phoebexxxxx-blog

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kinda want a relationship kinda don’t ever want to give someone the power to hurt me 

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Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because the regret is stronger than gratitude.

Anne Frank’s Diary (via neutral)

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I can't do this anymore e

I can't do this. I can't go on. I suck at everything. Everyone is so perfect and I'm letting everyone down. I can't go on. You are all moving on and I can't keep up. Every every one is leaving me. I'm alone. I can't. I can't. I can't. I can't do this anymore. Oh god someone help. I'm falling to pieces.

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Save me.

I've already failed and I haven't even started yet.

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I am the daisy, please don't stomp on me.

You always leave me. Then you always come right back, but please maybe this time don't. This is as hard as it gets for me because every time you leave you take a little bit more of me. I would be fine with that if you took the broken parts or even just returned my healed parts. But you take my once perfect parts and your chase after someone smarter, prettier or skinnier and they break my parts and you. So you come back with your tail between your knees and say it won't happen again. I'm not stupid I know what's going on. I always know but I begin off cautious and as the days go by and conversations grow longer and more intense I forget and all I want is to be with you and hold you and to have you love me like I love you. But in that sense I'm stupid because you will always chase after that other girl. But why wouldn't you? She's smarter, prettier, funnier, skinner, and so beautiful. Who would go for me when you could have her. Why would you go for a daisy in a garden full of roses?

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Oh that's right, your with her.

You told me would be there for me any time I needed you. but now I broken and where the fuck are you?

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God I am so sorry. I’m so sorry that I’m such a mess. I am trying so hard to put the pieces back together but I don’t even know what’s missing anymore.

(via przn)

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Is it me?

So you told me you loved me, I believed you. Then you told me you lied and it killed. Then you left me in pain and you seemed to enjoy watching. After about the 5th time I finally I wised up to your games and said don’t tell me you love me til you mean it, no lie policy. And then you agree and say okay. What do you do? 10 weeks later you suddenly say I love you I said remember our promise you say yeah but I do, I love you. Stupidly I believed you and look where I am now. I’m sat crying because now you’ve told me you want to take it back.

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And I hate you for what you have done.

We never kissed. We never dated. We never were together officially. But everyone knew, they would say 'no they are complicated' or 'no don't go there that would break her heart'. No one went there for a while but as our conversations got shorter I knew they were growing longer with another person, a person I know would never know about me. But still I stayed, I tried. I tried so bloody hard. I put my heart, my soul and all the messy bits of me into what ever we were but you still left. At the begging I ignored my friends when they were telling me about you, I thought I knew better. I thought he's not like that with me, maybe he's changed. I would tell them all the things you wanted me to. I would call them crying, hyperventilating and screaming because of our fights. Those were the nights I regretted trusting you with everything because you fired it all back at me you hurt me like no one ever could. They would tell me to leave you and move on, that I was better then that. And I was, but now I'm a mess. I represent what we were. A hot bloody mess- all the left overs, all the useless bits, the complications and the cracks in the walls. But you. Oh god you, your still you. But improved. Because I took the broken bits of you and replaced them with the never broken parts of me, thinking we were always meant to be. But you still won't let me move on. You were always selfish but never this selfish. Everyone can see I need to move on to heal myself. But you don't like that you want me to stay broken so that I will always give in to the hazel eyes that glisten green in the sunlight. Every time I do better you come back, and wreck me again. It just shows me how little you cared. You couldn't even do the little think I asked of you. that when you had done with me never come back. But you have. And I hate you for that.