having online friends is sooooo crazy because it starts by sending ridiculous memes and then one day it’s like omg. home is a person I’ve never physically met
On one hand, having to justify my existence to cis people who think that they/them pronouns can only be used for multiple people, and also having to explain to trans people that I’d prefer getting he/himed by accident than she/her, but not in the closeted transmasc just hasn’t realized it yet way, because I HATE he/him as much if not more than she/her but because I present, look, and sound feminine so most people default to she/her but if someone uses he/him, that means I looked androgynous enough that they were confused on my pronouns. No matter how I present or look, nobody will EVER default they/them for me at first glance. And god that makes me sad.
Also just. The amount of people that want to label me as transmasc. I’m NOT transmasc. I could fully medically transition, and I would never be transmasc, because I’m not transitioning to be/look/sound more masculine, that is NOT one of my descriptors. If you call me transmasc I’m legally allowed to kill you.
Ough.
Just being trans-neutral in general.
There’s an exhausting amount of people, including trans people, that think the only ways to be trans are transmasc and transfem. So I’m also constantly justifying my existence to trans people aswell, and it’s like. FUCK. You, out of EVERYONE should understand. And yet you insist. I cannot be trans because I don’t experience gender or dysphoria the same as you.
Anyways. I’m tired. I love being nonbinary but fuuuccckkkk this sucks.
This post is about trans-neutral individuals and people who don’t fit the gender binary, if you derail I’m going to kill you with a brick.
I love you mutuals that know me more than my irl friends. I love you mutuals who let me rant about stupid stuff. I love you mutuals who aren't afraid to rant to me. I love you mutuals who I live vicariously through. I love you mutuals who get so excited about everything I share about my silly little life. I love you mutuals that are better friends than anyone I know irl. I love you mutuals I don't talk to, even though we show up in each other's notifications all the time. I love you mutuals I have the same taste with in everything. I love you mutuals I have only one thing in common with. I love you mutuals I have nothing in common with. I love you mutuals I only interact with through asks. I love you mutuals that tag me in all the tag games they see and in stuff they think I'd like. I love you mutuals I'm too scared to talk to. I love you mutuals who are too scared to talk to me. I love you mutuals I got from when I first got this app. I love you mutuals I got from a few days ago.
Read this. Go on. Just read it, d*mmit, we shan't ask thrice. Perhaps we can articulate it another way: sit down, grab a warm mug of something comforting, and give your eyes the word nourishment they so deserve.
It is just so very lovely. So fuzzy. So scrummy. It is, to quote Barbie (2023), to feel achy but good. So treat yoself to some achy but goodness by reading this reflection on fondness. Once you're done, and you find yourself swelling with mysterious warmth, get out there and share it. Spread the word. Tell loved ones. Bestow it on beloveds. Manifest it upon moots. Get fond or die tryin'.
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