) Directed by the Russo Brothers

Dr Stephen Strange = Johnny Depp

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Luke Cage = Tyrese Gibson

Scott Lang/Ant-Man II = Paul Rudd

Nadia Pym/Wasp II = Shailene Woodley

Spider-Woman/Jessica Drew = Anne Hathaway

Hawkeye II/Kate Bishop = Hailee Steinfeld

Miles Morales/Spider-Man II = Noah Gray-Cabey

Amadeus Cho/Iron Man III = Charles Melton

Kamala Khan/Ms Marvel = Odeya Rush

Kang The Conqueror = Colin Hanks

Princess Ravonna = Jenna Dewan

Electro/Max Dillon = Eddie Cahill

Carolyn Trainer/Doctor Octopus II = Ruby Rose

Jacques Duquesne/Swordsman = Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Janice Lincoln/Beetle = Naya Rivera

Rita DeMara/Yellowjacket II = Elisabeth Moss

Frank Simpson/Nuke = John Cena

Herman Schultz/Shocker = Patrick Muldoon

Whitney Frost/Madame Masque = Alice Eve

Rattler/Gustav Krueger = Christoph Waltz

Lonnie Lincoln/Tombstone = Wesley Snipes

Donald Pierce = Armie Hammer

Douglas Scott/Razorfist = Joe Manganiello

In this MCU, the Avengers have disbanded following the death of Tony Stark in the Infinity War films, but the need for the Avengers still remains.  This film brings that front-and-centre by showing the time-travelling villain Kang trying to alter history by causing a mass jailbreak, only to find himself at odds with a mix of new and existing heroes as a New Avengers line-up arises.  This film basically combines elements of New Avengers and Young Avengers into a single film, helmed by the Russo brothers to see how they would do putting a new Avengers team together.  Of course, as fans of mid-to-late 2000’s-era comics will know, this film will also ultimately play into Secret Invasion.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2019) Directed by Robert Zemeckis

Beast/Hank McCoy = Alec Baldwin

Storm/Ororo Monroe = Halle Berry

Peter Rasputin/Colossus = Henry Cavill

Kurt Wagner/Nightcrawler = Daniel Brühl

Rogue = Anna Paquin

Remi LeBeau/Gambit = Zachary Levi

Jubilee = Chloe Bennett

Emma Frost = Elizabeth Banks

Danielle Moonstar = Selena Gomez

Bishop = Winston Duke

Malcolm = Evan Peters

Randall = James Franco

Shard = Letitia Wright

Rachel Summers = Danielle Panabaker

Franklin Richards = Jeremy Renner

Trevor Fitzroy = Johnny Knoxville

Bantam = Sean Astin

Congressman Fred Duncan = Forest Whitaker

Congressman Rev. William Stryker = Eric Roberts

Lady Deathstrike = Tao Okamoto

Joanna Cargill/Frenzy = Amanda Nunes

Tower = Liam Hemsworth

David Canon/Whirlwind = Colin Cunningham

Wolverine/Logan = Tom Cruise

Dr Valerie Cooper = Malin Åkerman

Forge = Jimmy Smits

This version of Days of Future Past occupies a similar role in our MCU to its position in the comics, namely being the first major arc post-Dark Phoenix saga for the X-Men team.  In this version of the story, time-travelling future mutant Trevor Fitzroy and his diminutive lackey Bantam return to the present to interfere in a past assassination, hoping to make it more successful for mutant-kind.  To try and stop him, Bishop is forced to team up his XSE officers with the last of the X-Men to travel back and stop Fitzroy, though the X-Men of the future want to work with their past counterparts to stop the assassination altogether.

As part of this story being post-Dark Phoenix, this film is also our first without Xavier, Cyclops or Jean, and Wolverine only appears for scenes in the future era alongside an aged-up Forge.  This makes Forge the only character appearing as two versions of himself in the film.  Another change is using a mix of random mutants in place of Mystique’s Brotherhood, largely to keep the focus more on Fitzroy as the main villain and the conflict between Bishop’s group, the future X-Men and the latest present-day version of the team over how to resolve the situation.  To direct all this, I picked Robert Zemeckis because who better than the guy behind Back to the Future and the 2009 Disney version of A Christmas Carol to handle a time-travel story?  Also, I know Fitzroy is meant to be English and I’ve cast an American to play him, but I want to see what Knoxville can do with this character once he’s had some accent coaching.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (2019) Directed by James Gunn

Peter Quill/Star-Lord = Chris Pratt

Drax the Destroyer = Dean Cain

Groot = Vin Diesel

Rocket = Bradley Cooper

Hepzibah = Kirsty Swanson

Mantis = Midu

Simon Williams/Wonder Man = Taylor Kitsch

Kitty Pryde/Shadowcat = Selma Blair

Johnny Storm/Human Torch = David Spade

Professor Charles Xavier = Patrick Stewart

Princess/Empress Lilandra = Winona Ryder

Gladiator = Luke Hemsworth

Oracle = Pom Klementieff

Smasher = Randy Orton

Fang = Matthew Lawrence

Starbolt = Richard Armitage

Araki = Mark Hamill

Deathbird = Sunyata Palmer

Admiral Lord Samédàr = Rami Malek

Brood Queen = Alice Krige

Warstar = Peter Cullen/Dwayne Johnson

Hussar = Gina Carrano

Earthquake = Lee Pace

Manta = Olga Kurylenko

Polaris/Lorna Dane = Jeri Ryan

Robert Drake/Iceman = Michael Weatherley

Carol Danvers = Melissa Joan Hart

Heather Douglas/Moonstone = Anna Popplewell

Mentor = Michael McKean

Eros/Starfox = Joel McHale

Brood Clan-Master = Corey Stoll

Brood Warrior 1 = Jerry O'Connell

Brood Warrior 2 = Jason O'Mara

Brood Warrior 3 = Nathan Fillion

Brood Warrior 4 = Kari Wahlgren

Continuing the trend of getting this MCU’s Guardians to step away from the path of Gunn to do things a bit better, welcome to my alternate volume 3 for this space-faring group of outlaws.  I also continue my trend working things back towards what I know by making this film an adaptation of the X-Men’s Brood Saga arc, up to and including the Brood giving Carol Danvers new powers following the theft of her old powers by Rogue.  The key differences are that now it’s the Guardians of the Galaxy coming to the rescue, bolstered by the presence of Kitty Pryde and Johnny Storm, while also working in a few X-Men alumni as possible Brood victims.  The Titans and the Shi’ar also play big roles this time round.

