phaserstma

[phaserstma]

ANYWAY!! my blogs are gonna be a Hot Mess for a few days. please bare with me.

[phaserstma]

&. look how pretty she is wtf‌.

@phaserstm (Spock)

“I do hope things around here are to your liking,” she says, smiling kindly as she entered the room, “I’m afraid that we didn’t get the chance to officially meet during the ceremonies.”

“the accommodations are adequate,” he replies briskly, hands folded together. “you were rather busy. it felt best to wait until things calmed down, which they now have. as you know, i am FIRST OFFICER on board the enterprise. i believe you had the pleasure of meeting my captain earlier. my name is spock.”

[phaserstma]

wow, captain sisko though

“there’s a war going on and i’m a reporter. this is where i belong.”

and my boy jake though

[phaserstma]

wow, captain sisko though

[phaserstma]

no resurrections this time . ( From Jim to Bones)(crewoftheenterprise)

“so, what? i’m meant to just let you DIE?” that isn’t the answer here. bones brought jim back from death once before and he intends to continue doing so until he HIMSELF takes his last breath. “yer my BEST friend, jim. i’m not lettin’ you go without a fight. i don’t give a damn about your orders. i’ll save you if it KILLS me.”

&. bones loves jim so much bye. @crewoftheenterprise

[phaserstma]

“You changed my life.” (kara’s feeling soft)

he feels GUILTY. these days, he always does. she’s happier with him than it seems she was back on earth, but he worries that some days she REGRETS giving up her shot at redemption for all this. for him. they’d barely known each other before he whisked her off to the GALAXY.

can she truly love him? does she merely love the FREEDOM he brought her?

oh, he CHANGED her life — there’s no doubt about that — but at what COST?

“you don’t think i ruined it?” his eyes soften, although his fears are easily worn. ( only with her does he allow himself this level of vulnerability. ) “are you HAPPY here?”

&. kara is feeling soft but i’m not. oops. @thirtythreetm

[phaserstma]

anyway. i have off tomorrow so somebody should make it a point to bug me and make me actually write here since i won’t be doing too much of anything else.

[phaserstma]

shout out to my babe @thirtythreetm for being amazing and wonderful and perfect

[phaserstma]

"this is no place to die." (for will?)

“who said anything about DYING, captain?” true, the situation is far from ideal, but geordi decided a long time ago that he wouldn’t quit on anything. even this. “i have everything i need to fix the shuttle. all i need is for you to get us three... four days, tops.” and then it’ll only take a week or so of travel to be within communications range of the enterprise again.

“as long as we can survive out here that long, we can get home. now, if you ask me, that sounds preferable to whatever it is you’ve ASSUMED is going to happen here.”

&. you put a ‘?’ there so i  took the liberty of answering this one too bye. / @picardtm.

[phaserstma]

"Thank god you’re breathing" FOR BARASH :))

barash can’t look at jean-luc. they can only BARELY breathe, air welling up in their chest & throat and not going anywhere. just resting there, festering. they’re crying. the sensation is new, not typical of their species, perhaps, but barash has become something far too close to HUMAN to be considered an oniasan, or whatever it is they’d been originally.

no, this is an all-too human reaction. one they can’t CONTROL or slow to something more manageable. an underlying anxiety over being alone again consumes them. this had all been an accident. OVERWHELMED by the death of their adoptive father, barash had opted to seek out anything that could provide some relief for the pain they felt.

the pain they feel. even now, it STINGS more than their physical injuries. turns out, will had been right. it’s dangerous for a child of barash’s size to play PARRISES SQUARES. it’s far too easy to break one’s neck. barash had come close, is still on the floor looking like they probably SHOULDN’T have survived the fall they suffered.

barash is aware of dr. crusher’s presence, can feel jean-luc’s concern without checking to see if it’s really there. they don’t need to see the captain’s expression to know what’s going on.

it’s only been a WEEK since they all, collectively, lost will. barash is all the crew has left. an argument could be made that UNCLE TOM counts, but he’s still pulling himself together. he doesn’t have the time or the energy to help anyone grieve.

“i’m fine,” barash replies with a groan, curling in on themself as much as possible before the ACHE coursing through their bones becomes too much to bear. “just leave me here. i’m okay. they didn’t need to CALL you. i know you don’t want to be my dad.”

jean-luc can deny it if he wants to, but barash knows TOM is the one who managed to convince jean-luc to keep them on board. not to make the kid leave the only home they’d ever had. whereas will had opened his heart to barash almost INSTANTEOUSLY, it had always been more difficult to connect with jean-luc. and barash had tried.

“i don’t blame you. seeing me must make you think of DAD — will. i know you miss him…”

&. HOO BOY what are we unboxing here. / @picardtm.

[phaserstma]

Send my muse “Thank god you’re breathing.” for their reaction to waking up finding your muse has brought them back from near death.

[phaserstma]

&. captain picard‌.

“Tea. Earl Gay. Hot.”

“——CAPTAIN? is there something you’re trying to say?”

[phaserstma]

the performance doesn’t last more than a few minutes and it’s obvious in certain places that barash STRUGGLES to play with any level of mastery, but still they smile once the piece is finished. although they haven’t been on the enterprise very long, they look up to captain picard just as much as their FATHER does. having had that insight via will’s thoughts back on alphas onias iii, barash had always known that picard was genuinely good. someone barash could trust even when things get hard.

they aren’t sure they belong here, still. despite what the senior officers and pris might say, barash finds they don’t fit on the ship like they had during the PROJECTION created on alpha onias. barash never has been one to give up, however, and one of the many influences on their desire to learn the trombone does lie in the IDEALIZATION of that life they could have lived with will on the planet.

“so? what did you think, admiral? i mean — JEAN-LUC.” heart pounds a bit faster in anticipation. “dad says i’m getting better.”

&. closed starter —› @picardtm.

[phaserstma]

Camp (2013) Created by Peter Elkoff and Liz Heldens

[phaserstma]

yanno those white noise sites like rainymood.com or the cafe shop one? i’d like an Enterprise bridge one, please. Soft beeping, maybe some chill version of amok time theme or something, and every now and then the crew calmly issuing orders or reading something sciency. im watching the lights of zetar and this evasive scene? is super calming and i need it on infinite repeat somehow. someone make this happen.

[phaserstma]

i’m not their HERO but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t BRAVE.

[phaserstma]

i highkey love the enterprise theme song. don’t @ me.