physalisalkekengi

[physalisalkekengi]

Where Am I

[physalisalkekengi]

tragedy is when a man has so much failwife potential & yet gets assigned suave dom by the fandom and isn't allowed to be anything else. chin up king your loser energy is seen and appreciated. by me

[physalisalkekengi]

Tower of Tomes

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it’s very funny to me that when dostoevsky was coming up with verkhovensky’s character he was all like “i’m going to make a villain. a true demon. this man is pure evil. he represents everything that is wrong with russia. he isn’t capable of love or being loved.” and then created this gay little twink of a man with daddy issues and a toxic crush

[physalisalkekengi]

[physalisalkekengi]

my new home

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not at all! I think I just needed closure lol. I’m so glad you still like them!

Dear Stavroginova,

I apologize for asking about a fanfic from 2016, but is there any chance you’ll continue writing Oneiric? I read it almost a year ago and still think about it at least biweekly. Even a rough draft or plot outline would be lovely because the fic was devastating and I’m so so curious about where you were planning to go with it! Pretty please? 🥺

A loyal reader of yours who is so normal about Demons

hello Anon! thank you so much for your kind message, it means a lot to me! i love that people are still reading the fics that i wrote 8 years ago <3

unfortunately, i'm pretty sure oneiric was finished - i didn't have any serious plans to continue it, since it ends with a, uh, rather violent breakup that doesn't leave much room for our hellish boys relationship to develop. what i think could happen is pyotr would eventually go after nikolai, of course, because the threat of imminent doom is not enough to turn someone down from chasing their sun, and nikolai might retaliate in a manner similar to what goes down in chapter 2. (also, i went through the tag and there's so many new fics! i need to read some, i'm so happy people are loving this book in the same way i did!)

however, i am forever haunted by stavrogin and still think about the novel a lot, so feel free to come off anon if you'd ever like to talk about it!

[physalisalkekengi]

Hey I’m anon!! Thanks for answering and just. Seriously I love your stuff. Anyway if you’re gonna check out newer fics can I recommend https://archiveofourown.org/works/34167385 this one?

Dear Stavroginova,

I apologize for asking about a fanfic from 2016, but is there any chance you’ll continue writing Oneiric? I read it almost a year ago and still think about it at least biweekly. Even a rough draft or plot outline would be lovely because the fic was devastating and I’m so so curious about where you were planning to go with it! Pretty please? 🥺

A loyal reader of yours who is so normal about Demons

hello Anon! thank you so much for your kind message, it means a lot to me! i love that people are still reading the fics that i wrote 8 years ago <3

unfortunately, i'm pretty sure oneiric was finished - i didn't have any serious plans to continue it, since it ends with a, uh, rather violent breakup that doesn't leave much room for our hellish boys relationship to develop. what i think could happen is pyotr would eventually go after nikolai, of course, because the threat of imminent doom is not enough to turn someone down from chasing their sun, and nikolai might retaliate in a manner similar to what goes down in chapter 2. (also, i went through the tag and there's so many new fics! i need to read some, i'm so happy people are loving this book in the same way i did!)

however, i am forever haunted by stavrogin and still think about the novel a lot, so feel free to come off anon if you'd ever like to talk about it!

[physalisalkekengi]

no matter the struggles there is always ao3 in bed

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how i sleep knowing some old russian man in the 19th century mentioned all my angst in his books and i am not universally alone with these feelings

[physalisalkekengi]

how does one make a cohesive post about a months old project of a raskolnikov doll that spiraled into . well whatever this is. more info below the cut <3

um. where to begin.... base construction? his body is about 20% papier mache, 10% tinfoil and 70% clay. elbow and knee joints are made with paperclips. every other joint is made with gundam ball and socket pieces.

the face is blank, the facial expressions are either drawn and stuck on with label/sticker paper or just drawn on digitally later but shhhhhh

couch is a repainted miniature from michaels with custom-made cushions, bible also from michaels i remade it to actually have pages & functional ribbon bookmark (the only thing that i kept was the cover w/the gold text) sailor boy suit is a 1/12th size for piconeemo dolls. axe is a repainted prop, no idea on what/where it came from :[]

his regular clothes are all made by me :) (perhaps it is obvious lmao) white buttonup, coat & pants ..... handsewn with sewing patterns i largely winged (again, it is probably obvious)

soup w/spoon, cup, lollipop & hat are also my own . you'd think i'd have gotten a good picture with that soup by now but alas.

and as for the "why" for the twilight sprkle or the sailor boy suit all i can say is "what else are you supposed to do with a doll"

[physalisalkekengi]

oh dear

d'awwwee hes shy. whats that you got there buddy.

[physalisalkekengi]

“I hope you live without the need to dominate, and without the need to be dominated. I hope you are never victims, but I hope you have no power over other people. And when you fail, and are defeated, and in pain, and in the dark, then I hope you will remember that darkness is your country, where you live, where no wars are fought and no wars are won, but where the future is. Our roots are in the dark; the earth is our country. Why did we look up for blessing — instead of around, and down? What hope we have lies there. Not in the sky full of orbiting spy-eyes and weaponry, but in the earth we have looked down upon. Not from above, but from below. Not in the light that blinds, but in the dark that nourishes, where human beings grow human souls.”

— Ursula K. Le Guin, “A Left-Handed Commencement Address” (Mills College, 1983)

[physalisalkekengi]

i wanted to try disco elysium inspired crime and punishment character portraits....

Raskolnikov and Razumikhin

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week before my period & suddenly i’m rodion romanovich raskolnikov

[physalisalkekengi]

"Real darkness has love for a face. The first death is in the heart."🪩🫁

[physalisalkekengi]

"Real darkness has love for a face. The first death is in the heart."🪩🫁