Blade 3 (2019) Directed by Guillermo del Toro

Eric Brooks/Blade = Jamie Foxx

Danny Ketch/Ghost Rider II = Andrew Garfield

Jack Russell/Werewolf by Night = Scott Eastwood

Daimon Hellstrom = James Van Der Beek

Hannibal King = Stephen Amell

Nina Price/Vampire by Night = Anya Taylor-Joy

Satana Hellstrom = Krysten Ritter

Elsa Bloodstone = Georgie Henley

Vlad Tepish/Dracula = Mads Mikkelsen

Lilith = Felicity Jones

Taj Nital = Jay Chandrasekhar

To close out phase 7 of this alternate MCU, I’ve brought back Guillermo del Toro to direct a better version of a Blade vs Dracula clash than we got with Blade Trinity.  This includes Blade teaming up with a few other supernatural heroes, marking a prelude to something I have on my phase 8 slate, and of course a better casting for Dracula than we got in Trinity.  The aim with having Mikkelsen play Dracula is to land on something like the later Marvel comics version of Dracula who appears in red armour and with a white ponytail, rather than the more stereotypical version of earlier comics.

That concludes our phase 7 tour of my hypothetical 90’s-commenced MCU, leaving only two phases left before it all wraps up.  Next month’s ramble will be looking at another fan-cast project I’ve had, and phase 8 of this MCU should be on my November ramble, with October’s topic yet to be decided.  Until my next ramble, ta-ta for now.

[phantom-le6]

Episode Reviews - Gotham: Season 1 (2 of 4)

Episode 07: Penguin’s Umbrella

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

Mooney, outraged to know Cobblepot is alive, tells Butch to bring Gordon to her. In the GCPD locker room, Gordon calls Barbara, telling her to meet him at the bus station as soon as possible. He is then attacked by Bullock, who plans to kill him and bring his body to Falcone as a clemency. Gordon admits he has made an error but has a plan to fix it, but Bullock leaves, believing they are both dead men walking now. Gordon returns to his apartment to find Barbara held hostage by Butch and an enforcer. When Butch threatens to kill Barbara, he kills the enforcer and knocks out Butch. He then takes Barbara to a bus station, telling her to leave Gotham for a time.

Gordon tries to get an arrest warrant for Falcone and Mayor James but finds little support from Essen. Mooney and Nikolai, meanwhile, push for Falcone to have Cobblepot and Gordon both handed over for execution. Falcone insists that they politely ask Maroni to hand over Cobblepot, then sends Victor Zsasz to bring Gordon to him, but Gordon is saved by Montoya and Allen. Cobblepot, Frankie Carbone and some henchmen arrive at a warehouse where they kill Nikolai. When Carbone reveals his intent to murder Cobblepot, Cobblepot then reveals Carbone's henchmen have allied with him for a raise, and stabs him fatally. Later, Maroni and Falcone come to a compromise over Cobblepot after a series of attacks on each other, the killing of Nikolai being one such attack.

Gordon, now backed up by Bullock, goes to arrest the mayor and then Falcone, but when they arrive, Falcone claims he has Barbara. After a talk, Gordon relents in order to free Barbara, and both he and Bullock are pardoned by Falcone. Later, Falcone is visited at his mansion by Cobblepot. In flashbacks to the day Falcone saved Gordon and Bullock, he talked with an imprisoned Cobblepot, curious as to any other secrets he possessed. In exchange for these, Cobblepot requested being assigned to Gordon for his execution, in hopes of being spared to integrate into Maroni's circle. Learning that Mooney and Nikolai had been planning to kill him and usurp him, Falcone remarks that their present plans have played out well, but that he considers Gordon concerning. Oswald, however, thanks him for the gesture, suggesting that Gordon has a further role to play in their endeavours.

Review:

This is an interesting episode that nicely, albeit slightly awkwardly, wraps up the Cobblepot murder cover-up.  It would have been better if there was slightly more in terms of a reaction from Montoya and Allen, going through a little due process to exonerate Gordon, etc. before diving into the underworld ramifications.  On the plus side, self-scaring Batman rogue Zsasz makes his debut for the series in this episode, so we get another chance to see a Batman villain in this pre-Batman era.

Even better than this, though, is we get to see more of Penguin’s ability to scheme, plan and predict at work.  Despite the occasional mistake here and there, it’s evident that Cobblepot has impressive skills in this area, which makes the mob-centric side of events more fun to watch.  Otherwise, not a huge amount to say.  Good episode, but the omission of certain likely consequences from the previous episode’s cliffhanger ending means it’s not quite a top scorer.  I’d give this one about 8 out of 10.

Episode 08: The Mask

Plot (as given by me):

In the wake of being pardoned by Falcone, Gordon and Bullock investigate a homicide when a dead body dressed in office attire is found near the river.  Even stranger, the victim has a severed thumb in his mouth.  As the two officers investigate, Gordon continues to shun aid from fellow GCPD officers or purposely rubs them the wrong way as retribution for their lack of support against Zsasz and Falcone.  Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne returns to school for the first time since his parents’ murder, and he soon finds himself on the receiving end of some bullying, led by fellow student Thomas Elliot.  Back at her apartment, Barbara begins to drink to drown her fear over being taken by Zsasz and at one point nearly shoots Gordon.

