phoenix-flamed - Tumblr blog

[phoenix-flamed]

friendly reminder that even if i take ages to reply, i still want to roleplay with you

[phoenix-flamed]

I got three paragraphs into a starter before realizing I don't have the spoons to write at the moment. But at least I've started getting to everything!

Still have more replies to do, too, and Asks to answer. Brain is just still sluggish, it would seem.

[phoenix-flamed]

After all this time, I finally settled on a "bad end" verse for my Elwin.

The verse title will be, uncreative as it is, "Darkened Fire".

What if Elwin had given into his curiosity and concern over what lay within the Apodytery, and entered it himself? What if he had seen the mural of the Eikons, and, with an unsettled feeling despite not knowing what it meant, turned to the Undying to find answers? And what if what they uncovered changed Elwin's entire view of the world -- and left him wanting desperately to spare his sons from the chains of fate that were winding so tightly around young Joshua?

What if in his attempts to save them, he damned them instead? A ploy to send them away from Rosaria, foiled by betrayal by the Imperials; lives destroyed in vain, while Elwin was taken prisoner. Wracked with grief and guilt at the presumed death of the boys, he turned his attention to those he could save. Those he could spare.

A once benevolent nature was twisted into something dark and cruel, veiled behind the misguided belief that the kindest thing he could do for his people now was to break them from those same chains of fate by granting them death.

After all, if everything has already been laid out, and they're all pawns playing roles as determined by a higher power, then what better way is there to take fate into their own hands than by killing them?

So "Miles" becomes what he once upon a time would have loathed and fought so hard against, and in doing so takes up the mantle of Lord Commander of the Black Shields.

(Yes, I am predictable. Don't @ me. I'll add this and the VII verse to my blog tomorrow, if I haven't already added the latter to the list.)

Oh and also he just really, really wants revenge against Sylvestre. Like, really, really, really, really, really wants revenge, and will get back at him in every possible way that he can, while biding his time for a chance to cut off the head of the snake. Sorry Sanbreque, you're not escaping the carnage either, though for different reasons.

[phoenix-flamed]

I don't know why, but I started thinking about Clive and Anabella's relationship, and the scene with her and Elwin in the bedroom. As much as I love joking about the last part of it, I wonder if at least part of the reason Anabella looked so angry when Elwin rejected her advances was because she took it as him choosing Clive over her?

Keep in mind, that idea is purely speculation, so take it with a grain of salt. But that's not going to stop me from headcanoning about it!

Technically speaking, yes, my Elwin did choose Clive over Anabella -- not just in that instance, but over and over since Joshua's awakening as the next Dominant of Phoenix, and Clive's subsequent rejection by Anabella and the nobility.

Taking advantage of some of the lore tidbits the Ultimania had regarding Clive's youth, the first instance of my Elwin choosing Clive over Anabella was him refusing to turn his back on their firstborn. Instead of shunning him like everyone else of their status, he chose to try to find a way to protect Clive from the harsh judgment and disdain that the nobles -- and Anabella -- seemed so inclined to inflict upon the poor boy. He, foolishly, tried to salve the situation with compromise, seemingly bending to the court's scrutiny and demands of Clive's illegitimacy by removing the boy from the line of succession. But the bigger reason he did this was in the (vain) hopes of giving Clive the chance to live a better, happier, more fulfilling life, free of the constraints and cruelty of their fellow nobles.

Of course, it didn't work, at least -- or perhaps most notably -- not with Anabella. Unfortunately, he couldn't control what others thought, said, or did; all he could do was try and persuade Anabella in particular to treat Clive better, to see what a great man he was becoming, how talented he was. And time and time again, his insistent claims and pleas fell on deaf ears.

But by refusing to follow in Anabella's footsteps with spurning Clive, and by refusing to condone her treatment of the boy and later encouraging him to show his mother(by providing him an opportunity to do it, no less) the truth of his greatness, my Elwin was by default choosing him over her. Which probably didn't help in her treatment of Clive, or in her ever-increasing ire towards her husband.

[phoenix-flamed]

Rufus's dog will always be named Dark Nation in my heart.

[phoenix-flamed]

Sometimes, you dig out a box that's been in your room for almost a year, and you open it for a cool surprise.

Apparently I am the proud owner of a Loghrif mask.

[phoenix-flamed]

Sorry for not being around much lately, and even moreso for not writing all the things I want to write yet. It's just A Time. There's a lot going on, and I once again promise I'm not ignoring anyone.

[phoenix-flamed]

11.03.2011

[phoenix-flamed]

Head empty, no thoughts. Gonna force myself to write later though, once I'm more awake -- maybe that'll distract me from everything under the sun that seems inclined to go wrong lately.

In the meantime, have an icon of Miles that I will never have a reason to use, but love and therefore need to toss it out into the wild.

[phoenix-flamed]

Wow, I can't believe it's The Clive Rosfield from the hit game Final Fantasy XVI

@flamebearer

[phoenix-flamed]

Lrt I know I've probably reblogged that song already, but I listen to it so often for inspiration with my muse towards the kiddos.

Also hell yeah 2 AM feels trip!

When it came to trying to reason with Anabella, my Elwin did try to talk to her, to reason with her, to appeal to her. I admittedly take probably too much inspiration from Elwin's Inner Voice about Anabella being, "She won't listen to me."

When she refused to so much as entertain his ideas for the future of Rosaria, he adopted the same mentality he holds towards the rest of the nobility: show them, make them see for themselves if they refuse to listen. That way they won't be able to deny the merit of your choices and ideas.

How this translates to how he is with Clive and Joshua, especially Clive, is that he wants them to show everyone how great they are and what they're capable of. He already knows that truth; he's always known, and has never doubted them for a moment. But if others can't or refuse to see it, and if they won't listen to him about it, then the best course of action -- in his eyes, mind you -- for them is to show everyone how great they are. How smart, courageous, strong, and so much more, that they are. In the case of Clive, he encourages him even more because of Anabella and the nobility's penchant for wrongly looking down on him.

Most of all, though, he wants the boys to see for themselves just how great they are, so that they'll be able to see themselves the way that he sees them: great beyond measure. Not just because of what they can do, or the roles they play -- but by virtue of them being themselves.

He believes wholeheartedly in them.

[phoenix-flamed]

Life update: I'm still alive, just vibing still. I'll be back around soon!

[phoenix-flamed]

c ries... my boy...

[phoenix-flamed]

Tiny update! I'm taking a teenie break for the next few days. Nothing big, and nothing important, just need a little bit to recharge my batteries!

But I figured I'd give a head's up, because I do have those replies and starters I'm going to get to once I'm back in action! I'll also respond to DMs when I'm back, too -- I promise I'm not ignoring anyone!

[phoenix-flamed]

Me, reading Morphy's reply from Otto:

My muse's immediate reaction: go for it, Otto. I can take Kupka's men if they come calling back

Me: ............ can you not, sir