picturefirelizards

[picturefirelizards]

"can you explain this gap in your resume?" I once breached the Fade in the name of another, to serve the Old Gods of the empire in person. I found only chaos and corruption. Dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused. No more. I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and it was empty!

[picturefirelizards]

i can’t hang out because i have to kiss my cat on the head 980 times

[picturefirelizards]

hottest thing a guy can be is a simp. just. a loser. a spineless fool. a total wet wipe of a man.

[picturefirelizards]

One thing they don’t tell you about sewing is that it is actually ironing

[picturefirelizards]

vigil's keep gang 💀💅✨

[picturefirelizards]

✵ Did you tell them? About us? ✵

✵ Of course not. ✵

[picturefirelizards]

Hawke, what the actual fuck?

[picturefirelizards]

Define "had sex" in whatever way seems fitting to you. We assume most people don't know the exact number; just make your best estimate.

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We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[picturefirelizards]

the scar sharing scene in jaws is actually a sex scene to those with enlightened minds

[picturefirelizards]

are we not feeling very pious today, brother lionel

[picturefirelizards]

rewatching the under the red hood movie and i gotta say as much as i love jason’s speech to bruce about how mad he is that the joker’s still alive, i still maintain that a severely underrated speech in this movie is from ra’s when he’s talking to bruce and in essence says ‘yeah so i hired the joker to distract you which was my bad because he totally went overboard and killed your son :/ and i felt so guilty i decided not to try and fight you anymore and then i stole your son’s corpse and tried to revive him via lazarus pit so i could like. make amends. except that was also my bad because we fucked that one up real good and when he came back out BOY was he weird in the head. killed my guys and then fucking jumped out a window and we lost him. my bad. and i thought he’d died again but apparently he’s in gotham and is like. totally destroying your whole lives which again, my bad. shouldn’t have tried to help. sorry about that. i’ll just stay out of your business from now on.’ which is actually the funniest characterisation of ra’s i’ve ever seen

[picturefirelizards]

Outfit Appreciation ➝ Dirty Dancing

[picturefirelizards]

[picturefirelizards]

so called free thinkers when h-o-t t-o g-o you can take me hot to go

[picturefirelizards]

the whole "lipstick on a pig" thing makes no sense because the second we gave a pig access to makeup she became god's cuntiest soldier

[picturefirelizards]

today I used the phrase "breasting boobily" in casual real life conversation and everyone was shocked asking how I came up with that and I had to explain it. ive been at the devil's sacrament so long that I forgot he wasn't god

[picturefirelizards]

"Do you believe in life after work?"

Seen in Marathon, Greece