Gordon and Bullock’s investigation into the dead body points them to Sionis Investments, whose owner Richard Sionis has a strange tendency to liken the world of finance to the world of combat.  When they split up to investigate abandoned offices where Sionis might be holding the fight club he uses to select new hires, Gordon ends up in the right place, only be tasered by Sionis.  Meanwhile, Liza meets with Mooney in secret to discuss her on-going work spying on Falcone for Mooney.  Alfred, seeing that Bruce has been bullied, takes him to Elliot’s house and gives Bruce a watch that belonged to Bruce’s father.  This is then used by Bruce as a knuckle duster to retaliate against Elliot, who Alfred warns to remember that Alfred allowed Bruce to badly injure the young man.  Later, Bruce asks Alfred to teach him how to fight.

Gordon awakens in the fight club office where Sionis’ latest candidates are offered a substantial reward to kill him.  Bullock, fearing for Gordon’s safety, confronts his fellow GCPD officers about their refusal to help Gordon and rallies several of them to help him find Gordon.  By the time Essen and some uniform officers arrive to help him, however, Gordon has already overcome the fighters and Sionis.  Liza delivers some key intel to Mooney, but begins to have second thoughts and is told a story by Mooney that is later implied to not be entirely true.  At the same time, Cobblepot tortures Mooney’s new umbrella man and learns about her having a mole close to Falcone.  Back at the GCPD, Gordon is about to head home when he learns Selina Kyle has been brought in.  He is also unaware that Barbara has now left him, leaving a note for him in their apartment.

Review:

While mob-related events continue to hum along in the background of this episode, we get an A-plot that revolves around a proto-style iteration of Black Mask and a B-plot that advances Bruce Wayne’s narrative.  It’s interesting to see Tommy Elliot, better known to many as Hush, kept as a class-mate of Bruce’s but turned from scheming enemy masquerading as a friend to a more direct bully.  Even more interesting is Alfred’s approach to dealing with the bullying, namely allowing Bruce to take his father’s watch and use it to knuckle-dust Elliot.  It seems to fit as much with the slightly rougher, more down-to-Earth Alfred this series gives us as much as it does with Bruce’s eventual character as Batman.  However, a lot of source material tends to show Alfred discouraging Bruce about this during Bruce’s childhood, so you have to wonder if any versions of the comics also went with this, or if this is a new take unique to the Gotham series at the time.  Overall, a good instalment, but nothing especially noteworthy.  A nice medium 8 out of 10 should suffice.

Episode 09: Harvey Dent

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

James Gordon places Selina Kyle in custody in Wayne Manor as she is the only witness in the Waynes' murder, though Alfred is reluctant given the potential danger this could put Bruce in. Meanwhile, a bomb maker, Ian Hargrove, is abducted by Russian mobsters led by Gregor Kasyanov while being transferred from Blackgate Penitentiary to a facility for mental health treatment. The Russians plan on robbing a safe vault with the bombs he makes.

Gordon, Renee Montoya and Crispus Allen meet with Assistant District Attorney Harvey Dent to discuss the Waynes' murder. After Gordon shows up a drawing from the killer stated by Selina, Dent deduces the killer may have been hired Dick Lovecraft, a corrupt billionaire, as his fortune rose after their murders. Dent later interrogates Lovecraft, who denies any involvement in the crimes. When Lovecraft mocks Dent, Dent grabs Lovecraft and threatens him, showing signs of an unstable, second persona.

Gordon and Harvey Bullock find Hargrove in the Gotham Munition Factory but they are ambushed by the Russians, who take away Hargrove. After making a test, Edward Nygma tells them the bombs are designed to break through iron. The Russians force Hargrove to blow up the Gotham Armory Basement so they can steal Carmine Falcone's money. While planning their getaway, Gordon and Bullock ambush them. As Hargrove walks toward them, the truck explodes when Butch Gilzean triggers a call detonator.

Oswald Cobblepot visits Liza, where he reveals he knows about her plan with Fish Mooney to take out Falcone but promises to stay quiet. Hargrove is sent to Arkham Asylum. Alfred Pennyworth decides to let Selina stay for a while as she bonds with Bruce Wayne. In the final scene, while Gordon is trying to contact his fiancé Barbara Kean after she left the city, it is revealed that she and Montoya have renewed their previously broken relationship. After hearing Jim's message pleading with Barbara to return to Gotham, Renee's hand reaches to turn Barbara over to her as they then kiss.

Review:

As the title of this episode implies, we see Harvey Dent appear for the first time in this show, complete with double-headed coin and hints of a dual personality.  This feeds into Selina Kyle’s return as we return to Gordon looking into the Wayne murders.  At the same time, we’re getting continuing progress on the mob storylines, with a lot of focus on Falcone, Mooney, Cobblepot and Liza, and in turn we see more of the fallout from Barbara’s kidnapping by Zsasz as it appears she’s not only left Jim Gordon, but gone back to her ex-girlfriend Montoya.  Not sure this was a move that makes sense given Montoya’s role in arresting Jim for Cobblepot’s supposed murder, and her since burying the hatchet with Jim, but I understand the rationale given the arc of Barbara’s character in the series.

The plot around the bomb-maker abducted to aid in the armoury heist also brings Arkham Asylum into things a bit more ahead of later episodes, so that’s a good touch in terms of the show’s serialisation and effective use of key places in Batman lore.  All that said, I think the episode might have been better if Harvey’s dual personality hint was more hint that a sudden and glaring shift at this stage.  Overall score for this one is probably 7 out of 10; might have been 8, but the awkward conversations between Bruce and Selina are quite cringeworthy at times.

Episode 10: Lovecraft

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

A group of assassins, led by Larissa Diaz, break into Wayne Manor, looking for Selina. They escape after Alfred fights with the assassins. When Gordon and Bullock arrive to investigate, Bullock is less than happy that Gordon is continuing his investigation into the Wayne murders. However, Alfred quickly reminds them that finding Bruce is the priority, and he teams up with Bullock while Gordon goes to talk with Harvey Dent. Cobblepot reunites with Falcone, who wants to know how Maroni knew his money was stored at the armory, thinking Cobblepot double-crossed him. Cobblepot tries to tell him there's a mole in his crew, and asks Falcone to let him look into the matter, to which Falcone agrees.

