Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by phayte-kins and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
956K
Likes Per Post
523K
Reblog Per Post
432K
Reply Per Post
2K
Time Between Posts
20 hours
Number of Posts By Type
Text
17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Women make up for the other 50% of Tumblr’s audience.
Text
for me internet friendships are “we don’t talk all the time but I see you’re online and it makes me happy” and I really hope it’s like that for everyone
42K notes
·
View notes
Text
recently my plug has offered free weed for:
bunch of ice
mw2 double xp tokens
71K notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey man, ahead of this heatwave I'm gonna go ahead and rip the veil off of something for you:
The reason American Southerners have the luxury of saying that 90 ain't that bad and it's not unbearable until it's 100 is 1) prolonged exposure to high temperatures over multiple decades 2) our mindset for these living conditions.
You don't have number 1, and you can't just acquire it, so I need you to adopt number 2 immediately. How do you live like a Southerner in the heat?
Don't be a hero.
Stay inside. Buy a box fan, put it next to a bucket of ice, and wrap your arms around it like a lover. Do not leave the shade under any circumstances. If a dude makes fun of you for getting out of the sun, don't get mad, just think of a funnier insult to call him while you flip him off and go stand under a tree.
Southerners love nothing more than to exaggerate and lie to each other. Like I think we got off on the wrong foot when you walked in on us saying things like "It was only 110, I didn't even take my damn jacket off" when really, last week it was 95 at 10 PM and we were on the bed buck nekkid in front of the fan moaning incoherently and praying to die. So yeah, we can take extreme heat. We also want you to think we can take ludicrous heat. You must learn to talk shit and then be a hypocrite and a coward in your actions, because this will serve you best.
It sounds like I am joking but I cannot express to you how much I am not. Do not fuck with Mother Nature, because that bitch will kill you. Take every opportunity to lower your body temperature and drink water, because that is what all of us in hot climates are doing all the time, and that is why we are not dead, even when it seems like we should be.
(And yeah, we do go through like two and a half ugly weeks in April every year where everyone wants to absolutely just goddamn drop dead because none of us have our heat tolerance back, but we must go to work anyway, which must be a crime. And yes, when it gets below 70 we really all do short circuit and cover ourselves in seven jackets, except for Shorts Guy.)
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
me when i see an animal that is known for being in my area
#me when i almost stepped on a garter snake yesterday#it wasn't even mad once it saw that i had backed off it was watching me#we watched each other for like half an hour it was great
22K notes
·
View notes
Text
protestants: god is not an absent father! talk to god like a friend! god is always with you! bring your problems to god, no matter how small! it’s not at all weird to call god “daddy!”
catholics: god is far too important to give a fuck about your lost keys or your algebra exam. please address your petty concerns to one of god’s ten thousand holy secretaries. if it’s really important, consider asking his mom.
154K notes
·
View notes
Text
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
@help-help-i-need-an-adult we've got raspberries fresh off the press!
24K notes
·
View notes
Text
#unfortunately this does not work with a lot of Those People#because they also think no one should speak a language other than english
26K notes
·
View notes
Text
I follow this lady on instagram who rescues cats, and i have been thinking about this video for literal months. behold the transformation of this wretched little beast
(x)
105K notes
·
View notes
Text
does everyone have a teacher that they still have beef with/ hold a grudge against today??
#okay so#the one i didn't like was mr b#because he would frequently send me out of the classroom to wash my hands#after my adhd ass had drawn all over them in pen and sharpie#and if they were not clean he would kick me out again#so yknow#BUT BUT BUT#i have a better story#about a mr posner#who no one liked i don't really know why it was 6th grade#who was honestly bullied#he showed up to school one day#definitely on some kind of uppers#did some weird shit#like welcoming us as the class of 1969 but honestly that was the most mild i just forget more#made it through half the school day and was never seen again#we had a gym teacher as our sub for about two months#trying to figure how the eff to turn his knowledge into math#and the a very young female teacher who no one listened to cause she was young and hot#my class used the 'we had mr posner' for the rest of high school as an excuse to suck at math
26K notes
·
View notes
Text
I made a quiz about some of my favorite animals :)
#i got to the cockatoo question and understand how brennan lee mulligan felt on that episode of game changer#i was like oh finally an easy one#well shit#i got 25% on the first one which honestly is better than i thought
14K notes
·
View notes
Text
"what groceries u been into recently" is actually a great question, there's a bunch of good conversations inside it
#i found that i actually really like schar brand everything bagels#i have been so sad without bagels#now if I could just find a burger bun that doesn't immediately dissolve into paste when I put a nice juicy burg on it#eating gluten free is really easy until you try to replace actual bread#i've also been on a mission to find the best kettle corn in the store#you are not surprised to learn that nothing it as good as fresh kettle corn#just like nothing can beat fresh movie theater popcorn#alas
32K notes
·
View notes
Text
fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love
228K notes
·
View notes
Text
The 20 year old accidentally bonsai'd apricot tree that I finally planted in the ground has truly established himself and has chosen a branch with which he will form his main trunk. He's putting all his energy into this one branch and it's making dozens of tiny offshoot branches and it is rapidly growing taller
13K notes
·
View notes