Dent suspects Lovecraft is responsible for the assassins, that it is a panic move brought about by the implication of his involvement in the Wayne murders. It turns out Dent leaked Selina’s name to a couple of “select sources” for credibility, which explains how the information got out. As Lovecraft is not at his own residence, Dent provides a list of apartments under the name of Lovecraft’s mistress. During a mob dinner with Mooney and other mobsters, Falcone kills Irish mob boss Bannion for not guarding the money and states their tribute rates will increase 25% to recover from the money lost in the armoury heist. Bruce and Selina arrive at an underground mall/hang-out with some kids. They decide to go an area of Gotham called the Narrows, where a fence, Clyde, will pay them. Bullock receives the information from Mooney about the Narrows.

Gordon finds Lovecraft in his mistress’ apartment, denying any involvement and claiming the assassins are after him too. The assassins arrive and knock out Gordon. When he wakes up, he finds Lovecraft dead in his bathtub with a bullet to the head, fired with Gordon's gun. Bruce and Selina arrive with Clyde, where Selina offers some things that she stole from Wayne Manor. Clyde offers less than expected and locks them in a warehouse. The assassins arrive, looking for Selina, but Selina escapes with some help from Bruce, who is spared as he was not “part of the contract”. The GCPD arrives and a shootout ensues while Bruce is aiding Selina’s escape. Later Selina visits Bruce and kisses him.

At the GCPD, Mayor James chastises Gordon and Dent. He announces that Lovecraft went crazy after Gordon questioned him, took his gun and committed suicide, believing this is better than admitting Gordon and Dent were looking into a case that was fraudulently closed by himself, the GCPD and Falcone. After announcing Lovecraft's "suicide", James reassigns Gordon to guard duty at Arkham Asylum as punishment for continuing to work against the established corrupt order of Gotham.

Review:

Here the set-up of the previous episode pays off as we get assassins loosed on Selena’s trail, and in the ensuing chaos, Bruce gets some exposure to Gotham’s street life.  This ends up also giving Alfred a chance to show off his own skills in combat and detection, hinting at the character’s background as a former intelligence operative.  We also see the return of Ivy Pepper, who serves as this show’s equivalent to Poison Ivy in later seasons.  In this episode, Selina hints at Ivy being “weird” but doesn’t elaborate, which begs the question what Poison Ivy traits is Ivy Pepper already exhibiting beyond a skill with plants.

The episode has a lot of action and police procedural elements to it, but a bit less in the way of in-depth plot or really diving into elements of Batman lore.  In fact, while various wikis indicate the female lead assassin is meant to be one of the DC criminals who has used the name and costume of Copperhead, the absence of that name or costume in the episode proper means it doesn’t land as a cool source material addition.  It just looks like random assassins showed up, which reduces the overall quality of the episode for me.  7 out of 10 for this one.

Episode 11: Rogues’ Gallery

Plot (as given by me):

Gordon begins his duty as a security guard at Arkham Asylum, which is made more difficult by the Asylum’s director, Dr Gerry Lang, putting all the blame on Gordon for any incidents that occur when they are not his fault.  This is quickly displayed when a patient attacks one of his fellow patients during a play.  The injured patient is treated by Dr Leslie “Lee” Thompkins.  Meanwhile, Selina finds a sick Ivy Pepper sleeping in a box on the street during a rainstorm and takes her to Gordon and Barbara’s apartment so she can rest and get well.  She finds evidence that no one has been in the apartment for a while. The next day, Cobblepot attempts to raise the taxes Gotham’s fishermen pay to Maroni, only for the police to arrest him and his associate Gabe.

Gordon discovers “Frogman” Jones, the patient who went berserk during the play, in a vegetative state as a result of an amateur attempt at electroshock therapy. Gordon is prohibited from calling the police by Lang and asks Gordon to investigate the patients. Gordon finds no evidence to support an inmate being the culprit beyond the theft of a guard’s keys during the play incident. Meanwhile, Mooney meets with fellow bosses within the Faclone crime family, Saviano and Javacek. Saviano, noting that he is next-in-line due to seniority, hopes for something to happen to Falcone so he can take over. Mooney sends Butch to talk Saviano round as he and Butch were childhood friends, but Saviano instead offers Butch a key role in his own mob.

When another Arkham inmate is subjected to another electroshock attack, Gordon calls the GCPD against Lang’s wishes and teams up with his former partner Bullock to investigate possible staff involvement in the attacks. Meanwhile, Montoya breaks up with Barbara, afraid that Barbara’s on-going relapse into alcohol and drugs will also cause her to relapse. She later rings her old apartment to speak to Gordon, but Ivy answers, implying Gordon has moved on and no longer loves Barbara. Back at Arkham, it turns out that Nurse Dorothy Duncan is an inmate who hid in the Asylum basement until it re-opened, and Gordon and Bullock suspect her of the electroshock attacks. However, before this can be investigated, Duncan releases the inmates, who then trample her to death in a stampede. Luckily Gordon prevents them getting out of the Asylum until the GCPD can restore order and security.

Later, evidence of electroshock is found on Duncan’s body, shortly after which an inmate named Jack Gruber escapes, aided by another electroshock victim named Aaron Danzig, killing Lang in the process. Meanwhile, Maroni arranges for Cobblepot’s release after revealing he has him arrested for trying to raise taxes on the fishermen, as a lesson in the dangers of hubris. Afterwards, Gordon returns home to find evidence that someone stayed there in his absence, while down at the docks, Butch acts like he’s going join Saviano, but instead shoots him and drives away.

Review:

With this episode, we get another introduction of a key Batman character with the addition of Dr Leslie Thompkins, played by Deadpool actress Morena Baccarin.  Sadly, though, there’s not much time given to her character’s introduction, and given that she’s supposed to be a colleague of the late Thomas Wayne and linked to Bruce as a surrogate mother in the source material, seeing her as an Arkham doctor linked to Gordon as a potential alternative to Barbara is a little jarring.  The show certainly aims to push Barbara away by working in a seemingly minor Selina and Ivy story that then intersects with Barbara’s narrative thread.  Ivy’s telephone performance is indicative of the vampish behaviour of an adult Poison Ivy, and not a little unsettling coming from someone so young.  Not sure if that’s just what life as a Gotham street kid does to young girls, or if this is just the writers not really considering that just because this character will become Poison Ivy, that doesn’t mean she should act entirely like Poison Ivy right from childhood.

Otherwise, we get a decent mystery, but one that gets a little disrupted by the on-going mobster plot elements.  That or the mob elements are being disrupted by the Arkham stuff, since at the moment there are none of Batman’s eponymous rogues in Arkham while key names like Penguin, Falcone and Maroni remain in play.  I think it depends if you go for the title story or the story with the most Batman elements as your preferred focus.  Either way, going for a 7 out of 10 on this one.

Episode 12: What The Little Bird Told Him

Plot (as given by me):

Gruber and Danzig arrive at an electronics store following their escape from Arkham, where they kill one of the store employees and electroshock Irwin, the store’s owner who had been keeping some equipment of Gruber’s. When Commissioner Gillian Loeb visits the GCPD regarding the escape of the inmates, Gordon makes a deal with him; if Gordon can recapture the two men within 24 hours, he will be reinstated as a GCPD detective. If he fails, both Gordon and Bullock will spend the rest of their working lives as Arkham security guards. The detectives soon learn that Gruber is an alias; in reality, he is Jack Buchinsky, a bank robber who was betrayed by his former mob associate Salvatore Maroni when the police busted him.  Buchinsky got himself transferred to Arkham under the guise of Gruber hoping it would aid him in escaping and seeking revenge.

The clue regarding Maroni’s involvement comes from Leslie, who comes to the GCPD to aid the investigation. Meanwhile, Mooney has Liza “kidnapped” in an attempt to force Falcone into retirement. This prompts Falcone to send for Cobblepot, but as Cobblepot goes to leave, Buchinsky, now dubbed the “Electrocutioner” by the papers, attacks Maroni’s restaurant with an electrical bomb that knocks Cobblepot out. Gordon convinces Maroni to go into protective custody at the GCPD, hoping to trick Buchinsky into attacking Maroni on Gordon’s home turf. Cobblepot briefly comes round and claims to have business with Falcone, causing Maroni to suspect him of betrayal. Elsewhere, Barbara returns to her parents’ mansion to stay for a few days, a move precipitated by Montoya’s rejection and Ivy’s deception in the previous episode.

While Mooney claims to be an intermediary and informs Falcone that Liza will be released unharmed if he leaves Gotham with Liza, Cobblepot convinces Maroni that his earlier words about Falcone were meaningless. Maroni gives Cobblepot leave to depart, having previously bought his excuse of a sick mother, but then Buchinsky and Danzig attack the GCPD, knocking everyone out with an electrical attack. The sole exception is Gordon, who on advice from Nygma is wearing insulated footwear that prevents the electricity from affecting him. After knocking out Danzig in a fist-fight, Gordon throws water at Buchinsky to disable his electrocution equipment. Afterwards, Gordon is promptly reinstated as a GCPD detective in line with his deal with Loeb.

Cobblepot finally reaches Falcone and informs him of the unpleasant truth; Liza was the mole, and was groomed by Mooney to resemble Falcone’s mother in order to undermine him. Initially unwilling to believe this, Falcone goes to Mooney’s night club as already arranged. There he sees that Cobblepot is correct and strangles Liza while admonishing Mooney for crossing a line by using his mother against him. Falcone then leaves Cobblepot to bid his one-time employer farewell before he has them eliminated. Back at the GCPD, Leslie visits Gordon in the locker room. The pair of them kiss, shortly before an officer comes in and informs Gordon there’s been a shoot-out at Mooney’s night club.

Review:

While Jim Gordon gets a quick chance to redeem himself and get back to the GCPD as a B-plot that connects to the A-plot of the episode via Cobblepot, we also get a little more Lesle Thompkins, though not enough to really justify the kiss at the end.  A formal date or something, yes, but a make-out in the police locker room?  Seems a bit fast after two episodes of very minimal screen-time.  At least as Vanessa in Deadpool, we had a whole sex montage of multiple dates over a year with the actress to justify this actress playing a love interest to Ryan Reynold’s character.  Here, she’s only had a few quick scenes over a matter of days/weeks with Ben McKenzie’s Jim Gordon.  As such, this side of the episode is a bit of a let-down for me, even though it’s nice to see Jim get his police badge back.

The episode’s real meat is with the A-plot, in which we finally see Mooney make her move on Falcone, only for Cobblepot to bring the whole thing crashing down.  I know some reviews found this anti-climactic, but I beg to differ.  It’s interesting to see it come here instead of near the end of the season because it keeps things exciting.  If you always save long-term storylines for the end of the season to resolve or change, things get over-predictable and you might lose your audience, whereas the occasional mid-season resolution/shake-up of events can help to retain interest.  Moreover, it helps to justify why we’ve spent so much time on the past few episodes keeping tabs on these characters in stories that weren’t their own.  It also feels like this episode is ending on a cliffhanger, so it’ll be fun to see that resolved when I start on the next round of episodes.  For this one, however, I think 8 out of 10 is a reasonable return.

[phantom-le6]

Ramble of the month July 2024: A deep-dive into the relationship issues of When Harry Met Sally…

With this month being one of those where I’m looking for a different topic to my various fan-casting efforts, I’ve spent the better part of the last month scrambling for an alternative topic to discuss.  These have been eluding me up until now, but in the few days prior to writing this, inspiration hit.  Not long ago, I reviewed the 1989 romantic comedy When Harry Met Sally, and the other day, I get a comment on it telling me to do the commenter a favour and shut up.  However, they phrased it using the acronym that inserts a certain expletive in between the words shut and up.

Now why would someone do this?  Well, in my comments on the film, I noted that it contains aspects of relationship behaviour that don’t really stand the test of time and may not hold up well from a more modern perspective.  I presume that the commenter was perhaps someone inclined to such behaviours or worse, and perhaps didn’t like those behaviours being called out as negative behaviours.  Alternatively, they may simply be someone who assumes that all comedy should be taken as it is, and objects to any objection against humour even though that is sometimes necessary and appropriate for us to do.  If we all laughed at bad comedians just because they’re trying to be comedians, how would we eliminate bad comedians from the profession and only get good ones staying around?  Criticism, if voiced appropriately, is necessary as a form of quality control.

So, at first, I blocked the commenter for their rudeness and thought little more about it.  However, a day or two later, a video comes up on my Facebook newsfeed from It’s Gone Viral.  In it, a British mother is talking about her daughter being picked on by boys at her school, and protesting about the counter-argument that boys sometimes pick on girls they like.  As a person with autism, I know some people can behave inappropriately at first without meaning to, but it’s important to correct that behaviour quickly and not let it persist.  I for one have never seen the logic in persistent ill-treatment of women being a sign of affection.  It might be an error born of not yet learning the right behaviour, possibly exacerbated by the absence of an appropriate example of the right behaviour and any neurodiversity-related learning challenges.

Given this, the response to my film review came back and I saw an opportunity to take a little responsibility for correcting some negative attitudes around relationships that may be out there.  To be clear, this isn’t the same as taking the blame for something, at least not in this instance.  While a person who has done wrong may have a responsibility to take blame, blame does not have to exist to take responsibility.  One can simply see that there is an issue occurring, see a way they can maybe help combat or resolve that issue and step up to do so.  In my case, I’m going back to the film that someone seemed to be protesting against my views on, and I’m going to through all the various moments that potentially indicate some less-than-positive relationship behaviours in the characters.

Now before I take this deep dive into the various moments of the film, I would ask that anyone wanting to comment keep in mind two rules.  First, be respectful.  I don’t mind people disagreeing with me, but you don’t have to swear at me, insult me, threaten me or otherwise act like monsters in order to do so.  Second, if you’re going to disagree, then don’t just say “you’re wrong” or “I don’t think that’s right” and nothing more.  I’m going to explain my points as I go through this, and try to be constructive where I can, so please have the courtesy to do the same.  I don’t mind considered and constructive criticism and debate, but I won’t have any disrespect or people disagreeing just for the hell of it.

With that little bit of house-keeping out of the way, let’s look at some of the things from When Harry Met Sally that don’t work as well for real life as they do for a late 80’s rom-com…

The car ride of 1977 – spitting, cheating and tying bedroom prowess to names

The opening time period in the film is the two title characters driving from Chicago to New York after graduating university, or “college” as Americans know it.  At this point, the pair are not together; Harry is in a relationship with Sally’s then-best friend Amanda.  Initially, all seems fine apart from Harry eating grapes and spitting out the seeds.  Not into a container of any kind, but first at the window of the car, then out of it when Sally gives him a look.  This is less of a relationship issue than one of manners, hygiene and even road safety, but it still wouldn’t make anyone in real life laugh that had any shred of common courtesy.  Lesson 1 of this film; don’t eat anything in a car that require you to spit part of it out if you can help it, and if you can’t, have the decency to be more polite about how you dispose of the seeds.  Having a small bag or retaining the packaging to hold the seeds until you find a bin are both good options.

While the grape thing is going on, the pair start to converse, and Harry very quickly seems to steer things into the question of being prepared for death, which is a bit of a weird topic to go for, even with your girlfriend’s best friend.  It also seems from this conversation that the pair don’t really know each other, which is interesting as it brings up something I came across a while back.  While I can’t remember the exact source, one apparent means of succeeding in getting into a relationship with a woman is to also befriend her friends, as in many cases the approval of your partner’s friends can help in establishing and continuing a relationship.  If that is indeed the case, then presumably either Harry is not aware of this, or he’s trying this with Sally and simply doesn’t have the greatest taste in conversation topics on this occasion.

A while later, the pair pull up at a diner and are discussing the ending to Casablanca.  Apparently, Sally believes that Ingrid Bergman’s character made the better choice in leaving at the film’s end, which Harry takes to mean that Sally has not experienced great sex.  His contention seems to be that a poor person who is great in bed is better than a passionless relationship with someone of high position.  An interesting supposition, but considering that sex and financial security are each just two of many elements to a relationship, I don’t think anyone could reasonably make a good choice between two partners based on those factors along. It’s like a weak attempt at Ross’ comparison incident from season 2 of Friends, which is a perfectly valid method for processing how you feel in a situation where you need to choose out of two partners which one to progress with.  The only thing Ross got wrong was to involve others and let the process be seen by Rachel; you do this privately or in strict confidence, and if the person you choose isn’t in on the process for any reason, all you need to say is that you came to the decision after much deliberation.  Don’t need to go into any more detail than that, and certainly don’t keep a copy if you can afford to get rid of it after deciding.  If you must keep a copy, then only keep it as long as you need, keep it secure and only keep it to remind you of your reasoning.  If you would use this method against a partner, you most likely need professional help rather than a relationship right now.

Going back to Harry and Sally, the conversation around sex then moves on to the question of Sally’s ex, Sheldon.  At this juncture, Harry claims that anyone called Sheldon cannot be great at sex because the name doesn’t fit well into dirty talk.  This quickly shows up another fallacy in Harry’s reasoning, because he’s assuming that a) skill in the bedroom is linked to your name, b) that all women will use sexually explicit dialogue in bed, and c) that anyone using such dialogue would also use a proper name every time.  It’s very simple to use a nickname or pet name, so combined with the Casablanca thing, it’s clear that Harry is potentially a bit of a lazy thinker.

After going through some further conversation around Sally’s ex and an issue with day-of-the-week underwear that highlights both clear jealousy issues on the part of the ex, not to mention the idiocy of certain manufacturers regarding the sanctity of Sunday, the pair are out on the road again.  As they leave the diner, Harry compliments Sally, which she takes as Harry attempting to have sex with her despite already being in a relationship.  Since this is 1989 Hollywood, there’s no chance of this being spun as an open relationship or polyamory thing, but instead Harry explains that it was just a compliment without any come-on intended.  Assuming this is true and not simply back-peddling on Harry’s part, then this may indicate that Sally hasn’t had the best of luck with getting compliments from men without an ulterior motive involved.

At this point, we now come to the point that seems to be the main crux of the film, and the biggest fallacy in Harry’s reasoning.  Harry contends that men and women are incapable of being friends because the desire for sex between men and women will always get in the way.  Now even if we discount, as Hollywood typically would back at this time, the entire LGBTQ+ spectrum, Harry’s argument fails to hold water.  How so?  Well, first of all, not all men will find all women attractive.  Various aspects of appearance, personality, shared interests and so on can draw someone in or put them off, and if they don’t, there are also questions of logistics, which come into play a bit more with the advent of social media.  It’s easy enough to make a friend online, but how many of us have the time, the resources and the will to fly, drive, sail or otherwise travel massive distances to be something more if the friend in question is a long way off instead in your own area?

Second, even if you are attracted to a friend, the attraction you feel may not be mutual, and if one or both of you is already in a relationship, acting on any attraction that may exist would not be appropriate, and in some cases may diminish your desire for the friend in question.  There are also friendships that are best not taken beyond that because it’s not appropriate, such as work friendships.  As someone who had his share of issues with workplace-based romance, I can honestly say that there is wisdom in the notion of not pursuing office romances.  Date outside of work, never within.

The flight of 1982 – trying to amend the “can’t be friends” rule

After Harry and Sally reach New York, they part ways until bumping into each other on a flight.  By this time, Harry is engaged to someone named Helen, while Sally is in a relationship with a man called Joe.  During the flight, the pair sit together, but even before that, the characters show signs of not remembering the events of five years ago precisely.  Sally struggles to remember the name of her former best friend and Harry’s now-ex, while Harry gets the first name right and the second name just slightly wrong.  More interestingly, Harry now seems to indicate his compliment to Sally was a genuine come-on, which if true raises a red flag by suggesting Harry might not be a faithful partner after all.

The conversation then shifts to the idea of going with a relationship partner to the airport.  For a Brit like myself, I imagine our equivalent would be going to the train station if we had relationships with anyone that had to travel, and even then, I can’t see why anyone would.  As such, I presume going with a partner to an airport is mainly an American thing and I can’t even begin to comment on it.  After this comes a discussion of a “life of a single guy” issue Harry has, which relates to trying to judge how long he has to stay in bed with a woman before leaving.  For me, this is one of many issues with the dating model of romance as opposed to simply going straight from being friends or acquaintances to being a couple, because if you go straight into the relationship, you probably don’t have to sweat this.  Then again, I have a whole other issue regarding sharing a bed with relationship partners, and I’m not going to go into that here.  All I will say is being single isn’t so bad.

As the pair make their way through the airport they’ve landed at, Harry then tries to suggest that men and women can be friends if they’re already in relationships with others.  However, no sooner does he make this claim, he notes that this would only lead to suspicions on the part of the existing relationship partners.  Now I actually experienced this kind of wrongful suspicion in a past relationship, so here Harry is not entirely wrong.  However, not all partners will read something into your platonic friendships with people of your desired gender.  Often people who have these kinds of suspicions have had to deal with similar betrayals in their past, and are treating you as if you’re that other person.  Best thing they can do is seek professional help, because it’s not fair that one person’s actions should be allowed to colour our interpretations of others.

1987 onwards – the bulk of the film

Five years after the plane flight, and ten years after the drive to New York, we pick up with Harry and Sally again.  Now Sally has just broken up with Joe, while Harry is getting divorced from Helen.  Our introduction scene to this time period for Sally is more concerning in regards to Carrie Fisher’s character Marie, who has apparently spent the last two years as someone’s mistress, and apparently persisting in the relationship in vain hopes of this man leaving his wife, only to face constant reminders that the man never will leave his wife.  At the same time, Harry informs his friend Jess that not only does Helen want a divorce, but she is apparently already in love with someone else and has been seeing him behind Harry’s back.

The one key point these scenes bring up comes from Jess, who notes that infidelity is not the real reason many marriages end, but is instead a symptom of a deeper issue.  Now given some of the issues we’ve seen come up so far in the past two time periods, I can understand why a relationship with Harry might break down.  He seems to have a decidedly macabre streak, his approach to romance/dating in general has a number of flaws, and so I can easily understand someone not wanting to stay in a relationship with the bloke.  However, whatever reasons someone has for wanting a better relationship, infidelity is not the best way to deal with it.  Ending the relationship first, or seeking help to maintain the relationship by working on the issues at hand, is generally better than sneaking off to have sex with someone else on the quiet.

As for what sort of issues might come up that could lead to such symptoms, we then move to the scene where Harry and Sally meet again and discuss their relationships over coffee.  Here, we learn that Sally and Joe were initially on the same page about not marrying and having children, but after years of failing to actually do anything that a childless couple could do, Sally’s priorities changed while Joe’s did not, thereby ending the relationship.  This suggests that the activities they used to list were more like excuses to hide their true relationship goals, so in this case it’s a matter of conflicting or unclear relationship goals exacerbated by a lack of communication/exploration of these issues.  Fine for a film set-up, not so good in a real-life relationship, which just goes to show why helping people to develop a willingness to talk about relationships is a good idea.

At this point, Harry and Sally enter into a platonic friendship as they each get over their respective ex-partners.  The conversations here don’t raise any major issues to begin with, and we can actually see Harry starting to enjoy just being friends with a woman.  Of course, part way through this section of the film, we land on the famous fake orgasm scene.  Now I’ve seen enough late-night channel 4 and channel 5 programs regarding the subject of sex while channel-flicking to know there is a strong factual basis for Sally’s arguments in this conversation, and while some men in the here-and-now may lack the maturity or openness of mind to hear those arguments and act on them, not all men are like this.

I think it's important that more of us take the time to work out what pleases our partners, as it shows a proper consideration for the other person/people involved in a sexual situation, not to mention a certain maturity if you can approach a subject like this with maturity and open-mindedness.  Stubbornly refusing to learn, making stupid jokes or just otherwise finding ways to avoid this sort of learning just indicates an absence of maturity and disregard for your partners, which in turn suggests that others will be better off if you remain single until you grow up.

Next, we shift forward a little in time and wind up moving through New Years’ and into 1988.  Here we see Sally try to set Harry up with Marie, and Harry try to set Sally up with Jess.  The whole thing backfires as Marie and Jess fall for each other, and a few months later, Harry has a run-in with his ex-wife Helen, who is out shopping with her new partner Ira.  This leads to Harry having what I can only describe as a meltdown, which is understandable, and for once it’s Sally throwing up a bit of a red flag.  While Harry’s behaviour was not cool, Sally chooses to confront him in the moment, and this only serves to create an argument.  Granted, that argument manages to end implosively through Harry going slightly too far verbally and then apologising, but that’s still not the best way to handle someone struggling with intense emotions, such as those seeing an ex with their new partner might provoke.

Instead, the better bet is to try and de-escalate things first, then work with the other person while they’re calm to develop strategies for better dealing with the behaviour.  This is something one could also apply to young children who may misbehave without realising, which brings us back for a moment to the girl being picked on by boys in the IGV post.  Suppose for a moment that the boys in question, whether through neurodiversity or through some combination of childhood ignorance and poor parenting, are trying to express affection but don’t recognise they’re doing it wrong.  My autism has led me to make different errors in my own efforts at relationships, so I know from personal experience this kind of thing can happen.

If this is so, then any efforts to correct the incorrect behaviour will often work best when the person who needs to learn it is calm and receptive.  If you try to explain anything to someone who is some definition of “wound up” or “excited”, whether through anger, sadness, joy, anxiety or anything else, chances are you won’t get the message across.  Also try to bear in mind how to present the information; it might be necessary to frame things from the other person’s point-of-view so they can understand how their behaviour is being interpreted.  Try to explain how best to get their intent across without appearing like a bully.  In cases like Harry where it’s a clear loss of temper, provide for de-escalation where possible and allow an option to step away and lose your temper safely where de-escalation can’t be achieved.  Never confront someone in the heat of the moment unless it’s life-or-death, as most in-the-moment confrontation just makes matters worse.

After the blow-up by Harry and a house party where Harry and Sally each appears to disapprove of their latest respective partners, we get to a scene where Sally learns that her ex-partner Joe is now engaged to someone, which precipitates Harry going over to comfort her.  Now during this scene, Sally appears to get very self-critical, her search for the reason why Joe couldn’t settle down with her taking her into a form of self-criticism.  Now the film never goes into the why of this, but if you think long enough about it from an objective stand-point, Sally may not be the reason.  It may be that Joe was not ready to settle down with any woman while in a relationship with Sally, but has since been through events that have enabled him to settle down.  Another option might be that it’s a marriage for money, as it mentions that Joe’s fiancé is a paralegal named Kimberley, and I presume a lawyer would make more money than a journalist, which is Sally’s occupation.

A further option could be that Sally’s various traits were the impediment, but not because of Sally herself.  It could be that Joe lacked the willingness to push past those particular traits for marriage, while Kimberley might not have the same traits.  Even if something about us does put our partners off, it doesn’t always mean that we need to change.  Sometimes, we just need a more accepting partner.  A case-in-point, there have been times when I’m sure that my being autistic has put women off, but if I was still dating, would I seek to better mask my autism or want to get rid of it?  No, because my autism is part of who I am and all problems I have as a result of being autistic are not caused by the autism itself.  They are caused by the world around me not accepting my autism and failing to adjust to accept and accommodate it.  As such, it does not follow that just because Joe couldn’t settle down with Sally, she was the problem.  It could just as readily be something to do with Joe himself, so if anyone reading this has been through similar situations and thoughts to Sally, remember this point.

Of course, in true cinematic style, Harry comforting Sally doesn’t stop there.  In a moment of emotional vulnerability, the pair have sex, and that then creates an awkwardness that lasts for most of the film’s remaining run-time.  Efforts to overcome this initially fail, but ultimately all is resolved by the subsequent New Year celebrations.  This illustrates something of how not to handle these situations.  More specifically;

Don’t give in to any temptation to have sex with a friend of your preferred gender in a moment of emotional compromise.  Back out of things politely, offer any other support they may need, but make it clear you don’t want to cross that line until they can calm down and tell you they still want to while calm and sober.

If you do cross that line, don’t freak out like Harry and Sally do.  That only worked out here because it’s a film.  Talk about it with the other person, take your time to process it and to work out what it means going forward.  Communication is best, provided it’s honest and constructive.

As part of being honest and constructive, don’t go making up what you think the other person wants to hear.  While I don’t think Harry or Sally had fully processed what happened during the subsequent shower/dinner scene, where they each tried to claim it was a mistake to sleep with each other, I also think they were both saying what they did to try and ease out of an awkward situation.  As someone who can end up doing this sort of thing as part of my autism, I can attest to it creating problems down the line.  Take the time to work out what the honest answer is, then give the honest answer.

Be careful about how you communicate afterwards if things are initially awkward.  Harry’s constant calling doesn’t come across well in a real-life setting.

This more or less covers the full run of the film, and as you can see, the only reason things work out for this pair is they’re characters in a film.  In fiction, you can make all the stupid moves you like in a relationship and, if the director, writers, actors and everyone else want it to work out, it will.  In real life, though, stupid or ill-considered actions can often jeopardise or end a relationship.  Whether it’s basing your romantic decisions on failed reasoning or letting yourself react too much before you process something, or any of the other various pitfalls we’ve touched on, there is no director to yell cut and magically get you to a contrived make-up scene.  In real life, you have to carefully consider your actions, learn how to behave in ways the right partner will appreciate and, much like a film crew, put in a lot of hard work and good collaboration to reach your happily ever after.

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed this deep-dive ramble and found some of what we’ve looked at interesting and maybe useful.  As I said before, if you want to disagree with anything I’ve said, that’s cool with me as long as you’re respectful and constructive about it.  So, until next month’s ramble, ta-ta for now.